Latest / FOLLOW / How do you keep going when you can’t control the outcome? /// FOLLOW with Jeremy Lewis

Transcript

How do you keep going when you can’t control the outcome? /// FOLLOW with Jeremy Lewis · FOLLOW

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: I just remember thinking back to that first night in the hospital when Elsie's in the ICU and uh Amanda, who had an emergency C-section, isn't able to be down in the room with her.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: And she's in her own room recovering and going up into that room.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: And Amanda and I just sitting and crying together and reading through Psalms 23.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Scripture became real when you're sitting in the hospital going, I don't I don't know how many more days I might have with my kid.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: There's lots of situations in our lives where we can't control outcomes.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: You are literally out of control.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: And yet, when I hear you talk about it, there's something in the process of a posture of, but I am gonna be faithful.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show up in these spaces in very specific ways, and I'm not gonna try to control the outcome.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Follow Podcast, a podcast that believes at its core, the single most important oriented belief that if Jesus is right about God and life and the human soul, then it would make sense that we rearrange our lives around what he says is true.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what we're exploring.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: All that Jesus said was true, and how to rearrange our lives around it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I came across this phrase this week, Carter.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think it's British in origin, British.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you ever heard of it?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Cracking on.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: You heard that phrase?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Never.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Never heard of cracking on.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't either.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um uh the Brits say it, uh, the Australians say it because evidently they know each other, the Brits and the Australians.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And cracking on is a phrase that you use.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's sort of like um when you're facing something really tough, um, strip swimming upstream, they'll say something like, Well, you gotta just keep cracking on, which is different, by the way, based on my research, from cracking on to, which means flirting with someone.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: So for all of our British listeners and our Australian listeners, that is not what we're gonna be talking about.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we're talking about cracking on.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's the the series we're in.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, just about like how do you so cracking on?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Any words to our British and Australian listeners?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm I'm like speechless.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've never heard that phrase before.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me more, teach me more.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I so here's my question for you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: What is in your adolescence, or when you think back, what is like cracking on?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like you just had to push through it.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: What is one instance that comes to mind where you're like, hard thing, I just had to keep going on?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you, uh while you're thinking, sophomore year, I move from Granite City, Illinois to East Texas.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you get they can't even be any different, right?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, Granite City, Illinois is right next to St.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Louis, uh East Texas.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're worlds apart.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I moved to East Texas and I'd played baseball my whole life, been playing since I was four years old.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And just to be clear, the producers in the back, laughing, that's Luke, our producer, laughing.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I got there and it became pretty clear that the coach of that baseball team hated my guts in East Texas.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't like that.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I wore, you know, my I did not fit in East Texas in any stretch of the imagination.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember coming home and telling my dad, I'm like, I not I can't play here.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: This coach hates me.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to sit the bench all year long.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad didn't have the mastery of the British vocabulary to tell me to keep cracking on, but that's what I had to do.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is for the next year, it was show up, um, get yelled at.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: I remember specifically uh he thought it was funny to punish me for someone else's mistake.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: So there were practices where he would look uh a shortstop would boot a ball and he'd say, Parks, run a lap.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd be like, Why?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because your teammate may go run.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Someone miss a sign, he'd make me run all the time.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I will tell you, it was like as a sophomore, really hard to go to practice every day because it's like this coach is never gonna play me, he hates my guts.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Fast forward to my senior year, and uh one of my prized possessions, I still have it.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I still have the letter that that coach wrote me when I was leaving Texas.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: It sits inside of a uh a safe that I have at my house.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh this coach adored me, and he became foundational in how I see life, the things I'm how how to get through hard things.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I do remember that sophomore year, man.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was like I just had to keep cracking on.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I still held on to it.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then it said, You have a Josh McDaniels punchable face.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: You have a punchable face.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, before we keep going, can I ask you something?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: What if following Jesus isn't mostly about knowing more, but actually rearranging your life around what he said is true?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's the belief behind everything we do at follow.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: If Jesus is right about God, life, and the soul, then his way is worth actually living.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's the thing following Jesus, it is a journey, it can be slow, it is intentional, and sometimes it is a little bit disorienting, but you don't have to have it all figured out.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: You just need a next step.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, start with the follow guide.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: It is a 30-day guided journey with one reading and one practice each day designed to help you take what Jesus taught and begin putting it into practice.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Go through it on your own, with a friend, or with a group, and that's just the beginning.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: The follow library includes guides to the words of Jesus and prayer, and with more to come on practices like scripture, rest, and so much more, all created to help you keep rearranging your everyday life around what Jesus said is true.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: But you don't have to change everything today.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to take your next step along his way.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: So visit follow thewayofjesus.com.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Start that journey today.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny though, like my dad had this phrase, and he'd say it always to me, change diversity and opportunity.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if I got four fouls, he'd just come up and I'd be sitting and I'd be wanting to blame the refs, or I want to just change diversity and opportunity.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's one of it's just I can hear my dad just saying that all the time.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, of course, of course, yeah.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is your chance to change diversity and opportunity.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's like when you describe what you know cracking on is, is can you can you like have that level of resilience and some mental mindset that can help almost pull you through?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, that's different than like stuck it up, buttercup kind of thing.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, different things, right?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's like some some piece, but you still have to show up.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You have a choice, and probably what made that coach love you so much was that there was in your spirit that at least you didn't give off during those practices, was a bit unbreakable.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you did, but he just like like he probably wanted you to have some attitude so he could be like this little St.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Louis Cardinals fan, like can't stand him, as I told you.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: They're not built like us, and you kept running, kept showing up.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I showed up and go home and complain to dad, and dad said, crack on, crack on.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: But like, yeah, I don't know.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's cool.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wonder how many of us like this is the role our fathers played.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not the best roles in a thousand other areas, but somehow, yeah, hard stuff, son.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Keep on, keep it on, kind of thing, you know.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: But there is something in that culture, in our culture, that I think maybe just needs to be reminded about cracking on.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what that's what drew me to it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm excited today because we have a guest on, um, Jeremy Lewis, worship leader extraordinaire, one of my travel buddies.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, it will be one year in seven days from when Jeremy myself and our producer took an epic motorcycle motorcycle.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: I say motorcycle loosely very, very loosely across Italy.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: But Jeremy's joining us today.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, uh, Jeremy Lewis, welcome to the pod, buddy.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Glad to be here.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Glad you could be on.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: A year ago, we all left a little piece of ourselves in Italy.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: It literally, you did.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: You did.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: There's a reason why you don't have a microphone.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, um it is true.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like we you we had a little you had a little little crash over in Italy.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we went to Italy and we thought it would be an amazing experience to to jump on.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've never ridden more than a bicycle, like nothing motorized.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like a tricycle.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Not even not even that.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I well, you know, I I I have ridden a tricycle probably as a child.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um but since then that this was by far the most adventurous thing that I've ever done.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: And it's mostly because I I was going with two Enneagram sevens.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Two sevens on the Enneagram.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was a it was a glorious adventure, but that's not why we're here.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um I am I really am excited that you joined us.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Jeremy's been on staff at Plum Creek for uh a few years.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: How long have you been on staff?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh a little over five and a half years, uh, all the way back to kind of like January 1st, I think officially is the official start date, January 1st of 2021.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And describe a little bit of your journey over the last like you you came in, your your worship tell us a little bit about you.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I grew I grew up in a home where my dad was a pastor, my mom played music uh at the church.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so I just kind of grew up with the experience of yeah, church, music, all those things, and um all my family, super musical, and just got into high school, discovered uh cool little group called Hillsong United, and thought that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I want to do that.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so I started pursuing that and ended up found found myself, yeah, into the calling and career of doing worship music and have been at Plum Creek now for a little over five years, but have been doing uh ministry, worship ministry for the last about 15 years.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, you came to mind as we started to think about the series that we're moving into as we talked about cracking on, because I think there are lots of listeners and all of us experience something we didn't expect.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: A big thing that comes our way where you just didn't see it coming.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think your story exemplifies a little bit of well, I didn't see that coming.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I'd I would love for you to share a little bit of the story of your oldest and tell us a little bit about what happened, how long ago that was.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so Steve, I don't know if I've I've told you this story.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: I know we've we've connected a few times, but um so my wife and I we're we've been married now for 15 years.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we just celebrated our 15th.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, congratulations.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: 15 years, thank you.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: We got we got to go to uh Mexico this summer.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Super great.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't get on any bikes while we were there.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Good idea.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: So but uh we yeah, we we got married.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Children was kind of always a part of the picture.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: We moved down to Florida, we uh went and joined uh a church down there, church plant, and in that process being far away from family, we we wanted to kind of start marriage that way, but just um as we were kind of in the throes of ministry and everything else, and as we kind of started to unpack what it would look like to have kids, we knew that we wanted to be closer uh to family.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: So we moved back to Colorado um and kind of quickly kind of jumped into the pool of trying to have kids.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um and in that, you know, we we got pregnant, and as every parent does, like you're excited, you're it's the dream is is is on its way.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um and about 20 weeks into uh Amanda being pregnant, uh she'd gone to just kind of a typical OB appointment.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: And at that appointment, they saw something as they were kind of just doing uh their scans, um that something wasn't normal.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so they referred us to uh children's hospital.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so all of this is just it's new, just yeah just a process of going to an OB appointment regularly um and them scanning and doing all these strange things that just it's it's a all of it's already a new world.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so when they tell us, hey, something that just doesn't look normal, um, we don't know what that means.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: They really actually don't even say more than that.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so we just have we have no context other than you need to go see somebody else.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so we rolled into children's hospital the next day, we got an appointment right away, um, and yeah, proceeded to do uh some more scans, and then they took us into a big conference room with a big conference table uh and started sharing lots of big words with us.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Did you remember what you were feeling in the moment?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, I mean uh just uh a numb kind of like um just every everything that was being said in in that moment.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's like that idea of dreams kind of crashing um the world that you expected.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um kind of it's kind of like you when I get in a c crash on a bike in in Italy, like the surreal, just trying to take in the amount of chaos and the amount of everything that's coming at you in that moment, it's hard to process the amount uh that's coming at you.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: Not even just the fact that, okay, there's a whole world of medical terminology and everything that's being thrown at you that you you just don't know what they're saying, uh, other than my child is sick and is gonna have a very hard time uh making it through.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um and on top of that, just the emotions of everything that we've been dreaming about has changed.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um so we get to that moment and it's a reckoning of just the world that we had been dreaming of was going to suddenly look different.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it felt pretty pretty hopeless in that moment.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh just trying to dig through the totality of a diagnosis that we got in that moment of that our daughter was going to be born with a condition, again, big words of hypoplastic left heart syndrome.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um so just these big things where they distill it down, they call it HLHS.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um but just in layman's terms, it means that her heart didn't form properly and that the journey from from there on out um would in reality mean hey, you can jump on the train of trying to do surgeries to help your daughter.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um and we don't know, you know, the totality of what those outcomes always means.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Here's what we have seen.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and they start throwing lots of numbers out at you.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so again, it's like just it's a whirlwind of numbers and information and words and things that are hard to make sense of.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so we we get this diagnosis and and we we find out that our daughter will uh about four days into being born have to have an open heart surgery uh just to start the process of getting her heart to a place that can not function like normal, but get her to a place where, you know, she can live life.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do you Jeremy, when you think back?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember in that season?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because that was a decade ago.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, ten ten years ago.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: So do you remember where and when your lowest point in that season was?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember any of that?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think there were several low moments up that that day specifically um sitting in that conference room with uh some people that I never saw again, uh, some people that we've seen many times since.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we're we're grateful for those people um that have sat with us, the doctors, uh, the PAs, the nurses uh that walked through through those moments with us.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: But they're not people that like it's like, oh man, I I'm really hoping to meet a heart surgeon someday and become great friends with this guy.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um But it like in that moment it was kind of like yeah, hor horrible moment, um, sitting in that conference room.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um the day of Elsie's first surgery, um, on July or June, June 6th.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um sitting in the waiting room for for eight hours, waiting to to to hear what what would be the outcome just from the first surgery.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think getting readmitted a month after um we go home after she'd already been in the hospital uh for a month and then going home for just a few days and then going back.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just it's kind of a big roller coaster.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: You you experience these moments where it's just like, all right.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like the kind of like that cherry on top moment, like the day that we we were actually supposed we were leaving for the very first time with Elsie to go home.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: We get in my car and we start driving on I-70, and my car breaks down in the middle of I-70.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you gotta be kidding.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: So, like we literally, like just boom, we shut down all of I-70 with our daughter, her first time in a car.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, all right, here we go.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's the uh when it rains, it pours, like analogy for sure.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I honestly, like, I I forget about these things.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was just like it's a whirlwind season of life where like sitting here having this conversation, like I forget about it until I start to actually go down memory lane.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh yeah, this other really crappy thing happened.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we broke, we shut down I-70.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, nothing.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Now we need a new car.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my perfect.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder, like, when you look back on that season, obviously.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh well, tell the whole story.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: She she is uh how is Elsie these days?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh she's healthy, thriving.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I use those words in the sense of like for Elsie, she's she's healthy and thriving as uh what her baseline looks like.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, anybody that would see her wouldn't necessarily see anything abnormal.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: She looks like a normal young, healthy 10-year-old girl.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but you know, she's got a scar down the middle of her chest.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and she's getting to a place now where um she's starting to think like a 10-year-old and notice those things where, you know, as a five-year-old, you're not necessarily concerned about the the aesthetics of of the abody, um, but she's starting to become a young girl.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so all of a sudden wearing a a bathing suit or anything like that start just those kind of things start to come to mind.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: And um, but she's still like crazy confident.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: She's um like honestly, just like one of the the most confident, bravest people I've I've ever known.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so she's she's endured more than Amanda and I could ever uh testify to in our own lives.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um and she's only tenure, in the spirit of you know you know, this series we're in, this is the ultimate change of plans, the ultimate, however you you describe it any way you want, you know, uh off ramp.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: curve ball, whatever.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I wonder as you look back, um what what is some of your biggest learnings about how did you how did you get through some of those seasons that were exceedingly scary, very unknown, very traumatic, right?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I think it is one going, I don't want to understand going through hard things personally, uh, when you're the subject of the hard thing, the surgery, the diagnosis is hard.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a different weight that you carry when you're carrying it for someone else.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're carrying it for your daughter.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's something as a parent that uh that every parent that's listening can feel.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like it's happening to your child.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: It does something different.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: You have to carry on differently.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I just wonder what is some of your biggest learnings in the season as you reflect back on how did you make it?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like how did you do it?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: What did you do?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: What did you learn?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean I one, I I would say we're we're still trying to make it um you know there's there's moments that happen still you know I texted you several months ago like Elsie had passed out just randomly from something.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so there there's still moments along the way that are just um yeah tough and and so it's just it's it's a constant moment of trying to to carry on and carry through and crack on.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: But honestly like I I I can't speak to anything more than just you know like but firstly just like it is by the grace and mercy of God um that that we've been able to maintain sustain um and walk through any of this um and you know we've we've had parents that have raised us you know in in the ways of God and just you know it's like when when you sit in a home with with parents that tell you to pray that you know bring scripture in front of you consistently and and you memorize and uh and you do all these things that like um these repetitions you know what we're going through follow as a church and bringing in this discipleship model that these spiritual habits that sometimes feel like what what am I doing?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm I'm just shooting free throws from the free throw line without anybody around me.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like why why why am I praying?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I reading the scripture and you know just but it but I think it's actually for for moments like what Amanda and I just walked through it's um and have been walking through where it's like the scripture isn't necessarily hey you're you're in the middle of a moment at all times it's it's going to be a roller coaster of seasons where there's going to be moments where you're on top of the mountain um but scripture is even for that moment prayers for that moment to be able to say God thank you but even in the valley um where it's like man this is the lowest of lows and like I I just remember thinking back to that first night in the hospital um when Elsie's in the ICU and uh Amanda who had an emergency C-section isn't able to be down in the room with her and she's in her own room recovering and going up into that room and Amanda and I just sitting and crying together and reading through Psalms 23 and having a moment where it's like okay like this scripture became real like being you know a child and reading through Psalm 23 and talking about though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death like it's hard to imagine and like what does that mean?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like it becomes real when when you're sitting in the hospital going, I don't I don't know how many more days I might have with my kid.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so just like the ability to lament and the ability to thank God like thank you for these moments that we get to have with our daughter thank you God um that that we're here thank you that you're here with us.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it it was in those moments that like that the presence of God felt more tangible felt more real than it had ever felt um and like like you don't wish necessarily like God placed me back in that valley but it's but it's in those moments like I remember Francis Chan talking about this idea of uh these missionaries that had uh had been taken captive and how um it was in those moments of of captivity that they felt that presence of Jesus um more tangible than anything else and that they had as they had come out of it this longing almost to go back where it's like that I'd never been that close to my Lord than I was in those moments and like and I think there is a a truth to like the presence that we felt of God in those moments was was just so real and I I think that's what you know God has proved himself.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so the ability for us to um to keep pressing on to have this perseverance in a world that we didn't dream of having um we certainly weren't like asking for in that sense but like we we feel honored that God would would allow us to be able to carry the story of LC in this manner.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Jeremy you I so appreciate you sharing this and on so many levels um you know you you can often talk about uh kind of a cliff notes version of what spiritual formation is is you know you are simple, complex sacred you know you might have the simple truth that you know God you're you'll never leave me nor forsake me.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then it goes through the complexity of fire or difficulty or hardship and you wonder does that verse hold up and if you can kind of like experience that weightiness and the complexity that phrase goes from some simple trite phrase God is with me never leave me nor forsake me to becoming something so profoundly sacred and holy like you know like you know to the core of your being like who God is in a new way.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's uh all of these places in our life where um we we feel like we can be in control and we and and even though we we we can talk about God's sovereignty and God being a God of control and then there are these places of such vulnerability that I can't fix this for my daughter I can't control this um how how did you still get up and lead people in worship?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: How did you still continue to you know crack it on?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like how did you still continue to take steps when you knew like I can't fix this I can't change this.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: I can't like like what was that what was that faith mindset I guess um to continue and and what would you say hey I I feel like my wife and I did this really well and then were there areas that you're like oh man I I just felt tempted here felt like it was so hard to trust even though I could sing about it I couldn't like in reality like deep within was hard to keep trusting yeah I I think for me the the motion of being able to to do maybe some of these practices whether it's you know returning to scripture reading praying um or even just getting up and singing a song like these motions I think sometimes it can feel like oh he's he's going through like a pretend motion um but like for me it's like no the this is the aspect it's it's no different than a a parent who had a bad day at work and his boss yelled at him and like how does that guy not go home and take it out on his wife and kids like in the same way it's like yes my my daughter is fighting for her life in the hospital um do I therefore not show up to the people that I'm supposed to care for in a in a different sphere and go, hey, just not up not up to it today.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I I think sometimes like we we compartmentalize our lives in this way and we allow ourselves to go, you know what?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm allowed to not be a parent today because I had a bad day at work or hey I'm allowed to not be a a worship leader today because you know my my family's having a tough day at home.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: And those things are all real and that's not to shame anybody that you know it it just it does land that way where hey yeah like my my spouse just passed away or my my child is sick.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Those things are very real um you know but for for my wife and I it wasn't about trying to pretend or or anything like that.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think for us it was just this genuine place of like no we we want to continue worshiping God in in the place that we're currently in for for me to be able to come back to how how does David continue to sing and write and um and you know write these words that that inspire me to this day um well I I want to pursue God in the same way and that and there's going to be and there were moments of lament of me crying out to God and going this isn't fair.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like where where are you?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: And all of these things are appropriate even in in the course of being a pastor on a stage and singing songs.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: And there there have been moments where yeah we've been able to share and speak to those things.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I think just in the same way where it's like a coach telling telling the player to go out onto the field and like hey yeah it's going to be tough like here but here's these these battlefield moments of life where when when you go through it how how do I keep putting on um yeah the the armor of God to be able to keep fighting day after day um because I have a a a child that that I hope one day s sees and recognizes hey my my parents while while they were in the midst in the thick of it um I have seen I have witnessed and been able to see yes like hard things are a part of life and I can walk through hard things.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so I I think some of that mindset too is just like we we want to show our children who even at four days old is not going to be able to recognize that but just like no this this is the testimony that we want to carry with us is that our children will will be able to see and testify to our our parents uh were able to um stand with with their community and share that God is still faithful.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: He's still good um he is worthy of of all praise and worship even in the middle of everything that we're facing so I think for me it was just yeah mostly just God help help me to walk out uh the words that I've been singing beforehand uh and to continue uh testifying to even in the middle of moments that big like it's a big moment with a loss of a dream um a diagnosis failure at any level it's so big that it doesn't feel manageable and I do think like it all you and Carter I don't know how you how how you see this but I often feel like we default to it's a binary decision about control.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's either I'm fully surrendered or I got hold of the wheel and most people decide I'm gonna try to hold the wheel right I'm gonna hold the wheel because there is a level of like vulnerability.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if there's like a third way though where you just it's more about a posture the way in which we enter into these things.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like um I'm gonna be faithful uh I'm gonna step into this thing it's what I hear you describing and I'm trying to put words to it but I'm gonna show up faithfully I have a vision about uh what I believe to be true even if the circumstances don't align fully because I don't understand the fullness of this whole picture I'm just gonna be faithful to to this vision of how I see uh this God how he will show up I'm just gonna be faithful but I'm not gonna try to control the outcome like this third way of like faithfully showing up today um and cannot control the outcome because you can't you were the there's lots of situations in our lives where we can't control outcomes you were facing as stark a decision in terms of understanding I you you don't you can't perform the surgery you had to sit in a lobby like you you weren't there you are literally out of control and yet when I hear you talk about it there's something in the process of a posture of but I am going to be faithful I'm gonna show up um in these spaces in very specific ways and I'm not gonna try to control the outcome um I don't know there's something I think I think about people who are listening to this who are facing some something similar like a loss of a dream and you know how do they how do they learn from what you learned?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: How do you describe hey this how you get through the days because I would imagine those days are long days.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah oh yeah uh I mean I I I think for us it was it was that choice of like whether it was a song or a prayer or just a a moment in the word with God like like faithfulness to show up to those moments uh the songs the prayers uh the scripture like they they became actual tangible like no I I get this when I'm singing a song like from Bethel um Faithful to the End um where Paul McClure is singing this lyric of that God is faithful no matter what like to the end um we we believe it and and ironically like this was one of those songs that like became a prayer and an anthem like that I would sing in the car I would sing at home I would sing at church and it like but his brother on the other side of the country his daughter was born with the same same thing.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so like this ability to sing through a song like that and and have it become a prayer for us and to say God you you are faithful no matter what um it was a choice of not saying hey God I'm like not even to try and manipulate God hey I'm I'm gonna reach out to you for you to do this thing like it's in God's hands no matter what but like I'm not forcing God's hand to take away or to give uh life in these moments it's just me showing up and God just saying the truth that that he is faithful no matter what uh and then starting you know just the beauty of getting to walk into this world that's unexpected is that you know it opens up a world of people that we would have never imagined or um gotten to know otherwise and we've we've got to meet other beautiful kids that are that are like Elsie and to walk alongside them and their families and Amanda's been the most beautiful champion of this where she's been able to connect with so many Amanda is your wife Amanda my wife has connected with families all over the country um because of this and because of Elsie's story and um I think just the ability like you don't know what what God's going to do when you decide to show up with hands open and going God I'm going to have hope in spite of all the numbers that are thrown at me in spite of the diagnosis in spite of the dream that feels lost and and God's going to along this path start to bring others along that you go oh my goodness Robert we would we would have never gotten to know this this little boy Robert um and this other girl Malin where um they took a picture together as these little kids of just um these heart warriors that they they got to know each other from children's hospital and getting to fight through the same diagnosis together um and they got to get together just a few weeks ago um all of them 10 years old now um and just just a testament of of God's goodness of just um the things that God can do when you when you decide to have a spirit of um yeah of resilience and just like God please like give me strength um not for tomorrow not for a month from now give me strength for today um that I can walk through the moments that that you're here with me in and I I think day by day like God continues um to show and prove faithful just with with the small things and I I think that's for us like that's that's where yeah we we made our money was just showing up with in in the small things of like God we're we're here to to pray with you this morning that's all we can do we don't have much else to do um you know when when a car breaks down in the middle of the highway there's not much else you can do then pray it's like for first car ride home all right well God protect us here in this moment like what else can you do?
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I love that one belief drives everything around here if Jesus was right about God, life and the soul then it makes sense to rearrange our lives around what he said is true.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: Ready for the next step?
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well follow is a 30-day guided study one reading a day one practice a day on your own or with other people and by day 30 you'll not just be learning about Jesus you'll be living differently going deeper from there with 30 day guides on prayer and so much more to come so if you're interested in taking a next step visit follow theway dot church and start your guide this week Jeremy there's a you know the you know this like the text it's like Exodus 36 and it's throughout the Hebrew scriptures but God will say something like you know I'm a I'm the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob you know and yeah it's three three patriarchs but it's also um in in so many ways I think it's like say stating um I'm the God of Abraham or I'm a God of promise.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm a God that makes promises, a God who uh told you um you know um you are going to be a father of multitudes.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like and then it's like a God of Isaac which is just this um kind of the the the actual promise in the flesh like it it's it's the provision.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the truth that God promises and God provides.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have the God of Jacob which is you know the God of transformation like um the deceiver to Israel you know just this and then just those like three names it's like uh a reality of this God of promise and a God who provides and a God who transforms.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you know I think when I hear you talking about singing that song um from Bethel or I hear you talk about the scriptures or the prayers it's like you're you're really laying into the promise and and believing in what God can provide and the hope of the transformation.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like this really beautiful thing in like the first three generations of the the Hebrew people.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways I say all that to go um I'm sure there was like many moments where what God provided was his presence or what God provided was a a moment of peace or what God provided was um something in the in the in the current moment but it wasn't like the ultimate what you wanted to be provided or how I I I think for I think for many people probably listening they kind of live I know God's promises I know and yet I feel like what God's providing right now isn't isn't what maybe my heart desires fully um how'd you wrestle with that or what like words would you give to to to say someone to to continue to you know keep cracking on.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: But then also I'd say for anybody who is wrestling through this, what is something that you wish people would have never done or never said um in their attempts to be helpful?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you you're probably like, hey, don't ever talk about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to someone who's walking through this, you know?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Bingo.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: But like, is there something that would be that you go, man, this is this is what was helpful.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is what was not as helpful for for for people who are walking through this, at least from your experience.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean two things.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_02: One, look look for the the th the unexpected blessings, where it's just like I I wasn't expecting like, you know, we weren't expecting the blessing to be a heart surgeon.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh that wasn't the thing that we were looking to be our story.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: But Dr.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_02: Mitchell was a blessing.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_02: In disguise, he ended up being this miracle worker, this hand um that was able to represent the hand of God operating on our heart our daughter's heart.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's there's there's going to be things in our path that we just go I wasn't looking for that.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't wanting that but thank you God for Dr.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_02: Mitchell thank you for this person that devoted their life to helping these children and their his ability to to work in ways that I can't and we're we're just so grateful for these these unexpected blessings that we are grateful for the moment in which we live where that's a possibility.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_02: We're grateful and we see it as a blessing that we were happened to be in a place where we have one of the top five heart um surge surgery places in the world where someone like Elsie can receive the type of care uh that she can get and um so I I would I would start there was just like what are the things where it's like God I'm I'm in the middle of this moment but there are blessings that are in disguise right now.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: Help me open my eyes to see what what you see um and reveal it to me.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I I think the other thing is just like whether it's that unexpected blessing um but sometimes it's the blessings that they're not disguised.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: We just we just haven't been looking around and I think for us it was um sometimes that that community that family that was around us that sometimes we we take for granted um the the ability the proximity to have you know my parents Amanda's parents um and so many people around us so the ability to all of a sudden like we're falling into this place of of unexpected journeys with with health and everything else where all of a sudden like Amanda's parents opened up um and said well we're we're gonna go buy a new home and we're gonna build out a a basement for for you and your family to be able to to live with us and um the amount of prayer and outpouring that took place just something that like we take we took for granted just from the aspect of like growing up in these Christian families and um prayer being a thing that's like yeah you you do that you're a Christian you pray um but again it became like oh my goodness thank you God that I have my mom and Amanda's mom these incredible prayer warriors praying over um my my my daughter before she goes into surgery and that it's just been unceasing prayer um since the moment that we found out about this diagnosis and just and learning um some of the history of of my family has just been like one of those things where it's like oh my goodness God you you have placed prayer up upon the hearts of of my grandmother who has been praying since a young child who didn't grow up in a family that that knew the Lord but like she she learned to to pray as a young girl and just so having these these gifts like oh my goodness we we are being sustained on on the prayers of the faithful around us and I think it's one of those blessings that we we discovered by just starting to look around and and notice that like oh my goodness like God you've been here all along um and whether it's this community that that we we absolutely needed and sometimes we just sometimes forget it's like oh there you are here's a blessing um and you know as Matt Redman sings about 10,000 reasons there there are so many reasons uh to thank and bless God for for what he's doing in our lives that sometimes we get kind of consumed by but you're not I'm not seeing blessing in this one specific thing.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that true?
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: I've been thinking about this a lot about and I think what you're describing fits in this our wiring towards God's daily provision.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: The idea that God give me enough grace just for today.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Which in many ways as you describe it it's like you go through hard days right you had plenty of those and I know uh there was a season in my life where I really did struggle with anxiety and one of the lies that I would um tell myself is like I barely got through today how am I gonna get it get through 400 more days of 400 days worth of grace in order to get through it and that's the way our brain works and I think as I've I've been in Matthew for a while just studying you know and and Jesus in Matthew 6 lays out you know give us this day our daily bread like he he gives he says hey we should be praying not for storehouses not for grace for 400 days because you know there's something to this reality I can't experience yesterday's grace or tomorrow's grace uh today I can only experience it today.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you fast forward he talks about trouble too like you're gonna have trouble.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like well you can't experience tomorrow's trouble today.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: You can only experience grace and trouble in that day right and these provisions I'm gonna give you enough today to get through today.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a learning in that at least it has been for me where it's like um trusting the provision even on the hardest hardest days to be like okay I'm gonna find like a reason to get through today like the relationship that the food that someone brought over the there's days where it was like it the sunshine was enough.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was the sunshine was enough.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like okay I I it's enough it was great.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: The walk across the parking lot was enough this sounds crazy but um the football game that I get to watch tonight, it'll be enough, right?
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like just learning how to get through a day and I think that's the prayer and the truth is nothing leads us to that prayer more than when we find ourselves in trouble when we're in moments where we're like I can't it's I I I just have to find my way through today and trust in God to be like, hey you're gonna give me enough for today and that's all I need.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: I just need to get through today.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: Give me enough today.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I hear that in your story like this ability to sit in today the relationship today the thing I found today and uh I think there's something in that learning and trouble does that forces us to learn that or I mean gives us the opportunity to learn that yeah for sure absolutely I I think the beauty is is that like when when you live in today you you get to have great relationships with the people that are in today with you today.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: And sadly I've learned Amanda's much better than this than I am like I am hor if you're not in my life today I'm terrible at texting people.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm terrible at like I was wondering about that.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I see a text today.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well yeah people people that like from from you know from school from you know like when I was in college peep just these old connections from from the church that we were at in Florida um and you know it's one of those things where it's like today is hard enough and sometimes I'm not great at like reaching out but like we've seen like people reach out that were long forgotten in our minds not because we didn't love them but just because today was what we were worried about.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: And when when Elsie came along it was like oh my goodness this person that I haven't thought of in um man forever just reached out um a person that I haven't seen since high school uh we have all of a sudden connected and it turns out you know there a gal that we went to high school with uh had walked through a very similar journey having a daughter um that was born with the same condition and um just the way that God connects people um it man it's just it's it's unreal to see how God moves and again just like this a idea of being able to live in the moment and God we're we're here to face the challenges of today but also to receive your blessings that you have for us today.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_02: And like what what a gift that these people will come along our path and God will bless us in these unique and beautiful ways.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_02: We we're just honestly it's it's a testimony of again God's grace his mercy um just in the most unexpected most beautiful ways that we don't always ask for um I would never think to ask for um but God in his goodness knew that like this this would be the journey and we're so grateful for it.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_00: Bro I'm I appreciate a ton uh love you a ton thanks for being on the podcast and sharing a little bit of your story encouraging people teaching us how to crack on right but not crack on to not crack on to no sorry yeah I will say this Jeremy as someone who's like been super blessed by the way that you lead worship and just past through a room um you know you're just one of those guys that you um are reminded oh people are going through a lot more than you can always recognize at face value but also the way that you have ministered and pastored and led in this season um man just makes me think just and I thought already so highly of you but just so high of your character and your faith and your trust and um in God and um so just from the bottom of my heart thanks for sharing your story and inspiring me um just uh today so grateful for you bro thanks man appreciate that thanks bud appreciate you so that's gonna do it for today if something landed for you in this conversation don't just let it sit take it with you carry it into your week talk about it with someone let it do something in you and if you want to go deeper click on the link in the show notes we'll be back soon with more so until then keep rearranging keep following it