Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 6 Red Flags of narcissists that some people miss

Transcript

6 Red Flags of narcissists that some people miss · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed self aware narcissist known as
• 0:05
  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
• 0:07
  narcissist code. This is your first time to say
• 0:09
  in my face to hear my voice. I use, I use my platform on
• 0:12
  social media to raise the awareness for MPD, get more
• 0:15
  people into therapy like myself. Six years strong, I was
• 0:17
  literally six years and also validate the victim, survivors
• 0:20
  and thrivers of said disorder. Said toxic people said toxic
• 0:23
  traits. Today's episode is going to be
• 0:26
  talking about some signs of red for some red flags that you
• 0:29
  might have missed. Red flags to look out for.
• 0:33
  For about narcissists and toxic people.
• 0:35
  I have what is it? 66 red flags that a lot of
• 0:39
  people might not talk about? Y'all.
• 0:41
  So before what happened to this episode, y'all check out the
• 0:43
  Self Love brand. I'm strong.
• 0:45
  I love me I'm strong. The link is in the description
• 0:47
  of every video and podcast that I do.
• 0:49
  Y'all but yes yes yes. So 6 red flags of Narcissistic
• 0:55
  people. Possible Narcissistic people.
• 0:56
  Y'all and none of the none of these red flags absolutely make
• 1:01
  somebody a narcissist. They don't.
• 1:02
  Y'all. They just don't.
• 1:04
  Could these be toxic traits, something you need to watch out
• 1:06
  for? Absolutely, yes.
• 1:08
  These should be toxic traits. Or things that you should work
• 1:11
  out, do things that you should look at and notice that somebody
• 1:14
  might not be ready for a relationship.
• 1:16
  Watch red. Watch my show.
• 1:18
  Waving the red Flag every Thursday on YouTube.
• 1:20
  Y'all, 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.
• 1:23
  OK, the first red flag is no buffer between relationships.
• 1:29
  Like relationship hoppers. Like there's no, absolutely no
• 1:33
  buffer between relationships. They they jump from relationship
• 1:36
  to relationship. They're in a relate.
• 1:37
  There is like there's some over. It's like there's overlap in all
• 1:41
  their relationships. Like there is no end.
• 1:43
  Like there's no there's no clear death.
• 1:46
  There's no clear, clearly defined line when their last
• 1:50
  relationship ended to when a new relationship started.
• 1:52
  There's overlap even with your relationship with you.
• 1:55
  They're talking to you and they're still haven't done be
• 1:58
  done with the the old relationship, the previous
• 1:59
  relationship, they're still kind of in it.
• 2:01
  They're still we're not happy. We're still together, but we're
• 2:05
  not happy as we used to be. We start to work things out for
• 2:08
  the kids. We together, we still sleep with
• 2:11
  this. Y'all come on now.
• 2:12
  Come on. Yeah.
• 2:14
  Is it true sometimes that people can live in the same house and
• 2:17
  be separated? Yes.
• 2:19
  But a lot of times y'all. That's not true.
• 2:21
  A lot of times this is goddamn lie.
• 2:22
  But that's what people bank on the fact that it could be true.
• 2:25
  It could be. Narcissistic people just thrive
• 2:30
  on could be could be. That's going to be a short video
• 2:33
  here pretty soon. Narcissistic people thrive on
• 2:35
  things that could be you know what I mean.
• 2:38
  I'm writing in big letters could be y'all will hear that in if
• 2:41
  y'all see that in a short video just put a put a a fire sign
• 2:46
  just let you let me know you watched this video too.
• 2:48
  But yeah that's how it goes though.
• 2:50
  Y'all things that could be true, it they could still be with,
• 2:54
  could be broken up with their ex and just living together for the
• 2:57
  kids because inflation and prices are high.
• 3:00
  Yeah, it could, it could. They could be.
• 3:02
  But there's no buffer. Y'all they break up, they try to
• 3:05
  set something up before they move on to somebody else.
• 3:08
  And yeah, the new relationships in these situations rarely ever
• 3:12
  work out. If, yeah, if they're still with
• 3:14
  somebody else and they're just now starting to talk to you,
• 3:18
  y'all you are the new, you are the new supplier.
• 3:21
  You're the new supplier. You are.
• 3:24
  I just like what? To ask yourself this question
• 3:27
  right here. Why do you think if they are not
• 3:29
  dumb with their previous relationship and they're talking
• 3:31
  to you, why do you think they're going to treat you better?
• 3:33
  That's right. That'd be blowing my mind.
• 3:35
  Why? Why?
• 3:36
  Because they told you why y'all believe in strangers.
• 3:39
  So why y'all so, so quickly To give somebody the benefit of the
• 3:42
  doubt. Why?
• 3:44
  Why y'all so apartment to believe strangers?
• 3:45
  Oh, they're going to treat me better.
• 3:47
  I know that they're cheating. They're cheating with me, but
• 3:50
  they're going to treat me better.
• 3:51
  What the goose fry up? What are you telling yourself?
• 3:58
  And I know what the narcissist is telling you.
• 4:00
  What are you telling yourself to make you believe this shit?
• 4:03
  Like, seriously, no buffer between relationships is a red
• 4:06
  flag. Y'all the second one.
• 4:09
  Y'all. Any lie, any lie is A and this,
• 4:13
  this should go without saying any lie.
• 4:16
  Anyone. If they lie to you in the
• 4:19
  beginning, they will and y'all Listen to this.
• 4:22
  On the podcast, that flapping sound is a red flag is a red
• 4:26
  flag bird with wings. My red flag just got wings and
• 4:29
  it's flying everywhere. Any lie.
• 4:32
  I don't care how little it is. Y'all any lie that you
• 4:35
  discovered that they've told. Leave them, leave them alone.
• 4:38
  Why would you? Yeah, if they lied to you in the
• 4:40
  beginning, if they're building the foundation of your
• 4:43
  relationship on lies, why do you think they're going to stop
• 4:47
  lying to you? Why would you get it again,
• 4:49
  y'all the benefit of the doubt comes up again.
• 4:51
  Why? Why?
• 4:53
  Ask yourself the question why? Why?
• 4:55
  If they lie to you in the beginning and you discover it,
• 4:58
  stop giving them second, third, fourth, fifth chances.
• 5:01
  Stop it. I don't care how physically
• 5:04
  attracted you are to this person because y'all physical
• 5:09
  attraction be beating some of y'all asses.
• 5:11
  Y'all can't get over how somebody looks to save your
• 5:14
  goddamn lives. Like, seriously, if if when your
• 5:17
  physical attraction to someone outweighs the red flag, do you
• 5:21
  want to lose 10 out of 10 times any lie?
• 5:25
  I don't care how big it is, how small it is.
• 5:28
  Any lie is a red flag. Any little white lie, any lie of
• 5:32
  omission is a still a lie. Your lies of omission, which
• 5:36
  means leaving things out on purpose, or still lies.
• 5:38
  Half truths or lies, half truths or whole lies, I don't care.
• 5:45
  That's a red flag, you know? I know people, like, believe
• 5:48
  it's obvious. No, it's not obvious to some
• 5:49
  people. It's not obvious to some people.
• 5:52
  It really isn't obvious to some people that a lie is a red flag.
• 5:55
  Or they told they lied to me because they care about me.
• 5:57
  They lied to me because I make them nervous.
• 5:58
  What the fuck? Could it be true?
• 6:02
  Yes, there you go again. Could be, could be, could be.
• 6:08
  It could be true. You see, that's how they get
• 6:11
  you. Y'all.
• 6:12
  Yeah. I don't want this episode to
• 6:13
  sound victim. Blame me.
• 6:14
  I promise you, I don't. But I want you all to take a
• 6:16
  look at yourselves and see what you are allowing into your life
• 6:19
  with people's words and not their actions.
• 6:22
  You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm trying to help.
• 6:23
  You all guide. Y'all.
• 6:24
  Know what I'm trying to help you out with The third one.
• 6:28
  They are a great listener, but not a great sharer.
• 6:34
  But, Lee, what do you mean? I?
• 6:35
  We want to. We want to find people who
• 6:37
  listen to us. Yes, you want to find people who
• 6:40
  listen, but you also want to find people who reciprocate the
• 6:44
  information sharing. You see what I'm saying?
• 6:46
  You want to find people that reciprocate the level of
• 6:48
  information sharing. Because there's going on here.
• 6:50
  Because one common misconception that a lot of people make about
• 6:54
  narcissists is that narcissists make everything about
• 6:55
  themselves. When I first get it to know
• 6:57
  people, one of the red flags and narcissists, they just make they
• 7:00
  talk about themselves all the time.
• 7:02
  Everything's about them. Everything's about them.
• 7:04
  No, some some narcissists. People like myself.
• 7:07
  I listen. I'm an information gatherer.
• 7:10
  I listen. I just don't share much.
• 7:12
  It's just like you're over sharing.
• 7:14
  You are over sharing. I'm under sharing, Let's say red
• 7:16
  flag, because now I know so much about you.
• 7:18
  You hardly know anything about me.
• 7:20
  But guess what? You're smitten because I listen
• 7:22
  to you. Because I gave you.
• 7:23
  I gave you a listening ear. So you're smitten now.
• 7:26
  I've never had anybody listen to me like that.
• 7:27
  Of course you haven't. Because I'm gathering
• 7:29
  information to use against you, to love bomb you.
• 7:32
  You know what I'm saying? You don't know anything about
• 7:34
  me. I shared very minimal stuff with
• 7:35
  you. So equal reciprocation of
• 7:37
  information. Y'all equality in information
• 7:41
  sharing. If they're a great listener but
• 7:43
  not a great share it. That's that's red flag E to me,
• 7:46
  To me. You know what I'm saying?
• 7:48
  Could they be a good person and just be emotionally immature?
• 7:53
  Yes, they could be. You see how it goes again.
• 7:55
  Could be, could be the 4th one. Y'all is trauma dubbing.
• 8:02
  So this is the opposite of the third one.
• 8:04
  Some narcissistic people just dump their trauma onto you and
• 8:07
  they don't listen to yours. You see what I'm saying?
• 8:09
  They just verbal. It's called verbal vomiting.
• 8:12
  They just vomit. All of everything that they've
• 8:14
  done or everything that they've been through, they just vomited
• 8:17
  onto you. They just trauma dump onto you.
• 8:19
  They just overwhelm your senses with trauma.
• 8:23
  And if you're a highly sensitive person that you're a highly
• 8:25
  empathetic person, you're going to feel bad for them.
• 8:27
  Oh my goodness, you've been through that the first date.
• 8:30
  They tell you they took the first date, they're telling you
• 8:32
  about their abusive childhood and then if you've been through
• 8:35
  something similar, y'all, now y'all bonded on abusive
• 8:39
  childhoods. You see what I'm saying?
• 8:41
  Now you're all bonded on abusive situation, abusive childhoods
• 8:44
  and whatnot. You see how that works out right
• 8:45
  there. You see how subtle it can be You
• 8:48
  know what I mean? They trauma dump under you
• 8:50
  either they're like I said they all say equal, equal information
• 8:54
  sharing. Equal equality and information
• 8:57
  sharing that's that's that's that's healthy that's healthy
• 9:00
  right there in inequality in relationship sharing is toxic as
• 9:03
  hell is it You know it's manipulative.
• 9:06
  It just is. If they are just listening and
• 9:08
  not sharing their their information gathering to use
• 9:11
  against you. If they're just overwhelming you
• 9:13
  with information they're trying to love bomb you or get you to
• 9:16
  feel sorry for them and they don't care about what you have
• 9:18
  to say, what you've been through.
• 9:19
  You see how both are, both are bad.
• 9:22
  You know both are bad. You know the equality of those
• 9:27
  is up, is up to you. It's subjected to the person
• 9:30
  who's listening. But that's how it goes.
• 9:33
  The fifth one, y'all. The 5th red flag I should have
• 9:35
  got. I should have got all my red
• 9:37
  flags and just start counting. Just start adding them together.
• 9:41
  The screens, the screenshot, the thumbnail of this.
• 9:44
  I'm gonna have my red flags in my hand.
• 9:45
  I'm gonna have a bunch of them. OK, just for the thumbnail of
• 9:47
  this video, I'm gonna make a special one for y'all.
• 9:49
  The fifth one, y'all is blames their exes for everything.
• 9:55
  Not just saying like I said, I know all my exes are crazy, it's
• 9:58
  a red flag. But if they are escaping
• 10:00
  accountability in their previous relationships, falling apart,
• 10:04
  all of them, like all their exes led to them.
• 10:06
  Their exes never treated them well.
• 10:08
  Yo, this could it be true? Could be.
• 10:12
  But it's red flaggy to me. If they're not taking any type
• 10:15
  of accountability for what? What has transpired in their in
• 10:18
  any of their relationships? You see what I'm saying?
• 10:20
  There's no accountability here. It's just like all my exes did
• 10:24
  this to me. All my exes treated me badly.
• 10:26
  Every ex is at fault. But what?
• 10:28
  What? What?
• 10:28
  What did they play it? What?
• 10:29
  What role have they played in it?
• 10:31
  You see what I'm saying? What role have they played?
• 10:33
  Ask yourself that question. What role have they played in
• 10:38
  this situation? Because if I tell you that all
• 10:41
  my exes have treated me badly, it may and you like me.
• 10:44
  If you're physically attracted to me, you see what I'm saying.
• 10:46
  If you're physically attracted to me, if I meet your criteria,
• 10:49
  If I meet your criteria, because that's what people are looking
• 10:52
  for. 6 foot 6 foot 6 pack, 6 foot 6 pack, 6 figure that's all
• 10:56
  I want. You know what I'm saying?
• 10:56
  If I meet your criteria, then you just some of the stuff you
• 11:00
  should put up with. Some of the stuff you let go by,
• 11:02
  you know what I'm saying? That happens.
• 11:05
  That happens. But like I said, if they're
• 11:08
  blaming their exes for everything, they want you to
• 11:09
  feel bad and not do what their exes have done.
• 11:12
  Quote UN quote, done. They don't want you to do what
• 11:14
  their exes have done. You know what I mean?
• 11:17
  It happens right there in these situations.
• 11:19
  It happens. If they're blaming their exes
• 11:21
  for everything, is it can it always be the exes fault?
• 11:27
  Could be. You're going to hear y'all.
• 11:28
  It could be the exes fault. I love it.
• 11:31
  Y'all could be look if you made it this far you have to put
• 11:35
  could be just put look just put could be in the comment section
• 11:38
  and people who haven't watched the whole video they're going to
• 11:40
  be confused like why the hell everybody keep watching.
• 11:43
  Could be everybody keeps typing could be in the comments just
• 11:45
  look just let's mutually confuse everybody else let's let's
• 11:49
  confuse them could be this is what could be in the comment
• 11:51
  section. I appreciate y'all, I really do
• 11:55
  the last one. Y'all too much, too fast.
• 12:00
  I this is what being in a relationship, y'all I say it's
• 12:03
  like getting in a car together and y'all are.
• 12:06
  They're like every stop sign or every mile marker.
• 12:10
  Every speed limit sign is a mile marker.
• 12:14
  I call those relationship mile markers.
• 12:15
  It's just like driving on the highway together at a constant
• 12:19
  speed. You, you're passing relationship
• 12:21
  mile markers in a timely manner, in a healthy relationship, in a
• 12:25
  toxic relationship. You're blowing by these mile,
• 12:28
  these, these, these, these relationship mile markers
• 12:31
  extremely fast. It's like you're on the highway
• 12:34
  going 150 blown by all the other cars.
• 12:38
  It's a two lane highway. You're blown by all the other
• 12:40
  cars who've been on the highway longer than you.
• 12:42
  You you're blown by your your friends.
• 12:44
  They, they, your friends are driving this Subaru.
• 12:47
  They're going 65 miles wide. They're going to speed limit,
• 12:49
  right. They just, they just got
• 12:51
  engaged. They've been together, they've
• 12:52
  been on this highway for three years.
• 12:54
  They just got engaged after three years y'all been together
• 12:57
  for two months. Y'all blew by them.
• 12:58
  Y'all already engaged. Y'all married your friends that
• 13:02
  have been together for five years.
• 13:04
  They just had their first baby. Y'all are already y'all already
• 13:07
  pregnant and moving in together. Y'all just blew by them.
• 13:09
  You see how fast you're going too much too fast.
• 13:14
  And when it when it's when you're in it, when you're in
• 13:15
  this vehicle. It's kind of fun to be a little
• 13:17
  scary but like, listen, I'm. I'm going on for the ride.
• 13:19
  But what happens y'all when you going super fast on the highway
• 13:23
  and you hit a you hit a speed bump out of nowhere or you
• 13:27
  there's a curve that comes up. You don't have time to slow
• 13:29
  down. There's a curve that comes up
• 13:31
  you going right over the edge of the highway.
• 13:33
  And sometimes some of these highways are on the side of the
• 13:35
  mountain. So you going right over the edge
• 13:36
  of the mountain, you crash and burn.
• 13:38
  You see what I'm saying? Slow down.
• 13:41
  Speed is the weapon of narcissist's job.
• 13:44
  It just is. Speed is the weapon of
• 13:45
  narcissistic people. That's just the way it works.
• 13:47
  It's me just conveying this to y'all y'all If y'all have more
• 13:50
  red flags, drop them in the comment section.
• 13:51
  I'll compile a list of the of the of some more red flags that
• 13:56
  I could have missed that that y'all think, y'all thought of
• 13:58
  that y'all experience that you might have missed, but when you
• 14:01
  got out of it you you know it now.
• 14:03
  So just drop put could be and drop a red flag.
• 14:05
  Drop. What do you think there's a red
• 14:06
  flag in there that I could have missed.
• 14:08
  Because I know there's plenty more red flags.
• 14:09
  It's just a list of six that I compiled on the way to the
• 14:12
  office. But thank y'all tuning in, make
• 14:15
  sure you like and subscribe for more than of course.
• 14:16
  Y'all but this is out please. Thanks for making it to the end
• 14:20
  of my video. Y'all.
• 14:21
  If you haven't already, check out joining the channel
• 14:23
  memberships for behind the scenes perks, priority responses
• 14:27
  to the comments, and a few other things Like to the description
• 14:29
  every single video I do thank you so much.