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The Team Behind Celebrity Apology Videos · Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: today on the show. You know them from the work
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: they've done, and the work they've done is.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Covering up for people who did wrong. That's right.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Today we're talking to the people behind apology videos.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, my mistake, oops, my bad. These are just
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: some of the phrases that famous people say in apology videos.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: But crafting those phrases is an art born in and
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: of itself.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: But how do you say the perfect apology? Well, we'll
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: dive in deep to choose those words to say I apologize.
• 0:44
  Speaker 5: So take out your notes app and get ready to
• 0:46
  Speaker 5: be accountable.
• 0:49
  Speaker 6: Let's begin.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Two years, can't say, let's listen in we've been doing
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: this for two years. What are theys gonna get for
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: lunch today?
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: I love Mendocino Farms, and I hope I'm gonna go
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: get Mendocino fared.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I think we should get Mendocino. You know what, I'm
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: gonna get my people on Mendocino. I've got my team.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I got my team of interns. We can get them
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: on Medsino. I get one intern of Sandwich so that
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I just make sure all the sandwiches come.
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: That's awesome.
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: Should we just get about like twenty not so fried
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: chickens for the table?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Great, twenty not so fried?
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Some of them salad style. I love some of them
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: salad style. Casey's already running to get me one, but
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: I might need another.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: No. I love that that way, because we've got a
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: long day and night ahead of us, So let's get some.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: So let's get twenty not so fried, maybe fifteen sandwich
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: five salads so we can kind of share them.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Wait, hold on, hold on, let me get a pen
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and get someone to write this down. Okay, so twenty
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: not so fried, you see.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Casey, can we get a pen and then can you
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: bring us someone to write that down?
• 1:54
  Speaker 7: Okay, she's getting.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Them twenty not so fried's fifteen salad style. And then
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: should we get some curried cuscous?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: I love the curse.
• 2:01
  Speaker 6: I'd love to get some.
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: Can we get some curry couscous sandwich style?
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: That would be great?
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they just ask him, get the intern to ask
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: him to put it on some bread.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, great. I love couscous on bread. I love cousin
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: on a grain.
• 2:16
  Speaker 7: I love the way it dips.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I love the I love the way it dips.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: And also if they have any kombucha's, that would be amazing.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: I'm a big kombucha guy right now and I need
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: about three kombucha's for the rest of the day, Okay,
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: to heal my gut after I ate a bunch of
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: hot dogs. I've been eating hot dogs all week.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I hear you on that.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Hi everybody, Oh, Hi, everybody, Sorry about that.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Hi guys, Hi, I'm so sorry.
• 2:41
  Speaker 7: I'm I'm so distracted.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously, we we love that we are invited to
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: do this podcast, but we have a busy day ahead
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: of us, so we're just gonna have to fit this
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: thing in little bit.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: That's just one of the main jokes.
• 2:59
  Speaker 7: I love Burbank.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I am a massive fan of Burbank.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I just love being here. I love being here. I'm
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: obsessed with it. Okay, but as you said, we have
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: a busy day. We have a very busy day.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to get through this. Let's pound through this.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Who are we?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: We are the firm Stetler, Stetzer, Mottkorf and Kukorf and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: uh here at Stettler, stets Are Mockhorn Kukorf. We deal
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: with a lot of crisis and negotiation, and we deal
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: with a lot of personalities and images that you might
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: remember someone a certain way.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: We want to make sure you continue.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: To m hm. SSMK is kind of we are a
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: little bit of a crisis management firm. So whenever you see,
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: you know, somebody misstep, we're going to help them guide
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: them back right onto the right path.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we s MK.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: We also think stands for super super Karate Kaboo.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, s SMK.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: S sm K stands for super super Karate Kaboom. We
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: ignore the end and make it a change because.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: We're aggressive with the apologies that we do. That's something
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: that I've always stood for and while they originally stood
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: for last names. This is what we print on the
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: T shirts and this is what keeps me coming to
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: work every single day.
• 4:17
  Speaker 7: It's the company culture. It's the karate chop.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: Through the scandal, we are shopping it in half and
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: we are getting back to work.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: What I love about our team is this is what
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: working in this specific area of media and our team specifically,
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: it's like you know, when you're watching Law and Order
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: and someone goes missing and the first twenty four hours
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: are crucial and once you pass those twenty four hours,
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: suddenly the job is harder and less immediate. But in
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: the first twenty four hours, finding that missing cat, finding
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: that missing woman, that's when the crisis team comes together.
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: And that's what it's like.
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: We are constantly putting out fires the second they go out,
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: and then once they're out and they're out longer than
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: a couple of days, the job seems less important.
• 5:06
  Speaker 7: And we did find that missing woman. One time.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: We never found the cat, but we did find that woman.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: We did find the woman, and that was a great
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: day here in Burbank.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: That was a really crazy day because we were originally
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: apologizing for an influencer who was accused of train theft,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: and through our research and through our briefings and through
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: our due diligence, we found a woman who had been
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: hiding on that train. And then so that it was
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a really cool way that we got to spin the
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: story because basically that guy wasn't going to apologize, then
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: we never would have found that woman. And so they
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: were like, thank god I did this because I'm actually
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: a good guy.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and now that man, that man, that man grew
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: up to be Stephen Hawking Son and he is on
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: the path to do great things. He's on the Peabody track,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: He's on the Midbell track. And we've gotten right right
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: back where he needs to be flipped, his orient his
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: reputation upside down, and we're back on the train.
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: A guys, let's before because we have tons of these
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: stories and I can't wait for these listeners to hear
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: these stories of just like, but let's go around and say,
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: like how we found each other and our names, because
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: I just think that before the apologies even began, something
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: else special happened when the four of us started working together.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I can start.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: My name is Mickey Kukorf, and I am one of
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the partners here, as we are all partners. And I
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: got into this in a very circuitous, interesting way.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I got into.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: This because I had some stuff I needed to atone for.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I had some things that I couldn't apologize for in
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: my life and some images I couldn't fix because everybody
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: that I needed to apologize to was dead and it
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: was very sad and it was very upsetting. I well,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I'll just bring it up. I was the sole survivor
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: of a plane crash that I was responsible for, and
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, and I made some mistakes and
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: basically I ran into the cockpit, I started pressing all
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: the buttons I could, and I crashed the entire plane.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: That was crazy. I mean, it was just I don't
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: know if you guys know the timing of this, but
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: it was just around the time of Balloon Boy, when
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: that boy was supposedly up in a balloon, there was
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: the airplane tween, and that was actually you.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: And you wouldn't have heard of the airplane tween because
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I actually innately, kind of instinctively started spinning it almost immediately,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: so you guys in the industry know, but as soon
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: as it started coming out, I found ways to play
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: kate and move and shift it.
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: It's almost like you're a nepotism baby where you grew
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: up in this business.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my parents are crisis. Yeah, my parents are crisis,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: and so I get to do this.
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: You know, crisis and apologies since you were seven. It's
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: absolutely incredible.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I want to point something out and that what Mickey's
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: doing is so masterful because even right now this is
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: a spin because he is telling us this in very
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: overt terms and he's not sugarcoating it. Whereas this is
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: what can happen ten years after a crisis, right, you
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: don't have to sugarcoat it anymore, and we actually trust
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: you more for it, We actually like you more for it.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: But in the beginning, you do have to play those cards.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: You do have to play I was a kid, you
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: do have to play where on my palans you do
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: have to say stuff like that.
• 8:33
  Speaker 7: But now you get to play the card of.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I'm an adult. Wasn't I a bad kid? I was
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: a bad person. It's like when prisoners get tiktoks. Everyone
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: flocks to those people because they admit they're wrongdoing. And
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: that is a very interesting shift in this industry.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: And I do just want to say I also just
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: want to add to that. I agree definitely. Let's be clear.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: You know we're lifting the veil behind the curtain. These
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: are tactics. I also do mean it, and I just
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: want to make sure people know.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: That that is such an incredible spin, that makes what
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: a spin?
• 9:02
  Speaker 7: What an amazing way it is that I mean, I
• 9:05
  Speaker 7: mean it, I mean.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: What does he mean? What does he mean?
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: He has said, Oh, I love when we're sitting around
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: a table and we go, what about a good spin?
• 9:13
  Speaker 6: To this when they say I mean it, and I
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: love that spin.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Totally good spin. Thank you guys, Thank you guys so much.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: My favorite spin on that was when Logan Paul was
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: accused of eating the dog and we made him say
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: I love dogs and I mean it, because then you
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: don't know, you don't know if you get you kind
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: of give him a wiggle room of he doesn't have
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: to say he doesn't eat dogs. He just loves what
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: he eats. Potentially, you know, That's what I loved.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he might love eating dogs too, so he's not
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: implicated in any way, you know.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: And we know the answer to that question.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: And we all know the answer. It's very obvious in
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: his videos which way that spins, but I won't tell you.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: So my name is Dicky Matzer. I kind of fell
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: into this business. I actually speaking of Logan Paul. I
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: was the person in on Logan Paul's team. I was
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: just an intern with him and I told him to
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: go into the suicide forest and make a video and
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: that went really south, really quick. It was a learning
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: experience for all of us. But through that I really
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: helped him figure out an apology. And now cut that
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: out and now he's richer than ever. Isn't that fantastic?
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: It's really awesome, Dicky.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: We we like to kind of consider you here at
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: a settler's Stetzer, Mattso and Kukor as you're kind of
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: our devil on the shoulder.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: You kind of lead people to water.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, and I just want to point out I do
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I have noticed that cough getting a little bit stronger.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: No, I told you to cut it out, and so
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: we're going to cut it out.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: So I just wanted to bring that up because I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: wanted to get a check on that because just industry wise,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: between us, you know, sometimes the stuff we suppress ends
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: of coming out in weird ways.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: So I would just be careful about.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Are you saying my deeds are coming out in the
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: form of a cough.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I would keep an eye on it. I would keep
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: an eye on it. It's not something a doctor could diagnose,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: but I've seen it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: Maybe I am the one. Look, I'll be honest, I
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: am the one. Sometimes business is slow and we need
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: a new need, a new client, So I'll go to
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: clients and see what they're doing and see if I
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: can push them into something that they need to apologize for.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Right right.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: And see this is why I circle back to the
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: nineteenth century medical perspective on coughing about how it is demons, right,
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: because I do believe, as Mickey was saying, there is
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: darkness in you, Dicky, there is dark And I gotta say,
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: I fucking love it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: I fucking love it too.
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: I Mean it's like it's like there's blood on the
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: money we get, you know what I mean, because that
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: and that was at your sacrifice. And I'm so glad
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: that you are circling back to the demons in the
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: cough because we circle back to that quite often.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: H I mean, it's a classic tactic blaming demons. That
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: has been something that your firms have been doing for
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: the twenties.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, if we talk when we look at what
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: happened in one ad, right, we're going after Christ, We're
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: going after everybody.
• 12:13
  Speaker 7: What is the target?
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: It's demons, it's evil, it's Satan, it's oh my god,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: what's the Spanish Inquisition?
• 12:20
  Speaker 7: What are all these things?
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: Why do people die in Europe all throughout history?
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: Demons?
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: And that's I think Europe is still trying to figure
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: that out. Why people are dying in Europe and It's like, honestly,
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: you just need to know it's You can write it
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: off the demons. You can probably write it off as demons.
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: Which they do.
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: And I mean those biblical plagues, I mean those are
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: the those are the fabric of our industry.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: Right, we learned just the fabric of our industry.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: How God apologized, how even he didn't even apologize and
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: still is so believed in after what He's done to
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: the world is the fabric of our industry.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: An unlivable planet for us, full of torture and death
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: and pain and disease, and yet we beg for more.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: We get on our knees and we beg for more. God,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: We say thank you.
• 13:08
  Speaker 7: He drowned here.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: He drowned every living thing. He drowned every living thing
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: on the earth.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And the spin that he gave was I'm making things better, Yes,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: And that is.
• 13:21
  Speaker 7: The best pr agent of all time.
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: He really is. And let me say that is how
• 13:25
  Speaker 6: we learn. Those are basics.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: If you're talking to any any apology PR firm, you
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: are looking at the beginning the classics. The ballet answers
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: do position do all those different types of positions? I
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: don't know what their feet that's those are arps.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: We should talk about screenwriters. Screenwriters have saved the cat.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: Pr people have the Bible. It's one and the same.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: On our list, our reading list, I would say that
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: the Bible, the Art of War, the Scarlet Letter.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Those are my three that I think.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: And then I'd like to add a Caroline Callaway's book
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: because I like it.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: And great book, A great book. That's a really good book. No,
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: but we cut you guys off. You guys should introduce yourselves.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: Please introduce.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: I'll go ahead and I'll introduce myself. I'm I'm Dana Seltzer,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: and I uh am a, I'm a I'm here on
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: the team on Seltzer, Seltzer, matseror.
• 14:20
  Speaker 7: And we all.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: And let me just say I love this group of
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: people so much. I was the last to be brought on.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: I actually uh uh. Dicky and Mickey were having a
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: shrimp cocktail at a at a Burbank happy hour and
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: I was there for something else, talking loudly on my BlackBerry,
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: and uh they said, you know what, I think that's interesting.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I think the way that you're talking on that phone,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: we want to.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Be so loud. It was so loud we're we're at
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Porthos having a shrimp cock and they make it special
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: for us because.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: They know what we do.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: We spun some stories for Porthos, so they make us.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Really, they really like you over there. It's great saying
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: that nobody knows what they did.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Let's just say we give him a call.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: We say, Selena, we are going to have some shrimp
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: in about twenty minutes and they'll have it ready for us.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Latte, my favorite breakfast.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, you guys have really turned me on to that.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: It's it's the Burbankquevos rancheros is what I like to
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: call it.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: So is yelling on her phone, yelling on it. This
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: woman feels like she knows how to come on hard
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: and and how to hit a problem straight on and
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: not be afraid of it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: And the funny thing, at the time, I wasn't even
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: yelling about pr or about apologizing.
• 15:54
  Speaker 7: I was yelling at my.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Neighbor because I thought he stole my grass but id
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: that I had already mowed it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 7: And that's where it went. It went back into the
• 16:04
  Speaker 7: lawn machine.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the mower. We walk in. This woman is yelling
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: on our BlackBerry. Third in line, going you stole my grass.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: If you didn't steal it, where at the top of
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: my grass go and.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Exactly matter can either be created or destroyed, So where
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: to go?
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: But also what I'll say about that, and when I
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: was drawn to when I saw that, and I said,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I love her. I love this woman and I need
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: to work with her. Number one, she's a woman who
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: knows what she owns and knows when it's missing.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And number two, she's.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: A woman who has her neighbor's phone numbers, which in nowadays,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: in current time periods, people don't have connections like that.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Right, she's out here exactly hitting the pavement. She's getting
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: to know people.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: She actually makes connections with people you wouldn't actually normally
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: make connections with. So I knew that she was gonna
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: be important for our team because that's what we're doing.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: We're making leads, we're making it.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: That's my man's I'm so glad that you uh that
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: you pick up on that, because that's my perspective. I
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: fully believe I will never own an iPhone, I will
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: never on a computer. I don't watch TV really, I
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: like to keep myself in the real world, so I
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: keep I've stuck with a BlackBerry, and I purposefully do
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: not engage with the Internet, and I think that makes
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: me better at crafting these apology videos that we work
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: so hard on.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: You need to be a little bit of a freak
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: to do what we do, and not being in the
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: conversation is somehow helpful in getting in the conversation.
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: And that's what I love about working with you.
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: Well, that's maybe a great transition because you're one of
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: the biggest freaks of them all.
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: Oh, hi, guys, thanks freak here. I'm Quinn Steltler. I am.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: I just love working with this group. I think I
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: found you guys. I'll say I'm a freak because I
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: started writing apologies just for fun in college. I just
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: loved and I'm a writer. I'm like, I think apologies
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: are type. I studied poetry, it was a poet major,
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: and I just started writing apologies for a book.
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: I just love writing them.
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: It's like I started writing thank you notes and I
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: was like, wait, I feel icky if I'm being grateful.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: I want to feel gross and I want to like
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: live in that space and see what that is like
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: being in saying and asking for forgiveness and declaring that.
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: I think there's poetry in that, there's a dance in that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: And that's when I started doing them for fun. I
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: never started writing apologies for actual people.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: It was fiction, no, and that's what was drawn. I
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: So we're sitting there, me and Mickey are sitting there
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: and he sends me this form spring and it's an
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: apology from the Sun to Rain. And it captured it.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: It perfectly captured why the Sun would be apologizing to
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: Rain and why the Sun is actually not at fault
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: for his actions. And we said, we got to have
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: this girl. She's got she puts pen to paper and
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: she gets it done.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: And I gotta say and Quinn, I gotta say too.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Your skills, once we started honing them and working on them,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: you have developed past just kind of fanciful, interesting apologies.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: You've kind of become for SSMK. You have become our
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you know, pre cog, you know, our our minority report
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: woman in the goo, Like you're the you're the person that.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: You're such the woman in the goo.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You're the woman of the Goo.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: And what it happens is you will craft an apology
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: kind of out of nowhere, and it will happen, and
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: it freaks me out.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: It freaks me out.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Because because it's kind of like, you know, writing obituaries
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: for people that haven't died yet the newspapers do. I will,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I will not understand how you do that. I mean,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: could you let us know a little bit, please?
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: Oh, thank you so much. I mean, honestly, I just
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: think it's the way my brain works. I see a
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: movie and I'm watching these Pixar movies sometimes and during
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: the movie, I'm just writing apologies.
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: On behalf of the characters because it brings me closer.
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: To the art and it makes me feel really close
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: to them, and I think, think what it is, It's
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: just it's just a style of writing. I think, you
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: know Sondheim writes music, I write apologies, right and I
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: and I.
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: Know that's a huge, huge comparison to.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Make, but well, I mean, you are deeply a psychic
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: medium in this way, like and I think there's no
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: shame in acknowledging it. I remember you once slipped me
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: an envelope and it was an apology and I and
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: I said, what is this And you just said you're
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: gonna need this later, trust me, And I read it
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: and it was an apology from me to a woman
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: I've never met.
• 20:32
  Speaker 7: Before, saying sorry I rear ended you.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Uh, let's make this right, And that it was my
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: phone number for a phone number, a phone that I
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: hadn't even bought yet.
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: It's just before your BlackBerry.
• 20:44
  Speaker 7: This was before my BlackBerry. I didn't have a phone.
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: I was.
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: And you changed your number when you finally got a
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: phone number.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well I changed my number every time, just
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: just in case. But Quinn, you're you, You are are
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: quite literally the profit of our time.
• 21:02
  Speaker 6: And I appreciate you, guys.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: And but that's what I love working about at SSMK
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: is that I'll write something that maybe is a little
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: too artsy fertsy, and Mikey you'll come in there and
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: you'll take Mickey. You'll come in there and you'll take
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: a big, like corporate dump on it. You'll take out
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: some of those metaphors and you'll say, let's let's make
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: it dry, right, And.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I think, focus up.
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: And I think.
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: That's how we work on these together, right, is that,
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: like sometimes I'll get too much in the weeds and
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: I'll write something similar to the sun apologizing to rain,
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: and then you guys go, know, this guy cheated on
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: his wife. Yeah, and then and we'll get out of
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: the weeds in that and that's how we work together.
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: And I really, I really love that.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to get too far away from
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: this because you mentioned this lightly your your apologies between
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Pixar characters. I'd be remiss if when you didn't talk
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: about your apology from Mike Wazowski to Boo And I
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: was wondering if you want to read that to us?
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: Could you? Could you just read that to us?
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 22:01
  Speaker 7: Could you read?
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: My favorite? Is uh the old man from up apologizing
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: to the young kid Kevin for his microaggressions. I loved
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: that one.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: But I'd like to hear Mike Wazowski apologizing taboo.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: Really you don't want to hear the one about microaggressions? No? No?
• 22:19
  Speaker 7: Can I put her in a request?
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: What about you?
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 22:23
  Speaker 7: Can I get all the characters of Inside Out apologizing
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: to me? Specifically to me? Or is it only to
• 22:33
  Speaker 7: each other?
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Custom?
• 22:36
  Speaker 7: Are they like cameos? Well?
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: I wrote that one for you for your birthday and because.
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: For people's birthdays.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: For people's birthdays, I say, who do you want me
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: to write apologizing to you? And it's always wild like
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: for Dickie. You wanted me to write You wanted me
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: to write Ashley Simpson apologizing to you, and that was wacky.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: Yes, I got it was so good. I felt so
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: heartfeltons And all right.
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: I'm just going to read one little excerpt of Mike
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: Wazowski apologizing to Boo. There's a difference between knowing what's
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: fearing you and what you're fear afraid of. And that's
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: the monster under your bed, the joy in your heart.
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: It moves and I feel empty.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Boo.
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: You were wronged, and that's why I write to you today.
• 23:38
  Speaker 7: I'm there.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: It's like I'm there there, It's like I'm.
• 23:40
  Speaker 7: There and monsters incorporated.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: I also want to talk about your skills are so
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I mean and we can. I would love to go
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: around and hear everybody's favorite apologies. But I want to
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: talk about Quinn's apology for that she orchestrated for Rupie
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Carr was so good.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: It was so in her wheelhouse when Rupee car to apologize, Yes,
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: when she get to apologies. When we when Rupy passed
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: our desk, we went, this is Quinn. We know who
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: this is. We're giving this right to Quinn. What did
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: RUPI have to apologize for again.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I think manslaughter, right, I think it was.
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: I think it was, Yeah, a cute manslaughter.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Accidental, Yeah, accidental manslaughter, which is manslaughter.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: Rupy was driving her motorcycle and hid an old lady
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: and and the lady died immediately. Rup.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: He's big Harley, Yes, but she so.
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: She's known for these Tumblr style poems.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, for two things, tumbler style poems, very separated, kind
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: of one words, and her giant ass Harley.
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah, her hog.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: But thanks to us, she's mostly known for the poems,
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: because the order of events should go poem, hog, manslaughter,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: and we are working to keep it that way.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: After this podcast, we're gonna definitely have something to apologize for.
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: Actually, it's actually so fun is that we we in
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: our we have a culture in our office of just
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: being ruthless to one another.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Well, we can't get away with a lot because we
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: know how to apologize so well totally.
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: It's like it's like.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: You know, how like how abusers are given the tools
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: to abuse further via therapy. We know how to apologize
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: to each other so well that we can kind of
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: do whatever we want.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we can't. And you know, I think I'm a
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: little bit beyond reproach. I don't know if you noticed.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: I'm wearing an LGBTQ hand.
• 25:43
  Speaker 7: And you got to keep that on because you and I'm.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Bullet I am bulletproof, so so you guys be careful.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I am protected. This is my Captain America shield. I
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: can see whatever I want. I want this in the courtrooms.
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: I remember once we were working on that apology.
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: I don't remember who was, but you didn't have your
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: LGBTQ handshield on and we couldn't get anywhere we get focus.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Let's be honest.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: That was for Ellen, and that was one of the
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: biggest pus in my life, the one that got away
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: for all of us.
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: Let's let's talk about the process of that.
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: Well, that was a lot. That was a lot. Part
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: of it was me baiting her into doing bad things
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: for a couple of years, because we really it was
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: like a fish that you really want to bait.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: You know, she was somebody that she was a side
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: project for you. She wasn't commissioned by us yet, and
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: we'd found out that you've been doing years of work
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: with her.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: And I remember the day when the backlash started and
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: I said, guys, it's coming, It's happening. It's about to
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: change forever.
• 26:55
  Speaker 7: You were so.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Giddy that week, the week before Ellen big the big article,
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: the big expose about Ellen dropped.
• 27:04
  Speaker 7: You were just running around the office.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: I was running around. I was running around the office
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: and a little spinny hat, just going going. We got
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: a big one, We got a big one. It was
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: I was I was so excited. Little did I know
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: it was going to lead to disaster for us. It
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: was evident.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Stuff like that. You just never know.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, we tried to get in there. We
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: tried to make some spins, We tried to really make
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: it happen, and it just wasn't going.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: And when you get desperate, you really get desperate. I mean,
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: and that's you know, half the fun and half the
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: hardness is brainstorming new ways, you know. So there was
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: We made the move to put Ellen next to George W.
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: Bush at a horse race as a pseudo apology. She
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: is every person, She's just a normal person. Little did
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: we know that would make her look like the opposite
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: of a normal person.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because then you didn't know at the time, was
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: that George Bush.
• 27:56
  Speaker 7: Did the Iraq War.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: We had no idea.
• 28:00
  Speaker 7: I didn't know that.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: We didn't know that, and so people had this negative
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: association with him.
• 28:04
  Speaker 7: It's like, oh, no, he's a bad president. He did
• 28:07
  Speaker 7: all this stuff and we didn't and that was that
• 28:09
  Speaker 7: was our bad reason.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: We work for YouTubers and actors and we're reading the
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: Bible as a textbook.
• 28:18
  Speaker 6: We didn't know wars.
• 28:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah, no, because this is our war room right now.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Our war room is us versus the American people and
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: what they see in the celebs that we represent. We
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: tried a lot with Ellen that the public didn't see.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: You're never going to see the Blue per Real, You're
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: never going to see our Blooper Real, You're never going.
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: To see the And it's a shame because it's funny.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: It's really mine flubs that really made us giggle.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, it's it's interesting working with someone
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: like Ellen and putting her with George W. Bush and
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: and it it really we had to have a big
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: meeting and I said, guys, we have some privilege here.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: And the privilege is that I don't know if you
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: could even call it privilege. We have such a skewed
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: idea of what a normal person is because we worked
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: with so many fucked up weirdos that we had to
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: sit down and we had to say, Okay, maybe we
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: don't know what normal is. Maybe we need to figure
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: out what a normal thing that other people can use
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: to appeal to m HM is. And then we had
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: to kind of restructure that, and so we did a
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: lot of recon work, and we did a lot of
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I actually sent everybody home to work live with their
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: parents for a year.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: Mm hmm, yeah, I know, it's insane.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Do you guys remember that we closed the company. I
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: turned the sign on the front of our PR FIRMT
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: and I said, we're closed for a year.
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: Oh, I'll never forget it.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: You guys moved home.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: We had to move home for a year. I think
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: there was like a global pandemic happening or something like that.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: But that wasn't the reason I did that.
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: Mmmmm okay, It was just to think about how to
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: spin ellen. It was.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: It was a special project that I think you guys
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: needed to go on.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't need to pay you guys because we were
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: on a special project and you guys need to take
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: a break and figure some things out. And then it
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: just so happened that, yeah, a pandemic popped up, like
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: within days we started out, but yeah it popped up.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: Well, let's let's this might be really interesting for the
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: viewer now of like the different types of pseudo apologies
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: you can give, because there always is and I'm sorry,
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: but there's tons of other ways to not actually ever
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: need to say I'm sorry. Like that's my favorite one
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: that I've ever worked on. Toot my own horn. And
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: we all came together on this. Philip DeFranco, he was huge,
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: huge YouTube star before he would release shirts saying make
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: me a sandwich, Make me a sandwich, and it was
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: all about women making him sandwiches. He came up into
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: us and we said, why don't you just get into news,
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: Why don't you just do news for the rest of
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: your life, And he said, I love this, And that's
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: what happened, And now he's a news guy and nobody
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: even remembers the shirts that I just brought up.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: It's basically the world's longest apology video when you think
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: about it, because he is now on video doing this
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: kind of for the foreseeable future, for seeable rest of
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: his life, and that is so true. It's the way
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: that you divert attention away from.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: These things, and that's what we're looking for in a client.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: Are you going to live in your apology or whatever
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: we tell you to do for the rest of your life?
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, it's this is the suit you're gonna be
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: buried in.
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: So you, guys, I'm gonna write that down. I love that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: Go ahead, Yeah, you should write that down. You come
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: up with that.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I do have it a neon above my head at
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: my office, but you guys can read that whenever you want.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: You.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: I love reading it. Yeah. So what are your guys's
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: favorite like kind of like types of apology or or
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: spins with that? Well?
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I love a no, go ahead, No, well, yeah, I
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: love a I love a confusing text based apology. I
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: love I love because the notes app has gotten a
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: bad rap recently.
• 31:56
  Speaker 7: You know it.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: It's seen and this is why it was designed. It's
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: a low effort, low stakes. The format itself minimizes the
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: apology inherently.
• 32:07
  Speaker 7: It says, look, you and I both know this.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: Isn't actually a real problem, right, But because I have to,
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: I'm going to write it down here. What I have
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: loved to see in the modern era is the notes
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: app mutate into something else so that the primary question
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: on people's minds is what format was this actually written on.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: I worked on the Don Lemon apology recently, or the
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: one where he left CNN where it was not in
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: notes app. It looked like he typed it into PDF
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: reader screenshotted that and then tweeted that apology. And I'll
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: tell you the truth, that's exactly what we did. But
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: we're trying to push the envelope on confusing apologies so
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: that the primary emotion when you experience the apology is
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: not the apology, not the act, not what I did,
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: it's what are they typing this on? And that's why
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: we're moving into back of candy wrapper apologies. Logan Paul
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: has some bad stuff that Dicky is working on that's
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: gonna come up pretty soon.
• 33:10
  Speaker 7: And I think we're going.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Wine glass blowing into wine glass to create text based apology.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: Q four, lookout, Q four, he's going to be apologizing
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: via wineglass bubble.
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: I mean, Dana, I loved your work on we did
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: the apology that was spinning.
• 33:26
  Speaker 6: I don't remember who it was for.
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So the whole time, you're just trying to read
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: it right, and you don't realize that the body is
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: already forgiving the person because you're just trying to figure
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: out out.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: Well, that was Pat Sajak, I thought, because he was
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: doing what Wheel of Fortune? It was a nice tie in.
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: And people really like that because they remembered.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Why it's for that, But it's really to make the
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: viewer experience so much vertigo, so much nausea that they
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: don't actually read the non apology.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: And I loved your apology, your work with Billie Eilish.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: When you did the apology in the search bar of Canva,
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: I thought that was genius because what the results were
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: coming up with. People just got distracted by what the
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: actual search results would yield from Billy Eilish's apology. It
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: was genius.
• 34:13
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and there are other uh.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: The other question on their minds, of course, was what
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: is Billy making on Canva?
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: A poster? Is it?
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: If it's a little poster, I'd like to see it.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: That's my impression of America. And that's what they were thinking.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: And now nobody remembers what Billie Eilish did. It was
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: really really bad.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: And we won't even say it, and we won't even
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: say it. It was the most fucked up thing I've
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: ever heard of my life and she got away with it,
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: and it's it's crazy.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: She should be in jail probably for the rest of
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: her life. Yeah, and no one will know that.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Well, and here's here's something I want to bring up
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: and we can.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I still want to hear everyone's preferred apology styles and
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: what they excel in, because I think this is fascinating.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I can talk about the silver the cows come home, but.
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: I do want to talk or at least until Mendocino
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: Farms shows up.
• 35:00
  Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, and I hope they do.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm getting so hungry. I need to
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: order five more salad versions of that sandwich. But what
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I will say is, uh, I think the what you
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: kind of mentioned the can babiliae eilis h.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Collab.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: There is a new form of branded apology coming out
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: and I'm really excited that this is a new frontier.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: We have been working with branded apologies where brands want
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: to get involved. They want to be part of the
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: conversation too, So we's Yeah, we've been doing integration with
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: a lot of apologies, and we've got some apologies coming
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: out with some cool collabs, and I think.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: You're gonna like it.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to be an organic. I
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: think it's going to be very interesting. Of course, they're
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: not collabs with people having done anything wrong to a brand.
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: It's more including a brand. It's like apology X Nike.
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: We've got Yeah, Keem is uh a. Keemstar is doing
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: an apology X Nike baby Keem and Keem Star, the YouTuber,
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: the YouTuber team. So there's a lot of people involved
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: in this one apology because they all did wrong at
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: a party.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: They they all did wrong at a wrong a party.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: That's another type of apology that we need to categorize,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: is they did wrong at a party.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Yes, a group of people doing wrong at a party.
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: Oh, when a group, when a group does wrong at
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: a party, I just start writing in my head.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: I can't even stop because there's so many people a
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: party and you know that you should help them, but
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: you can't.
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, they're not paying you.
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: Oh it's like a nurse on a on a plane
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: and someone passed out.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: You just can't run.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: And there was one passed out on my plane and
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I think about her every day.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you just can't when a nurse passes out on
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: a plane, you know, when you hear.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: Her a nurse on a plane.
• 36:50
  Speaker 7: Both situations I've had both happen to me.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: And every time, every time, you can't help it, you
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: can't handle it.
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: We weren't doing branded.
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: Branded stuff is happening now, Brandon stuff is happening now,
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: I mean back, thank you.
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: It's so true.
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: And back in the day, we couldn't do that, do
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: you guys remember this was one of the first times
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: I started working with you guys, when Janet Jackson showed
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: her nipple.
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, when she forcibly chose to show her nipple, and.
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: Justin Timber, they did that whole thing at the Super
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: Bowl and that was an early apology.
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: Maybe the first big Internet apology needed in a way,
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: you know, it was And yeah, we were the scene
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: behind it. Actually it was.
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: And we couldn't work with boobs or bras or or
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: work with any type of like no, because and that's.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: A hard thing because boobs aren't a brand. It's really tough.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: It's two thousand and three.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: We talked to the pasty company that created the star
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: that was on Jana Jackson's nipple. We put it on Twitter,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: they say you're welcome. That would have solved the entire thing.
• 37:54
  Speaker 6: We would have sold pasties left and right.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 37:58
  Speaker 7: A real tragedy. It's a real tragedy.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: She would have been fine, and we would have profited
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: because we do get a percentage of these brand deals.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: But now it's about it's about finding classy ways to
• 38:11
  Speaker 5: bring in the brand because I mean, you don't want to,
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: you don't you don't want to really just expose the
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: commercialism of apologies right away, right, we have an apology from.
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: Or well, I mean, Mickey, I know you've been across this,
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: but we've been developing a type of apology that the
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: scientists are not fully done with it yet. But it
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: is the combination apology product launch. Yeah, just branded. It's
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: catapulting you're wrongdoing into your own personal commercial.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Game, right we Yeah, we had this ready about five
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: years ago, but it was a botched launch with Kevin
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Spacey because he has the product he was launching was
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: being gay and he apologized for what he said wrong
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: and then he said, but I have some exciting news.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I'm gay.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: We all thought it was gonna be huge. We thought
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: it was gonna work.
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: And we wanted to do that just for the product
• 39:09
  Speaker 6: of being gay.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so we have an overall with being gay. And
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: they're great, they're they're awesome to work with.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Obviously, I look at this.
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: I mean we flashing your little badge.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: Flashing my bag card, you little it is born this
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: way and wearing this.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing we thought.
• 39:30
  Speaker 8: We thought born this way, but you bought that, born
• 39:34
  Speaker 8: this way, bought this, born this way, bought that, and
• 39:42
  Speaker 8: God born this way by.
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: This and we do we do? Uh?
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: We thought, honestly the Kevin Space apology, we were, I'm
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: gonna be honest, coked out of our minds when we were.
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: Doing that up absolutely, and as we coke like street coke,
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: we were doing streak.
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: We were so we were doing poor man's coke and
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: we're eating This is before Mendo even had a sandwich
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: to salad ability.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: This was before.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, we made ourselves with ingredients we bought wholesale
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: from the potbellies.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: It was so crazy and fucked up, but.
• 40:24
  Speaker 7: It was so wrong. I can't even tell you it
• 40:26
  Speaker 7: was wrong.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Our bodies like it.
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: Just activated cells that I didn't This street coke had
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: dust in it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: You could feel your cells being activated. That was the
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: craziest thing on a molecular level. I could feel my
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: cells go turn on in a way. And so we
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: are ordering thousands of dollars of pot belly, just saying,
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: don't bring it all separate, bring it all separate, separate.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: Everything, different driver, different driver for each sandwich.
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: Don't bring them together. We don't want to eat at
• 40:54
  Speaker 7: the same time. I can't look at the other people
• 40:56
  Speaker 7: when we're drinking.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: I'm calling them going deep fry your turkey, deep fry
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: your turkey slices and bring it over.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Stat it was crazy, I said. Bottoms, bottoms of bread,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: bottoms of bread, bottoms of bread. And the thing is,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: we thought that I.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Remember at four in the morning when we were finishing
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: that we thought that that was going to be the
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: apology that got us a POLY Award, which everyone knows
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: is the apology awards that happened.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: Every year, Apology Awards. POLY. Yeah, because they messed up
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: and they keep on apologizing every every year. That they
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: didn't take any word of the apology. They just took
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: a couple of letters of apology and skipped a bunch, but.
• 41:34
  Speaker 7: They apologized so well. Every single time that I love it.
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: Time she was like a little gold guy and it
• 41:41
  Speaker 7: looks like this.
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: He's really great.
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: And James Cordon hosts the Polly Awards every year and he's.
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: Just and Gills. He's so funny to me.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: His rap is so funny and it.
• 41:57
  Speaker 7: Gives him bulletproof.
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: He is bulletproof. And I went and I wish we
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: could get that fish. I wish we could get that fish,
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: you know, but he doesn't do it. He does it
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: by himself.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Well that's what we're gonna We're gonna send you in there, Dickie.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I think you're gonna tip him over.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: I think, yeah, I'm gonna get him.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I want to talk about some other
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: favored types of apologies.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: I just want to give a shout.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Out to something that I originated and started, which is
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: straight to camera in the whitest room you've ever seen,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: with nothing around you, vacuus space, big couch h and
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: then uh thirty, thank you for it to if we
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: can get it. Two minutes of silence before big size,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: before you start.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Nikki, thank you for giving your work a
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: shout out, because I'm glad you said that. Because I
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: think it was who was it the first white psych
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: we rented for one of those, and we thought.
• 42:52
  Speaker 6: Is it is it gonna fall flat? Like do we
• 42:54
  Speaker 6: need a distraction?
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: And that's when we realized the apology doesn't need a distraction.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: We just need that person to sit there.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: And when we try to apologize. It was kind of
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: crazy for us. It was the first time that apology
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: became simple and it changed the whole game. It changed
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: the whole game.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: Well and if you guys, if you guys recall this
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: was early two thousand. This was with this YouTuber named
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Skimpy Shanks and he is gone now. He was a
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: roadblocks YouTuber.
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he he.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately, uh has passed into another plane.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: He's kind of moved on.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: We can't speak exactly where he's gone, but he's not here,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: is all we can.
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: And let's just say it's not death.
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: It's something else, potentially something worse.
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: I wish we could tell you, but we Honestly, I
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: wish it was death for him.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: He wasn't that bad a guy. My thing so was so.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: But but what I'm saying is when we were shooting
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: that with him, we actually I remember we it was
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: young I still had all my hair then and I
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: still do. But we were in a sears and we
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: were I said, let's just film this int a sears
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: and we tried backdrops. We tried it back to school backdrop.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: We tried kind of a watery blue backdrop.
• 44:13
  Speaker 6: Back to school backdrop with the bus. It was just distracted,
• 44:17
  Speaker 6: it was strange.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: And then we finally hit on the white.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: White drop and it was so good because he was
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: apologizing for something kind of big in a way. I mean,
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: he bought a blood diamond mine and made it worse
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: for the workers. So so in order for that apology
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: to hit with his tween audience, we really had to
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: go simple and it was great. It was It was
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: mind blowing to me because I'm always a dude looking
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: for the most interesting way to do an apology, Like
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: when you do an apology, I want to be different
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: than any apology I've ever seen. You know, I wanted
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: there to be a song. I want there to be
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: a dance. I want celebrity cameos. I want you to
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: tie in a brand, whatever it is you.
• 45:01
  Speaker 7: Started upside down apologies.
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: Yes, that was my big claim to flame. Claim to flame,
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: as we say it if it takes off its flaming.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: So yeah, if but apology is really working, if the
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: sympathy is there, we say that's flaming.
• 45:15
  Speaker 7: Okay, that's flaming.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: Flaming, and I do have an issue with that. I
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: just want to bring that up.
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: I think that's okay.
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: Okay, I apologize to you later. I'll apologize.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: You bought this today, but the upside.
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: Down apology by this today, born this way, came out
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: this way, but bought this today.
• 45:40
  Speaker 6: Oh wow, God, that's that's what it's like with working
• 45:44
  Speaker 6: with four poets.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: We are just we're just bad.
• 45:48
  Speaker 7: We're bad.
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: We're bad. Okay.
• 45:51
  Speaker 5: Hey guys, Oh guys, are you seeing this in your email?
• 45:55
  Speaker 6: We just got an email.
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: Looks like okay, so it looks like Lauren Conrad just
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: did something really bad.
• 46:03
  Speaker 7: Someone's shoulder.
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, here read over mine. Sorry, These are just all
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: my Amazon receipts that my confirmation went through. I buy
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: a lot on Amazon.
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: Bra okay, Brad, Okay, Oh guys, Okay, well, this is
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: actually a great example.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Let's walk this through real.
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: Okay, Let's do it life.
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: Let's do it life, because here's what's happening, guys. This
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: is just like when a fire happens, we have to
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: hit it right away, at.
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: The first twenty four hours, the first twenty four minutes.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's look at hard facts.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: So what did what did she do? What did she do?
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: What happened?
• 46:36
  Speaker 6: Okay, it looks like, okay, we just look at it.
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: We just she someone just Okay, her babysitter that she
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: used to have sign an Nda just finally came out,
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: came forward and said that Lauren Conrad has a bunch
• 46:50
  Speaker 5: of pigs in her backyard and she makes them fight.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Conrad pig fighting ring. Let's check, Quinn. Let's
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: check to see if you've written a poem about this.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Have you written?
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: Go through.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: While Quinn is checking to see if she has foretold
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: this in one of her sessions, Let's go through what
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: we can do on the other side, right, because I
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: let's identify people who will be sympathetic to Lauren Conrad.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: It's people who hate pigs.
• 47:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, people who.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: Hate pigs, people who love bacon, people who hate peta
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: or unrelated reasons are sympathetic to the cause, but they
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: hate Peter.
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: Contrarians Contrarians who go, why is this a thing?
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: That's gonna be a huge for US lords, people who
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: would be very excited to find out that Lauren Conrad
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: feels a little more Southern than they thought she was Southern.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Thing.
• 47:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, Dicky, Dicky, now you have now while this
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: is happening, So Dan is doing that I'm going through
• 47:45
  Speaker 5: if I predicted this, Dicky is now gonna dig up
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: some shit about the babysitter who let this out.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: And yeah, so I'm going and I'm do you have
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: the babysitter's name?
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: Her name, yeah, Natasha re Read.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: I have a lot of shit on Natasha re Re.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: This is so easy a scene.
• 48:03
  Speaker 7: I got every babysitter, every housekeeper.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: In That's the thing. If you've gotta have. The thing
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: is apologies are only as worth their weight in gold
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: as if you have shit against the person that you
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: have to apologize.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: Do you have the you have the back door to
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Angie's list, So every contractor, I mean, you have everything.
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: Natasha re Re. Let's just say babysitting is not the
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: only thing she does. She also causes a lot of
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: drama with her friends.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, so she's unstable, she's a gossip.
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: She's a sale, she's a gossip. We can use this
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: also also yeah, and here a pictures on her Instagram
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: of her going to a club. Hmm, easy to spend
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: that into something.
• 48:37
  Speaker 7: Yes, yes, Sin Sin Sin Sin.
• 48:41
  Speaker 6: We got sin, we got sin.
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: Unreliable narrator, unreliable narrator.
• 48:46
  Speaker 6: Mikey are we thinking video notes? App song? What are
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: we thinking?
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what I want to synthesize with you guys.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: Let's get a quick little idea storm.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: Going yeah, and nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong. Let's just talk
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: about yeah, safe space. I think maybe we did it.
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: If she apologizes as the intro of the Hills, that
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: might be really interest.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: That was gonna be my question. What's her native media form? Okay,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: so first, how does she translate the most? And how
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: is she the most honest? She has written books, she
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: does have podcasts, she has been on the Hills. I
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: think a reboot of the Hills or reboot of uh
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: was a little Guda beach.
• 49:24
  Speaker 5: Let's get let's get EMPTV on the phone, because if
• 49:27
  Speaker 5: she wrote a book it would take too long.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: And this is what we do. We go in, we go, Look,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: you made a bad bad you know you did something.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Maybe so you're gonna have to play with us a
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: little bit, and what you're gonna have to do is
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: do seven seasons of reality show.
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: But maybe she can spin this into something where fighting
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: pigs is actually a humane thing to do. They're fighting
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: for their life.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, can we get stats? Can we get stats to
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: get the pigs were bad? Were these pigs bad people?
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh my god. It's a stunt about vegetarianism.
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: It's like that guy in Brazil who said he was
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: gonna be burry his car, and then at the end
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: he said, I'm not going to bury my car, but
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: this car is worth less than the organs in my body.
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: Everybody should be an organ donor. We spin this. We
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: spin this to say, oh my gosh, what you guys
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: care about a couple of pigs fighting when every day
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: millions and millions of pigs die at slaughterhouses. Think of yourself, guys, guys,
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: she just high vegetarian for.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: The rest Henna slaughterhouse. We put her in a slaughterhouse.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: We give her a tripod. Just as a pig is
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: getting its head chopped off. We have her address the
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: camera and she apologizes, but we can't even focus on
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: what she's saying. Because a her hair is so beautiful
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: and b the violence is going on behind her.
• 50:37
  Speaker 6: She looks better by comparisons.
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: The only problem, the only problem with that, I think
• 50:41
  Speaker 4: she might be too excited by the pigs dying. So
• 50:44
  Speaker 4: we might have to we might have to think of Okay, I.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: Have a guy, I have a guy. I have a
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: guy at a slaughterhouse. I can get her on the
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: keel line in forty five minutes.
• 50:50
  Speaker 5: Okay, great, because guys, we go. You just got another client.
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: Because mister Beasts. There's a picture of mister Beasts at
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: the at the pig racing in Lauren Conrad's backyard, so
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: we have to have an apology for him as well.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Let him burn.
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: Come on, no, no, no, this is interesting.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: This is a classic sacrifice situation. One of these people
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: has to go down.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: This is the Star Wars or the Spider Man Mary
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: Jane versus the trolley situation. One person versus a a big.
• 51:18
  Speaker 7: It's a trolley problem.
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: And this is a classic apology p RT situation is
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: we are trolley problem every day. Who do we stay
• 51:25
  Speaker 4: save Lauren Conrad or a mister beast.
• 51:29
  Speaker 7: Not worth the same?
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: And that's for work and us Lauren Conrad is much
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: more important than.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: And let's talk about it.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: Who can survive a bad trip through pr hell, that's
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: the question.
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: Who can survive with the most who is the strongest.
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: Well, maybe we could actually just as a side we
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: spin this and tie it all in and say this
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: is actually a new mister Beast video. And he invited
• 51:53
  Speaker 4: Lauren Conrad and a hundred strangers. We get one hundred
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: to one thousand new strangers, mister Beet subscribers saying we've
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: locked these people in with pigs while they fight to
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: see who walks away with ten million dollars?
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and then people learn to see. At the
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: end he gives he just takes.
• 52:11
  Speaker 7: Ten million dollars. And then and then it goes to
• 52:12
  Speaker 7: the people they see for the first time. We film that, we'll.
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: Get We'll get a thousand blind people. We'll put them
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: in this pen with the pigs that are fighting, and
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: whoever wins gets to see at the end.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Well, hey, guys, and this is the magic of span.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: What I realized is this is now not a negative problem.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: All we need to do is tell mister Beast he
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: has to say that this was a contest, This was
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: a video. This was a challenge, and we need to
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: make sure he pays a pig five million dollars. Yes, guys,
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: that's if that's the case, then we're gonna be fine easy.
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: Did you guys?
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: I hope the listeners really heard the bouncing off. That
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: was like watching the Beatles record Strawberry Fields Forever.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, And look at this quin. You just
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: sent us the apology that you had pre written in
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: twenty ten about this situation.
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: Can you read it for us?
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: So this is obviously before my besties right here, My
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: stupid fucking besties edited it because we're gonna edit this
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: because my this is really poetic, and I think it's
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: a little too poetic, especially for Lauren Conrad.
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she would never do something like that.
• 53:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, No, she's more approachable.
• 53:19
  Speaker 5: The waves crash on a pig sitting on a beach.
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: This beach is Laguna, and I am empty. I am
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: finally coming forward to own it and to own.
• 53:30
  Speaker 6: What I did. This was a stunt. I can't believe
• 53:36
  Speaker 6: I wrote that.
• 53:36
  Speaker 7: That's insane, incredible, And you.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Don't remember where you were or what you were feeling
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: when you wrote that.
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: Uh looks like I wrote it as a Facebook status
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: draft in eighth grade.
• 53:49
  Speaker 7: So many of your apology they they're they're hidden.
• 53:51
  Speaker 4: They're hidden in and you just managed to find that.
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: That's insane. How you found that in the database.
• 53:56
  Speaker 6: I just found it. What can I say? I'm Quinn.
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: So yeah, guys, that's kind of how it works. That's
• 54:03
  Speaker 4: kind of an every day saying for us. Yeah, or
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: should we say how the bacon is sizzled, you know.
• 54:11
  Speaker 6: And it looks like our mendo is finally here?
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: Look at that.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, now, let's everybody dump out the not so fried
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: feeling on the table.
• 54:19
  Speaker 7: We'll mush it around with our hands and.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: Let me lift the bread. Let me, let me.
• 54:23
  Speaker 9: It's trough time. It's trough time everyone. I'm dumping the
• 54:29
  Speaker 9: coke on top of the not so fried. Yes, I'm
• 54:32
  Speaker 9: dumping the coke.
• 54:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah, this is bad coke.
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: This is real bad coke.
• 54:41
  Speaker 6: This is bad coke and fried chicken. I'm so sorry.
• 54:46
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry as hell. I'm sorry for what I've done.
• 54:48
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: This has been artists on artists on artists on artists,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: answering the question. Now, that's why they call it show business.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Good night.
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: Sounds sad.
• 56:06
  Speaker 4: This LGBTQ Flag of my heads on a bulletproof