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64. What are you giving meaning to? · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:01
  start harnessing your innate ability to supercharge your emotions, empower your decisions and elevate your life today through the power of meaning.
• 0:12
  AKA stop the mind, screw, you know, sometimes being a mom, isn't all about a title it's about who you are and what meaning you attach to it that matters.
• 0:24
  And like Vadim says, it's entirely up to you.
• 0:29
  You're listening to the Stop the Mind Screw Podcast I'm your host, Kathie Owen certified fitness trainer and life coach since 2002, teaching others the Stop the Mind Screw Process on this channel, we talk about fitness, growth, mindset habits, and even some Reality Transurfing it's Tuesday.
• 0:48
  So we are talking, Transurfing on Tuesday.
• 0:54
  Today we are discussing what we give meaning to and how that affects our lives.
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  The quote of today is every time you attach a meaning to something, it becomes important and therefore a pitfall.
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  And so.
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  Watch the meaning you attach to things because when you change the meaning, you also change the story.
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  It is really entirely up to you.
• 1:23
  The Vadim Zeland Transurfing in Your Pocket.
• 1:28
  I have a stepson with my ex-husband.
• 1:30
  His name is Nick.
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  And when Nick was about 12 years old, we attended his football game.
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  And after the game, my husband asked if Nick wanted to come spend the night with us.
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  Nick's response hurt Kenny to no end.
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  Nick said, I need to go ask my parents.
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  Kenny seriously cried.
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  And I can count the number of times.
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  I saw Kenny cry on one hand and I spent 10 years with the man and have known him for over 30 years now.
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  After we divorced in 2000, Kenny quickly married his mistress, who was the secretary while we were married.
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  Oh, she could have my husband hell I'd tie a bow on him and give him to her.
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  It is what she did with my kids that hurt to the core.
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  My boys were only four and two.
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  When we divorced, they were easily influenced and easily brainwashed at those ages, their stepmom, the mistress forced them to call me Kathie and call her mom.
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  This was horrible.
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  And only the beginning of the stepmom's narcissistic tendencies to control her little world.
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  I had to reframe my attachments as a mom to protect my kids.
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  Obviously my children are important.
• 2:55
  And as Vadim states in the quote, when you attach meaning to something, it becomes important.
• 3:03
  I learned that I was attaching meaning to my life as a mom.
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  Of course I was, we all do this as parents, but I learned to let go of that attachment.
• 3:16
  Beacause, well, first of all, it protected my children from the drama.
• 3:21
  And second of all, it changed the story.
• 3:24
  I was telling myself, this gave me my power back.
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  And by the way, I didn't cry every time my kids said, let me ask my mom and trust me, that happened often.
• 3:39
  Meaning is everything.
• 3:42
  Is this the end of something wonderful or the beginning of something unpleasant?
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  Are you feeling unsure about yourself as a parent because your kids are being brainwashed?
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  Or are you being punished for your failure or rewarded for your success?
• 3:57
  The minute you decide to focus on something, you assign it, meaning and infuse it with feeling.
• 4:05
  How you define an event, produces emotion and determines your inner feeling state going forward.
• 4:12
  The meaning you assign to any event, interaction or outcome defines the emotional tone of your experience and the feelings you generate throughout your life..
• 4:24
  The meaning you give your experiences will always change how you feel and the emotion you feel always becomes the quality of your life.
• 4:34
  Our memories are actually anchors to feeling states, images sounds, and sensations.
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  All of these aspects rely on the meaning we give to them.
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  Meaning and triggers.
• 4:48
  I am a survivor of complex post traumatic stress disorder.
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  And I spent many years in therapy.
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  I can distinctly remember the feeling I would have after a session.
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  When I reframed my situation, this experience happened many, many times, and it left a profound impact on me.
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  The colors of my world would appear more vivid and things just became clear.
• 5:15
  I had gotten my power back or as the Vadim says, in Reality Transurfing, I had moved to another lifeline.
• 5:24
  My therapist has a wonderful theory of psychology and she talks about the victim victimizer cycle that we enter.
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  We especially entered this cycle with ourselves and I'll never forget Sherry my therapist telling me that to get out of that cycle.
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  We must get to Victor.
• 5:47
  I've talked about this victim victimizer cycle several times on my blog and also in the podcast.
• 5:54
  And I'll leave a link in the description and show notes for you to find some more information about that there.
• 6:02
  So Victor just sees things as they are.
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  There are no attachments in Victor.
• 6:09
  I would get out of victim mentality by having a talk with myself.
• 6:14
  I would find the positives and they would look like this.
• 6:19
  I am the mom.
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  This is God's gift to me.
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  And no one can take that away from me.
• 6:24
  You know, Mark 10 verse 9 says this what God has joined together.
• 6:30
  Let no man put asunder.
• 6:33
  I feel compassion for my victimizer, AKA the stepmom.
• 6:38
  She really has to go through a lot to try to control her world like that.
• 6:44
  And I would also feel compassion for the stepmom, for being married to my ex.
• 6:50
  Statements like that would help me find the positives in the situation and get into Victor.
• 7:00
  Are you on our email list?
• 7:01
  Consider joining today.
• 7:03
  We offer exclusive weekly stories that relate to the Transurfing on Tuesday episode a download on how to deal with pendulums and identify your destructive and constructive pendulums.
• 7:15
  So you can spend your energy where you want there's bonus content on stop the mind, screw and reality Transurfing, including a mental diet resource guide, a definite chief aim template.
• 7:28
  and more.
• 7:29
  I sure hope to see you there.
• 7:31
  It's at www.kathieowen.com/reality-transurfing.
• 7:39
  Now, back to the episode.
• 7:42
  Reframing.
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  So it all starts now with your decision to become conscious of the meaning.
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  You are constantly creating.
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  This technique is called reframing.
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  This is something that Sherry taught me endlessly, and it's one of the most powerful tools you can use to improve your mindset and even your entire life.
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  Reframing isn't about pretending a situation is great when it may not be rather it's about discovering what could be great and what you could learn by consequence or how you can use the situation to create a better outcome.
• 8:20
  Perspective is a powerful thing.
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  And when you can reframe a particular experience or interaction, you can often change what happens as a result.
• 8:31
  Human beings tend to attach certain meanings to experiences.
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  We say this happens.
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  So it must mean fill in the blank.
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  In actuality, there may be an infinite number of ways to interpret any experience.
• 8:48
  We frame the events in our life, based on the ways we've decided to perceive similar experiences in the past forming habitual patterns we repeat throughout our lives.
• 9:00
  Are your patterns helping.
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  Or harming you.
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  It's vital to remember that our perceptions are creative in nature.
• 9:09
  If we define something as negative, that's the message our brain receives and responds to by creating an emotional state that reinforces that reality.
• 9:20
  Reframing is the difference between being constantly disappointed and being consistently satisfied by stacking positive interpretations one after the other, you become the author of the success story of your own life.
• 9:36
  You leave victim mentality and enter into what my therapist Sherry would call Victor.
• 9:44
  How would you feel at bedtime?
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  If every day turned out to be the ideal interesting or even amazing, it's actually closer than you think.
• 9:57
  Start harnessing your innate ability to supercharge your emotions, empower your decisions and elevate your life today through the power of meaning.
• 10:09
  AKA stop the mind, screw, you know, sometimes being a mom, isn't all about a title it's about who you are and what meaning you attach to it that matters.
• 10:21
  And like Vadim says, it's entirely up to you.
• 10:25
  All right.
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  That's my episode for today.
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  I hope you liked it.
• 10:29
  If you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 10:33
  And until next time I'll see you next time Peace out and Namaste