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Black Dads Club · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poleman
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions Man,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: d B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: B Money podcast, were taking Jay Valentine. We got the
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Woman of All Podcasts with Saray Jake Roberts. We got
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: her next sports podcast, and the Trap Nerds podcast with
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: you visit us.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: dot Com Flash Podcast Festival, hoping to.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: We talk back where we encourage you to hustle, hard, laugh,
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: letter and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee,
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: cocktail and crown because it's about to go down.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: What's talk talk?
• 0:59
  Speaker 5: You're just too apologetically black women with an opinion?
• 1:03
  Speaker 6: Who talks back?
• 1:06
  Speaker 7: What's up, y'all?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: It's your girl, a j holiday. What's up, Tam Damn?
• 1:11
  Speaker 6: What's up girl? How you doing?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I'm good, Hey, y'all.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: I love y'all. Once again, thank y'all for tuning in.
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: I missed y'all.
• 1:21
  Speaker 6: Hey, how was your little streak girl?
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: You got your new little streak girl?
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: You know, I had to put a little blonde in
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: there because I was feeling like having fun and they
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: say blondes have more fun, and I'm out and I've
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: been outside.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: In New York having with them Brooklyn cats.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: Now, I mean I've been hanging out with some queens
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: niggas in Brooklyn. Oh, it's a Brooklyn niggas. Shout out
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: to my homegirl, Tina. Tina came outside last night.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Tina.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: Uh, you was liting this weekend. Girvanta, Oh uh, Gravonta
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: had a fight. But we're gonna talk about in a minute.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Let's talk about your weekend.
• 2:01
  Speaker 6: What'd you do?
• 2:03
  Speaker 7: My weekend was great.
• 2:05
  Speaker 8: I told you I was going to Miami this weekend,
• 2:07
  Speaker 8: so I did attend the premiere for July seven is
• 2:12
  Speaker 8: the name of the movie, and it was really good.
• 2:14
  Speaker 8: It's it's about the Haitian assassination of the Haitian president. So,
• 2:22
  Speaker 8: I mean, I know the story when when when the
• 2:24
  Speaker 8: president was actually assassinated, I did a whole went down
• 2:27
  Speaker 8: a super rabbit hole, see what the fuck was going on?
• 2:29
  Speaker 8: And this was actually during COVID, so a lot of
• 2:32
  Speaker 8: people just not paying attention to world events because it's
• 2:34
  Speaker 8: just everything was in fucking shambles at the time, right,
• 2:38
  Speaker 8: So yeah, it was a really good event, turn out
• 2:41
  Speaker 8: beautiful black people. It was really black tie, okay, you
• 2:45
  Speaker 8: know sometimes to be like black tie, like motherfucker's gonna
• 2:49
  Speaker 8: have girls. Took two dresses. The dress I wanted to wear.
• 2:54
  Speaker 8: I tried to lose ten pounds in a week. It
• 2:56
  Speaker 8: didn't work.
• 3:00
  Speaker 7: That's five though, But it.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Just wasn't enough. And I'm keep it my fucking dress
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: because it sold out.
• 3:05
  Speaker 6: Online and you're gonna get that other fire I am.
• 3:08
  Speaker 8: They could at least put at a little lastic down
• 3:11
  Speaker 8: at the leg part that's where it was tight at
• 3:14
  Speaker 8: because they had.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Like the little train. Yeah, I would have been just
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: sitting there uncomfortable in the little.
• 3:19
  Speaker 6: As that you wore. You should posted a picture on
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: your page.
• 3:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and shout up to my homegirl, Dorothy Robinson. Okay,
• 3:28
  Speaker 8: she was in her big executive producer bag on this show.
• 3:32
  Speaker 8: This is the first time I saw my Saint Louis
• 3:34
  Speaker 8: friends chih this weekend since I left Saint Louis in
• 3:38
  Speaker 8: twenty fifteen.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: That had a good time that we did the casinos.
• 3:45
  Speaker 8: Lost three hundred, two hundred and thirty dollars in the
• 3:47
  Speaker 8: casino on the slot machine in ten minutes, and I'm
• 3:51
  Speaker 8: still regretting that today because I could have bought some
• 3:55
  Speaker 8: stock options with them two hundred and thirty dollars and
• 3:58
  Speaker 8: slipped it right quick. I got having a good time. Yeah,
• 4:04
  Speaker 8: I just been all over New York eating. I ain't
• 4:07
  Speaker 8: gonna never love no weight like this.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Don't say never bit.
• 4:12
  Speaker 6: Eating like this.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: I won't.
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: But I had trainy food for the first time.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Trinidaddyans is that how you said, Trinidadian's shout out to
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: them that food. I had this thing called a shrimp
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: and goat doubles. My god, it's called doubles, and it's
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: like this joey No, it's kind of like this doe
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: kind of it tastes like some doe bread that you
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: would get from the fair, or something like a peta.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: The dumb Lades, Oh, like festival like from Jamaica or
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: like it.
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: Kind of tastes. Yeah, it kind of tastes like that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: A little bit had like chickpeas and all kinds of
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: stuff on the inside, and then you choose your topic.
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, it was so good.
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: Patty kind kinda kind of it would give something like that, right,
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: but it was so good. I had that from this
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: restaurant called Triny City, and queen shout out to Treney City.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: I will be back. Yes, I just been eating and
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: then I went to this bar call.
• 5:18
  Speaker 6: Charm Bar.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Went there last night, so I'm just hanging out a
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: little bit. Yeah, it's a nice little bar. Is A
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: lot of these places in New York are real tiny,
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: you know. It's not a lot of spaces easy. Yeah,
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: but it was a cool vibe. It was so cold,
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: like twenty something degrees last night, so it was for
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: a reason.
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: But anytime I get a reason to pull out a
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: fur coat, I'm gonna do it. So I do it.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: That's the only place you're gonna pull that for a
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: coat out anyway.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I would pull it out in Charlotte if
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: it gets below if there's a three in front of
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: the temperature, I'm wanna pull out a fur coat.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: You remember Vlad right, yeah? Yeah, did you?
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: He asked me to do some hosting there, so we're
• 6:03
  Speaker 6: supposed to have a conversation about me doing a little
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: hosting that Dia.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to go there.
• 6:09
  Speaker 8: And he's telling me to come to New York and
• 6:12
  Speaker 8: go and I'm like, I am just not a New
• 6:13
  Speaker 8: York girl. And it has to be warm outside. I'll
• 6:16
  Speaker 8: definitely come in April or May. I cannot do the
• 6:21
  Speaker 8: cold New York hole. And they was talking about some
• 6:24
  Speaker 8: arctic weather last week.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: Who yeah, that's what now. Yeah. But other than that,
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: it's cool. Let's get in the sands.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Let's talk about Girvanta, because that happened over the weekend
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: two here in New York at the Barclays Center. There
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: was a big fight and Givanta what's his name, Davis?
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, he took a knee during the fight. He took
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: a knee during the fight.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: And did you watch the fight?
• 6:58
  Speaker 8: I missed it because by the end of the the
• 7:00
  Speaker 8: premiretive fight was over.
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: I did not watch the fight. I was so on Saturday.
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: I was in Charlotte.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: I got back to New York on Sunday morning, so
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: I missed it. I was trying to get back in time,
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: but I had to handle business, so I couldn't get back,
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: so I did not watch it. But I saw the
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: cliff on the shade room at the end where he
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: was like his hair. Grease had come down into his
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: eyes and that's why he took a knee.
• 7:29
  Speaker 9: Thank you.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Voluntarily took a knee midway through this fight.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: It was not ruled a knockdown.
• 7:33
  Speaker 10: What happened to me, I just got my had done
• 7:36
  Speaker 10: two days ago, and she picked grease in my ship.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So the ship was like you know, like when you
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: sweating and things like that, and the grease come in
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: my face.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: It burnt my eyes.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Shit, Now, why y'all boring like I'm saying bullshit.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Like that nigga got knocked down.
• 7:52
  Speaker 8: That nigga ain't take no me hurt it.
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: I got hit.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: That nigga got to cut it out.
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: Now he stopped his nigga was hurting right. But it
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: was a draw, So they're gonna fight again. So the
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: next one, I want to go to Yeah.
• 8:14
  Speaker 8: So I saw that the hairstylace came out. It was like, boy,
• 8:16
  Speaker 8: that's some bullshit. I did your hair on Wednesday. It's Saturday.
• 8:19
  Speaker 8: Ain't no excuse for me to be slipping sliding in
• 8:21
  Speaker 8: the ring. He got knocked on his knees a little bit,
• 8:24
  Speaker 8: you know.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: He the guy who he fought.
• 8:26
  Speaker 8: They apparently grew up together. They probably grew up sparring,
• 8:30
  Speaker 8: so they they if anybody knows his techniques, is this nigga?
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's not, it's not.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: He didn't even get knocked on his mond. He took
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: a knee. You can see he took a knee, you know,
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: like Paul's hold on Paul's Wait a minute, Yeah.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: Let me gather because I just got hit hard.
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, let me gather. That's what really happened. He
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: had to gather his thoughts. Yeah, he tried to say
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: face with their hairstyle.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: Ship.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: But so it's gonna it's a draw.
• 8:59
  Speaker 8: They're gonna to do another fight and get that check
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: at period mad at it.
• 9:08
  Speaker 6: No, not that they're gonna go back to Vegas, because
• 9:10
  Speaker 6: it was in New York this time. Maybe they'll know.
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: I said, they're gonna get that check but Vegas runs
• 9:13
  Speaker 8: all sports, That's what I mean.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Oh you got that check out of Vegas. Yeah yeah,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: m hm.
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: And so I wonder how that works because when is
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: it a draw, does everybody get paid or does nobody
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: pay out? I think everybody gets paid out.
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: They still gotta make I mean, get money for doing
• 9:28
  Speaker 8: putting the show on because people still bought tickets. So
• 9:30
  Speaker 8: I don't know if they maybe get a lesser amount.
• 9:34
  Speaker 8: I don't know how that works. Mmmm mmm, maybe they
• 9:38
  Speaker 8: just finessed. They finessed the plug right quick. Saturday girl,
• 9:44
  Speaker 8: So Jennifer, Jennifer Williams, y'all remember Jennifer Williams from Basketball Wives.
• 9:51
  Speaker 8: This girl just got married to this nigga, Christian Gold. Okay,
• 9:56
  Speaker 8: I don't even believe that's his last name. And I
• 9:57
  Speaker 8: heard that she was trying to actually take on that
• 9:59
  Speaker 8: life scene too, to be Jennifer Gold. But do you
• 10:03
  Speaker 8: think she's possibly a scammer herself, because now he's in
• 10:07
  Speaker 8: the news for scamming some people in some type of
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: Ponzi scheme out of one hundred and twenty thousand dollars.
• 10:13
  Speaker 8: And the article is kind of weird because it says
• 10:16
  Speaker 8: he's violated the Georgia Rico Act. But then on the
• 10:18
  Speaker 8: other hand, it's saying that it's a class action lawsuit
• 10:22
  Speaker 8: from a group of people, so I don't know it,
• 10:25
  Speaker 8: says Christian gold aka Christian Walden, his real name is
• 10:28
  Speaker 8: again in legal hot water. This week, twenty one people
• 10:30
  Speaker 8: file a lawsuit against against Kristen in Atlanta area court
• 10:34
  Speaker 8: with multiple allegations. The various plaintiffs alleged Christen solicitated money
• 10:38
  Speaker 8: from each one of the pretense excuse me for each
• 10:42
  Speaker 8: one of them, under the pretense of an investment opportunity. However,
• 10:45
  Speaker 8: they claim Christian Field to invest their money and engage
• 10:48
  Speaker 8: in a Ponzi scheme, claiming he paid early investors with money.
• 10:51
  Speaker 8: So yeah, let me take your money. What I should
• 10:54
  Speaker 8: call people be doing in.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: A hood.
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: The susu, A susu, susue blessing, a blessing ring.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: That's what they call it in the church, but on
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: the streets they call it a susu some bullshit.
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: But this is lose.
• 11:17
  Speaker 8: Yeah, the people who usually come in on the back
• 11:20
  Speaker 8: end are usually the ones that's gonna lose. If you
• 11:22
  Speaker 8: started it, you're gonna get paid first, but you're getting
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: paid from the people at the bottom, the people you
• 11:26
  Speaker 8: bring in, you know.
• 11:29
  Speaker 6: So the only way is that it only works is
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: if it keeps going forever. But it don't. As soon
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: as it stopped, somebody's gonna take a l exactly.
• 11:41
  Speaker 8: So they say he took money from one hundred and
• 11:43
  Speaker 8: fifty victims from around the country. This is her second
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: sad scammer that we know of that has you know,
• 11:51
  Speaker 8: sweetye pie. What's the dude she was engaged to. He's
• 11:55
  Speaker 8: in prison now for life, I believe for having his
• 11:59
  Speaker 8: nephew murdered. Mm hmm, f insurance fraud. She just yeah,
• 12:05
  Speaker 8: I believe so, or maybe they just they were dating
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: for a while. She got scammed by him too, I believe.
• 12:11
  Speaker 8: So is she a part of the scams or you
• 12:13
  Speaker 8: just like scamming as niggas? And this dude is thirty
• 12:15
  Speaker 8: one years old. I think she's at least fifty eight
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: forty eight to fifty. Will say, you never know what
• 12:22
  Speaker 8: these people on Google, but girl, what are you doing?
• 12:25
  Speaker 8: And I remember seeing like some videos online and I
• 12:30
  Speaker 8: think it was Evelyn was like afraid to you know,
• 12:34
  Speaker 8: address her by her man. You know what I'm saying,
• 12:36
  Speaker 8: Like this does he really have money? Is he gonna
• 12:39
  Speaker 8: be able to take care of you? Just like on
• 12:40
  Speaker 8: some real life concerned friendship. Well, you know your friend
• 12:43
  Speaker 8: is an habitual dumb bitch, right, just be letting men
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: take advantage of them. And it's like you want to
• 12:49
  Speaker 8: try and intervene in some because you love them, right,
• 12:53
  Speaker 8: but it just keeps happening, like you attracting these people.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: I ain't got no judge of Jerry for Jennifer because
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: I listen. It's so so hard out here. I hear
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: so many stories of women dating people who they thought
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: they were somebody and they turned out there was somebody else.
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: So I don't know, you know, she might just be
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: getting finissed.
• 13:10
  Speaker 8: Do you think googling is now a part of dating,
• 13:13
  Speaker 8: Like when you meet somebody like you start googling them
• 13:15
  Speaker 8: to see who they are, like what you can find
• 13:18
  Speaker 8: on them.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, I think that should be a part of the process.
• 13:22
  Speaker 8: I'm not gonna tell you I googled your ass, but
• 13:25
  Speaker 8: I'm already know a lot of shit about you.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: I have some friends.
• 13:28
  Speaker 8: Who will be dating these people that they say are
• 13:31
  Speaker 8: celebrities or this person was drafted this place and that,
• 13:34
  Speaker 8: and I'm googling them, and I'm like, that nigga never
• 13:37
  Speaker 8: played in the NFL. The nigga never did none of
• 13:40
  Speaker 8: the things that my friend is telling me he's doing.
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: And I just don't say nothing. I just wait right
• 13:46
  Speaker 8: figure it out, because it's like you haven't done your
• 13:49
  Speaker 8: due diligence. You just going off of what this nigga
• 13:51
  Speaker 8: is telling you.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I'm not daging my place. On several occasions, girl.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: I saw this because if I took the time to
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: look it up, I'm gonna take the time to tell you, bitch, look,
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: look what did this say.
• 14:08
  Speaker 6: Let's say he is.
• 14:11
  Speaker 8: No because people might call you a hater, you know
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: what I'm saying. But and it has to be something
• 14:17
  Speaker 8: that the person says right. That kind of triggers me
• 14:20
  Speaker 8: even to do this like that don't even sound right?
• 14:22
  Speaker 8: Why it sound right to her?
• 14:24
  Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: So if it sounds right to her, I don't want
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: to be.
• 14:27
  Speaker 8: The one to burst the bubble. I'll just let her
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: find out on her own. And I'm saying her, but
• 14:33
  Speaker 8: it's actually plural.
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: Well, I guess it depends on them because you have
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: to be careful with telling people about their relationship.
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: You really do. So it just depends on how close
• 14:43
  Speaker 6: I am to this person.
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and see that's what I was saying on that
• 14:46
  Speaker 8: clip I saw with Jennifer Williams. She was very defensive
• 14:49
  Speaker 8: when her girlfriends was trying to, like, you know, making
• 14:52
  Speaker 8: sure she's making the best decision for her. Like I
• 14:54
  Speaker 8: guess she felt like none of them were really in
• 14:56
  Speaker 8: a position to question her about her relationship when all
• 14:59
  Speaker 8: of them that like kind of fucked up relationships, but
• 15:01
  Speaker 8: none of them landed them in jail.
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: But you know what, I think Jennifer Williams, based on
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: how she presented on the show, would lead people to
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: believe that she is a woman who likes the finer
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: things and men who have disposable income. So she probably
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: attracts the type of men who get Men who scam
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: for money are more free with their money Okay, yes,
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: because they didn't have to work for it, right, So
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: she's probably attracting these types of men who can spend
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: previously and she likes that, you know, so that's how
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: she end up with these scammers.
• 15:38
  Speaker 8: But just say you like scammers so your friends can
• 15:40
  Speaker 8: shut the fuck up. Like I like white collar crime
• 15:43
  Speaker 8: a little bit like I like.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I don't don't believe do these things?
• 15:49
  Speaker 8: Those are smart men, Like who could figure out how
• 15:52
  Speaker 8: to get a million dollars.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Off the computer? Like yeah, I don't think, not saying
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: let's do it.
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: But I don't think she likes scammers.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: I think she likes being spoiled, and samers can spoil
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: in a way that the average American is not.
• 16:09
  Speaker 10: You know, what was.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: That that popped the balloon?
• 16:13
  Speaker 8: Did you see that video with a pop the balloon
• 16:15
  Speaker 8: video where it was a doctor and then this guy
• 16:17
  Speaker 8: with all the big jewelry on who be hopping off
• 16:19
  Speaker 8: the low ass fucking jet not even no real private
• 16:23
  Speaker 8: plane he'd be on like helicopters and ship hopping off.
• 16:27
  Speaker 8: But he basically was like how much money you make?
• 16:30
  Speaker 8: The doctor is like, we're not about to like compare
• 16:33
  Speaker 8: my my my money to your illegal money, like fads,
• 16:37
  Speaker 8: We're all at.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: His money is illegal. That's a stereotype too. We don't
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: know that he might just be flashy.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: I don't think so. No, he looks like can scammers
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: have a look?
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: You know? Yeah?
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: But I mean I know, uh, doctors who were chain
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: when they off work, you.
• 17:03
  Speaker 8: Know, big ones like big name plates and.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: The spikes on them.
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: They at heart, but they got an education.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know know who doctors, I'm honest. No, No,
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: they don't know nigga. Mm hmmm.
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well they are. They're some out there that are
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: really hood. You don't know any professionals that are super hood,
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: but they're professional.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah me, good body.
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: But yeah, Jennifer, we hope you find love that last without.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Court and having to send canteen money and all that ship.
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, man, we hope that.
• 17:53
  Speaker 8: I hope that for everybody listening. Honestly, I don't think
• 17:56
  Speaker 8: they're actually married yet. If they're if they aren't married yet,
• 17:59
  Speaker 8: she might want to slow.
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: Down on that thirty one. He's young too.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: No, they married.
• 18:08
  Speaker 8: Last caught him in Europe on Jennifer's ig account. He
• 18:12
  Speaker 8: had to serve time in the cal County jail, but
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: ultimately was allowed to leave the country for their wedding
• 18:17
  Speaker 8: in Paris, France. So yeah, he's on probation, still scamming people,
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: and they did get married.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Now, Jennifer, I don't know, baby, sound like sounds like
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: you might be in on the heist.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: But we still love you either way, all right.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: So AJ sent me this video over the Weekend where
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: this podcaster was asked, if you're spousing your child getting
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: knocked off a boat in the middle of the ocean
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: and they are incapacitated, you can only save one and
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: the other will not make it. Who will you save?
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: And this uh woman she chose to save her husband
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: over the child. She said, you know that would be
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: a hard decision, and she would be upset about it,
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: and it would be devastating, and she would grieve the child.
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: But ultimately she's going to choose her partner over this
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: child because they can make another child she can't get.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: She would not be able to get her partner. But
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: and she's still firming that decision, and that is her decision.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Think that's the only part of the decision.
• 19:23
  Speaker 8: I respected that she stayed firmanent and if she said
• 19:26
  Speaker 8: if anybody asked her about it, she was like, yeah,
• 19:28
  Speaker 8: I chose my husband. I don't know why anybody would
• 19:30
  Speaker 8: ask that, you know, unless you told them, hey, I
• 19:32
  Speaker 8: let my kid drown. But I just don't see somebody
• 19:37
  Speaker 8: like in the midst of that actually happening, Like a mom,
• 19:40
  Speaker 8: you carry.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: This baby, you birthed this baby.
• 19:43
  Speaker 8: There's a bond that a mother and a child has
• 19:45
  Speaker 8: that a man and a woman probably would never have,
• 19:48
  Speaker 8: you know what I'm saying. I don't think men bond
• 19:50
  Speaker 8: with their children as much as women do. So I
• 19:52
  Speaker 8: can't imagine, like actually being in it and outside of
• 19:55
  Speaker 8: a podcast sofa, that you would be in the middle
• 19:58
  Speaker 8: of the ocean and you see your husband, this big
• 20:02
  Speaker 8: ass man, right, and your baby that you can easily save, right,
• 20:07
  Speaker 8: your child, a small child. I just don't see you
• 20:09
  Speaker 8: going after your husband. You know, if anything, you're gonna
• 20:13
  Speaker 8: fuck run and drown trying to save both of them. Right,
• 20:16
  Speaker 8: But just to like consciously say I can just make
• 20:18
  Speaker 8: other kids. You don't know that, right, you know, So
• 20:22
  Speaker 8: in that moment, I really just don't think that would
• 20:25
  Speaker 8: be her decision.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: And I don't even think she's a mom.
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: I think it, well, we ain't moms, but you know, but.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: I have this now, some people are moms with without kids.
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: I think it sounds in her head because she has
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: maybe she has a man that she loves and she
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: already knows that love, and she don't know a love
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: for this imaginary child. So if the answer was easy
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: in her head, but I think in the thick of it,
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: she probably would choose her child. Almost I would choose
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: anybody's child.
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: Honestly.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: If I saw a baby, said yeah, I saw like
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: my instinct would be to save this little helpless human
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: just instantly.
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: I don't know. Wow.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: So a man sent me that.
• 21:06
  Speaker 8: A man sent that to me, and his message with
• 21:09
  Speaker 8: the video was, uh, I want that and a wife.
• 21:16
  Speaker 8: He basically saying that's what he would want his wife
• 21:18
  Speaker 8: to do, like he would want his wife to think
• 21:20
  Speaker 8: like this woman. And I said, absolutely not. I said,
• 21:23
  Speaker 8: I feel like she's pandering to men. And I said,
• 21:26
  Speaker 8: I'm not a mam yet, but I'm saving kids before
• 21:29
  Speaker 8: any adult. If I see a kid drowning and it's
• 21:32
  Speaker 8: like some adults in trouble too, I'm gonna go save
• 21:34
  Speaker 8: the kids. I think that most adults would probably just
• 21:36
  Speaker 8: want you to get the kids. You know, they are
• 21:38
  Speaker 8: the future. I said, they are the world. They are
• 21:41
  Speaker 8: the future. Like your lineage are go on through your
• 21:44
  Speaker 8: through your kids. Also, you won't have to make another one.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Just save save your kid.
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah. I'm just trying to think.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Like if I was in the ocean and it was like, uh,
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: somebody's baby, I don't know this, Uh, like a seven
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: year old little white boy drowning over on one side
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: and my sister next to me drowning.
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: Who would I save? I don't know. I might say
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: my sister. I don't know, I don't know.
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: My instinct would be to grab my sister. I think
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: it might be to grab my sister before this stranger's kid.
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: If we're like, honestly, if I'm being quite honest, in
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: that scenario, would I think to go over and say
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: this child that I don't know versus my sister right
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: next to me. My instinct with all the because I
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: love her, you know, I.
• 22:42
  Speaker 8: Have a connection with her, and that's what I'm saying
• 22:44
  Speaker 8: about the child, So I would understand that in that moment.
• 22:48
  Speaker 8: But we add in all these we keep pushing the
• 22:51
  Speaker 8: envelope with the.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Changing because I'm like, of course I'm going for my sister.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I said any child, it would be to
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: save any child first, But that's not true.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Depending on what.
• 23:03
  Speaker 8: Okay, I'll save any child depending on what adult was
• 23:05
  Speaker 8: out there. If it's my mama and the child, then
• 23:08
  Speaker 8: you had a child might have to die if I
• 23:10
  Speaker 8: don't know the kid, right, but we're talking about your
• 23:13
  Speaker 8: own kid.
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that pushed out of your vagina.
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but now they have that conversation about, uh, who
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: gets to eat first at the table, and people will
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: be like, oh, my husband, my man eats before the kids.
• 23:28
  Speaker 8: That's how I agree, that's how I yeah, that's how
• 23:32
  Speaker 8: I steak plate before us first.
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: Everybody this. And it is only a couple of moments
• 23:37
  Speaker 6: that you're gonna wait on your plate.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: It's not like he gets to eat and y'all gonna
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: eat tomorrow. No, we're eating all together.
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: He just is surf first, because this is he's the king.
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: Of this castle right here, and he bought the steak,
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: and he provides, and he provides, right. So, but some
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: people be like, why wouldn't you feed your kids first?
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: They need sustenance.
• 23:56
  Speaker 9: Because they ain't fucking drowning and they ain't in here,
• 24:01
  Speaker 9: and they ain't they gonna die in five minutes me
• 24:05
  Speaker 9: feeding their father first, you know what I'm saying. I
• 24:07
  Speaker 9: don't even understand why that's even a discussion. It's like
• 24:10
  Speaker 9: black people be making up the weirdest ass scenarios to
• 24:13
  Speaker 9: kind of pin women and men against.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: Each other, Like why is that even a discussion? Whatever
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: y'all do in y'all house, like your husband might make
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: a plate for the kids first. You know what I'm saying.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: It's not that he doesn't think his wife should eat first,
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 24:27
  Speaker 8: But you niggas who'll be doing that boyfriend, the broke
• 24:31
  Speaker 8: boyfriend hug standing behind the girl while she at the
• 24:35
  Speaker 8: grocery store pulling out her debit card. You the niggas
• 24:37
  Speaker 8: who'll be screaming, y'all want y'all plate before the churn,
• 24:40
  Speaker 8: Ain't it?
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: That's so funny because I.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: Will, I told y'all, went to that spot Triney City.
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: He came and picked me up in the airport, right,
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: so I was like, I'll treat you know, I got it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: It was nineteen dollars for both of our food, and
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: when I was paying for it, he's stood behind me
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: and held out to.
• 25:03
  Speaker 8: I just saw a post about it. That's why it
• 25:05
  Speaker 8: was on the tip of my brain. It was like
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: an Asian guy talked about He was like, it's this
• 25:08
  Speaker 8: trend on social media, like they got all these visual
• 25:11
  Speaker 8: images of man's and they all look straggling setting behind
• 25:15
  Speaker 8: these women going in their pocketbook. And the thing is
• 25:17
  Speaker 8: is that the psychology behind that is you trying to
• 25:21
  Speaker 8: like First of all, you're it's almost like when you're
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: trying to teach a child, like to do something good,
• 25:28
  Speaker 8: So like you're giving this affection while she is conditioning.
• 25:31
  Speaker 8: And then the other part of it is like you're
• 25:33
  Speaker 8: guarding other men, like from not coming in and taking
• 25:37
  Speaker 8: your money. Just all up behind her, and shit, I'm
• 25:43
  Speaker 8: be like that with them all man at the fucking ATM,
• 25:46
  Speaker 8: go ahead, rubbing his back. Come on, baby, right, we
• 25:50
  Speaker 8: got niggas at the ATM. Think big, bitch them niggas.
• 25:55
  Speaker 6: You think you're tall, right, you just got a little doubles.
• 25:59
  Speaker 6: I got.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: I was about to say, speaking of oh no, we
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: gotta I meant to mention Angie Stone passed away over
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: the weekend. Yeah, yeah, that ship was so you know what,
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: You just gotta be grateful for every day, tell people
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: you love them, and counter your blessings because you never know.
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: There is a uh invisible clock on all of us.
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: You just don't know when your number is up. But
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: I you know, I saw that she like I didn't
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: know this about her, but she was in a rap
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: group called the Sequence and they were like the first
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: rap female yeah in South Carolina, and all these all
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: these histories of hip hop that I've seen and why
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: arched and read, and they have never been mentioned I've seen.
• 27:03
  Speaker 8: I thought I saw like a video on it recently.
• 27:06
  Speaker 8: It probably popped back up because of her passing. But
• 27:09
  Speaker 8: I saw that a while ago on Instagram about the
• 27:12
  Speaker 8: group the sequence.
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but they don't their birthdays, the ages. Yeah, they
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: never got the recognition that they deserved. So that's crazy
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: to find out that that was part. She's a hip
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: hop historian and a hip hop legend, and I didn't
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: know that because when I think of Angie stone I
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: think of black Brother, Strong Brother. I was listening to
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: it in the shower.
• 27:40
  Speaker 6: We Love Rest in Peace in South Carolina.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I love Angie Stone Man.
• 27:46
  Speaker 8: That was so like when I see stuff like that,
• 27:47
  Speaker 8: I'm like, damn man, Like you really don't know your time.
• 27:50
  Speaker 8: That's why every day, from the time my feet hit
• 27:53
  Speaker 8: the floor, I'm saying thank.
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: You, gratitude, thank you, the attitude, thank you. Every moment.
• 27:58
  Speaker 8: I say thank you at lista the times a day.
• 28:00
  Speaker 8: If it's not to a person, it's to myself all
• 28:03
  Speaker 8: day long.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Just be grateful, be thankful, getting up having another chance
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: to do all the things.
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: And be kind, especially if y'all from New York listening
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: to this, are y'all okay?
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: Here are you niggas well?
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: Why? Why are you smiling? I was like, I'm happy.
• 28:27
  Speaker 8: He got in an argument with a nigga on clubhouse
• 28:30
  Speaker 8: once because I said, I'm from the South. Like when
• 28:32
  Speaker 8: I see when I see black people, especially I say hi,
• 28:37
  Speaker 8: I want them to know I recognized and acknowledge them.
• 28:39
  Speaker 8: I see you, hi, man or woman? Why do what
• 28:43
  Speaker 8: the fuck you just talking to strangers? Just talking to like,
• 28:46
  Speaker 8: y'all cold, that's the problem, y'all. Nigga's cold with no colt.
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: Why y'all so mad up there that y'all don't speak
• 28:54
  Speaker 8: to each other?
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, be kind? And then they was like, stop peaking
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: speaking to people. It's dangerous. I know. I'm just gonna
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: be myself. I'm covered in the blood of Jesus. I'm pretecting.
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: I don't never worry about it, and I'm not going
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: to carry that energy. I'm gonna be who I am
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: everywhere I go, and who I am is polite and
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: kind to people. I like to say hi, I like
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: to smile. I'm joyous. So except on that train, though,
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: I adopt I I ain't looking at nobody, smiling at
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: nobody on that motherfucker.
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: I'll be looking at my phone just like everybody else.
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: Scared this mother fuck on that three train.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: You better carry a knife like you in London.
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: I had a pistol up there, baby. That man on
• 29:41
  Speaker 6: that first ride on that train, that man stood over
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: me talking about.
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: I can balance your chokras wall a dollar seventy five
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: cents right now?
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: Got please? Y'all ever noticed this voice can me be
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: putting on that ship?
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: Is fucking crazy? Man?
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: Why everybody can't possibly have that same voice? Nigga?
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: Who we got on to day? Girl?
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: We have the Black Dads podcasts right.
• 30:22
  Speaker 6: Yes, absolutely talking fatherhood and.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Love, amazing black men, Okay, and you.
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: Know divorce one still married.
• 30:31
  Speaker 8: I feel like, you know, their podcast is very necessary.
• 30:34
  Speaker 8: I wish they would do more than just a podcast.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: With it.
• 30:39
  Speaker 8: I suggested, we need to do more than just a
• 30:41
  Speaker 8: podcast with it. Well what they should with our ship? No,
• 30:47
  Speaker 8: but I mean like they can really like they can
• 30:51
  Speaker 8: really do some ship with black dads, you know what
• 30:53
  Speaker 8: I'm saying, Like, yeah, we could do some ship with bitches.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: We talk back, Hey, hey, hey, hey, talk back.
• 31:02
  Speaker 8: We're gonna have a whole conference with a bunch of
• 31:04
  Speaker 8: bitches who be talking back ins and whoever.
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: Knowstens or not just bitches, it's men who also enjoyed
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: the conversation.
• 31:15
  Speaker 8: Yeah, so I think they need to do like a
• 31:18
  Speaker 8: little nonprofit something, just do like a golf day with
• 31:22
  Speaker 8: the dads something like that. They were that shit is lit.
• 31:26
  Speaker 8: I love uh, I love the Black Dads Podcast.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm here for it too.
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: So y'all stay tuned. We got them coming up.
• 31:39
  Speaker 8: Welcome to we talk Back where we have conversations that
• 31:44
  Speaker 8: matter apparently. Okay, so today we're diving into the topic
• 31:49
  Speaker 8: of black fatherhood. It's a subject full of love, responsibility,
• 31:55
  Speaker 8: and unfortunately a lot of stereotypes. Okay, So we have
• 31:59
  Speaker 8: the Black Dad's Club podcast here and Charlotte and we
• 32:03
  Speaker 8: talked back today.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having us.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: Happy to be here.
• 32:08
  Speaker 8: Introduce yourself, sir, our audience always I guess, introduce yourself, audience.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: My name is Gavin B. I'm from Charlotte. I'm a photographer.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I'm a dad. My boy dad. He whipping my ass
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: every day.
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: Your son three three?
• 32:23
  Speaker 7: You got a new baby?
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: What about you?
• 32:31
  Speaker 10: I am pastor Mike Will. I am also a father,
• 32:35
  Speaker 10: gav a longtime friend.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: I guess I call that.
• 32:39
  Speaker 11: Oh gosh, I did you say pastor will past the
• 32:45
  Speaker 11: will past the mic or pastor.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: My past I have a congregation.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: Okay, so you're a holy man, Yes I am.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you?
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 32:58
  Speaker 7: Who are you?
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: Where are you?
• 32:59
  Speaker 10: Kind of get My congregation is all the productive black
• 33:03
  Speaker 10: men that.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: Exists out there.
• 33:04
  Speaker 6: That is, you know, you have a church.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: That's my that's my church. The podcast is his church podcast.
• 33:10
  Speaker 6: Okay, so you're not. You don't need around you that's all,
• 33:17
  Speaker 6: you know, like because if you were fastor you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: I will.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: You could talk that way around pastor though you.
• 33:25
  Speaker 7: Know, you know I have to have like from Atlanta. Yes,
• 33:29
  Speaker 7: I'm not going to say that.
• 33:29
  Speaker 6: I'm just gonna you.
• 33:30
  Speaker 10: Know, no, no, no, I'm like, I'm not like a
• 33:32
  Speaker 10: real church pastor. Believe that I do not have a church.
• 33:35
  Speaker 10: Do not show up anywhere on Sunday.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: Looking for me?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: So are you a Samulite Samular?
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: What's that say?
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: More Sammy recipes to Kevin?
• 33:47
  Speaker 10: Oh no, obviously not, because yeah I didn't. I didn't
• 33:51
  Speaker 10: know what that was, but I did, like I did
• 33:53
  Speaker 10: like his clips he is he has missed. I missed him.
• 33:55
  Speaker 10: I missed him on YouTube, like I miss all them clips.
• 33:58
  Speaker 10: They'll be funny, they'd be funny Meyer you no, no,
• 34:02
  Speaker 10: so I hear.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: Here's that. I know all these guys, right, Okay, I
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: know of all these just making sure.
• 34:07
  Speaker 10: But I'm not I'm not red pill. Okay, right, I'm
• 34:11
  Speaker 10: not red pill. Now I'm also not a cook. So
• 34:15
  Speaker 10: it's you know, I'm right there in the middle. As
• 34:18
  Speaker 10: I always say on the pod, everybody gets all their credit.
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: Okay, you're using a lot of words. I do not
• 34:23
  Speaker 6: know a cook.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: I know you've seen that that that never heard of
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: on the pornhub.
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: I don't.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: It's like a white man next to the dick and
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: is going and his wife isn't that like that?
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: That's part of that part of the pornole doesn't exist
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: in Charlotte, right, Or it's she ain't got.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: A VP and it's cool though it shtill get the
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: ex videos.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Now you can get on pornhum.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: You just need yeah, tell me later.
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: So how do you guys know each other?
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: You want the truth?
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead and tell the truth.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: The truth is Mike new My mom knew Mike before
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: he was born. My mom is like fifteen years older
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: than Mike, so it's through church and so she knew Mike.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: So Mike knew me before I was born. But we
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: didn't get close to I don't know. I told you
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: it's alone.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: We all grew up together, mama before you was born.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, my mom was at a church, so Mike was born,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: so I.
• 35:20
  Speaker 10: Knew gay parents, like gay Dady to shoot ball, I
• 35:22
  Speaker 10: did a little young dude that to get on the court.
• 35:25
  Speaker 10: So I remember Gav being a little two old running
• 35:28
  Speaker 10: around basically, but we met because him and my brother
• 35:31
  Speaker 10: is the same age, so they are really good friends.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: Okay, so double a.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: He was like, you gotta meet my brother and I
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: was like, all right, whatever, we'll see how this goes.
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: You did explain that good, because I was about to say,
• 35:40
  Speaker 6: are you.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: And his dad?
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: How long do you think I am?
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: I don't know, but it was the way I described
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: it was like, Mike, no, my mama, yeah, fifteen.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Years older than you too, is yeah, I'm thirty five,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Well he's years yeah, so yeah, okay, but yeah, that's
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: how we know it through church, and but we just
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: been It's funny though, because I get to always say
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: like I was a baby, didn't know Mike existed, but
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: he knew I existed. And then his brother was like, yo,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I want you to meet my brother and we've been
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: rocking every since. That had to be like oh nine
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: something like that.
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: Nice.
• 36:14
  Speaker 10: Yeah, y'all was I think like when y'all turned like
• 36:16
  Speaker 10: twenty one, I started bringing you boys out.
• 36:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:18
  Speaker 8: So how did y'all come up with the podcast question?
• 36:22
  Speaker 8: Which I think is very very.
• 36:25
  Speaker 10: Need Well, well, I mean we we started out so
• 36:28
  Speaker 10: Gaff Gaff had a podcast and like Gavin, my brother
• 36:31
  Speaker 10: had a podcast. He's like, oh, you should come on,
• 36:33
  Speaker 10: you come on, come on, right, Gavin is an early
• 36:35
  Speaker 10: adopter the podcast. So finally we had one, and we
• 36:39
  Speaker 10: just had really good chemistry on the podcast. So we
• 36:41
  Speaker 10: started a podcast. Yeah, it sucked, trash, but it taught
• 36:46
  Speaker 10: us a lot. And then eventually, you know, we it
• 36:48
  Speaker 10: was it was so bad that we was going to
• 36:50
  Speaker 10: quit absolutely, and I was like, well, I said, we
• 36:52
  Speaker 10: got great chemistry on the mic, so I was like,
• 36:54
  Speaker 10: let's not quit, Like, let's figure it out.
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: So we took the time off and it just so happened.
• 36:58
  Speaker 10: He ended up becoming a father and I was just like, huh,
• 37:02
  Speaker 10: I wanted this U Ril is available and it was
• 37:04
  Speaker 10: and I was just like, what do you think about this?
• 37:06
  Speaker 10: Same it was going through names and then he was
• 37:07
  Speaker 10: like that's the one. And then after that we pivoted.
• 37:10
  Speaker 10: So it's kind of cool because we're able to track,
• 37:12
  Speaker 10: you know, where we've been through the birth of his son,
• 37:15
  Speaker 10: because that's literally when it changed.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, cause I came back. So I took like three
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: months off of photography podcasting, and we love to tell
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: people now like I literally told my wife, I'm like, Yo,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: when I get back, I'm just telling like this this
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: ship is done, Like I'm done, I'm out. And so we.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: Got his wife he did tell me it was done.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then when we got back that shit was
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: so bad and so but the funny part when got back,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: he was like his first question on the pot was like, Yo,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: how's life being, And I go, it's so much shit.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Y'all did not tell me about being a dad, Like
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: this is crazy, And so we went through that and
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: then there was the response was just super cool and
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: like he said, he looked up the name. He was like, Yo,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: let's do this every every week now. And so now
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: podcast has changed. We talk about parenting sometimes, but it's
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: my sleep just shipped that black dass like love and
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: care about exactly.
• 38:03
  Speaker 8: It's something that men talk some things that men talk
• 38:06
  Speaker 8: about being a barber shop.
• 38:08
  Speaker 7: So what's some things that black men care about?
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Sports? Okay, women women, but that's low on the list.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: It's I think women think we high high on the
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: list of coming in there talking about women. But that'll
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: be like we usually you going to you're gonna argue
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: about sports for like the whole time you there.
• 38:24
  Speaker 10: Sports and then like you know how you view things right, Like,
• 38:27
  Speaker 10: so men have a lot of life conversations. Yeah, like
• 38:31
  Speaker 10: I don't think like no time, we probably don't have
• 38:32
  Speaker 10: a life conversation just if we're shooting basketball. But like
• 38:36
  Speaker 10: if men are just sitting around, it's like, man, let
• 38:38
  Speaker 10: me tell you what I'm dealing with. You know, men,
• 38:41
  Speaker 10: men have those conversations. It's just that men don't judge
• 38:44
  Speaker 10: one another, so we'll.
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: Listen to it. And definitely, no, no, we really really
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: don't because it's like.
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: Y'all need to judge each other. Though.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: If a man does not ask for advice, we listen.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: We listen. There you go, you know, he says.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: That if you have a guy that comes to you
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: and says like, man, I really don't give a fuck
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: about them kids. Man, I don't be over there. Man
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: that my baby mama get on my fucking nerves. Man,
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: she drives me crazy. I ain't going over there.
• 39:12
  Speaker 10: That conversation doesn't happen after what college sophomore year. At college,
• 39:16
  Speaker 10: men separate, men self segregate from dudes who ain't ship
• 39:20
  Speaker 10: and like men who are gonna be productive. So it's
• 39:22
  Speaker 10: hard to it's hard to have that kind of conversation
• 39:24
  Speaker 10: with the man unless you related to him, because we
• 39:26
  Speaker 10: really don't see one another.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: We're not in the same place together. Yeah, just not.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: We don't even be at the same barbershop.
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: No, we don't.
• 39:35
  Speaker 7: You got no futures in y'all circle.
• 39:37
  Speaker 10: No, I have a cousin that went kind of ham
• 39:40
  Speaker 10: but it was like literally a cousin. And to that point, though,
• 39:43
  Speaker 10: like he and I stopped hanging out like mid twenties,
• 39:45
  Speaker 10: like we grew up together, probably mid twenties. Just like man,
• 39:48
  Speaker 10: our lives are heading in two different trajectory.
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: Just this and.
• 39:53
  Speaker 7: Gibody curiously through future.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Absolutely good guy.
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: So you said that there were things that you know,
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: nobody told you. What are myths about black fathers that
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: like that people would believe?
• 40:05
  Speaker 6: But that's not true.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Oh myths? Oh, I thought you was gonna ask something else. Yo,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: it has to be that we really are active. Like
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: every dad that I know, even the dads who do
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: not spend enough time with their kids. Right, every dad
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I know love their kids. I really don't run into
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: people like yof them kids like we'll come together and say, Yo,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: my kid get on my nerves. I gotta do this
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: like my boys three. So it's only but so much
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: nerves he can get on because he's learned. Like one thing,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: all right, I talk too much. My mom I grew up.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: She said I talked too much all My teacher said
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: that my son does not stop talking, damn. And so
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: his mom is in Cabo this week and literally at
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: six thirty I heard him in there singing, and I
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: was just like, yo, it's go time, like he ready
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: and so like. But I enjoy it. So when he
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: tells me, like dad, you and me to stop talking.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I feel bad. He asked you, ask if you yeah,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: because I'd be like, yo, you gotta relact. I can't hear.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: I can't think. I can't hear my thoughts. So I think,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: you know, I think a lot of people. First of all,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people think that we just
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: got kids everywhere, and that's just not the case. That's
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: one thing, like men just don't have kids all over
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: the place. You do have like that ten percent, but
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: that don't represent.
• 41:15
  Speaker 8: Like the whole talking about On our recent episode, we
• 41:18
  Speaker 8: talked about how black men like to say that women
• 41:21
  Speaker 8: black women are having babies by the ten percent of men.
• 41:25
  Speaker 8: So these same men have multiple, multiple fertility partners.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so that's the stat and so it's funny.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: But everybody I know, you know, Mike, talk about separating,
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: like y'all, I only hang around dads that's like full
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: time fathers. I don't hang around dads who not with
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: their kids like it just and it's just the reason
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: why is because I know it's going to make you
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: feel bad when you come around and my kid is
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: going to be right there with me. Like I got
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: a meeting later a go, and I told you this,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I gotta go pick up my kid, and then I
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: got to go to a meeting and he coming with
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: me to that meeting, it's like, but that's just what
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: type of time I'm on.
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: Who's gonna talk?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And the girl was like, yo, because I have
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: a meeting with a model. And she was just like,
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I guess it's gonna be my birth control for this week.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, because he gonna talk.
• 42:11
  Speaker 8: So yeah, I had an article and I'm sitting there
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: trying to find No, the article is actually speaking to
• 42:18
  Speaker 8: what you're saying that it is a myth that black
• 42:22
  Speaker 8: men aren't present in the kids lives because what they're
• 42:25
  Speaker 8: looking at is the single mom statistic, like the unweed moms.
• 42:30
  Speaker 8: So the black men may not be married, but they
• 42:32
  Speaker 8: are actively in their children's lives more than uh their
• 42:37
  Speaker 8: you know, white town of Parts or Hispanics.
• 42:40
  Speaker 10: It's not even close. It's not even close. I mean,
• 42:42
  Speaker 10: and we should be married. But I mean that's a
• 42:44
  Speaker 10: culture issue, right, that's a different conversation. I'm like, why
• 42:46
  Speaker 10: that's not happening.
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: But yeah, men men are very active.
• 42:50
  Speaker 10: Like even when when I you know, listen to a
• 42:52
  Speaker 10: lady that say, okay, i'm a single mom, and you be.
• 42:55
  Speaker 7: Like, you're a mom that's single.
• 42:56
  Speaker 10: You're not a single mom that that kid can go
• 42:58
  Speaker 10: to their father see their father whenever they want.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: And a lot of what goes on, you know, is
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: leverage play. You know.
• 43:05
  Speaker 10: It's like, Yo, if you wanted more help, you could
• 43:08
  Speaker 10: ask for more help, right, But if you don't ask
• 43:10
  Speaker 10: for more help, most of the time it's going to
• 43:12
  Speaker 10: be what's court order. But you can always like you
• 43:15
  Speaker 10: have another parent there, you can always ask for help
• 43:17
  Speaker 10: for another parent.
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: Who else? Who else are you supposed to ask for
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: help from?
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, But sometimes that's not the case. Sometimes I know
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: women who need more help and just can't get more help.
• 43:26
  Speaker 8: And then I also know women not personally, but like
• 43:30
  Speaker 8: through the men or through the other women in the
• 43:32
  Speaker 8: relationships having to deal with that woman and how hard
• 43:35
  Speaker 8: she's making it for him the parent.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like, girl, you do not
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: want to be around your kid that much.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: Damn child, That's what And that's what I say.
• 43:44
  Speaker 10: I always tell them, like, yo, everybody else, get some
• 43:48
  Speaker 10: time getting like you. Women need that time away from
• 43:51
  Speaker 10: their children. I hate when I don't see it. Like
• 43:53
  Speaker 10: one of the first things that I noticed, I'm divorced,
• 43:56
  Speaker 10: So one of the first things that I noticed is
• 43:57
  Speaker 10: that once we got our custody order, in place. Is
• 44:00
  Speaker 10: is how tired I was when I dropped my kid
• 44:02
  Speaker 10: off and also when I would pick my kid up,
• 44:04
  Speaker 10: how tired she was. Right, So that made sure that
• 44:07
  Speaker 10: I was like, Yo, I can't I can't miss a week,
• 44:09
  Speaker 10: you know what I'm saying. I can't be late because
• 44:11
  Speaker 10: she's exhausted, and that's going to play out and how
• 44:14
  Speaker 10: my child is raised. So if you care about your kid,
• 44:16
  Speaker 10: you got to go get your kid.
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: Well that's called empathy, you know, and people's.
• 44:20
  Speaker 8: Emotional intelligence to actually consider how somebody else is feeling.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:24
  Speaker 10: Absolutely, But it came from the love for my child though, right,
• 44:27
  Speaker 10: you know what I'm saying, Like we was deefing at
• 44:28
  Speaker 10: the time. We were not friends, let's be clear, right,
• 44:32
  Speaker 10: But it was like, Yo, if she's tired though, right, Like,
• 44:34
  Speaker 10: how is that playing out in my child?
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 44:37
  Speaker 10: So it was like, you know, we just got finished,
• 44:39
  Speaker 10: so I already know how she is, right, you know.
• 44:41
  Speaker 10: So it was like, yo, let me, let me let
• 44:43
  Speaker 10: me take that from you. I think a lot of
• 44:46
  Speaker 10: men don't understand that because I think there is.
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: This image of this.
• 44:49
  Speaker 10: You know, I'm a strong black woman, right, and I
• 44:52
  Speaker 10: got it and it's easy to believe that if you've
• 44:55
  Speaker 10: never really had a conversation, or if you're not surrounded
• 44:58
  Speaker 10: by women that you care about, not women that you know, right,
• 45:00
  Speaker 10: women that you care about. So when when they're suffering,
• 45:03
  Speaker 10: you're like, man, I wish I could do something, but
• 45:06
  Speaker 10: I can't. Right, But when you can do something, you
• 45:08
  Speaker 10: will see, Okay, see.
• 45:11
  Speaker 7: Do you think that?
• 45:12
  Speaker 8: I think a lot of No, do you think? Let
• 45:14
  Speaker 8: me ask pull it as a question. I remember seeing
• 45:17
  Speaker 8: his video recently with this guy he had his I
• 45:19
  Speaker 8: guess the kid's grandma dropped the kids off to him
• 45:23
  Speaker 8: and he's speeding down the highway driving and the kid.
• 45:26
  Speaker 8: This is a real video. I thought it was faking
• 45:27
  Speaker 8: to the little girl started crying, but she really really.
• 45:29
  Speaker 8: She wasn't showing her face or the dad's face. The
• 45:32
  Speaker 8: phone was like just hidden in the car kind of.
• 45:34
  Speaker 8: But then she put the phone in her face. You
• 45:36
  Speaker 8: can see she's crying. But he's yelling in the front seat,
• 45:38
  Speaker 8: like I told your mom not.
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: To drop you all ass off.
• 45:40
  Speaker 7: I'm dropping y'all back. She was like, but we're hungry.
• 45:42
  Speaker 7: We've been with you since one o'clock.
• 45:43
  Speaker 6: We haven't ate.
• 45:44
  Speaker 8: He was like, I don't got no money for y'all,
• 45:45
  Speaker 8: got money for food for me? This is how he's yelling.
• 45:48
  Speaker 8: And then no man who can actually provide whatever say that.
• 45:51
  Speaker 8: So it's just he can't provide, and he's blaming the children,
• 45:55
  Speaker 8: and he's blaming the mom.
• 45:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you can't figure it out.
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: That's terrible. How many kids? Was it?
• 46:00
  Speaker 7: Two kids?
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: Two kids?
• 46:01
  Speaker 6: Two kids?
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 46:02
  Speaker 10: So I mean that One of the things that I've
• 46:04
  Speaker 10: noticed is that a lot of times when I see
• 46:05
  Speaker 10: a complaint about a ain't ship that.
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: Sorry, we ain't cursing.
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: I'm a guest here.
• 46:18
  Speaker 10: One of the things that I that I that I
• 46:19
  Speaker 10: always noticed is most of the time it is multiple kids,
• 46:23
  Speaker 10: if not multiple baby mamas, and like that should be
• 46:26
  Speaker 10: like an automatic red flag to any woman if you
• 46:28
  Speaker 10: meet a guy, I don't care what he looks, like,
• 46:30
  Speaker 10: how much money has, if he has multiple kids that
• 46:32
  Speaker 10: he's not with his children mom, or if he has
• 46:34
  Speaker 10: most run baby mamas, like, this is not the man
• 46:37
  Speaker 10: to date.
• 46:39
  Speaker 8: Earlier, I was saying, is it something subconsciously about a
• 46:43
  Speaker 8: man like that that's appealing to a woman.
• 46:45
  Speaker 6: We don't.
• 46:46
  Speaker 7: It's not in front of you got to tell me.
• 46:51
  Speaker 8: Know, you know what I'm saying, As much as I
• 46:52
  Speaker 8: would like a man who to have who doesn't have kids?
• 46:55
  Speaker 7: A lot of men have kids, right, Well, but.
• 46:57
  Speaker 10: I'm saying like, like when this same situation where it's
• 47:00
  Speaker 10: a lot, right, like a man has four or five kids, Like, bro,
• 47:03
  Speaker 10: why aren't.
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: You with one of those ones?
• 47:04
  Speaker 7: Exactly?
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Like that should be obvious, right,
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: you know, God had with.
• 47:08
  Speaker 8: A man recently, Like, listen, you got to pick a
• 47:11
  Speaker 8: household to be in.
• 47:12
  Speaker 7: You can't have all these life goals.
• 47:13
  Speaker 8: You want a million dollars, you got all these things
• 47:15
  Speaker 8: you want to do. You can't do that when you're
• 47:18
  Speaker 8: spreading yourself so thin in between multiple households.
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: Take a bitch, ye and do that.
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: I think went back to different though.
• 47:25
  Speaker 6: Well he be doing it successful.
• 47:27
  Speaker 7: I don't think he's happy. He probably not, but Nick
• 47:29
  Speaker 7: Cannon is happy.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: He got the money where that that don't matter for him.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: That's a big thing too, Like a lot of these
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: dudes out here are making multiple families, broken families, and
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: they broke like his is expensive, yes, Like my daycare
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: costs more than my mortgage, and that shit ain't fun.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm shooting all the time.
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: You can't be broken and broken, right, yeah you can't.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: You can't.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: You can't, and so it's tough. But yeah, if you
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: if you run into a dude and it's like, you know,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I always look at women, I say, damn, he is
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: never with his kid, Like how you dating that?
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: I'm noting with somebody who don't ever have their kids,
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: you know, a.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Lot of a lot of things. It's like, okay, well
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: I don't want to date a man with a kid
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to compete with this other woman
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and this other stuff. And it's like cool, like all right,
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: but when you do get with that dude, at least
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: be happy that he's with his kid and he's you know,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: cares what's going on over there. But you running into
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: a dude and it's like he ain't never got his kid,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: he ain't never facetiming this kid. Kid ain't known the
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: story like he had FaceTime dad. Like that should scare you,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Like all right, cool, you know, don't get prayed.
• 48:31
  Speaker 10: I get with women, don't want to date men with kids.
• 48:33
  Speaker 10: I'm never finished shot. I'm like, yo, I get cool. Yeah,
• 48:36
  Speaker 10: Like kids are a lot especially if you're active father.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Now I.
• 48:41
  Speaker 8: Gotta consider you've got to spend time with your I
• 48:44
  Speaker 8: just want to go outside. You can't take me for
• 48:46
  Speaker 8: a walk, no, sorry, Yeah, like you can't ever take
• 48:52
  Speaker 8: me for a walk because you got these damn kids.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: You're gonna get me a discovery place.
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: That I introduced you to the kids?
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Ready?
• 49:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah, right now that part?
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 49:03
  Speaker 7: Okay, So now you're your divorce one child.
• 49:07
  Speaker 8: One son, one son. Okay, so who gets to meet
• 49:13
  Speaker 8: the son?
• 49:14
  Speaker 7: Has anybody? How long you've been divorced.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: I've been divorced. I think like seven years now, six
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: or seven years.
• 49:19
  Speaker 6: He got a lot of aunties. This your auntie.
• 49:24
  Speaker 10: Yeah, so this is gonna sound crazy. My son has
• 49:27
  Speaker 10: not met anyone. My son has not men.
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:31
  Speaker 7: No, so you haven't liked anybody.
• 49:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but.
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: I haven't been serious.
• 49:35
  Speaker 10: I haven't been serious enough to like introduce my son
• 49:37
  Speaker 10: because one of the I feel that it's important for
• 49:40
  Speaker 10: him to see his father, Like as he grows up,
• 49:43
  Speaker 10: like if he just sees a revolving door, he's going
• 49:45
  Speaker 10: to think that's cool. And it's like I don't want
• 49:48
  Speaker 10: him to think that's cool.
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 49:49
  Speaker 10: I want him to understand that, you know, like when
• 49:52
  Speaker 10: you get older, you know, be with somebody and to
• 49:54
  Speaker 10: be respectful and mindful of that individual. So I've always
• 49:58
  Speaker 10: made that like when I got divorce, like I didn't
• 50:00
  Speaker 10: want him to see that because like you know, his father,
• 50:03
  Speaker 10: Like one day he's gonna go and find all my youtubes. Right, Yeah,
• 50:07
  Speaker 10: it's gonna be a lot of conversations that he's gonna
• 50:09
  Speaker 10: want to have and he's gonna realize that like at
• 50:11
  Speaker 10: one point in time, his father didn't mind to revolve
• 50:13
  Speaker 10: in door, right, but for the whole time he saw
• 50:15
  Speaker 10: his father, that didn't happen. And we can have the
• 50:17
  Speaker 10: conversation though, well, why why didn't that happen?
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: Dad?
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: And it's like, okay, this is why.
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: Do you think it's important for him also to see
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: you treat a woman.
• 50:25
  Speaker 10: Well and absolute woman? Absolutely, which is why he sees
• 50:27
  Speaker 10: me treat his mother as well. Absolutely.
• 50:30
  Speaker 7: Do y'all do stuff together? So as a family.
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: But what about romantic because I feel like the young
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: boys don't understand about romance and they're not seeing their
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: father be romantic.
• 50:41
  Speaker 7: That's a great point, you know, y'all not together?
• 50:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean yeah, but I mean even in marriages
• 50:47
  Speaker 5: that are together, sometimes they don't.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: You know. It's funny because I grew up in a
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: household where I saw my dad like romantic every day.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: Like my dad really took Valentine's Stay serious, which is
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: why I was in high school spending money I did
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: not have. And but I saw that, and I saw
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: him love my mom, and I saw my parents like
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: interacting kids all the time, you know, the joke kids.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: When we was growing up in church, I used to
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: ask my parents, like why ain't never seen my pastor
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: like kiss his wife. I ain't never seen nobody else
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: kiss Okay, so you know, but it's interesting to see that,
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: and like I go home and I seen that. So
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: that is a great point. But yeah, that's a.
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: Solid point because I do want my son to see that.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 51:26
  Speaker 10: It's like, y'all, I'm definitely open to, you know, having
• 51:28
  Speaker 10: that so he can see, you know, his father be
• 51:31
  Speaker 10: romantic with his wife. But I don't want him to
• 51:33
  Speaker 10: see his father being romantic. Shar you know, she's going
• 51:39
  Speaker 10: out with somebody else. It's like, I don't I don't
• 51:41
  Speaker 10: want him to see that. Right, his genetics is gonna
• 51:44
  Speaker 10: be fighting.
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: Right, what would you say, has been like one of
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: the greatest challenges being a black father, just between you
• 51:58
  Speaker 5: and the child, not even the mother, you and.
• 52:00
  Speaker 6: The mother, but h.
• 52:04
  Speaker 10: Honestly being too easy on them, like as a dad,
• 52:07
  Speaker 10: Like no, it's like you tried. This is the thing
• 52:12
  Speaker 10: that you try not to. But I because I was
• 52:14
  Speaker 10: talking to one of my boys, like not about two
• 52:17
  Speaker 10: months ago, and we was like, man, you know we
• 52:19
  Speaker 10: grew up different, right, So we're growing up now. These
• 52:21
  Speaker 10: kids they can go to any after school activity, they
• 52:24
  Speaker 10: can go any school activity. They're living in the suburbs, right,
• 52:27
  Speaker 10: Like they're not in black classrooms the way we were
• 52:30
  Speaker 10: in black classrooms, right, And it's like, man, like, are
• 52:33
  Speaker 10: we being too gentle on them?
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 52:35
  Speaker 10: Like are we giving them too much? Like one of
• 52:37
  Speaker 10: my friends, she just had a baby, and she was
• 52:39
  Speaker 10: just like, you know, kid was acting up. She's like,
• 52:41
  Speaker 10: when of the last time you spank your son? And
• 52:43
  Speaker 10: I was like, believe it or not, I've never spanked
• 52:45
  Speaker 10: my son. I was like, I've never had to. I
• 52:48
  Speaker 10: was like, I take the time to parent them, right,
• 52:50
  Speaker 10: I'll take it. If it takes thirty minutes to get
• 52:52
  Speaker 10: this lesson, I'm gonna take the thirty minutes to give
• 52:54
  Speaker 10: this lesson, right, but sometimes you be like dangn man,
• 52:57
  Speaker 10: like this is not how.
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: I was raised. So it's like, you know, am I
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: Am I doing enough? Right?
• 53:02
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 53:03
  Speaker 10: Am I raising a kid that is too soft? It's
• 53:06
  Speaker 10: something that I'm constantly wondering, like can he take on.
• 53:09
  Speaker 7: The we to surprise him every once in a while just.
• 53:12
  Speaker 4: Jack him up?
• 53:16
  Speaker 10: No, he know his dad will, but it's like you
• 53:18
  Speaker 10: do wander like, yo, are you gonna be able to
• 53:20
  Speaker 10: take on the word, especially the way that the world
• 53:22
  Speaker 10: is moving now. It's like, you know, man, have I
• 53:24
  Speaker 10: done you a disservice? And I think for me that's
• 53:27
  Speaker 10: where I'm like.
• 53:28
  Speaker 7: How do you find a balance?
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah? How do you find that? You know? So that's
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: where I'm always like, So we don't.
• 53:33
  Speaker 7: Have no kids.
• 53:33
  Speaker 8: Were talking about our nieces this morning, sorry y'all, And
• 53:37
  Speaker 8: it's just like how they might.
• 53:40
  Speaker 7: And I think the.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Our generation did the gentle parenting thing.
• 53:45
  Speaker 8: Because of how we were raised right, and it is
• 53:47
  Speaker 8: making the kids more soft, like they can't do ship
• 53:50
  Speaker 8: for themselfs Like my sister was like my niece's passwords
• 53:55
  Speaker 8: for her email and ship till like twenty five, Like
• 53:59
  Speaker 8: you ask your mom for your password.
• 54:02
  Speaker 10: Should But on the other hand, I think, man, isn't
• 54:05
  Speaker 10: that a blessing to be able to do it?
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: Though?
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: Because it's like, again, we didn't we didn't have it
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: at all, right, you know?
• 54:12
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but adults they're not they are adults in some
• 54:18
  Speaker 8: ways something's missing, right, Yeah.
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: It's like by giving them something what you didn't have,
• 54:24
  Speaker 5: you're taking away the lessons that you learned.
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: So we need to bring the belt.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: I see one of these girls with the couple of
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: their ass hanging out.
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: The belt as up.
• 54:38
  Speaker 8: I wouldn't hit my kid. I don't think big people
• 54:41
  Speaker 8: should be hitting little people.
• 54:42
  Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying. They just don't know.
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: I reserved the right to, though.
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: Some people like when you're gonna stop hitting them?
• 54:50
  Speaker 8: I mean, I think, like you can, shouldn't hit your
• 54:53
  Speaker 8: child for every little thing.
• 54:55
  Speaker 6: I don't think.
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: I hate when I see parents with a belt while
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: they're doing homework, standing over a child trying to teach
• 55:02
  Speaker 5: them their homework.
• 55:03
  Speaker 6: And see that Johnny had like, yeah, how they gonna learn?
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Like Trump?
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and like my boy he three, So it's like
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: I gotta talk to him. I gotta figure out you
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But now he's getting to that
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: stages where he'd be like oh, because I'd be like, hey,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: what are you doing? He knows what he's doing now,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: so like, but before it was like very much, no,
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: let's talk, let's figure out, like what's going on? Because
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: I remember my whoopings and mindra I was active.
• 55:26
  Speaker 7: That mean you didn't get a lot of beatings if
• 55:28
  Speaker 7: you can remember, Oh no.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: I got plenty.
• 55:29
  Speaker 7: Did you remember all of them?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Look? No, not all of them. But I put it
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: like this, it was one week I did not get
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't get a ask with My mom took me out.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: She was like, she said, I didn't have to whoop Gavin.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: This week, we're going out to you. It was only Wednesday.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: She was proud that we got there. And it was
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: one of them times. But you know, I was never
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: a bad kid, but I was just so active. I
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: wasn't you know whatever. And so it's funny now because
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: you do get older, you do get that kid there
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: and they look look at you in the eyes, and
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: then you know, they come up and say they love you,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: and then they want to hug you, and then you
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: just melt and you be like, all.
• 56:02
  Speaker 10: Right, I think it is generational and I mean, look,
• 56:05
  Speaker 10: I see some of the others. Some of these kids
• 56:07
  Speaker 10: need to be so like I said, I think I
• 56:09
  Speaker 10: reserve the right to give it, but I don't think
• 56:11
  Speaker 10: every kid needs it. And I think the way y'all
• 56:13
  Speaker 10: are younger than me, but I think definitely my generational
• 56:15
  Speaker 10: way we was raised.
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: It's like you did something, you know, what what? What?
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: What?
• 56:18
  Speaker 6: What? Do?
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: You always say?
• 56:19
  Speaker 6: What?
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: Child? Right?
• 56:21
  Speaker 7: But child is inherently bad.
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: It's beating them gonna make it really better?
• 56:26
  Speaker 8: Like because now it's like shit, if all want to
• 56:27
  Speaker 8: get as a beat and let me go ahead and
• 56:29
  Speaker 8: do what the fuck I want and get this ass whooping.
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: Well, I think it needs to be a combination of things.
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: It shouldn't be just yeah, it should be different types
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: of reprimand.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: You know, in therapy and a bunch of other stuff.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: You know. The sad part about this a little bit
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: off topic, but the sad part about being a photographer
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: is I run into so many parents who kids are
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: on the spectrum and they don't know what yet.
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: There's grown men.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of times when your kid is
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: acting out and they behave in certain ways, you might
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: need to go take them to the doctor and figure
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: out why. Like so it's sad when I'm doing a
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: photo shoot and They're just like, oh, my kid don't talk,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, cool, you know, I don't care.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: I'm there to work. And then you know, I look
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: and then as you keep doing this, you'd be like, oh,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: there's a pattern here for different parents. And then some
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: parents know, and then the parents that don't know you
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: just wish that they did know, you know, so check
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: on you.
• 57:20
  Speaker 10: I've seen some people that was you know, like that
• 57:23
  Speaker 10: growing up. They turned out all right. I mean they
• 57:25
  Speaker 10: turned out all right.
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: Autistic people are the best happiest people on the planet.
• 57:32
  Speaker 6: And I think we're all on the spectrum. The spectrum
• 57:34
  Speaker 6: is a dimmer.
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: It's not absolute spectrum.
• 57:37
  Speaker 6: We're all on it.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be acting now.
• 57:40
  Speaker 8: Yeah, sometimes I'm definitely on the spectrum a little bit.
• 57:42
  Speaker 8: But some people it can actually be diagnosed with some
• 57:45
  Speaker 8: ship because I see people who I was in high
• 57:48
  Speaker 8: school with on social media and they got wives.
• 57:50
  Speaker 7: Remember that.
• 57:52
  Speaker 8: Remember that video of the guy was scamming people for
• 57:56
  Speaker 8: the docum?
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: Remember oh, yeah, that's one of my classmates.
• 58:03
  Speaker 6: What's up nigga.
• 58:05
  Speaker 8: You know, he was like Barral on the internet, like
• 58:08
  Speaker 8: he mixing people's stuff, but he's not fixing it for
• 58:10
  Speaker 8: scamming people around Charlotte Charleston. I forgot where he lived at.
• 58:13
  Speaker 8: Now what's up, nigga?
• 58:15
  Speaker 7: But that niggas on the spectrum. We always knew that
• 58:18
  Speaker 7: growing up.
• 58:18
  Speaker 8: So now you're a wrong person with kids and a
• 58:21
  Speaker 8: wife and don't nobody know your past going to have that.
• 58:28
  Speaker 6: I was in the little bus and.
• 58:30
  Speaker 10: There's no way that that girl got with him and
• 58:33
  Speaker 10: didn't think he wasn't special, y'all know.
• 58:37
  Speaker 8: I mean, he figured out a way to make money
• 58:39
  Speaker 8: and I fix people ship, so.
• 58:40
  Speaker 6: He can't be that.
• 58:41
  Speaker 11: So you see exactly, big ass Julie trunk like he
• 58:47
  Speaker 11: making money, he got a big brain, that boy member wearing,
• 58:58
  Speaker 11: but the wrong ship, Like who the hell was it
• 59:00
  Speaker 11: that class for students?
• 59:01
  Speaker 6: That's what I want to know.
• 59:04
  Speaker 8: That telling me to ask on the first date how
• 59:06
  Speaker 8: many people was in your class in high school?
• 59:09
  Speaker 6: Because I was in the sole class ones but I
• 59:13
  Speaker 6: knew it.
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: I knew it.
• 59:19
  Speaker 6: Listen, I need to explain. I need to explain.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: We're not going to just leave that right there, right now, So.
• 59:33
  Speaker 6: Okay, like the up just a quick story, all right.
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: So I took I was in a P math, which
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: is advanced for those of you that don't know. So
• 59:45
  Speaker 5: I took a freshman math in middle school and I
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: failed it, right, I took it in the ninth grade.
• 59:51
  Speaker 6: I failed it again.
• 59:53
  Speaker 5: They put me in geometry in the so it would
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: be like four by four so you could take like
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: a full semester of class is in the beginning of
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: the year and then the full semester. So they put
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: me in geometry and I passed it. Then they put
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: me in like what comes after that, uh, trigonometry or
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: something like that.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 6: So they put me in all the masks.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: By the time it was time for me to graduate,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: like my junior year, they were looking at what I
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: needed and I had never gotten the algebra one credit.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 6: So now they were like.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: What how work can we Yeah, where can I put
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: you to make sure we have everything you need to graduate?
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 5: And the only math class that would have counted as
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: my freshman math was this remedial math class.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 6: So I was in it, and baby, we was in
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 6: there drawing off.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you that there were blocks and I would
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: be so embarrassed to go in that class because I
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: could do like I could do math, well, you know
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: I had passed all these I would dive in that bitch.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 6: When the bell right.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 8: Nobody I have had classes and just no class man
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 8: like nigga, we see y'all, Like why y'all running.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: To the bus with y'all book back on your face?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 6: Turkey off the wall?
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 8: That is crazy, Turkey down.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, turkey up.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 5: Ain't no group pictures, no, So what ended up happening?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 5: So what ended up happened is all right, the work
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 5: was so easy that I would do it so fast,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 5: and then I would disrupt the rest of the class,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 5: like makeup. I was start doing makeup, pike your hair
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: on the kids.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 6: Who really needed to be doing the work.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 5: So the teacher just like, look, you can't be a
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: part of the class because you're disrupting. So he just
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: gave me a big packet of work to do and
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 5: just turn it in and that would be my math grade.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: So they separated you in the class.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 6: They did separate me, you know, real time.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: That's what we're going on in private schools. I ain't
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: mad at it.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Oh they cooked the books.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what they're going on.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: In schools.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 4: They cooked the book. I'm not mad at it at all.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: Probably be teaching anything.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they cooked.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 6: So that was my.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you was a provo say that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: Just go with that, all right, tell us you'll proudest
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: moment so far as a father.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my kid. I think he won. I
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: think he definitely didn't win president. He won vice president
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: of his daycare class.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 6: The three year old.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, populous, Yeah, we want to day care.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 7: Everybody come in.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, but he don't know like two of
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: the other girls in his class, they're twins. They're his cousins,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: so they be coming up hugging him, and he'd be
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: making sure nobody don't mess with them and everything. But yeah,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: probably that and probably you know, one time I said
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: I love you and he's like, I love you too
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: much and he just walked off and it was funny,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: but it was cute trying.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 7: To tell you you love him too much.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: And I don't know what he was trying to say.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: But other than that, Yeah, my kid, you know I'm
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: bringing in one day, Yeah.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: Because he Yeah, what about you?
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: I don't I don't know.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 10: Like recently, I mean, my kid, I'm constantly like just
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 10: amazing at the little human that he's becoming. So like
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 10: this is his fifth grade year, so you know, he's
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 10: like a senior in elementary school.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: So I think just watching him.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 10: Be like cool, like he gets out of the car
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 10: cool now, like the way he walks, and just like,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 10: you know, I'll be messing with it. I'd be like
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 10: Lay's son. You know, he'd be like, man, come on, yeah,
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 10: chill out, man. So it's just I think, just send
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 10: him mature to a little man. We were now I
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 10: will say this, we were at camp. This is gonna
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 10: be like my second Bible reference. I probably I'm not
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 10: a real pastor, but we were in We were in
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 10: there with all the kids in the cabinet and like
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 10: my son was like the only one end of the
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 10: night was like, all right, I'm going to bed.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: Y'all can stay up and play. I'm going to sleep.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 10: And then it was it was funny because we had
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 10: this Muslim parent there with his son and like my son,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 10: he's getting in bed and he starts saying his prayers right,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 10: and it was like they're like, hey, what do you do.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 10: You know He's like are you reading? And I was
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 10: like no, he's praying like you need to hush. So,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 10: like just seeing him being willing to do that no
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 10: matter who's around, I was like, okay, look, little do legit.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 8: So that's definitely a you got a girlfriend talking about girl,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 8: you know.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: You know what's funny.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 10: So I was I was at camp and my son
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 10: is clueless to this little girl that likes her, Like
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 10: it was so funny to watch. She's like she likes
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 10: him so much and he is clueless.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: Like I had that. I'm like, I was like, hey,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 4: who is that?
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 10: And he was like who was like, you know, little
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 10: such said you know that had ran up here, and
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 10: he was just like, oh, that is somebody in my class.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 4: I was like, okay, I was like, y'all talk. He
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: was just like no, I mean not really. I was
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 4: just like okay.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 10: So I was like, I'm gonna leave it alone. Like
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 10: I'm not going I'm not gonna press him. But it's
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 10: so obvious, like she she pops up. She wasn't in
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 10: our group. I kept seeing her, you know, and I'm
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 10: just like, I was like, son, just say hi when
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 10: she comes up to you, just say hi, just say
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 10: her name, just say hi.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: That's all the game.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 10: I gave him like I do not want him to
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 10: be at the girls, But no, he's not into like
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 10: he's not into understanding the dynamics of that at the
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 10: moment she is, though.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: It's gonna come about six to seventh grade.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 8: So, Gavin, you said, like nobody told you, So, what's
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 8: some things that you wish you would have known three
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 8: years ago before you.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 7: Had this baby?
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: Yo, that first four months is hell. That is just
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: Mike told me to get a rocking chair. That's the
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: only advice he gave me. Now, mind, y'all been knowing
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: Mike has known me my whole life. The only advice
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: he gave me is get you a rocking chair. And
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, for what y'all needed that I needed at
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: that first four months. And you know, my wife went
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: through postpartum like bad, right, and so I didn't know
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: nothing about that. Like my dad didn't sit me down.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: I'm very close to my father. I want y'all think
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: he ain't here, he ain't out here. But even that,
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: and you know that time, I'm thinking thirty five years ago,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know like what postpartum looked like for those
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: men and who had to deal with that. So that
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: just coaching, like being there for my wife, understanding that
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know, most part was like really tough, you
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You know, it was funny enough.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: So my wife is Puerto Rican and I have to
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: stress that because all the black women used to come
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: up there and be like, oh, you're breastfeeding. You know,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: that's women's way of like shaving each other, like y'all shit,
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: And so it's like, oh, are you breastfeeding titties?
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 7: I mean babies hanging upities?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: So when when women be like no, like black women
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: just roll their eyes and run off. But so that
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: was our thing. We knew she knew she was breastfeeding, right,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: So it was like I was glad because I'm like,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: please answer this quick question correctly, right, And we get there,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: and then she couldn't feed past like six weeks, and
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: so she got like depressed and she was going through it.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: And it was one of them things where it was like, yo,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I gotta sit down and really focus on my wife
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: because if she's not okay, then my baby's not okay.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go and do a photo shoot
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: and wonder if my kid is okay. You know what
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I wish somebody would have maybe sat
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: me down and been like, yo, like get ready for this,
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: this could happen, Like just be be patient, like take shifts.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: I think Mike told me that once I can't. He
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: saw me, and I was as tired as hell, but
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: he was like, oh, y'all got to take ships. Like
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: whatever video game you want to play, like start it over,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: start over, You're just gonna be up.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be up.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think I started watching The Wire, you know,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: again and so and then by that time, my kid
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: was older. When I say older, he was like a year,
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: So me and him started watching The Wire again, you
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So it's one of those things
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: like just be prepared and watch after your girl, Like
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: if you don't like your girl, don't give her kid.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: I stress that. I stressed that a lot. If you
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: don't like her, do not give her a child, because.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 7: It's even, you know, more important than loving.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because when shit gets real, like you gotta take
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: care of her and your baby. And so, like I
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: tell everybody now, my wife's job matters the most in
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: our household because I'm an entrepreneur. So whenever she has
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: to do something like my schedule has to adapt to that. So,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: like I said, Shan Cabo, so yo, my working hours
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: changed because who gonna watch my kid? Me? So yeah,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: if you don't like your girl, don't give it. Yeah please?
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 8: As a as a well dad, that's single divorcee. What
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 8: do you think about step dad's Oh gosh, what's the
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 8: comedian that was recently on the Breakfast Club And basically
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 8: he said, if the women ain't acting right, just is
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 8: gonna make another family? That's one thing he said, just gonna.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 4: Have another baby, don't raise anybody else.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he did say basically like stepdaddy's is we go
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: ultimate simps or I disagree?
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I do too, But I mean.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 10: So it's a lot. It's just it's layered. It's a
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 10: layered on you in there. So I don't think there's
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 10: anything wrong with the woman as a child, right. But
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 10: one of the things that I always stress, and any
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 10: any guy who knows me knows that I say this,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 10: Like one of my boys married a young lady had
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 10: a kid, and me and he and I have conversations
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 10: and I'd be like, hey, that's not your child, that's
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 10: his child. You need to reach out to him, Like,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 10: don't go off of what she say, reach out to
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 10: that man because the dude was active. I was like,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 10: she's going to cause friction between you and him, and
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 10: low key, that's what she wants. Because she didn't want that,
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 10: she wouldn't cause the friction. So he and I, I mean,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 10: I'm talking, we've had some like real conversations about that.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 10: Ain't your kid, bro? Now the kid is older now,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 10: and when he's when he speaks of having children, he says,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 10: you know, I got three kids, and he's including that child, right,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 10: But that was after he really understood it, like, yo,
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 10: I got to include this other man and decisions regarding
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 10: his child and that did not come from his wife.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 4: He married the lady. That wasn't coming from her.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 10: If he was, if he would have followed, she was
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 10: ready to just discard the dude that you know, created Yeah,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 10: And I was like, I was like, bro, don't do that.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 10: I was like, it's your job to reach out to
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 10: the man. So anytime we have these conversations around stepdad
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 10: and I see that the two men aren't conversating, I
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 10: don't like it just being just being frank because now
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 10: we're going through the woman. Why are we going why
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 10: are we going through her? We're two grown men. Why
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 10: are we going through her about anything?
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 6: But there's a lot of egos involved in that. You're like,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 6: I don't want to talk to that.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 4: There should be no there should be no man.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 10: If I married woman with a child, that man should
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 10: not be calling my wife. If I married, if I
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 10: married one with a child, that man should not be
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 10: calling my wife.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 4: He should be calling he should be calling me. He
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: should be calling me.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: He should happen that way. But it's never gonna happen
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: that way.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 4: Like, he should not be calling that is my wife.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's never gonna happen.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 6: But they got kids together.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 10: And that's the problem with stepdad is they have children
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 10: together and there's a gun there, and it's like, yo,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 10: you have to reshape that.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 7: But what if everybody got along.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: Do you have a good relationship, y'all have a good relationship,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: Well you.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 4: Better hope it's not too good.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, that's way ego.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 4: That's not that's not feel No.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 10: I'm so I'm practical, and I look at things were practical.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, because if I have a healthy relationship
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 8: if I have a child.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: Like you, Yeah, your kid's.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 7: Mom, if.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 4: She was remarried, I'll talk to the dude.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: You wouldn't talk to her no more. Do y'all talk now?
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah? We do? We talk now, we talk. We talk often.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 7: Get married.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 10: That's his wife, now, that's his Why if it was
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 10: an emergency, sure, but like the casual conversations. No, if
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 10: I if I need, if I need to come grab
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 10: my kid, right, I would, I'd be like, hey, I'm
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 10: coming over. I am going to tell the man I
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 10: am coming to his house before I pop up at
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 10: his house, because no telling what's going on between him
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 10: and his wife. As someone that's been married, there's no
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 10: telling what's going on between him and his wife. So yes,
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 10: I am going to reach out to the husband.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 6: Respect factor, I get that.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, why would we have that?
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 10: Then if we stepdad, why wouldn't we have respect for
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 10: the child's father and the husband? Right most because most
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 10: of the time the ladies aren't going to encourage that.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 10: That is up to the men. So yes, I'm very
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 10: hard on guys. If you're going to marry a woman
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 10: to have a child, you need to find that child's father.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 10: I don't care what she told you. I don't care
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 10: what she said. He didn't exists here in jail.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 4: He's dead. Go to the cemetery. Make sure he's dead.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: Make sure I tell a.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 8: Woman if y'all if he not active, just tell people anyway,
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 8: are you.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: Getting this new man?
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, make sure.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 12: Everything going well and you're gonna say, oh, you just
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 12: got this randoms, make sure that's what I'm staying there?
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 6: What are yours for young fathers?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: One?
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 10: First, they have said, make sure you put a baby
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 10: and a woman you like, make sure you just don't
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 10: like the sex, because that's where babies come from.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: Marry her.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, And I think that's part of the problem.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 10: Like if you don't want to marry one, don't don't
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 10: have children with that woman. It's too hard, it's too
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 10: hard to preparent for two homes.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 4: And I do it. I won't.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 10: I won't even say I'm doing sucessfully. Like we're treading water,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 10: you know what I'm saying, Like it's way better to
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 10: be in the home together. There's so many times where
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 10: I'm like, so much better if I was married, not
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 10: even so much like married to her, just in general, Like, yo,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 10: just be so much better if there was two people here.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 10: So that's the first thing. Make sure you like the
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 10: woman you know, make sure you want to marry her
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 10: before you ever get don't have babies out of wet low.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 10: That's the worst way to destroy any future wealth that
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 10: you'll ever make. It's having a baby out of wet loss.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 10: So that's always the first advice I have the young men.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 10: And then the second thing is everything that Gavin said.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 10: No one really tells us. No one is really honest
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 10: with us how harmonal women are, like just in general,
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 10: not like the way that women are. No, we're not
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 10: not the way like as we get older, our tests
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 10: don't actually start waning. We actually become more peaceful to
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 10: deal with as we get older. So but no one's
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 10: really honest with us about when she have a baby, like, yo,
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 10: it ain't even you, bru at all has zero percent
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 10: to do with you. Has er because it's hard not
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 10: to take it personal when it's coming at you, right,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 10: No one really explains that to men. I think we
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 10: all hope that people have great pregnancies and she doesn't
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 10: experience it. But there's too many conversations amongst men where
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 10: we're like, man, all right, this was wild. You know
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 10: what I'm saying, Like this everything almost fell apart during
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 10: this timeframe right here.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 5: But you can't imagine how many changes a woman's body
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 5: goes through when she has a child.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 4: I agree, That's what I'm saying.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 10: Men need to have the conversation, like we don't really
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 10: have these conversations of like, yo, you know this is
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 10: everything that was going on in my house.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem that men have. It's like, like
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: I tell everybody, when you get married, start hanging out
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: with married people, Like seriously, that don't mean cut off
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: your single friends. You know. It's funny. I have a
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: dude and we're not as close anymore. But I remember
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: he used to always say, like, yo, when my friends
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: get married, I kind of just put space between us.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: And it was like weird to hear him say that
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: because I was like, damn, I'm about to get married.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 7: My friend.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what exactly what happened. But now I'm like,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: all right, cool, it's cool with me. My life is
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: better now. But I hang around people that me. Mike
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: is probably the only person I hang around. There ain't
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: mayor you know what I'm saying, But.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 7: Mike don't marriage mind.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: Oh no, it's a lot. Like Mike is way more mature,
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: so it's like, you know, yeah, so when I'm hanging
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: out with other people, and Mike has known me forever,
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: so he knows what I'm into, what I'm not into,
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: where i want to go, where I'm not going to go.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: But that part and then when you have kids start
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: hanging around more fathers, like that is shape because when
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: we get around, like I told Mike the story yesterday,
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: like I put some money in the bank, I sent
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: my wife to Costco for some trash bags. She came
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: back with four bottles of wine and four bottles of
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: champagne in the trash bags. And I'm like, Cis, I
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: didn't give you money for this, Like what what are
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: you doing? And you in your card for this shit? Right?
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: And then I told her that the trash back was
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: for my dad. My dad still doesn't have the trash bags.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: She forgot to give them to him. Like but you know,
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: if I'm telling my single and I'm like yo, and
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: then you know, her joke was, Oh, I'm gonna give
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: you the money back for you y'all think I'm getting
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: that money back? No, that shit is gone. And so
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: if I'm telling people that's not married that or who
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: don't have kids that, they're just like they're gonna come
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: down on my wife and think whatever. But people that
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: are with women, people that are have kids, they're just
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: gonna be like, hey, man, like what Mike said, that's
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: what women do.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 4: That's what women do.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: After he left, and it's like I wasn't even mad
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: about it. It was just I was just expressing something. So
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: it's like that my boy just got married. My boy
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: Ryan just got married what three weeks ago? And I
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: asked him last week, I'm like, how's it going. It's
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: been two weeks? Because she get real when you get
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: you say, I do ship change everything? Because like right now,
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: we really got skinned in the game. And it's like
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: some people do let their guard down. Well not even
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: some people, everybody does. Like you know, the hardest thing
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: for me and my wife was is when she moved
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: in the house with me, And she moved in the
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: house with me maybe six seven months before we got married.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: That would have happened the day we got married. And
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: I ain't saying shack up. That would have happened the
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: day we got married. We would have we would have
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: made it, or if we wasn't engaged together first. Yeah,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: I've changed my stance on that. Yeah, but just don't
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: don't get her pregnant, broy you're not.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 5: Married, but it's hard to do that living in the
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 5: same house, it's right next to you.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 7: If a woman doesn't, like get pregnant, you don't have to.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: They're gonna kick you.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 8: All of us are here from the pull out method.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 8: About at least.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 6: Two of us sitting on this count here because somebody didn't.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: Sure and it's tough, like, but me and my wife,
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: we wouldn't have made it. We got a look when
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: the day she moved in, I was fussing at her mom.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: I was fussing at her I'm like And then probably
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: two weeks later we had to like have a sit
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: down because we was like, yo, we might not make
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: it to the wedding day. And then it was a
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: lot of me. It was a I was changed, Yeah,
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: because she came to my house. Yeah, and I had
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: to I had to say, this ain't my house no more,
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: this is her house. This is our home. Like it's cool, cool,
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: you bought it, your name on everything, You're not not anymore.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: If you want to be happy, like you gotta communicate.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: A lot of people don't communicate. But going back to
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: what Mike said, like we got to teach men that hey,
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: women are this way and it's okay, Like you're not
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: going through something that's just so that ain't never happened.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 4: I feel like it's just you.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 10: Yeah, like nobody else has dealt with this, is dealing
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 10: with this, and it's like that's not the case.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: Because and I ain't trying to be funny, but like
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: it ain't like the single moms is like sitting their
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: sons down and say, hey, this is how women are.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: They act like they do are women?
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah, like maybe that's another episode.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 6: I ain't got enough time for that. I just want
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 6: to know.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that love women.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 10: We we think that you're angels back and when we
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 10: find out that y'all are not, that is earth shatterings.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 7: And what way like doing something bad or not cleaning up?
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 10: No, no, no, it's just just in general, just like
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 10: we really see y'all as angelic beings and y'all are.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 6: Not because nasty ain't you don't know y'all still.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 4: Have babies, you just yeah, baby, yeah, But as a
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 4: dude in college.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: Like, yo, when the first time you found out your
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: girl was sleeping with everybody, that should be hurtful.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 4: You'd be like the first time man is Yeah, it's
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 4: the nature of one.
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: First time I go to college and nature of a
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: woman in college. My girl come to my room and
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: then my roommates started laughing. I'm like, he was like, yo,
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: she jumped from Florida, Florida, she got and I was
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: your girl.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah it was my girl.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: She ain't my girl, No, mother.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 6: Girl was the past around she was, isn't it?
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 4: That's how they get there? Everybody taking this time. I
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 4: ain't know what I was doing. She was showing me.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 4: Dudes be waiting their turn.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so like women, they're good. Did you find that
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: your girl?
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: Is that the worst part though, just finding out that
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 3: she's experienced.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 10: Well not not just experience, but it is also it's like,
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 10: you know the attitudes, right that that you have to
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 10: deal with.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 7: Men not do you not ever have the poking Women
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 7: said that.
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 10: Men men don't have this aura of not having attitudes.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 10: Men don't have this aura of not being over the top.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 10: That's men's aura, right, Like it's different for men when
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 10: you find out a man, it's sweet and kind and caring.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 10: You be like, oh damn, Like I know he was
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 10: just romantic, you know. But for women it's the opposite.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 10: We think y'all are, and then when y'all not, that's
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 10: what kind of knocks us out, like whoa.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: And it's just a shot.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 4: Expect it's just a shot. We look, we still love
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 4: when we're human.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 7: That's what y'all be forgetting.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because we think you are angels.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 8: That's what I am, though I am definitely from godperriting
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 8: all energy. So I did not say I don't have
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 8: any man come and shoot you in particular. What I
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 8: did say is I like nigga is that and knock
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 8: all this ship over if need be?
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 6: That is what I like. Easy way to say this.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 5: But all right, we have a segment on our show,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 5: this is gonna close this out called SIMP series.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 4: SIMP series, and you gotta share.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 5: A time that you got played by the well I
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 5: feel like you already don't, yes, so you can tell
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 5: us a story about when you got played by the opposite.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: Oh man, when I got played by the opposite, Yo,
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: why he's thinking about it? You got enough plenty.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to make the story that I can tell.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So we at we're doing something. We at church. Sorry,
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: and so we there and we're leaving right, So everybody's like, yo,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: we're going here to eat at a restaurant. Were going
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: to chill. And so I'm like all right, bet so
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: we going there. Everybody's sitting down, and so my short
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: is like, yo, I'll be right back. I gotta go
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: pee cool let her out. We all laughing. I'm looking down.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, it's been five minutes, ten minutes. And
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: where he's eating at. I'm like, this ain't the place
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: you shit at.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 6: Go to corral.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was down here. I was like, shit here.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: And then I'm looking and no.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 3: First ill go to corral.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 6: It's gonna make you shit dwn.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: And so my boy is like looking down and I'm
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: like the energy just changed. I'm like, what the fuck
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: is going on? And my boy just looks down and
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: then so I'm like whatever, like cool, And so Shorty
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: comes back. It's been like twenty thirty minutes. I'm like,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: you good, you throwing up some shit? She was like nah,
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, and Shorty like sister just starts
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: crying at the tables. I'm like, what the fuck is
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: going on? Did I miss something?
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 6: You know?
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: I Mike said his son, don't know that some girl
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: like I don't be seeing shit. So I'm like whatever.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: So all the girls get up from the table and leave,
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: and my boy look at me. He go, Yo. She
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: been in the car with her nigga for like the
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: last thirty minutes, and I was like, I said, Yo, yeah,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: I gotta go home. I just gotta go. We ain't
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: talk since, but it's cool.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 7: So she was fucked up.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 6: You paid for her dinner.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: Actually, did you know what I'm saying? That's some I
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: don't know if that's a SIMP.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 4: I mean he was. He was already halfway in and
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 4: then I joined.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: Free band game, Shut up the future.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 4: Let's see a best SIMP story or not the best?
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 6: Uh?
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 10: The girl that I dated that I thought that I
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 10: would have married. So I was in my twenties. Her
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 10: dad and mom was going through a divorce, so like
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 10: dad basically stopped paying her car. Her car got repossessed,
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 10: so I actually like we went and got a car
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 10: and I co signed on the car for her.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 12: Man.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 10: Yeah, we broke you know, that's simp shit. And we
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 10: broke up probably I don't know, maybe a year later,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 10: and guess what she let the car do get repossessed.
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 6: Credit.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, so I was I was in my young
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 10: twins at that time. And you know when I tell you,
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 10: like that created a lot of rules from that point forward.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that girl up for the rest of us
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 6: who needed a car.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: The lessons you learned out everybody.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, when I tell you that, he didn't take
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 4: another bits to go to corn.
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 6: A lot. So.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 10: But I mean I wasn't mad at it then, was
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 10: not mad at it now. But that's probably that's probably
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 10: the stupidest thing.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's a good one.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 4: I got.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 10: I got another couple married though it was a guy,
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 10: and she was like, oh it was my best friend,
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 10: you know whatever. You know, like we weren't dating, like
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 10: she was just she was in Atlanta. I been Atlanta
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 10: all the time. So I ended up like just crashing
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 10: into the place. And her quote unquote best friend like
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 10: really didn't like he. I don't think he liked her
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 10: because she was experienced and he wasn't. He knew all
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 10: he knew all the stories. I knew a lot of us.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 10: I knew he knew all of him. So so because
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 10: he and I was friends before, we start kicking it.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 10: And like, long story short, like they didn't have like
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 10: a family event and he was there or whatever. So
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 10: he sees me there with you know, the young lady,
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 10: and you know, like I'm a lover of man, like
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 10: I'm a love boy, right, so I'm like, you know,
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 10: taking care of her, kicking it with the family, all this.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 4: Stuff that he seeth it, I mean just see it,
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 4: and I'm just like, you know, so I walk up
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, yo, what's up with your boy?
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 6: You know? He good?
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 4: She was like no, no, he was good.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 10: So the next day we were supposed to I already
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 10: knew what time it was. Next day, like they were
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 10: like a family breakfast and she was like are you going?
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 4: And I was like it's like nah.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 10: I was like I want you and your friend have
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 10: a good time. So I was like I'm gonna stay here,
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 10: like he's not gonna enjoin me being there. But long
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 10: story short, they end up getting married. I could tell that,
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 10: like because she and I were just fun. It's just
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 10: a situationship. But I could tell like when he saw
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 10: somebody else taking care of it. He was like, yeah,
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 10: putting that on him. Yeah, he was like, man, nah,
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 10: I need and they are married now. Yeah, so thank
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 10: you for letting me date your girlfriends.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 8: Oh all right, everybody where they can find your show,
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 8: plug all your things, y'all.
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: First of all, thank y'all, Thank y'all, Thank y'all so much.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: It took two years, but thank y'all. We had to
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: earn it. I respect that, but no, look up Black
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: Dads dot com com. Excuse me, Black Dad's Underscore Podcast.
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 12: Club.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: We're okay, nice, y'all gonna come on the show.
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 8: Like y'all need to expand that more than just the podcast,
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 8: Like y'all need to be doing a little golfing trips.
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 3: I'll take a little cute ship with the Black Dads.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: So we get so many women who are just like y'all,
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: don't want people with kids, But we get so many women.
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, y'all, you just have.
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 6: Y'all could do it like a.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 3: Single daddy no babies convention.
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 4: Y'all get the ladies there.
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we can combine on this.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 4: You'll get the ladies. The ladies there would get all right,
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 4: But yeah, Black Dance Club put you on Instagram man.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: Oh I am underscore Gavin B. Follow me if you
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: need some picture. Y'all want some pictures?
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 7: Yes, we need some.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 3: Picture, bring your camera.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm pas Will at past Mike Will anywhere. You
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 10: can find me with Black Dass Club dot com.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 7: Hey, we appreciate y'all.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 4: Okay, this was a great time, y'all having us on
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 4: this is great.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 7: All right, y'all.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 8: So if you enjoy this episode and these fabulous black
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 8: men who take kids, they probably got excess money, all types.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 4: Of sh we got kids, do not have money.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 7: Now, you're gonna be.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 4: Definitely Black Dance Club is broke.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 6: Black dollar. That might be a five. That's a that's
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 6: a nonprofit club.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, nonprofit.
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 8: Okay, there work, all right, y'all. Enjoyed this episode, y'all.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 8: Tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart Radio
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 8: Apple where you get your podcast. This is your co host,
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 8: A j Holiday two point oh a.
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 3: Y'all.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 5: I love y'all so much.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 6: Thank you for tuning in. It's Tam Bam. Follow me
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 6: on Instagram.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 5: Remember speak now, uh and never and always hold your children.
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 7: Always, always hold your kids.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 3: This is that's your stepdaddy.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, For
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 8: More podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 8: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.