Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Brandon Rogers - Navigating Fatherhood: Lessons, Challenges, and Unconditional Love

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Brandon Rogers - Navigating Fatherhood: Lessons, Challenges, and Unconditional Love · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Additionally, they are dedicated to supporting and promoting the local community, the culture, as well as protecting and preserving the natural beauty that the resources of the region have to offer us.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: And whether you're looking to find a wellness retreat, if you're looking for a place to take your favorite customer, if you're looking for a way to maybe take your leadership team, check out LatitudeSitkacom, because they will give you some amazing sea exploration from fishing to commercial fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, even paddle boarding.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility.
• 1:18
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• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox again with the quarterback dagcast.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: We're in season four and I am beyond excited for our next guest.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: So someone I met at the Bullhorn Engage event in June it was fantastic seeing so many people in person about you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: But being a social guy, being around people, not having to worry about like, do I have a right internet connection?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Is my.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Am I going to get spotty?
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Like I didn't have to worry about that stuff?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Dad joke because I could just see people and talk to people.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: And our next guest is Brandon Rogers.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: He's a chief operating officer at IDR, a healthcare staffing company, and probably they do a lot more about serving the market.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: We're gonna learn more about that.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: He's been there 18 years.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: He's a Georgia fanatic.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I met him through Will Hayes, who I was introduced through the town of Keith Waightman.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: But more importantly, we're going to talk to Brandon and say about Brandon the dad.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: We're going to learn about how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his households.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Without further ado, mr Rogers, welcome to the quarterback dagcast.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Casey, thank you for having me.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: This is, honestly, my first podcast, so I'm pretty stuck.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I've been telling people for the last week I'm going to be on a podcast.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Been bragging about it pretty hard.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: You know you've made it when you've been on a podcast, Exactly, and probably when you leave your office you're going to be signing gloves, signing balls, signing laptops.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: They won't be worth anything, but I'll sign.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Hey, signing Georgia jerseys.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I mean let's think big.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, joking aside, we always start every episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I am most grateful, probably for, you know, my savior, jesus Christ.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: But you know, my wife Erica has been such a blessing to my life personally and professionally.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to do my job without her.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And just three crazy unique kiddos, right.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: They're all so different and I love the thing.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: You see your strengths in your kids, you see your tendencies in your kids, like you see your faults in your kids, right, and it's just such an awesome responsibility.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: It just challenges it to grow every day and just watching them just develop and find their voice and you know it's, it's bittersweet, right, because you just wanted to stay there, but you just love watching them, you know, grow and they all play sports and you know it's, it's so.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: We just wrapped up my son's All-Star season, right, and it was, it was, it was emotional man.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: It was so much fun to be a part of that and watch him compete.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: It's so many blessings with, with, with kids, right, the challenges, but they're mostly blessings, right.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I love asking that question because it forces us dads to slow down and it's as stressful as a day might be or as as bad as a kid might act, there's still.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: We can always find things to be grateful for, and I'm going to.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: You led me right to kind of my gratitude for the day I told you before we went on my son is a, I would say, above average high school golfer.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Was aspiring to play in college.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Did not play well for him today, but I'm like awesome, what a great opportunity to grow and what a great opportunity to like find things to be grateful for.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Well, he hit 14 out of 18 greens, so the petal laid down.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, there's something to be positive for.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the chance we have.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Well, he'll be in the.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: He and I will be in the car for about an hour after this.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: We're going to our first Seattle memory game tonight and I'm not going to coach, I'm just going to ask questions and I'm going to lead him to keep talking and get it out, and then we're going to grab a blast and not talk about golf at all at the memory game and hopefully we'll leave with a W tonight.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: But I'm just grateful for that time, because that's the hard part about parenting your kids have to fail, they have to struggle, they have to go through these ups and downs, cause that's how we, we, we did.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: We didn't just you just show up successful one day, and I don't think you ever.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: There's always room for growth, even if you are per per, you know, in quote successful.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: But what does?
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: that mean.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Right who, right says who.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Well, if it helps, you can tell him you're talking to a guy that's been playing golf since he was seven, 33 years, and your kid would smoke me.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: So that's awesome though, but, yeah, no, no.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Failure is something you, you hate to watch your kids experience, but you know, like to your point, how beautiful thing it is, right.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: You, you fail forward in life and I and I just know that, if you can, you can teach your kids how to fail.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Right, that's a beautiful thing, right, success.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, if you look back at every success, however you define that, it's usually just sitting on a on a heaping pile of failure, you know and clues.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: It does and, to your point, it leads the conversation, it leads the growth, you know, and and it's, how can you grow without failure?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Right, but it's, it's easier said than done, right, and you're still.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You don't like seeing them upset, you know, but but it's awesome watching them persevere.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: And you know your, your son's going to get back out there and he's going to crush it and it's going to be it's going to be awesome, right?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So I told him.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I said the good news, bud, the son's going to come up tomorrow, right, right, it should at least.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: And if it doesn't I'll.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Then you can say I was wrong.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Yep, but most likely, buddy.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: So you talked briefly about Erica, talk about how you guys met, how long you've been married and a little bit about the three kids you got.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: It's a romantic story, Not really.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: We we actually knew each other in high school.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: We were acquaintances.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: We weren't really friends.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I, I, I was involved with someone for a really long time all through high school.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: But I remember Erica, right, and there's a specific moment right.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: One time, you know, we went to to the high school championship football game and you know Erica needed a ride.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: So she rode in the middle of like a one cab truck with me and my best friend at the time, and I guess somebody snapped with their disposable camera Remember those right A picture of me given Erica a piggyback ride, and so I was in big trouble, right, I was not allowed to, you know, be around her anymore, right, so we would always kind of chat online.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Remember a instant messenger on AOL, right, so we still remember our screen names.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: We still laugh about that.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: But it's so insane, you know, gosh, what was that?
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Almost 10 years after graduating high school, we got reconnected, just, you know, I was in Nashville, was a bachelor, working a lot running an office.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: She'd been through, you know, a lot personally and I think without the challenges that we'd been through over those you know, nine, 10 years, we probably might have not been compatible, but there was so much growth that had been done, so much soul searching, that we only we only dated for six months long distance.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I was in, you know, nashville, and she was in Atlanta.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I think I poked her on Facebook if you remember that was a thing back in the day and we started chatting and it was one of the first times that I became really close to another human being, another woman, like we were friends first, like there was mutual respect, and then she had a daughter, she had a Lillian, who was at the time about two and a half, and so it was kind of like.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah that's not, that's not a thing.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And then next thing, you know, I'm like man kind of feelings for this woman, you know.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: And next thing, you know, you know we're getting married.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And becoming husband and dad overnight was not easy, right, I knew the challenges.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I was always big on self development.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Right, I was really into that, still am, and so I we've done a lot of the homework.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: We dated with intention, but that was.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: You know, I never would have thought in a million years, right, that that that would be the situation for me.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: But it was beautiful.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: You know, my family is very supportive and accepting and it's, it's been a wonderful blessing.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So Lillian is now 17.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: We, me and Erica, have been married.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I got to get this right.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: It will be 13 years in November and we also have a daughter, janelle, who is 11.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: And my son, cole, is seven.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, and what are all the kids up to?
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: What keeps them busy?
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Lilian's on her phone about nine hours a day, but when she's not on her phone she is an extremely social person.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I love it and for all those dads that have thrill-seeking daughters, it is not fun, but she loves to be around people.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: She works, she gets great grades, she plays volleyball, she is a managing director, she's into yearbook.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: She's really found a passion in that.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: It's been really awesome to see her own that and just be so passionate about it, so good at it.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I mean she would be up, I mean going working five, six hours on a Saturday.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I never thought I'd see it, you know, on school, but just passionate about that.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: And I think my favorite thing that she does is varsity flag football.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: So she plays on the women's flag football team and was invited to a combine a couple of weeks ago, which was news to me, but there are apparently, I think, 15 NAA schools that have women's football scholarships, so I don't know if she's going to pursue that or not.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, but it was a really cool experience for her to compete at that level with other women, and it was.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of fun.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: So she's into a lot.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Janelle is our baker.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: She will cook breakfast all the time we're talking like raspberry muffins, yogurt parfait, she's.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: They watched the kids baking.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, and she loves it.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: She's a craftsman, she.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: She is so talented in making, making bracelets and just making all types of things.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: She loves children, she.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: She's probably destined to be a teacher or a nurse.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, just she loves.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: She's one of the kindest, most patient, gentle human being.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: She's really great.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: And my man Cole, he is just wrapped up All Star baseball it was a really cool thing.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: He plays golf.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: We started playing golf about a year and a half ago.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: He loves playing golf with dad, he loves watching Braves games with dad and he, he's, he's a big fan of the Nintendo switch too.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: So we played, played RBI baseball or MLB baseball.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: You know, I hit, he pitches and we, we just dominate the league together.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: So love it.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so fun, so fun.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, I want to go back and talk about in time now and flex capacitor for those scoring at home with back to the future reference.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Talk about what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact your parents had on you.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Now that your father I I had a pretty great childhood.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I was very blessed, grew up middle class right, had everything I wanted.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: We grew up in Peachtree city, georgia.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: For those that don't know, there are 100 plus miles of golf golf cart path through the city.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: It was a planned city in the late 80s, Big Delta hub.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: It was about half an hour south of the Atlanta airport, so you had a lot of Delta employees or airline employees, a lot of pilots.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: My dad happened to travel a lot so he was gone three, four days a week.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: So being close to the airport is how we ended up there.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Dad was gone a lot, but I don't really remember him being gone a lot.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't really realize.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: That tells older, you know, because he was always there when it mattered, which was pretty cool.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: You know, parents parents were great role models.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I had a great, great marriage, very supportive, and then in seventh I think going into sixth grade, my dad was with the company for 18 years and my dad lost his job and I didn't understand all the details at the time.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Right, they protected me a little bit from that, but I remember for the first time not being able to do something right, like Timmy asked me to go to Six Flags and mom and dad said like no, we can't do that.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, wait a minute, what do you mean?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: And so you know, if you think about it, sixth grade, like that's material possessions, right, like like new, new sneakers, you know backpacks, all that stuff.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: And so I remember, you know that kind of impacted me, right, and watching you know how my dad navigated, that I remember them making sacrifices and to this day I still remember seeing a check on his desk.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: He probably didn't know, I probably wasn't supposed to see it, but there was a check that was made out to the church.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: And you know I was partially like what's going on here, man, like you can't, I can't go to Six Flags and I can't get new shoes, but you're giving this to that.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: And you know that created a learning moment for me and my dad and he, you know, shared his faith and what you know, just staying true to that.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: And that was this instrumental, you know, just pivot point in my life, right, like I just remember it like it was yesterday, and it also taught me and you know, things were never really the same financially, like we were always taken care of, but it's just different, right, and they had to move and dad bounced around a little bit and you know they moved to Florida and so it was, you know, childhood home, bye-bye, right, and so you know it's just, everything's different, everything changes, and it was just a good humbling reminder that you know, even to this day.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: You know it's funny, like my dad was there for 18 years this is my 18th year Like there's no guarantees in life.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Don't jinx this.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, right, right.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Well, he's a good employee, Keep him around, yeah.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: So he probably played more golf than me.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: So maybe that was a correlation, but but I my dad was a great father, Mom was a great mom, I have a brother, so it was you know.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I got no complaints.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I was a great kid too, Don't get me wrong.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't give him a big worry about right Like I was, you know, but no, not really, what was dad's job?
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Dad was a vice president of sales for the Southeast for SC Johnson WACS.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: So if you remember like he used to sell, you know like rate rate and glade and you know bug spray and all that stuff, you know the plugins for your house and that's what he did.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: He was always in sales and I, you know he inspired me, right.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I just saw that and I wanted to be.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: He was always doing cool stuff Like he he'd always.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: He went to every NBA All Star game, he went to Super Bowls, you know, and he got autographs and I just thought that would be cool.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: You know, of course I had no idea the dark side of sales, but until everything went down, you know, and and so I was kind of blessed also getting into sales, which is a tough industry, and staffing that there's.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: There's a dark side of everything.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Right, there's a good and bad about about every, every profession, and you just you need to, you need to know what it is and and the pros have to outweigh the stuff that could happen and you have a backup plan if it happens, right.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So you know, I just thought I'd always be in a suit and tie like dad and carry around a cup of coffee, and I was until you know 2019,.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I was in a suit and tie and then everything changed.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Thankfully, you were a suit and sweat shorts.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I still.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I may have so many suits and ties, I don't, I mean.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: What am I going to do with them?
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: And how about mom?
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: What was mom Mom?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: mom stayed at home, Mom was mom, was a teacher before she was a mom, and you know my wife stays at home too, so you know now I understand how much work that was for mom.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Hardest job on the planet.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: It really is Like I tell my wife all the time like you might be able to do my job, but there is no way I could do yours.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: So I think you know mom did go back to work when dad lost his job, which was just seeing her be supportive, and you know we were kind of on our own, like coming home to an empty house for the first time, and just you know just that that was a different dynamic.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: But mom is just, they're still to this day.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: They just moved up closer to us about two years ago and they've been such a blessing to have close by.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I remember you know, just I'm so embarrassed, like in my younger years, to just want to be away and be on my own and you know, probably wasn't the best.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: That's staying in touch and that's another wonderful thing.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: My wife influenced me, is is, but it's hard to imagine us, you know, with with three kids and the things that we've been blessed opportunities to do and spending time together without their support to help us out or come in and just have a relationship with their grandchildren.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: It's been really cool having them, you know, 10, 15 minutes away.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Now, do you remember?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: How long did dad eventually go back?
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Did he change career?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Did he change careers or stay in?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: sales.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: He stayed in sales, but it was I mean, he was out of work for a minute, it was, it was over a year, there was significant impact there and always stayed in sales.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Eventually, he went to work for a really small company that I think he had part ownership in, which was really cool, because, you know, when I graduated college and started looking for jobs, you know IDR was was, you know, pretty small company.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: You know there's eight people, and I'd already I'd always, you know, saw myself at some big company, you know some Fortune 500 company, like dad at the time, and you know, dad really gave me some, some good advice on the differences between a big company and a small company.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Right Again, I had an objective you know, here's what, here's the good, here's the bad and kind of gave me the confidence to go with IDR, even though it wasn't really sexy and it was staffing and recruiting, which I didn't know what that was, even though, like, I just needed a job or it was 2005.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: And and so he's he's always went in sales and he's we've always been able to talk about things, no matter what deal I closed.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: He's always closed a bigger deal though.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: So there's no sense of, you know, trying to one up them.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Don't go fishing with them, right?
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Exactly, have you ever sat besides me asking this question?
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Have you ever, like you and your brother or maybe others in life, ever sat back to talk about, like the impacts that had on your relationship with your dad?
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we've talked about it.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, it's my brother's birthday today, so happy birthday to Brett, if you ever listen to this, happy birthday, I'll text you later, promise I'll call you.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we do, you know, because me and my brother are very different.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, we share a couple core values and and, but we were just wired differently.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Right, my brother is a saint.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: My brother just got back from Guinea as a missionary in in in in Africa.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: He lives in a small town called Harlem, georgia.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: He's a school teacher.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: He's, he's, he's, he's a simple man and I've always been inspired by him because he just, he's awesome, he just does great work and great things for his community.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And you know, he's, he's taller than me, he's bigger than me, he's stronger than me, so he's always been like my, my, my little big brother.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: But, yes, when we do get together, those are things we, we naturally gravitate to is, is, is, is dads actually always a topic, right, and it's, and it's fun, it's great, you know, seeing that.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: How, as you, as you think back now that you're a dad, do you remember your dad like being humble enough or vulnerable enough to share, oh my God, what the hell happened?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Or or was it more like protect, let's hide.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Let's don't talk.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Let's, let's protect the kids.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I think dad it was.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I think I think I was protected a lot.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: You know, dad loved being viewed as strong, right, but it was funny because dad was the emotional one, right, dad cried mom didn't, right, mom like Guilty, oh, we were so scared of mom.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: But dad was like nah, like we got this right, like he was a big teddy bear still this day, but he was.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, we do like weekly devotions and so we'd have deep conversations.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't until like post-college, did I think, he started opening up about more of that stuff and you have to ask him, right, it was still a little bit reluctant about it, but I know again, like I wish that he knew, like there's nothing that you could really say that would change anything, right, but I'd say the most part, we were probably shielded a little bit.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think both are.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: You see that by a lot, I think it's you hit on something that made me think about, kind of one of the reasons why I started this podcast almost four years ago is about getting dads to be comfortable, about talking and opening up and asking for help, and I think it's so important if there's a dad listening at home right now that maybe just went through something like this.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I would encourage you, like you're not the first, not the first to lose a job, not the first or the last.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: And in the journey of my mom as an entrepreneur which I always kind of surrender to the fact that really wasn't I didn't plan on it, it just kind of keeps happening and there's many days I ask for help and I've kind of trained my mind.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Whenever I have to ask for help, I go to my, I make sure I share that with my kids just to know that like, hey, it's okay to not know everything, but let's go do something about it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, and I've also learned to get really good at apologizing to my kids, right, because I'm not perfect, like I fail in every role I'm in daily, right, as a leader, as a husband, as a dad right, we just fail and I think you know just being able to just humble yourself in front of your kids or in front of your wife.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Your kids see that, right, just saying, you know, even if it was for me, it's my wife was listening.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: She's probably like, yeah, right, like maybe two days later, but still, you know just being like listen, I'm sorry, or overreacted, or I shouldn't have done that, that was not okay.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's all about you know just those deposits, right, because I know my tendencies.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Right, I know when I'm gonna do something, right, so I have to really focus on making those deposits.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: So when I'm not perfect, right, which is most of the time you know we can work through that, right, we can, you know, move on.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Actually in season one I interviewed one of my buddies on the power of apologizing and why it's so important and what a gift of now if we're apologizing every hour.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Probably that's a bigger problem you have to deal with, but like, what a gift of saying you're sorry and admitting you're wrong and admitting that someone else might have been the right and just saying, hey, you're gonna work on it and which saves so much time, so much energy and you actually feel better about yourself but just doing the right thing.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: And yeah, just I mean teaching your kids how to do it right.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I mean just in this culture, right, it's just ownership, ownership, ownership, right that's.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: You know, just that's okay, that's a cool thing to own something, good or bad, right, like, just own it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as you think about, you mentioned values you and your brother share, but as you think about the values your parents taught you that you're like, that you still to this day think about that are maybe important for you and Erica, now that you're raising your children, maybe talk about what two of those two or three of those values were and why they were so important.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think one of those values was probably just going to church.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Right, it was, we went to church on Sundays and that's something I always remembered and it came first, right.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: And so, you know, the sacrifice of, you know, missing a ball game or doing this, right, you know, there's those creative questions and you know this is what we do and this is why we do it right, that was something that had always stuck with me, I think.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I think dad's involvement in our lives, you know, it could have been just doing things together, right, dad, always, you know, made time for me and mom did too, right, but dad would take me golfing we did a lot of trout fishing up in the North Georgia mountains, like every chance he could he'd spent time with me.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Right, those were memories.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Right, and I know, now, being a dad, like he stopped doing something else, right, that was definitely interrupting something.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Right, dad was always great about, you know, making time.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I just, you know, just looking back, just even just providing, you know, just, we had everything we needed, you know, I mean, and it wasn't crazy, you know, it wasn't luxurious, right, and not all the bells and whistles, but it was great, you know, and I know we worked extremely hard to do that and I understand the pressures, right, you know it's just again.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: There's like so many things, you know.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I just remember like having kids and like going back and be like mom, dad.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, right.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, especially when they get the teenagers like, listen, I didn't do this, did I?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh yeah, I am so sorry, right.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Like just understanding fully, like they were great, but knowing now more what they were up against, you know, and just the relationship you know, how they treated one another and how they honored each other, was a great example for me and my brother to follow, which I think is probably plays a large role in us us having, you know, wonderful spouses who support us, which it's so hard to be successful without that type of support, 1000%, and it's a good reminder, dads, that the kids are always watching, and I love that.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: even you're married 13 years you remember that you're how your dad treated your mom, which I think is one of the most important things we as dads can do is, you know, model the behavior we expect.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: And it's easy to say these things, but if we don't follow it up or we, you know, snap at our wife, or if we're gonna apologize, I sometimes, if I'm not my best version of me, I apologize to Carrie.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I'll tell the kids hey, dad was a hole last night.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, that was embarrassing.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Not okay, not cool.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: You know, and it's almost like it's a double, double sit in the pain moment which changes the behavior quickly.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, double whammy, you know.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: So are you with Lillian, are you?
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Did you adopt Lillian or just stepdad?
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: No, I'm stepdad, I'm whatever, whatever she wants me to be, right, I love her and I'm here for her and she's, I mean, she's just such a blessing, right, she, I mean, taught me how to grow up quick, you know, and I needed that and I had a brother so I was never around.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: You know, young girls, right, I just, you know, and just like, learning patience and empathy was like so hard, but it has served me, I mean, just so well.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Right, like I was a pretty raw staffing dude, you know, and and she just Broke me, right, you know.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: But no, she's she, she spends the majority of her time with us and you know I, she's, she's one of the the most strongest world independent.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, she's just she.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: She can do anything Self-taught, or do the guitar.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: She, I want to play the guitar.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Next thing, you know, she's Invited to sing at a wedding or singing it.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: It's just like, you know, she's, she's, she's very talented.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: When you you said a couple words I love one is a gap of mine.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: Patience, I'm always trying to become, find ways to be more patient, but empathy I think empathy is what you know call, like the Maya Angel experience, how you make people feel when they leave, showing compassion, curiosity.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: If you can think of a story that you feel comfortable sharing, maybe describe in an example where you you learn to patience and empathy that might resonate with other dads at home.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I mean Just what.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: What jumps out to me is, you know, the bedtime routines, right?
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I mean being in your.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I had a house, I was by myself and so I had all this freedom and space, right.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: I remember like there was a room I never even been in before, you know, and Hello everybody.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for beeline.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: For more than 20 years We've been helping fortune 1,000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: In fact, beeline's history a first to market innovations have become today's industry standards.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: I Get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: And I say this it's simple.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: The guy flat out gets it.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Relationships matter.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: His down to earth presentation, his real-world experience applied to every area of our business.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: In fact, his book when the relationship and not the deal has become required reading for all new members of the global relationship management team.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: If you'd like to know more about me or about beeline, please reach out to me on linkedin.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: And if you don't know, casey Jay Cox, go to Casey Jay Cox, calm, and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: Just just a, you know, sleeping with a different stuffed animal all of a sudden.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: And it's name and why did you name it that?
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: And you know, good night, good night, I love you.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Sweet dreams, sweet dreams, right, and it was always like this game, like she had to have the last word, right, you know?
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: And?
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: And so, you know, in a course, in and out of the room, in another room, in another room, in another room, and it was just like from day one, right, and and I fought it, right, it was like I found myself being like, am I trying to be right here?
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Like what are we?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: What are we doing?
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: You know, and I don't know why that story jumps out out to me, but I feel like she's probably testing my patience more now at 17, and she did it at three, but it's, I mean, I always, I try to remind her all the time, like she just made me such a better person.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: You know, without her, I I don't know, I don't know.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Right, sometimes you need to be pushed.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: And she pushed me and she challenged me, and you know I love her for that.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Well, what's what's the hardest part?
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Um, just because I mean my, both my kids are from Terry and I but like, what's the hardest part of?
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: I asked this like really naively brand, like like having being the dad of a stepdaughter and then being a dad of kids you created, like, like being able to like love them unconditionally?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: The same, if that's something you can do.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I, I think, I think you can, I think you can.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Um, I mean, it's weird, it sounds weird, but I see parts of Lillian, right, I, I, it's a gentle reminder, like how much influence you have.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and so I'll see something or a mannerism or or a word or communication and I'm like Sounds like me, you know, or I, I thought of that.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you know, that's awesome.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Um, no, you, you can, because I mean there it's, there's still a wonderful blessing, right, and, and she's, um, she's.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: You know, I learned early on like families and I, I judged early, right, I was.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: You know, that's that's the way I think you know these things happen.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Right, you know you have a plan and it's like, nah, that's not what's gonna happen, right, and and so, um, it was you.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Just, I learned early.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: You know families come in all different shapes and sizes, right, no, no, you know that that stuff, you know, does it matter at the end of the day?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Right, um, and it definitely has its challenges, right, I mean, early on, it was really hard, you know, just, um, working through that.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: You know it has a has an impact on your marriage, has an impact on on your finances, right, um, it has.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: There's just, there's just there can't there's another level of conflict and friction, right, um, but the way I I saw it is again, it was opportunities to to Grow together, to, to get closer.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Um, we look at back at you know, it's just anything like.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: You know, those, those the hardest times, are always the most beautiful, right, and, and, and that's where we've worked through a lot of stuff.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I mean it.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: It allowed me and my wife to to work together and and and and rely on each other.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Um, it, it, it, you know it really kind of challenges your dadhood, you know, like you know, and, and I've always done everything I can to um, treat it no different, right, and and and early on, you know, you know my wife would always be like wow, you know call him dad.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like nope, mm-hmm, like that's, she will come to that, you know, if she comes to that, if she doesn't come to that, but that's fine, she has a dad.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I'm actually not her dad.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Like it's, it's okay.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Like I, you know, I, I just want to be an influence, I want to be here.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I just want to love her, you know, just want to give her the best, best, you know, life possible, um, and and so that's.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: That's kind of the approach I've taken.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: I don't Write it wrong, I don't know what.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: I've done things differently.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely I can like and I tell her this all the time.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, right, here is I think we muck this up.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Bad, like, would not have done this and and and I've gotten really you know where we.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: You know she's at that age now we can have like real conversations, like real, real, and she's been through a lot, so it's like there's no sense of sugar coating it, right, she's got questions and it's like yeah, you know, I'm sorry, you're the oldest and I tried something and that just didn't work.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I would, your, your sister's probably not going to deal with that and it's like ah, that's not fair.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like I hear you like I was the oldest too, yeah.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: But I think what a, what a um.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: I think a couple things just said there, but one that really hit home and like right in the heart for me was Knowing that you're not it's okay not to be perfect Right and knowing that you're doing, you're being your best.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: One thing I talked a lot of people about and, like my coaching world, like sometimes we put all this excess pressure on ourselves but if we truly are being our best, that's all we can do.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: We're never, we can't control the best, but we can control our best.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Um, and I think I also love that you said you know you could have easily let your ego get in the way of saying, no, I'm your dad now I'm married and but it's like that, but you're not your stepdad.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: And One of the best pieces of advice I've gotten in my life, brandon, it's and it's so hard to get at times and so hard for me to receive at times, which is why I love it it's you can be right or you can get what you want.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: What's more important and it's a really easy answer.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: It's like I want to get what I want, but when we try to focus on being right and usually with kids, that's not always easy.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: Sometimes just the iron fist approach we might be right and we end the argument.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: But in the end, are we?
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: Are we delaying a learned behavior?
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Are we delaying an learned opportunity?
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Are we just Trying to get on to our next email because we're busy and we got stuff to do?
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I agree 100%.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Marcie Stout, ceo and co-founder of Revol Coach, a consulting and coaching company dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering well-being in the workplace.
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: At Revol Coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that KC Jaycox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the Intentional Sales Leader Mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue expectations.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: We'll also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family, health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: You can learn more about me and my work at RevolCoachcom and, if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results, both personally and professionally, visit KCJcoxcom for more information on the Intentional Sales Leader Mastermind.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: You know, and I'm a reactor, I'm an emotional leader and I've built beautiful things with that emotion and I've destroyed things, I've torn things down, and you know, and so I have to remind myself, right, you know, just to sometimes not react, you know, especially when they get a little bit older, is to just pause and like and make, like, let this thing play out a little bit right, like it may blow up in your face, but like, let's just let life happen, you know, and just and just see, and I learned like more times out of not like it.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: It's cool.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: It's just it can be in, you know, and you know we just want to control everything in that moment, whether, even even if it's like you know, just because you love them and you care, if they're safety, like sometimes, at some point, you know we're starting looking at colleges, it's like it hits you, it's like some point you're going to have to let it go, Right, so we might as well start practicing today and just see what happens, right?
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: So it's it's, it's a.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: It is a scary but fun, you know, like journey, experimental journey, you know, and you're always on your toes.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: But the other thing is like the other ones are watching, you know.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: And going back to what you're saying, you know they're watching you with your wife, they're also watching you with that older one, right?
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: And if, if, if that one, you know, can't talk to you or you know, in all this stuff, then I think that that shapes, that, that shapes, you know, their perception of how they'll approach you too.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: And so you know, a lot of times you, yeah, you just lie in bed and you're like, oh man, did I, did, I do okay, today, I think so, I hope so.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes you just got to, you just got to give it up and say all right, Surrender, Yup, Surrender.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: I did, I did the best I could.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I did the best I could today.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Mark Nussbaum.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: He's a executive at the newly formed Dexion the combination of Signature and Dysos.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: He is a fantastic becoming a friend.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I met him in his entrepreneurial journey.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: He was a former guest.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: He had a post today on LinkedIn that talked about leadership and curiosity and empathy.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: And you know, sometimes it's so easy to just respond and I actually had this when you were saying.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: It was the communication I got and with somebody one day it was like we either listened to learn or listened to persuade, which means we're not listening, we're just trying to focus on telling them how, how right we are, what we're doing.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: And then what you just said is just a great reminder of yeah, maybe you have more life experience than your kids, maybe you're right, okay, so why not teach curiosity?
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Ask two more questions that maybe get a better understanding of where your child's coming from, you know, and maybe that's a way we can kind of redirect a behavior or redirect a channel.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: And then you also made me think of another guy I met.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: His name is TA McCann.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: He's a partner at a startup studio in Seattle called Pioneer Square Labs.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: People should check that out.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: But he, his story is awesome.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: He talks about like, just like his freedom as a kid makes sense, why he was eventually a working on the America's Cup.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: I mean the stories he would have freedom that him and his brother would do.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: They'd be like hey, a storm's coming, yeah, we're going to take the boat out in the water.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Why wouldn't we Like for most parents to be like oh, hell, no you're not doing that.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: But his mom said, you know it wasn't like reckless, she would like kind of like pick and choose when to let them do these things.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: But you know, sometimes I was guilty of that and I still sometimes them.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: It's like I think of worst case scenario or like, oh yeah, I can't do that because I'm trying to avoid a trip to the ER, Yep, but if I'm, if I always do that, I'm, I'm, I'm not helping them.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I agree with everything you said.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's so hard sometimes, like to learn, like you've learned this in business, right, you've learned these principles in business, right?
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: You've been managing people for a long time and you know it's like always lived by.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Trust is the highest form of human motivation, right, I think that's.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I think that's Stephen Covey, right, which goes to your point.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Seek first to understand, right, ask, ask more questions, which I was so guilty of not doing.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: It Still am.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Like I just, I just want to just make you understand.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: You shouldn't do that versus like just listen to it, right, and what I and and and take away, even though I I fail at it, right, you do have to understand, because there's so much about their world that we don't understand, like we don't.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: It's so new and it's so different and it's constantly evolving and constantly changing.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: That, once you start asking questions and if you can build trust, it's actually kind of fascinating.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: You're like you, you guys do what it was, what and how and when.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Like you know it's.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: It's actually kind of you know, kind of interesting and cool and but, but, but, right, I mean, yeah, it's, it's, it's not easy to do, no, right?
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: And I keep talking about it and the fact you and I you know, I don't know it sure well at all, but we've had a 43 minute conversation so far and think about why does it take a microphone or a Zencaster recording studio to have this type of conversation when, in theory, we as dads, if you made time for this once a week, how much better of a dad would it be?
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: It'd be better.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: That's like.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: It's like free.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: That's why selfish, I've joked to people about I mean, it's like free therapy for me.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get these reminders.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Having having you know that that support group, that accountability group you know I don't not necessarily mentors, but just other dads to lean on has been awesome, right, and and I'm in a cool situation, right, like I do, I do this moral B strip with some, some guys every year and I think this year we had, I want to say, like six different generations, so there's like eight of us, and we had like 26 who wasn't a dad, but to like 82.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: So you had, like you know, guys, guys in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and so like.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Even that is so awesome, like just different generations of dads.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: The wisdom, yeah, absolutely, you know, just picking their brain and but but even even in your own world or community, kind of, maybe even you know, meeting people closer to where you're at is is so valuable, right, or podcasts like this, right, it's just, and and I've started doing that too Like I didn't, I didn't, I didn't know you existed, right, until Boston, which was so awesome to meet.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: You Shout out to Bullhorn and Keith, and so you know, I was searching.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know about any other dads, but I was searching.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: You know, there there are moments of desperation where you don't know what to do.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: And I'm Googling, like literally I'm like, did I just Google how to how to parent a teenager?
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Like did I just?
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, I guess it's come to that.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I did, yeah.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And so you know, you're you're looking for book, anything right, but but, but finding a source that you can just talk about it.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: And again, you're not telling me any.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: You know you're not telling me what to do, right, you're not giving me any answers.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: We're just we're just talking and I think usually you like it just kind of leads you to you know the way, you know which is which is cool, love it.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, one of the questions I was like asking dads is an area of your dad game that you know it's quite not where you want it, but you're working hard to at least admit it out loud and say, hey, I am.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I will commit to make this a better, better skill set, that it might relate to other dads at home and I'll leave my witness as a competitive person.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: You know it's coming to probably patients, patients is and I, but I think just by having the podcast talking to people about it, I think it I've slowed down to when I feel it coming and my dad rests in peace.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: Pops, he was the most impatient one too.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: So now that I've gone first made a little bit easier for you to talk to me about an area of your dad game you're working hard to be better at.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Man, there's.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: There's a lot like I could steal yours, but I'm let you have that.
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: But yeah, that's definitely one.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: It's humbling, but I think sometimes, you know, it's not making it about you, right?
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Like my wife always says, you know she's like hey, do you want to invite so and so over, and like no, I don't.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: Like I don't want to go there, I just want to stay home.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: I've had a hard week, I just want to stay here, I just want to sit, you know, and she'll convince me to go out and I go out and she's like man, you wouldn't talk like you wouldn't stop talking, like you're like.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: You know, now you want to take over the, the conversation.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: You want to make it all about you, and she's probably right.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: You know, if there was a video camera, it'd probably be, you know, probably pretty embarrassing, but I think, just if that makes sense, like, like getting out of the way, sometimes letting people my kids, my wife have their moment, you know, not over talking them, right, not, you know, that's a lot of sales manager in me like jumping into the call and saving it, right, I don't need to do that at home, right?
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: And even if that means, like again going back to watching them fail, like oh, about the fail, I'll come in here and I'll and I'll, you know, finish the sentence for you.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Actually, here's what she's trying to say, you know, and that's just, that's just not cool, it's belittling and it probably has an impact.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: So that's that's what I'd say is probably, you know, one, one of many, but one of the things that you'll challenge me to commit to, and when my wife probably listens to this, she'd be like all right, it's out there, out there.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: But that's a good one man, I'm sure there's.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know like when I left K-Forced, got in this entrepreneurial journey, started, got into coaching, my wife was very she's like hey, we don't want, we don't need coaching, we need to be a dad and I get your excited about your podcast.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: But or you're excited about the book or whatever.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: Talk about something else sometimes and it was like exactly the punch in the face I need.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I was like that's embarrassing.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed that.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: I was like too hung on going home about it.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: I was like but she's like we're happy that you're doing it, but there's other things in life.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: And it was.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: I was like do you talk about a humbling moment?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: I needed it, yeah.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I've been there where it was.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: You know I'm sorry, are you a branch manager now?
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Or?
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Or, or my husband, I'm like Right, yeah, and it's like you know.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: But but that taught me like you, you've got to figure out a way to, to, to wind down or let go no-transcript before you get home, right, you gotta figure it out.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, it's different for everybody, but that's an important thing for dads, you know, to figure out.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: You probably got a lot going on, yep, but they need you, they don't.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: That's separate, right.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: We've gotta be kind of turned on and I was really bad early on about, you know, just taking calls at the dinner table and just like just stuff that I look back on and I'm like man, that was not good, that was not cool, right, and just trying to create that because it doesn't happen, right For dads, as young kids like it only gets harder to get to sit down and connect and do things.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: So, you know, try to set those habits for yourself and for your family early, because it's hard when to break.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: Well said, brother.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, before we go into, we're gonna learn a little bit more about your role at IDR and how people can engage to learn more about this amazing company that I've been hearing so many good things about, and then we go into the lightning round.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: But before that, if you're to summarize what we've talked about and we'll call it like two or three actionable pieces of advice that we can give other dads at home, to summarize kind of what you and I've talked about that they can use to kind of help themselves improve a little bit better and be that ultimate quarterback or leader of their home.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Brandon, tell me what comes to mind.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: There's been a lot of nuggets here.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: I know I've got a list of things to work on.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I think we hit on failing forward.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Right, it's okay, your dad's gonna be strong and you wanna be whatever maybe the provider or the protector, and I always reveled in those stereotypical roles.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: But I think it's okay to be wrong, right, I battle that all the time.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: I grew up in the sales world, so one of my first bosses, right he was, do you wanna be rich or do you wanna be right?
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: And I had a question there.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I was like oh well, I don't know, maybe.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, that was the punk.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: I was right, I actually had to think about it.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: But it's okay to show that softer side that we may look at as weakness, but it's human right and they actually connect with that.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: I think they connect with that is I found the more open and emotional I am with my kids, they're back with me, right.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: The more I hug them, the more they hug me back right.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: The more I validate or vulnerable, right, they are with me, right.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: It's reciprocated.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: So I think that would be one I don't know we didn't talk about it, but this whole thing is just kind of like inspired me to just seek more guidance.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: You know it's just to plug in more right To not try to do it on your own right.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: It's okay to ask for help and I think we're a great example, right.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Would we spend 20 minutes hanging out in the lobby?
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: Not even, probably, but that's the thing, man.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: It's like I've done it my whole life.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: Right, I mean dads, it's just immediate connection, right, it's like such a cool thing in life, right, your dad, oh cool, we're cool, we're buds.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: Right, you know what's up.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: Right, and you can just learn so much from each other, right, and I think the more different you are, the more you can learn, right, that's pretty cool.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I saw stat recently it was from Michelangelo.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: He's painted a few things, right, yeah, I think so At 80s, 70 was still learning, Got him, while at Disney he's had a few theme parks.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Then, okay for himself.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: He said curiosity is what made him successful.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: So it's like I think it's-.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: I think he failed a few times too, if I'm not mistaken.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: That's accurate.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's accurate.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: It's accurate.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: They always say I'm blanking, I can see this famous philosopher, but I'm blanking on the name.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: But he said the manor, I'll bring him because he might've been a little sexist.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: A man or woman is not judged by his or her answers, but by his or her questions.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: It's like these themes have been around forever but yet we forget about the gift that curiosity gives us, what it's externally, in business or in our families.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: So this has been helpful.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Fail for it.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: As a dad, it's okay to be wrong at times and seek help.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: That could be therapy, that could be professional help.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: That's why these professionals are in business, everybody.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: It's like and I've done multiple episodes with dads who have seeked therapy and had massive success and loved it and are like sworn by it.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: So it's like I think it's cool that you mentioned that.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, so people wanna learn more about you and IDR.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: What is IDR and why should people get excited about learning more about what you guys do?
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate the plug.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: I'll try to be quick.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: So IDR is an IT staffing agency.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: We've been in business for 25 years.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: We're headquartered here in Atlanta.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: Got my boy, will Hayes, is the COO on the IT side.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: We have known each other for 12 plus years.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: It's really cool.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Leadership's been together for a really long time.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: We're employee-owned, which is really cool.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: But I am actually on IDR healthcare.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: Back in August of 2020, I was just here's a great example of being wrong I had some employees that was like, hey, we should get into travel nursing.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: We got this opportunity and they need our help.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Let's not do that.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Let's stick to what we're good at right.
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Let's come on like be smart.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: And then a few months went by and the faucets off and things are starting to get real and I probably was at a moment of weakness and I was like, yeah, man, if you wanna go for it, fine, whatever.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: And just it started raining opportunities and we ended up winning partner of the year for this one company that we were doing it with.
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: And just because of these people's vision right, that I almost halted, I now have this amazing opportunity to be the COO of IDR healthcare.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: So we've grown to.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: Let's see, we started with about five of us and now there's close to 40 on the healthcare side.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: So we incorporated officially in April of 2021.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: So we are a subsidiary of IDR.
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: So we're all still shareholders and that employee owned is really cool to have that ownership culture.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: We have an organic model, so we're higher entry level.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I've been here since college.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I hired Will, who you've met at college at a career fair, like all these crazy stuff, and it's just a beautiful organization that has allowed me to be the best person myself, personally and professionally.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: The IDR, the healthcare side, focuses on the sourcing, retention, placement of travel, rns and allied healthcare professionals nationwide and it's been a wild ride you wanna talk about, like learning how to learn again.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: You know, after 15 years on the IT side, I could say I probably bit off more than I could chew.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I've surrounded myself by people that are so much smarter than me.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: It's been re-energizing.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: You know I love IDR but I was doing the same thing for over a decade and I didn't realize I needed this until I was like in it I'm busier and just what's that word?
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: Like just just stimulated right.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: Just I can't turn it off right, and it's usually because there's you know, tell people we're complaining about problems like listen, the only reason we exist as a company is because there's a problem right, that's why we exist is because there's a shortage.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: This person needs this person.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: This person needs a home and this is what we're creating.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: It's very fulfilling to be a part of the healthcare ecosystem.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm not on the operating table, I'm not doing what our nurses do, but we get to be a part of that solution and just, you know whether your kid was in the hospital or you have parents or grandparents and long care facilities like you just appreciate it right, and so it's been really fulfilling on the healthcare side, but it's awesome.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: I appreciate the opportunity to let me tell people about it.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: No, you bet Well, make sure they're linked.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: Your site's linked in the show notes.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure I tag you on LinkedIn, as well as your company, and I'll make sure Will's tagged as well.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: As we can give him some love too.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: It's now time to go into the lightning round, which is when I go completely random.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna show you the effects of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: My job is to ask these quickly as I can and get a giggle out of you.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: Your job is just to answer them as quickly as you can.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: All right, so that first giggle does not count.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: No more giggles.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: You once played, you once were a punter for the University of Georgia False, okay, true or false.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: You've had seven home ones False, okay.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: If I was to come to your dinner, if I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would you make me?
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: I would make you a turkey sandwich, delicious.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: What would Erica make us?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: She'd make you some homemade pasta with homemade noodles, maybe some and probably a dark chocolate, German cake and some.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: Irish coffee, dude, I'm getting hungry.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: Erica, we're coming, you're baking.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: Actually, speaking of bakers, tell me what Janelle would make us, janelle.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Janelle only issues sweet tooth.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: She'd probably make you M&M bars or something like that Done, I'm sold.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: I have a sweet tooth.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: If I went into your phone right now, what would be one song that you would be embarrassed that Will knows you listen to?
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: Let's probably say something old school like gotta listen to Backstreet.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: Boys.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: Every once in a while Do you sing out loud Backstreet Boys?
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: I have to.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: You can't listen to that in silence.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to let my boy band skills go too In sync or Backstreet.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: I have to go Backstreet man Yo geez.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm not like super part of passion about it, but I'm a Timberlake guy.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: I might go in sync.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: I'm a.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: Timberlake guy too, but I separate in sync from Timberlake right Like a huge Timberlake guy but Backstreet vibe.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe one day we'll sing karaoke together.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Keith, wait a minute, can film it be perfect Now he's singing too.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: He does have a good voice.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: That's a good point.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, the man who Knew Nothing that had Everything.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: The man who Knew Nothing that had Everything.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: Now this book is quickly getting sold throughout airports.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: It's quickly rising up the list.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: I need to know what Hollywood actor will star you in this critically-famed new movie on Netflix.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: I don't think he's my doppelganger, but he's my go-to.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: He's my boy, it's gotta be Leo, it's gonna be Leo.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: You can't I mean you can't go wrong with that.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: You actually are identical.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: You look very, very similar to a guy I play golf with back here in Seattle, like you almost would be like.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: I'm just like is that OC?
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: Is that it?
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: But it's not my guy.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, last question Tell me two words to describe Erika.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: Faithful, kind, bingo, two powerful words.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: The lighting round's over.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: We'll call the tie.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: I kinda laughed first.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: It inspired your giggles, so I think that doesn't really count, so maybe I lose.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: Then it's been a blast talking to you, as I mentioned before, but I showed Brandon our script, which is a blank piece of paper.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: I now have, as I mentioned, two full pages of notes, which means I learned a lot today.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: Hope you guys at home always take notes, because these episodes are so much gold in here for us to just learn and be better versions of ourselves, better dads, better husbands, better friends, better leaders.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: I wanna give a huge shout out to Acme Homes.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: You guys, bobby coming.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you, brother.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: Thanks for all your support, thanks for putting your name behind this podcast.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: And Latitude Sitka, latitude 57, my guys, asam and Anthony, and team up in Sitka, alaska.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: I appreciate everything about you guys.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you for your support.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you for creating this experience for people to go up to that beautiful island.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: You have to give amazing retreats fishing expeditions, and just seeing Alaska is just fantastic.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: So, brandon, I wanna say thanks again for your time.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: Thanks for spending it with me on this late on a Monday evening, but I appreciate you spending time on the quarterback, dad cast.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: I know this will not be the first time we talk.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: Appreciate it brother Worth, every second man.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you and everything you're doing, and thanks for letting me be a part of it, you bet.