Latest / The Bull Brotherhood / SPH Book 7 - #2 of 12_Be Intelligently Authentic

Transcript

SPH Book 7 - #2 of 12_Be Intelligently Authentic · The Bull Brotherhood

0:00
It's all about being authentic. I went through
0:01
a journey of Puerto Rican -ness authenticity,
0:04
Black authenticity, sexuality. You know, how
0:07
much of my femininity am I going to manage? Because
0:11
every human being has feminine and masculine
0:15
traits, estrogen and testosterone, male and females,
0:18
just levels. So when I found my authentic self,
0:23
you are now a radiant, shining light. Let's bring
0:27
this home. People can smell you and see you coming
0:32
around like the women love you their pussies
0:34
Get wet for authentic because everybody knows
0:37
how fucking hard it is This podcast contains
0:41
explicit adult content mature themes and candid
0:46
conversations about sex dominance power exchange
0:50
and ethical non -monogamy It is intended for
0:54
audiences 18 and over only listener discretion
0:58
is advised The views expressed by our guests
1:02
are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect
1:05
the views or values of the hosts, producers,
1:09
or affiliated brands. The Bull Brotherhood podcast
1:12
is for educational, entertainment, and empowerment
1:16
purposes only. Nothing in this podcast should
1:19
be interpreted as legal advice, medical guidance,
1:23
or psychological counseling. We speak from experience,
1:27
not credentials. Always practice consent, respect
1:31
the boundaries of others, and follow local laws.
1:35
If you're not comfortable with Frank talk about
1:37
sex, kink, dominance, or emotional power, this
1:41
probably isn't the show for you. But if you're
1:43
ready to step into your masculine edge and embrace
1:47
a lifestyle that demands mastery, welcome to
1:50
the Brotherhood. Welcome to the Bull Brotherhood
1:55
podcast, where we talk power, pleasure. and the
1:59
art of dominance and ethical non -monogamy. This
2:02
is not your average lifestyle podcast. This is
2:05
for men who lead, men who master, and men who
2:08
leave a lasting impression. If you're here, you're
2:12
not just curious. You're ready to elevate. So
2:15
to all the bulls, hot wives, stags, and open
2:18
-minded explorers, we see you. Let's go. What's
2:36
good, what's good, what's good, y 'all? It's
2:38
me, Socrates. Back with another episode of Socrates's
2:45
philosophies and hypotheses. I'm really excited
2:51
about this episode. We got my boy Chris coming
2:55
back to interview me. This one is, we're gonna
3:01
be another episode on the 12 principles. My guarantee
3:05
to you is you get any woman you authentically
3:07
want with these principles and keep her happy.
3:12
Know that's a crazy crazy claim, but I'm gonna
3:14
labor on these episodes to prove it and also
3:18
hopefully work it on some other projects so You
3:23
know if you haven't heard if you haven't listened
3:25
to the episode on going over the basics or the
3:28
all the 12 principles I highly recommend you
3:31
go back to do that because they will make more
3:33
sense Instead of just hearing one principle I
3:38
always refer to other ones because they are interlinked
3:41
And they are sequential, meaning you have to
3:44
get the first one down before you get the second
3:45
one down. I'll explain that before you get the
3:48
third one down, those kind of things. So, today
3:51
the one we're talking about is principle number
3:53
two of the 12. Choose intelligent authenticity.
3:59
Now usually me and my boy Chris, we just get
4:03
right to it, but I want to tell a little story
4:05
about this one. The first two are very important
4:08
to me for two reasons. The first one, choose
4:12
a victorious mindset over a victimhood mindset.
4:17
I did not understand the importance of that in
4:20
my life until recently. This is not something
4:24
that I've understood for a long time. For example,
4:28
like women speak the language of heart and connection.
4:35
I've known that for a very long time. As a matter
4:36
of fact, the first time I read the book, Men
4:39
Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, that taught
4:41
me that. So that was like 20 years ago. understanding
4:45
the victorious mindset has been around for a
4:47
long time for me, because I used to go to a lot
4:48
of seminars and shit. But I didn't understand
4:50
how important it was to have that lens of life
4:54
every single day. Everything you go into, you're
4:56
saying to yourself, how can I be victorious?
4:59
Doesn't mean you're not gonna lose. Sometimes
5:00
you get your ass kicked and take several steps
5:02
back. But that mindset alone makes everything
5:05
a lot better. So, the one that I struggle with
5:10
the most is authenticity. Straight up. There
5:16
was times in my life. I was a fake ass nigga
5:18
all the way around all the way around people
5:20
all the way around I just want to give a little
5:23
story on why this is not excusing it You know
5:26
and if everybody's like oh nigga you I knew you
5:28
was fake about X Y and D actually hit me up on
5:31
telegram at Socrates LS and Tell me the story
5:35
and I'll be real with you cuz some stuff the
5:37
way I was raised believing I was real so You
5:41
know I was I struggled Thinking I was raised
5:45
differently or uniquely until a boy of mine that
5:47
grew up in LA and and around black culture and
5:50
all that kind of stuff I do you unique unique
5:52
like you're a different guy. So I was born in
5:55
the south to black parents Even the story behind
6:00
that my grandmother's story who my grandmother
6:02
is the Puerto Rican grandmother My dad our lineage
6:07
My parents all of that. But anyway, my dad went
6:11
to Vietnam came back kind of fucked up went to
6:13
jail I moved from Tennessee, my mom moved from
6:16
Tennessee with a pimp named Joe Jefferson, believe
6:19
it or not. And she was with him for a few years
6:23
until she met my stepfather who raised me. He
6:25
was a major drug dealer in my town. My mom, you
6:31
know, there's a song, old school songs. Papa
6:34
was a rolling stone. Boom, boom, boom. Wherever
6:39
he laid his hat was his home. All he left us
6:46
was alone. Don't fucking judge my singing. My
6:49
point is that was my mom. So anytime, huh? Oh,
6:53
thank you sir. Anytime my mom was with a dude,
6:58
if he had money, everything's balling house with
6:59
her. When she was struggling, I would be with
7:02
family and friends. And I have a very eclectic
7:04
and different and widespread type of family and
7:07
friends. Country black folks, super highly educated
7:10
black folks. ghetto black folks, gangsta thug
7:13
black folks, Latinos, Puerto Ricans, white folks
7:16
in my family. I lived in different neighborhoods.
7:20
I personally probably lived in 25, 30 different
7:23
houses with aunts. One minute I'm on a farm with
7:29
my uncles in Alabama and the next minute I'm
7:31
sleeping under the bed in Inglewood with my aunt.
7:35
I lived in a town in California that had a Confederate
7:40
rebel. as their mascot. And there was three,
7:45
I went there one year and there was three race
7:47
wars. I was in, like any movie where there's
7:51
like a riot, an old school riot where people
7:53
hitting each other with chains and whips and
7:55
punches, I was in that, three times. Speak Spanish,
8:01
part Latino, that's a mystery story I could tell
8:04
you. My point is I grew up confused as fuck.
8:10
The good news is I learned people are people
8:12
through that. I was around white people, and
8:16
we were all just barefooted, riding on horses
8:20
and dirt bikes, listening to Led Zeppelin and
8:23
freaking Megadeth, just being boys. They did
8:27
not make any difference between my race. I learned
8:30
how to be country with them, I mean them white
8:32
folks. I learned how to be redneck country with
8:36
them, and they're good people. And I've been
8:39
around some highly educated black folks. That
8:43
they're high society in every way the the bad
8:47
news is I was I got locked into some of it Like
8:50
I'm a little bit Puerto Rican, but I got locked
8:53
in for a minute Like I got locked in where it
8:56
was like I started noticing when people swore
8:59
up and down There was no African American in
9:01
me and I was like, no, you don't understand.
9:03
I'm chat black motherfucker I'm all the way black
9:05
a little bit of cinnamon spice don't get it twisted
9:10
because I speak the language fool and they can
9:11
dance salsa and You know bachata merengue and
9:14
all that kind of don't get it twisted, but I
9:16
always have to correct some racist ass Latinos
9:18
You know if you've heard anything that's going
9:21
on politically I can confirm That racism is everywhere
9:24
and colorism is everywhere and especially in
9:26
the Latino community So and by the time I was
9:30
21 I was exposed to four or five different cultures
9:32
and three or four different kinds of black folks
9:34
like generally like gangster brothers, you can't
9:39
trust you're walling around killers and My aunt
9:44
is the most dedicated church lady you ever meet,
9:49
you know. And I have people that were high up
9:51
in executive positions and people that are, you
9:55
know, to this day are the largest drug bucks
9:59
in their town. That colored me now. But back
10:03
then for a long time, I was never fake as far
10:06
as like I was somebody that wasn't. I could just
10:08
choose. I could be a country brother. And you
10:10
don't know anything that I grew up in hood. I
10:13
could be a hood thang. Thug, gangster ass nigga,
10:16
you have no idea. I listen to rock and roll and
10:20
heavy metal and country and all that kind of
10:22
stuff. Run around barefooted, on horseback, doing
10:28
redneck shit. Or I'm nerdy as fuck, right? And
10:32
that caused a lot of problems for me. So what
10:34
I chose to do was I tackled it. And the first
10:36
thing I did is I went to this place called Landmark
10:38
Education and I highly recommend it to anybody.
10:41
They're quirky, they're crazy, they're super
10:42
liberal, but they teach you about authenticity
10:45
and the power of it. Another one that came from
10:47
the same school of thought was mastery in transformation
10:50
training. There are people like Anthony Robbins,
10:56
I walked on fire. I went through 20 years of
11:00
learning how to be authentic. And the last thing,
11:01
I tell this on a lot of podcasts, I found my
11:04
squad, I found my brothers, and they demanded
11:09
authenticity from me. They changed my life. So
11:15
let's talk about, give me, A couple more minutes,
11:20
Chris, and we'll let you jump in. Let's talk
11:22
about why people are inauthentic, in my opinion.
11:24
And I think it's only one reason. And we're talking
11:27
about some science. So, whether you believe in
11:30
the Bible or evolution, we know that the majority
11:34
of our time we've been as an agricultural -age
11:38
people. That we gathered around, we've hunted
11:41
gatherers for a while, and then we went around
11:43
the farm in small communities. We also know that
11:47
the brain cannot manage more than 159 people
11:53
on average in their head. So back in the, if
11:59
you want to go the scientific route, because
12:01
I believe in both, but back in the hunter -gatherer
12:06
age, if you were kicked out of the group, that
12:09
literally meant death. Nobody's going to protect
12:11
you from the sabre tigers, nobody's going to
12:14
help. give you reserves when you didn't come
12:17
back with a good hunt or your wife didn't gather
12:21
very well or sick, you died. And that has been
12:26
such in our nervous system and a part of our
12:29
DNA that being rejected and being pushed out
12:35
of a community feels like death. Don't feel bad
12:41
if you are inauthentic. It is a coping mechanism.
12:47
It is how you're trying to survive. And nobody,
12:51
no teachers, no religion that I know of, no school
12:56
that I know, public school that I know of, teaches
13:00
like a mastery class, authenticity. I know Anthony
13:06
Robbins does, I know MITT does, I know Landmark
13:10
Education does, but it is hard. Now, we all expect
13:14
it. We all say to people, oh, if you just be
13:17
yourself, just be yourself. And the minute you
13:20
are, we all... start feeling rejected, start
13:23
saying, see, I knew I shouldn't have, and you
13:24
go back to being fake. So here's what I learned.
13:31
If you use a principle called perspective, which
13:35
means seeing things through other people's eyes,
13:37
but if you start realizing that we all have a
13:40
SWAT, we all have strengths, weaknesses, opportunities,
13:43
and threats, we all do, and you start realizing
13:48
that because of those things, I'm gonna put them
13:52
together. In our community, And A, in your mind,
13:55
you can only manage 150 people in your mind.
13:57
You might have a Rolodex in your phone, you might
13:59
have a list in your phone of hundreds of thousands
14:01
of people, but you only process 159 people in
14:03
your head. Your managers, if you have a business
14:07
with a thousand employees, it's your upper management.
14:09
It's your uncles, your cousins, your best friends,
14:12
the guys that really matter to you. And you understand
14:16
that there are hierarchical structure, right?
14:18
There are people that are very popular, they're
14:20
getting all the women, they're getting all the
14:21
money, they're getting all the men, they're getting
14:23
all the fame, whatever. and there are people
14:25
at the bottom of the totem pole. But you need
14:28
to understand this. There are hundreds of thousands
14:32
of different hierarchies. So for example, you
14:37
are nerdy as fuck, you already know there's so
14:39
many places to go play D &D, go be nerdy on Facebook,
14:42
go do this, go do that. You're kinky as fuck,
14:44
there's already a place for you to go get tied
14:46
up on a fucking St. Andrew's cross upside down
14:49
and do butt play and walk out of there feeling
14:51
relieved because somebody cut you up like a motherfucker.
14:56
Or... I don't support anything illegal. I don't
14:59
support any child abuse things. None of that
15:02
needs to be happening. But you have a kink that's
15:05
sane and legal and does not hurt other people
15:09
unless they want to be hurt. There is a community
15:12
for you now online. There's freaking from anything
15:16
from compounds to groups you can join. And this
15:20
day and age, there's unless you're a pedophile,
15:23
child molester, you know, rapist. Con artists,
15:29
well, there's groups for them. But there's groups
15:31
for all those other ones. I'm saying fuck you
15:33
and don't go to them, and if I know you, I'm
15:35
gonna see something, I'm gonna say something.
15:37
But it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't
15:40
matter how quirky you are, it doesn't matter
15:41
how stupid you look, it doesn't matter how undesirable
15:44
you think you are, there is a community out there
15:47
online in a town, in your town probably, from
15:51
FetLife to people who believe they're animals.
15:55
to people who are amputees and still want to
15:57
have sex or, you know, herpes people who want
15:59
to have sex with each other or gay or trans,
16:02
it doesn't matter. And this day and age, they're
16:06
also hating on you. If you are a righteous Christian
16:11
conservative man trying to do the right thing,
16:13
somebody fucking hates you. If you're a devil
16:15
worshiper, somebody hates you. If you're trying
16:17
to help conservative men feel proud of being
16:21
white, somebody hates you. If you're trying to
16:24
be a black man proud of yourself, somebody hates
16:25
you. If you just want to go around and talk about
16:28
the love of Jesus, somebody hates you. If you're
16:31
black, they hate you. If you're white, they hate
16:33
you. It doesn't fucking matter. They hate you.
16:35
So you might as well be your authentic self.
16:38
Here's another thing, and then we'll move on.
16:41
Scientifically, they can prove that you have
16:43
vibrations. It only goes about three inches out,
16:47
but your brain is a magnetic field. They have
16:50
measured those. It's not like the secret. It
16:53
goes out to the universe, but there's ways it
16:55
spreads. We can talk about that later. But you
16:57
don't need to believe in Woosaw or manifestation
17:01
or law of attraction to understand this. You
17:04
put a vibe out. It could be measured by EEGs
17:07
and other machines that are not even touching
17:09
your body. They measured that. And then they
17:13
measured people in different states, angry, happy,
17:16
love, selflessness, selfishness, horny, rage.
17:23
They found the most positive and powerful. vibration
17:26
there is is authenticity. Now I even love authenticity.
17:33
And when you're an authentic self, I'm gonna
17:34
tell you right now that the ladies love you.
17:39
Ladies love you. You on your coo -jay. So I said,
17:46
choose intelligent authenticity. Chris, intelligent
17:51
authenticity means calibrate yourself to say
17:54
when you do everything else. People get tripping
17:56
when we're out in society. But when you're on
17:59
your grandma, I know there's some fools out there
18:04
to be talking to your grandma fucking crazy.
18:05
I ain't talking about you. There's exceptions
18:07
to every rule. But most of us act right in front
18:10
of our fucking grandma. True. Question. How do
18:16
you feel about code switching? I love code switching.
18:20
Code switching is intelligent authenticity. Here's
18:22
why. We all speak different languages. Just because
18:27
you speak English doesn't mean that it's not
18:29
a language. It's vernacular to your language.
18:31
There's meanings to your language. For example,
18:33
I speak Spanish. For Mexicans, the word bicho
18:37
means insect. There is insect, though, but bicho
18:40
is insect. For other cultures, in Caribbean culture,
18:45
bicho is a bad word. But to Salvadorians, bicho
18:49
means child. Same word, same language, three
18:53
different meanings in three different countries
18:54
or cultures, right? So certain meanings, for
18:58
example, fag in Britain maybe 10 years ago, I
19:02
don't know if it's still, was a cigarette. Here
19:05
it's a bad word for the LGBTQ community or gay
19:08
men. So when you understand that people speak
19:16
different languages, there's different vernaculars,
19:18
you calibrate yourself for your boss. And you
19:22
might be in a highly technical field where almost
19:24
every damn word is foreign. I know what every
19:30
word in golf means. I know what a birdie is,
19:33
a dang small bird in the sky, but I don't know
19:36
what it means to golf, right? I don't know what
19:39
anything but a green is, but they have their
19:43
own words, and non -golfer's here, and they're
19:46
like, that's gibberish to me, right? Well, it's
19:49
the same thing. It's the same thing. You calibrate
19:54
yourself for the moment. When I am in a lifestyle
19:57
situation, I'm Socrates. My aunt who's a devoted
20:02
Christian woman, conservatist, dinner motherfucker,
20:07
never hear about Socrates from my mouth, because
20:10
I'm scared of her. No, she old and about to die.
20:13
I don't care about that. I love my DT and she
20:15
don't want to hear nothing about that. Right?
20:18
So code switching is great because we're as black
20:22
people are trying to get where they are. We have
20:25
to speak their language so they can understand
20:27
us, not the other way around. I like how you
20:30
brought up how you just don't bring up certain
20:33
parts to your grandma, because I do agree. Certain
20:36
family members, they don't need to know everything
20:40
about my life. There's certain parts, I'm just
20:42
okay. If they find out, they find out, but it's
20:45
not going to be through my mouth. Right. But
20:47
not to judge people who do it, but just the environment
20:51
I grew up in, I feel like just that's very...
20:55
We don't do that. Exactly. That's okay. Look,
20:59
I learned this from different cultures. For example,
21:02
the Peruvian culture. I used to be married to
21:04
a Peruvian girl. I've been in four marriages,
21:06
y 'all, and fucked up. All this is from failure.
21:10
I went to Peru. These people are the happiest
21:14
motherfuckers I've ever met. They got a fucking
21:16
holiday for every week of the month in that motherfucker.
21:19
They love life. And my... ex -wife was a really,
21:25
she was the representative, if anybody speaks
21:27
Spanish, there's a show called Al Fondo y sitio.
21:30
It's a Peruvian show, like a Spanish novella,
21:35
about uppity, think they're European, white people
21:38
moved into a neighborhood, gentrified it, and
21:41
the last fucking house, the refuse of the darkies,
21:45
of the indigenous people, of the Peruvian indigenous
21:49
people, and how these two people interact. And
21:55
when I went to the poor side, I tell you, healthy
22:00
people, they take one, they take a crate of beer,
22:03
one glass, and I was in a room of maybe 25 people,
22:07
teenagers, old people, young people. One, you
22:10
walk in that room, you spend a half an hour kissing
22:14
every single person on the mouth, I mean, on
22:19
the cheeks to say hello. And if you don't, it's
22:22
offensive. germaphobes would die because then
22:28
when everybody's cool and they get some food
22:30
and it's the end of the night or they're watching
22:32
soccer and they team one or whatever, they take
22:34
one glass and a crate of beers that used to,
22:40
you know, 40 ounce, it looked like a 40 ounce,
22:43
and everybody drinks beer from that one glass.
22:45
They pass it around to 25 people except for children.
22:49
Germaphobes would die. That's their culture and
22:52
they love it. People in here would fall out.
22:55
They'd call the CDC on motherfuckers. Right?
22:59
So it's like everything has different meaning
23:03
depending on it. So it's like, I present my Socrates,
23:07
which is what? I tone down the politics. I love
23:09
politics. I love it. I just tone the volume down
23:13
on it. Let a motherfucker come out of me out
23:15
the blue and say, what do you think about the
23:16
MAGA party versus woke? And I'd be like, they're
23:19
both the same. And we can talk about that, in
23:21
my opinion. I was a minister for years. You wanna
23:26
talk about religion? Shit, we'll sit down, chop
23:28
it up. I know the Bible back and forth. I know
23:32
a little bit about the Koran, a little bit about
23:34
the Bhagavad -vita, a little bit about the Book
23:39
of Mormon, all that. Let's chop it up, but not
23:41
at a lifestyle club. No, we ain't doing that,
23:43
not at a lifestyle event. Why? Because I'm ashamed
23:46
of it, I'm scared what you think, my opinion.
23:49
Anybody who knows me, shit. No, because I'm calibrating
23:53
myself for the moment. That's what I be your
23:56
authentic self and if it pisses a few people
23:58
off Okay, if you were just being your real self
24:02
in an appropriate moment, it's gonna have to
24:05
happen You're gonna find out friends. You don't
24:07
you went through your authentic self. You'll
24:09
find out who your real friends are You'll find
24:11
out who your real blood family is and who your
24:13
real family is But be your authentic self for
24:17
the moment That's what intelligent authenticity
24:19
is first find yourself know yourself and be your
24:22
authentic self no matter who you are You have
24:24
to obey the laws of the land you have to have
24:26
common sense But if you're a geek be a geek if
24:31
you're gay be gay If you're a cuck that is secretly
24:35
gay, and you just love sucking bulls dicks be
24:39
that A lot of people get criticized because of
24:45
their inauthenticity and everybody criticizing
24:48
them is right. And some people need to hear the
24:51
lecture, but don't feel bad about yourself. That
24:55
is a coping mechanism that every human being
24:57
on this fucking planet does. And it is one of
25:00
the hardest things to do to learn how to be your
25:03
authentic self, especially the more you're in
25:06
your community. Because it feels like death being
25:09
kicked out. How you deal with the loneliness
25:14
that comes with that? Oh, like I said, joining
25:16
groups. Once you know yourself, man, look how
25:20
many black nerds are out there. I love it. I
25:22
didn't know that. My best friend is in anime.
25:26
Well, so I say this in the sense of, you know,
25:29
like when you're finding that group, it's kind
25:31
of like a journey. It's not like - So like in
25:34
the beginning? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that beginning
25:37
part when you're just like, all right, maybe
25:39
it's time for me to separate myself from those.
25:42
who don't align with how authentic I am, but
25:45
that journey of me finding that group that I
25:48
am. You start losing all those people, now you're
25:49
alone. Yeah, exactly. You don't have people to
25:51
talk to. Yeah, do you feel like there was a moment
25:54
that kept you like that? Oh, no, it was a moment.
25:55
It was a minute. I'm glad you... See, that's
25:57
why I love you, because you bring up questions
25:58
I wouldn't have thought of. I was thinking about
26:04
me and my old boy that used to... Man, we used
26:07
to be wizards at approaching women and reading
26:09
books and mastering the craft. I'll never forget
26:12
one day. I used to live with him, and this is
26:13
how broke we are. He lived with his mama. He
26:16
was like in his 30s living with his mama. In
26:19
a trailer park, in a double -wide, and I rented
26:22
a room from him. That's how poor we were. Get
26:27
it? I never saw the, it one time was in Southern
26:29
California heat. I'm talking about desert, high
26:31
desert heat, like 110, 112, and he had a swamp
26:35
cooler and that was it. So we, and this is before
26:39
I decided to take life into my own, I mean, life
26:41
in my own hands in the sense of I'm gonna I'm
26:44
gonna direct my life. And I was sitting around
26:46
complaining, he was like, dude, I have this great
26:51
life and I live in a mission in life. He says,
26:54
you know why this heat don't bother me? He says,
26:56
because I got bigger things to do in life. The
26:59
nigga was lying to the motherfucker, but he was
27:00
so right. When you find your authentic self,
27:05
the loneliness don't feel the same way it used
27:06
to be when you was inauthentic. It's not, look,
27:11
loneliness can kill you. Let's talk about the
27:14
research. Being alone can drive you crazy. This
27:18
is definitely a major cause of depression. Feeling
27:21
alone is a major, but what I'm saying is when
27:25
you're going on that journey, the journey of
27:28
authenticity, that's why I recommend these courses,
27:31
it's better to quantum leap and get there fast
27:33
because all you're doing is when you're 25 %
27:36
authentic now and you used to be 100 % fake,
27:39
or you're 25 % a little bit more authentic through
27:42
a few more friends, you're going to lose those
27:44
25 % and then you start feeling lonely. Then
27:48
you get 50 % authentic, you're going to lose
27:50
the 50 % and then the authentic people are like,
27:54
what are you doing? You might even leave them
27:56
for a minute because they're like, I don't know,
27:58
is this nigga trying to be real? You might even
28:01
lose them, right? But I'm telling you right now,
28:04
if you're on a real authentic journey to find
28:07
yourself, not to prove to other people, you're
28:10
not what they said, not to get back at them,
28:14
right? To really see the value of being authentic
28:16
to yourself first, it sustains you through that
28:21
journey. Now, what I can recommend is don't let
28:28
them see you sweat. Yeah, I like that. And I
28:32
usually don't like saying that. How come? Because,
28:37
I'll say this, if you're in a room that people
28:39
can't see you sweat, unless you're performing,
28:42
unless you're in a negotiation, unless you're
28:44
in a contest situation, but if you're in your
28:49
authentic mode, and you're around authentic people,
28:52
and you're around people you should trust, if
28:54
you can't let them see you sweat, you're in the
28:56
wrong crowd. You're in the wrong room. Everybody
29:00
sweats sometimes. Everybody loses track of things.
29:03
it's confronted with fear. Everybody falls off
29:06
the bandwagon. Everybody struggles. And you're
29:09
around some people that are going to not understand
29:11
that and use that against you or make you feel
29:13
bad or not help you through that, then that's
29:16
to sign you around the wrong people. Don't get
29:18
me wrong, the journey to authenticity hurts.
29:22
You lose people, you're like, damn, you for reals,
29:24
et tu, Brute? Like, that's a real, that's a real
29:27
part of the journey. True. Yeah, I'm not gonna
29:30
lie, I had a... I feel like my journey for that
29:33
started in my early twenties. And that was when
29:35
I left my religion and it was - Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
29:39
Yeah. Like that was my entire life. Cause those
29:42
are all people I grew up with. I knew ever since
29:45
I was a kid and basically just starting over
29:48
in your mid twenties. It's weird. It was so weird,
29:53
man. Just cause even now I'm still like the life
29:56
that most people got to experience. I'm still
29:59
coming into now. And just the happiness I feel
30:03
now is just... I could never replicate something
30:08
like that in an environment I don't belong in.
30:11
Even when I talk to my parents every time, because
30:13
they will not give up. They want me to come back,
30:17
but that's just not home. That's not the people
30:21
I feel like I should be around. That's not the
30:24
environment I feel like I could be my most authentic
30:27
self. It's like you said, you might be 100 %
30:32
inauthentic at one point, but when you're around
30:34
the people you're meant to be around, chips away
30:37
and chips away and you just start building up
30:39
the person that you're always meant to be. And
30:42
I know sometimes people are just going to say
30:44
like, damn, I don't recognize you anymore. Sometimes
30:47
that's a really good thing. That's a really dope.
30:49
You might find the biggest piece of shit in the
30:52
world saying that to you. It's like, yo, that's
30:55
a good thing. If I don't align with you, if you
30:57
don't recognize me. That means I'm actually making
31:00
growth exactly that means I'm actually changing
31:02
on my pattern and that means I'm actually doing
31:04
right not only by myself, but just Everybody
31:08
around me exactly. I feel like that's such a
31:11
powerful moment to come into realization about
31:16
Yeah, man, what uh Do you ever feel like you?
31:24
Do you ever feel like people from your old life
31:26
kind of? What's the word? they kind of Provoke
31:35
old parts of you or oh? Hell yeah, okay percent
31:38
yeah, how do you go about? You know how do you
31:43
go about? Keeping that old side of you away or
31:46
certain things that you just don't align with
31:48
well You know you didn't put a time on it, so
31:50
let me let me let me let me put some caveats
31:52
of that When you start your authentic journey
31:55
there can will there can and will be an end if
31:59
you stay on course right, but um I'll say that
32:08
they will always be able to get you off course
32:12
when you're on the journey. There is a destination
32:16
to, oh fuck, this is one of the most powerful
32:19
things ever. Nobody is gonna get me off that
32:22
course, ever. And then it's your own demons.
32:26
So I'm at that stage where my boys push me and
32:30
beat the shit out of me, cursed me out. I've
32:33
had my boys call me one time, call me several
32:35
times and go off on me. in love, but once I had
32:39
that, and I'll call it a revelation, or our atheist
32:43
brothers and sisters, transformation, or to have
32:46
a physical example, germination. It was from
32:51
one stint to the other, and I realized, no, not
32:53
only is my authenticity not a problem, it is
32:56
a superpower of mine, and that is for everybody.
33:00
Once you get... You're always going to be tempted
33:03
to go back to that old self while you're in the
33:05
journey because the journey is discovering what
33:09
every single person that I know has made it there.
33:13
And I know different races, different cultures,
33:15
different times in history. I love history. I
33:17
read a lot about historical figures or hear them
33:20
from my positive psychology journey or used to
33:24
be called self help. Now it's called positive
33:26
psychology. And once you reach that, Nobody on
33:31
the planet will take you off that that horse
33:33
It's only why you're in the journey and you're
33:36
full of doubt or any little bit of doubt That's
33:39
where those people get you. So like I started
33:41
I started deconstructing gang culture when I
33:43
was like 17 I didn't really get out until I was
33:46
in my early 20s. Hmm, right. I started deconstructing
33:50
monogamy Shit at 16. I didn't get out till 10
33:54
years ago. Really? Yeah Well, let's style back
33:58
to the gang culture first. Was that just a product
34:05
of your environment or do you feel like that
34:07
was something that you just kind of had to...
34:10
No, it was 100 % a product of my environment
34:12
because I didn't grow up violent or have that
34:14
mentality. I was a metrosexual, nice little boy
34:18
when I was a kid. If it wasn't for my stepdad,
34:22
a real man, a real gangster, not... a real mafioso,
34:27
not a thug on the street. He was the one's like,
34:30
nigga, why are you claiming a street you don't
34:32
even live in? He did not like the gang culture
34:34
I was in. I was in it because I was in a neighborhood
34:38
and he didn't understand what was going on because
34:40
he was too high level drug dealing. And this
34:42
is when Crips and Bloods and Pyroos and Crips
34:46
really started exploding in LA and spanning out
34:50
to the Valley and expanding out to where I lived.
34:56
you know, my generation, the one that started
34:58
spreading it all over the world. But before then,
35:00
when I was a kid, I was just getting beat up
35:02
by Crips, period, that's it. And so who else
35:06
is gonna help me? Cause my parents didn't understand,
35:09
so they was just thinking it was regular every
35:10
day, you know, learn how to box and show them
35:13
that you're willing to stand up and they'll leave
35:15
you alone. Everybody takes their blows and goes
35:17
home. Nah, honestly, they shooting out here,
35:20
Dad. He knew it, but he didn't understand. to
35:24
the point it was like, why are you claiming a
35:26
street that you don't even own that don't make
35:27
no sense to me? But it was a thousand percent.
35:32
I wish we lived in Bel Air instead of Pacoima
35:34
or Palmdale when they was all getting shipped
35:38
up from LA because they was canceling the section
35:42
eight. So they was sending them up there to Palmdale.
35:44
Now Palmdale is Compton. Compton is gentrified
35:47
now. Palmdale is country and that's where I grew
35:49
up. So it was like... And I was a buster, y 'all.
35:54
Let me tell this to anybody. Oh, I knew that
35:56
straight up. I was a buster. Why? Because I didn't
35:59
really put in work? That's up to you to decide.
36:02
But reason why is because I had my dad in my
36:04
hair. So why am I doing this? When we'd be at
36:07
a skating rink, and back then, that's where we
36:10
wore a lot of skating rinks, and I was like,
36:13
I'd rather holler at this Mexican chick over
36:15
there and y 'all over here fighting over some
36:16
shit. And I just... I really, once I got in and
36:20
I learned and I paid my dues and whatever, and
36:23
got jumped in and did what I had to do, I was
36:26
going like, can you get some money and talk to
36:27
these bitches? Why are these Crips always fucking,
36:29
fucking with me? Why we gotta, you know, and
36:32
at that time it was, now it's different. Back
36:34
then it was 10 to one. So for every Crip, it
36:36
was one blood. So I just was like, now it's in
36:41
me now. I was too, I was this close to getting
36:45
coin my pie with two P's and a B on my neck.
36:47
And I'm so glad I didn't. It's in my DNA now,
36:51
but I denounced that shit and I deconstructed
36:54
it because I knew we were just destroying ourselves.
36:57
You know what I mean? I knew why. I know all
36:59
the, I don't even know all the conspiracy theories
37:01
behind it, but deconstructing it was a long time.
37:07
I still consider myself a blood, but I don't
37:09
never want to have any beef with a Crip. I don't
37:11
hate a Crip. I don't have any problem with Crips.
37:13
I don't want anything to do with that. But it's
37:15
who I am. You know, it took me a long time to
37:19
just say crip walk You know when you were in
37:29
that time, yeah you you you The best you did
37:34
is if you like those graffiti was going around
37:36
our hip hop was growing if you put a C Then you
37:40
put an X inside if you was doing graffiti. Oh
37:43
If you were speaking everything or we you're
37:46
not from Compton you from Bompton Oh, so they
37:48
actually did say that. Oh, a thousand percent,
37:50
dude. Okay, I always wonder about that. Oh, a
37:53
thousand percent. Oh, a thousand percent. You
37:55
didn't say nothing with the C word. It might've
37:58
been K, kite, no problem, but we ain't going
38:02
to church. We going to birch. You know what I'm
38:04
saying? Like, no, what you mean? Unless you talking
38:06
to grandma, right? And boy, shut up with that
38:10
shit. You know what I mean? But I know how a
38:12
lot of things to deconstruct from. Yeah, do you
38:15
feel like there was like any kind of... structure
38:18
to that lifestyle that you kind of took any positive
38:20
notes from? Oh, 100%. I mean, there's even a
38:22
book out there of people that talk about the
38:25
good things that come from it. If you want to
38:33
get into the political, I want to get back to
38:35
some of this, but there's a reason why the gang
38:38
members were so horrific and so terrible and
38:40
so ubiquitous. We did not cause that ourselves.
38:44
but we learned camaraderie. We learned having
38:47
each other's back. I learned a piece of brotherhood.
38:50
Now it fell apart when you went to jail. We weren't
38:53
taking care of each other like the mafiosos were,
38:55
but I learned about, you know, brotherhood from
39:01
there. I learned, you know, some of my boys risked
39:03
their lives to have my back and I risked my life
39:05
to have theirs. And some of my boys are dead
39:08
or in jail, I put in work with. You know what
39:11
I'm saying? And I spread around, I was in...
39:13
But I was also in Devalaine stuff. Because bloods
39:16
worked together back then. We didn't fight each
39:18
other like Crips did. I don't know about now.
39:20
I don't know about the scene now. People like,
39:22
if Lil Wayne, he's a blood, then I don't know
39:24
nothing about nothing. I ain't coming for nobody.
39:27
I don't do that shit no more. But yeah, there
39:30
was a lot of things I learned. But to go back
39:32
to what we were saying, all of that is me. And
39:36
I'm proud because I can, as a bull and as a dating
39:40
coach, as a marriage coach, I can show up in
39:49
many different ways. I can show up as a gangster,
39:51
and that's me. I was around it. I know real Gs.
39:55
I know real niggas when I can. And I wasn't one.
39:59
I put in work if I fucking have to or if I defended
40:01
myself. I was a bust -der. Like, I am not the
40:06
one. One of my favorite lines from Young and
40:09
May was like, but when it's time to pop, they
40:12
a no -show. That was me. I ain't trying to shoot
40:17
nobody unless I'm defending myself. Nigga, I
40:19
ain't trying to fight nobody. So I got out. Luckily
40:24
my dad had enough clout for me to get out, because
40:26
some niggas try to get out and you, mm -mm. So
40:29
I was blessed and I was spoiled. And I had niggas
40:32
tell me, if it wasn't for your dad, nigga, I'll
40:34
kill you little buster ass. I was out there wiling.
40:40
But I did learn a lot of things that are still
40:42
with me now. Some of it's not good, I still...
40:44
I live in a real, I live in white suburban neighborhood
40:46
now. I still watch my back. I still have a gangster's
40:49
mentality about it. That's not healthy sometimes.
40:53
Even though I've been around just as long or
40:55
if not longer, very elegant, very educated, very
40:59
well -to -do, very proud for black folks. I was
41:01
raised by black women. Let's get that straight.
41:04
That's in me, right? I was raised by, and my
41:07
biological father raised me in ministry and black
41:10
history and history and the love of knowledge.
41:13
since I was a child. From jail, he taught me
41:16
those things. And his side of the family are
41:18
very highly educated, very well -to -do people.
41:21
So I learned to come to bear with all of that.
41:23
You know, you can get, I can have a sapio sexual
41:25
relationship, but I can also have a dumb ass,
41:28
we're almost on the tism type, you know, we're
41:31
just vibing type. I can have an intelligent business
41:34
conversation with somebody, but also talk about
41:37
rednecking. You know, I can dance also. But my
41:44
Puerto Rican accent, I'm lost. So don't judge
41:48
me, whoever it is. I lost it, okay, being around
41:51
my Mexican brothers and sisters. But anyway,
41:57
it's all about being authentic. I went through
41:59
a journey of Puerto Rican -ness authenticity,
42:01
black authenticity, sexuality. How much of my
42:06
femininity am I gonna manage? Because every human
42:09
being has feminine... and masculine traits, estrogen
42:13
and testosterone, male and females, just levels.
42:17
So when I found my authentic self, you are now
42:21
a radiant, shining light. Let's bring this home.
42:27
People can smell you, see you coming around like
42:29
the women love you, their pussies get wet for
42:33
authentic, because everybody knows how fucking
42:35
hard it is. Then you're clear to people. See,
42:39
a lot of us are inauthentic and we're unclear
42:42
to a lot of other people. Maybe not you're in
42:44
a circle, but there's a lot of people that are
42:46
not saying anything to you, but you're unclear
42:48
to them. Authentic people, like I'm gonna tell
42:50
you it's authentic that people hate. Trump is
42:53
authentic. You say, oh, he's a con man, he's
42:56
a liar, he's that. Everybody fucking knows it.
42:58
If you knew hip hop and real estate, you knew
43:01
it back in the days when gangster rappers were
43:04
celebrating him and they weren't celebrating
43:06
how nice he was, you know? The Rock is authentic.
43:12
You know, I don't like him. He's too this. He's
43:15
too mainstream. No, he's being real with you.
43:18
Right? Cat Williams. After he got on Club Shay
43:21
-Shay, he blew up. Why? Because he's authentic.
43:24
Oh, he's talking all these crazy conspiracy theories.
43:26
He believes it. You can smell it. He believes
43:28
that shit. Right? You can smell authenticity.
43:31
Some people love that person 100%. Some people
43:34
hate him. But you can tell who somebody is. I'm
43:36
just being me. I'm just being me. You shine bright.
43:41
And here's the thing, we'll talk about science.
43:44
Your pheromones deliver that to smell for other
43:48
women, and the same for men. And your subconscious
43:52
mind picks up on it. Your state of being has
43:56
a registry, like a frequency, a number. Might
43:59
be as long as the DNA numbers are, but it's your
44:02
unique frequency. It infects the sweat glands
44:06
and the smells. This is all science, not WUSA.
44:11
Some scientific people say don't wear deodorant
44:14
and you'll find the love of your life because
44:16
she will pick up the scent. These are neuroscientific
44:23
scientists saying you look it up. One of the
44:25
Weinstein brothers. Can't remember which one.
44:27
Not the, you know, the me too guy in Hollywood.
44:31
These are science, two brothers who are scientists
44:34
and they teach at Ivy League schools. I'm wearing
44:40
some deodorant so you don't have to get my pheromone
44:42
some other ways but I'm just telling you. And
44:46
so authenticity is so powerful. What happens
44:48
is when you walk into the room, now you're two
44:50
things. We haven't even gotten to the other,
44:52
you know, ten. But now you're two things. I'm
44:55
gonna walk in there, I'm gonna find a way to
44:57
be victorious, and now I'm gonna be my full self.
44:59
You might have days that are terrible because
45:02
you walk into a room and you realize the vibe
45:04
ain't right, the people are cool, and you feel
45:06
terrible. What the fuck? It's one thing when
45:10
the vibe ain't right and the people are inauthentic
45:12
or liars or ghetto or stupid or... But you walk
45:16
into a room and you're authentic and the vibe's
45:18
not right, but you realize everybody's kind of
45:20
cool, so no problem. It's not a problem. They're
45:22
not bad people. It's just not my jam. You start
45:27
going on that journey and start following the
45:30
groups and the Facebook groups and the meetup
45:32
groups and the, you know, football or whatever.
45:37
You start sliding into that. You start shining.
45:42
Women pick up on that. Men pick up on that. People
45:45
start reproaching you. People will start making
45:49
it obvious that they want to be close to you.
45:53
So You got any other questions for me on as far
45:57
as any of that? I've been running my mouth a
45:59
long time on this one. So now you good Deconstructed
46:05
monogamy. How'd you get to that? Oh, man. So
46:08
I think I was born this way. I think I was born
46:10
Without a jealous bone in my body. I remember
46:13
when I was dating this really I don't talk about
46:15
this a lot ladies Yes, my wife knows it bothers
46:18
everybody But I used to date a Jet Magazine model,
46:21
and she was bad, this black girl. I'm gonna say
46:24
her name, because there's a million of them.
46:25
Her name is Trina. Badder than a motherfucker.
46:28
Ooh, she was hot. And I was dating her, but she
46:30
was also dating this thug nigga who always wanted
46:33
to prove his violence, crip nigga. And I was
46:36
like, uh, damn. So she was cheating on me with
46:43
him, and why boys was telling me. And... Looking
46:47
back especially the authenticity journey. I never
46:50
tell people I always tell me what I was thinking.
46:53
I Didn't tell him everything. I said I eventually
46:56
would be like, I don't know what you mean. She
46:58
likes dick I like I like pussy But in my I might
47:02
have been outside of yeah, I think that's fucked
47:03
up man But I was really thinking She likes dicks.
47:08
I like pussy. What's the fucking problem? Like
47:11
can't we just all get along? I'll hit the shit
47:14
on Tuesday. You get it on Wednesday like But
47:17
I got into ministry, I was surrounded by monogamous
47:21
culture. I was in the whole, like, back then
47:25
it was, it ain't no fun if the homies can't have
47:30
none. You know, I was one of them niggas who
47:32
was in there running trains on ghetto bitches,
47:35
you know? Let's just say it like it is. They
47:36
was fucking with, YNs as they call it nowadays.
47:40
You know, we was having a good time. When nobody
47:42
was raping anybody, nobody did anything bad or
47:45
wrong. We were just too young to be doing that
47:46
shit. So I was used to that. But when it came
47:52
down to monogamy, I just did it because my pastor
47:55
told me I need to, because these people out there
47:58
need to see a good man representing. Even though
48:00
my religion doesn't believe in that stuff, we
48:02
needed to be representatives for other religions
48:05
that will use that as a stumbling block. Or...
48:09
I was involved in mostly very, very like either
48:13
first or second generation Hispanic women. They
48:15
was monogamous dinner motherfucker. My Peruvian
48:22
wife was mad because I was working on a picture
48:24
of a coworker of ours for a nightclub who she
48:28
knew. I decided to put that aside because I thought
48:35
I needed to start a family or be a minister or
48:37
do all this other bullshit. And that's not bullshit.
48:39
I have great kids. I have those lives. I've learned
48:42
a lot now and I'm glad to teach people to get
48:45
away from my thing. But deconstructing that really
48:48
started with my in between of a lady that I was
48:54
engaged with. And I really started looking into
48:58
it and I brought it up to her. She was like,
49:00
hell no. And I was like, fuck. So I brought it
49:05
up to my second wife. And she was like, hell
49:13
no. So I told myself, after that, fuck it, I
49:17
am not doing this again. And that was like 15
49:21
years ago. So I've been trying to deconstruct,
49:25
but I was like dealing with ultra conservative,
49:30
monogamous, cultured women. Monogamy's fine.
49:32
I have no problem with monogamy. I think most
49:34
people should be. I think the problem is culture
49:37
is broken. And so I actually met my ex -wife
49:43
and she allowed to look into it. She took my
49:49
tenacious research as pushing, which it wasn't,
49:52
but I wasn't a leader in that space at that time.
49:58
So I made a lot of mistakes, but I did a lot
50:01
of research. Since I'm a nerd, since I'm a researcher,
50:06
since I have this incessant need, and maybe I'll
50:09
tell you why in the future, to dig deep and to
50:12
go down insane, dark, long rabbit holes of shit,
50:17
I just started looking at the research, and it
50:19
was the research that changed my mind. She saw
50:21
that as pushing? Well, yeah, and most people
50:24
do. I don't blame her. I am tenacious with questions.
50:28
Most people take questions as statements. Ah,
50:31
okay. Like if I say, why do you do this? And
50:34
why do you think we're doing that? Are you sure?
50:36
And why not? I wanted to understand why she's
50:38
like, this nigga just wants to push me so he
50:40
can get some pussy. And a lot of people think
50:43
that. A lot of arguments, a lot of cucko arguments
50:46
are thinking, oh, he's just bringing this up
50:47
because he wants to get his later. He's just
50:50
telling me I don't want anything. I've heard
50:52
that story as a podcaster a thousand times, right?
50:56
So I don't blame her. And I tell everybody, if
50:59
you know who I'm talking about and everybody
51:01
knows me, I was in the wrong. I did not do it
51:04
right. I did not make her feel comfortable. I
51:07
did not make her feel like we can ease into this
51:09
at her pace. The biggest one of the lessons I
51:12
learned is go at the slowest person's pace. I
51:14
learned that because I did not do that with my
51:16
ex -wife. I have a lot of problems with her,
51:20
and I was the one that got divorced, so I know
51:23
why I left her and had nothing to do with lifestyle,
51:26
but I made all of my mistakes with her. The biggest
51:31
thing is she pushed me to go back to get my BA
51:34
in business and I took an anthropology class.
51:37
And a very Christian conservative went up there
51:39
and I'll never forget this. I feel like God sent,
51:41
I feel like this was God for me. Yahweh is what
51:45
I believe. He was up there and this is this bubbly,
51:48
nice, awesome guy. I know we're going over time,
51:50
I don't mind. We're probably gonna go over, no
51:53
worries about that. We're probably gonna go over
51:56
an hour. I just, we need to stop at a certain
52:00
time so Siren can start recording her podcast.
52:04
But anyway, I'll never forget this day, this
52:07
bubbly, excited, you can tell he's, and we're
52:11
in SoCal, and in liberal land, you smell conservatives.
52:16
You see him a mile away. And it was great, I
52:19
loved it. I was black conservative one time.
52:21
I'm not in that shit, but at one time I was.
52:23
And so, I'll never forget he came, he's melancholy,
52:26
he was like, class, this is one of the hardest
52:32
subjects to talk about in anthropology because
52:36
it goes against my sensibilities as, I forgot
52:41
what he said, he didn't say Christian conservative,
52:42
but he said something to that effect. And he
52:44
was like, and he just broke it down. 0 .004 %
52:50
of mammals on this planet are monogamous. Human
52:54
beings, homoserectus, have never been monogamous.
52:59
Now, you can talk about all kinds of structures.
53:03
You can talk about certain things like serial
53:05
monogamy and forced monogamy and cultural monogamy,
53:09
but left to their own devices, human beings and
53:12
no mammals are, right? Even when they point out
53:18
penguins, they're serial monogamous. They're
53:20
monogamous to raise the kids and then they move
53:22
on. That was the first time I was like, uh -uh.
53:25
My ex -wife also was a very, very... big in academics,
53:29
and she taught me how to really research. Because
53:32
most people think researching is going to Google
53:35
and asking Google a question. That's not. Researching
53:38
is, academic way is to actually put together
53:41
a research team, go out there and find, do surveys,
53:44
find the results, do whatever, bring back that.
53:46
But that's, no, I'm not using that definition.
53:49
Researching is reading the papers. Do you know
53:52
how to read the language? If you don't know how
53:54
to read statistics, don't read one fucking paper
53:56
because you don't speak that language. Statistics
53:58
is a language. And almost all research papers
54:01
are based on statistics. If you don't understand
54:03
what kind of research paper, what kind of research
54:06
it was, was it double blind? Has it been peer
54:08
reviewed? Has it been replicated? She taught
54:12
me all of that. And when I started looking at
54:14
real, and I started getting an RSS feed of every
54:18
kind of college paper and then journals now,
54:23
and I'm starting to meet people who are actually
54:25
having degrees in ethical non -monogamy. When
54:27
I started reading those papers, And then I listened
54:29
to a podcast they don't record anymore called
54:33
The Priory Society. And it's a Hispanic couple
54:36
that are very successful. And they started, the
54:39
first ones that I listened to, because I used
54:40
to listen to every ethical non -monogamy podcast
54:44
I can get my hands on. And they started spitting
54:47
out. They were the first ones that spit out actual
54:50
studies and research results and speaking that
54:54
language. That's when I was the same time in
54:58
my anthropology class and I was no looking back.
55:03
But you don't need to do that. I did an episode
55:06
on four different ways of research or different
55:08
types of researchers. Do your own research, do
55:10
your own thing, but go to the point, I'm telling
55:13
you this right now, start an authentic journey.
55:15
Don't stop until you're like, fuck, I'm never
55:17
doing this. The devil himself can ask me, be
55:20
an authentic, I won't, because it's that powerful.
55:24
And it does the work for you. Your pheromones
55:26
are literally going out. Maybe not as much because
55:28
you wear deodorant, but it's going out. You're
55:31
glowing. Some people call it aura, right? Scientifically,
55:35
it's just your subconscious mind not having to
55:39
compensate for your inauthenticity because inauthenticity
55:43
takes energy away from you. It takes brain power
55:46
away from you. Your brain has to translate, well,
55:49
I authentically want to say this, now I have
55:50
to translate it and say it to this person because
55:54
I can't be authentic with them, so I have to
55:56
give them kind of like a white lie or inauthentic
56:00
statement. It does a lot of the work for you.
56:05
You don't have to put in a lot of work to get
56:06
women, if you're walking in a room authentic.
56:09
Ugly, bottle glasses, ashy, everything. I've
56:13
seen... Just genuine, authentic. I know guys
56:17
now, now I look at them, I don't think they're
56:19
attractive. He says he's not. He ashy. I feel
56:24
like the brother puts his hand in flour before
56:28
he shakes it. Like everything. But he is the
56:31
most authentic nerd guy I know. Socially awkward.
56:40
And that dude gets pussy left and right. And
56:43
he gets women falling in love with him left and
56:45
right. He gets women that genuinely like him
56:47
left and right. And he has female friends left
56:49
and right. Because he's just this original, quirky,
56:52
I don't put lotion on myself person who's going
56:56
to talk to you more. He's the actual guy. I used
56:58
to be too a lot. He's the actual guy where somebody
57:00
tells a joke and he's like, well, technically,
57:03
you know what I'm saying? He's that guy. But
57:06
he's authentic. I'm old school. I remember Revenge
57:11
of the Nerds. That's a movie about nerds just
57:15
being authentic and women turning out and saying,
57:18
the fake jock, I don't like him because he's
57:21
fake, not because he was a jock, because he was
57:23
fake. I'm gonna go to the nerd who's just authentically
57:27
nerdish and doesn't have that jawline, doesn't
57:30
have that swab, doesn't have the look, doesn't
57:33
have the muscles, doesn't have the fame. He's
57:35
just being himself. People thought, oh, that's
57:38
just a movie. No, that's how it happens in real
57:39
life. So yeah, deconstructing a lifestyle was
57:45
a huge portion of my, and then the fact that
57:49
the people that sealed it for me were my boys
57:51
who are all bulls in this lifestyle. Yeah, lifestyle
57:56
was a significant, like I would say it would
57:59
be 50 % the authentic training I did in positive
58:04
psychology, like purposeful going to seminars
58:06
and paying thousands of dollars and hundreds
58:09
of hours in seminars and mentors. I mean, not
58:12
mentors, but because they all came with whatever,
58:15
coaches. And then these brothers in my squad
58:18
insisting that I'm inauthentic with them and
58:21
myself, that was 50 -50. So lifestyle was significant,
58:27
deconstructing lifestyle. Is to say now, I would
58:31
have it, one thing I would change that I told
58:33
my wife is that we talked about this earlier.
58:36
When we met, I got out of the lifestyle because
58:38
she was a vanilla, and I didn't want the lifestyle
58:40
to cloud her judgment, and I know her, she couldn't
58:43
handle that, and let's try to get a relationship.
58:46
I told her I would give up the lifestyle, but
58:48
I told her it would be like giving up my arm.
58:50
Now I know it's in my DNA. I would never tell
58:53
anybody that again. Worse is, I'm out the game
58:56
because my dick don't work, or tragedy happened,
58:58
and I have to, for whatever reason, but no, you
59:01
would never get me going back. Now, if... You
59:07
know, we end up in a Handmaid's Tale type situation.
59:11
Got a gun in my head. No, I don't know nothing
59:13
about no lifestyle. I'm a monogamous done motherfucker.
59:15
You know what I'm saying? But besides that, no.
59:18
No. Only my religious beliefs will I do that
59:21
for. But you know what I'm saying? But it's like.
59:24
I know it now, and I'm like, yeah, you get Socrates,
59:27
you're getting quirky, you're getting nerdy,
59:29
you're getting damn near autistic level of consonance,
59:34
but you're also, weirdly enough, as suave as
59:37
some people might think, I'm not saying I am,
59:39
I am socially awkward in many ways. I talk too
59:44
much, if you can't tell. That's why I do a podcast,
59:48
let me make some money off that. There's a lot
59:52
of things about me that are turn -offs to people,
59:55
but what I realize is that I'm attracting more
59:59
the people like, well, I like quirky, nerdy black
1:00:01
dudes that obsess over Star Wars. I can quote
1:00:08
Empire Strikes Back verbatim for every fucking
1:00:10
role. Some women like that shit, right? How many
1:00:15
times, you know, before I was in lifestyle, how
1:00:17
many times I heard, well, I don't usually voice
1:00:19
with black men, but you know, you're an exception.
1:00:24
Some people don't like me because I have a white
1:00:26
wife, but the white women love it. And there's
1:00:32
plenty of black women that are like, I don't
1:00:33
care. I just want you. I want that BBC or I want
1:00:38
your great personality. I was telling you about
1:00:41
it. I was like, man, what I see is so unique,
1:00:45
so not around, especially in masculine arenas.
1:00:52
Dude, you are a shining light. bright shining
1:00:55
light amongst men trying to get us. We're in
1:01:00
a state now where there's either ultra betas,
1:01:04
and I don't mean betas, I mean the negative beta.
1:01:06
I don't think there's a judgment on any of the
1:01:09
archetypes. I think a beta is great. If you're
1:01:12
a beta, that means you're bad or you're gonna
1:01:13
get foked over or anything, or you're a nice
1:01:15
guy. Beta and nice guy are different. But I feel
1:01:22
like when you're yourself and you are the person
1:01:29
that you need to be, there's somebody that needs
1:01:34
that. And I like what my man Demetri said on
1:01:40
the Keys and Exes podcast when we had a Brotherhood
1:01:42
episode. I really highly recommend you go there
1:01:45
and listen to that episode. I might even ask
1:01:48
Michael C. if I can replay it on the Bull Brotherhood.
1:01:51
But he said, you know, everybody knows you're
1:01:55
not everybody's type. But also, you should know
1:01:59
you are somebody's type. I'll say it even worse.
1:02:01
You're not everybody's type, but there's somebody
1:02:03
out there that were like, you're exactly what
1:02:06
I was looking for. And I don't care who you are.
1:02:10
There's a motivational speaker out there. I can't
1:02:13
forget his name. He has no hands and legs and
1:02:16
his wife is hot as fuck. And he is a multimillionaire.
1:02:22
And he wobbles around and gives motivational
1:02:24
speeches. He's got a better game than you. I've
1:02:28
been in I've been in splash mocha I've been a
1:02:30
hotel takeover and the guy who's in a wheelchair
1:02:33
has women chasing after him You know, so I highly
1:02:44
recommend you go on this journey of authenticity
1:02:46
I highly recommend you edit smartly the same
1:02:49
way you do it around your mama your cousins your
1:02:53
job Your pastor your children the police Just
1:02:59
calibrate I am not a criminal, so I don't do
1:03:03
anything different around police. I just don't
1:03:07
tell them anything besides what my attorney tells
1:03:11
me to tell them. Why? Because I'm hiding anything
1:03:15
until my attorney says, your truth can be misconstrued
1:03:19
and used against you. So I am Socrates everywhere
1:03:25
I go, but I calibrate. So unless you got anything
1:03:30
else. I'm good. Thank you for having me, man.
1:03:33
Thank you. I will be doing solo episodes of these.
1:03:36
I just like having Chris on there. He has a sharp
1:03:38
mind. The next one is the third one. Start our
1:03:41
journey of finding or living your vision and
1:03:48
purpose and plan. That man is one of the things
1:03:51
that are rooted in my religion, rooted in my
1:03:53
upbringing. That's in my DNA. So I'm really excited
1:03:56
about that one. The other two, man, I learned
1:03:58
that recently. This one, I've known this for
1:04:01
a while. It's damn near my... religious belief
1:04:05
and I'm gonna be excited about talking about
1:04:08
that and how you can do it in small Micro like
1:04:11
atomic habit ways. I really highly recommend
1:04:13
that book by the way atomic habits, but you can
1:04:17
do it in the most smallest way you can do it
1:04:18
in the biggest way and It will if you are I like
1:04:24
what we say On the last part, we say if you are
1:04:27
a bull, if you're a hot wife, you're a stag vixen,
1:04:30
or you're an open -minded explorer. That's for
1:04:33
my vanilla people. That's for my Monogamish people.
1:04:36
That's for my LGBTQ plus community people. That's
1:04:39
for everybody. If you're open enough and you're
1:04:42
open -minded enough to listen to this podcast,
1:04:45
these are principles that will help anybody.
1:04:47
You don't have to be a bull to walk into a room
1:04:50
and say I'm going to be intelligently authentic.
1:04:54
I'm out of here, guys. I appreciate everybody.
1:04:56
Appreciate you, Chris, for being on that. And
1:04:59
we'll talk to y 'all later. Peace.