Latest / North and South (version 2) / 049 - Ch 48 - 'Ne'er To Be Found Again'

Transcript

049 - Ch 48 - 'Ne'er To Be Found Again' · North and South (version 2)

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Chapter forty eight of North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by Marianne,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: chapter forty eight. Ne'er to be found again my own,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: my father's friend. I cannot part with thee I ne'er
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: have shown thou ne'er hast known how dear thou art
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to me anonymous. The elements of the dinner parties which
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Missus Lennox gave were these her friends contributed the beauty
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Captain Lennox, the easy knowledge of the subjects of the day,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and mister Henry Lennox, and the sprinkling of rising men
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: who were received as his friends, brought the wit, the cleverness,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the keen and extensive knowledge of which they knew well
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: enough how to avail themselves without seeming pendantic or burdening
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: the rapid flow of conversation. These dinners were delightful. But
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: even here Margaret's dissatisfaction found her out. Every talent, every feeling,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: every acquirement, nay even every tendency towards virtue was used
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: up as materials for fireworks. The hidden sacred fire exhausted
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: itself in sparkle and crackle. They talked about art in
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: a merely sensuous way, dwelling on outside effects. Instead of
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: allowing themselves to learn what it has to teach, they
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: lashed themselves up into an enthusiasm about high subjects and company,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: and never thought about them when they were alone. They
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: squandered their capabilities of appreciation into a mere flow of
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: appropriate words. One day, after the gentlemen had come up
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: into the drawing room, mister Lennox drew near to Margaret
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: and addressed her in almost the first voluntary words he
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: had spoken to her since she had returned to live
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: in Harley Street. You did not look please at what
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Shirley was saying at dinner, didn't I? My face must
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: be very expressive, replied Margaret. It always was. It has
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: not lost the trick of being eloquent. I did not like,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: said Margaret hastily, his way of advocating what he knew
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: to be wrong, so glaringly wrong, even in jest. But
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: it was very clever, how every word told. Do you
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: remember the happy epithets? Yes, and despise them, you would
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: like to add, pray, don't scruple though he is my friend.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: There That is the exact tone in you that she
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: stopped short. He listened for a moment to see if
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: she would finish her sentence, but she only reddened and
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: turned away. Before she did so, however, she heard him say,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: in a very low, clear voice, if my tones or
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: modes of thought are what you dislike, will you do
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: me the justice to tell me so and give me
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: the chance of learning to please you. All these weeks
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: there was no intelligence of mister Bell's going to Milton.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: He had spoken of it at Helstone as of a
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: journey which he might have to take in a very
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: short time from then, But he must have transacted his
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: business by writing. Margaret thought ere now, and she knew
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: that if he could, he would avoid going to a
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: place which he disliked, and moreover, would little understand the
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: secret importance which she affixed to the explanation that could
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: only be given by word of mouth. She knew that
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: he would feel that it was necessary that it should
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: be done, but whether in summer, autumn, or winter, it
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: would signify very little. It was now August, and there
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: had been no mention of the Spanish journey to which
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: he had alluded to. Edith and Margaret tried to reconcile
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: herself to the fading away of this illusion. But one
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: morning she received a letter saying that next week he
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: meant to come up to town. He wanted to see
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: her at a plan which he had in his head,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: and moreover, he intended to treat himself to a little doctoring,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: as he had begun to come round to her opinion
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: that it would be pleasanter to think that his health
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: was more in fault than he when he found himself
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: irritable and cross. There was altogether a tone of forced
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: cheerfulness in the letter, as Margaret noticed afterwards, but at
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the time her attention was taken up by Edith's exclamations
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: coming up to town. Oh, dear, and I am so
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: worn out by the heat that I don't believe I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: have strength enough in me for another dinner. Besides, everybody
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: has left but our dear stupid selves, who can't settle
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: where to go. There would be nobody to meet him.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I'm sure he would much rather come and dine with
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: us quite alone, than with the most agreeable strangers you
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: could pick up. Besides, if he is not well, he
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: won't wish for invitations. I'm glad he has owned it
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: at last. I was sure he was ill from the
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: whole time of his letters, and yet he would not
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: answer me when I asked him, and I had no
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: third person to whom I could apply for news. Oh,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: he is not very ill, or he would not think
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: of Spain. He never mentions Spain. No, but his plan
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: that is to be proposed evidently relates to that. But
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: would you really go in such weather as this? Oh,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: it will get cooler every day, Yes, think of it.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I am only afraid I have thought and wished too
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: much in that absorbing, wilful way, which is sure to
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: be disappointed or else gratified to the letter, while in
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: the spirit it gives no pleasure. But that's superstitious, I'm sure, Margaret. No,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I don't think it is only it ought to warn
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: me and check me from giving way to such passionate wishes.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: It is a sort of give me children or else
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I die. I'm afraid my cry is let me go
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to Cadiz, or else I die. My dear Margaret, You'll
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: be persuaded to stay there, and then what shall I do? Oh?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I wish I could find somebody for you to marry here,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: that I could be sure of you. I shall never
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: marry nonsense and double nonsense. Why, as Sholto says, you're
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: such an attraction to the house that he knows ever
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: so many men who would be glad to visit here
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: next year for your sake. Margaret drew herself up haughtily.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Do you know, Edith, I sometimes think your corfu life
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: has taught you well, just a shade or two of coarseness.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Edith began to sob so bitterly, and to declare so
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: vehemently that Margaret had lost all love for her and
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: no longer looked upon her as a friend. That Margaret
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: came to think that she had expressed too harsh an
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: opinion for the relief of her own wounded pride, and
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: ended by being Edith's slave for the rest of the day,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: while that little lady, overcome by wounded feeling, lay like
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: a victim on the sofa, heaving occasionally a profound sigh,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: till at last she fell asleep. Mister Bell did not
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: make his appearance, even on the day to which he
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: had for a second time deferred his visit. The next
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: morning there came a letter from Wallace, his servant, stating
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: that his master had not been feeling well for some time,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: which had been the true reason of his putting off
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: his journey, and that at the very time when he
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: should have set out for London, he had been seized
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: with an apoplectic fit. It was, indeed, Wallace added the
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: opinion of the medical men, that he could not survive
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: the night, and more than probable that by the time
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: miss Hale received this letter, his poor master would be
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: no more. Margaret received this letter at breakfast time and
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: turned very pale as she read it, Then, silently putting
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: it into Edith's hands, she left the room. Edith was
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: terribly shocked as she read it, and cried in a sobbing, frightened,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: childish way, much to her husband's distress. Missus Shaw was
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: breakfasting in her own room, and upon him devolved the
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: task of reconciling his wife to the near contact into
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: which she seemed to be brought with death. For the
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: first time that she could remember in her life, here
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: was a man who was to have dined with them
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: to day, lying dead or dying instead. It was some
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: time before she could think of Margaret. Then she started
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: up and followed her upstairs into her room, Dixon was
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: packing up a few toilet articles, and Margaret was hastily
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: putting on her bonnet, shedding tears all the time, and
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: her hands trembling so that she could hardly tie the strings.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Oh dear Margaret, how shocking. What are you doing? Are
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: you going out sholto will telegraph or do anything you like?
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to Oxford. There's a train in half an hour.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Dixon has offered to go with me, but I could
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: have gone by myself. I must see him again. Besides,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: he may be better and want some care. He has
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: been like a father to me. Don't stop me, Edith,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: but I must. Mamma won't like it at all. Come
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: and ask her about it, Margaret, you don't know where
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you're going. I should not mind if he had a
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: house of his own, but in his fellow's rooms. Come
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: to Mamma and do ask her before you go. It
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: will not take a minute. Margaret yielded and lost her train.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: In the suddenness of the event, missus Shaw became bewildered
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: and hysterical, and so the precious time slipped by. But
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: there was another train in a couple of hours, and
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: after various discussions on propriety and impropriety. It was decided
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: that Captain Lennox should accompany Margaret, as the one thing
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: to which she was constant was her resolution to go
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: alone or otherwise by the next train, whatever might be
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: said of the propriety or impropriety of the step. Her
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: father's friend, her own friend, was lying at the point
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: of death, and the thought of this came upon her
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: with such vividness that she was surprised herself at the
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: firmness with which she asserted something of her right to
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: independence of action. And five minutes before the time for starting,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: she found herself sitting in a railway carriage opposite to
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Captain Lennox. It was always a comfort to her to
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: think that she had gone, though it was only to
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: hear that he had died in the night. She saw
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: the rooms that he had occupied, and associated them forever after,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: most fondly in her memory with the idea of her
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: father and his one cherished and faithful friend. They had
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: promised Edith before starting that if all ended as they feared,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: they would return to dinner, so that long lingering look
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: around the room in which her father died had to
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: be interrupted, and quiet farewell taken of the kind old
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: face that had so often come out with pleasant words
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: and merry quips and cranks. Captain Lennox fell asleep on
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: their journey home, and Margaret could cry at leisure and
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: bethink her of this fatal year and all the woes
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: it had brought to her. No sooner was she fully
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: aware of one loss than another came, not to supersede
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: her grief for the one before, but to re open
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: wounds and feelings scarcely healed. But at the sound of
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: the tender voices of her Aunt and Edith, of merry
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: little sholtose glee at her arrival, and at the sight
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: of the well lighted rooms, with their mistress pretty in
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: her paleness and her eager, sorrowful interest, Margaret roused herself
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: from her heavy trance of almost superstitious hopelessness, and began
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: to feel that even around her joy and gladness might gather.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: She had Edith's place on the sofa. Sholto was taught
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: to carry Aunt Margaret's cup of tea very carefully to her,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: and by the time she went up to dress, she
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: could thank God for having spared her dear old friend
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: a long, or a painful illness. But when night came,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: solemn night, and all the house was quiet, Margaret still
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: sat watching the beauty of a London sky at such
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: an hour on such a summer evening, the faint pink
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: reflection of earthly lights on the soft clouds that float
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: tranquility into the white moonlight, out of the warm glow
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: which lies motionless around the horizon. Margaret's room had been
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: the day nursery of her childhood, just when it merged
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: into girlhood, and when the feelings and conscience had been
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: first awakened into full activity. On some such night as this,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: she remembered promising to herself to live as brave and
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: noble a life as any heroine she ever read or
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: heard of in a romance, a life sans puritsan's reproach.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: It had seemed to her then that she had only
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: to will, and such a life would be accomplished. And
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: now she had learnt that not only to will, but
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: also to pray was a necessary condition in the truly
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: heroic trusting to herself she had fallen. It was a
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: just consequence of her sin, that all excuses for it,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: all temptation to it, should remain forever unknown to the
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: person in whose opinion it had sunk her the lowest
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: she stood face to face at last with her sin.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: She knew it for what it was, mister Bell's kindly sophistry,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: that nearly all men were guilty of equivocal actions, and
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: that the motive ennobled the evil had never had much
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: real weight with her. Her own first thought of how
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: if she had known all she might have fearlessly told
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: the truth seemed low and poor. Nay, even now, her
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: anxiety to have her character for truth partially excused in
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: mister Thornton's eyes, as mister Bell had promised to do,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: was a very small and petty consideration, now that she
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: was afresh taught by death what life should be if
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: all the world spoke, acted, or kept silence with intent
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: to deceive, if dearest interests were at stake, and dearest
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: lives in peril, if no one should ever know of
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: her truth or her falsehood to measure out their honor
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: or contempt for her. By straight alone, where she stood
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: in the presence of God, she prayed that she might
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: have strength to speak and act the truth for evermore.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: End of Chapter forty eight