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65 | An Impediment to the Vibe · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_05: Picture it, Eric.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_05: You're in a hallway.
• 0:02
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:03
  Matt: You're walking, and this hallway, ooh, it's long.
• 0:07
  Matt: Long hallway.
• 0:08
  Matt: Oh, it's a long hallway.
• 0:10
  Matt: And sure.
• 0:11
  Matt: Let's uh let's just say, let's call it an apartment building.
• 0:14
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:14
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:14
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:15
  Matt: Big old apartment building.
• 0:16
  Matt: And yeah, so there are doors, but there's no door, there's no public doors, right?
• 0:21
  Matt: They're all apartments.
• 0:22
  Eric: They're all apartment doors.
• 0:23
  Matt: They're all apartment doors.
• 0:24
  Matt: And at the end is the door to what a the parking garage.
• 0:28
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:28
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:28
  Eric: Uh, just a quick question about the doors I'm passing.
• 0:31
  Eric: Are these oaken doors?
• 0:34
  Eric: Yes, Eric.
• 0:34
  Matt: They're oaken apartment complex doors.
• 0:37
  Eric: Iron banded?
• 0:38
  Matt: Yeah.
• 0:38
  Matt: Yeah, sure.
• 0:39
  Matt: They're iron banded, oaken apartment complex doors in the year 2023.
• 0:45
  Matt: And there are torches lining the corridor.
• 0:48
  Matt: You know what?
• 0:48
  Matt: It's a corridor, Eric.
• 0:49
  Eric: I I take one.
• 0:50
  Eric: Any other edits you want to make to my hypothetical?
• 0:53
  Eric: Uh the floor carpeted or hewn stone?
• 1:00
  Eric: Marble.
• 1:01
  Eric: Ooh, okay.
• 1:02
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:02
  Eric: Yeah, this is definitely a corridor.
• 1:05
  Eric: Yeah, it's black marble, Eric.
• 1:07
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:07
  Eric: Fuck yeah.
• 1:09
  Eric: Where's this apartment complex?
• 1:11
  Eric: Maryland.
• 1:13
  Matt: Hell yeah.
• 1:14
  Matt: Hell yeah.
• 1:15
  Matt: So there's the this door at the end of the complex.
• 1:17
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:18
  Matt: Fuck you.
• 1:18
  Matt: Look what you've done to my story.
• 1:26
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:26
  Matt: So there's a door at the end of the hallway.
• 1:28
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:28
  Matt: You're walking towards it.
• 1:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:30
  Matt: But oh, it's far.
• 1:31
  Matt: Ooh, it's long.
• 1:33
  Matt: And uh let's call it 100 yards.
• 1:35
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:35
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:35
  Matt: 100 yards.
• 1:36
  Matt: 100 yards.
• 1:36
  Matt: Football field away.
• 1:37
  Eric: As the crow flies, yes.
• 1:40
  Matt: Okay, sure.
• 1:41
  Matt: I mean, we're inside in a marble-lined torch-lit oaken door with iron, whatever the fuck.
• 1:49
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:50
  Matt: So somebody opens the door to the mar the the the modern day parking garage at the end.
• 1:54
  Matt: Okay, cool, cool, cool.
• 1:55
  Matt: I'm here, I'm here, I'm with you.
• 1:56
  Matt: There's a there's a Prius can be seen through the doorway.
• 1:59
  Matt: I can't believe mine eyes.
• 2:01
  Matt: A Prius.
• 2:02
  Matt: And he's walking in.
• 2:04
  Matt: Okay?
• 2:04
  Matt: And you, a hundred some yards away, yes, are walking towards that door.
• 2:10
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:11
  Matt: You have all of this distance.
• 2:13
  Matt: Yes.
• 2:14
  Matt: You and your compatriot.
• 2:16
  Matt: I ready my morning star.
• 2:18
  Matt: Where you are walking towards one another.
• 2:22
  Matt: How in the world is someone meant to navigate this horrendously awkward situation?
• 2:29
  Eric: Oh, you are describing my nightmare.
• 2:32
  Eric: How in the world?
• 2:33
  Eric: You're walking towards it.
• 2:35
  Matt: You have to face that way, they have to face this way.
• 2:38
  Matt: Yes.
• 2:38
  Matt: Okay?
• 2:39
  Matt: How many things?
• 2:40
  Matt: Because in real life, Eric, this is just a beige nightmare of a hallway.
• 2:46
  Matt: There's nothing interesting to look at.
• 2:47
  Matt: You can't look at the flickering of torch light.
• 2:52
  Eric: I cannot distract myself with the eldritch runes etched carefully onto the flagstones.
• 2:58
  Matt: No, no, no.
• 2:59
  Matt: You just have eggshell paint to distract yourself with.
• 3:03
  Eric: And so as I'm trying to look anywhere but at the person.
• 3:09
  Matt: You're looking into the abyss of white paint to try to find something that makes you go, oh, I have to be concerned about this.
• 3:16
  Matt: Or I whipped out my phone, but it's so long, Eric.
• 3:19
  Matt: It's such a long corridor.
• 3:21
  Matt: How long could you conceivably me and this guy are walking towards each other, and this has happened many times in my apartment complex because the hallway doesn't change.
• 3:31
  Matt: No.
• 3:31
  Matt: And so this has happened many, many times.
• 3:33
  Matt: And what am I supposed to do?
• 3:36
  Matt: What's he supposed to do?
• 3:37
  Matt: And then, of course, we get close enough to each other, and you have to do you have to have some awkward hey.
• 3:45
  Matt: Or or or do you pretend to be preoccupied?
• 3:49
  Eric: What would you do in this situation?
• 3:50
  Eric: Start walking backwards, matching his pace, see how long it takes him to notice.
• 3:54
  Eric: Make it make him think he's not making any any progress down this hall.
• 3:59
  Eric: Uh, but in reality, what yeah, just match his pace, walk backwards so it looks like it feels from his perspective, I'm never getting any closer.
• 4:08
  Eric: Um the logical choice.
• 4:12
  Eric: I would look, I I would immediately dive towards my phone.
• 4:15
  Eric: Look at my phone.
• 4:16
  Eric: Um, but you can all that that'll buy you like a couple of like after a while.
• 4:21
  Eric: That's what I'm saying.
• 4:22
  Eric: If and for the record, folks, this is just a public service announcement at this point.
• 4:27
  Eric: If you're doing what I've just described, you're like, oh, I'll just look at my phone and pretend to be, you know, preoccupied with that as I walk a hundred yards towards this person.
• 4:37
  Eric: We all know exactly what you're doing.
• 4:39
  Eric: Right.
• 4:40
  Eric: That we are abusing the social contract in this because we both know exactly what I'm doing when I look down at my phone and pretend to be preoccupied with.
• 4:48
  Eric: We both know, but the social contract prevents either of us, especially you, from acknowledging like, what are you gonna do?
• 4:56
  Eric: What the fuck are you gonna say?
• 4:58
  Eric: There's nothing you can say to me that I can't immediately respond with, oh my God, he's not gonna make it.
• 5:04
  Eric: Can I tell you a real life bit that I have done in this situation?
• 5:08
  Matt: Yes.
• 5:09
  Matt: But have exited the awkwardness and entered the, I bet I can make a bit out of this.
• 5:15
  Matt: Oh.
• 5:15
  Matt: If only for myself territory.
• 5:18
  Matt: And that is, you see, Eric, when I'm walking around so I work from home, as we all know.
• 5:23
  Matt: And as when I so at lunch and after work, I immediately try to do like a loop of my apartment complex just to get my brittle bone body some movement to see the sun, you know, all these things.
• 5:36
  Matt: So I I'm frequently seen just wandering around the apartment complex.
• 5:42
  Matt: And so, and so at the when I'm taking when I'm taking these strolls about the grounds, the the uh during my lunchtime stroll, I have not only my phone on me, but my work cell phone on me in case I get a work call because they're different.
• 6:03
  Matt: I have a different cell phone.
• 6:05
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 6:06
  Matt: Yes.
• 6:06
  Matt: And they are in fact both iPhones.
• 6:11
  Matt: So, so one time I did what you're describing.
• 6:16
  Matt: I pulled out my phone, I was looking at it, preoccupied, and I realized that I had this like scrunched up face, like, oh, what as if somebody was saying, like, what are these numbers?
• 6:28
  Eric: You know, that is that is key.
• 6:29
  Eric: Look at these numbers, very scowl at your phone almost, like this cannot be.
• 6:34
  Matt: And when I was like, I don't know, 20, 30, some feet away from the this person I was working towards, because I was just pretending to be on the phone, I remembered that I have this other phone.
• 6:48
  Matt: So I went, I'm looking at my phone, right?
• 6:51
  Matt: Yeah and I'm like, what what what is that?
• 6:55
  Matt: What I'm so confused.
• 6:57
  Matt: And so I whip out my other phone and I look at that one and I look back and forth between the two of them.
• 7:03
  Matt: Like, can this be real?
• 7:04
  Matt: Just in time to pass the person.
• 7:07
  Matt: And so without turning around, I was like, ugh, I threw my arms up in the air and then I pocketed both phones as if I was a Western gunslinger.
• 7:19
  Matt: Incredible.
• 7:20
  Matt: Never turned around to see if the reaction, if there was any reaction, but I would bet my bottom dollar that that person turned around to be like, what the fuck?
• 7:31
  Matt: What did I see?
• 7:33
  Matt: It's not super necessarily super uncommon for somebody to have two phones on them for this exact situation.
• 7:39
  Matt: But at the same, but at the same time, it is unusual to see someone be contemplating struggling with something on one phone and have to reference the other one.
• 7:51
  Eric: Uh Mac, if I may, can I add just a little zhuzh to this?
• 7:56
  Eric: Can I zhuz it a little bit?
• 7:57
  Matt: Oh, you know I love it when you zhuzh me.
• 7:59
  Eric: Matt, if you ever find yourself in this situation again, you're looking at one phone, you got the other phone in your pocket, dial the number of the phone in your pocket with the phone you were holding so you can be interrupted with a call.
• 8:11
  Eric: It looks like you're getting a call while getting the news.
• 8:14
  Eric: And yeah, Dennis, I just saw it on my other phone.
• 8:20
  Eric: When did Brenda get you these numbers?
• 8:22
  Eric: If you can pick up a few lines in another language, so like pick up the phone and start speaking a language other than English.
• 8:29
  Eric: Really, really weave a web here.
• 8:32
  Matt: Yeah, what if yeah, I'm on I'm on one phone and like just talking on the phone.
• 8:38
  Matt: Have the other one ring and then pick that one up and talk in German or something.
• 8:43
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 8:45
  Eric: Just like picking up like Ja.
• 8:50
  Eric: An uh Schudon is die Krankenwagen.
• 8:55
  Eric: Uh is this German?
• 8:57
  Eric: Das ist uh ein Ein Das ist ein Bücher.
• 9:01
  Eric: This German are you racist?
• 9:02
  Eric: No, no, no, I'm not racist.
• 9:03
  Eric: I'm I'm well I uh a few of these words are in fact German.
• 9:07
  Eric: Uh Krankenwagen is my favorite German word.
• 9:10
  Eric: What does Krankenwagen mean?
• 9:12
  Eric: Krankenwagen?
• 9:13
  Eric: Krankenwagen! Ambulance.
• 9:16
  Eric: I have to have brought this up before.
• 9:18
  Eric: My my favorite German word of all time is Sitzprinkle.
• 9:22
  Eric: Sitzprinkle?
• 9:24
  Eric: Sitzprinkle.
• 9:25
  Eric: It is it is the term for someone who sits when they pee.
• 9:28
  Eric: Like a man who like like a person with a dick.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:32
  Eric: I'm aware.
• 9:33
  Eric: When you open up the the forum.
• 9:35
  Eric: Uh if you sit, it's when you don't want to make a lot of of sprinkle noise when you pee in a get in like a friend's house.
• 9:42
  Eric: So you yeah, oh I I've oh yeah, I've sit sprinkled many a time.
• 9:46
  Matt: It's by default.
• 9:47
  Matt: I don't I don't even care.
• 9:48
  Eric: No, it's very convenient.
• 9:50
  Eric: I'm very lazy.
• 9:51
  Eric: It lets me just chill on my phone because there's nothing more stressful than trying to like scroll through text while like standing over the toilet.
• 9:58
  Eric: Yeah, while handling the serpent.
• 10:00
  Eric: No.
• 10:00
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 10:01
  Eric: That is how I lost a phone.
• 10:04
  Eric: I I bro, I was texting.
• 10:07
  Eric: I was at work texting, having a little sprinkler, and I go to it.
• 10:14
  Eric: The timing was fucking comical because I go to flush the toilet and then I go to put my phone back.
• 10:20
  Eric: I can't remember what I bumped into or hit.
• 10:23
  Eric: The phone flies out of my hand.
• 10:26
  Eric: Matt, as the toilet is flushing, dives directly down the fucking pipe.
• 10:32
  Eric: It doesn't even hit the bowl and swirl around comically.
• 10:36
  Eric: Gone.
• 10:37
  Eric: Gone.
• 10:38
  Eric: Evaporated.
• 10:38
  Eric: It committed suicide.
• 10:40
  Eric: That was my last flip phone.
• 10:42
  Eric: That was my last flip phone.
• 10:43
  Eric: That's how it went.
• 10:44
  Eric: That's what forced me to upgrade to a smartphone.
• 10:47
  Eric: This was like, this was legitimately 10 years ago.
• 10:50
  Eric: My lap, my my beautiful little flip phone.
• 10:52
  Eric: I love that fucking thing.
• 10:53
  Eric: Took a dive, been smartphones ever since.
• 10:57
  Matt: I guess I could tell the guy I'm walking towards this whole story.
• 11:24
  Matt: I don't know why I did this bit.
• 11:25
  Matt: I don't know why I started.
• 11:28
  Eric: I was in it.
• 11:30
  Matt: Hello, everybody.
• 11:31
  Matt: I'm gonna change from um excuse me.
• 11:33
  Matt: I'm gonna change real quick from uh from auctioneer to NPR.
• 11:37
  Matt: Give me one.
• 11:37
  Matt: Yep.
• 11:38
  Matt: Just give me one second.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_05: Hello, everybody, and welcome to You Didn't Ask for This, the podcast answering life's least pressing questions.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_05: It's the top of the hour.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_04: My name is Matthew Shea.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_04: My name's Eric Poach, and we look forward to spending the next uh hour or so going to be a bit more.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_04: Four and a half hours with you.
• 11:59
  Matt: Yes.
• 12:00
  Matt: But to be honest with you for a second, I get this NPR like um like affiliate uh person on um TikTok from time to time.
• 12:09
  Matt: Just reading prompts live.
• 12:11
  Eric: And I just like user-submitted prompts?
• 12:14
  Matt: No, no, no, no.
• 12:15
  Matt: Like um like he just is filming himself at work doing the whole like it's the top of the hour, and it's 61 degrees here in San Francisco.
• 12:24
  Matt: And like the um, you know, President Biden signed into law, you know, that that whole just like these little buttons.
• 12:31
  Matt: Yeah, and I was like, man, I'd love to fucking do that job.
• 12:36
  Eric: I know Zach E D would be incredible for that, but his voice might be a little too sexy.
• 12:43
  Eric: Zach E D, he's he already has a radio gig as a rock jockey.
• 12:47
  Eric: No, but like like he could nail the NPR vibe.
• 12:50
  Eric: Oh, 100% like 100%, but he's but I worry that he's too sexy.
• 12:55
  Eric: Like his voice, like they were like Mr.
• 12:59
  Matt: Deuce.
• 13:00
  Matt: I take some offense to the fact that you don't think NPR is sexy.
• 13:03
  Eric: No, I mean you're right.
• 13:08
  Matt: Well, we got a great show for you, everybody.
• 13:10
  Matt: Uh NPR or not.
• 13:12
  Matt: Because you know what?
• 13:13
  Matt: NPR would not investigate the types of hard-hitting questions that we are about to get into before we get into round three, part one of Google Gripe season two.
• 13:26
  Matt: Eric.
• 13:27
  Matt: GG, baby, GG.
• 13:29
  Matt: I I'm nervous.
• 13:30
  Matt: I'm nervous to say the least.
• 13:32
  Matt: To say the least, after the assault you performed on me last time.
• 13:36
  Eric: I had several friends, my best friend Joey came up to me and he's like, you were that was rude.
• 13:42
  Eric: He was like, You were rude.
• 13:43
  Eric: You were rude to me.
• 13:45
  Eric: That was disrespectful what you did to that man.
• 13:47
  Eric: I'm like, yes, yes, it was.
• 13:48
  Matt: Indeed, it was.
• 13:49
  Matt: And so, Eric, but before we get into that, we we gotta answer these questions that the people need to know.
• 13:55
  Matt: Eric, I ask you, what is the definition of ish?
• 14:02
  Eric: Oh, beautiful.
• 14:04
  Eric: So you're familiar with ish.
• 14:05
  Eric: Oh, yeah, oh, I've I've ished with the best of them.
• 14:09
  Eric: Yes, yes, haven't we?
• 14:11
  Eric: I I consider myself uh sort of something of an isher?
• 14:15
  Eric: Something of an isher.
• 14:16
  Eric: Uh something of a, you know, a scholar-ish in the realm.
• 14:20
  Eric: Scholar-ish.
• 14:21
  Eric: In the realm of ish.
• 14:23
  Eric: Uh for those of you who don't know, let's give a quick example.
• 14:26
  Eric: Uh hey, a uh Matt, how's how's how's the weather out there today?
• 14:32
  Matt: Yeah, I don't know.
• 14:33
  Matt: It's a little uh a little rainy to cloudy-ish.
• 14:37
  Matt: Cloudy-ish.
• 14:38
  Eric: It's uh yeah, over here it's it's nice-ish.
• 14:41
  Eric: Nice-ish, yeah.
• 14:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Matt: How are you feeling today, by the way?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling great-ish.
• 14:47
  Matt: Great-ish.
• 14:48
  Matt: You greatish.
• 14:49
  Matt: That's a word you say, huh?
• 14:51
  Matt: Not not like, oh, I'm feeling a little groggy-ish.
• 14:56
  Eric: Groggy.
• 14:57
  Eric: No, look, see, that's my thing.
• 14:59
  Eric: I I really do believe you can slap ish on the end of anything because ish is like a conversational asterisk.
• 15:07
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 15:08
  Eric: Like I do.
• 15:10
  Eric: You put it, you put it on the end of a word to invite the listener to lean in.
• 15:16
  Eric: To ask to ask for more information.
• 15:19
  Eric: Like, and and and honestly, the more positive the word you attach it to, the more juicy it feels.
• 15:26
  Eric: Like, oh my god, I'm doing like phenomenal-ish.
• 15:31
  Matt: Oh, Brenda, your garden is so gorgeous-ish.
• 15:37
  Matt: So I don't know why I could have chose beautiful.
• 15:41
  Eric: Ish is the universal communication that I mean it's great, except for this, you know, one thing.
• 15:49
  Eric: Like, like it it it it implied there is an identifiable element that is impeding the vibe.
• 15:57
  Eric: That is impeding the vibe.
• 15:58
  Eric: I like that.
• 15:59
  Eric: Yeah it introduces an impediment to the vibe.
• 16:02
  Eric: An impediment to the vibe, yes.
• 16:04
  Matt: Well, I think there is I think it lives practically.
• 16:10
  Matt: You know, maybe this isn't the funniest response, but I think in actuality, it lives somewhere between the like exact definition of whatever word you're using.
• 16:19
  Matt: Let's say, you know, you said nice, right?
• 16:21
  Matt: So like nice-ish.
• 16:22
  Matt: It's not fully nice, but it's not bad.
• 16:26
  Matt: It's not nasty.
• 16:28
  Matt: You can't downgrade it to whatever the next word is underneath it.
• 16:32
  Matt: Yeah.
• 16:33
  Matt: In the hierarchy of those words.
• 16:36
  Matt: It's somewhere in between, somewhere in the nether world in between those.
• 16:40
  Eric: In that, in that intangible, because I feel like that is another element of it.
• 16:45
  Eric: Uh very often you're like, oh, everything's perfect, everything's great, or like this is what I expected, but something's missing.
• 16:54
  Eric: Or like you, you're it's like when you're you're craving something, but you don't know what.
• 16:59
  Matt: So it's whatever you're describing.
• 17:01
  Matt: Let's say like it's beautiful, okay?
• 17:02
  Matt: Beautiful-ish.
• 17:04
  Matt: It is beautiful on the whole, but there are sprinkles of of ugliness.
• 17:10
  Matt: There's sprinkles of of danger.
• 17:13
  Matt: Yes.
• 17:13
  Matt: And so that is what you can't say, ooh, it's gross, because it's not overwhelmingly, it's nice.
• 17:20
  Matt: Does that sound like it's accurate?
• 17:22
  Matt: No, that that does sound, yes.
• 17:24
  Eric: Yeah, no, that that that that sounds very accurate.
• 17:26
  Eric: And I feel like me personally, if I'm throwing ish into a conversation, I am either dunking on somebody.
• 17:34
  Eric: Uh, for example, someone uh, you know, someone's in a meeting and they're like, oh, you know, we we all try to be professional here.
• 17:41
  Eric: I'll just lean back and go, ish.
• 17:44
  Eric: Like I'll throw throw it, tack it on there.
• 17:48
  Eric: Or I'm specifically saying it because I I I desperately want someone to talk to me about the thing that is bothering me.
• 17:54
  Eric: The thing that that little that little I I I need help.
• 17:58
  Eric: I see.
• 17:59
  Matt: It sounds like to me you're just being an agent of chaos.
• 18:04
  Matt: Is that fair to say?
• 18:05
  Matt: Because you're saying you're just throwing this out like you're lobbing bombs.
• 18:09
  Eric: Oh, well, no, I'm judicious-ish about when I use ish.
• 18:15
  Eric: Sure.
• 18:16
  Eric: It it it's very those three letters, they're very dear to my heart.
• 18:19
  Eric: I I but I They're versatile.
• 18:22
  Eric: They're ver very versatile.
• 18:23
  Eric: But I will say, and this is almost kind of like a s like a side question to the question.
• 18:28
  Eric: What is the least appropriate time to use it?
• 18:31
  Matt: The least appropriate time to use it.
• 18:33
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:33
  Matt: Like you mean like setting?
• 18:35
  Eric: Yeah, like, oh my god, the service was amazing-ish.
• 18:40
  Matt: I feel like the shittiest thing, I think it depends a little bit on your circumstance.
• 18:44
  Matt: And what I mean by that is like, imagine a doctor coming in to say anything.
• 18:52
  Matt: Really anything.
• 18:53
  Matt: You know, like, hey, Mr.
• 18:54
  Matt: Poach, uh, we got the uh we got the test results back.
• 18:57
  Matt: And they're they're great.
• 18:59
  Matt: Ish.
• 18:59
  Matt: Ish.
• 19:02
  Eric: Oh, that's the other use though.
• 19:05
  Eric: It does allow you to kind of inversely deliver bad news, but in a good way.
• 19:11
  Eric: So if my doc didn't want to tell me, aka your results were okay, he would say, Oh, they were good-ish.
• 19:17
  Eric: Like, like it allows.
• 19:19
  Eric: What I'm saying is, do you want to hear a medical professional say that to you?
• 19:24
  Matt: No, but in other contexts.
• 19:26
  Matt: Eric Eric, I'm happy to tell Mr.
• 19:28
  Matt: Poach, I'm happy to tell you, you do not have cancer.
• 19:31
  Matt: Well-ish.
• 19:34
  Matt: You're in remission-ish.
• 19:38
  Matt: Except for that giant tumor on your toe.
• 19:41
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 19:42
  Matt: The dreaded toe cancer.
• 19:44
  Matt: Huh?
• 19:44
  Matt: I'm sure there is toe cancer.
• 19:46
  Matt: I don't know.
• 19:46
  Eric: Oh, yeah, I know.
• 19:47
  Eric: We just we just lost a very heavy portion of our listener.
• 19:50
  Matt: I'm sure there is.
• 19:51
  Matt: And I it and quite frankly, I apologize.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 19:55
  Eric: Thank you.
• 19:56
  Eric: Thank you.
• 19:57
  Eric: What the fuck?
• 19:58
  Eric: That was a very that was a very that was very sincere feeling.
• 20:01
  Eric: I'm not apologizing to you.
• 20:03
  Eric: I would never do that.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 20:06
  Eric: It it allows you a certain leeway if you use it correctly to to kind of cushion uh negative a blow.
• 20:15
  Eric: A blow, because you can use the next higher rung of descriptor for the blow.
• 20:20
  Eric: Like, so if it's like, oh, you did bad, you can now say, oh, you did good-ish.
• 20:25
  Eric: Like it gives the room for improvement.
• 20:29
  Matt: Yeah, like this episode is turning out good-ish.
• 20:32
  Matt: Ish.
• 20:36
  Matt: Yeah, I I don't know.
• 20:38
  Matt: Have we already nailed it?
• 20:40
  Matt: I feel like we've already nailed it.
• 20:41
  Matt: Are there any other angles we can explore here?
• 20:46
  Matt: Is there any sort of official definition of ish?
• 20:49
  Matt: Ooh.
• 20:49
  Matt: I'm gonna pull up the old Wikipedia here.
• 20:51
  Matt: Let's say it's pop in ish and see what happens.
• 20:55
  Matt: Uh well, there's all kinds of things referred to as ish or or ISA.
• 21:00
  Matt: Oh, this isn't gonna get us anywhere.
• 21:02
  Matt: Okay, hold on.
• 21:03
  Matt: How about dictionary?
• 21:05
  Matt: Oh, I got it.
• 21:06
  Matt: Hold on.
• 21:07
  Matt: Urban Oh, there we go.
• 21:09
  Matt: There we go.
• 21:10
  Matt: Let's go over to urban dictionary, see what they got for ish.
• 21:14
  Matt: Okay, it says the following used instead of the word shit.
• 21:20
  Matt: I have so much ish to do today.
• 21:22
  Eric: Oh, that is true.
• 21:23
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:25
  Eric: Give me an ish.
• 21:26
  Eric: Like that, that I know.
• 21:27
  Eric: I yes.
• 21:28
  Matt: I do think it it it this one basically says it means kind of, and that is true.
• 21:33
  Matt: That is like what it actually means.
• 21:34
  Matt: It means kind of.
• 21:36
  Matt: Sort of ish.
• 21:37
  Matt: Use this at the end of everything, and you'll always be right.
• 21:46
  Matt: Yes.
• 21:47
  Matt: It gives a lot of license.
• 21:49
  Matt: It does.
• 21:50
  Matt: It gives a lot of license.
• 21:52
  Matt: It's the ultimate backdoor out of a conversation, right?
• 21:55
  Matt: Or, you know, a circumstance.
• 21:57
  Matt: Because that doctor could be like Uh when you unfortunately get your toe cancer comes back out of remission, you can be like, hey, I said ish.
• 22:05
  Matt: I said ish.
• 22:06
  Eric: I never promised.
• 22:07
  Eric: It's like when a bunch of co-workers, like you're hanging out at happy hour with some co-workers, and like you've been there long, long enough, everyone can feel it.
• 22:17
  Eric: We're all just waiting for the and then it's kind of the first person to go home.
• 22:21
  Matt: Like there's that first lull in the conversation, it's quiet for a second, and someone just goes, that is the signal to the group that someone needs to some well, what that person should have done is followed that up with well, trying to be hitting the old dusty trail.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Got a kitty to feed.
• 22:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 22:43
  Eric: Some something anything.
• 22:45
  Eric: The best part of owning a cat at any given time.
• 22:47
  Eric: Like, well, gotta get home, feed the cat.
• 22:49
  Matt: Yeah, that's really what pets are there for.
• 22:51
  Matt: Are they are they not?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: New bone of jean.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: By which I referred to my cat, my beloved cat.
• 22:59
  Matt: Oh man.
• 23:00
  Matt: God, I love my cat.
• 23:02
  Matt: I know.
• 23:03
  Matt: I know you do.
• 23:04
  Matt: Anyway, so uh, so yeah, there you go, folks.
• 23:07
  Matt: There's several definitions of ish for you, and I hope this uh, you know, helped you.
• 23:13
  Matt: It probably didn't.
• 23:15
  Matt: It probably did not.
• 23:16
  Matt: Eric, uh, want to give us our next question, please.
• 23:18
  Eric: Oh, baby, I'd be glad to.
• 23:21
  Eric: Our next question comes from the uh the Against All Oddities podcast that's at AAO Podcast on Twitter.
• 23:33
  Eric: If someone got sliced right at the shoulders, did they get their head chopped off or their body?
• 23:39
  Eric: At what point does head chopping turn into body chop?
• 23:41
  Eric: Someone's got a pair of garden shears, clean but not sterile.
• 23:45
  Eric: He looks wiry and fit, but not too strong.
• 23:47
  Eric: He's offering cash for toes.
• 23:50
  Eric: How much cash would you accept for each toe?
• 23:52
  Eric: Both feet to double the money?
• 23:54
  Eric: I'm out of body part chopping questions, I think.
• 23:57
  Eric: Okay.
• 23:58
  Eric: This is the kind of hard-hitting shit we really need on our show.
• 24:01
  Matt: This these came as two separate tweets to us, and the I j together they formed a thought pattern that I found uh you could not be ignored.
• 24:13
  Matt: Yeah.
• 24:13
  Matt: The they demanded our attention.
• 24:17
  Eric: So so let's let's just let's just work our way down.
• 24:20
  Eric: I think we can both agree if someone got sliced right at the shoulders, did they get their head chopped off or their body?
• 24:25
  Eric: I think we can both agree.
• 24:26
  Eric: Head.
• 24:27
  Eric: At the shoulders.
• 24:28
  Eric: At the shoulder, like right at the shoulders.
• 24:30
  Eric: Are any shoulders included, or is it just when I hear right at the shoulders?
• 24:35
  Eric: I think right where your neck meets your shoulders, that's where you got cut.
• 24:38
  Matt: That's your head.
• 24:39
  Matt: I think that's your head.
• 24:41
  Matt: The neck is included, sure, but the neck is only there for the head.
• 24:45
  Matt: It's yes, it the the neck is easily a territory of the head.
• 24:50
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:51
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:52
  Eric: If my head is a pineapple, my neck is the the green bits coming out the top.
• 24:58
  Matt: Yeah, the the neck is just applying for statehood, you know?
• 25:02
  Eric: Yes.
• 25:03
  Eric: Yes.
• 25:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:04
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 25:05
  Eric: Um, at what point does head chopping turn into body chop?
• 25:09
  Eric: I do have an opinion on this, but I'd like to open up the floor, Matthew.
• 25:12
  Matt: I think if the chop in any way is angled downward into the body, the per the body proper.
• 25:20
  Matt: From knave to chop, as they say.
• 25:24
  Matt: Yeah, like if if the chop comes at the neck and is going down like it's go headed towards nipple, that's a body chop.
• 25:32
  Eric: Now, where my thinking is if we're still staying on that horizontal plane of the head chop, uh, you're decapitating me, right?
• 25:39
  Eric: If that slice line moves below my armpits, meaning you my arms are now included in the top half, that's a body chop.
• 25:49
  Eric: That's a body chop.
• 25:51
  Eric: That's a body chop.
• 25:52
  Matt: I think anything under the line you described, just above where the shoulder meets the neck, yeah, that anything under that, in any kind of angle, is a body chop.
• 26:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:03
  Eric: Pits are below, body chop.
• 26:05
  Eric: Nips are below, body chop.
• 26:07
  Matt: So we knock that one out because I think that's the easy part of this question.
• 26:10
  Matt: The difficult part is the toes.
• 26:12
  Eric: Someone's got a pair of garden shears clean but not sterile.
• 26:17
  Matt: Clean but not sterile.
• 26:18
  Eric: But I mean it's really it's the specificity against all oddities for me.
• 26:23
  Eric: And this is what makes Against All Oddities a very generous scene partner.
• 26:28
  Eric: They are giving me so much ground, like they're giving me so much inquisitive ground to work with here.
• 26:34
  Eric: Clean but not sterile.
• 26:36
  Eric: So, so obviously no visible dirt or soilage on the shears, but we but we they have not been, you know.
• 26:45
  Eric: But you're gonna need a tetanus shot.
• 26:47
  Eric: You're gonna need a tetanus shot.
• 26:48
  Eric: They have not been, they have not been sterilized, they have not been boiled, they have not been put through an autoclave, they haven't even been run through the dishwasher.
• 26:56
  Eric: I think uh the audience knows what sterile means.
• 26:58
  Eric: Okay.
• 26:59
  Eric: He looks wiry and fit, but not too strong.
• 27:02
  Eric: So that again, I I know the guy, the kind of person they're describing.
• 27:06
  Eric: It's the kind of person I least want to fight.
• 27:09
  Eric: The scrappy, scrappy kind of scrappy.
• 27:12
  Eric: They got they got ooh, they got tricks up their sleeve.
• 27:15
  Matt: Yeah.
• 27:16
  Matt: They may be able to do that that thing where they run towards a wall and they run over you.
• 27:22
  Eric: Yeah, they may be capable of that.
• 27:24
  Eric: They they might be capable of that.
• 27:26
  Eric: My friend Steve Galindo was was was built like this, and he he could do that.
• 27:31
  Eric: He could run at a wall, run up the wall, and do a backflip.
• 27:34
  Eric: Yeah, that's what I mean.
• 27:36
  Eric: Blew my fucking mind.
• 27:37
  Matt: You can't trust such a person.
• 27:39
  Eric: No, especially not with a pair of garden shears, garden shears.
• 27:42
  Eric: Not ones that are clean but not sterile.
• 27:44
  Eric: So he's offering cash for toes.
• 27:48
  Eric: He wants so in this scenario, he wants to take his clean but not sterile garden shears, snip off my little toesy woezies, my little piggies.
• 27:56
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:56
  Eric: And with no sort of anesthesia.
• 27:58
  Eric: No sort of anesthesia, uh, I am responsible for infection control, as evidenced by the fact that, you know, he's at least, you know, they're not covered in blood or the day is your day is officially disrupted.
• 28:10
  Matt: You're going straight to an urgent care.
• 28:12
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 28:14
  Eric: And imagine explaining that.
• 28:16
  Eric: How much cash would you accept for each toe?
• 28:19
  Eric: What would your explanation be to the sorry, let's pause.
• 28:21
  Eric: What would your explanation be to the patient first people?
• 28:24
  Eric: Oh.
• 28:25
  Eric: You're hobbling into patient first, your new balance is full of blood.
• 28:31
  Matt: I don't think you need to explain anything.
• 28:33
  Matt: I think you walk in, they're gonna see the situation and go, cash for toes.
• 28:36
  Eric: You're telling me in.
• 28:45
  Eric: Oh, you meant Hector, huh?
• 28:48
  Eric: Oh my God.
• 28:49
  Eric: I need toes now.
• 28:51
  Eric: Called called JG Toesworth 877 Toes now.
• 28:55
  Eric: Wow, good work, man.
• 28:56
  Eric: Good pull.
• 28:57
  Eric: Thank you, thank you.
• 28:58
  Eric: Um JG Toesworth.
• 29:00
  Eric: JG Toesworth.
• 29:02
  Matt: Okay, so you're you're you're wearing an up to JG Toesworth.
• 29:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:06
  Matt: And he's offering you cash.
• 29:08
  Eric: I love instant classic character, JG Toesworth.
• 29:14
  Matt: And he walks up to you, he's wiry, and he's wiry.
• 29:19
  Matt: He's not wearing a shirt, but he's wearing slacks and a belt.
• 29:23
  Matt: He's offering you cash for toes, and behind him is a chorus of people going J G Toesworth.
• 29:30
  Eric: 877 Toes now.
• 29:32
  Eric: Yes.
• 29:34
  Eric: They just follow him along.
• 29:36
  Eric: I I'd say we have a pretty decent contender there.
• 29:39
  Eric: Oh, well, we'll have to cut that.
• 29:42
  Eric: Oh man, because I No, and I'm gonna say it.
• 29:44
  Eric: That's a pretty decent contender for mascot, which by the way, I would be remiss.
• 29:50
  Eric: Uh, little segment within the segment here.
• 29:52
  Eric: Yeah, we have gotten our our very first submission for mascot, and it's not fairness, in fairness, a little asterisk.
• 29:59
  Matt: We are recording this episode only days after recording the last one.
• 30:05
  Matt: So the uh go on, Eric.
• 30:07
  Matt: The the we have not yet even opened up a the mascot contest on Twitter properly, but it continue.
• 30:15
  Eric: Uh submitted to us by none other than Mike Purry Jr., uh recently guested on our show, amazing human.
• 30:23
  Eric: He he submitted the following mascot.
• 30:26
  Eric: He threw his hat into the ring.
• 30:27
  Eric: I'm just gonna read his text.
• 30:28
  Eric: The Askhole.
• 30:30
  Eric: A small British man with a cicada head in a suit and a little bowler cap with a question mark on it.
• 30:37
  Eric: Love it.
• 30:38
  Eric: And I will draw this mascot professionally for you.
• 30:41
  Eric: Mike, you are a fucking saint.
• 30:43
  Matt: So he came to play, folks.
• 30:45
  Matt: So and what I would love swinging.
• 30:48
  Matt: I said this to Mike too.
• 30:49
  Matt: What I would love nothing more was I would I would love that if we could get enough submissions that we could do a full mascot madness bracket.
• 31:00
  Matt: Yes.
• 31:01
  Matt: I would love to dedicate an episode to doing that.
• 31:04
  Matt: Oh my god, a bloodbath of mascots.
• 31:06
  Matt: Get those mascot suggestions into us.
• 31:08
  Matt: Should we move back onto topic?
• 31:11
  Matt: A massacre rot.
• 31:12
  Matt: J G Toesworth is here and he's offering.
• 31:15
  Matt: Which brings me right back to JG Toesworth, ladies and gentlemen.
• 31:18
  Matt: Let's get right back to J G Toesworth.
• 31:20
  Matt: J G Toesworth, he's got his sack of toes and uh assumingly a sack of money.
• 31:25
  Matt: So I think first I need to know he's offering cash for toes.
• 31:31
  Matt: That implies he has the cash on him.
• 31:33
  Matt: I need to know what the upper limit is immediately.
• 31:37
  Matt: Because Eric, I'm gonna put it to you.
• 31:39
  Matt: I think I know my number.
• 31:41
  Matt: What is your number?
• 31:42
  Matt: Cash for toes.
• 31:43
  Eric: For one toe.
• 31:44
  Eric: How much cash do I accept for each toe?
• 31:46
  Eric: And and mind you, I'm examining like where I am in my life.
• 31:49
  Eric: Yeah.
• 31:50
  Eric: What amount of money could fix a whole lot of problems that also wouldn't be negated by the fact that I'm now missing a toe.
• 31:57
  Eric: I'd say it's gotta be at least$50,000 a toe.
• 32:01
  Matt: You are going to give up a toe for$50K?
• 32:05
  Eric: Yeah, man.
• 32:06
  Eric: I'd give up a toe for$50K.
• 32:08
  Eric: Hell yeah.
• 32:09
  Eric: I think for me personally, each toe after that exponentially increases the price.
• 32:16
  Eric: A couple of toes.
• 32:17
  Eric: First toe,$50,000.
• 32:19
  Eric: Second toe,$100,000.
• 32:22
  Eric: So on and so forth.
• 32:23
  Matt: Abso fucking not.
• 32:25
  Matt: I couldn't disagree with you more.
• 32:27
  Matt: Don't sell yourself and your toes short, Eric.
• 32:31
  Matt: But I need cash now.
• 32:33
  Matt: You need cash now, and you're gonna see how much JG Toe's worth is made of.
• 32:38
  Matt: We'll see where if he can put his toes where his mouth is.
• 32:40
  Matt: Because let me tell you, Eric, one, it depends on the toe.
• 32:43
  Matt: It depends on the toe.
• 32:46
  Eric: So if he gets to pick the toe, oh bro.
• 32:49
  Eric: Wait, does it say that?
• 32:50
  Matt: Does he say he gets to pick the toe?
• 32:51
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 32:52
  Eric: We have not established.
• 32:52
  Eric: We have not established.
• 32:54
  Matt: No, he doesn't say he gets to pick the toe.
• 32:56
  Eric: If he if I get to pick the toe, I stick with my guns on this.
• 32:59
  Eric: If he gets to pick the toe, bruh, bruh.
• 33:03
  Matt: Well, one thing we know is we get to pick the price.
• 33:06
  Matt: We get to pick the price.
• 33:07
  Matt: And assuming he has the funds and I have the toes, I am I I'm gonna start on the side here, okay?
• 33:17
  Matt: Pinky toe.
• 33:19
  Matt: No less, no less than a million dollars.
• 33:23
  Matt: Okay.
• 33:26
  Matt: You value those little pitties.
• 33:28
  Matt: If you lose a pinky toe, your fucking balance is gone.
• 33:31
  Matt: It's gone.
• 33:32
  Matt: You're fucked.
• 33:33
  Matt: So yeah, so like you need to have that pinky toe.
• 33:38
  Matt: And you're gonna tell me you're gonna let one go for$50,000.
• 33:42
  Matt: That's less than a than a high-end car.
• 33:45
  Eric: Well, no, that's if I'm if I'm picking, that's like ring toe.
• 33:49
  Eric: Ringtoe.
• 33:49
  Eric: That's that's that's 50 foul.
• 33:51
  Matt: You think he's gonna get in to the ringtoe with his clean, not sterile shears and take it off cleanly?
• 33:59
  Eric: I mean, I I I would hope that they're gonna have to take another toe.
• 34:03
  Eric: He's gonna get a toe for free that way.
• 34:04
  Eric: I would hope JG Toesworth knows his business.
• 34:07
  Matt: Now, let's say he wants the big toe.
• 34:10
  Eric: If he wants the big the big boy that he wants my dummy thick big toe.
• 34:16
  Eric: I can't go under 10 mil.
• 34:18
  Matt: Oh, yeah, it's uh it's a I can't go under 10 mil because listen, my life is about to dramatically change.
• 34:24
  Matt: I'm gonna be crippled.
• 34:25
  Matt: I'm gonna at the very least need some sort of artificial toe.
• 34:30
  Matt: Potentially, based on the clean, not sterile description, I could be losing a foot here.
• 34:35
  Eric: That is true.
• 34:35
  Eric: There is a non-zero chance that infection takes the rest of the little piggies.
• 34:39
  Eric: That there's a non-zero chance.
• 34:41
  Matt: That's why A, you gotta go straight to urgent care.
• 34:44
  Matt: And B, you could be looking at having to get yourself an artificial foot.
• 34:48
  Matt: And if that's the case in this, in our healthcare system, that's gonna cost you a couple pretty pennies.
• 34:54
  Eric: Man, talk about a gig economy.
• 34:56
  Matt: And you wanna give get rid of a toe, a ring toe for$50,000.
• 35:02
  Eric: This is why I should not.
• 35:03
  Eric: I knew this was a trap the second you fucking asked me.
• 35:05
  Eric: I knew it was like$50,000.
• 35:07
  Eric: It wasn't meant to be a trap.
• 35:09
  Eric: I'm gonna learn very quickly how how little I value my body compared to compared to Matthew.
• 35:14
  Matt: Eric, hold on.
• 35:15
  Matt: I'm doing I want to give you a little thought estimate, okay?
• 35:18
  Eric: I I want to say I've got to come out on top on this because you bring up a very good point about our healthcare system.
• 35:24
  Eric: Uh the deal with JG Toesworth would be hey, you're gonna give me enough money to cover all of my medical expenses plus fitty foul on the top.
• 35:34
  Eric: I'm not trying to sell a Tozy for Fitty Foul, get hit, go to like, you know, that's what you are saying, though.
• 35:40
  Eric: Mercy Hospital, and then get hit with that bill, and they're like, oh, that'll be eighty thousand dollars, please.
• 35:45
  Eric: That's that is exactly what I'm trying to say to you.
• 35:48
  Eric: I I I I am a I am I am putting an addendum-ish on my answer.
• 35:55
  Matt: All right, Eric, just base.
• 35:58
  Matt: I just just as a base, okay?
• 36:00
  Matt: I'm gonna put this in perspective.
• 36:01
  Matt: I knew you'd crunch these numbers.
• 36:03
  Matt: Yeah, go on.
• 36:04
  Matt: A 2023 BMW 530i sedan.
• 36:12
  Eric: Sedan, Eric.
• 36:13
  Eric: What's what's the uh what's the interior?
• 36:16
  Matt: Everything this is all custom, this is all out of the box.
• 36:19
  Matt: Nothing.
• 36:20
  Matt: So let's see, what does it got?
• 36:21
  Matt: It's got ivory white leather, uh Dakota leather with contrast stitching.
• 36:27
  Matt: White leather, really, gray poplar wood trim.
• 36:32
  Matt: Do love poplar.
• 36:33
  Matt: 19 inch V Spoke burnished orbit gray wheels.
• 36:38
  Matt: That means something, Eric.
• 36:40
  Eric: That me those words mean things.
• 36:43
  Matt: And it's an Arctic race blue, and it can be yours for 62,000 new dollars in 2023, and you are just sold your ringtoe for medical expenses that wouldn't that aren't even probably gonna cover the medical expenses, let alone a BMW.
• 37:01
  Eric: That is why I put an addendum-ish on my answer.
• 37:09
  Matt: I'm just I'm just saying, Eric, I want you to put some stock into yourself.
• 37:15
  Eric: Okay, that's insane.
• 37:17
  Eric: Puts me in spitting distance of a BMW, I'll take it.
• 37:20
  Matt: For a toesy?
• 37:22
  Matt: For a little tozy woezy.
• 37:24
  Matt: That's what I'm saying.
• 37:25
  Matt: I'm willing to entertain giving my toes over to JG Toesworth.
• 37:31
  Matt: I'm willing to entertain this, but uh what I am receiving has got to not only change my life, it has to, it has to go so far.
• 37:42
  Matt: The pendulum has to swing so far in the other direction.
• 37:45
  Matt: I can quit my job, I don't have to fucking work.
• 37:48
  Matt: That's the kind of money I want.
• 37:50
  Matt: So if JG Toesworth is gonna open up his bag and be like, oh, oh yeah, I I mean I only have 500k on my on me.
• 37:58
  Matt: Matt, why are you showing me your toes, Eric?
• 38:01
  Eric: Matt, how would what would you rate these tozies if you had to appraise these these these these little grippers?
• 38:08
  Matt: Bring them back from the camera just a little bit.
• 38:09
  Matt: I'm getting some lens flare.
• 38:11
  Matt: Yeah, it turned into a real like JJ Abrams flick there.
• 38:15
  Matt: First of all, Eric, your your feet are filthy.
• 38:18
  Eric: They are.
• 38:18
  Eric: They are they are visibly dirty.
• 38:22
  Matt: Uh they are visibly filthy feet.
• 38:26
  Eric: Uh look at my grippers, Matthew.
• 38:29
  Matt: I'm looking at 'em.
• 38:30
  Matt: Um I don't particularly like them.
• 38:35
  Matt: The front.
• 38:37
  Matt: I'm seeing the front.
• 38:38
  Matt: You've got better toes than I do for sure.
• 38:41
  Matt: Hold on.
• 38:41
  Matt: Let me see.
• 38:41
  Matt: Yeah, let me see these toesies.
• 38:43
  Matt: Okay.
• 38:44
  Matt: So like take a look at.
• 38:46
  Eric: Oh, those are perfectly serviceable toys, Matthew.
• 38:48
  Matt: Look at those little piggies.
• 38:49
  Matt: Yeah, but look at the nail on that pinky toe if I can get it down.
• 38:53
  Matt: Oh, it's it's non-existent.
• 38:54
  Matt: It's it's gnarled and gross.
• 38:57
  Matt: Oh, absolutely.
• 39:00
  Eric: Very cute feet, Matthew.
• 39:02
  Matt: Yeah, I sometimes I refer to them as my moneymakers because here's what I think.
• 39:06
  Matt: I I've said this to Lindsay.
• 39:08
  Matt: Surely there is a buyer out there.
• 39:12
  Matt: Oh, yes.
• 39:13
  Eric: For pictures of my kind of hairy toes.
• 39:17
  Eric: You know what, gang?
• 39:18
  Eric: In fact, another public service announcement within the podcast.
• 39:22
  Eric: Sell your toes online.
• 39:24
  Eric: No matter who you are, if in your darkest day when you're feeling just most down, if you're not, if you know, because we all have those days where we we wake up and we're just we're not we're not feeling ourselves.
• 39:35
  Eric: We're not feeling like we we look in the mirror, like never forget that somewhere, someone will pay very good money to see those grippers.
• 39:47
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 39:48
  Eric: They will pay like your your tozies, your your pitties, your piggies, they are beautiful, and someone wants to like watch you dip them in an ice cream sundae or something, and they will pay you a lot of money to do this.
• 40:03
  Matt: And that is why I if JG Toesworth wants to take my toes, my little piggies to market for the last time, I am going to need, I am going to demand enough cash in return that I that I will be able to forget my little piggies.
• 40:24
  Eric: Let's say your offer that's too that's too high a price for him, and he hits you with this instead.
• 40:29
  Eric: He says, Let me eat an ice cream sundae off of your toesies.
• 40:33
  Eric: Okay.
• 40:34
  Eric: How much what's that entirely different question?
• 40:36
  Eric: What's the what's the going rate?
• 40:38
  Matt: An ice cream sundae off of my toes?
• 40:40
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:41
  Matt: It's right there on the sidewalk he's gonna do this?
• 40:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:44
  Matt: That actually makes me that makes me feel so much better that he doesn't want to go to a private second location.
• 40:52
  Matt: If if he if he's gonna do this right here on the street, that then 50k seems reasonable to me.
• 41:02
  Eric: Oh man, I'd go wait.
• 41:03
  Eric: If he's just eating ice cream off my toes, he's at bet.
• 41:05
  Eric: I just get to close my eyes, I get tickled for a little bit.
• 41:09
  Eric: Okay, so how low are you willing to go?
• 41:11
  Eric: If he wants to to eat that that that banana split off my grippers, I'd do it for like I'd do it for like 2K.
• 41:22
  Matt: Would you do it for like 500 bucks?
• 41:24
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 41:24
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:25
  Matt: You do it for 500 bucks.
• 41:26
  Eric: I'd hem and I would ha.
• 41:29
  Matt: But yeah.
• 41:29
  Matt: Sure.
• 41:30
  Matt: All right.
• 41:30
  Matt: Well, I just learned that you and I are two different.
• 41:35
  Matt: Yeah, well, sh uh what I was what I'm saying here is what I I think I and the listeners have learned is that you and I are in two different tiers of sex work.
• 41:44
  Eric: That's what uh that's what I you are the just your body is a temple, my body is a waffle house.
• 41:50
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:51
  Matt: For me, you're going to Nordstrom and you're going to Ollie's.
• 41:55
  Eric: You're out here like fucking picking out diamond crusted toe rings.
• 42:00
  Eric: I'm over here like, do you want them smothered, covered, slathered?
• 42:04
  Matt: No, honestly, uh to be honest, if if if it was 500 bucks, depending on the s depending on what this guy looked like, okay, JG Toesworth.
• 42:12
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:12
  Matt: If he looked squirrely, I am going to describe him again.
• 42:17
  Eric: I established this lore very early on.
• 42:19
  Eric: He is that wiry, he's not wearing a shirt, but he is wearing uh uh suspenders and slacks.
• 42:25
  Eric: Yeah, that was a given that he was wearing suspenders and slacks.
• 42:28
  Eric: They are clean and pressed.
• 42:29
  Eric: He's wearing very nice, he's wearing Oxford's.
• 42:31
  Eric: He's wearing very nice shoes.
• 42:33
  Matt: I am picturing picturing JG Went Wentworth as the face.
• 42:37
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 42:38
  Eric: Yeah, and he's got he's got like a briefcase full of money in one hand and the garden shears in the other.
• 42:44
  Matt: I'm picturing JG Wentworth's.
• 42:46
  Eric: He's handcuffed to the briefcase.
• 42:48
  Matt: I'm picturing JG Wentworth's face, but he has a curly Q mustache.
• 42:54
  Eric: Yes.
• 42:54
  Matt: As an old timey prospect.
• 42:57
  Eric: Yes.
• 42:57
  Eric: Or like that guy you see on like all the hardware trucks in Baltimore, like the very fancy hardware trucks.
• 43:04
  Matt: Yeah, I think I think I think we've answered the question.
• 43:07
  Eric: I think we've we've we've hit it right on the side.
• 43:11
  Matt: And uh Against All Oddities, we thank you for it.
• 43:14
  Matt: And uh by all means, listeners, please go check out Against All Oddities, wherever you get your pods.
• 43:21
  Matt: Uh, but we do have another question, Eric, before we get over to the uh the old Google gripes there.
• 43:27
  Matt: And it's an important one.
• 43:28
  Matt: And it's one we've touched on before.
• 43:30
  Matt: If Airbud were to enter the joust, would he be the mount or the rider?
• 43:37
  Matt: Is there a rule saying dogs can't be in the joust?
• 43:42
  Matt: That comes from at gandalf.wave on Instagram.
• 43:45
  Eric: It's an incredible name.
• 43:47
  Eric: Uh, which also uh gandalf.wave is my good friend Harry, who uh I DM for in Dungeons and Door Dragons.
• 43:55
  Eric: Harry is such an incredible human being.
• 43:57
  Eric: And and this is exactly the kind of top.
• 44:00
  Eric: Top tier fucking content he would bring us.
• 44:02
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 44:03
  Matt: So so I hate the idea that he's the mount.
• 44:07
  Matt: I'm gonna say that right off the bat.
• 44:08
  Eric: Yeah, I don't, I don't he would not do well as a mount.
• 44:12
  Eric: Like that's just pointless.
• 44:14
  Eric: That's just an exercise in futility.
• 44:16
  Eric: Do you know how much an armored knight weighs?
• 44:20
  Eric: A lot of about 250 pounds on the s on the on the on the light end.
• 44:24
  Eric: If it was JG Toesworth in the in the armor.
• 44:27
  Eric: JG JG Toesworth is the only person worthy of mount of riding Airbud as a mount.
• 44:35
  Matt: Yeah.
• 44:36
  Matt: First of all, don't do that.
• 44:37
  Matt: He's a golden retriever.
• 44:38
  Matt: Um he's not built for that sort of thing.
• 44:40
  Eric: No, no.
• 44:41
  Eric: They're not beasts of burden.
• 44:42
  Eric: They're not beast of burden.
• 44:43
  Eric: You cannot.
• 44:44
  Eric: So I'm not pleasure.
• 44:46
  Eric: So we're agreed.
• 44:47
  Eric: He it it is ten times funnier if he is the mount.
• 44:51
  Eric: Sorry, um, it is ten times funnier if he is the rider.
• 44:53
  Matt: It is ten times funnier if he is the rider, but I do say practically he would have no rider.
• 45:00
  Matt: He would hold the joust in his mouth.
• 45:03
  Matt: Uh, you mean the lance?
• 45:06
  Eric: Yeah.
• 45:07
  Eric: Yeah.
• 45:08
  Eric: It is our official sport, Matthew.
• 45:10
  Eric: Riding is the official sport of Maryland.
• 45:12
  Eric: It is lacrosse is our official team sport.
• 45:16
  Eric: Yes.
• 45:17
  Eric: Jousting is our official sport.
• 45:18
  Matt: You are correct.
• 45:19
  Matt: I I stand corrected and humbled.
• 45:23
  Matt: So he's got the lance in his mouth.
• 45:25
  Matt: Or at best, he's got the lance like somehow tucked under his little legs at like in his pit as he's running.
• 45:33
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:34
  Matt: The that would be how they did it in a movie.
• 45:36
  Matt: I feel pretty confident about that.
• 45:39
  Matt: But the funnier answer is to see Airbud holding a lance on a horse.
• 45:47
  Eric: Yes, that is that is exactly what I desire.
• 45:51
  Eric: Also, Matt, I'm gonna drop oh man, I'm gonna send you something.
• 45:56
  Eric: Where the fuck did it go?
• 45:57
  Eric: There we go.
• 45:58
  Eric: Hold on.
• 45:59
  Matt: Okay, okay.
• 46:01
  Matt: Okay.
• 46:02
  Matt: So what Eric has sent me is a very important image of dogs doing exactly what we're describing.
• 46:09
  Matt: We would do this on the Instagram.
• 46:11
  Matt: They're very good boys.
• 46:13
  Matt: Actually, this Saint Bernard looks, I want to say drunk.
• 46:18
  Matt: I want to say perplexed.
• 46:21
  Matt: But they are regal, they are in like Victorian ad.
• 46:25
  Eric: Splendid.
• 46:26
  Eric: They're they're they have streamers and banners, they just having a good old doggo joust.
• 46:32
  Matt: So I think this is pretty straightforward.
• 46:34
  Matt: He definitely would not be the mount.
• 46:36
  Matt: No, he is the rider.
• 46:38
  Matt: He is the rider, but I do think, practically speaking, if they were to come back with an Airbud movie about jousting, which would be called Oh, um Airbud.
• 46:51
  Eric: Oh, oh, oh, here we go.
• 46:52
  Eric: Matt, got it, nailed it.
• 46:54
  Eric: Renaissance Fairbud.
• 47:00
  Matt: Yeah, Renaissance Fairbuddle.
• 47:02
  Eric: That one's free.
• 47:03
  Matt: That one's free, yes, sure.
• 47:05
  Matt: Um the the reboot of uh Airbud, yeah.
• 47:10
  Matt: I am also in that he would be doing it all himself, is what I'm saying.
• 47:14
  Eric: Wait, when you say doing it by himself, he wouldn't be on a horse?
• 47:17
  Matt: I'm saying no, no rider.
• 47:19
  Eric: He's gotta be on a horse.
• 47:20
  Matt: No, I don't think so.
• 47:22
  Matt: I do not think so.
• 47:22
  Eric: He's jousting humans.
• 47:24
  Matt: He's jousting humans.
• 47:25
  Matt: He I'm telling you, in the movie, they would do this.
• 47:29
  Matt: He'd be holding the lance in his little mouth or under his armpit as he's running somehow.
• 47:35
  Eric: And he would it just be so much harder than just putting him on the horse.
• 47:40
  Matt: No, he'd jump, Eric.
• 47:41
  Matt: He's very athletic.
• 47:43
  Matt: He had a storied career as a basketball player.
• 47:46
  Matt: Okay.
• 47:47
  Matt: He would launch into the air and joust that man.
• 47:51
  Matt: All right.
• 47:52
  Matt: Who would who would be blown off of his horse in a in a shower of splinters?
• 47:57
  Eric: I feel like that's gotta be like part of the role.
• 47:59
  Eric: I feel like being on the horse, like that's you gotta.
• 48:02
  Eric: You gotta.
• 48:03
  Eric: How's he gonna sit on the horse, Eric?
• 48:05
  Eric: How are you gonna film a dog?
• 48:09
  Eric: If he can sink a three-pointer from across court, he could sit on a horse.
• 48:14
  Eric: No, he can't, Eric.
• 48:16
  Eric: Think about his little legs.
• 48:17
  Matt: He's gonna how's he gonna hold strap him in?
• 48:24
  Matt: Well, of course, Airbud has to consent.
• 48:27
  Matt: Eric.
• 48:30
  Matt: How's he gonna get his little leg?
• 48:32
  Matt: They don't bend that way.
• 48:33
  Matt: They can't he can't straddle a horse.
• 48:35
  Matt: He can't sit a horse in real life.
• 48:38
  Matt: Not with not with just his back legs.
• 48:41
  Matt: He'd have to like be hugging him with all four, like he's laying down on top of him.
• 48:45
  Matt: That he could probably do.
• 48:47
  Matt: And then he's holding the lance in his mouth.
• 48:49
  Matt: All right.
• 48:50
  Matt: And that's a ridiculous image.
• 48:52
  Matt: You can't make a Disney Channel original movie out of that.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you could.
• 48:56
  Eric: They they they oh you you could.
• 49:00
  Eric: Sure.
• 49:00
  Eric: They if they can give us Brink, they can give us this.
• 49:03
  Matt: I'm telling you that I think if they were to make this movie, he'd be smart house, they can give us this.
• 49:10
  Matt: They'd be doing it all himself.
• 49:11
  Matt: Airbutt, of course, not a Disney Channel original movie.
• 49:14
  Matt: And the uh he'd be doing it all himself, but if he had to be one of the two, he'd be the rider.
• 49:21
  Eric: So I I do want to, Matt, I've pulled up Gamerules.com.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 49:26
  Eric: Apparently uh a uh a repository of you know game rules.
• 49:32
  Eric: Game rules.
• 49:33
  Eric: Yeah, I got I put that together myself.
• 49:34
  Eric: Believe me.
• 49:35
  Eric: So they have an entire they have a page on jousting.
• 49:38
  Eric: This is fucking phenomenal.
• 49:40
  Eric: Uh because it gives the breakdown at the top of the article.
• 49:42
  Eric: Objective of jousting score more points than the opponent by either knocking them off their horse or breaking the lance by making solid contact with the opponent's armor.
• 49:50
  Eric: Number of players, two players.
• 49:53
  Eric: Materials, lance, horse, shield, and a full suit of armor per player.
• 49:58
  Eric: Type of game sport, audience, eight plus.
• 50:03
  Eric: Uh can't do it in front of four seven people.
• 50:07
  Eric: So I'm looking, they they have different kinds of jousting.
• 50:10
  Eric: There's uh there's traditional jousting, which is you know, two knights right at each other trying to hit the other.
• 50:15
  Eric: Let's see.
• 50:16
  Eric: Ah, here's the the relevant section to Harry's question.
• 50:20
  Eric: Is there anything in the rules that says a dog can't joust?
• 50:23
  Eric: As there is no governing body for jousting rules and regulations, scoring systems differ between tournaments.
• 50:29
  Eric: For example, some contests decide to score based on the severity of the lance's shattering, while others focus on the area in which the lance made contact.
• 50:38
  Eric: Although there is no official method or guidelines regarding scoring, Destrier, a prominent modern jousting organization, specifically employs the following system for scoring.
• 50:49
  Eric: So I just want to pause there.
• 50:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 50:51
  Eric: Folks, you heard it here first.
• 50:53
  Eric: There is a no rules officially regarding jousting, which means there is nothing in the rules that says a dog can't joust.
• 51:03
  Eric: We are on, baby.
• 51:05
  Eric: We are on.
• 51:06
  Eric: We are fucking set.
• 51:08
  Eric: We are on.
• 51:08
  Eric: We're gonna get that kid away from his abusive father.
• 51:12
  Matt: Welcome to the Renaissance Fairbud.
• 51:15
  Matt: But what I did hear is that a requisite material is a horse.
• 51:22
  Eric: Is a horse.
• 51:23
  Eric: There's a horse.
• 51:25
  Matt: He is gonna have to sit the horse.
• 51:26
  Matt: He is gonna have to sit the horse.
• 51:28
  Matt: Uh in which case I think he holds it under his arm.
• 51:32
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:32
  Eric: They just tuck it on.
• 51:34
  Eric: It's like that scene in a night's tale with lash it to me um.
• 51:37
  Eric: What?
• 51:37
  Eric: No, Will, no, I can't I can't be saying lash it to me um.
• 51:41
  Eric: That's gonna be Airbud.
• 51:43
  Eric: He's gonna go Airbud, I can't.
• 51:46
  Eric: I can't do this.
• 51:47
  Eric: This is so illegal.
• 51:49
  Eric: Alright.
• 51:50
  Eric: And I lash it to his little little paws.
• 51:53
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 51:55
  Matt: So there you go.
• 51:57
  Matt: There you go.
• 51:57
  Matt: Gandoff dot wave.
• 51:59
  Eric: Yeah, we got you.
• 52:00
  Eric: That's how we do it.
• 52:01
  Matt: Nothing says dogs can't joust.
• 52:03
  Matt: Nothing says dogs can't joust.
• 52:05
  Eric: And who are we to say so?
• 52:07
  Eric: Who are oh my god, just imagine the scene like when he shows up on the scene for the first time, he takes everyone by surprise.
• 52:13
  Eric: Because here's actually what I think they're gonna do.
• 52:15
  Eric: They're not gonna give him custom doggy armor, would be cute.
• 52:18
  Eric: I think they're gonna do like a Scooby-Doo-esque.
• 52:20
  Eric: They're gonna have a full set of that.
• 52:22
  Eric: That's how we get him to sit on the horse.
• 52:24
  Eric: Because they they they put Airbud in like an empty suit of people armor, and then and then and then when he rides up afterwards, and the and the king is like, To what do I owe?
• 52:34
  Eric: Like, what what knight are you name thee?
• 52:37
  Eric: Raise thy helm.
• 52:38
  Matt: And like and he he flips open the visor and out comes this little snoot zones.
• 52:46
  Eric: Yes.
• 52:47
  Eric: Oh man, I'd see this film.
• 52:48
  Eric: I'd see God.
• 52:50
  Eric: I would see the shit out of this film.
• 52:52
  Matt: And I'd give it a good review, too.
• 52:54
  Matt: Speaking of reviews.
• 52:56
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 52:56
  Matt: Eric, I think it's time.
• 52:59
  Matt: I think it's time that we get into Google Gripes.
• 53:03
  Matt: Gripe, gripe, gripe.
• 53:03
  Matt: GG, baby.
• 53:06
  Matt: Season two, round three, the final round.
• 53:10
  Matt: Uh, for those of you who might be joining us from the very first time, Google Gripes is a segment where we read one-star Google reviews of well-known places that's as vague as uh and specific as we care to be.
• 53:25
  Matt: And uh one of us tries to guess these locations and then we uh switch off.
• 53:32
  Matt: I won the first season, but this season, the current score of the Google gripes is three to two after two rounds.
• 53:44
  Matt: I have only gotten two.
• 53:46
  Matt: I got a goose egg on the last one, and Eric only got one on his uh on his last attempt.
• 53:52
  Matt: So, Eric, you come into the final round with an advantage, a distinct one-point advantage.
• 54:01
  Matt: If I cannot deliver some goods here, I we you you would win already.
• 54:11
  Matt: I have to at least, at least get one of these right to force a tie.
• 54:18
  Eric: And I am confident you will get at least one of these.
• 54:20
  Matt: Yeah, well, you fucking said that last time, Eric, and then you fucked me.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 54:26
  Matt: So you're good to go over there, Eric.
• 54:28
  Matt: Oh, I am good to go.
• 54:29
  Matt: I got my paper out to write down some guesses in my own head.
• 54:34
  Matt: I refuse to leave this round empty, fucking handed.
• 54:39
  Matt: I refuse to hand you a win before I even get to play before we play the bottom of the ninth, so to speak.
• 54:47
  Matt: Okay.
• 54:48
  Eric: Okay.
• 54:48
  Matt: So hit me, Eric.
• 54:50
  Matt: First location.
• 54:51
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 54:52
  Eric: First review.
• 54:54
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 54:56
  Eric: It is always open at the most annoying times and super overrated.
• 55:01
  Eric: They charge you extra to walk into it, and it's just one oversized box.
• 55:06
  Eric: They lit up the tree around it and charge people to see those as well.
• 55:10
  Eric: And the gift shop is so insanely overpriced.
• 55:12
  Eric: The cheapest thing there was a$10 pen.
• 55:18
  Eric: Review number two.
• 55:20
  Eric: The visage and concept was nice thanks to Paul Rubens.
• 55:24
  Eric: The gardens looked okay, but you could watch Bojack Horseman for better laughs at horse.
• 55:30
  Eric: That's it.
• 55:31
  Eric: That's it.
• 55:33
  Eric: Paul Rubens and Gardens?
• 55:35
  Eric: Massive hint that was.
• 55:37
  Eric: Third review.
• 55:38
  Eric: Much like the first time you saw your boyfriend's genitals, you first thought, maybe, wow, it's smaller than I thought.
• 55:45
  Eric: No photography on the inside, not like you would want to, but don't they say it's a shire?
• 55:50
  Eric: But really, if you knew what was inside, you wouldn't pay for the audio tour.
• 55:54
  Eric: History buff, check it out once for all others.
• 55:57
  Eric: Look at it as you pass the holy wax museum, and you'll know what this town is all about.
• 56:03
  Eric: This town?
• 56:05
  Eric: Oh shit.
• 56:06
  Matt: I thought I knew I'm in a total I'm totally wrong.
• 56:12
  Matt: Uh fuck me.
• 56:15
  Matt: Oh no, I was gearing up to answer after the first review.
• 56:19
  Matt: Now, if it's of any help.
• 56:21
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 56:23
  Eric: They wrote this town.
• 56:24
  Eric: I guess they mean like the s the nearby areas or whatever.
• 56:28
  Eric: I I I don't know.
• 56:30
  Eric: I wouldn't get too hung up on that.
• 56:33
  Eric: The box.
• 56:34
  Matt: We've got the box.
• 56:36
  Matt: It's an oversized box.
• 56:37
  Matt: Oversized box, it's smaller than I thought.
• 56:42
  Matt: Paul Rubens.
• 56:44
  Matt: I assume that's gotta be a reference to Pee-wee's big adventure.
• 56:49
  Matt: And he goes all over the place in Bob.
• 56:52
  Eric: Oh, he goes so many places.
• 56:56
  Eric: Shit, you gotta give me the second one.
• 56:59
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:59
  Eric: The visage and concept was nice thanks to Paul Rubens.
• 57:03
  Eric: The gardens looked okay, but you could watch Bojack Horseman for better laughs at horse.
• 57:08
  Eric: I'll be clear with you, I have no idea what the fuck that last sentence is about.
• 57:12
  Eric: Okay.
• 57:13
  Matt: But thank you so much for including it as something I have to go off of.
• 57:18
  Matt: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 57:19
  Matt: You have included so many clues that mean nothing.
• 57:23
  Eric: I have to stay true to these reviews.
• 57:26
  Eric: I have to capture their truth.
• 57:29
  Eric: Who the fuck am I to tell these people that their words do not matter?
• 57:35
  Eric: They matter very much.
• 57:36
  Eric: They're gonna make you lose this game very badly.
• 57:39
  Eric: I'm very I'm indebted to them.
• 57:41
  Eric: You have included so many clues that are that you just admitted to me you don't know what they mean.
• 57:46
  Eric: Such a massive one, though.
• 57:48
  Eric: Okay, I won't tell you what it is.
• 57:50
  Matt: Being the Paul Rubens?
• 57:52
  Matt: Mayhap.
• 57:53
  Matt: You said you already said you just said I won't tell you what it was as I'm at?
• 57:58
  Matt: As if you said, yes, right now, you're not playing the reviews, you're playing me.
• 58:02
  Matt: Eric, you just said to me, I'm not gonna give you the I'm not gonna tell you which one it is.
• 58:07
  Matt: But when you said Paul Rubens, you went to the case.
• 58:09
  Matt: I don't know if I remember that.
• 58:11
  Matt: All right.
• 58:12
  Matt: I don't remember Pee-wee's big adventure so great that I remember all the places he went.
• 58:18
  Matt: But one place I do remember he went to is when he said, uh, the stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas.
• 58:30
  Matt: Okay.
• 58:30
  Matt: And for that reason, I'm trying to think of history because history buffs might go there.
• 58:36
  Matt: And something that is smaller than you might expect has led me to a guess that I don't feel great about.
• 58:43
  Matt: But I'm gonna give it to you.
• 58:45
  Matt: I'm gonna lock it in.
• 58:47
  Matt: Okay.
• 58:48
  Matt: The Alamo.
• 58:50
  Matt: Okay.
• 58:51
  Matt: One moment, Matthew.
• 58:52
  Matt: I'm pretty sure he went to the Alamo in that movie.
• 58:55
  Matt: He thought I'm pretty sure someone told him his bike was in the basement or some shit.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_04: One second.
• 59:02
  Matt: What you gotta look up your own thing?
• 59:04
  Eric: It's either right or it's not.
• 59:07
  Eric: I had uh certain bits of media prepared in the event you got it, you know.
• 59:12
  Eric: Well, either way.
• 59:13
  Eric: Um Oh, you brought your own effects.
• 59:16
  Matt: That's great.
• 59:17
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 59:19
  Matt: You said you had bits of media prepared, and yet they sure seem not prepared to me.
• 59:46
  Matt: It is in fact the Alamo.
• 59:50
  Matt: Thank you so much, Eric.
• 59:52
  Matt: Thank you for that journey we went on.
• 59:54
  Matt: What were you doing?
• 59:56
  Matt: Prepared if I got it wrong.
• 59:57
  Matt: You were just gonna play the exact same thing.
• 59:58
  Eric: I was gonna play the exact same clip.
• 1:00:00
  Eric: Um, no, in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, he he is told by a uh a fraudulent fortune teller that his bike will be found in the Alamo.
• 1:00:09
  Eric: And that is that is the location.
• 1:00:11
  Eric: Alyssa and I were because I was sharing, I was bouncing ideas, I was like, I was like, oh, the Alamo's like, and I was including that, I was like, oh, the Paul Rubis thing, like that's a big hit.
• 1:00:18
  Eric: And and Alyssa immediately responds, like, is he well versed in Pee Wee's big adventure?
• 1:00:23
  Eric: Because she 100% is.
• 1:00:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:00:26
  Eric: Um, as like I legitimately did not know.
• 1:00:28
  Eric: It was a gamble.
• 1:00:30
  Matt: Yeah, well, okay.
• 1:00:32
  Matt: So all right, I have a point.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: I have a point.
• 1:00:36
  Matt: You got one right, which means we have forced at least you to go.
• 1:00:42
  Matt: Because otherwise you wouldn't necessarily have to go.
• 1:00:44
  Matt: We we we wouldn't need to give you gripes.
• 1:00:46
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:00:47
  Matt: But now the season total is three, three.
• 1:00:50
  Matt: Three three, baby.
• 1:00:52
  Matt: So let's see if I can get something going.
• 1:00:54
  Matt: Let's see if I can put the pressure on you, Eric.
• 1:00:58
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:00:58
  Matt: Go.
• 1:00:59
  Eric: Location number two.
• 1:01:01
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:01:01
  Eric: Review one.
• 1:01:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:01:03
  Eric: I'm frankly stunned to see any positive reviews.
• 1:01:08
  Eric: If you're a casual, non-luxury box-owning fan of sports or music, you have no idea of the bottomless contempt that this place has for you.
• 1:01:16
  Eric: Several years ago, place in question, invested millions of dollars into air quotes improvements.
• 1:01:22
  Eric: What did this amount to?
• 1:01:23
  Eric: Adding many concession stands on upper levels and thus drastically reducing areas for foot traffic, making making every intermission or halftime into a nightmare.
• 1:01:32
  Eric: Reallocating seats so once affordable areas are now off limits, adding security staff who don't seem to do anything or know where anything is, and of course, taking on several more boxes for big spenders and corporations.
• 1:01:44
  Eric: How much do they hate you?
• 1:01:46
  Eric: So much if you use Ticketmaster kiosk to buy tickets only feet away from the box office window, they charge you a convenience fee.
• 1:01:54
  Eric: Never doubt it, they hate you.
• 1:01:58
  Eric: Organization has no plans to improve anything that would actually help normal folks enjoy a night out.
• 1:02:05
  Eric: Why would they?
• 1:02:05
  Eric: I can't say I blame them, but it breaks my heart to see what it's become.
• 1:02:09
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:02:10
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:02:11
  Matt: I'll give it to you, Eric.
• 1:02:12
  Matt: That at least gives you a definite uh uh genre that you're working with.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:02:19
  Eric: This one I I am taking some artistic license with this because I don't think this was written by a Russian person, but the way it's formatted, I'm just gonna I'm gonna come to.
• 1:02:30
  Eric: Uh, this sorry, this you just tell me it was in Russia?
• 1:02:34
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 1:02:35
  Eric: The reviewer, like what they wrote, made me think that this person is Russian.
• 1:02:39
  Eric: Okay, all right.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_00: Stupid organization.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: We drive all the way from Washington to see circus, but they do not allow one kid without a vaccine, and they change it last minute right before show.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we were not able to make it.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_00: Waste weekends, waste everyone mood.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is the worst experience with this building.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do not recommend no one to visit these stupid guys.
• 1:03:09
  Eric: The stupid guys, yeah.
• 1:03:12
  Eric: I think they were saying do not recommend no one to visit this this they're saying this is stupid.
• 1:03:20
  Matt: But what is the word?
• 1:03:21
  Matt: You're gonna have to lose your accent here.
• 1:03:22
  Matt: Is it guys G-U-I-S-E or G U Y S?
• 1:03:27
  Matt: He's saying this is stupid, guys.
• 1:03:29
  Matt: This is stupid, comma, guys.
• 1:03:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:03:31
  Matt: I see.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:03:33
  Matt: Great.
• 1:03:34
  Matt: All right.
• 1:03:35
  Matt: I'm so glad you took your artistic expression out.
• 1:03:39
  Matt: At my expense.
• 1:03:40
  Matt: I'll fucking remember that.
• 1:03:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:03:42
  Matt: Little trick.
• 1:03:44
  Eric: Last review.
• 1:03:45
  Eric: Matt, this is this is currently in my like, I've read some pretty wild reviews.
• 1:03:53
  Eric: This one definitely is up there for most unhinged.
• 1:03:57
  Eric: Well, I will never go to place again.
• 1:04:01
  Eric: Any company that uses facial recognition to keep out lawyers that are just an employee of a firm that has ties to a case against them, then where will it stop?
• 1:04:10
  Eric: It reminds me of a quote I know.
• 1:04:12
  Eric: First they came for the socialists and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist.
• 1:04:16
  Eric: Then they came for trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
• 1:04:21
  Eric: Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
• 1:04:25
  Eric: Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.
• 1:04:29
  Eric: Martin Niemola, 1892 to 1984.
• 1:04:34
  Eric: He whipped that out.
• 1:04:36
  Eric: In a Google review.
• 1:04:38
  Eric: In a Google review.
• 1:04:40
  Matt: To be honest, I'm impressed.
• 1:04:42
  Matt: I'm impressed.
• 1:04:43
  Matt: I'm impressed.
• 1:04:44
  Matt: He takes a special kind of perturbed.
• 1:04:47
  Matt: First of all, I'm impressed that he used the full quote and not the just the first they came for the socialists, which is what normally or you know, normally people just say like first they came for the lawyers and I didn't whatever they're talking about and I didn't speak out.
• 1:05:00
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:05:01
  Matt: I I've gone on a journey here.
• 1:05:03
  Matt: You're okay.
• 1:05:04
  Matt: I think we're clearly talking about some sort of sports arena or multi-purpose arena.
• 1:05:09
  Matt: One that sounds like it's kind of shitty and run down, or at the very least needs some improvements.
• 1:05:16
  Matt: That brings to mind a couple of locations, but your second Roshan review mentions Washington, drove from Washington.
• 1:05:26
  Matt: That could be the state, that could be the city.
• 1:05:29
  Matt: We don't know.
• 1:05:30
  Matt: Who can say?
• 1:05:32
  Matt: Now, there is an arena nearby to us that uh is shitty and has gone through many names.
• 1:05:42
  Matt: For the I forget what it is now, it's something new.
• 1:05:45
  Matt: It used to be the Royal Farms Arena for a while, but the Baltimore Arena.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: That is on the table for me.
• 1:05:52
  Matt: But you can drive farther from Washington.
• 1:05:54
  Matt: That's the thing.
• 1:05:55
  Matt: You could drive anywhere from Washington.
• 1:05:56
  Eric: Anywhere in the continental United States.
• 1:06:00
  Matt: The boxes are questioning or questionable.
• 1:06:04
  Matt: Okay?
• 1:06:06
  Matt: Because the boxes could be referring to many different types of stadiums.
• 1:06:12
  Matt: For example, baseball stadiums have boxes.
• 1:06:16
  Matt: Other arenas have boxes, I would think, but I don't really know, to be honest with you.
• 1:06:24
  Matt: But they I'm sure, you know, I'm sure they mostly exist.
• 1:06:27
  Matt: But the box seats in in baseball are like a known thing.
• 1:06:32
  Matt: But what you're talking about in terms of DC would only be Nat's Park or Camden Yards, both of which, particularly Camden Yards, are universally regarded for how fucking nice they are.
• 1:06:47
  Matt: They're so nice.
• 1:06:49
  Matt: Particularly Camden Yards over Nat's Park.
• 1:06:52
  Matt: But Camden Yards is a gorgeous ballpark, and I can't imagine people throwing some of these complaints out.
• 1:06:59
  Matt: No.
• 1:07:00
  Matt: Then there's something a little closer to my home and my heart.
• 1:07:05
  Matt: And I think it speaks to that.
• 1:07:08
  Matt: Now, you've already done Yankee Stadium in the past.
• 1:07:12
  Matt: I have.
• 1:07:13
  Matt: So I know you're not duplicating it right now.
• 1:07:16
  Eric: No, no, I would never do you like that, my boy.
• 1:07:18
  Matt: But I think you might have been going close.
• 1:07:24
  Matt: I feel a little uh I feel a little risky about this, but I'm gonna lock it in and I'm gonna say Madison Square Garden, MSG, is what you're talking about.
• 1:07:38
  Matt: Because it's concert venue and it's a sports hall.
• 1:07:41
  Matt: Matthew, you are correct.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck yeah, baby!
• 1:07:45
  Eric: There he is.
• 1:07:46
  Eric: There he is.
• 1:07:47
  Eric: There's my boy.
• 1:07:49
  Matt: He came to play today.
• 1:07:51
  Eric: You're gonna come to the Billy Joel Expert in the room.
• 1:07:54
  Eric: Oh somebody woke up from their nap.
• 1:07:56
  Eric: Oh, Matt's awake now.
• 1:07:57
  Eric: Oh, he was sleeping.
• 1:07:58
  Eric: He's awake now.
• 1:07:59
  Eric: Two for three now.
• 1:08:00
  Eric: Two for two, baby.
• 1:08:02
  Matt: Are you sure you're not taking it easy on me, Eric?
• 1:08:04
  Matt: I'm not.
• 1:08:05
  Eric: I because about this last one.
• 1:08:07
  Eric: Not that I don't I don't think I'm taking it easy on the case.
• 1:08:09
  Matt: I'll tell you right now.
• 1:08:10
  Matt: So so right now, live score update, it's four to three me.
• 1:08:13
  Matt: But that we got three reviews coming your way, and you you know, I'm I want to make them attainable, but I'm here to play, Eric.
• 1:08:21
  Matt: I don't want to give you a layup.
• 1:08:22
  Matt: Are you giving me layups?
• 1:08:24
  Matt: No, no, my son.
• 1:08:26
  Matt: No.
• 1:08:26
  Matt: All right.
• 1:08:27
  Matt: All right.
• 1:08:28
  Matt: So I'm proud of myself with MSC.
• 1:08:30
  Eric: If you if you get this last one, I will, I will be like, I you you were impressing me so you got two, you're two for two.
• 1:08:37
  Eric: Can you take it all the way?
• 1:08:39
  Eric: Maybe.
• 1:08:40
  Eric: Location three.
• 1:08:41
  Eric: Review review one.
• 1:08:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:08:44
  Eric: Visited yesterday for afternoon tea with my grandma, and I was unaware of the strict dress code rules.
• 1:08:50
  Eric: Even though I looked smart, I was wearing jeans and ref refused entry to my booking.
• 1:08:56
  Eric: I was directed to go out and buy a new pair of trousers or skirt, leaving my 86-year-old grandma to sit on her own wondering what was happening.
• 1:09:04
  Eric: Review number two.
• 1:09:06
  Eric: Booking.
• 1:09:07
  Eric: Incredibly outdated.
• 1:09:09
  Eric: Not allowed into the bar with sports shoes, uh, proper trousers, and a smart shirt.
• 1:09:14
  Eric: Straight from the office.
• 1:09:15
  Eric: Suggested I put on some nasty shoes from the cloakroom that someone else had worn.
• 1:09:20
  Eric: These kind of places will become obsolete.
• 1:09:22
  Eric: Cloakroom.
• 1:09:23
  Eric: Madam, I have to take a deep breath for this one.
• 1:09:29
  Eric: Review three.
• 1:09:30
  Matt: You took a deep breath and then let it out.
• 1:09:33
  Eric: I know.
• 1:09:34
  Eric: Our acting teachers would be so mad at me.
• 1:09:36
  unknown: What the fuck?
• 1:09:37
  Eric: You went, I'm gonna have to take a deep breath for this one.
• 1:09:41
  Eric: That was the preamble to this breath.
• 1:09:46
  Eric: If I could give a no-star review, I would.
• 1:09:49
  Eric: My fiance and I, along with family friends from the States, came to the blank for afternoon tea on a Sunday in July.
• 1:09:55
  Eric: I had recommended the blank to everyone in the party as it had a fantastic reputation and it was their first experience of high tea.
• 1:10:02
  Eric: Where better to have afternoon tea than the blank?
• 1:10:04
  Eric: Anywhere else, apparently.
• 1:10:06
  Eric: The booking was for champagne, afternoon tea, with an addition of specialized cake that was in celebration for numerous achievements and developments, including our engagement, a university acceptance, exam results, and work achievements.
• 1:10:18
  Eric: When we were sat at the table, before we were asked, the champagne glasses were removed.
• 1:10:23
  Eric: We then mentioned that the booking was for champagne afternoon tea, but this was apparently ignored.
• 1:10:28
  Eric: We then ordered our teas and mentioned again about the champagne, which we were told we can have at the end.
• 1:10:34
  Eric: We assumed with the commissioned cake.
• 1:10:37
  Eric: So we agreed and enjoyed the food that was brought out.
• 1:10:40
  Eric: I would point out that even at this point, I didn't appreciate how our guests were being spoken to.
• 1:10:45
  Eric: I thought the staff were extremely condescending, talking to us as if we were all children.
• 1:10:50
  Eric: When we finished the sandwiches, we weren't even asked if we would like any more.
• 1:10:54
  Eric: The plates would were just removed, replaced immediately with the scones, and then the cakes.
• 1:11:00
  Eric: Clearly, they were in a rush to move us on.
• 1:11:03
  Eric: After the cakes, they then brought out the large cake that was commissioned.
• 1:11:07
  Eric: We all blew out the candles, and it too was then removed from the table, which left us confused.
• 1:11:12
  Eric: We were even more confounded when they brought it back for us in a box for us to take away.
• 1:11:18
  Eric: Not sure what they were thinking, what else would we commission a cake for if not to eat it there?
• 1:11:23
  Eric: When we said we wanted to have some at the table, things started to go downhill very quickly.
• 1:11:28
  Eric: The demeanor of the staff went from patronizing to downright rude, as we were clearly an inconvenience.
• 1:11:34
  Eric: This was made even more apparent when we asked for the champagne.
• 1:11:37
  Eric: How dare we?
• 1:11:39
  Eric: Only now did they check the booking to see if it was included, and lo and behold, it was.
• 1:11:46
  Eric: They then told us that we could have champagne on the terrace, but we would have to pay extra for that.
• 1:11:51
  Eric: We had had enough by this point and said that we would like the cake to be cut and champagne to be served at the table.
• 1:11:58
  Eric: There was nothing they could do at this point, so they did as we asked.
• 1:12:02
  Eric: They made no attempt to hide their disdain, pulling faces at one another right in front of us.
• 1:12:07
  Eric: I was so shocked that they would treat their customers like this.
• 1:12:10
  Eric: To say I was appalled and embarrassed doesn't even come close.
• 1:12:15
  Eric: Being the only nationality person at the table, I wanted to welcome our international guests to my country.
• 1:12:23
  Eric: Instead, they were made to feel unwelcome and inconvenience and as if they didn't belong.
• 1:12:29
  Eric: I would have thought an establishment like The Blank would be best in class in welcoming international clientele, but instead they were treated like this.
• 1:12:39
  Eric: I will never recommend you to anyone.
• 1:12:44
  Eric: I swear to God, if you ask me to read that again.
• 1:12:48
  Matt: Wow.
• 1:12:49
  Matt: Um, no, I won't ask you to read it again because honestly, I think all the all the useful clues were in the first two sentences.
• 1:12:57
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:12:57
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:58
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:12:58
  Matt: I think I'll be honest, Eric, I don't have a good guess off the bat.
• 1:13:02
  Matt: I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to m mull this with you.
• 1:13:05
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:13:06
  Matt: But you have given me enough to know that I think we're talking about England.
• 1:13:11
  Matt: You said international friends from the States, and after all, everything you've talked about is dedicated to tea time.
• 1:13:18
  Matt: So I'm thinking it's some sort of famous tea room type cafe or something.
• 1:13:27
  Matt: But I I'm not coming up with a name.
• 1:13:31
  Matt: And you said the blank, which rules out some names that might have like if there's a famous restaurant, I'm not sure I know it.
• 1:13:44
  Matt: I'm not sure I know the name.
• 1:13:47
  Matt: So right now I'm just thinking London something.
• 1:13:50
  Matt: Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:51
  Matt: But I'm not sure I have a good good guess.
• 1:13:54
  Eric: Can you give me the first one again?
• 1:13:57
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:58
  Eric: Visited yesterday for afternoon tea with my grandma, and I was unaware of the strict dress code rules.
• 1:14:04
  Eric: Even though I looked smart, I was wearing jeans and refused entry to my booking.
• 1:14:10
  Eric: I was directed to go out and buy a new pair of trousers or skirt, leaving my 86-year-old grandma to sit on her own wondering what was happening.
• 1:14:20
  Matt: I'm not sure I know this one, Eric.
• 1:14:22
  Matt: I'm genuinely unsure that I know.
• 1:14:26
  Matt: The.
• 1:14:27
  Matt: That's what's getting me to the and the terrace, and I don't know.
• 1:14:34
  Matt: Like, it can't be like Buckingham Palace.
• 1:14:36
  Matt: It can't be, you know, Big Ben, which I think we've already done.
• 1:14:40
  Matt: The unless it's not England, unless it's France, but it's the crazy world, whole lot of tea.
• 1:14:47
  Matt: And the dress code.
• 1:14:49
  Matt: That to me says it's a restaurant.
• 1:14:51
  Matt: That's like as a primary thing, not like the the rest because I was thinking, like, could this be something like Tower Bridge or something?
• 1:14:58
  Matt: But like, then it'd be like the restaurant at Tower Bridge.
• 1:15:02
  Matt: So like I don't think that's correct.
• 1:15:04
  Matt: And the terrorist put me off of that anyway.
• 1:15:06
  Matt: Also, I don't think that's got too high of tourist traction to have a dress code like that.
• 1:15:13
  Matt: Our various British guests and listeners are probably shouting at the at the the radios that they're listening to.
• 1:15:21
  Matt: Uh the old timey radios.
• 1:15:23
  Eric: On the old on the old ham.
• 1:15:25
  Matt: On the old ham, yes.
• 1:15:27
  Matt: When they put they put us on uh coming out of the the transistor radio.
• 1:15:31
  Matt: Um fuck.
• 1:15:35
  Matt: I don't know, Eric.
• 1:15:37
  Matt: I don't have a good guess.
• 1:15:38
  Matt: I can't think of a good like restaurant that I knows in London.
• 1:15:44
  Matt: I think I just don't know this one.
• 1:15:46
  Matt: I uh but I have to give you something.
• 1:15:49
  Matt: So I guess I'll go with Tower Bridge, but uh it's wrong.
• 1:15:54
  Matt: I know it's Tower Bridge is your guess?
• 1:15:57
  Matt: Or I mean I don't want it to be my guess.
• 1:16:01
  Matt: I'm pretty sure it's wrong.
• 1:16:03
  Matt: So and we've done Tower London, so it's not that.
• 1:16:09
  Matt: Um also it doesn't seem to fit at all, but the the the the the works.
• 1:16:19
  Matt: And maybe I'll kick myself after I hear the name, but uh a famous like restaurant like this is just simply not coming to my I'm trying to like stretch my I'm trying to think of movies.
• 1:16:31
  Matt: I'm trying to think of television programs.
• 1:16:34
  Matt: I'm really trying to pull something out of the woodwork here.
• 1:16:38
  SPEAKER_05: But nothing's coming out of that woodwork except termites.
• 1:16:42
  Matt: I don't have a good guess.
• 1:16:43
  Matt: I'm gonna I'm gonna have to give you tower bridge because I just don't.
• 1:16:46
  Matt: Okay, you're locking that in?
• 1:16:48
  Matt: I'm locking it in because I j but the true answer is I just don't know.
• 1:16:53
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:16:54
  Eric: The answer is locked in.
• 1:16:55
  Eric: Uh Matt, our friends in England are screaming at their at their respective devices right now.
• 1:17:01
  SPEAKER_03: And what they're screaming is if you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits?
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_03: Putting on the Ritz.
• 1:17:12
  Eric: Yes, the Ritz-Carlton in London.
• 1:17:16
  Eric: Oh, the Ritz.
• 1:17:19
  Matt: The Ritz Carlton Hotel.
• 1:17:23
  Matt: Yep.
• 1:17:25
  Eric: Uh okay, so it was a famous, uh famous restaurant in a hotel.
• 1:17:30
  Matt: It is a famous restaurant in a hotel.
• 1:17:32
  Matt: I would say the hotel, the Ritz-Carlton Hotel is, I think, what it is.
• 1:17:37
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:17:38
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 1:17:39
  Matt: All right.
• 1:17:40
  Matt: Uh Eric, I'll say this.
• 1:17:42
  Matt: Unlike your famous, what I'll call faux pas with the Hadron Collider, at least this was guessable.
• 1:17:51
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:52
  Eric: You you were so like you were so fucking close.
• 1:17:54
  Eric: Like, I was like, oh my God.
• 1:17:57
  Eric: As soon as you said the somebody's like, oh, he's gonna get it.
• 1:17:59
  Eric: He's gonna get it.
• 1:18:00
  Matt: Fuck me.
• 1:18:02
  Matt: That was good, Eric.
• 1:18:03
  Matt: That was good.
• 1:18:04
  Matt: But in the end, I was only able to grab two out of three.
• 1:18:10
  Matt: And honestly, that I don't feel good about the Alamo guess because I kind of feel like it was a shot in the dark a little bit, like a lucky guess.
• 1:18:18
  Matt: Like, I don't feel like I earned it.
• 1:18:19
  Matt: You know what I mean?
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Alamo.
• 1:18:21
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, but I haven't seen Pee-Wee's Big Adventure since I was fucking like 10.
• 1:18:26
  Matt: So, like, uh, probably should revisit it because I probably will take much more away from it now.
• 1:18:32
  Matt: But but that does put the pressure.
• 1:18:36
  Matt: That does put the pressure on you ever so slightly.
• 1:18:39
  Eric: I have to get at least one on the next round just to tie.
• 1:18:43
  Matt: And if we tie, which we desperately didn't want to do.
• 1:18:46
  Matt: No, we if we tie, we're gonna have to come up with some something.
• 1:18:54
  Matt: We're gonna have to come up with something.
• 1:18:56
  Matt: So uh, but entering the final round in our next episode, it is four to three.
• 1:19:04
  Matt: Me, you gotta get one to tie, you gotta get two to win.
• 1:19:10
  Matt: Uh but but you know what, Eric?
• 1:19:12
  Matt: I I will say, I'll make sure I'm fair to you.
• 1:19:16
  Matt: No response?
• 1:19:17
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:19:17
  Matt: No, no, no, thank you.
• 1:19:18
  Eric: I I appreciate your I appreciate your man of honor.
• 1:19:21
  Matt: God damn right I am.
• 1:19:22
  Eric: Now see you on the field.
• 1:19:24
  Matt: You will indeed.
• 1:19:24
  Matt: And so uh with that, Eric, that'll have to be the cliffhanger until the next episode of You Didn't Ask For This, because this one is done.
• 1:19:34
  Matt: Matt, give them the business.
• 1:19:37
  Matt: You can submit to us your questions, your local legends, your concerns, your entries for the mascot competition at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com all spelled out, or on social media at you didn't ask pod.
• 1:19:53
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, YouTube, etcetera, etcetera.
• 1:20:01
  Matt: Submit those things to us.
• 1:20:02
  Matt: We do need your questions, of course, first and foremost.
• 1:20:07
  Matt: Uh I think I think that's the business.
• 1:20:09
  Matt: Do we have anything else to uh to promote at the time?
• 1:20:12
  Eric: Or I think Matt, I I want to promote you having a great day.
• 1:20:17
  Eric: Thank you, Eric.
• 1:20:19
  Eric: You've earned it.
• 1:20:19
  Eric: I want to promote your day.
• 1:20:22
  Matt: Oh, that's it.
• 1:20:24
  Matt: Yeah, we said the same thing.
• 1:20:25
  Matt: We said the same thing.
• 1:20:26
  Matt: Ish.
• 1:20:27
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:20:28
  Matt: Ish.
• 1:20:28
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:20:29
  Matt: Ish.
• 1:20:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:20:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:20:31
  Matt: So for all of us here, you didn't ask for this.
• 1:20:34
  Matt: My name is Matt Jay.
• 1:20:36
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 1:20:38
  Matt: And listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:20:40
  Eric: But sir, Sir Bud of Air.
• 1:20:44
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:20:44
  Eric: You have been weighed.
• 1:20:46
  Eric: You have been measured.
• 1:20:48
  SPEAKER_08: And you have been found to be such a good boy.
• 1:20:52
  SPEAKER_08: Who you such boy.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_08: Who knocked that night off of yours?
• 1:20:57
  SPEAKER_08: Who knocked that night off of yours?
• 1:20:59
  SPEAKER_08: You broke a lance in his collarbone.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_08: He's gonna die.
• 1:21:02
  Eric: We don't have medicine.