Latest / Grounded Growth / Prayer: Learning to Bring Your Real Life to God
Transcript
- Stephanie Petry: Welcome back to Grounded Growth. I'm Stephanie Petry. I'm Nicole Girardi. Today we are talking about prayer and learning to bring your real life to God. ⁓ Also in this episode, why prayer feels hard, what happens when we don't pray regularly, what prayer actually is, and simple ways to build a prayer rhythm. Love it. And prayer was never meant to be perfect. It was meant to be us. And I think many people struggle with prayer because they think it has to be. Nicole Mic: Nicole Girardi. Love it. And prayer Prayer was never meant to be perfect. It was meant to be honest. And I think many people struggle with prayer because they think it has to be so and instead just being real. So we're going to go ahead and dive into why prayer feels hard. Absolutely. Stephanie Petry: so sound and instead just being real. So we're going to go ahead and dive into why prayer feels hard. Absolutely. I think that we overcomplicate it for sure. ⁓ It's meant to be a relational conversation with the Lord. And so there's no really right way to pray ⁓ with the right words, the right tone, with the right structure. It doesn't have to be wrapped up in this beautiful pretty bow. ⁓ And when we don't feel like we measure up to our expectation, then we tend to hesitate, we avoid it altogether. But prayer was never meant to be about performance. It's never meant to be about this like beautiful, lyrical, elaborate thing. Instead, it's about being present with the Lord. And so sometimes we struggle because prayer requires humility. Being honest in prayer is one of those harder things to practice in your faith. It asks us to pause and admit that we don't have it all together and come before God with open hands and an open heart. And if we're used to being capable of holding things together, that can feel very uncomfortable. ⁓ it's core prayer is simply just having the Lord's ear, not because we've earned it, but because he has given it to us freely through Christ. ⁓ that prayer does change things. ⁓ always change your circumstance, it should be changing your heart and your stance and understanding through the Lord's will and the Lord's desires. Absolutely. And piggybacking off of a lot of what Safaree said is that I feel that this whole episode is going to be about my actual previous thoughts of prayer, since this is kind of like the season that I just came through. And I really felt like Nicole Mic: Absolutely and piggybacking off of a lot of what stuff already said is is that I feel that This whole episode is going to be about my actual previous thoughts of all of prayer. Since this is kind of like the season that I just came through. And I really felt like I didn't know what to say. So I felt like it needed a certain way to do things. ⁓ And I had to realize that it wasn't a performance. was a conversation I was having and that I kept overthinking the right words and ⁓ I'm supposed to say this before that. And, you know, I felt like there was just I was making it so over. Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Mic: overwhelming for me and that I was comparing my prayer life with Steph's prayer life and our friends prayer life and and Everyone's prayer life is so different and but I was giving myself that hard ⁓ you know ⁓ pressure of having that and and I felt really awkward at first and I don't know if other people did but like I felt awkward just You know an unsure of what to really say I feel like also I kind of felt like inconsistent Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Nicole Mic: and was discouraged when I missed my days. And I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, I didn't pray today. And then I like was so hard on myself and, and, know, letting that inconsistency stop my momentum of creating those, you know, normal routines. And it was kind of like that all or nothing mindset of, well, if I'm not going to remember to pray in the morning and during the day, then I'm giving up and I it's just done and over with. So I felt really guilty of not doing it when I, when I should. quotation marks should be praying because I mean there's no right or wrong time to pray you just need to pray I also feel like ⁓ I felt like I needed to handle everything myself that Nicole Ghirardi: you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. ⁓ We hope brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Nicole Mic: I didn't need to bring it to the Lord. I needed to figure this stuff out for myself. So I defaulted to problem solving instead of pausing and reflecting and talking to God about it. And I wish I would have known that so many years ago because it opens the door to really realize what ⁓ I should have been doing versus what I was really doing. So I just felt really responsible of fixing everything and I needed to stop doing it. ⁓ Nicole Ghirardi: stay grounded and keep growing. Stephanie Petry: stay grounded keep growing. Nicole Mic: And the last thing is that sometimes we only pray when things are out of control, not talking about the good things. One of the other things is is that I felt like I only needed to pray ⁓ when things were out of control. And so I felt like it was a crisis driven habit ⁓ versus really just talking to God and letting him know about the day and the things that excited me just as much as the things that were carrying me and making me happy. ⁓ So I needed to stop stressing and stop being overwhelmed with it and just talk to him. Stephanie Petry: and just talk to him. Those are such great points and it makes me so proud to see how much you've grown already in your prayer life. Dear friends, when we begin to pull away from prayer, not intentionally, but just through busyness or even distraction, it doesn't always feel like a big shift at first, but over time we start to notice the weight of carrying things on our own. So what happens when we don't pray regularly? Nicole Mic: Thank you, friends. I appreciate that. So once I consistently got into the routine of praying regularly, these are kind of some of the things that I felt. ⁓ My stress built up because I was holding everything internally. So my mental load and my emotional weight alone, I felt were so much heavier than they were when I was praying. ⁓ So I overthought about a lot of situations when I could have just sat and said a prayer and known that God has me. that I just let the pressure build and then Nicole would explode and normally what happens is is James would reap that lovely benefit of the explosion of emotions and pressure that I was carrying so ⁓ I realized that prayer really released that mental capacity for me that I was holding on to. I relied more on control instead of trust. ⁓ So I went into that micromanaging. went into that control mode for. ⁓ So I was trying to manage every outcome again and it overwhelmed me and that I just I was so outside like, you know, trying to control everything and felt responsible for everything again. And then that's when the burnout hit. And that's when I lost confidence in myself thinking that I don't know. anything and doing all of that where the perspective just got really narrow ⁓ and I started seeing situations only from my viewpoint again. And I needed to be able to release that and I was just creating chaos for myself. ⁓ And it was I lost my values, I lost my clarity and that just started operating in survival mode again. And it's just exhausting. It's exhausting talking about because I mean I lost my peace in all of it ⁓ so that was kind of my thoughts on on what what was going on with me when I when I stopped praying. Stephanie Petry: because I mean, I lost my peace in all of it. ⁓ So that was kind of my thoughts on what was going on with me when I stopped praying. ⁓ I agree with a lot of what you said, but I too realize that I am a fixer and I love to believe that I am in control of all things, even though I'm not. And so I usually will... ⁓ start to isolate myself if I'm not in prayer regularly, I will start thinking that I am in control of all things and I just keep trying to get to fix it mode. And when I start realizing that the weight is so heavy on my shoulders, it's because I'm trying to walk it alone instead of placing it back on with the Lord. So that biggest thing for me that happens slowly is that ongoing connection with the Lord in prayer in my everyday life. ⁓ And so it's starting the day with prayer. It is ending the day with prayer, but also having that continuous prayer, almost like a continuous conversation with God throughout the day. Instead of bringing things to Him as they come, I start holding on to them. And that's what I'm thinking through. That's what I'm carrying throughout the day. And I'm trying to manage it myself with that control. Over time, it creates internal heaviness. And sometimes I even think like, I feel like my light is dim, is what I would say. And one thing that I noticed in scripture, it talks about delighting in the Lord and that basically he's even in charge of the light inside of you. So it will never go out completely. then internal heaviness, those are things that we were never meant to carry anyway. So a lot of that stuff that you're carrying throughout your day that you're not bringing in prayer ⁓ things that you aren't supposed to be burdened with anyway. It's the Lord's problem and the Lord is in control of it. He's ⁓ control of the steps to get there and the outcomes. Our steps are to be faithful and to seek Him. ⁓ perspective also becomes more limited. We're not constantly bringing our thoughts and emotions before God. We start to process everything through our own understanding. And we know that we tell ourselves lies that we should not believe, that we're not enough, that we will never measure up, that we ⁓ should ourselves to death, right? Shoulda, woulda, coulda is what I was talking about with a friend today. ⁓ And another thing that I've been heavy on in my heart is that ⁓ Everybody needs grace in order to grow. And we tend to give grace to others, but not in ourselves. So if your praying life is not a regular thing, allow some grace in there and start now. ⁓ I think that when prayer shifts from being something we do occasionally to something we realize we deeply need, and that this is a relational conversation with our heavenly father, It really is a posture. It's not a task. And a book that I read and did a study with ⁓ is Paul E. Miller's book called A Praying Life. I highly recommend reading this book about prayer. It goes through all different types of prayer and also just the weight it carries in our faith journey. ⁓ It also is a podcast. Paul E. Miller has his own podcast as well. Prayer isn't meant to be a separate part of life. It is meant to be woven into your life is one of his biggest ⁓ calls in the book. And I think that's where we sometimes misunderstand prayer because prayer isn't about having the right words. It's about staying connected. So back to Steph to tell us what prayer actually is. So prayer is actually a response. It's a reflex to the grace God has given to us. Nicole Mic: And I think that's where we sometimes misunderstand prayer because prayer isn't about having the right words. It's about staying connected. So back to Steph to tell us what prayer actually is. Stephanie Petry: It's not about trying to get his attention. about responding to the fact that we already have his ⁓ I love the way that it's described in A Praying Life. Prayer is soliciting his provision and the power that he has already shown. ⁓ It's coming him not because we have everything figured out, but because we trust that does. A prayer can take forms. ⁓ doesn't have to be long or structured. It can be quiet and simple and even just a few honest words in the middle of your day. ⁓ also tells us that when we have moanings that we can't even bring to words, that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us in prayer. ⁓ can look like adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication. That's we refer to as an ACTS Prayer ⁓ A is for adoration, it recognizes who God is. Lord, you are the giver of grace. You are God Almighty. You are the God of the universe. Tell him who he is because that's gonna start reflecting back to you of whom you're not. ⁓ C is confession, acknowledging our need for him. Lord, forgive me for not seeking you first. Lord, forgive me that I have gone through my day without even thinking about you. Lord, forgive me when I am thinking that I am in control. T is for thanksgiving, expressing gratitude. God, thank you for your son, Jesus Christ. And thank you, Lord, for this situation that you have brought me in, because it's provided me opportunity. Lord, thank you for saying no to that thing, because I know and can trust you that you did it for my good. S is for supplication, bringing our needs and the needs of others to him. So supplying and providing for you. Lord, I pray for my loved ones that don't know you. ⁓ Please soften their hearts and bring them to you. Lord, ⁓ I pray for ⁓ my husband and that you keep making him a strong, godly man and that he can meet our home. Lord, I pray for, this is something we really do pray for. Lord, I pray for my son's future wife. Please instill her strongly in who you are. and start equipping her so they are equally yoked. ⁓ It can also include lament. Lamenting prayers was something that was new to me in Paul E. Miller's book. And boy, was it such a relief to know that you can have broken, heartfelt, sorrowful prayers. You don't have to make it beautiful. It is bringing your grief, your questions, your struggles and honesty before God. These are those prayers where I'm literally like on my knees and sobbing. These are those prayers where I am just so struck with sadness or doubt or confusion. And like I said earlier, where the Holy Spirit kind of has to intercede because it has to through my tears. Lamenting prayers are also in the book of Psalms. So you can find them in there too. Prayer is always rooted in truth and who God has already revealed himself to be in scripture. Using scripture as prayer is a really great habit. Start in Psalms. Actually, I'm doing a prayer challenge of 150 days and you're taking a song each day and using it as your prayer. And so today's was Psalm 94 and it was talking about God being my refuge and my rock. And then I started looking up songs about my rock. which by the way, Forest Brink has a really great one with Crowder. And like David Mathis shares in the book, Habits of Grace, another great book. These are rhythms that keep us connected to God's voice and presence in our everyday lives. So well said, friend. Well said. So I think of prayer as kind of in simple terms is it's a conversation. It's not a performance. You're speaking honestly. Nicole Mic: So well said, friend. Well said. So I think of prayer as kind of in simple terms ⁓ is it's a conversation. It's not a performance. You're speaking honestly. You're not perfecting this prayer. Like Steph said, removing the pressure and you're just talking to God ⁓ talking to your father, talking, you know, to a friend, you know, ⁓ able to just let go of your perfectionism and really just focus on that time of speaking with the Lord. I also think prayer is the connection, not an obligation. If you're just checking this off as a check mark of, I needed to pray today and it wasn't heartfelt and it wasn't meaningful, it's just not fair to you. It's not fair to the Lord. You're wasting your time if you feel like this is just an obligation. You're supposed to build this as a routine for the consistency of building the relationship to get closer to God. So choose the connection over just the routine perspective of it all. Prayer is also ⁓ processing, not pretending. So for the longest time when I really came into faith, I literally had other people's prayers that I would read because I felt like I needed something. I needed the guidance. I am a very type D person and that I needed to be able to know exactly what to say so that I wasn't doing it wrong. ⁓ Then I completely threw it all out the window after I started really talking to Steph about it all. ⁓ I just brought my real emotions. mean, for the longest time, I didn't do the acts. I literally just talked to God like I was talking to stuff across the table. ⁓ I pray most of the time on paper. I feel like the words that come out of my mouth sometimes don't get relayed right and that I can just write and beautiful words come to mind. And so now what I've realized that I started doing was is that I write it out and then I say it out loud. Then I feel like, okay, I'm doing this and I'm getting more comfortable with it all. ⁓ You know, so I feel like it's just a process and you're gonna You're gonna get to understand it and you're gonna get to your own flow and remember there's no right or wrong And last but not least I think prayer is where clarity often begins is that we're just gaining that perspective of You know what prayer looks like in our lives and what that means and that we're just slowing down our thoughts finding the direction that we really need to be and really reduce the emotional overwhelm that we get while While you start praying Stephanie Petry: finding the direction that we really need to lead and really reduce the emotional overwhelm that we get while we start praying. you said that you write your prayers. ⁓ It's a great habit have I remember when I was the book study ⁓ on ⁓ Paul E. Miller's ⁓ A Praying Life ⁓ and kind came out with a question to the of, you know, how do you pray most often? And I was like the only one that said, ⁓ I pray out loud. Like I'm literally out loud in the car with the God. And I didn't realize like, I don't know, I just assumed that's how everyone did it. ⁓ And I was Nicole Mic: assume that's how everyone did it. And I was literally like the only one in the room. And so being able to practice silently praying to try and even practice my focus because if I'm not praying out loud, like the reason I pray out loud is because it helps me stay focused. And then if I pray silently then my mind tends to wander. And so it's also good to practice the way that you're not comfortable with so that you can fine tune it and refine it because you never know. Stephanie Petry: literally like the only one in the room. ⁓ And so being able to practice silently praying to try and ⁓ even practice my focus because if I'm not praying out loud, like the reason I pray out loud is because it helps me stay focused. ⁓ And then if I pray silently, then my mind tends to wander. And so it's also good to practice the ways that you're not comfortable with so that you can fine tune it and refine it ⁓ because you never know what kind of opportunity the Lord is gonna present to you. on how to pray and when to pray. ⁓ Another one I forgot to mention of an outline or a guide to prayer is the Lord's Prayer. ⁓ did a Journey Bible study with some friends and they used the Lord's Prayer as guidance. And you literally just take it kind of phrase by phrase, ⁓ like I did with the adoration, ⁓ you pray for those specific things and how it applies to your life. ⁓ if... Prayer is meant to be ongoing, honest connection with God. The next question becomes, how do we actually build that into our everyday lives in a way that feels sustainable? Well, you know that I have four bullet points to talk about. Of course you do. And I like the number four. But I say first, start with a short, prayer instead of having to feel like you're driving. Nicole Mic: they use the Lord's Prayer as guidance. you literally just take it kind of phrase by phrase, just like I did with the adoration, and you pray for those specific things and how it applies to your life. So if prayer is meant to be ongoing, honest connection with God, the next question becomes how do we actually build that into our everyday lives in a way that feels sustainable? Well, you know that I have four bullet points to talk about because it's an even number and I like the number four. But I say first, start with a short, honest prayer instead of having to feel like you're dragging a long one out. So remove the pressure that you need to pray for a certain period of time. Just start talking. Make it approachable. Get in a cozy chair with your cup of coffee, a candle lit if you need to, whatever you need to do and just start. Like Steph said, you can say it out loud. That was intimidating for me in the beginning. I don't really know why, ⁓ but I write it down. And I mean, you could cross it out if you wanted to, but I literally just let my mind flow. ⁓ So it's just building that consistency through it being simple. ⁓ Focus on the honesty of the prayer versus the length of it. And that's gonna help you create that habit. The next thing is that pair your prayer with your routine. So this is called habit stacking for the people that don't know that Nicole Girardi is obsessed with habits. stack it to something. if you are, so one of mine is easy at night to remember to pray is when I put my eye mask on it's at time for bed, I immediately say my prayer for the night to thank the Lord for the day that I was given ⁓ and just go through a prayer. ⁓ It could be first thing in the morning, ⁓ you when you're doing your morning routine, it could be drive time. got, you got some time to drive or you're sitting at a stoplight or whatever the case may be. ⁓ You know, it's just triggering your mind of, ⁓ when I do this, I'm going to say a prayer. And that's all that it really is. It's just making it a part of your life as a rhythm. So then that way, then you can get more used to it. mean, some people, like, I mean, for the longest time, I had to put a reminder on my watch. And my watch would remind me to do it during the day. ⁓ So it's just finding whatever that part is to stack it on something else. I've already talked about it, but journaling. like if you journal, like be able to do it. So I've talked in the past couple of episodes of my my night that, you know, being able to journal at the end of the day, thanking the Lord for something you're thankful for and intention that you want God to work on for tomorrow and some small wins like that's a short, quick prayer. And you don't really realize that you're doing it as a prayer. So just the whole point is just to slow down. ⁓ And last but not least, I would be a horrible business partner if I didn't say the Roots Journal. ⁓ So use something like Roots Journal because we guide you through that reflection and the prayer and the truth every morning so that it's creating that structure for the consistency for you. It's combining the reflection and the prayer together so then that way then you're having it together and of course we're building intentional routines in the morning to be able to lock us on God's Word first Stephanie Petry: course, we're building int the morning to be able to Nicole Mic: to keep us stable Stephanie Petry: we pray based on what God has already said about himself, it keeps our prayers rooted in truth rather than just emotion. ⁓ Don't hear what I'm not saying. Obviously when we are experiencing emotions, we need to seek the Lord first in that too. ⁓ But we cannot let our emotions dictate our faith. ⁓ Our faith is ⁓ bigger and than our circumstances, because God is bigger than our circumstances. So just making sure that you hold yourself accountable to, know, have you prayed to the Lord before you call and complain about it to someone else. And if you have, then great. Also remember that prayer doesn't mean that you're going to get what you want. God is not a magic genie. you cannot pray and he says yes, okay, not all the time. ⁓ So his answer to prayer is usually yes, not yet, or no. And those waiting periods can be really hard, but those are usually the three answers. And you just have to trust that it is for your good and for his glory and you may not understand it, but that's not up to you, that's up to him. I love ⁓ the Risen Motherhood ministry. ⁓ They actually a break, which I think just speaks volumes to their faith journey as well. they do still their podcast up, though they're old episodes. So it's called the Risen Motherhood. ⁓ They also have a couple of books and one of them was the Gospel Mom. And they talk about prayer in there and they emphasize bringing the gospel into everyday motherhood because prayer doesn't happen separate from life. It happens right in the middle of it. And then the messy middle is where a lot of times you are growing in your faith. Whether you are driving, folding laundry, those mundane moments, right? Sitting in a quiet moment, those are all invitations to pray. Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: And you know, Nicole already said it doesn't have to be this huge structured thing. It can literally just be that simple conversational comes to mind. You say it to the Lord and off you go. And so a lot of times I feel like I start my day with prayer and I'm opening it and I don't, I don't stop until I say good night to him at the end. It's almost like a full day of prayer. Love it. And so maybe prayer isn't about Nicole Mic: love it. And so maybe prayer isn't about getting better at saying the right things. I think maybe it's about learning to trust God with real life. So that brings us to our scripture for the episode, which is Psalms 145 verse 18. The Lord is near to all who call on him to all who call on him in truth. Stephanie Petry: getting better at saying the right things. I think maybe it's about learning to trust God with real life. So that brings us to our scripture for the episode, which is Psalms 145, verse 18. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. This verse is simple and powerful in that God is near. You are always in God's hands, not just when we have the perfect words, but when we call on Him in truth and prayer. And the word truth matters because it means honesty, means sincerity and humility. Prayer isn't about impressing God. It's about being known by Him. And it's coming to Him as we are, trusting that He hears us and cares for us. And when we begin to live with that awareness that we have access to God at any moment, it changes how we walk through our days. We become equipped women. We become a sense of peace and presence to those around us. We start growing in wisdom and our understanding of truth. These are things that people feel and are gonna ask like, What's different? Like, how are you going through this season of your life and being so grounded? And the answer is usually, it's not me, it's the Lord. Prayer becomes less of a task and more of a relationship. So when prayer begins to look like that, not perfect, not polished, but real and consistent, ⁓ it starts to change not just how talk to God, but also how we live with him. So true. And I think that Nicole Mic: So true. And I think that to wrap this up in a bow, I want you all to start with one honest priority. Just one. doesn't matter how long it is, just keeping it simple, removing the overwhelm, just building that consistency slowly. If you don't have a prayer routine, create yourself one. It's creating that daily connection point and triggering your brain to start small to build the momentum. ⁓ The consistency is what matters more than the length. And I keep saying that over and over because I felt like I needed to pray for 30 minutes and that just wasn't the And that I mean I have my days and stuff I'm sure is the same way we have our days that we may say it Mornings take us longer than the others. It just depends on what we're heavy for so just start daily ⁓ Over and then that way then you can start start doing it and don't need the perfect words to have to have a real connection Let go of your pressure. Let go of ⁓ you know the comparison ⁓ Really just embrace the honesty and speak naturally I mean God already knows who we are. He already knows what's in our head. So creating all of the chaos that we do, we don't need to do it. So just know that peace often grows with the honest conversations with God. It's not the words that are coming out of our mouth. Stephanie Petry: It's not the words that are coming out. And you don't need to start in some big fancy way, just start. I mean, all of it is about just your willingness to show up and stay connected. It's not about doing it right. Over time, those small honest moments begin to build something deeper and something more rooted. So next week in our next episode, we're going to be talking about why you weren't meant to grow alone. because prayer connects us to God, but community is part of how he grows us too. we'll you then. Bye. Bye.