Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Narcissists love bomb everyone in a different way

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Narcissists love bomb everyone in a different way · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how every love bombing
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  phase is going to be different, how narcissists don't do the
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  same things to love bomb every single person.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code Back.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back, welcome
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  back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Y'all hope y'all having a beautifully fantastic evening
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  day, whatever time you whatever time you watching this, y'all.
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  I appreciate y'all being here with me to to ride with me and
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  to grind with me on this journey and whatnot.
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  But yes, not every narcissist is going to love bomb people the
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  exact same way. Like the same, because it's kind
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  of human nature. It's not just narcissist nature.
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  They could be human nature as well.
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  Because people don't like the same things, right?
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  You're a human being. You have your own likes and
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  dislikes. You have the things that you
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  like that make you happy, just like I have the things that I
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  like that make me happy that the next person has the things that
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  they like to make them happy. Like, everybody has different
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  likes and dislikes, you know? Could people have similar
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  interests? Absolutely.
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  Yes. That could be the truth right
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  there. There are a lot of people out
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  there who could have similar interests and whatnot as well as
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  well. So if you're dealing with a
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  toxic narcissistic person, this is how it goes.
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  Like if I'm love bombing you and you like roses and flowers and
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  iPads, I'm going to get you roses and flowers and iPad.
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  I'm going to shower you in them. I'm going to get, I'm going to
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  put it, I'm going to give you an iPad with a rose as a
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  screensaver. You know what I mean?
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  I'm going to, I'm going to do that type of stuff for you,
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  like, because that type of stuff works.
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  But what if me and you break up? What if I discard you?
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  What if we go through the whole cycle of narcissistic abuse,
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  right? And I discard you and then I got
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  a new supply. The new supply is allergic to
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  roses. So how the hell I'm going to
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  love bomb them with the same thing that worked on you?
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  It's not going to happen. They don't like iPads.
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  They don't like any type of Apple product.
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  They're they're they like they like Samsung Galaxy stuff.
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  They want a Galaxy Note 10. You know what I'm saying?
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  That's the type of stuff that you have to deal with like so so
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  for you, if you are watching a narcissist, right when they when
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  y'all break up, y'all, if y'all break up, whatever happens,
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  Y'all, the discard phase happens and you are watching them on
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  social media. You're watching them treat the
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  next person better than they treated you right.
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  You're watching all of this stuff transpire.
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  You're watching all of this stuff happen right And you
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  noticed them doing something. They they're like me.
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  They changed so much like why they doing something?
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  They didn't do that for me. It didn't bring my I worked on
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  you did what they're doing for the next person might have
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  worked on a person before you. It might not work.
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  Every love bombing phase is going to be different.
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  There's going to be different time lengths, different effort.
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  You mean sometimes it's going to be very low effort, low effort
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  love bombing, which probably isn't love bombing at all.
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  You know, very low effort, very low, low energy, very low
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  contact love bombing. Like they don't put any work in
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  to love bombing. And that's going to make certain
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  certain people feel bad like, well, Lee, I feel horrible
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  because of this right here. I feel terrible because this
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  went down. I don't feel, I feel worth less
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  than ever before because this it could because how this went
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  down, because how this transpired.
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  I don't like this feeling, Lee. This feeling sucks.
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  I hate this feeling and whatnot. This happens to so many people.
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  Like they're doing everything for somebody else that they
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  never did for me. And I I want to cry.
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  And then, you know, you can cry. It's OK.
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  You're not like out. If your feelings are absolutely
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  honestly hurt, which they probably are, It's a valid
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  response to be angry, to be bitter, to cry.
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  Those are valid responses. Oh, my ex is so bitter.
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  Yes, I am you, you treating me horribly.
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  Now you treated somebody else nice.
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  Yes, I'm going to be bitter for a little while.
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  How so many people have to like people.
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  The society is wow, society has to successfully convinced so
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  many people that being bitter is not a normal human, normal human
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  response to being mistreated. You see what I'm saying?
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  It'd be it'd be weirder if you were not bitter sometimes, y'all
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  like, yeah, your feelings got hurt, you got treated badly.
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  They're doing more for somebody else than they did for you.
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  It's making you feel a certain type of way.
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  That's understandable. Now, I'm not saying go out and
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  do some of the heinous, go out and be angry and hurt somebody.
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  I'm not leading to tell you to do that.
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  Now, Lisa being bitter. Yeah, Lisa being bitter is OK.
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  I'm going to be bitter and go ruin their lives.
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  I'm not saying do that, I'm just saying you can be bitter and
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  just, you know, you can. Even your feelings can be hurt.
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  That's understandable. Absolutely, it makes sense,
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  y'all? It absolutely makes sense that
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  your feelings are hurt, that you're a little sad.
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  That's understandable. I promise you it is.
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  So if you're dealing with toxic, narcissistic people, this is
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  going to be part of it right here, y'all?
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  Part of the struggle, part of it, part of getting past it is
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  knowing that love vomit is going to be different for every single
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  person. It's going to last a different
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  way. People in my comment section are
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  like Lee, how long were they going to be?
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  How long was the love bombing face going to last for somebody
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  else? How long did it last for you?
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  Well, couple months. It might last a couple weeks for
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  them. The other, the other person
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  might see what they the other person might see what they're
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  doing, what they're experiencing, what they're going
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  through. The other person might see it
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  faster. The love on me face might might
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  go by as quick as hell. You see what I'm saying?
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  The love on me face might end very quickly like or it might
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  last longer. You just do not know, but
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  looking at it is going to hurt your feelings.
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  Looking at it is going to SAP you.
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  Looking at it, it's going to make you sad as hell.
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  Let's keep it hot and ready. What we say over here, keep it
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  hot and ready like a Little Caesar's pizza, right?
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  Keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar pizza.
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  That's all we do. We keep it hot and ready.
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  So I'm telling y'all right now, if you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person, this is going to be kind of the space
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  that you the space that you fall into right here.
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  They're going to do whatever it takes for themselves to feel
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  good about themselves, right? And there's that doesn't mean
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  there's something wrong with you.
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  Like the narcissistic person, they want themselves to feel
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  better about themselves. They want themselves to feel
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  good. They want themselves to feel
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  great and amazing. They want themselves to they
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  want you to watch because they want to hurt your feelings,
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  right? They're hoping that you look.
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  They are hoping that you're watching.
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  They live their lives on social media like you are watching
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  them. They live their lives on social
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  media like you are it like like you are narcissistic robot
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  rebooting, talking too damn fast.
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  Slow down. Come on.
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  No, no, no. OK, this how it goes, but this
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  is part of the struggle, y'all. I promise you it's
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  understandable. Your feelings, your your, your
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  feelings being hurt are absolutely valid.
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  But like watching them do, watching them treat somebody
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  else good is going to hurt your feelings even more.
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  I know. It's like Lee, I feel like I'm
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  addicted to it. You got to break that damn
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  addiction. You got to, you got to, you got
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  to kick. You got to kick the habit.
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  You got to go. You got to kick, look, you got
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  to kick the habit. Because if you don't kick the
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  habit, I promise you, you mean I promise you it's going to suck.
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  It's going to suck so bad. I promise you it is.
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  You know what I mean? I promise you the more the more
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  your feelings are hurt and the more you keep looking at that
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  stuff, you're going paint shopping.
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  I know I talk about I talk about paint shopping before I talk
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  about paint shopping all the time Donor.
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  I talk about paint shopping all the time on this channel.
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  Paint shopping. When you go and look at you go,
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  you go looking for things that are going to hurt you.
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  You mean do you go looking for things that are going to hurt
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  your feelings? You go looking for things that
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  are going to make you feel a certain type of way.
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  You go looking for stuff that is going to make the break you down
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  like nothing on their page, nothing on their new part,
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  nothing on the new supplies page is going to make you feel good.
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  But Lee, what if they break up? I would feel good.
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  Then that's not always going to be true.
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  Because if you think you, if you consider yourself an empath,
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  right? Let's say you consider yourself
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  an empath and you're thinking that like, OK, Lee, I'm going
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  to, you think right here, OK, I'm an empath and you're looking
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  at that. You're looking on their social
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  media, right? And guess what happens?
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  You look on their social media and you find out that they broke
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  up, right? They've broken up and they're
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  posting all kinds of sad stuff now about their heart being
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  broken. And guess what happens?
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  Initially, you thought you were going to feel good seeing that
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  they broke up, right? You thought you were going to
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  feel amazing. You thought, you thought you had
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  some vindication because their feelings are hurt.
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  But guess what? Guess what kicks in?
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  Your empathy. Your empathy kicks in and makes
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  you feel bad for your abusive ex, right?
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  And when you feel bad for your abusive ex, now you start
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  feeling bad and you start carrying again and you reach out
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  to them and hope you're OK. And so who did you broke up so
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  that you broke up? And guess what happens?
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  You, you Hoover yourself back into the relationship.
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  And guess what happens when you guess what happens when you
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  Hoover yourself? You lose when you Hoover
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  yourself, you lose when you suck yourself back into this
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  relationship. You lose because now if whatever
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  they done to you, even if they left you for this new person, in
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  their minds you're OK with it because why wouldn't?
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  If you're not OK with it, why in the hell are you reaching out to
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  me? If you're not OK with what I
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  have done or what how things have transpired, then why are we
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  talking? You see what I'm saying?
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  Why are we? Why are we engaged with each
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  other? Why did you reach out to me?
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  I just reached out to you because I saw you were hurting.
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  Well, it must mean you still care.
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  Don't let your feelings get in the way of your healing.
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  I notice how stupid. Don't let your feelings get in
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  the way of your healings. Your feelings and your healings.
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  This is the mindset. This is the mentality.
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  There's so many people are going to face when you're dealing with
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  abusive people. When you're dealing with
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  narcissistic, abusive, toxic ass people, this is what you're
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  going to face, right? Lil Obama is going to look
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  different for everybody. Not every the same thing that
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  worked on you might not work on somebody else.
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  Like you said. Yeah, because they're doing like
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  they go. They went all out for this new
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  person. They maybe they didn't have to
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  go all out for you. You know what I'm saying?
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  It doesn't mean that you're worth less.
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  It just mean it might not have worked on you.
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  They might not have been like, like I said, especially if they
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  if they lied to the new supply and a new supply knew about you.
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  Sometimes they have to go harder so that they have to go harder.
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  Especially if if their relationship started with a
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  rocky foundation, they might have to go extra hard on the
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  love bombing phase. Like the new supply had no idea
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  that you existed. You found out that they existed.
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  You reached out to them, told them, you and your you and your
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  partner, your narcissistic partner.
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  Y'all break up. The narcissist then ends up with
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  the new supply and he's the narcissist is now lying to the
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  new supply. It has to go over the top with
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  the love bombing to get them to get past this first initial
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  bump. You see what I'm saying?
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  So just because they do more for somebody else doesn't mean that
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  they care more about somebody else.
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  It just sometimes means you have to work harder because the
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  situation has transpired and and and regressed into what it is
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  right now. So like I tell everybody before
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  it is absolutely healing season. Right now it's healing season.
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  You got to go out there and you got to heal.
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  You got to continue to move forward.
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  You got to continue to grow. You got to continue to move and
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  do everything you did you want to do to make yourself happy.
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  Y'all. Anyway, y'all think I'll tune
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  into another episode? Look live in person workshop
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• 11:40
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• 11:44
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  couple weeks. Limited seating while we'll see
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  And we're going to get up. We're going to have fun, we're
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  going to heal together and all that other good stuff.
• 11:54
  Mental illness is our peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:57
  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you.
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  Peace.