Latest / Next Level Play Therapy: A Podcast for Play Therapy Excellence / Should Parents Participate in Play Therapy Sessions?

Transcript

Should Parents Participate in Play Therapy Sessions? · Next Level Play Therapy: A Podcast for Play Therapy Excellence

• 0:02
  Cathi Spooner: Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy.
• 0:04
  Cathi Spooner: A weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services.
• 0:14
  Cathi Spooner: We'll explore all things play therapy to elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play.
• 0:23
  Cathi Spooner: I'll discuss practical tips and ideas so you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives.
• 0:33
  Cathi Spooner: So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families.
• 0:47
  Cathi Spooner: Hey there.
• 0:48
  Cathi Spooner: Welcome to this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy, and today I wanna talk about a question that comes up all the time in the Play Therapy Circles comes up in my play therapy training.
• 1:07
  Cathi Spooner: It comes up in my consultation programs.
• 1:11
  Cathi Spooner: Play Therapy Elevation Circle is my new membership.
• 1:16
  Cathi Spooner: And then, um, my consultation program for those who really, it's typically for people who want to pursue their RPT credential, and that's Play Therapy Academy.
• 1:29
  Cathi Spooner: Not everybody in Play Therapy Academy is joining or pursuing their RPT credential.
• 1:36
  Cathi Spooner: They just want a whole lot of support.
• 1:40
  Cathi Spooner: So thi this question comes up a lot and those consultation programs.
• 1:47
  Cathi Spooner: And that is, do I or don't I include parents in play therapy sessions.
• 1:56
  Cathi Spooner: So I'm sure you've had this happen.
• 1:58
  Cathi Spooner: You have walked out to the lobby and you're client with their cute little face says to you, can my mom come?
• 2:07
  Cathi Spooner: Can my dad come in the session?
• 2:09
  Cathi Spooner: Can they come with us?
• 2:11
  Cathi Spooner: In your head, you're a split second having to make a decision.
• 2:16
  Cathi Spooner: Or maybe you've had this happen where you are meeting with parents, you're doing your diagnostic intake session, uh, session where you're gathering all the information, you're explaining about play therapy, and they look at you with a skeptical eye when you explain how you provide your play therapy services and say, well, what are you doing in there?
• 2:40
  Cathi Spooner: You mean I can't be in the session?
• 2:43
  Cathi Spooner: And then you instantly hear that kind of underlying, I'll say accusation.
• 2:52
  Cathi Spooner: I don't think it's really accusation, but I don't have a better word right now.
• 2:56
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, concern, skepticism, or.
• 3:00
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, parents heightened alarm, like, what the heck are you doing in that session?
• 3:05
  Cathi Spooner: I would say that that one doesn't happen as much as walking out to the playroom and having a parent, uh, client say, can my, can my mom come in?
• 3:14
  Cathi Spooner: Can my dad come in?
• 3:15
  Cathi Spooner: Can my brother come in?
• 3:17
  Cathi Spooner: Can my sister come in?
• 3:18
  Cathi Spooner: They want their siblings to come in.
• 3:20
  Cathi Spooner: Or maybe they, they, their little friend is coming and they're waiting out in the waiting room and they say, can my friend come in?
• 3:27
  Cathi Spooner: All the things that tend to happen when you're a play therapist.
• 3:32
  Cathi Spooner: So, so if that's happened to you, or maybe you have thought, I know parents are important and I wanna figure out how to involve them in the play therapy process.
• 3:48
  Cathi Spooner: And maybe you include them in the session and it's awkward and you're regretting your decision thinking, oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't have done that.
• 3:59
  Cathi Spooner: That one's so terrible.
• 4:04
  Cathi Spooner: Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
• 4:06
  Cathi Spooner: Usually when we talk those things through in our consultation meetings, we kind of figure out one, what was at the root of that?
• 4:16
  Cathi Spooner: What was going on, and then what do we need to do and what is that gonna look like?
• 4:20
  Cathi Spooner: And so that to me is the purpose for today's livestream episode, podcast episode.
• 4:27
  Cathi Spooner: For those of you who are listening to the audio version of this.
• 4:34
  Cathi Spooner: That's the purpose of this conversation, to kind of help you think about what needs to be considered when you're deciding yes or no to the question of are parents going to be involved in the play therapy session?
• 4:55
  Cathi Spooner: So that's what we're talking about today.
• 4:57
  Cathi Spooner: If you're joining me live, I would love to know who's here.
• 5:01
  Cathi Spooner: Um.
• 5:03
  Cathi Spooner: Say hello.
• 5:04
  Cathi Spooner: In the comments post your name, where are you from?
• 5:08
  Cathi Spooner: What population do you work with?
• 5:10
  Cathi Spooner: If you're watching on the replay, I would still love to see who's watching, say hello, what population, all the things.
• 5:21
  Cathi Spooner: If you're listening on the podcast, I would love it if you would leave a, a review if you find the episode helpful.
• 5:32
  Cathi Spooner: Then I'd love for you to leave a review.
• 5:35
  Cathi Spooner: Gives me lots of good feedback.
• 5:38
  Cathi Spooner: Also, feel free to pop over to Instagram at Renewing Hearts training.
• 5:44
  Cathi Spooner: Send me a message.
• 5:45
  Cathi Spooner: I would love to hear from you what was helpful.
• 5:48
  Cathi Spooner: What are your thoughts?
• 5:50
  Cathi Spooner: You know, how do you handle these situations?
• 5:53
  Cathi Spooner: So.
• 5:56
  Cathi Spooner: Before we do that though, I, before we jump into that, I want to, um, say something about the events of the last week.
• 6:08
  Cathi Spooner: I try to say this without crying to be actually, but I can't guarantee I'm not gonna tear up a bit.
• 6:16
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I've, I have.
• 6:20
  Cathi Spooner: I've gone back and forth in my head over the last week.
• 6:23
  Cathi Spooner: What am I gonna do today?
• 6:25
  Cathi Spooner: Am I gonna say something?
• 6:26
  Cathi Spooner: Am I not gonna say something?
• 6:28
  Cathi Spooner: I feel like in order to be in integrity, I, I need to say something that has been happening in the mental health community that has actually been breaking my heart and that is engaging in the same rhetoric of the person who murdered.
• 6:48
  Cathi Spooner: Another human being for their ideas, whether or not you agree with them or don't agree with them, I think mental health professionals need to be part of the healing process.
• 7:02
  Cathi Spooner: I don't think we need to be celebrating the death of another human being over his ideals that may not align with your political ideology.
• 7:13
  Cathi Spooner: I, I have been heartbroken by some of the comments that I have seen posted online, continuing the same rhetoric accused by a murderer.
• 7:27
  Cathi Spooner: I don't think as mental health professionals, that's who we are.
• 7:31
  Cathi Spooner: And so I, I just wanted to encourage all of us to be part of the healing.
• 7:43
  Cathi Spooner: And not engage in rhetoric that perpetuates hate.
• 7:51
  Cathi Spooner: We can have differences of opinions.
• 7:55
  Cathi Spooner: We don't have to engage in hate, so that it's been breaking my heart lately.
• 8:04
  Cathi Spooner: I wanted to give a nod out to the New York Association for Play Therapy and jody Mullen who have issued a hope challenge, being a hope detective, and that is going online and posting what things that are, give you hope, that make you look at the world and find the good.
• 8:34
  Cathi Spooner: To find the healing, find ways for us to move past I call the poison that seems to be infecting our, I would say, our profession.
• 8:51
  Cathi Spooner: So that's just all I wanted to say on that.
• 8:54
  Cathi Spooner: I, I'm gonna end with one thing.
• 8:57
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, if you're gonna call me a white supremacist, that kills me because that happened on Instagram.
• 9:07
  Cathi Spooner: If you're gonna call me a white supremacist, a white nationalist, or a racist.
• 9:11
  Cathi Spooner: Don't bother.
• 9:13
  Cathi Spooner: I will delete your comments.
• 9:15
  Cathi Spooner: You just validate my point.
• 9:18
  Cathi Spooner: I don't want you in my circles.
• 9:20
  Cathi Spooner: Please disconnect from me.
• 9:22
  Cathi Spooner: I have no tolerance for that.
• 9:25
  Cathi Spooner: You cannot call me a white supremacist or a white nationalist or a racist because I ask you to engage in healing, not hate.
• 9:37
  Cathi Spooner: It just proved my point to be completely honest.
• 9:41
  Cathi Spooner: So yes, that one hurts.
• 9:46
  Cathi Spooner: It does.
• 9:47
  Cathi Spooner: I'm human.
• 9:48
  Cathi Spooner: And to call me that vile name is unconscionable, so don't bother posting.
• 9:55
  Cathi Spooner: I'll delete it.
• 9:57
  Cathi Spooner: You'll prove my point.
• 9:59
  Cathi Spooner: I think it's time for us to be part of the change.
• 10:03
  Cathi Spooner: So that's all I'm gonna say about that.
• 10:05
  Cathi Spooner: For those of you have remained and haven't cut me out yet, I'm gonna move on to the topic that we have, which is attachment.
• 10:14
  Cathi Spooner: It's relationship, it's connection, right?
• 10:18
  Cathi Spooner: And we want to facilitate that in families.
• 10:21
  Cathi Spooner: We wanna facilitate that for our clients.
• 10:24
  Cathi Spooner: So I am going to the topic for today.
• 10:29
  Cathi Spooner: Oh, I wanted to, it's somebody posting on YouTube.
• 10:32
  Cathi Spooner: So Renee from Oklahoma welcome.
• 10:36
  Cathi Spooner: Currently working on my RPT as I work with show.
• 10:40
  Cathi Spooner: Oh, that's so awesome.
• 10:43
  Cathi Spooner: In the native community.
• 10:44
  Cathi Spooner: Sorry.
• 10:44
  Cathi Spooner: I was, I was impressed by the work that you're doing and I just think that is so awesome.
• 10:50
  Cathi Spooner: Um, thank you, Renee.
• 10:53
  Cathi Spooner: That did, that gives me hope.
• 10:56
  Cathi Spooner: 'cause what I'm finding is, as we have the courage to speak up, we're finding others like me who hate drama, who hate, hate the ickiness.
• 11:06
  Cathi Spooner: And so we tend to stay quiet.
• 11:08
  Cathi Spooner: And not say something, but Renee says, totally agree with their statement about mental health professionals to not engage in the same tone as someone with who, uh, we have differing opinions.
• 11:23
  Cathi Spooner: Yes.
• 11:24
  Cathi Spooner: Thank you for that.
• 11:25
  Cathi Spooner: Gives me hope, so being a hope detective.
• 11:28
  Cathi Spooner: Thank you, Renee.
• 11:30
  Cathi Spooner: Alrighty.
• 11:31
  Cathi Spooner: So the topic that we are discussing today is, should parents participate in play therapy sessions?
• 11:40
  Cathi Spooner: It's for those of you who have remained, oh, there's another person.
• 11:44
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, on Instagram.
• 11:45
  Cathi Spooner: I work with children and families at a homeless shelter.
• 11:49
  Cathi Spooner: That's so awesome.
• 11:51
  Cathi Spooner: I did that for a while too when I was in Virginia helping to get a play therapy program off the ground.
• 11:58
  Cathi Spooner: It, it, it was an interesting model that we ended up developing because of the nature of the, um, agency, what, you know, the, the population we were working with.
• 12:12
  Cathi Spooner: But that is awesome and doing, repairing some of that, that attachment security for children who have experienced homelessness and some of the kind of trauma that comes along with that.
• 12:30
  Cathi Spooner: I think that's awesome.
• 12:31
  Cathi Spooner: So.
• 12:32
  Cathi Spooner: Yes.
• 12:32
  Cathi Spooner: So that's what we are talking about today.
• 12:36
  Cathi Spooner: Should parents participate in play therapy sessions?
• 12:39
  Cathi Spooner: I think it's helpful to go through kind of a pros and cons when you're trying to figure out whether or not to include parents, because making a decision in the, in the, in the waiting room in a split second, based on seeing your client's cute little face and their sweet little voice, um we need to be intentional about our decision making.
• 13:07
  Cathi Spooner: And so let's first look at the benefits of including parents in play therapy sessions.
• 13:15
  Cathi Spooner: We call these the pros.
• 13:17
  Cathi Spooner: If we're doing a pros and cons list, these would be some pros to think about.
• 13:23
  Cathi Spooner: What are the benefits of including parents in the play therapy sessions and I, I would say strengthening attachment relationships, right?
• 13:34
  Cathi Spooner: To improve resiliency and self-concept to settle their little neuro systems.
• 13:42
  Cathi Spooner: Um, we know that children who have secure attachment relationships with their parents thrive.
• 13:52
  Cathi Spooner: They develop the, um, ability to tolerate distress.
• 13:58
  Cathi Spooner: They develop what I would say cons, conceptualizes, wider windows of distress tolerance.
• 14:07
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so perfect example of this would be, I can't tell you how many times over the last couple of decades.
• 14:18
  Cathi Spooner: I have found when I include parents in play therapy sessions to address pretty significant emotion dysregulation issues where the child is tantruming maybe every day, several times a day, or several times a week, several times a day they're tantruming and you know.
• 14:45
  Cathi Spooner: Throwing things, smashing of teeth, saying angry things to their parent, like, I hate you.
• 14:51
  Cathi Spooner: You're the worst mom.
• 14:53
  Cathi Spooner: You're the worst dad.
• 14:54
  Cathi Spooner: Which, you know, stick a knife in my heart when, if I'm a parent.
• 14:58
  Cathi Spooner: That's got to be a hard thing to hear.
• 15:03
  Cathi Spooner: And so parents don't know what to do.
• 15:06
  Cathi Spooner: They, and they're bringing their child who is getting in trouble at school, or maybe they're fine at school and they're not doing well at home.
• 15:14
  Cathi Spooner: Parents are feeling overwhelmed and lost, and they're worried about their child and so they are bringing them to therapy.
• 15:24
  Cathi Spooner: And I, I can't tell you how many times at some point when I begin to include parents in the play therapy sessions and we, we use my attachment focus family play therapy model.
• 15:41
  Cathi Spooner: And we work on that attachment relationship.
• 15:43
  Cathi Spooner: We help, uh, parents learn some attachment based, uh, approaches or things to do to co-regulate and, and kind of help their child down, like downregulate their, their nervous system.
• 16:08
  Cathi Spooner: Um.
• 16:09
  Cathi Spooner: It has made a huge, huge, huge difference.
• 16:15
  Cathi Spooner: So I think that's one of the, the benefits is that we can strengthen that attachment relationship, um, to help children use their parents for co-regulation.
• 16:30
  Cathi Spooner: So, KMT Webster says, I would love a resource about attachment focused.
• 16:38
  Cathi Spooner: Plan.
• 16:38
  Cathi Spooner: Oh, that's great.
• 16:39
  Cathi Spooner: Well, I stay tuned because I'll be talking about that a little bit.
• 16:43
  Cathi Spooner: Um, at the end, I have a training coming up.
• 16:46
  Cathi Spooner: It's virtual and in person about attachment focused family play therapy.
• 16:52
  Cathi Spooner: I also have a book called Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy.
• 16:58
  Cathi Spooner: This one's focused on trauma, so this one might be a good one for you because a lot of times that.
• 17:06
  Cathi Spooner: Experience of homelessness is pretty traumatic and, and I think it's pretty, um, typical to find generational histories where there's been some trauma and attachment issues in the family system.
• 17:21
  Cathi Spooner: Not always, but I think it happens a lot.
• 17:24
  Cathi Spooner: So anyways, I will talk more about that.
• 17:28
  Cathi Spooner: Another, uh, benefit of integrating parents into the play therapy session is you, I find that treatment outcomes are better and faster.
• 17:45
  Cathi Spooner: There was a study done, I think it was in the early two thousands, actually by D Ray and some other play therapists.
• 17:57
  Cathi Spooner: I, I mentioned it in my book.
• 17:59
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I, I forgot the year offhand.
• 18:03
  Cathi Spooner: Anyways, they looked at the effectiveness of play therapy and one of the things that they found in the study was when parents are involved in their child's play therapy treatment, the outcomes are better.
• 18:17
  Cathi Spooner: I would also say we can get there faster because what we're doing is we're helping parents become the therapeutic agents of change for their child, and they're gonna be in their child's life way longer than you're gonna be in their child's life.
• 18:33
  Cathi Spooner: So if we can shift those relationship interaction patterns in that family system.
• 18:42
  Cathi Spooner: I would even, I would even advocate to say that we can shift them for generations then, then that's a win-win, I think by including them in the, in the treatment process.
• 18:57
  Cathi Spooner: And I can't tell you how many times.
• 18:59
  Cathi Spooner: I've also found that at some point, especially when we're working with trauma or maybe we're working with anxiety or depression or.
• 19:09
  Cathi Spooner: Or other things that when at, at some point when I begin to integrate parents and we do my attachment focused family play therapy model, what we find is children move fast.
• 19:22
  Cathi Spooner: I find that that children move faster through the healing process because now they can use their parents.
• 19:32
  Cathi Spooner: I would say also siblings.
• 19:34
  Cathi Spooner: I have found that including siblings in the family play therapy session gives children a safety net of support when you can shift those dynamics within the family relationship.
• 19:48
  Cathi Spooner: And so that, in that way we're looking at this through that family systems lens.
• 19:54
  Cathi Spooner: I like integrating family systems and attachment theory and I, I think we create, um I.
• 20:04
  Cathi Spooner: The ability for children to get better outcomes and to heal faster.
• 20:10
  Cathi Spooner: I think I kind of also mentioned the third thing that I would say is it creates a safety net for children to be able to have resources for support throughout their life because children are gonna be part of their family system, hopefully we, we hope they stay connected and build strong support networks.
• 20:36
  Cathi Spooner: There's also research that has been shown.
• 20:40
  Cathi Spooner: I think I mentioned this one in a previous episode as well.
• 20:44
  Cathi Spooner: This might have been.
• 20:46
  Cathi Spooner: Maybe last year, I probably mentioned it in my book as well, but I can't recall it offhand right now.
• 20:53
  Cathi Spooner: Um, but there, there have been studies that have shown, um, there was one study that looked at maternal depression and the, um, resiliency support of having older siblings kind of help out and connect and be that source of support within the family system as well, and how that helped children to develop some resiliency.
• 21:24
  Cathi Spooner: So I, I think these sibling relationships are things that we often overlook and they can be really beneficial to include siblings.
• 21:37
  Cathi Spooner: It is not uncommon.
• 21:39
  Cathi Spooner: I get the whole family in there.
• 21:40
  Cathi Spooner: Um, there might be a ton of people in there, but you get to see in real time what is going on.
• 21:47
  Cathi Spooner: And I think that's the other benefit that you get to see for yourself what is going on in the sessions.
• 21:55
  Cathi Spooner: So if you have parents who say, well, I did that, it doesn't work, or You're still getting those phone calls in between the sessions of everything that's going wrong and you feel that pressure to fix it fast, and you've made the suggestions, well, I've done that.
• 22:14
  Cathi Spooner: It didn't work.
• 22:15
  Cathi Spooner: Then why don't you just get 'em all in there?
• 22:18
  Cathi Spooner: Use a plan I, and we will talk more about that.
• 22:22
  Cathi Spooner: It's, you need to have a plan, you need to use a framework.
• 22:26
  Cathi Spooner: What does your theoretical model say?
• 22:28
  Cathi Spooner: I'll go over that in some of the tips.
• 22:30
  Cathi Spooner: Um, but, you get a better sense of what is going on in that family system.
• 22:38
  Cathi Spooner: Can't tell you how many times I've had parents say, well, they, they just hit each other.
• 22:42
  Cathi Spooner: Talking about the children, the siblings, they're just saying mean things or hitting and pushing.
• 22:48
  Cathi Spooner: You know, and the, and the fear, of course, rightly so, is that pa the, the siblings are gonna hate each other and they're not gonna have relationships when they get older.
• 22:57
  Cathi Spooner: And then we get in there and we do family play therapy sessions, and I find out, well, they actually do like each other, I mean.
• 23:03
  Cathi Spooner: The other things yes, need to be addressed.
• 23:07
  Cathi Spooner: And I find out, wow, they, they really like each other.
• 23:12
  Cathi Spooner: And I see the kindness show up towards the sibling that maybe yesterday drove them bonkers and they, they weren't being so kind to each other right.
• 23:25
  Cathi Spooner: Um, but if you wanna see what is going on in real time and have a better sense.
• 23:30
  Cathi Spooner: Then including parents and I would include siblings in the sessions, will give you an idea of what is going on and how to help this client make some real progress healing.
• 23:47
  Cathi Spooner: So those are the benefits.
• 23:49
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I wanna move on to the drawbacks, or we'll call these the cons.
• 23:56
  Cathi Spooner: Of including parents in play therapy sessions.
• 24:01
  Cathi Spooner: So some, one of the, one of the drawbacks is that children don't have their own space for healing when they're struggling.
• 24:11
  Cathi Spooner: And that's, that's the benefit of individual play therapy sessions, is that you can really provide that space for the child to, to go to a deeper level of healing internally.
• 24:28
  Cathi Spooner: Right?
• 24:28
  Cathi Spooner: So that, um, intrapsychic healing to pull out one of my big fancy therapy words.
• 24:36
  Cathi Spooner: Um, the other drawback might be is that parent able to be a secure attachment figure for their child.
• 24:47
  Cathi Spooner: Here's the thing, just because a child does not want their parent in the session doesn't necessarily mean they can't be a secure attachment figure.
• 24:59
  Cathi Spooner: Just means you have some things to work through.
• 25:01
  Cathi Spooner: There are some parents though, or some adult figures or even some siblings.
• 25:08
  Cathi Spooner: That, that maybe are not able to be in the session.
• 25:14
  Cathi Spooner: Maybe there's been trauma or abuse or neglect.
• 25:19
  Cathi Spooner: Um, or maybe there's, you know, you have to work on creating a little bit of healing for the child and do some work with the parent, and then through that process you can kind of figure out is this parent able to be what the child needs in terms of developing a more secure attachment.
• 25:42
  Cathi Spooner: I would say it doesn't happen as often as play therapists think it will happen, and I will say it does happen.
• 25:51
  Cathi Spooner: So we, we have to be intentional and definitely need to think that one through about safety because you're not gonna be able to f facilitate any safety, any healing, unless there's a sense of safety in the sessions.
• 26:10
  Cathi Spooner: The other drawback might be that you don't have a framework.
• 26:15
  Cathi Spooner: Most play therapy trainings focus on the individual client for individual sessions.
• 26:26
  Cathi Spooner: And I think what I wanna challenge people is including parents in the play therapy session, isn't.
• 26:37
  Cathi Spooner: Individual therapy plus another person.
• 26:42
  Cathi Spooner: When you integrate parents or sibling and or siblings in the play therapy session, you've moved out of an individual therapy model and the, and the way in which you, um, work with children and families in a session.
• 27:01
  Cathi Spooner: You can't just use an individual lens, an individual therapy lens, you need to shift to either an attachment lens and what would that attachment lens look like?
• 27:15
  Cathi Spooner: Or using a family systems lens or like me, I use, I mold those two together and integrate those two into an attachment and family systems lens.
• 27:27
  Cathi Spooner: So you.
• 27:29
  Cathi Spooner: If you're, if you're going to include parents and or siblings in the family in the session with their child, what I would say is you need a model.
• 27:40
  Cathi Spooner: You need to have some training to, um, to, to learn a framework into the play therapy session.
• 27:52
  Cathi Spooner: Don't just include them in there and wing it and hope it goes well.
• 27:56
  Cathi Spooner: If you, maybe it'll go well.
• 27:58
  Cathi Spooner: Most of the time it does not.
• 28:01
  Cathi Spooner: I can say that from personal experience, and I can say that from talking to hundreds of play therapists.
• 28:10
  Cathi Spooner: So those are the pros and cons.
• 28:12
  Cathi Spooner: So those are the things you wanna think about if you're deciding yes or no.
• 28:17
  Cathi Spooner: Do I wanna include parents or siblings?
• 28:21
  Cathi Spooner: If you decide yes, here are some tips to think about for including parents in play therapy sessions.
• 28:30
  Cathi Spooner: First thing is get clear on the purpose for parents in the session and what you want to achieve.
• 28:38
  Cathi Spooner: I the previous two episodes, livestream episodes.
• 28:43
  Cathi Spooner: Or, or podcast if you want.
• 28:46
  Cathi Spooner: I talked a little more in depth about this, so you may wanna go back and either watch the replays.
• 28:52
  Cathi Spooner: If you're watching on YouTube, just go on my YouTube channel.
• 28:56
  Cathi Spooner: If you're watching on LinkedIn, it's probably easier to go over to my YouTube channel as well.
• 29:02
  Cathi Spooner: And that, um, Cathi Spooner renewing hearts.
• 29:06
  Cathi Spooner: Click on the live tab and you'll see all of my livestream replays on there.
• 29:12
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so you may wanna go back and, and listen to some of those.
• 29:19
  Cathi Spooner: The second tip is.
• 29:20
  Cathi Spooner: Meet with parents first.
• 29:22
  Cathi Spooner: Have some conversations.
• 29:23
  Cathi Spooner: Explain what you're gonna be doing, explain their role, explain your role, explain the purpose, explain um, how you think this will benefit their child, because that's the reason we're doing it right, is to benefit the child.
• 29:43
  Cathi Spooner: But first, explain all of that and what is that gonna look like.
• 29:46
  Cathi Spooner: And you're also gonna want to explain the model that you're using and, and what, what they're, what they're gonna be doing and what you're gonna be doing in the session.
• 29:57
  Cathi Spooner: Otherwise, it's really awkward.
• 30:00
  Cathi Spooner: Um.
• 30:02
  Cathi Spooner: They may say something, they, you might explain all of that, and they may show up in ways that don't represent their best selves when they're, when they're, uh, managers, right.
• 30:14
  Cathi Spooner: Their protectors get engaged to use an IFS terminology.
• 30:19
  Cathi Spooner: That's what we're there for, to help.
• 30:21
  Cathi Spooner: Again, you know, we're not.
• 30:23
  Cathi Spooner: So let me clarify that.
• 30:25
  Cathi Spooner: We're still mandated reporters.
• 30:28
  Cathi Spooner: We still, we, you know, if the child is not safe, we suspect abuse.
• 30:33
  Cathi Spooner: We have to report that.
• 30:35
  Cathi Spooner: Most of the times parents show up with their messy selves.
• 30:39
  Cathi Spooner: They're relying on us to help them and it we can help them.
• 30:43
  Cathi Spooner: If they trust us, we can help them facilitate that shift and use different kinds of parenting approaches, but first we need to help them understand that's the purpose of the session, they're gonna practice some skills that you're gonna be teaching them in the sessions and also outside of the play therapy sessions.
• 31:04
  Cathi Spooner: But first you have to help.
• 31:05
  Cathi Spooner: You have to help them understand all of that, and then you're gonna practice it in the sessions.
• 31:12
  Cathi Spooner: The third thing is really thinking about parents as your partner.
• 31:17
  Cathi Spooner: You want parents to see you as somebody who's gonna be supporting them and not judging them.
• 31:24
  Cathi Spooner: In order for them to feel supported and not believe you are judging them, even if you are not, they still worry about that because this is hard.
• 31:35
  Cathi Spooner: They feel like failures most of the time.
• 31:37
  Cathi Spooner: I feel like a failure sometimes as a parent.
• 31:41
  Cathi Spooner: I, I mean that's, it's hard.
• 31:43
  Cathi Spooner: Parenting is hard.
• 31:44
  Cathi Spooner: So we want to help them understand that we see them as a partner, and we want to use a model that's going to engage them as a partner, and your play therapy model is going to influence that.
• 31:59
  Cathi Spooner: The key is helping to establish that trust with parents where they see you as somebody who's there to help them so that their child can heal.
• 32:10
  Cathi Spooner: The fourth thing is you can use the play therapy sessions to teach parents skills and help to change those attachment patterns, those interaction patterns.
• 32:26
  Cathi Spooner: So what is that gonna look like depending on your play therapy model that might look different ways.
• 32:35
  Cathi Spooner: If you are using Gestalt play therapy, that model allows for looking at the child in context, and you can use Gestalt play therapy for integrating parents and siblings in the play therapy session.
• 32:52
  Cathi Spooner: I would say that's true also for Adlerian Play therapy.
• 32:56
  Cathi Spooner: If you're using Thera Play, then you're just gonna be having the one parent in there, so it might look a little bit different.
• 33:05
  Cathi Spooner: All of those models though, you're gonna be helping parents to strengthen their relationship with their child.
• 33:13
  Cathi Spooner: And you're probably also teaching some skills to parents and helping parents teach skills to their child that can be used outside of the play therapy session.
• 33:25
  Cathi Spooner: And then the final tip is, um, your play therapy model is your theoretical GPS system, so to speak.
• 33:35
  Cathi Spooner: Your play therapy model is what, um, influences how you conceptualize the problem.
• 33:45
  Cathi Spooner: So what are you seeing at the root of the problem that's causing this to continue and what are the patterns going on?
• 33:54
  Cathi Spooner: Your play therapy model is gonna influence how you how you conceptualize that.
• 34:01
  Cathi Spooner: And then also it's gonna show you what to do.
• 34:03
  Cathi Spooner: Your play therapy model is going to show you in each stage of play therapy, what's your role?
• 34:11
  Cathi Spooner: What's parents' role?
• 34:12
  Cathi Spooner: What are you accomplishing in each stage?
• 34:14
  Cathi Spooner: What does that look like?
• 34:15
  Cathi Spooner: So that when you're choosing the play therapy strategies and activities of what you're going to be doing in the session, you're gonna be aligning that with your play therapy model, and you're gonna be thinking about what activity you're gonna do in what stage of the play therapy process.
• 34:36
  Cathi Spooner: So you wanna have a play therapy model that is gonna guide you in how you are integrating parents.
• 34:46
  Cathi Spooner: And I would even say, um, siblings in play therapy sessions.
• 34:52
  Cathi Spooner: So that is it for today.
• 34:55
  Cathi Spooner: Let me do a quick recap and, and basically the recap is.
• 35:00
  Cathi Spooner: If you are thinking about are you gonna include parents or not include parents, or I would even say siblings in play therapy sessions, then it's really important to be intentional about the process, being clear about why parents or siblings are in that session.
• 35:23
  Cathi Spooner: What is it you hope to accomplish?
• 35:25
  Cathi Spooner: What are you working on?
• 35:26
  Cathi Spooner: What is their role?
• 35:27
  Cathi Spooner: What is your role?
• 35:28
  Cathi Spooner: All the things, and you're gonna go through that kind of pros and cons process to help you decide whether or not to include parents or family members in the play therapy sessions and, and who and what is that gonna look like.
• 35:47
  Cathi Spooner: And then also when, if you've decided to include parents or siblings in the play therapy sessions, be clear about those expectations, roles, and aligning their involvement with your play therapy model.
• 36:04
  Cathi Spooner: So, um, KMT Webster says, how can we contact you via email?
• 36:11
  Cathi Spooner: I'd love to reach out and learn more about future trainings.
• 36:15
  Cathi Spooner: Well, thank you for that awesome segue.
• 36:17
  Cathi Spooner: 'cause I am about to say that.
• 36:19
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so if you're interested in the training.
• 36:25
  Cathi Spooner: Pop over to my website.
• 36:27
  Cathi Spooner: There's other resources on there as well.
• 36:29
  Cathi Spooner: Other information.
• 36:30
  Cathi Spooner: I have some other trainings on there as well.
• 36:31
  Cathi Spooner: If you're interested, um, pop over to my website at rh play therapy training.com.
• 36:39
  Cathi Spooner: That's RH play therapy training.com.
• 36:43
  Cathi Spooner: It's renewing hearts play therapy training.
• 36:46
  Cathi Spooner: Um, you can look on the training page right now.
• 36:50
  Cathi Spooner: I, I have a training coming up called Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy.
• 36:56
  Cathi Spooner: It's a, it's either, you can either attend virtually or in person.
• 37:01
  Cathi Spooner: It'll be in beautiful St. George, Utah.
• 37:05
  Cathi Spooner: Um, it's November 8th and it's a Saturday and it's um, I
• 37:11
  think it's 9: 00 AM to four 30.
• 37:14
  think it's 9: PM Mountain Time, 'cause Utah's in Mountain Time.
• 37:18
  think it's 9: If you're interested, the link will post the link in the comments, but you, if you're on Instagram, you can click on my bio.
• 37:27
  think it's 9: Should be a link in there as well.
• 37:29
  think it's 9: Or you can pop over to my website.
• 37:32
  think it's 9: Um, so if you're interested in play therapy, I mean, uh.
• 37:38
  think it's 9: Attachment focused family play therapy.
• 37:42
  think it's 9: Um, registration is open now.
• 37:44
  think it's 9: There you can take advantage of the early bird pricing.
• 37:48
  think it's 9: We just opened registration this week.
• 37:51
  think it's 9: Also, um, it, if you're interested, 'cause I always think it's awesome that we take trainings.
• 37:59
  think it's 9: I think it's awesome to have a community of play therapists that we can meet with and connect with to help us apply those skills.
• 38:08
  think it's 9: I, I Play Therapy.
• 38:10
  think it's 9: Elevation Circle is my new membership that I created for people who really wanna connect and get support.
• 38:20
  think it's 9: So we take the trainings.
• 38:22
  think it's 9: I definitely think we need the trainings.
• 38:24
  think it's 9: I also think it's really helpful to have a community to help us apply those.
• 38:29
  think it's 9: Right now, if you wanna get on the wait list for Play Therapy Elevation Circle, then you can pop over to my website as well.
• 38:39
  think it's 9: Click on the link to to get onto the wait list.
• 38:44
  think it's 9: Um, I closed it off.
• 38:45
  think it's 9: We're gonna be changing over to a new platform that's gonna allow a lot more inter interaction.
• 38:52
  think it's 9: So when I reopen enrollment, um, in January, I'll open it back up.
• 38:58
  think it's 9: Then it'll be on our new platform and people will be able to connect more so.
• 39:04
  think it's 9: So that's it for today.
• 39:07
  think it's 9: I have a great day, um, and I will see you next week.
• 39:13
  think it's 9: Bye for now.
• 39:22
  think it's 9: Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy.
• 39:27
  think it's 9: I hope you found the discussion valuable and gained new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families feel.
• 39:36
  think it's 9: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review.
• 39:41
  think it's 9: Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information.
• 39:47
  think it's 9: Remember.
• 39:48
  think it's 9: Play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
• 39:52
  think it's 9: Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work in relationships.
• 40:03
  think it's 9: If you have any questions or topics, suggestions for future.
• 40:08
  think it's 9: I'd love to hear from you.
• 40:10
  think it's 9: Connect with me on social media and visit my website at Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources.
• 40:23
  think it's 9: Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy.
• 40:26
  think it's 9: Until next time, keep playing, learning and growing.