Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 1_ Deciding Our Way Forward

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Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 1_ Deciding Our Way Forward · Andy Stanley Sermons

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  Speaker 1: Today we begin a brand new series, entitle Better Decisions,
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  Speaker 1: Fewer Regrets. Now, as you may know, I recently published
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  Speaker 1: a book under this title, and for that reason, I
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  Speaker 1: was a bit hesitant to turn this content into a
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  Speaker 1: series of talks lest people think I'm just trying to
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  Speaker 1: sell books, but that is not my intent. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: this series is designed to provide you with the content
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  Speaker 1: of the book, so you don't have to read the book. Besides,
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  Speaker 1: you're probably too busy to read a book right now anyway.
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  Speaker 1: But if you will spend just a few minutes over
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  Speaker 1: the next few weeks, consuming, digesting, applying these messages, I'm
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  Speaker 1: absolutely convinced. Well, I'm absolutely convinced that you will in
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  Speaker 1: fact make better decisions and you will be faced with
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  Speaker 1: fewer regrets. And that's a really, really big deal to
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  Speaker 1: me personally. And here's why I say that, and here's
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  Speaker 1: why I'm willing to run the risk of having my
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  Speaker 1: motives questioned in order to communicate this content. While I
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  Speaker 1: appreciate the fact that people I don't know and will
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  Speaker 1: never meet read my books, you are my first in
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  Speaker 1: primary audience. You're the folks I care most about, feel
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  Speaker 1: most responsible for, and Honestly, you're the folks I feel
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  Speaker 1: most accountable too, more than any other group of people,
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  Speaker 1: more than any other families, students, singles, couples. I want
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  Speaker 1: you to make good decisions, and I want you to
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  Speaker 1: have some tools. I want you to have some handles
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  Speaker 1: to help your kids and your nieces and your nephews
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  Speaker 1: and perhaps your grandchildren to make good decisions as well. So,
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  Speaker 1: in spite of the potential awkwardness this creates, or maybe
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  Speaker 1: the suspicions that arouses, I wanted to communicate this content
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  Speaker 1: directly to you. Now. The big idea for this series,
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  Speaker 1: Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, is the often overlooked relationship between
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  Speaker 1: good questions and good decisions, good questions and good decisions.
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  Speaker 1: The truth is, good questions set us up for good decisions.
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  Speaker 1: In some ways, our decisions are no better than the
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  Speaker 1: questions that we ask or the questions we don't know
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  Speaker 1: to ask. And we'll talk more about that later. So
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  Speaker 1: in this series, I'm going to provide you with five
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  Speaker 1: questions to ask every single time you make a decision
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  Speaker 1: of any significance or magnitude financial, relational, academic, professional. These
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  Speaker 1: questions honestly have shaped my life and consequently it's shaped
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  Speaker 1: my marriage, our parenting, and as you'll recognize, it has
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  Speaker 1: certainly shaped my teaching as well. It's the framework for
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  Speaker 1: how Sandra and I make decisions all the time. It's
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  Speaker 1: how we've taught our kids to make decisions. So I'm
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  Speaker 1: convinced that if you will ask, if you will ask
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  Speaker 1: and answer honestly and act on, if you will ask,
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  Speaker 1: answer honestly, and act on your answers to these questions,
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  Speaker 1: you will in fact make better decisions. You will live
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  Speaker 1: your life, or decide your life in a direction that
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  Speaker 1: significantly increases the odds that you will actually end up
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  Speaker 1: where you ultimately want to be as important as important
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  Speaker 1: the people who look to you, the people who depend
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  Speaker 1: on you, the people who work for you, Their lives
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  Speaker 1: will be better as well, because, and you know this,
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  Speaker 1: you are not the only person impacted by your decisions,
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  Speaker 1: and you are not the only person impacted by your
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  Speaker 1: regrets either. In fact, we have no idea who is
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  Speaker 1: ultimately impacted by the decisions we make. In fact, some
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  Speaker 1: of your decisions will impact descendants you won't even live
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  Speaker 1: to meet. The impact and outcome of your decisions will
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  Speaker 1: shape their story. Your decisions determine your fingerprints on somebody
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  Speaker 1: else's future, somebody else's life. And you know this. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: it takes a lifetime for the outcome of some decisions
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  Speaker 1: to play out. In some cases it takes generations. For example,
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  Speaker 1: and granted this is a bit extreme, think about it.
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  Speaker 1: What if George Washington had decided to allow Congress to
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  Speaker 1: make him a king. Think about think about the implications
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  Speaker 1: of that one decision that come to George Washington. And
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  Speaker 1: we don't know all the details, but they say, we
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  Speaker 1: want you to be We don't want you to be
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  Speaker 1: a president. We want to give you a throne and
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  Speaker 1: a crown. We want to make you the supreme ruler.
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  Speaker 1: What if he had accepted that the benefits of his
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  Speaker 1: decision to refuse that offer, to refuse the crown, they've
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  Speaker 1: played out for generations. What if doctor Martin Luther King
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  Speaker 1: Junior had decided to stay up north and remain silent
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  Speaker 1: about what he knew was taking place in the South.
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  Speaker 1: The aftermath of his decision, That one decision continues to
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  Speaker 1: play out to this very day, and it impacts all
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  Speaker 1: of us. Now, I know you aren't George Washington, and
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  Speaker 1: you're not doctor King, but the same is true for
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  Speaker 1: you at some level, and the same is true for
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  Speaker 1: me at some level. Generations of people may very well
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  Speaker 1: be impacted by the decisions you make. In fact, if
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  Speaker 1: you plan on bringing children into this world, or if
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  Speaker 1: you've already brought children into this world, you know with
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  Speaker 1: certainty that your personal decisions have generational implications. And if
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  Speaker 1: you're not convinced, all you have to do is turn
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  Speaker 1: the equation around and look back, and instead of ahead,
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  Speaker 1: think for a moment. Think for a moment about how
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  Speaker 1: different your life would be if your parents, or even
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  Speaker 1: your grandparents had decided differently about a few key things.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, your grandparents or parents made what seemed to
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  Speaker 1: them to be, you know, some small, insignificant decisions. But
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  Speaker 1: those decisions determined the trajectory of your entire life, didn't they.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, in some cases, they determine whether or not
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  Speaker 1: you would even have a life. But they weren't thinking
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  Speaker 1: about you at the time. In fact, you weren't even
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  Speaker 1: around to be thought about. But you have been impacted
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  Speaker 1: by their decisions, for better or for worse. Perhaps your
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  Speaker 1: life would be very different if your father hadn't chosen
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  Speaker 1: to keep picking up that bottle or you know someone
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  Speaker 1: whose life would be very different if their mom hadn't
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  Speaker 1: run off and left the family. And the opposite is
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  Speaker 1: true as well. Maybe your dad. Maybe your dad is
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  Speaker 1: the one who conquered that habit kept the family together.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe your mom chose to stay when another woman would
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  Speaker 1: have walked. The point being is simply this, We never know.
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  Speaker 1: We never know what or who hangs in the balance
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  Speaker 1: of the decisions we make. But here's what we do know.
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  Speaker 1: Private decisions, private decisions, always have public outcomes. Your private decisions,
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  Speaker 1: your personal decisions, Your private decisions probably won't stay private.
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  Speaker 1: Your personal decisions will impact some other persons. And here's
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  Speaker 1: the thing. I know you want to get this right.
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  Speaker 1: We all want to get this right. And I'm confident
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  Speaker 1: that you can. If if you will simply ask, answer honestly,
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  Speaker 1: and act on the five questions we're going to discuss
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  Speaker 1: in this series, your fingerprints, your fingerprints on the future,
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  Speaker 1: will be worth celebrating. So this is a really big deal,
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  Speaker 1: and it's a bigger deal than you. It's certainly a
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  Speaker 1: bigger deal than me. As I remind parents all the time,
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  Speaker 1: this is about the future, it's about future generations. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: you perhaps if you're a parent, you've heard me say
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  Speaker 1: this to you. The most significant thing you do. The
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  Speaker 1: most significant thing you do may not be something you do.
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  Speaker 1: It may be someone that you raise. So back to you,
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  Speaker 1: here's kind of the big idea. Your decisions, my decisions.
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  Speaker 1: Your decisions determine the direction and the quality of your life.
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  Speaker 1: It's your decisions that determine the direction and the quality
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  Speaker 1: of your life. Your decisions, in a way, are like
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  Speaker 1: the steering wheel of your life. Our life are experiences.
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  Speaker 1: They follow our decisions. In fact, you are where you
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  Speaker 1: are because of decisions you've made. And I know you're
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  Speaker 1: going to push back on that just a little bit,
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  Speaker 1: because it wasn't just your decisions that landed you where
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  Speaker 1: you are today. As we just pointed out, you are
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  Speaker 1: where you are in part because of decisions other people
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  Speaker 1: have made as well. But before you push back too
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  Speaker 1: far and too hard, consider this your responses, your responses,
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  Speaker 1: or your reaction to decisions other people made that influence
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  Speaker 1: your circumstances. Your responses are decisions, right, A response is
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  Speaker 1: a decision. We decide how we respond. We choose our responses.
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  Speaker 1: Remembering that, Remembering that is how you avoid a victim mentality.
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  Speaker 1: This seemingly small nuance explains how people who've been dealt
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  Speaker 1: the worst, handsome, imaginable a hand they had no control
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  Speaker 1: over are able to rise above their circumstances and accomplish,
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  Speaker 1: in some cases, extraordinary things. It's why people who have
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  Speaker 1: every reason in the world to be bitter and angry
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  Speaker 1: and cynical or self destructive. It's how they avoid all that,
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  Speaker 1: and how do they do it well? They decide, They
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  Speaker 1: decide rather than react, their way into the future, and
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  Speaker 1: in doing so, they create a preferred future. Besides, we
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  Speaker 1: have all lived long enough to know that a response
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  Speaker 1: a response always creates a better path forward than a reaction. Right.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know about you, but I rarely
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  Speaker 1: have to apologize for a response. I almost always have
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  Speaker 1: to apologize for a reaction. A reaction generally makes well.
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  Speaker 1: A reaction generally makes a bad situation worse. A thoughtful
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  Speaker 1: response generally creates a bridge a way forward. Reactions usually
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  Speaker 1: create regret. In fact, earlier this year I reminded you
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  Speaker 1: that your ability to respond rather than react is your superpower.
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  Speaker 1: Remember we talked about this, just your superpower. Deciding to react.
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  Speaker 1: Deciding to react sets us up to become a reflection
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  Speaker 1: of what we despise. Deciding to react actually sets us
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  Speaker 1: up to become a reflection of the people. In some
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  Speaker 1: cases that we despise. To react is to relinquish control
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  Speaker 1: of your own story. It's like it's like handing the
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  Speaker 1: pen to an enemy and asking them to write the
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  Speaker 1: next chapter of your story. But deciding deciding to respond
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  Speaker 1: allows us to thwart evil, redeem pain. In some cases,
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  Speaker 1: it empowers us to reverse the course of our lives.
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  Speaker 1: So once again, never ever, ever, never underestimate, never underestimate
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  Speaker 1: the power of a measured response, and never forget that
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  Speaker 1: your responses are decisions. This is how you write, This
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  Speaker 1: is how you decide your best story. Now, as we're
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  Speaker 1: about to discover, if you will pause to ask any
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  Speaker 1: of the f questions we're going to discuss in this series,
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  Speaker 1: if you'll pause long enough, the pause will create the
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  Speaker 1: margin you need to respond rather than react. So we
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  Speaker 1: are where we are primarily because of decisions we've made,
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  Speaker 1: and we're headed in the direction we're headed for the
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  Speaker 1: same reason, which means, of course that your future will
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  Speaker 1: be determined by your decisions as well. Your decisions determine
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  Speaker 1: the story of your life. So the good news is this,
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  Speaker 1: if you don't like, if you don't like your current story,
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  Speaker 1: if you don't like the current chapter in your current story,
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  Speaker 1: if you don't like the current direction of your story,
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  Speaker 1: you have the opportunity to decide your life in a
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  Speaker 1: different direction. You can decide a better story, You can
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  Speaker 1: decide your way toward a preferred future. You have the
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  Speaker 1: opportunity to decide a good story. More on that and
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  Speaker 1: week three. Now, before we get into too much detail,
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  Speaker 1: I want to tell you where the idea of this
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  Speaker 1: series originally came from. It really started with my dad
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  Speaker 1: when I was a kid. When I was a kid,
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  Speaker 1: my dad had a terrible habit. At least I thought
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  Speaker 1: it was a terrible habit. His terrible habit was this,
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  Speaker 1: he wouldn't tell me what to do. Specifically, he wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: tell me what to do when I didn't know what
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  Speaker 1: to do, and I wanted him to tell me what
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  Speaker 1: I thought he should that I should do. Now, I
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  Speaker 1: know that most kids don't really want their parents telling
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  Speaker 1: them what to do, and I was like most kids
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  Speaker 1: most of the time, but on occasion, like some kid
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  Speaker 1: most kids, on occasion, I just needed him to tell
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  Speaker 1: me what to do, and he wouldn't tell me. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: it was worse. Instead of answering my question or my questions,
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  Speaker 1: he would ask me questions, and his go to question
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  Speaker 1: was this. He would say, Andy, what would you do
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  Speaker 1: if I wasn't here to tell you what to do?
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  Speaker 1: I heard this a thousand times, Andy, what would you
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  Speaker 1: do if I wasn't here to tell you what to do?
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  Speaker 1: And of course my go to response was, but you
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  Speaker 1: are here, so tell me. And then my dad's go
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  Speaker 1: to question wasn't his only question. There were so many
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  Speaker 1: questions during middle school and high school. His arsenal of
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  Speaker 1: questions included one of the five that will explore later
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  Speaker 1: and one that you've heard me talk about before. He
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  Speaker 1: would say, well, Andy, what do you think? What do
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  Speaker 1: you think is the wise thing to do? What do
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  Speaker 1: you think the wise thing is for you to do?
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  Speaker 1: I hated this question. I hated this question, especially in
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  Speaker 1: middle school in high school because in middle school and
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  Speaker 1: high school that question usually eliminated most of my preferred options.
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  Speaker 1: But when I took it seriously, it also eliminated a
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  Speaker 1: lot of unnecessary regret. But what I didn't appreciate then
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  Speaker 1: as a kid that I certainly appreciate now is this?
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  Speaker 1: But why why all the questions? Why not just answer
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  Speaker 1: my questions and tell me what to do? It would
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  Speaker 1: have taken a lot less time. And you can probably yes,
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  Speaker 1: why he asked me so many questions because he was
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  Speaker 1: more interested in teaching me how to make decisions than
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  Speaker 1: he was in making decisions for me. He was way
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  Speaker 1: more interested in setting me up to know how to
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  Speaker 1: make decisions when I was older, when I was in college,
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  Speaker 1: when I was an adult, than he was simply making
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  Speaker 1: decisions for me and for parents, the shortcut is to
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  Speaker 1: just answer all our kids questions and make all the decisions, right,
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  Speaker 1: But my dad was wise enough to know, and I
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  Speaker 1: think it partly because of the way he grew up.
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  Speaker 1: He was more interested in teaching me how to make
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  Speaker 1: decisions than he was in simply making decisions for me now.
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  Speaker 1: He started really early, maybe too early, but to his
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  Speaker 1: credit and to my advantage, he started while the stakes
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  Speaker 1: were low. He started when the consequences of my decisions
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  Speaker 1: weren't all that bad now. Unbeknownst to me, and I
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  Speaker 1: think unbeknownst to him, he was also teaching me something
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  Speaker 1: else as well, and that something else is pretty much
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  Speaker 1: the overarching theme of this series. By opting for questions
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  Speaker 1: over direction, by choosing questions over simply telling me what
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  Speaker 1: to do, he connected two very important dots for me,
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  Speaker 1: dots that I think most folks never connect. He helped
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  Speaker 1: me make the connection between good questions and good decisions,
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  Speaker 1: good questions and good decisions. To tease that out just
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  Speaker 1: a bit, he basically helped me make the connection between
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  Speaker 1: well placed, appropriately timed, thought provoking questions and good decision making,
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  Speaker 1: which was a good thing because good questions, good questions
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  Speaker 1: always lead to better decisions, and better decisions lead to
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  Speaker 1: fewer regrets. This is why. This is why, on the
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  Speaker 1: back side of a bad decision, on the backside of
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  Speaker 1: a bad decision, it's not unusual to hear someone say,
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  Speaker 1: in fact, you may have said this on the back
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  Speaker 1: side of a bad decision, I should have asked more questions.
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  Speaker 1: We know intuitively, We know intuitively that the more questions
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  Speaker 1: we ask, the more information we acquire, which leads to
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  Speaker 1: greater insight and hopefully better decisions. But pausing you know this,
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  Speaker 1: pausing to ponder a list of potentially disruptive questions, Well,
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  Speaker 1: it's just not easy, and it's not even intuitive. The
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  Speaker 1: truth this, most of us, me included, most of us
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  Speaker 1: resist uninvited questions when we're making a decision right in fact,
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  Speaker 1: in the moment. In the moment, uninvited questions make it
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  Speaker 1: feel like we're being questioned rather than simply being asked
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  Speaker 1: a question. And there's a big difference. And when we confuse,
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  Speaker 1: When we confuse one for the other, what happens. Our
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  Speaker 1: defenses go up and our learning aptitude goes down because
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  Speaker 1: it is virtually impossible. It is virtually impossible to welcome
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  Speaker 1: new information or new insight when we're convinced our judgment
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  Speaker 1: is being questioned. And this is especially true when we're
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  Speaker 1: making personal decisions. After all their personal translated, it is
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  Speaker 1: nobody's business. Maybe, but again, most of our personal decisions,
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  Speaker 1: most of our personal decisions eventually impact and affect some
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  Speaker 1: other persons. It may be none of their business, but
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  Speaker 1: the results of our personal decisions often intersect with someone
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  Speaker 1: else's business, especially the folks closes to us. So there's
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  Speaker 1: no getting around the fact. There is no getting around
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  Speaker 1: the fact that well placed, appropriately time thought provoking questions
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  Speaker 1: set us up for better decisions and fewer regrets. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I'll tell you who is naughty in agreement about now,
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  Speaker 1: all the professional counselors out there, and that right, all
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  Speaker 1: the professional counselors. If you'd raise your hand for just
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  Speaker 1: a minute, yep, I see you out there, isn't it true?
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  Speaker 1: All the good counselors they get this, and great counselors
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  Speaker 1: you master this. Great counselors know that most of us
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  Speaker 1: are far more likely to follow through on decisions we
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  Speaker 1: make than decisions other people prescribe to us or for us.
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  Speaker 1: Right and to the point of counseling, we're far more
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  Speaker 1: prone to take our own advice than advice prescribed to
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  Speaker 1: us by someone else. So a good counselor, and this
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  Speaker 1: is what drives you crazy about your counselor. A good
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  Speaker 1: counselor will never tell you what to do, which is
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  Speaker 1: so frustrating. It's why I stop doing counseling, because I
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  Speaker 1: enjoy telling people what to do, and honestly, nobody ever
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  Speaker 1: did it, and I didn't have the time or the
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  Speaker 1: patience to do it. Great counselors to do. And what
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  Speaker 1: do great counselors do. They scatter bread crumbs. They scatter
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  Speaker 1: bread crumbs all along our path to lead us in
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  Speaker 1: the direction of our best option. They scatter breadcrumbs along
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  Speaker 1: the path to lead us to that know, that aha
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  Speaker 1: moment of insight, and once we arrive, it's clear, it's
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  Speaker 1: so clear what we should do, and we're far more
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  Speaker 1: likely to do it because we arrived at it on
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  Speaker 1: our own sort of. And the bread crumbs that they
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  Speaker 1: scatter all along our path, you know what they are.
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  Speaker 1: You guessed it. They are well placed, appropriately timed, thought
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  Speaker 1: provoking questions. Now I experienced this firsthand for the first
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  Speaker 1: time about twenty five years ago. I was meeting with
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  Speaker 1: a counselor who was so incredibly good at this, and
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  Speaker 1: two questions in particular he asked me at the perfect moment,
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  Speaker 1: placed me squarely in front of the mirror to my soul,
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  Speaker 1: and I saw what I had never seen before, and
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  Speaker 1: I didn't like it. And one of his questions actually
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  Speaker 1: compelled me to decide my life and my teaching and
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  Speaker 1: really my whole approach to ministry in a completely different direction.
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  Speaker 1: In that moment, I saw something in me again i'd
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  Speaker 1: never seen before, and you can't unsee something once you've
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: seen it. And I've shared that story with you before
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: his other question he asked me much later in our
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: time together, and this question actually paved the way for
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: reconciliation between my dad and me. I'm Steve, my counselor,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: and I were actually walking around a quarter mile track
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: at a local high school. He learned that it was
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: easier to talk to me when we were going somewhere
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: rather than facing each other. That's the case for a
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: lot of people. And I was going on and on
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: as we walked around the track. I was going on
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: and on about how frustrated I was, how frustrated I was,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: and Steve would always stop and say, Andy, frustration is
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: just anger by another name. You're really anger. But see
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I like the word frustrated or frustration because it felt
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: more Christian than anger. Right anyway, So I'm going on
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: and on, and he'd ever heard it all before, and
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: suddenly we're walking around this track. He stops. He turns
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: and he looks at me, and he says, Andy, let
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: me ask you a question. Now. I'd been meeting with
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Steve long enough to know that you don't answer quickly,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: because the last time I answered a question quickly, I
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: stepped right into his counselor trap and had no choice
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: but to change. Andy, he says, let me let me
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: ask you a question. We were talking about, you know,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: my relationship with between me and my dad. He said this,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: He said, Andy, how do you think your heavenly father
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: feels towards your father? Andy? How do you how do
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: you think your heavenly father feels towards your And he
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: actually said earthly father. And in fact, for some of
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: you today, this question is the reason you are watching
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: or listening to this message, because this question punctured my soul.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: He said, how do you how do you think your
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: heavenly father feels towards your father, your earthly father? Remembering
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: he said that your heavenly father takes your father's entire
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: life into account. How do you think he feels about him?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: He said, do you think your heavenly father, you think
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: your father's heavenly father is frustrated with him, is angry
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  Speaker 1: with him? Now, of course I knew the answer was no.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Steve turns around and he just walks on. I'm hustling
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: to catch up, and before I could answer the question
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: out loud, he stopped again, and he turned to me
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: and he said this. He said, Andy, when you feel
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: towards your father, what you think your heavenly father feels
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: towards your father, You'll know you're making progress. You'll know
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: you're getting healthy. Wow, that was stunning, and suddenly I
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: had something to aim for. But suddenly I was confronted
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: with how hard I had been working to maintain a
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: perspective that justified my frustration, A perspective that honestly left
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: me waiting for my dad to move in my direction
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: before I took a step and his, And once again
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I stepped right into his trap, a trap that would
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: eventually set me free. Now, when it comes to progress,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: when it comes to making better decisions, avoiding regret, it's
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: hard to beat. This is why I told you that story.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: It is hard to be well placed, appropriately time thought
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: provoking questions. So what if you had the questions ahead
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: of time? What if you had a list of questions
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: you could ask yourself when faced with an important decision.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Questions to ask when you're stuck, Questions to ask when
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: you're unsure, frustrated. Imagine having a list of questions that
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: serve as a grid or like a filter to evaluate
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: your options, even your emotions, even your responses and reactions.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: And the purpose of this series honestly is to give
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: you the questions ahead of time. Not all the questions,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: but five questions I'm convinced will result in better decisions
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: and fewer regrets if if you ask, answer honestly, and
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: act on your answer. Essentially, what I want to do
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: is I want to add five questions to your decision
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: making grid. Now, I say add because you already have
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: some sort of grid that you run options through whenever
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: you're making a decision. In fact, you use that grid
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: every single day. You may not be aware of it,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: but you use it every single day. Every time you
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: make a decision. You unconsciously ask some questions, questions like
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: well I enjoy this, will this hurt me? Will this
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: hurt someone else? Will anyone find out? And then our
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: all time favorite, what's my out if someone finds out? Now,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: some questions we ask ourselves are helpful, others not so much.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: But the point is simply this. We already have a
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: decision making grid or template, and what I want to
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: do is I just want to add five additional points
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: of reference. So in parts two through six of the series,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: we're going to unpack each of the five questions beginning
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: next week with the integrity question. But between now and then,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I want to give you a bit of a homework assignment.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I want you to commit a saying from the Book
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: of Proverbs to memory. It plays a really big part
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: in all that's to come. And it's a verse that
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I memorized many, many years ago. It's a saying I
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: taught my kids before they were old enough to understand
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: what it even meant. Sandra and I run decisions through
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: this filter all the time. In fact, on one occasion,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: this one verse, and I'm not exaggerating, this one verse
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: kept us in terms of our marriage out of a
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: really really deep ditch. Solomon writes, the prudent see danger
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: and take refuge. The prudence see danger and take refuge.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: This is a word we do not use very much. Prudent.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: To be prudent means to be crafty, to be shrewd,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: to be sensible. Are you crafty? Are you shrewd? Are
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: you sensible? Do you know what crafty, shrewd and sensible
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: people do? Crafty, shrewd and sensible people connect the dots
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: they live as if life is connected, that today's decisions
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: determine tomorrow's options. And tomorrow's outcomes, that today's decisions show
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: up in tomorrow's relationships, that today's reactions and responses have
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: a way of smuggling themselves into our future. So the
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: prudent see danger, and when they see danger, they take refuge.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: When they realize that something up ahead is dangerous, when
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: something up ahead has the potential to rob them of
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: their preferred future, their future hopes and dreams, their future potential,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: they respond appropriately. The prudent don't decide based on what's
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: right in front of them. The prudent decide based on
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: where they eventually want to be relationally, financially, academically, professionally, physically, spiritually.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: The prudent see danger and take refuge. The prudence see
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: danger and take refuge. But the simple, and here's the contrast.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: But the simple, the simple minded, the naive, the people
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: who believe most anything. The simple are the people who
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: approach life as if life is disconnected. They know better,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: They know better when they stop to think about it.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: In fact, we all know better when we stop to
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: think about it. But the simple they just don't stop
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: to think about it, so they don't take refuge. Instead,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: the texta as Solomon says, they just keep right ongoing,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: and as a result, they pay the penalty. Or the
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: version that I memorized when I was younger and taught
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: my kids says, and they suffer for it. The prudence
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: and they pay the penalty. They suffer for it. Again,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to commit this verse to memory,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: because the five questions we're going to discuss in this series,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: if you will incorporate them into your decision making filter,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: they will slow you down and create the perspective that
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: you need to see danger coming, and it will help
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: create the margin you need to stop and think about it,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: to connect the dots, to put your passions, your desires,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: your fears, and proper perspective. These five questions actually are
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: going to serve as a reminder that life is connected.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: If you'll ask these five questions, you will make better
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: decisions and you will be better off. But as a
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Jesus follower, there's another important component to all of this,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: and we already touched on it. If you'll ask these
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: five questions consistently, not only will you make better decisions
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: and live with fewer regrets. Not only will you be
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: better off the people who look to you, who depend
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: on you, who need you, they will be better off
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: as well. In fact, everybody, everybody you come into contact with,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: will be better off. And in this way, in this way,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: this is what love requires of us, because once again
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: we're reminded it's not all about us. The prudence see
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: they pay the penalty. So let's be prudent. Let's be prudent.
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  Speaker 1: Let's make better decisions. After all, your decisions, your decisions,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: our decisions, determine the direction and the quality of our lives.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: And we will pick the discussion up right there next
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: time in part two of Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets. Don't
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: miss Part two