Latest / Candid Coach Conversations / How Future Casting Can Transform Your Life
Transcript
- 0:00Hello there and welcome to Candid Coach Conversations.
- 0:03I'm Kimberly, founder of Live Life Fully,
- 0:05and today I have with me Teresa Anderson,
- 0:08a certified Live Life Fully coach and published author of The Table.
- 0:12Welcome Teresa.
- 0:13Thank you for having me.
- 0:15So glad you're here. We've been doing a lot of talking lately about
- 0:19our present self, our past self,
- 0:21our present self, and our future self.
- 0:23And so today I was hoping you would share with us when you think about meeting your
- 0:29future self. If you'll share with us,
- 0:31like what would that mean or what would that look like?
- 0:34What does that mean to you when you hear the words meeting your future self?
- 0:37I immediately hear the word future.
- 0:39Like it kind of stands out. It's more broadcasted.
- 0:42And so when I think about the future,
- 0:44it it's not waiting for you. It's being built by you,
- 0:49essentially. So it's
- 0:50I love that.
- 0:52Yes.
- 0:52So it's
- 0:52about like the choices, you know,
- 0:55when no one applauds or the self that is moving and activating.
- 1:01with every decision that you make today,
- 1:03essentially. So the distance between your present and your purpose
- 1:08is measured in daily choices. It's measured in intention,
- 1:11right? And so here recently I was trying to cultivate a lead magnet
- 1:16and because of the table, I I'm I'm just t I'm very table focused right now.
- 1:21And so I come up I came up with the i the idea of like your future self sitting
- 1:26across from you at the table. And what
- 1:29would they say to
- 1:30You? You know,
- 1:31Mm.
- 1:31how would you feel? What would you want them to look like?
- 1:35Would they be proud of you? Would they be proud of who you are in this moment today?
- 1:39Would they have advice or what would their advice be?
- 1:43And what does that level of legacy even mean to you?
- 1:47my gosh, I love the word legacy.
- 1:48And I love that you said the future is actually what you're building each day.
- 1:52So true. And I think that's something that a lot of people often forget
- 1:57is that the future it is up to us every single day.
- 2:01It's not about it's not just something hanging out there waiting.
- 2:04okay,
- 2:04Exactly.
- 2:06so as a coach, as a live life fully coach,
- 2:09Teresa,
- 2:09And I know you work with people a lot on like what is it that they're going after,
- 2:14what is that future that they're wanting and the life that they're wanting to live.
- 2:18So as a coach, how important is it for people to think about their future self,
- 2:23do you think?
- 2:24I think it's super important. That's where you're headed.
- 2:27It's probably the most important experience of future casting is to actually
- 2:33be able to see and meet yourself in the future.
- 2:36I think, my my husband is a respiratory therapist and one thing that he says
- 2:41at the hospital is when people are on their deathbeds that it's not like
- 2:47I could have done this more, I could have gone to work more,
- 2:49I I should have done this or should have that,
- 2:52and I know that you love the word should,
- 2:53right?
- 2:54And they say this all the time.
- 2:56and the one thing that they always say or they come back to is the things that meant
- 3:01the most to them. So spending more time with their loved ones,
- 3:04spending more time with their family members,
- 3:06and also like the dream that they didn't accomplish that they felt that
- 3:10was soul purposed. And those are the things that often come up.
- 3:13And so when you think about this future self-experience,
- 3:16I always think like if I was sitting across the table from my future self.
- 3:20What does that version of me look like?
- 3:22One that's not shaped by fantasy,
- 3:24that but one that is shaped by courage,
- 3:27right? What I would I know that I would need them to ask me,
- 3:31like, I would need actually I would need to ask them,
- 3:34what do you need from me today so that you can exist?
- 3:37my god, it's so beautiful. So you would ask the future self you,
- 3:40what do you need for me today so that you can exist?
- 3:44Exactly.
- 3:45So good. Now, if you're just starting with somebody who's never considered future
- 3:49self,
- 3:50never even
- 3:50Mm-hmm.
- 3:50thought about that, and has never heard or considered the word future casting,
- 3:55how far in the future would you say for a person?
- 3:58I think if I was just starting with someone,
- 4:00I probably would go fairly soon into the future.
- 4:03And then as that experience of future casting builds in them,
- 4:07they build that muscle almost like going to the gym and getting more practice,
- 4:11getting more exercise, seeing further and further away.
- 4:14But I think I would start closer.
- 4:16So I would probably start somewhere in like next year,
- 4:19six months to a year, and then move out from there.
- 4:23Yeah, and I love that. And I love the whole idea of timelines.
- 4:25And I s I often get pushback from clients that I work with,
- 4:28but they're like, I don't want a timeline.
- 4:30I don't want to set a deadline.
- 4:31And I'm like,
- 4:33Yeah.
- 4:34Okay. And I'm paid to push as a coach.
- 4:36So we're gonna come up with that.
- 4:38But I agree. I would start also and then
- 4:42When people start talking about the importance of their family or their children
- 4:46or their spouse, I'm like, okay,
- 4:48so you're talking about your child who's 15 today.
- 4:51And one day they're gonna get married,
- 4:54maybe. or one day this big event is gonna happen.
- 4:57And do you want to be there? And what do you want that to look like?
- 5:00And to kind of help them with that future version of themselves.
- 5:05Absolutely.
- 5:06Yeah.
- 5:06I think it's deeply tied to the people that we love and the experiences that
- 5:11are tied to our traditions, our beliefs,
- 5:13our values. And so if you can angle in there,
- 5:15then it'll open up that entire experience for them of why I want to be
- 5:21the kind of grandma that can pick them up on the weekends and take them
- 5:23on trips or I want to do this and I want to do that.
- 5:25And
- 5:26Yes.
- 5:26I think that really does once you get that casted,
- 5:30then it can be like, okay, so what do we need to do in order to get us there
- 5:35in the in the now, right?
- 5:36Right. And I think that's the beauty of coaching.
- 5:39Yeah.
- 5:39I love that you brought that
- 5:40up about the grandparent wanting to pick up the grandkids on the weekends.
- 5:43I literally have a client I'm working with.
- 5:45Her she has two children. They're both under the age of twelve.
- 5:48And she is talking about health and wellness.
- 5:51And she's like, I want to stay my healthiest because one day I think
- 5:55my children wanna have children.
- 5:56They'll want to also have children.
- 5:58And I want to
- 5:59Yeah.
- 5:59be able to get up and down off the floor.
- 6:01easily to be able to play with them and I'm like my gosh her kids are twelve
- 6:06and or less than under years old
- 6:07Yeah.
- 6:08and she's thinking that way like that's amazing yeah I know
- 6:11That is amazing. That's gonna be one healthy grandmama.
- 6:14Get it girl!
- 6:16When I'm working with clients,
- 6:17and I know this has happened to you too.
- 6:19I've I don't know, but I'm pretty certain as their clients are starting
- 6:23to say something like that lady,
- 6:24I'm like, gosh, my children are adults and one day they're gonna have kids
- 6:28and I better I wanna start thinking about getting up and down off the floor easily.
- 6:33But I had never thought about it like that.
- 6:33Absolutely. Yeah.
- 6:34~
- 6:36so the same thing happens, I guess,
- 6:37while we're coaching is things that pop up for us.
- 6:40Ha ha ha.
- 6:41I love that. Yes. I want to be able to bend down and pick up the Legos
- 6:46or or whatever. But I
- 6:48Yeah.
- 6:48think that that also brings up like what are we postponing,
- 6:51right? Because in that particular scenario we might be postponing like exercise or ~
- 6:56Okay.
- 6:56whatever that looks like for you.
- 6:58I'm not one to suggest you have to go to a gym.
- 7:00Maybe it's walking, maybe it's running,
- 7:02maybe it's biking, maybe it's swimming,
- 7:03maybe it's dancing in your kitchen to your favorite jams,
- 7:06right? Like it could look like just about anything.
- 7:09So
- 7:10the thing when I think about even that situation,
- 7:13I'm immediately asking myself,
- 7:14what are we postponing in the now in order to have that vision?
- 7:19Right.
- 7:19Yeah. Okay, so future self and getting to meet that person.
- 7:24So you mentioned earlier that you would ask your future self at the table,
- 7:28okay, future self, what do you need from me today
- 7:31so that
- 7:31Mm-hmm.
- 7:31you can exist in the future? Are there other very specific questions that
- 7:36you would ask your future self?
- 7:37I think I would probably say I would ask what do I need to let go of?
- 7:43I think I would ask
- 7:45What fear do I hold that's not worth carrying?
- 7:50I think I would ask
- 7:52Mm.
- 7:53What do I need to become? Not to achieve success,
- 7:56but to sustain it.
- 7:57Okay, beautiful. So really it's getting in touch with that inner knowing that
- 8:02we really have.
- 8:03Absolutely.
- 8:04That we don't always let out.
- 8:05Yeah. What am I missing? Like what am I not paying attention to is even probably
- 8:10a bigger part of that, right? I think when we have fears,
- 8:13when we have worries, when we have these concerns or
- 8:17beliefs about ourselves that may be limiting,
- 8:19we tend to kind of suppress those things and just live in the happy places
- 8:23of our lives.
- 8:24Sure.
- 8:24And that feels better. And the reality of like future casting has to
- 8:29be getting real with what is the thing that you really do want to change,
- 8:34but you're just choosing not to because you haven't developed a system
- 8:38or program in order to make that happen where it feels more realistic and
- 8:41not so far away.
- 8:42So something that I've been doing lately,
- 8:44I'd love to share, is but lately,
- 8:46no no no, no it's not true. It's been for a couple of years several years now.
- 8:51is when there is something that seems bigger than possible or a fill in the blank,
- 8:56whatever, hard, challenging,
- 8:57Mm-hmm.
- 8:58although I don't like those words.
- 8:59But anyway, but like Kier Burley,
- 9:02come back down to earth.
- 9:04Those kind of ideas.
- 9:05I've been doing is whatever I'm like,
- 9:07yeah, yeah, yeah, that's probably impossible or I don't know if I have enough time
- 9:10or if I have enough energy or if I have enough smarts or whatever.
- 9:13Fill in the blank.
- 9:14A thing that I've really I have truly been working on going back to is okay,
- 9:19Kenner Kimberly, identify all the places in your life where you have been
- 9:23ex successful or all the places in your life that you have achieved something.
- 9:29Starting with I learned to walk.
- 9:31Like I wasn't even
- 9:32Yeah.
- 9:32a year old and I learned to walk.
- 9:34Yo, that was hard stuff.
- 9:36I love it. That's so great. Yeah.
- 9:38~
- 9:39And so with the
- 9:40park stuff and I did it anyway,
- 9:42I can do stuff. And so
- 9:44You can do stuff.
- 9:47and I've not always had that way of thinking.
- 9:50especially I'd say it started especially after 2018.
- 9:54And so now any time I'm like, Yeah,
- 9:55I don't know, or I don't know if I'm blank enough,
- 9:58I'm like, no, no, no, no way.
- 10:00I learned to walk. I also learned to ride a bike,
- 10:04to tie my shoes, to speak. Like what?
- 10:07That is hard. And then I made it through kindergarten,
- 10:11all the way up through
- 10:11Mm.
- 10:1212th grade. I did. And then went to college.
- 10:14You did it.
- 10:15And then went to more college.
- 10:17Like what? Y'all, we don't give ourselves enough credit.
- 10:20And so whenever truly, I mean it sounds silly like I learned to walk,
- 10:23but
- 10:24For real, that is hard to know how many times I don't know if you know
- 10:28how many times you fell down. I don't know the exact
- 10:30yeah.
- 10:30number, but it was probably a bazillion jillion whatever number that
- 10:34is times infinity that I fell down
- 10:36Right.
- 10:37and yet today I can walk. It's a big damn deal.
- 10:40Absolutely.
- 10:43If you can strut today, in fact.
- 10:46You can dance.
- 10:46That's right. That's right. Yes.
- 10:51Like what? And so even though it sounds silly,
- 10:54it is it it actually does fuel me.
- 10:57~ because then I'm like, yeah,
- 10:59like that was harder than whatever the idea is that I've come up with for the week.
- 11:05Absolutely.
- 11:06so it's like we do have proof.
- 11:09We do.
- 11:09So when we're asking our future self,
- 11:11like what is it? Like Teresa, what you said,
- 11:13like what is something I need to let go of?
- 11:15Where is their fear that I am really choosing and allowing to block
- 11:20my progress or to block my next step forward?
- 11:24And then to be able to sit back with your current self and remind yourself,
- 11:28self, you learn to walk.
- 11:30You did.
- 11:31Dang it.
- 11:32You know what I love about this?
- 11:33This also brings up labels, right?
- 11:35Because you
- 11:35Yes.
- 11:36have you and I have had a conversation about labels before,
- 11:39where like at some point this younger version of self was so courageous that
- 11:43it said, I'm gonna walk, I'm gonna put things in my mouth,
- 11:46I'm gonna touch the hot stove,
- 11:47I'm gonna do all this ridiculous stuff just because I'm so curious and
- 11:52I'm and I don't e I may not even know what courage is yet,
- 11:55but I'm literally fulfilling courage on a daily basis.
- 11:59Yeah.
- 11:59And yet then here
- 12:01comes these labels, right? And we let people label us throughout our lives.
- 12:04And then before you know it, we wake up one day and we're believing
- 12:07the labels instead of the fact that we were born into a position of courage.
- 12:12Right.
- 12:12Yes. Yes. Yes. I have
- 12:15a note that I keep here in front of me.
- 12:16I don't know if you can see it,
- 12:17but it says curiosity. And so I keep that.
- 12:20And anytime I flip my this is my Kimberly idea pops in the brain page.
- 12:25Yeah.
- 12:27pages. And so when I flip the page on the next
- 12:30I will write curiosity again. And that
- 12:32Yeah.
- 12:33is my reminder, I do want to stay curious every day.
- 12:37Curious about others.
- 12:38Mm-hmm.
- 12:38Yes, and I want to remain curious about myself.
- 12:42I literally learn things about myself every single day through every conversation
- 12:47that I have,
- 12:49Mm.
- 12:49which makes my future self talk so intense.
- 12:53Yeah,
- 12:53that's amazing. It's one courageous decision can introduce you
- 12:58to a completely different tomorrow.
- 13:01Yes.
- 13:01Yeah. Right to say that again.
- 13:03One perfect decision.
- 13:05When we were walking and dancing
- 13:07in the rain sometimes.
- 13:09Yes, yes. So good.
- 13:12my gosh. I love it. And I love this conversation about future self conversations.
- 13:17Yeah. So okay, Teresa, tell us.
- 13:19What is something that you want everyone listening to ask themselves today?
- 13:25Or what can they start their conversation with their future self?
- 13:29How can they start it?
- 13:30I would say to remember that every day you're either rehearsing your past
- 13:37or preparing for your future.
- 13:39So ask yourself
- 13:40When these thoughts come up, when these worries,
- 13:43fears, concerns, when you're in a space of curiosity,
- 13:46because that's likely when it's gonna show up.
- 13:48When you're being curious and you want to step out and you want
- 13:51to do something different, something great.
- 13:52It could be anything, guys. You don't have to write a book.
- 13:56You might want to bake. You might want to paint you whatever your heart
- 14:02desires, and a fear or a thought,
- 14:04a worry, a way where you're breaking down and pushing your curiosity.
- 14:09down about this possibility of things.
- 14:12I want you to ask yourself, am I rehearsing the past or am I looking into my future?
- 14:18Yeah.
- 14:19Beautiful. I'm so glad you joined us today,
- 14:21Teresa. Thank you so much. And for everyone listening,
- 14:24remember to live life fully and enjoy every moment.
- 14:28Teresa, we'll see you again soon.
- 14:31Absolutely. Thank you, Kimberly.