Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 91. Feeling off? Use this 8-part check-in to realign your life
Transcript
- 0:02You're listening to the All Figured Out podcast.
- 0:04I'm your host, Andrea Barr. I'm a career coach for parents,
- 0:09mom of two, and a self-proclaimed expert at
- 0:12winging it. After 10 years in the corporate
- 0:15world, two major career pivots, and navigating life with kids,
- 0:18I've learned one thing. No parent has it all figured
- 0:21out, and that's OK. Here, we're all about growing
- 0:25personally and professionally while keeping family time
- 0:28sacred. You'll get practical tips,
- 0:30career strategies and musings on life, plus guest experts to help
- 0:34us fill in the gaps. So grab a coffee or hide in your
- 0:37car for some knee time. We're about to figure out this
- 0:40worked life and parenting stuff out together.
- 0:45Welcome back to the All Figured Out podcast.
- 0:47My name is Andrea Barr. I am your host.
- 0:50And today we have a solo episode, one of the first solo
- 0:55episodes I've done in a long time.
- 0:58I didn't actually look up when the last one was.
- 1:00They did, but it feels exciting, kind of weird to be back on the
- 1:05mic, just me, my voice and I I have so much respect for the
- 1:10hosts who do this as their full time show.
- 1:13It is, yeah. It's kind of strange.
- 1:16It's nerve wracking to talk to yourself, to talk into a mic,
- 1:19into the ears of whoever is listening.
- 1:21But it is. Yeah.
- 1:23It's fun to do this. I personally like listening to
- 1:25solo episodes and hearing the hosts of the shows that I love.
- 1:29So you know what, we're trying something out.
- 1:31So if you enjoy this format, if you're digging this, just send
- 1:34me a message, let me know what you think, what kind of segments
- 1:38you'd want to hear about, what kind of topics.
- 1:41Let's make this together, shall we?
- 1:43So a little update on the personal front.
- 1:47We are, it is the end of June already.
- 1:50It is the summer solstice tomorrow.
- 1:53Today at the time of recording is June 19th.
- 1:56And it's it's a weird one. I remember having a conversation
- 2:00with my girlfriend Joe a couple years ago and we were talking
- 2:04about the feeling of the summer solstice or the winter solstice
- 2:07coming up and how it really evokes like big feels for some
- 2:12of us. I remember I think she was
- 2:13saying her mom kind of gets this as well.
- 2:15And I am such a winter solstice person.
- 2:18Hell, I even did like an episode on the winter solstice with
- 2:21Chantelle Russell as one of my very first episodes because it's
- 2:24like one of my favorite days of the year.
- 2:26You're everything is just on the app.
- 2:29As someone who values like growth and forward movement and
- 2:33newness and change and all that, I, yeah, I just love the winter
- 2:39solstice because it means that the days are about to get
- 2:41lighter. And coming upon the summer
- 2:44solstice is such, I find it's a weird one because tomorrow is
- 2:48going to be the longest day of the year, which is so cool,
- 2:52something to celebrate. And at the same time, it means
- 2:56that the days will only be getting shorter, which makes me
- 3:01feel kind of weird. And I don't know if you relate
- 3:04to this, let me know. I yeah, I've got feelings about
- 3:07it. But then again, we still have
- 3:09the whole summer ahead of us. So that's, I think the weird
- 3:11part as well is that we've got the summer to look forward to.
- 3:14We've got beautiful weather ahead.
- 3:17It's already getting beautiful here in Vancouver.
- 3:19And, and yeah, so it's a, it's a strange one, but you know what?
- 3:24Cycle seasons, they're all good, right?
- 3:26They're all good. It's important to remember that
- 3:30it's good to kind of get the hype of summer.
- 3:33It's good to have the coziness of the fall and the winter.
- 3:36Can't even believe I'm saying the words fall and winter.
- 3:38So I don't know. Let me know.
- 3:40Let me know if you agree with this.
- 3:42We are in one of our final years as a family of not entering the
- 3:49summer as this, like, pivotal change for our family dynamic.
- 3:53I've been having conversations with, you know, new clients or
- 3:55people have been meeting through the podcast this week and
- 3:57they're like, oh, so, you know, do you have kids in school?
- 3:59They're going to be off school soon.
- 4:01And I'm like, no. And someone said today said
- 4:04like, oh, so like status quo. I was like, yeah, status quo.
- 4:09And I also have big feelings about that.
- 4:11I think I've just summoned a big feeling face today.
- 4:14I've got kind of feelings about the fact that damn got
- 4:19kindergarten coming in a year. So we're not my daughter.
- 4:23My older daughter is not going to be going to school in
- 4:26September. She's going to school in the
- 4:27following year because here in BC they start at 5:00.
- 4:30And so we've got kind of one more year of this like Footloose
- 4:34and fancy free. And the feeling I have about
- 4:37this is that it's like the year before you decide to start
- 4:42trying to have children. That's how I feel right now
- 4:45where we're like, we can travel whenever we want.
- 4:49There's no pulling kids out of school.
- 4:51There's no like thinking about the schedule and what I've
- 4:54shared this fear with moms in my life who are have come before
- 4:58me, who are ahead of me by a couple of years.
- 5:00They're like even teachers. I've got friends who are
- 5:02teachers. Like it doesn't matter.
- 5:05My girlfriend Sarah, she was saying she's a teacher and she's
- 5:08like, it doesn't like you can't fail kids for keeping them out
- 5:12of school. If you my girlfriend Sarah was
- 5:18saying, you know, don't worry, like it's not like they're your
- 5:21kids are going to fail if you take them out of school.
- 5:23So that did make me feel better. Like if you were to take your
- 5:26kids out of school for a couple weeks to go on a vacation, it's
- 5:28not the end of the world, but still, it feels like this thing.
- 5:32And so that's where I'm at this week, the solstice things, the
- 5:36one more year school things like I'm just feeling in my feels.
- 5:40And I've got a a counseling session coming up soon to maybe
- 5:44I'll talk about all these big fields.
- 5:45And yeah. So for today's show, I want to
- 5:49get into something that's that's quite quite present, quite on
- 5:54the mind for myself. Of course, as always, I am a
- 5:57working parent just like you, but also a lot of clients that
- 6:00I'm working with right now. So I want to talk to you just
- 6:05about that thing that doesn't always have a word when
- 6:09something feels off or someone feels stuck or like, you know,
- 6:15often that feeling of stickiness or, or whatever it is comes with
- 6:20more of a noise than a word. That's what I've noticed.
- 6:24And for me as well, if I'm trying to describe to my husband
- 6:26how I'm feeling about something, oftentimes when it's this
- 6:30particular feeling, it's like a noise that I make, like versus
- 6:36word and eloquent word. And it's something that just
- 6:40like I said, it's a sense that something's off.
- 6:43That you're doing all the things, the work, the school
- 6:46drop offs, the bedtime routines, career moves, self-care when you
- 6:51can fit it in because you're doing your calendar planning on
- 6:54Sundays. But something just still doesn't
- 6:57feel right. And you might be from the
- 7:00outside looking like you've got your shit together, like you've
- 7:03got it all figured out. But on the inside, you feel
- 7:05maybe a bit scattered. Some of the symptoms could be
- 7:08feeling like you're stretched thin, you're disconnected from,
- 7:12you know, people in your life, or you feel like you're
- 7:14disconnected from yourself. And you're kind of in that
- 7:16moment where you're like, OK, I didn't know who I was.
- 7:19It's not like I've never not known who I was.
- 7:21But in this moment, it's like, I don't know who I am right now.
- 7:25And that is what I call misalignment, Misalignment for
- 7:30parents. It doesn't always have to be
- 7:32this big dramatic thing. Like it doesn't have to be that
- 7:34thing that you're like, whoa, you need counseling for that.
- 7:37You probably do, but you don't. It's not this like this is a
- 7:41really big emergency for the ER type thing, right?
- 7:44Like it's like this niggle, like this little stump, it's the
- 7:47noise, it's the and a few ways again, it can show up is like
- 7:52you're exhausted, even though you are technically resting.
- 7:55You're going to yoga once a week.
- 7:57You have date nights. Like you've got the things in
- 8:00place or your second guessing your choices all the time.
- 8:03Like you make a decision, you and your partner, like Kate,
- 8:05this is the decision. This is the school you want to
- 8:07send our kids to. But then you're like kind of
- 8:09second guessing things or you feel like you're two different
- 8:13people, one at work, one at home, or you're feeling like
- 8:17you're really busy. Like I'm, I'm busy doing all the
- 8:19things on the outside. It looks like I've got a really
- 8:22cool, really inspiring, really fun job.
- 8:25I have a beautiful family. But why am I not feeling that
- 8:29huge sense of fulfillment that I feel like I should feel?
- 8:32And you're just living in response mode every day, all
- 8:35day. And you're just constantly
- 8:36feeling like you're putting out fires instead of, you know,
- 8:39moving forward with like clarity, purpose and alignment.
- 8:43So that is often what I see as the biggest call for shift or
- 8:49change. Something's gotta change because
- 8:52there's some kind of misalignment now.
- 8:55I feel like I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the fact that
- 8:58alignment is in a state in which we we stay in 24/7.
- 9:04But I really do believe, and I've felt this in my own life,
- 9:09that you can be in alignment in most areas most of the time.
- 9:15Like maybe we can do an 8020 a Pareto's principle here and be
- 9:18like, you should feel alignment with the different areas and
- 9:21different phases and different sectors of your life most of the
- 9:24time. But if everything feels like at
- 9:27the outset of the week, it's already misaligned, like your
- 9:31self-care is already conflicting with your work, which is already
- 9:34conflicting with your parenting, Then yeah, you've got we've got
- 9:37a problem or not a problem. We've got an opportunity to find
- 9:41and refind alignment. And if you're watching this on
- 9:43YouTube, you're watching me take my fingers and kind of fit them
- 9:46in like puzzle pieces. And so why does this happen?
- 9:49Well, of course we know that, you know, modern parenting can
- 9:53be a lot like a lot of us, like I always say, have been
- 9:56extremely ambitious, really high performing individuals in our
- 10:00past lives and in our careers that we've worked really hard to
- 10:03build. And we become parents and we're
- 10:06so proud of that phase. But it feels like we're two
- 10:08different people. We're living in two different
- 10:10worlds and we have really big goals, not just at work, not
- 10:14just with parenting, but in our relationships, with our health,
- 10:18with our creative dreams. You might be one of those people
- 10:20that's got a notes app on your phone with all of the inventions
- 10:22or all the companies and all the things you want to start.
- 10:25And it's so hard to not sit in survival mode.
- 10:29I've had therapists before who have shared with me your
- 10:32counselors or different, you know, thinkers who have said,
- 10:35you know, our, our brain and our body really can't tell the
- 10:38difference between types of stress.
- 10:39So it also like I am a really excitable person.
- 10:43I get so excited by a lot of things.
- 10:45I've always been that kid that like has something to look
- 10:47forward to. And that's what I go to sleep at
- 10:49night thinking about because I love to fall asleep with a happy
- 10:53thought. Like I'm very excitable.
- 10:55I love looking forward. I'm a very forward looker as
- 10:58well. However, when we're doing a lot
- 11:01of things and we're doing a lot of things that excite us, like
- 11:03for me it would be like podcasting when I did my day, my
- 11:05couple days like in person doing podcast recordings with guests
- 11:08like that lit me up. However, our body doesn't
- 11:12recognize the difference between actual stress bear coming at you
- 11:17or excitable stress. Like it's still kind of can be a
- 11:20form of stress, even if provides fulfillment.
- 11:23And so unfortunately, no one teaches us in school how to
- 11:27recalibrate when life is throwing excitement and
- 11:30stressors and just everyday things.
- 11:32And then again, you become a parent and everything changes
- 11:34once again. Your energy changes, your
- 11:37identity changes, your body changes, your priorities change,
- 11:40your relationships change. And if you don't pause to
- 11:44reflect and really realign and really look at what might be
- 11:48misaligned and how can you maybe realign, then you end up losing
- 11:52yourself in the process. And you're kind of walking
- 11:54through life just saying, well, it's a vase.
- 11:57And you know, we'll just, we'll see, see you in 18 years, which
- 12:01is just no way to live. And I don't want you to live
- 12:04that way. So I in my work for the past
- 12:07seven years as a coach, I have noticed and working with
- 12:10hundreds of high performing professionals, I have noticed a
- 12:14lot of trends. Like there is, you know, we all
- 12:16kind of it's, it's to say no two people have the same story
- 12:19history, of course, but there's a lot of really repeatable
- 12:21patterns and I do them myself. I'm not above this.
- 12:24And what I've realized, especially since working with
- 12:27parents and really niching down into that space and supporting
- 12:30parents, moms, dads, caregivers, is there are 8 very defined
- 12:36spaces in which a person can feel aligned or misaligned.
- 12:40And they make up what I call the Figure 8 alignment tool.
- 12:44And it is a tool where you can think of a Figure 8 because it
- 12:47is never ending. It is never.
- 12:49It's not something that you fill up the cup in each of these
- 12:51eight areas and boom, you're good to go.
- 12:53But really what it is, is it's an Infinity.
- 12:55It's a process of constantly moving through phases and tools
- 12:58and tips and tricks to continue to fill up and find alignment
- 13:03between these eight areas, these 8 aspects of your life that I'll
- 13:06walk you through. This is not a productivity hack.
- 13:09This isn't a system for trying to fit more into your day
- 13:12because to be honest, you probably need to like remove
- 13:14some stuff from your day. We all do.
- 13:16But what this is instead is it's a tool.
- 13:18It's an alignment tool to have you check in with yourself and
- 13:23to find ways that some of those puzzle pieces aren't quite
- 13:26fitting and to, you know, rejig them a little bit so that you
- 13:29can put them in place. So this tool walks you through
- 13:32the eight key areas of your personal and professional life.
- 13:35It gives you a way to reflect on what's working, what's feeling
- 13:38off, where you need more attention, energy, support.
- 13:41And it's not going to add to your To Do List.
- 13:43If anything, it's just going to highlight the areas of where you
- 13:45could be spending your energy first.
- 13:48So without further ado, let's get into it.
- 13:51So section one, I've kind of also split it up into two areas.
- 13:55So if you picture a Figure 8, if you picture an Infinity symbol,
- 13:58there's two sides to that. So side #1 would be the personal
- 14:01loop. You always got to start with
- 14:03yourself. We know oxygen mask person
- 14:05before the baby, all that. We know that.
- 14:07And so number one of the Figure 8 alignment tool is energy in my
- 14:11body. So this is the perfect place to
- 14:13start. This is physical, it's visceral.
- 14:15It's like you can touch yourself.
- 14:17Do I have a scrap or scrape? Do I have a headache?
- 14:20Like what does my body doing? Do I have, you know, scaly skin
- 14:23that needs to be addressed? Do I feel rested, nourished
- 14:26physically? Well, this is the baseline is of
- 14:29course where it all starts. We're talking things like sleep,
- 14:31hydration, food that fuels us and really checking in to see
- 14:35where we at and how is my body feeling.
- 14:37And this, I've got to say, this is one of those ones where it's,
- 14:40it's like, do you have outstanding doctor's
- 14:43appointments? Like these are some of the, I
- 14:45know these are annoying things, but your physical health is of
- 14:48course paramount. Without the physical body, the
- 14:51mind camp thrive. We're not around.
- 14:54We're not human beings on earth without the physical form.
- 14:56So we got to take care of it #2 is clarity in my mind and
- 15:02spirit. This is one that when I started
- 15:05coaching and I, you know, would be taking people through kind of
- 15:08like mind, body, spirit, that type of stuff.
- 15:11I wouldn't have phrased it like this before, but this is
- 15:13something that's really come out with working with parents
- 15:15especially. It's clarity in my mind and
- 15:18clarity in my spirit. Do I feel like I have a
- 15:22groundedness about me? Do I feel focused?
- 15:25I feel emotionally clear and available to be with other
- 15:28people. And from a spirit perspective,
- 15:30insert whatever word you want, whether that's God, you know,
- 15:33religion, spirituality. But do you feel like there's
- 15:36just the sense of flow and ease as it relates to how you connect
- 15:40to something bigger than yourself?
- 15:43And there's a lot in this one that like in the physical world,
- 15:47not just conceptually. Like this is these are the
- 15:49mental todos. I was on a podcast recently with
- 15:52my new friend Fiona Walsh on her Limitless podcast, and we were
- 15:55talking about them, the mental load or the mother load.
- 15:58And we were just talking about like, at its core, what it is,
- 16:02is it's the To Do List items that you never actually write
- 16:05down on a piece of paper. Sure, there's like the actual To
- 16:07Do List, but it's a lot of stuff that you're worrying about
- 16:10thinking about that's really clogging up a lot of space in
- 16:13your head. And so when there's misalignment
- 16:15here, it can really show up as feeling foggy, feeling
- 16:18scattered, like there's so much to think about, there's so much
- 16:20to do. And I know this is a huge one,
- 16:23especially for parents #3 is ownership of my time.
- 16:28Do I feel control over how I spend my days?
- 16:31This is, I'm probably going to say this about every single one
- 16:34that I walk you through, but this is such a big one.
- 16:38Do I feel ownership over my time?
- 16:40And who and how am I giving my time?
- 16:42Who am I giving my time to and how am I giving it?
- 16:45Am I letting people take it? Am I not creating boundaries so
- 16:48that my time is in control, like I am in control of my time?
- 16:52I am the owner of my time. These are these are the most
- 16:56important things to think about and ask yourself.
- 16:58Are you the one setting the pace of your life?
- 17:00If you feel like things are very go, go, go, go, go.
- 17:02Oh my goodness, you've got all these activities after school
- 17:05things. What do you have control over in
- 17:07that? I know that you want to, you
- 17:08know, please your family and your kids and they're excited
- 17:11about all these supports, but is it working?
- 17:13Is the system and like where you're the one driving them, is
- 17:16that working? Do you have control over your
- 17:18time? Are you giving it or are you
- 17:19letting people take it? Or is it just not even a thing?
- 17:23It's just giving, giving, giving, giving, giving.
- 17:26And it's, you're not even thinking about it.
- 17:29And so as I say that this is about time freedom, It's it's
- 17:33not about time management, it's about really deciding how you
- 17:36want to have a relationship with time and not just managing it.
- 17:42You know, first, like, I know this sounds a little woo woo and
- 17:45silly, but, but really it's, it's time freedom over time
- 17:48management. It's not putting building blocks
- 17:51in your calendar that is so important, but that comes after.
- 17:53It's like, really it's healing your relationship with time so
- 17:57that you can then say to yourself, it's my time, It's my
- 18:00choice. This is my life and how do I
- 18:02want to spend it? How is my timer reflection of my
- 18:05values? OK #4 is the last one of the
- 18:09first side of the Figure 8? And it is moments of joy and
- 18:12expression. So I think this is such a fun
- 18:15one because I actually did a podcast episode on hobbies way
- 18:18back when as well. I'll put all of these in the
- 18:20show notes. But the hobbies episode was
- 18:22really sparked because I was talking to a lot of clients at
- 18:25that point in time and I still do who were saying I don't know
- 18:29what my hobbies and interests are anymore.
- 18:32I used to do pottery, but a pottery class is like 3 to 4
- 18:35hours. And to be honest, like I'm
- 18:36pretty tired by 8:00 PM so I don't want to stay out at
- 18:39pottery till 9. Or, you know, we used to do like
- 18:43Iron Man's, but I, I just don't have that drive anymore.
- 18:46Like I, I want to stay active and I want it, but I don't want
- 18:49to commit that time. And I just, I think I should
- 18:52pause to say that that is OK. Like you're allowed to change
- 18:55what your hobbies and interests are.
- 18:56You're allowed to change how you create and build joint
- 19:00expression in your life. So some of the questions you can
- 19:03ask yourself here to see like am I in alignment with moments of
- 19:06joy and expression? You could ask yourself, am I
- 19:08laughing? Am I playing, am I creating?
- 19:11Am I expressing myself regularly?
- 19:13And this is something that I used to do when we were younger,
- 19:16my mom would sometimes say like, go go do a craft or something,
- 19:20Go do something with your hands. Because, and I heard a quote
- 19:22recently that was something to the effect of like when your
- 19:25mind is busy, get your hands busy.
- 19:26I think it was Reese Witherspoon saying that's what her, you
- 19:29know, grandma said. And it's so true.
- 19:31Like your joy and your creativity, they're not, it's
- 19:34not luxury. It's kind of like for a lot of
- 19:35people who say like working out and moving your body and your
- 19:38physical health, it's paramount. And same with your joint
- 19:41expression. If you're not having fun and
- 19:43creating joy in your life, what's it all about?
- 19:45And the relational and professional loop, So your
- 19:48connections and contribution #5 connection with my kids, I
- 19:54separated this one out from just family in general because
- 19:57there's definitely a different type of relationship, obviously
- 20:00between your, you know, your relationship that you have
- 20:04outside of the home relationship you have with a partner
- 20:06relationship. You have three kids.
- 20:07And so I've started noticing that in sessions, there might be
- 20:10alignment in some areas, like feeling really attuned, really
- 20:13connected with your kids. And maybe there's some
- 20:15misalignment with your partnership or vice versa.
- 20:17And so are we attuned? Are we present?
- 20:20Are we enjoying one another? Is there some of the questions
- 20:23you can ask in this regard? And it's not about being a
- 20:25perfect parent by any means. It's just about being with them.
- 20:29And as you can probably start to see in this figure out alignment
- 20:33tool, Figure 8 alignment tool, everything is connected.
- 20:37So if you're feeling like you have a lack of ownership over
- 20:39your time and we're going to pull in work soon, do you feel
- 20:41like that there's a lack of enjoyment or you're just giving
- 20:45it all at work and there's nothing left?
- 20:47This is this is how we start to see misalignments happening.
- 20:50And so it's not always necessarily fixing the
- 20:53connection with your kids by making the conditions around
- 20:57this Figure 8 so that you can have and be more present and
- 21:01show up more like the person that you are and the person that
- 21:04you want to be for your children.
- 21:07Number six is closeness in my relationship at home.
- 21:11So this is with a partner, but I use in the home because perhaps
- 21:15you live with your parents or you have a roommate or something
- 21:18like that. So you know, whatever
- 21:20partnership looks like for you and do you feel seen?
- 21:23Do you feel supported? And do you feel connected to to
- 21:26your partnership and your partnership?
- 21:28And this could also be if it's a business partner, but it's
- 21:31really important to really evaluate this one as a separate
- 21:34entity, like I said, and #7 is quality of relationships outside
- 21:39of your home. So this is, am I maintaining
- 21:42meaningful friendships and community?
- 21:44We know through a lot of research that's coming out
- 21:48around longevity, the Blue Zones, the Centurions,
- 21:52Centurions, I think that's what they're called, the people live
- 21:54to be 100 plus. It's, it's all about community.
- 21:59I mean, it's yes, it's about putting decent food in your
- 22:02body, getting sleeping water and all that like that.
- 22:04Those are table stakes for sure. But they're really noticing that
- 22:08it is community based tribes and groups of people who are living
- 22:13the longest because they have connection.
- 22:16So this is friendships. These are people who might be in
- 22:19your neighborhood. These could be family members,
- 22:23your chosen family, whatever it is, whatever that means to you.
- 22:26And are you reaching out? Are you reaching, being reached
- 22:30out too? Are you feeling part of
- 22:32something bigger? This is all really, really hard
- 22:35one, It's a really tricky one when your kids are young.
- 22:37I, I'm finding it, I live away from a lot of friends and family
- 22:40and it's definitely, it's a hard one for me because at the end of
- 22:44the day, when I'm super tired and I'm trying to give, you
- 22:47know, be present with my kids, be present with my partner to
- 22:49hear about his day and what's going on for him and, and build
- 22:53that relationship and stoke that relationship, if you will.
- 22:58And then I'm coaching all day or I'm doing podcasts.
- 23:01Like, I personally find this one to be really challenging because
- 23:05it's like another, you know, it's another expenditure of
- 23:08information and I get a lot from it.
- 23:10And I find that sometimes I just need quiet, you know, I don't
- 23:13want to talk about me myself. So I end up, you know, getting
- 23:19on calls and I'm just peppering the person with questions And I
- 23:21realize I'm not building their closest to me because I'm not
- 23:24the one who's necessarily, you know, rehashing what's going on
- 23:28for me, because I feel like I've just been living it.
- 23:30I've been doing it and and it takes a lot of energy.
- 23:34So it's a hard one. And it's a hard one when you're
- 23:36not necessarily living in the same neighborhood.
- 23:39I find we connect a lot and we're spend a lot of time with
- 23:42the people who are truly just down the street from us because
- 23:46they're a they're wonderful people And there's just ease and
- 23:49just not having to make a plan rocking up onto the street and
- 23:53the kids are playing. So that is that's a big one.
- 23:56But the quality of relationships outside of your home, where are
- 23:58you feel in community and that could be in work as well.
- 24:02So that brings us to #8 on the Figure 8 alignment tool.
- 24:07And that is fulfillment in my work.
- 24:11This is a hard one. And this is of course very much
- 24:14related to the work that I do as a career coach for parents.
- 24:17But the question to can be asking yourself here are am I
- 24:20being challenged? Am I valued?
- 24:23Do I feel alignment in my career and ambition and how it aligns
- 24:29in the bigger puzzle of the rest of this Figure 8, which my
- 24:34family with my clarity, with my enjoyment ease, like all the
- 24:39different aspects that we just talked about.
- 24:41And it doesn't mean loving every moment of your job.
- 24:44It just means asking, is this the path that is supporting a,
- 24:48you know, the life that I want? Am I growing?
- 24:51That's a big one. I hear from people.
- 24:53Am I do I feel seen? Do I feel heard?
- 24:56Do I feel understood? Are you doing work that reflects
- 24:59who you actually are or are you just checking the box?
- 25:02I had a an intercall with somebody today and, you know,
- 25:05she was saying, wow, I just don't know.
- 25:08It's funny to think about how I got here.
- 25:09You know, it was just kind of one of those maybe I should do
- 25:12this job. And now she's in the job.
- 25:14She's been in the job for a long time.
- 25:16And that happens to so many of us.
- 25:18We just were checking boxes. OK, I should, maybe I should go
- 25:20to university, college, whatever.
- 25:22Check. OK.
- 25:23I was really good at stuff at maths.
- 25:25I'm going to go into something, you know, related to that check.
- 25:27I'm in finance. Boom.
- 25:28And all of a sudden you're, you know, the manager of a hedge
- 25:31fund. You're like, wait, how did I get
- 25:32here? And maybe it was through a bunch
- 25:34of box checking. And that's OK, That's part of
- 25:37your story. There's no looking back.
- 25:38There's no regrets. But what you can do about it
- 25:41now, does it still fit? Are you still aligned or you
- 25:43passionate about it? And if not, and if it feels
- 25:46misaligned, then that's an area that you can start to look at
- 25:50the bigger picture of the rest of the Figure 8 and think, OK,
- 25:54what am I going to do about this?
- 25:55To do other things in the in the Figure 8 have to change or is
- 25:58this the thing that I want to change?
- 26:01So there you have it. There is the Figure 8 alignment
- 26:04tool. I hope that you are taking a lot
- 26:07away from that. If you would like to learn more
- 26:11about this and if you want to just look at this as you know
- 26:15written down, I will have it in the show notes.
- 26:17Show notes on this podcast are blog posts so kind of confusing
- 26:21when you go into the podcast app, that's the description of
- 26:23the episode. You can click in there and click
- 26:25show notes here. And when you take, when you take
- 26:29that link into the interwebs, then what you will and is a blog
- 26:32post on my website where I put all the notes for all the shows
- 26:35because I don't want you to have to take notes because you're
- 26:38probably cooking dinner, you're probably walking or driving
- 26:41somewhere. So head to the show notes on my
- 26:44website, on the blog to kind of get a recap of this episode.
- 26:48And I will see you again next week.
- 26:53Thank you so much for listening. And since you made it this far,
- 26:56please share this episode with a fellow parent who you love,
- 26:59respect, and want to support. And while you're at it, hit me
- 27:03up on Instagram at All Figured Out.
- 27:05Andrea, I would love to meet you and hear what you are trying to
- 27:08figure out these days.