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Transcript

THE BEST OF CELINASPOOKYBOO · CelinaSpookyBoo

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, 2024 was a year.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: We're not even there. Oh my god. 2023 was a
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: year of all of us.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Some of us thrived, some of us did whatever the
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: opposite of thriving was, and some of us coasted along
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: without getting hurt. And that's great, but the world's a mess.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Anyways, we are winding down this year, and this message
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: is very positive. It's been really great, hasn't it?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: All right, I decided to put together my top videos
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: of 2023 for you.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest, my year is.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Winding down too and things around here are hectic. So
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy this compilation I put together of
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  Speaker 1: my top videos and I wish you the very best
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: heading into 2024. I told Adam that I wanted to
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: be cremated and for some reason he made an appointment
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: for Tuesday. Oh.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Stop talking behind my back! And your breath stinks!
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Adam says we have a mouse infestation, and that's a problem,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: but I think that means we have friends.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Living in the country has been a whole new ballgame.
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  Speaker 2: Full of festive friends.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, hello Jonathan! I just want you to
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  Speaker 1: know that I tried for five days and I'm not
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  Speaker 1: allowed to set up terrarium with all my mouse friends
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  Speaker 1: because apparently they have diseases. I was so busy I
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: didn't even notice! Martha, bro. I like releasing them in
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  Speaker 1: pairs because in my mind they're lovers and I'm gonna
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  Speaker 1: send them out on the journey of their life like
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  Speaker 1: the Amazing Race.
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  Speaker 2: I put them in a bucket so they can blind
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  Speaker 2: react to their new habitat. Little mouse influencers.
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  Speaker 1: I was releasing them in the barn across from my
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  Speaker 1: house and then I found out that that's how they
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  Speaker 1: kept just coming back in. It was like a fun
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: game of tag. You're about to head out into a
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: big scary world out there, okay? But there should be
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: lots of seeds and lots of other mouse friends for
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: you to make.
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  Speaker 2: Do not crawl up into my vagina.
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  Speaker 1: Come out. Go. Stay in pep talk, Martha. Be free. Bye! Jonathon,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to leave either! Come on.
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  Speaker 3: Jesus!
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  Speaker 1: See?
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  Speaker 2: This is the perfect place for chickens! Why do you
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: want chickens so bad?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Because!
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You know why ducks have tail feathers? To cover their
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: butt quacks.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: What is that? Dad? Yes? What was this for?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: It's a double-ended... You got it. Oh, dude, I forgot
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: the key at your parents.
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  Speaker 3: So we're locked out?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Hold on.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Hey, you look really beautiful, and I know it's been
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: a while since we talked, but it would mean a
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  Speaker 3: lot if you would unlock for me.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Explain, please.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Communication is key. Mentally, I haven't really been at a
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: 10 lately. And I think I just need to drive
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  Speaker 1: until there's no more snow. So I'm going to go
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  Speaker 1: by myself to Virginia for some reason. And I'm bringing
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  Speaker 1: my shitting shack because I don't go anywhere without it.
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  Speaker 2: And I hope that you guys will be my co-pilots.
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  Speaker 1: For the ride.
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  Speaker 2: I don't feel bad.
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  Speaker 1: I just don't feel good. So why not go to
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Colonial Williamsburg where there's a giant Pioneer Village? Because that's
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do is go to Pioneer Villages.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I just want to watch a man make a camp stick.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: That's all. Will you come? I'm going. Okay. Bye-bye.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I've just been dealing with, like, really weird anxiety, and
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I need to prove to myself that I'm okay by
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: driving to America and having some soul-searching time. Oh.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Holy fuck!
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Hi, Eddie. Haley, you can accept this. You're fucking terrible.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Oh my god. I don't want any.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: It just smells like cheese. No, no.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: My mom didn't even want to fucking come!
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Don't call her again.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Morning. Selina. Morning. Hey, Selina. Morning.
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  Speaker 2: Good morning.
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  Speaker 1: Betty, what's mom doing?
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  Speaker 2: Selena, wake up.
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  Speaker 1: Oh.
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  Speaker 2: Are you okay? Morning.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Come here. Welcome back to Sleepwalking.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Do you want a.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Pickle?
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: You're never a girl like me.
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  Speaker 1: Some kamikazes.
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  Speaker 2: Take off the pickle, bitch. Here, have a snack. My
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: meat brain is all in my milkshakes.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Take off the pickle and take your bitches away. Pickles
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: are like tiny men. Tiny men with shitty actors.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Skinny Queen.
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  Speaker 1: No!
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  Speaker 2: I just love you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Every single morning when I wake up, you leave the
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: toilet seat up and I fall into the water.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Build a bridge and get over it. There!
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Are you happy now?
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Do you like your bridge? I'm getting over it!
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Look!
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I'm getting over it, Adam!
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Guys, we off-roading out here! Whoa! Diddy-talladega nights!
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Put them boulders in a holder, buddy!
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: No!
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: So I got diagnosed as colorblind to the doctor today.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: What?
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it certainly came out of the purple.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Yes. What?
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  Speaker 2: It's blue.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Oh! Ah! Ooh, moss and cedar.
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  Speaker 2: Smell that.
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  Speaker 1: Yep. Ooh, orange blossom. That go in the bathroom. Yep. Ooh,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: wild berry and beets. That's a funny one. What do
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: you think? No. What about detox? Yep.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: So, this morning, I woke up kind of sad. Not anymore,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: because I got presents. Hair thingies, are they the same color?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Um, yes, I do have a dry bar.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Perfect. Perfect, thank you.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Ghosty Boy? Ghosty Boy, you can never go wrong with
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  Speaker 1: a ghost.
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  Speaker 2: Just put a candle inside it, I don't know how
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: it would blow it out. I love it, I love it.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Ghosty Boy's partner in crime, dead dog. Dead dog! No, like,
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  Speaker 2: alive in the afterworld, but not really dead. Not actually
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  Speaker 2: a dead dog.
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  Speaker 1: I love him. Stunning.
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  Speaker 2: Stunning. You blossom because you're magic. I'm magic? Thank you.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Clear jack-o'-lantern. Oh my gosh, does it light up? Yes,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: there's a little.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, babe, that's gorgeous.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Where's the tester button for this one? How dare they?
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Mug.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Mug?
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, gorgeous.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Matches my jams. I will never have enough mugs or
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: enough travel crafts. You're a wise man. I think we
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: have three cupboards full. We do have three cupboards. Blanket.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Are these dogs in freaking costumes?
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Pirate dogs. That's Jack Sparrow's dog right there.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. Great choice.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: This shirty thingy that looked like it would suit you.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Another shirty thingy. Beautiful. Again. That's my vibe. That's my vibe.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: That's my vibe for sure.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, this.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: What do you have right now?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: High anxiety.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: What do you have all the time?
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: High anxiety. It's perfect.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: What do I try and calm down for you? My
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: high anxiety.
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  Speaker 1: See, I can't even say it.
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  Speaker 2: I'm so stressed. I'd rather be foraging.
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  Speaker 1: Foraging?
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  Speaker 2: Foraging.
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  Speaker 1: I love it.
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  Speaker 2: Because you also like finding furs. I do. This is,
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  Speaker 2: you like slush puppies. So I thought maybe you could
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  Speaker 2: incorporate that somehow.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: It's lit. You chose it because... You like the shoulder pads?
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  Speaker 2: That'll look nice with my hair.
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  Speaker 1: Was that your thought process? It is.
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  Speaker 2: That's it.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh. That's too much.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, that was about the reusable bags. Oh, is it
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: because you forgot bags? No, it's just that, yes. I
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  Speaker 2: love you. And they can go in the closet with
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  Speaker 2: the 800 other reusable bags. I love you.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Save the planet.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Save the planet.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Wow, there's a lot of apples here. Yeah. What's the
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: difference between an apple and an orphan? What? The apple
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: gets picked.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Slalina.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to sleepwalking. Here's goats.
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  Speaker 3: Here's seven goats.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Leave it to me, Mark.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, Nishan.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I'm Nishan.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: No, I haven't got cheese.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: It's fine. It's all over. I am Chris Hansen. It
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: was 11th of December. I'm just drooling. I'm basically free.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I'm just drooling. Adam, stop! Wood doesn't grow on trees, dude!
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: It's expensive!
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to Sleepwalking! Yeah, yeah. May I
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: need a room, please? God, ma'am.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I need your help.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Does everything look okay? That's not fucking right. Will you
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: chant with me?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Channing Tatum.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: I clenched so fucking hard.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: God! It's Taco Tuesday. Step up before I step on.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Do you love me?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I think it's about! I think
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: it is!
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: She's got a turban!
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Adam, I don't know if I can be here anymore.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Watch me tie-dye this shirt while I tell you the
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: horrible mistake that I made last week. I like to
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: craft when I panic. Last week, like a normal night,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: my husband said, hey, do you want to go to
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: our local hardware store while I pick up some things?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yes, absolutely. You know why? Christmas decor.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I drift out to the lights aisle because that's fun
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: and great and pure and kind and nice. I looked
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: at lights, and I got bored, and I was like,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: where's my husband? Let's just drift off. Let's find him.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of lazily going along, look at the aisles,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: and I see down at this double-ended aisle that my
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  Speaker 1: husband is down there. I saw the flannel. I saw
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: the giant beard from behind, the dark baseball cap. All
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: was good in the world. I had found him, and
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I was heading back to see him. I'm literally never
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: going to stop thinking about this moment for the rest
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  Speaker 1: of my entire life. Ever. Ever.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: So the.
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  Speaker 1: So there I am, drifting, looking at the things side
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  Speaker 1: to side. It was doorknobs, okay? It was doorknobs with
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: the keypads, and I was touching them, and I was
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: having a great time. Nothing could go wrong. Nothing could
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: literally go wrong, right? Except I'm weird. What do weird
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  Speaker 1: wives do to their husbands because we have literally no
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: control over anything that we do, apparently, at all? I
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's the same where you are, but
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I do this thing called cornholing. that I learned when
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  Speaker 1: I was a child, something that we did in public school,
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  Speaker 1: which would very, very much, very much be illegal in
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: now 2023. Cornholing is the act of taking your finger
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: and just slamming it Where the sun don't shine in
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  Speaker 1: your best friend or spouse's whatever. Okay, it's an okay
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: thing between me and my husband. He knew when he
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: married me, it was in the vows, he signed the paperwork.
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  Speaker 1: So I see him down here. I'm looking side to side,
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  Speaker 1: but I don't double glance, you know? I don't double
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  Speaker 1: glance and confirm that it is him. So I go
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: up behind this man, and I cornhole, and I hear...
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: but not an of my husband, no. I hear the
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  Speaker 1: of a man I literally don't know. I don't know.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: He turns around and here it gets, I don't know
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: if this is worse or better. He turns around and
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: he goes, Selena, not my husband. And then he goes,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: my wife loves you. And I say, don't tell your
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: wife I touched your butthole. Here I am thinking I'm
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: about to go to jail because that is assault. That
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: is assault. My husband comes around the corner. He is
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: looking at this man. This man is looking at me.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: The man looks at my husband, looks at me and goes,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: it's really nice to meet you. And he walks away
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: and he kept my secret. But I can't keep my secret.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I can't keep my secret. I can't. Because I cornholed
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: a stranger at 8.45 p.m. in a home improvement store.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: I wanted to buy a giant candy cane, and I
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: abused a stranger. And now, like, look how good this is.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I can't even wear this, because this is my corning
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: hole shirt. You happened because I cornholed someone. I need
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: a Mars bar.