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Transcript

Trusting God’s Unique Plan for Your Life · Grace for My Home | Christian Women, Growing in Faith

• 1:13
  Audrey: Hello friend, welcome back to Grace From my Home.
• 1:16
  Audrey: I hope that you're doing well.
• 1:17
  Audrey: We are doing well.
• 1:19
  Audrey: This is our spring break week.
• 1:22
  Audrey: My boys are off from school, my husband is also off from work and we did not plan anything big this year because my husband had to have an operation.
• 1:32
  Audrey: He had some surgery that he's been putting off and so finally, since he had this week off, he decided to do it this week and it's going to be a two-week recovery.
• 1:41
  Audrey: So I am trying to be a good nurse and take care of him.
• 1:46
  Audrey: But my boys are, they're good, they actually have jobs.
• 1:51
  Audrey: They're helping people do things, making a little bit of money, and hopefully by the end of the week I can take them and we can do some things like go to the pool, go to the beach, those kinds of things, because you don't want to spend your whole spring break working.
• 2:06
  Audrey: But they're not complaining because they got a little bit of cash.
• 2:09
  Audrey: But this week we are and it's kind of low key.
• 2:14
  Audrey: I took off of work and I'm just hanging out here at the house getting some things done here and, of course, taking care of Michael.
• 2:20
  Audrey: I'm thankful that I was able to do that, but I wanted to share with you some today, some things that have been on my heart, on my mind.
• 2:28
  Audrey: As you know, if you listen to the podcast we're going through a season of transition, as my husband has stepped down as pastor of our church and it was just too much.
• 2:39
  Audrey: He was lead pastor of our church Also.
• 2:41
  Audrey: He was a high school principal and working on his PhD and he just had to have something to give.
• 2:48
  Audrey: It was more than he felt like he could do.
• 2:53
  Audrey: Well, I know that feeling.
• 2:54
  Audrey: It's like you're doing two things halfway, but you wish you could just concentrate on one thing and do it well.
• 2:59
  Audrey: And after much prayer he felt like that.
• 3:03
  Audrey: The direction the Lord had given him was that his work at the church was done and it was time for him to move on.
• 3:11
  Audrey: So we're in a place of transition and trying to find our place, and it's just.
• 3:19
  Audrey: It stirred up some things in me and it's good.
• 3:22
  Audrey: A lot of times the Lord will get us in uncomfortable places and ask us important questions, because when everything's comfortable, we don't really think about the hard questions.
• 3:33
  Audrey: We kind of get in a mode where you know we're good, I'm fine, I'm good, but when things are not as clear.
• 3:43
  Audrey: Then we get to ask the hard questions and really care about the answers, and that's when we learn.
• 3:50
  Audrey: You know you can't really learn if you're not curious.
• 3:53
  Audrey: You can't really learn if you don't want to know the truth.
• 3:58
  Audrey: You know, there's an old proverb that says the teacher will appear when the student is ready.
• 4:05
  Audrey: And I understand that, you know.
• 4:07
  Audrey: I understand that because you know you can have the best teachers right at your fingertips.
• 4:13
  Audrey: But if you don't care, if you don't want to learn, then that's not going to do you any good.
• 4:19
  Audrey: In order to really learn and grow, you have to have a desire to know and to grow and to change, and so the Lord uses uncomfortable places to make us question what we really know.
• 4:34
  Audrey: Is this true or is it not?
• 4:36
  Audrey: And so today I just want to share with you some things that are on my heart.
• 4:41
  Audrey: It helps me when I'm going through transition to remember you know how hard this is to have grace with other people.
• 4:49
  Audrey: Guys, we're going to have grace with each other.
• 4:52
  Audrey: We really do.
• 4:54
  Audrey: You know, especially in the body of Christ, we're supposed to love each other, and we can't love each other without showing compassion and without showing understanding and without humbling ourselves, because a lot of times we can get to that place where we just think you know, we know it all and that's a that's a that's a bad place to be.
• 5:12
  Audrey: You know, when we get to that place where we know everything, we have stopped learning, we have stopped growing, because we don't have any desire to learn, we don't have any capacity to learn, because when we're all full of ourself, we don't have any space left for Jesus.
• 5:29
  Audrey: And I want to share with you a little bit about my journey.
• 5:32
  Audrey: I think that it will be helpful with what I want to share with you today.
• 5:36
  Audrey: You know, for you who listen to the podcast and know anything about me, you probably know everything I'm going to share right now.
• 5:43
  Audrey: But I did not grow up in a Christian home.
• 5:45
  Audrey: I grew up in a home that was an alcoholic home.
• 5:49
  Audrey: My mom and dad did not go to church, but I had two grandmothers who did, and the one who lived beside me who helped raise me.
• 5:57
  Audrey: She made sure that every Sunday I was with her at church and I'm very grateful for that.
• 6:04
  Audrey: I'm very grateful because without that I would not have known anything, but she made sure that I was there, but there was.
• 6:13
  Audrey: I knew from an early age that you know there's you act certain ways at certain places, and at church you act this way, but at home we didn't act that way.
• 6:20
  Audrey: You know it was.
• 6:21
  Audrey: It was a stark contrast between what the things I heard at church and the way we lived at home, and I learned quickly.
• 6:31
  Audrey: These people have no idea what I live in or how we live at home, have no idea what I live in or how we live at home, and so I often felt like I didn't really fit in in the church.
• 6:43
  Audrey: Now, I was a child, you have to understand.
• 6:45
  Audrey: I was looking at this through a child's eyes and maybe they did know, maybe they would have understood, but that was very far removed.
• 6:55
  Audrey: The things they talked about were very far removed from where I actually lived.
• 6:58
  Audrey: And so you know I'm thankful for that education, and at a young age I gave my heart to the Lord.
• 7:05
  Audrey: I was very sincere in doing that.
• 7:08
  Audrey: But as I grew and went to college and no one was knocking on my door telling me I had to go to church, I stopped and I started to really question what I believed, what I believed about God, what I believed about you know, is there a God?
• 7:24
  Audrey: Is it the God that I know?
• 7:25
  Audrey: Is it the God that I was brought up learning?
• 7:27
  Audrey: And I really wasn't sure and I had a lot of doubts.
• 7:30
  Audrey: Well, by the grace of the Lord, my senior year at college, I became a Christian.
• 7:36
  Audrey: And it wasn't just a confession of faith, it was a life-changing experience.
• 7:43
  Audrey: I was born again and I knew I was born again.
• 7:46
  Audrey: And you might say, well, how do you know?
• 7:47
  Audrey: You were born again Because I was there, because I knew I will never be the same.
• 7:52
  Audrey: And there was also a part of me that was afraid.
• 7:56
  Audrey: Well, you know, I've tried this before.
• 7:58
  Audrey: What if it doesn't work?
• 7:59
  Audrey: But there was an assurance that I'm not doing this alone, that the God, who, who saved me, the God who rescued me, is going to help me.
• 8:07
  Audrey: And so, as a senior in college, my life turned upside down and everything I thought I was going to do with my life it changed.
• 8:17
  Audrey: Well, during that time I had, I lost a lot of friends, you know, just because I couldn't do the things that we were doing before.
• 8:25
  Audrey: And I didn't have a lot of friends, because by the time you become a senior in college, you know, everybody has their own friend group and I wasn't in one of those, so not in any Christian friend groups.
• 8:37
  Audrey: So I started going to, you know, campus Crusade for Christ.
• 8:41
  Audrey: I started going to there was a Presbyterian organization.
• 8:44
  Audrey: They had a I think it was a Tuesday night Bible study and I remember going there and it was huge.
• 8:50
  Audrey: It was so many people and I would kind of sneak in the back because I didn't know anybody.
• 8:55
  Audrey: And then you know, I would listen to the message and I would kind of sneak in the back because I didn't know anybody.
• 8:57
  Audrey: And then you know, I would listen to the message and I still remember I wish I could remember the guy's name.
• 9:02
  Audrey: It was at Clemson University, it was the Reformed Fellowship, it was a Presbyterian group and this pastor, he taught my first couple months there.
• 9:14
  Audrey: He taught on the armor of God and it was so what I needed.
• 9:18
  Audrey: It was foundational in my salvation because he taught the word of God so clear and I remember just drinking in everything that he taught and I just appreciate that he will never know this until we meet in heaven, but the messages that he shared were so, so good for me.
• 9:40
  Audrey: It was like it was like drinking from a fountain and I remember one night, as I was there by myself because I kind of snuck in and snuck out they were passing on a flyer of like activities or whatever, and at the top of the flyer there was the scripture.
• 9:55
  Audrey: And guys, I was fresh, I mean, I knew nothing about the Bible or anything, but there was a scripture and it was Jeremiah 29, 11.
• 10:02
  Audrey: And I know a lot of times now we throw that scripture around, see it everywhere.
• 10:06
  Audrey: You know Christian bookstores and you know Facebook and Instagram.
• 10:12
  Audrey: But I remember reading that scripture at the top of that page and it was like the Lord had shown a light on it.
• 10:19
  Audrey: It was like he was speaking to me personally and he said for I know the plans I have for you, that they are plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
• 10:31
  Audrey: And I so needed to hear that at that moment because I had no hope for my future.
• 10:37
  Audrey: I felt like I had just given up everything for Jesus and now I had nothing.
• 10:42
  Audrey: I had no friends, I had no direction, I wasn't sure what to do with my life.
• 10:46
  Audrey: And it was like the Lord giving me hope.
• 10:50
  Audrey: I've got you, I've got a plan for you.
• 10:54
  Audrey: And that hope was enough to help me to hold on to my new faith and to trust that the path would unfold before me as I kept taking the next step and the next step.
• 11:07
  Audrey: And it did.
• 11:08
  Audrey: You know God was faithful.
• 11:10
  Audrey: He's still faithful, but that scripture gave me hope.
• 11:14
  Audrey: And you know we serve a God who loves to redeem.
• 11:18
  Audrey: That's what he does.
• 11:19
  Audrey: You know Jesus came, he lived, he died to set us free, to set us free from sin and to set us free from ourselves.
• 11:28
  Audrey: He loves us more than we love ourselves and he has a plan for us.
• 11:33
  Audrey: But we have to choose that plan.
• 11:37
  Audrey: We have to decide to trust him, to stay on the path until his plan unfolds for our lives.
• 11:44
  Audrey: He is a savior, he will save you, but his plan for us is not cookie cutter.
• 11:50
  Audrey: His plans are customized, they are not cookie cutter.
• 11:55
  Audrey: He will not do the same thing in your life that he did in my life.
• 12:00
  Audrey: Number one, because you're different than me.
• 12:02
  Audrey: Your past is different from me, your needs, your gifts are different than mine.
• 12:06
  Audrey: But also, he is a God of wondrous variety.
• 12:11
  Audrey: He is creative, was creative, and I believe he delights in making a special plan, a special life, just for you, just for me.
• 12:23
  Audrey: And you know, none of us have the exact same, none of us have the same fingerprints, none of us have the same voice.
• 13:12
  Audrey: We're all unique and so is the plan that our father, that our creator, that our Creator has made for us, and he's not predictable.
• 13:22
  Audrey: He's the God of the entire universe and we can't simplify Him into a list of things to do and not to do.
• 13:39
  Audrey: He can do whatever he wants to do and he can do something completely unique in your life that doesn't look like anything you've seen in anybody else's path or life or plan, and I believe he delights in doing that.
• 13:48
  Audrey: So we're not going to figure it out.
• 13:50
  Audrey: You know we're not.
• 13:51
  Audrey: You know we can learn from each other.
• 13:52
  Audrey: We can see what he's done.
• 13:54
  Audrey: Often I'll see what he's done in other people's life and I'll remember he's no respecter of person.
• 14:00
  Audrey: So instead of being jealous for what he has done in that person's life, I can say Lord, I want you to do something like that in my life.
• 14:08
  Audrey: Now, he won't copy it, but I opened myself up to being willing for him to do something different in my life.
• 14:16
  Audrey: And I want to be clear.
• 14:18
  Audrey: I believe in absolute truth.
• 14:20
  Audrey: I believe in right and wrong.
• 14:22
  Audrey: I believe that there are hard lines between right and wrong, but within the parameters of scripture, I believe that there are endless possibilities and infinite opportunities for us.
• 14:41
  Audrey: And to say that the Lord always does things this way, or that this is how he's going to do it in your life, or this is how it would look if you were obeying God, I think that is to limit God and to put him in a box.
• 14:56
  Audrey: I think he likes to jump out of any box that we try to put him into.
• 15:01
  Audrey: And you might say, well, why are you saying this?
• 15:05
  Audrey: You know, what does this have to do with anything?
• 15:07
  Audrey: Well, we like to grasp things with our minds.
• 15:13
  Audrey: We like to have predictable, we like to find predictable patterns and say, okay, this is how this works and this is how that works.
• 15:21
  Audrey: So we like to say, well, this is how God works and we can learn the things of God.
• 15:27
  Audrey: We can learn things about God.
• 15:29
  Audrey: He's a person.
• 15:30
  Audrey: We can learn about his personality and the things he likes and things he doesn't like.
• 15:33
  Audrey: But we will never figure him out.
• 15:38
  Audrey: And as Christians, I think we try to do that.
• 15:41
  Audrey: We try to figure him out.
• 15:43
  Audrey: It's important to get to know God.
• 15:45
  Audrey: It's important to learn his ways, to learn his word, to find out what he thinks about certain things, how he views certain things.
• 15:53
  Audrey: But we have to be careful of getting to the point that, because we know scripture and because we know a lot of stuff about God, that we've got him figured out, because that's when he will jump out of that box that we just tried to put him in.
• 16:07
  Audrey: He will not be tamed.
• 16:09
  Audrey: And see, we also do that with people.
• 16:12
  Audrey: We do that with people because we want to understand the things of God, or we want to feel like we have some kind of understanding of things.
• 16:22
  Audrey: Often we'll put people in boxes too and we'll say well, that's how God does it.
• 16:27
  Audrey: You know, god does it this way.
• 16:29
  Audrey: This is how God did it for me, so this is how God will do it for you.
• 16:32
  Audrey: And that may not be true.
• 16:35
  Audrey: It might be true or may not be true.
• 16:37
  Audrey: It might be true or it may not be true.
• 16:38
  Audrey: You know there are some things that, yes, god does for all of us.
• 16:42
  Audrey: When we come to the Lord, he teaches us, hopefully, places us in a place where there are people who can teach us and look out for us and pray for us and show us the way you know he gives us each other.
• 16:54
  Audrey: He plants us in the body, the way you know he gives us each other.
• 16:59
  Audrey: He plants us in the body.
• 16:59
  Audrey: He plants us in the body of Christ so that we can grow and we can be a part of the body and learn.
• 17:03
  Audrey: That's how we learn is we learn from each other.
• 17:05
  Audrey: But everybody's journey is different and the plans that he has for everyone is unique and we need to recognize that and we need to accept that and we need to honor that in other people's lives and not try to force them in the box that we think they belong or the box that we came out of.
• 17:28
  Audrey: Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.
• 17:33
  Audrey: My husband and I got married and we did not have children for some time.
• 17:37
  Audrey: We were trying, it just didn't happen.
• 17:39
  Audrey: Well, as luck would have it or, I guess, as the Lord would have it I left my current, my position that I had I was working at a university and I found another position working for a utility company in my town, in my area, and it was a promotion for me.
• 17:59
  Audrey: It was financially.
• 18:02
  Audrey: It was a big promotion for me and it lined up more with what I went to school for, because I was.
• 18:08
  Audrey: I went to school, I have an engineering degree and so I was excited about this.
• 18:13
  Audrey: I love that school where I worked.
• 18:14
  Audrey: I worked there for about 10 years.
• 18:16
  Audrey: I grew, I learned so much, but I was really looking forward to go into this new position, this new place, and I knew in my heart that the Lord had opened up this door for me because it was an excellent opportunity.
• 18:27
  Audrey: The second day I went to work.
• 18:29
  Audrey: I was coming home and I felt nauseous and I thought it's probably just nerves.
• 18:35
  Audrey: You know, it's a new job, new people, just trying to figure everything out, trying to find my place.
• 18:40
  Audrey: But something in me said stop and get a pregnancy test.
• 18:45
  Audrey: So I stopped that on the way home at the CVS, got a pregnancy test.
• 18:47
  Audrey: Come home and I'm pregnant.
• 18:49
  Audrey: Second day on the job and I find out I'm pregnant.
• 18:51
  Audrey: So this blows my mind.
• 18:54
  Audrey: So this blows my mind and I was a career woman and I was excited about this new career and the opportunities that God was opening up for me.
• 19:04
  Audrey: But something in my heart, in my life, in my mind, completely turned around when I found out that I was going to be a mom, and then, when the baby came, you know, everybody tells you that being a mom changes your life, or those children change your life, and they do.
• 19:21
  Audrey: But somehow it seems like, when people say that, it always felt like it was for the worst.
• 19:26
  Audrey: But when I held that little thing in my hand, my life was forever changed for the good, because from now on, it wasn't just about me, it was about us.
• 19:35
  Audrey: It was about me and my husband and this baby.
• 19:38
  Audrey: And how are we going to take care of this little thing that God has graciously given us to take care of?
• 19:44
  Audrey: This is a huge responsibility, and so my wants and my desires changed, and I found myself, for the first time in my life, wanting to be a stay-at-home mom.
• 19:57
  Audrey: Well, I'd never had that desire, and so I didn't really know what to do with it and I thought well, maybe this will fade, maybe this is what every mom goes through when she's a new mom.
• 20:10
  Audrey: Well, 16 months later, I had another one, and the desire was multiplied by two, but we were not at a place financially where we could do that.
• 20:18
  Audrey: We had debt and we had, and I was finally making good money, and I was making more money than I'd ever made in my life, and me and my husband were making about the same.
• 20:32
  Audrey: So for me to quit my job would cut our salary in half.
• 20:35
  Audrey: And I kept telling him this is in my heart to do this, this is in my heart to do this, and it's not that he was against it, it's just we couldn't see how.
• 20:44
  Audrey: And so, you know, god started doing something in me because I did not know how to be a mom, I did not know how to be a homemaker, I didn't know little things.
• 20:56
  Audrey: I always felt incompetent or insufficient and I just always felt like I was fumbling through.
• 21:03
  Audrey: And so I started reading books and I found some excellent books about you know how to be a homemaker and how to be a mom and those kind of things.
• 21:12
  Audrey: I remember coming across one book that it was particularly helpful in the beginning because it was talking about you know hacks, things you can do to keep your house in order.
• 21:22
  Audrey: Because, guys, I've always I still think I may have some form of ADD because I struggle with housework, I struggle with organization and you know, my heart is to be organized and to be on time and to have everything perfect, but I struggle in that area.
• 21:37
  Audrey: And so heart is to be organized and to be on time and to have everything perfect, but I struggle in that area.
• 21:38
  Audrey: And so this book had some very practical ways to keep on top of things and I thought, oh, this is good.
• 21:45
  Audrey: Well, as I read on through the book and I'm not going to give you the name of the book, because even though the first part I really liked, the last part I really struggled with because this mom came out and said every Christian woman should be a stay-at-home mom and this is God's will for your life.
• 22:06
  Audrey: Well, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I just couldn't.
• 22:10
  Audrey: Right then, and my husband was in agreement, what was I supposed to do?
• 22:14
  Audrey: Tell him no, it's God's will, I'm quitting my job and you'll just have to figure it out.
• 22:17
  Audrey: And you know I didn't have peace with that.
• 22:20
  Audrey: And so, as I read her words, I felt so guilty because there was no grace in it.
• 22:27
  Audrey: Let me just tell you, it was like you quit today.
• 22:29
  Audrey: That was what this book was advocating.
• 22:32
  Audrey: You need to quit now.
• 22:33
  Audrey: You're disobeying the Lord.
• 22:34
  Audrey: And I remember the guilt that I felt because her words in the beginning were so refreshing like, oh, you can do this, god will teach you, you can do this.
• 22:44
  Audrey: And then there's that hard line of you're disobeying God by not being a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:50
  Audrey: And my heart was to be a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:53
  Audrey: It was in my heart was to be a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:54
  Audrey: You know, it was in my heart.
• 22:55
  Audrey: But as a young mom I had a hard time processing that and I felt guilty.
• 23:04
  Audrey: And now, as I look back on it and I'm wiser and I'm stronger and I've seen some stuff and I understand that God does not have one plan for every woman, even every Christian woman, and we can't let people put their convictions, their beliefs, their belief system, their ideas on us.
• 23:30
  Audrey: You know, you have a relationship with God and a relationship is a partnership.
• 23:38
  Audrey: You talk to him, he talks to you.
• 23:40
  Audrey: My relationship with God is different.
• 23:44
  Audrey: I have a relationship with Jesus, you have a relationship with Jesus.
• 23:47
  Audrey: They're not the same.
• 23:49
  Audrey: Okay, I'm different and you're different.
• 23:51
  Audrey: He's the same, but we relate to him in different ways.
• 23:58
  Audrey: Now, that doesn't mean that what's sin for me isn't sin for you.
• 23:59
  Audrey: That's not what I'm talking about here.
• 24:01
  Audrey: Okay, be wise, listen up what I'm saying.
• 24:03
  Audrey: Okay, what I'm saying is, if I talk to Jesus and he puts this heart, this desire in my heart to be a stay at home mom, to quit my job and to be at home full time.
• 24:15
  Audrey: At home mom, to quit my job and to be at home full time, that doesn't mean that's his plan for you and you have the right not to want to be a stay at home mom and still be a Christian and not judge me and me.
• 24:31
  Audrey: Not judge you, and that's okay because I'm not you and you're not me.
• 24:35
  Audrey: Not judge you, and that's okay because I'm not you and you're not me.
• 24:40
  Audrey: But see, we have to give each other grace.
• 24:41
  Audrey: See, during this same time when I'm struggling with I want to be home but I can't be home, I got pregnant again and I had a friend who we were pregnant with my sick when I was pregnant with my second child.
• 24:51
  Audrey: She was pregnant with her first child and we worked together and both of us so wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and we talked about it a lot and you know, we were at work talking about how we want to be at home and we were at work talking about how we want to be at home.
• 25:09
  Audrey: Well, she was having some marriage issues and I knew a counselor.
• 25:14
  Audrey: I knew a friend who was a marriage counselor and I connected her counselor.
• 25:16
  Audrey: I knew a friend who was a marriage counselor and I connected her with that person and when I was out on maternity leave I came back.
• 25:22
  Audrey: This was my third child within four years and when I came back from maternity leave they had divorced.
• 25:30
  Audrey: Her and her husband had divorced.
• 25:31
  Audrey: She had found out that he had been having an affair the entire time.
• 25:36
  Audrey: They'd been working on their marriage even while she was pregnant and she was devastated and he left her to go with this other woman.
• 25:44
  Audrey: So here she is, a single mom, christian mom, and all I could think about was I knew her heart was to be a stay-at-home mom, but now there's no way she can't do that.
• 25:56
  Audrey: So would God put her in an impossible situation and then condemn her for not being able to do what other people say she must do if she really loves her children?
• 26:09
  Audrey: So see, there's so many nuances here and we have to be able to give each other grace and not be God in their life and not be judgmental and critical, because if I had been critical of her, it would have crushed her, because her heart was already broken and see, we have to treat each other with kindness and gentleness and not with a haughty spirit of I know what's best.
• 26:35
  Audrey: No, I'm not saying you do that, okay, I'm just giving you permission that things don't have to look the same for each of us.
• 26:45
  Audrey: And also at that job where I work, where the Lord opened up the door for me to go, one of my supervisors she actually was not my supervisor, she was my supervisor's supervisor.
• 26:56
  Audrey: She was a vice president of the company and I was struggling with the trying to have three children all under the age of four, and do my job well, and I am an excellent employee.
• 27:07
  Audrey: Let me just tell you, you know, I wanted to do everything perfect.
• 27:09
  Audrey: I wanted to do a good job.
• 27:12
  Audrey: And so, you know, I was struggling with some things and I went to her and I talked with her about some of know, I was struggling with some things and I went to her and I talked with her about some of the things I was struggling with and she shared something with me which was eye opening.
• 27:24
  Audrey: She said, audrey, your heart isn't here because you want to be home.
• 27:28
  Audrey: Tell me about, you know, your childhood.
• 27:32
  Audrey: And I told her.
• 27:33
  Audrey: You know, my mom couldn't be there.
• 27:34
  Audrey: She worked all the time just to make sure that our bills were paid and we had food, you know, because my dad was.
• 27:41
  Audrey: He was an alcoholic and so she had to work extra to make up for him not, and so I missed having my mom there.
• 27:50
  Audrey: But my grandmother, who was beside me, she was there for us, she helped raise us, but I always wanted that to be my mom, and so it was like I could see.
• 28:01
  Audrey: This is a desire, not just a desire the Lord has put in my heart, but I want to be that kind of mom.
• 28:06
  Audrey: I want to be there because I didn't have that.
• 28:10
  Audrey: Well, she told me her story.
• 28:11
  Audrey: She said when I grew up, my mom and dad were in huge debt.
• 28:13
  Audrey: She said when I grew up, my mom and dad were in huge debt and when the debt collectors would call, they would put me on the phone because they wanted, they knew that they would not talk bad to a child, or at least hoped so, instead of answering the phone themselves, they would put their daughter on the phone talking to the debt collectors.
• 28:34
  Audrey: And she said they called all the time.
• 28:37
  Audrey: And she said when I was young, I decided early that is not going to be me.
• 28:43
  Audrey: I'm going to make, I'm going to provide so well for my children financially that they won't have that stress of the debt collectors calling.
• 28:56
  Audrey: And you know, I thought we all want to do what's best for our children, we all want to give them what we missed and so you know that helped me have a lot, that helped me understand her in a deeper level.
• 29:10
  Audrey: And I think if sometimes we will stop and we will talk to each other and we will learn each other's hearts, then we will give each other grace.
• 29:23
  Audrey: And it's not just about moms, okay, it's not just about stay at home moms versus working moms.
• 29:25
  Audrey: That's not what I'm talking about.
• 29:26
  Audrey: This is in many, many areas.
• 29:27
  Audrey: If we will actually take the time to stop and to talk and to listen and give each other grace and not put our convictions on other people, then we can help each other grow, we can learn from each other, and that's part of maturing.
• 29:47
  Audrey: Growing up is knowing that there's no one size fits all.
• 29:51
  Audrey: I'm in a relationship with Jesus, which means he has a special plan for me and I can go to him and I don't have to feel, I don't have to accept the judgment of other people who are judging my decisions, but they don't know my story and they don't know my situation.
• 30:13
  Audrey: I'm not talking about walking in sin, ok.
• 30:15
  Audrey: I'm not talking about justifying sin by saying Jesus said it was okay.
• 30:19
  Audrey: I'm not talking about that.
• 30:21
  Audrey: I'm talking about just living our life as best as we can in relationship with God, trying to do what's right, trying to hear from heaven and not just assume that we know exactly what a Christian mom, a Christian woman, a Christian home is supposed to look like.
• 30:39
  Audrey: Now, god is not judging, he wants to help us.
• 30:44
  Audrey: Now I will tell you that when he started showing me the possibilities of a Christian home, I was elated at that.
• 30:50
  Audrey: I mean like it was a vision for me.
• 30:52
  Audrey: It was like, oh, this could be so good.
• 30:54
  Audrey: And he gave me ways to do that.
• 30:58
  Audrey: You know, he gave me a vision to live into and he gave me a calling you know to desire and long for.
• 31:04
  Audrey: You know it was not a you must do it this way, it better look this way.
• 31:10
  Audrey: It wasn't like that at all and I believe that some women he calls to that and some he doesn't, and that's okay.
• 31:19
  Audrey: And as part of the body of Christ, we have to understand that everybody's life, everybody's story, is not the same.
• 31:26
  Audrey: Now I will throw in this caveat.
• 31:29
  Audrey: Okay, I will throw this in.
• 31:31
  Audrey: You know, I've been in ministry for 25 plus years and I've seen a lot of stuff.
• 31:38
  Audrey: I've seen a lot of stuff, crazy stuff.
• 31:41
  Audrey: I've heard a man say God told me to leave my wife and marry this person over here.
• 31:48
  Audrey: You know he told me to do that and you know that's his plan for my life.
• 31:54
  Audrey: I'm not talking about that because, number one, that goes against God's word.
• 31:57
  Audrey: Okay, god, god didn't tell you to leave your children and your wife.
• 32:01
  Audrey: That's the lust of the flesh.
• 32:03
  Audrey: You know that is not surrendering your life to do God's will.
• 32:07
  Audrey: That is not following his plan, his unique plan for your life.
• 32:10
  Audrey: That is doing what you want to do, no matter who.
• 32:13
  Audrey: It hurts, and that's adultery.
• 32:21
  Audrey: I'm not talking about that.
• 32:21
  Audrey: I'm talking about not letting other people put their convictions on you and drown out what God is saying to you personally.
• 32:26
  Audrey: Because you feel like you have to fit a certain mold or you have to be part of a certain clique to be obedient to God.
• 32:33
  Audrey: Okay, let's break out of that mess.
• 32:35
  Audrey: Let's be wise as ser certain clique to be obedient to God.
• 32:38
  Audrey: Okay, let's break out of that mess.
• 32:39
  Audrey: Let's be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
• 32:41
  Audrey: Okay, and you know, when I was a young mom and first having those kids, I couldn't understand that.
• 32:55
  Audrey: When I read that book about every Christian mom should be a stay-at-home mom though my heart was to be a stay-at-home mom I felt condemned because at that time I couldn't be, because at that time it wasn't the timing of the Lord, even though my heart was there.
• 33:00
  Audrey: My heart was to do that.
• 33:01
  Audrey: That condemnation, that guilt trip of you better do this.
• 33:06
  Audrey: It ruined that book for me and I didn't have the confidence to say well, good for you, that's not what he's saying to me.
• 33:14
  Audrey: But as I've grown and I've seen some stuff, god's given me the confidence to be able to say, in love, that's not what he's saying to me right now and to learn to trust that God speaks to me and he speaks to you and he loves you and he has a good plan for your life.
• 33:32
  Audrey: Amen, jeremiah 29, 11.
• 33:34
  Audrey: I know it becomes cliche, I know it does.
• 33:37
  Audrey: But when the Holy Spirit speaks it to your heart, it comes alive again.
• 33:41
  Audrey: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future, and he has good plans in store for you.
• 33:52
  Audrey: No matter what is back there, no matter what's in the past, no matter what happened yesterday or last week or last year or 20 years ago.
• 34:00
  Audrey: Today, he has a good plan for you and he will show you the way.
• 34:05
  Audrey: He will take you by the hand and he will lead you in it and he'll give you the confidence to let go of judgment and let go of other people's expectations and find what he has for you and your family.
• 34:15
  Audrey: And you'll be so glad you listened, you'll be so glad you obeyed.
• 34:18
  Audrey: Amen.
• 34:21
  Audrey: Let's pray before we go today.
• 34:22
  Audrey: Father, I thank you for these precious women who are just seeking your will.
• 34:27
  Audrey: They just want to know what you have for them, they just want to be obedient.
• 34:30
  Audrey: And, lord, I pray that you would give them that hope that nothing satisfies like you, and that they will be so glad they obeyed in the end.
• 34:40
  Audrey: It might be hard right now, but they'll be so glad that they listened and obeyed when it's all said and done.
• 34:47
  Audrey: And, god, I pray that you would spring up that hope in their heart that you have good plans for them and that they don't want to miss it.
• 34:54
  Audrey: They don't want to turn aside to something else.
• 34:56
  Audrey: That, lord, they're going to keep their eyes on you and keep coming after Jesus.
• 35:00
  Audrey: Lord, we love you.
• 35:01
  Audrey: We ask you to keep us in Jesus name, amen.
• 35:05
  Audrey: Thank you for joining me again this week.
• 35:09
  Audrey: I hope and pray that you have a wonderful week.
• 35:13
  Audrey: If you have enjoyed this today, I'd like to ask a favor of you If you could please go wherever you listen to podcasts and leave me a five-star rating and review.
• 35:25
  Audrey: That would be wonderful.
• 35:26
  Audrey: When you rate this podcast, it puts it in front of people like you who may be interested in these kind of topics and can receive encouragement from this podcast.
• 35:36
  Audrey: So if it's been a blessing to you, maybe a blessing to someone else, and if you have a friend that needs some encouragement and you think this kind of word, this kind of encouragement, would be beneficial, please share it, and that would mean the world to me.
• 35:49
  Audrey: Also, I do send out weekly newsletters, words of encouragement, at least once a week, sometimes twice a week.
• 35:56
  Audrey: If you'll go to the show notes here, you'll see that I am working on special projects.
• 36:02
  Audrey: I know y'all must think you know I'll keep talking about it, but I am working behind the scenes on it.
• 36:06
  Audrey: I promise I'm working on some Bible studies, also working on possibly a second podcast, a daily devotion podcast, and I love you, I appreciate you and until next time, keep your eyes on Jesus, god bless.