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Unlock Sales Success: Never Split the Difference · Reborn w/ Antonio Boutros

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to develop your professional skills, if you want to become a better negotiator, become a better salesperson, and get better relationships and make more money, then chances are you have looked at investing in yourself.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that means webinars, masterclasses, books, or otherwise.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk to you about one of the most important books you should read if you want to develop your life, if you want better relationships, if you want to make more money.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: If that sounds like you, then listen up.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Here is the book that will change your life.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Never split the difference.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: This book is written by a former FBI agent by the name of Christopher Voss.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: In his time in the FBI, he learned how to negotiate with criminals.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: you can do the same thing with your prospects, with your relationships, your loved ones.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone you want to have a relationship with, you can use these strategies that Christopher Voss lays out for you in Never Split the Difference.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing that stuck out to me in the book was three different voices that you should use when you are speaking with people.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's one voice, the late night D FM DJ voice.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, you would keep your voice calm and slow.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You should not use this voice at all times, but you can use it selectively when you want to create an auth, an aura of authority and trust.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: The second voice is a playful or positive voice.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: This should be your positive voice, this should be your default voice.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a voice of an easy-going, good-natured person.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: This voice will help encourage the other individuals to start opening up.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Third voice is the direct or a starter voice.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is a voice you should use most sparingly.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: This type of voice frequently creates pushback, so you should only use it if there is no alternative.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Here is when you should use the voices.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: A use a late night FM voice unless circumstances insist you use one of the other uh one of the other voices.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Late night FM DJ voice.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Start with phrases like, and this isn't, and this is after they tell you something.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Start with phrases like I'm sorry.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry to hear that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I feel your pain.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I understand what the situation is.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your transparency.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Meter the other uh participants to build a rapport.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Use silence effectively.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Too many people are afraid, and this is something I've worked on on my podcast is too many people are afraid of letting the room be silent.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: It feels awkward, and it's something you have to get used to because it is powerful.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So use silence effectively and then respond positively.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: After having gained a better understanding of the other individuals' emotions, you will want to validate their emotion by acknowledging it.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't just want to be like, okay, that's cool and move on.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge it, let them know you know they are a human being.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is called labeling.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Once you have spotted an emotion, you should label it aloud by observing nonverbal cues and the words they are using.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: You should always start your labels of emotions with one of the following phrases.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Either it seems like it looks like it sounds like here's how that would play out.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like you have had so many people just messing with you, and you just want to be done with this situation.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, what what can I do in order to X, Y, and Z?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or even simpler, it seems like, let's say weight loss, for example, it seems like you have been struggling to lose weight um because your kids just take so much time from you, or something like that.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Use the same exact thing that they told you, mirror them.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Chris Voss uh he emphasizes that label is label labeling negative emotions can diffuse them, while labeling positives can reinforce them.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Based on this, labeling can help de-escalate situations.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Chris introduced three kinds of yes.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: The first yes is a counterfeit yes, and you need to spot this.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is when the party sees a yes response as the easiest escape route.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: The party had planned to say no, but I didn't want to deal with the repercussions.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, they are saying yes in order to shut you up, they are saying yes in order to move on in the conversation.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You need to recognize these because it is a false yes.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: The second yes is a confirmation yes.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is generally straightforward.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: The other party provides a reflexive response to a straightforward question.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Were you there that night?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Great confirmation.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: The third one is commitment.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is the most impactful type of yes.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: This type of yes will lead to a definite outcome, like signing a contract.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is the yes that you want to go for.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you must learn which of these yeses is being used by the other party.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding this will help you guide the conversation forward and get to the center of a negotiation.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Questions like, what about this is important to you?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: How can I help make this better for us?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: How would you like me to proceed?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that brought us into this situation?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: How can we solve this problem?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: What are we trying to accomplish here?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: How am I supposed to do that?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: These questions will make the other party feel like they are in charge.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: That said, in reality, you are the one in charge because you are the one leading the conversation.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You should always establish a range while explaining the evidence underlying your point.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, Chris recommends establishing a ballpark figure with credible references to support your claims.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you're negotiating a salary, you should reference how people in similar roles usually earn between 120 and 140,000.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: This approach increases your chances of success.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're backing your point with evidence and weaving room for the other party to consider an offer around this range.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: The other party would be less defensive as it sounds like you are telling them, as it sounds less like you are telling them what to do.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting, what's interesting to me is arbitrary numbers are generally more likely to be accepted.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And this is very, very interesting.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: For example, research suggests that numbers ending in zero tend to feel like placeholders that can be bargained down.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: On the other hand, a less rounded number like$47,845 feels more likely due to a thoughtful calculation.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: A guy named Albert Albert Melrabin, remember I can't even pronounce that.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Albert M created the 738-55 rule percent rule.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: This rule states that only 7% of a message is based on the words used.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: 38% of the message comes from the tone of voice, and 55% comes from body language.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Pay close attention to the tone and the body language of the other party.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Identify if these match the literal meaning of the words they are trying to convey.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: If they don't, it's apparent they are trying to lie.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: The rule of three involves getting the other party to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: This approach reinforces the chances of your offer being accepted in the closing negotiation in the closing negotiation.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: For example, we're gonna go back to earlier when we spoke about it seems like, it looks like, or it sounds like.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Collaboration is when you'll find the best deals.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Chris explains why using first-person pronouns, for example, I is a great strategy to avoid conflict.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: When you use this form of the pronoun, the focus is drawn back to you.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: During these conversations, you don't want to plead or appear too remorseful because the problem is the unsolvable deal.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is not you.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: By moving the focus back to discussions, you can relieve some of the burdens on them.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there are so many touching points that you can take from there, but I think some of the most important things are truly things that a lot of us already know, but things that we might not be utilizing as much as we should be.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Things like labeling, it seems like, it sounds like things like being empathetic, but not being remorseful because you are not the problem.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys had a great start to your day, a great week, and I wish you guys the best.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, Reborn Nation out.