Latest / Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor / EPISODE 38: TWO TYPES OF PLAYERS… THEN THERE’S KOBE BRYANT

Transcript

EPISODE 38: TWO TYPES OF PLAYERS… THEN THERE’S KOBE BRYANT · Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to live Friday in Wheel State.
0:11
SPEAKER_02: Things going on in life.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: Hey family.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Hey family.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Hey family.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Life, Finance, and Real Estate with the girl Kirby the Realtor.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Yes, y'all, that is me.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to talk about the two types of players.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, technically, three.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: There are two types of players.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: A player who loves to win, a player who hates to lose.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: At least that's what we're told, right?
1:55
SPEAKER_00: But then there's Kobe Bryant, the late great Kobe Bryant.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: And y'all, I heard something from Kobe Bryant in an interview a while back that made me stop and think.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: He was presented with the idea there are players who love to win, and there are players who hate to lose.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: And his response was basically, I am neither.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Now hold on one second.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Because we're talking about Kobe Bryant, okay?
2:19
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Most of us associate with competition, discipline, winning, all the championships, and what became known as the Mamba mentality.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: So you would probably expect him to say, I hate losing, or I love winning, but that wasn't his perspective.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: He talked about playing to figure things out, playing to learn something.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: And when I heard that, I said, Now that there, that will preach.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: Not literally preach, y'all, but y'all know what I mean.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Um, because sometimes we start thinking about how just think about this.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: How many of us are living our lives on one side or the other?
2:58
SPEAKER_00: We're either trying to desperately win or desperately try not to lose.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if there's another place we need to learn how to live.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Think about it, somewhere like in the middle, right?
3:11
SPEAKER_00: A place where winning doesn't validate you and losing doesn't destroy you or make you any less than a person.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: A place where you can simply say, I am here to figure things out, and that's what we're gonna talk about today on life, finance, and real estate with the girl.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's think about this.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Some people need to win, right?
3:33
SPEAKER_00: When I say need, I mean like need all caps in ed.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Their need, they need to be first, they need to have the biggest business, they need to make the most money, they need to have the nicest house, their child has to be the best athlete.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Just think and picture these things.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Their relationship has to look perfect, their career has to look successful, but their social media has to make them look like everything is going wonderful.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: But somewhere along the way, y'all, women became attached to who they were, it was it was their identity.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So when they're winning, they feel good about themselves, but y'all, what happens when they're not winning?
4:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's the question.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: What happens when you're not winning?
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Because if winning is the thing that tells me I'm successful, what does losing tell me?
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Does it tell me I'm unsuccessful?
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Does it tell me I felt like I'm a failure?
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Does losing a climb mean I'm not good at what I do?
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Does it make does making a bad financial decision mean I'm bad with money forever?
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Does a relationship ending mean I failed a relationship?
4:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying all the things, right?
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Does a deal fall apart means I'm not a good realtor?
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Of course not.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: But sometimes we live life, y'all, like it does.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's why that idea struck me.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: That's why when he said that, it really struck a nerve because when you remove your identity from the outcome, you can finally examine the outcome, and that's different.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Instead of I lost, now I can ask what happened.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Instead of I fail, I can ask what didn't work, right?
5:10
SPEAKER_00: Instead of I'm not good enough, you can ask, what do I need to learn?
5:15
SPEAKER_00: Do you hear the difference?
5:17
SPEAKER_00: One attacks your identity, right?
5:19
SPEAKER_00: And the other one gives you information.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Then there's people who hate to lose.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: Now let's go to the other side of things because somebody listen today is saying, Kirby, I don't care about being number one, I just hate losing.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay, but that can control you too if you're not careful, because if you hate losing so badly, eventually you'll become a you become afraid to try.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: And I oftentimes speak with people that are afraid to even try because they don't want to appear to be a failure.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to lose.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we call it, I'm just gonna be careful, I'm just not gonna do it.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: And you think it's you being responsible.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we say, I'm just waiting on the right time.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: But let's tell the truth here.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're just simply scared.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: We are afraid.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: We we are we're gonna lose the money, we're gonna look foolish, people gonna think we're a failure.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: Scared, somebody's gonna tell us I told you so.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: You scared the business not gonna work, you apply for the position, you're scared, scared to buy the property, sell the house, you're scared to make a career move, you're scared to try, you know, different things to start over.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: You're scared to ask for help, scared to hear the words no.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Lord have mercy.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: If you build your whole life around avoiding the losses, you may eventually build a life where you never take enough risk to discover what you're actually capable of.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: You didn't lose, but did you really place the question?
6:51
SPEAKER_00: That's the question.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: Did you actually get your butt in that game?
6:56
SPEAKER_00: And then we have the third player.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: So now we have two people.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: One says I have to win, the other one says I can't lose, and then that's the third person.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: That third person says, I am going to figure it out.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: Now that's different because now I don't need any and everything before I start, right?
7:12
SPEAKER_00: I don't have to know everything, I don't need a guarantee, I don't need everybody to agree with me.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't even need everything to go according to the original plan.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I just need enough information to take the next step, right?
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And when I take that step, I'm gonna pay attention.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna I'm gonna analyze, I'm gonna come back and revamp what worked, what didn't, what did I miss, what did I assume, what should I do differently?
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Who knows something I don't know?
7:41
SPEAKER_00: Who do I need to ask?
7:42
SPEAKER_00: What information do I need?
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And then guess what you're gonna do?
7:45
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna adjust, right?
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And that's how you figure things out.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: And some of us need to stop asking, Am I winning?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: and start asking, Am I learning?
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Because you can look like you're losing while you're actually gathering the information, it's gonna change your life forever.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: I want you to start looking at your life differently.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: If you're under the sound of my voice today, I want you to understand life will give you data, you just have to live it.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Start looking at it differently.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Everything doesn't have to be labeled a blessing or a disaster immediately.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's just good information.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: That relationship you were in, it taught you something.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: That friendship that you had, it taught you something.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: That job that you had taught you something, that business that didn't go well, it taught you something.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: That season you went through taught you something.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: Every mistake, the rejections, the closed doors, it all taught you something.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: And here's where we mess up.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: We become so emotional about the fact that something didn't work, that we miss what the experience was actually trying to teach us.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: We're crying constantly over the outcome, and we should also be studying that outcome to see what happened.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Now don't misunderstand me.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to be disappointed.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: We all are.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: We we're allowed to be heard, we're allowed to say I really wanted that.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: But after you process that emotion, there's another question waiting.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: What did I learn?
9:20
SPEAKER_00: What could have done differently, right?
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want to go through something difficult and leave empty-handed.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: If I had to experience it, baby, I'm taking the lessons with me.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: You heard me now.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: This is life and finance, right?
9:33
SPEAKER_00: So let's get about let's get to the money, let's get there.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: Because some people are terrified of making the wrong financial decision.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: So they make no decision at all, right?
9:44
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to invest because they're afraid of losing.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to start the business because it might fail, because I'm taking my savings, or I'm I'm getting money for this, or I took out a loan.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to start the business, they don't want to buy the stuff, they they want to wait for the perfect interest rates, or you know, all the things, right?
10:02
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to change career because the current paycheck feels safe.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can tell y'all some stories about a paycheck, right?
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm not telling anybody to be reckless, I'm not trying to advise you not to count up the cost and and because the Bible teaches us that, right?
10:19
SPEAKER_00: He teaches us to count it up the cost, like weigh it out, pray about it.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: But please don't leave here saying Kirby told you to throw your money at anything, because that ain't what I'm saying.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm saying learn how to make informed decisions without requiring certainty, right?
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Because certainty is expensive.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes by the time everybody knows something's a good opportunity, guess what?
10:43
SPEAKER_00: It's been changed, or that window's passed, right?
10:47
SPEAKER_00: You've missed that opportunity because if I have to like go ask mama, daddy, sister, brother, cousin, she looked, all these different people, right?
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And then you come back to it and say, Oh, I'm ready to do it.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
11:01
SPEAKER_00: It's gone.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: No longer available.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Financial maturity, y'all, isn't it's it's not that you're not making a mistake, it's being able to make the decision, you evaluate the result, make the adjustment, and keep going without one decision destroying you.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I believe financial education matters because when you understand money better, you're not just asking how much can I make?
11:26
SPEAKER_00: You're asking, what's my risk here?
11:29
SPEAKER_00: What's my downside?
11:31
SPEAKER_00: What's my exit strategy?
11:33
SPEAKER_00: And what happens if this doesn't perform the way I expect?
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Can I afford that?
11:39
SPEAKER_00: What information am I missing?
11:42
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that you're being scared or being fearful, it's called wisdom, y'all.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: It's wisdom.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: What's going on, Haddis Burgess, one and only Mr.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: DJ Prince, Mr.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Thankful, Mr.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: GraphicT's World.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: And I'm checking in right here live with Kirby the Realtor.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes, life, finances, and reality.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: She's gonna talk about it, okay?
12:04
SPEAKER_01: So stay right here.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: And while you're at it, right, go ahead and follow her on Facebook because we got some giveaways and we're trying to hook you up.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: So stay right there.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: Don't move.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: You're live with Kirby the Realtor on 92.1.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Listen, if you if you're in real estate long enough, you're gonna have a deal fall apart, you're gonna have somebody change their mind, you're gonna have inspections come back with something unexpected, and appraisal may not come where you thought it.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Finance can change.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: A buyer can literally walk away the day of closing.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: And I am not joking you.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: A seller can decide they're not ready the day of closing.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: You can write the best offer ever, and somebody else gets that house.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: So if your entire identity is tied to winning every transaction, baby, real estate will wear you slap O U T out.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: It will wear you out mentally, physically, emotionally, all the things.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: But when something doesn't work, I've learned to ask, okay, what are our options?
13:04
SPEAKER_00: What can we change?
13:05
SPEAKER_00: What can we negotiate?
13:07
SPEAKER_00: Who needs to be called?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: What information do we need, right?
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Is there another property?
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Is there another financing structure?
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Is it another solution?
13:15
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the answer is the deal isn't supposed to happen.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: I literally just had a deal, y'all, and it was a new construction home, and all the things, and I knew my clients love, love the home.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: So I was trying to figure out how to make sure that they got the home.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: But also, I knew that we had to have an inspection, and I trust the inspector, and there were things that needed to be done, and the sales just weren't willing to address certain things, not the way we felt they should have been addressed.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: And um so my buyers had to walk away, right?
13:52
SPEAKER_00: And if I was all caught up in that outcome of them walking away versus in how they really felt, I could have lost relationships with my client as well as just like been feeling all down.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: But you have to just realize some deals, and oftentimes I tell my clients what God has for you is for you.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: So if it don't work, then that's not the house for you, right?
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay, then what did we learn that makes us better prepared for the next one?
14:21
SPEAKER_00: That's being solution-oriented.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: You don't just sit there staring at the problem saying, We lost, or now what?
14:29
SPEAKER_00: Right?
14:29
SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's where somebody listening today is actually stuck.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: You're watching that scoreboard too much, you're looking at everybody else's numbers, everybody's business, their marriage, the children, the house, all the following and the success.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: And every time somebody else appears to be winning, you're feeling like you're losing.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: But what if you're not even playing the same game?
14:51
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, you're not playing the same game.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's playing the same game.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: You're in your learning season, right?
14:58
SPEAKER_00: You're building, you're gathering information, and if God is developing something in you that the scoreboard can't measure yet, Galatians 6 and 9 tells us not to be weary and well doing.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Because in due season, what we will reap if we what, if we faint not, if we don't give up.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: Notice something.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: There's a season between planting and harvesting.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: And you can't call the planting season a failure simply because you don't see the harvest yet.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're learning, you're building, sometimes you're becoming.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And here's another piece people don't talk about.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: To live like this, you got to be willing to admit, I don't know.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: And that's hard for some people, especially once you become successful, especially when people look to you for answers.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: When you've been doing something for a long time, but there's power in saying, I don't know, but I'll figure it out.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: I tell my team all the time, it's okay to tell your class, I don't know.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: But let me get back to you.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know the answer to that.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Or that's interesting.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: Let me let me get back to you.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: That's one of the most freeing sentences you can learn.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: I don't know yet.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't understand this yet.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't I haven't mastered this yet.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I haven't figured out the business model yet, right?
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Just just being honest.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: I haven't figured out how we're gonna get from here to there.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: But give me some time, give me the information, the opportunity to learn because I don't necessarily need to be the smartest person in the room.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: I just need to be willing to learn from the room, right?
16:38
SPEAKER_00: So which player are you?
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Let's come back to where we started.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: There are two players one who loves to win and one who hates to lose.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: And then there's the mindset of Kobe Bryant described.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to figure it out.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: So which one are you?
16:54
SPEAKER_00: And maybe more importantly, which one have you been?
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Have you been so obsessed with winning that losing feels like an attack on your identity?
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Have you been so afraid of losing that you won't take the shot?
17:06
SPEAKER_00: Or have you reached a point where you walk in a situation and say, let's see what this teaches me?
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Because I think there's room, I think there's freedom in that middle.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm not walking into a room saying I have to win.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm not walking in there saying I can't afford to lose.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm walking in there saying whatever happens in this room, I'm gonna learn it enough that I know what to do next.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: And baby, that'll take you further than anything.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: That's different because now you can actually you can't defeat who I am because if I win, I learn.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: If I lose, I've learned.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: If you tell me yes, I've learned something.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: If you tell me no, I have learned something.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: If the business works exactly as planned, then great.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't, I'm gonna go back.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna study why I didn't.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: If that door opens, I'm gonna walk, I'll walk right through.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: If it closes, I'll figure out whether I need another door, another strategy, or whether I was knocking on the wrong door in the first place.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: Either way, I'm leaving with something.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's the mindset somebody needed today.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: Stop being so afraid of losing, stop being so desperate to prove that you're winning.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: Get centered, stay present, pay attention, learn, adjust, and figure it out because sometimes the most dangerous person in the game isn't the person who has to win, and it isn't the person who's afraid to lose, it's the person who knows that either way they're going to learn enough to come back better.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I am Kirby the realtor, and this is life, finance, and real estate.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: And remember, changing the way you think can change the way you live, and whatever you're facing this week.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Don't just ask yourself, how do I win?
18:48
SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what is this teaching me?
18:50
SPEAKER_00: And what am I gonna do with what I've learned?
18:54
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, see you soon.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for tuning in to Life, Finance, and Real Estate with Kirby the Realtor.
19:04
SPEAKER_02: You can catch us every Thursday at 12 p.m.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: on 92.1 WJMG, 93.1 WGDQ.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: And also you can listen live at 921wj.com or 931 WGDQ.com.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: If you happen to miss the live recording, don't fret.
19:22
SPEAKER_02: We'll be playing at 6 p.m.
19:23
SPEAKER_02: tonight.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: Thank you once again for listening to live finance and great.