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Transcript

Mondays are for Masturbating · Untraditionally Lala

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, Gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. Hello, Gorgeous,
0:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. I am back not so
0:12
Speaker 1: better than ever. Hi Amber, Hi Loala. This is so
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Speaker 1: exciting because we finally get to talk about the project
0:21
Speaker 1: we've been working on.
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Speaker 2: Finally.
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Speaker 1: Yay. You guys know that I had Amber on the
0:27
Speaker 1: first episode of Untraditionally Lala, and we had been going
0:31
Speaker 1: back and forth about doing something in some capacity together
0:35
Speaker 1: for I want to say, like four years. Yeah, probably right,
0:39
Speaker 1: it's been a minute, and finally it was the right
0:43
Speaker 1: time and our new podcast, An Unlikely Affair, is officially happening.
0:50
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about this.
0:53
Speaker 2: I know so might.
0:54
Speaker 1: What made you feel like it was like the right
0:56
Speaker 1: time for us to do something like this?
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Speaker 2: You know, I think what we said on the previous
1:01
Speaker 2: podcast is that we were both like it's kind of
1:03
Speaker 2: like a marriage, like one wants to leave and one
1:05
Speaker 2: wants it to stay, and one the other one wants
1:07
Speaker 2: to leave it. So and I think you and I
1:09
Speaker 2: were just in different parts and healing parts of our life.
1:13
Speaker 2: And for me, I mean, I'll just speak on for myself.
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Speaker 2: Is like now I could finally talk from a place
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Speaker 2: of healing not hurt, because you know, obviously, everything that
1:23
Speaker 2: I've been through in my life with you, with my family,
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Speaker 2: it's sometimes it can really stir up a lot of
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Speaker 2: emotions and that those emotions are shame, anger. And it
1:33
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that like I don't get there, because there
1:35
Speaker 2: are definitely days and you know this because I call
1:37
Speaker 2: you hright, but I just I feel like it's like, Okay, finally,
1:42
Speaker 2: now is the time that like we could go out
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Speaker 2: and help other women who've experienced or are going through
1:49
Speaker 2: something very similar like you and I have.
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Speaker 1: I fully agree with that. And there are so many
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Speaker 1: moments where I feel like I'm over something, whether it
1:59
Speaker 1: has to do with friendships, certain relationships that I've been
2:04
Speaker 1: in my past, where you do come from a place
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Speaker 1: of anger and shame and if you start looping. And
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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of the progress that I've made in
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Speaker 1: so many of those moments where it's like, wow, I
2:18
Speaker 1: can sit here and I can think about every detail
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Speaker 1: of my past and not feel any of those things.
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Speaker 1: And I'm excited for us to talk about the light
2:30
Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel, because when you're in
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Speaker 1: it I know so many people who are like, this
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Speaker 1: is my life forever and how am I ever going
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Speaker 1: to recover from this sort of anger and shame? Especially
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Speaker 1: with the holidays coming up, it's like a very isolating time.
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Speaker 1: If you have to co parent, that is a fucking nightmare.
2:50
Speaker 1: By the way, are you in it or are what's
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Speaker 1: the deal with that? I'm figuring it out.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm figuring it out. I'm like a big mush
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Speaker 2: fall during the holidays And what do you mean? The
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Speaker 2: holidays are just really special for.
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Speaker 1: Me, Like I get depressed. I do.
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Speaker 2: I do get depressed, and I think I get more depressed,
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Speaker 2: like the day after Christmas. And I've always been this week,
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Speaker 2: especially as a kid, because it was like my family
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Speaker 2: went went all out for Christmas. It was like we
3:20
Speaker 2: would have a halftime and so I gave my kids
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Speaker 2: that with you know who, and it was beautiful. But
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Speaker 2: now it's like now when you have to split that
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Speaker 2: the holidays just never feel the same after you get divorced.
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Speaker 1: Ever ever, you know, I with the person we have
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Speaker 1: in common, I just remember every single moment, whether it
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Speaker 1: was a dinner on a Tuesday or Christmas Day being
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Speaker 1: rushed like there was no magic to anything with him, so.
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Speaker 2: Like, get through the Christmas present as fast as possible.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I've never experienced a holiday in a relationship
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Speaker 1: with a child, you know, Ocean's always been split for everything, which.
4:04
Speaker 2: Is good because she'll know the difference. Yeah, she'll or
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Speaker 2: she won't know the difference. She won't know the different difference.
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Speaker 1: I don't know the difference, yeah, because I have nothing.
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Speaker 1: I mean I was around your kids on you know, Christmas,
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Speaker 1: even Christmas Day when you guys would have to do
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Speaker 1: the exchange. But it's it's so different when it's your
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Speaker 1: own child, obviously, and so I don't know, like this
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Speaker 1: is just my norm. Yeah, and it's hard to because
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Speaker 1: now So says getting to a really fun age and
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Speaker 1: Ocean is looking at her like, oh my gosh, this
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Speaker 1: is my friend. And now when I say like, hey,
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Speaker 1: you're going to your dad's house this weekend, she's like,
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Speaker 1: but my sister, I don't want to leave, and that
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Speaker 1: that's kind of like. I love that she wants to
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Speaker 1: go over to his house, because if she didn't, that
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Speaker 1: would be got wrenching for me.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a whole nother yeah, ball game, but he
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Speaker 2: makes it very fun he does make it very fine,
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Speaker 2: very fun over there.
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Speaker 1: But I love that, Like, oh, Ocean is now looking
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Speaker 1: at so says like her little her little friend. So
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Speaker 1: I'm starting to get a little bit nervous about the
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Speaker 1: holiday approaching because I know Ocean's gonna want to he
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Speaker 1: with her sister.
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Speaker 2: I know, but you know what you just have to
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Speaker 2: I think the most important thing that you should do
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Speaker 2: is just acknowledge Ocean's feelings right totally. And I think
5:28
Speaker 2: this is the age where I wish I would have
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Speaker 2: had all the all of the resources and books that
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Speaker 2: I have now that I've read or you know, friends
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Speaker 2: that have helped me along the way. Just acknowledge your feelings, like, yeah,
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Speaker 2: I understand how that could be really hard, Like you
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Speaker 2: have to identify the name of the feeling because she
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Speaker 2: doesn't know these yet. So don't dismiss it, like, oh,
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Speaker 2: you'll be fine. You know, we'll see you whenever you
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Speaker 2: come back, and we'll have our Christmas. It's like, oh,
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Speaker 2: tell me how, like that must feel really hard or
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Speaker 2: that must make you sad? Does that make you sad?
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Speaker 1: Totally? You know, Ocean's really good at pinpointing her emotions and.
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Speaker 2: If she's anything like London.
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Speaker 1: Yes, yes she is. Do you think that like when
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Speaker 1: you see Ocean? I know she's only four and a half.
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Speaker 1: Do you see similarities in our kids? Oh yeah, oh.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I see a huge similarity between London and Ocean.
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Speaker 1: Okay, and what are those similarities?
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Speaker 2: Super talkative, like very verbal, like just says it how
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Speaker 2: it is. I call it diary of the mouth. You're
6:27
Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, I cannot point. My fucking
6:29
Speaker 2: child just said that. But it's cute, like she's you know,
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Speaker 2: I see the biggest now with Riley and Ocean, I haven't.
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Speaker 2: I feel like I haven't been around them enough together,
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Speaker 2: Like I see Riley's taking on such a mommy roll
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Speaker 2: when it comes to Ocean. But I think London and
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Speaker 2: Ocean are like even there. I mean, I've shown you
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Speaker 2: pictures side by side. It's freaking scary. It's like, oh
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Speaker 2: my god, it's so cute.
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Speaker 1: But I think Ocean looks like you really, Yeah, I've
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Speaker 1: told you this before. It's so cute AND's sosa oh yeah,
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Speaker 1: like they both maybe they maybe they are, maybe they
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Speaker 1: both resemble you maybe in a previous life.
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Speaker 2: Maybe you know it's funny you posted something on I
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Speaker 2: think it was a a story and I actually saw
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Speaker 2: Ocean and Sosa for the first time.
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Speaker 1: Really, okay, can I tell you you are not the
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Speaker 1: first person to say that to me?
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Speaker 2: Oh?
7:27
Speaker 1: Really No, It's something that I posted recently, yere I
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Speaker 1: had people I.
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Speaker 2: Had to like stop it and go, oh my gosh,
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Speaker 2: she looks like Ocean a little bit.
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Speaker 1: Wow. I could be making this up in my head,
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Speaker 1: but I do feel like Ocean is starting to look
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Speaker 1: more like me. She obviously looks like him. I know
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Speaker 1: that he's participated in the making of Ocean, but I
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Speaker 1: feel like, okay, you like some of my DNA is. Yeah, yeah,
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Speaker 1: not just in the personality of her being a back.
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Speaker 2: I think her personality is more like you.
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, I'm going toes with I lied to you.
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Speaker 1: She's very much like me. However, she's a lot like him,
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Speaker 1: where she will verbally waterboard you until you're like, fine,
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Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, leave me the fuck alone,
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Speaker 1: you know, like the fly that's oh.
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Speaker 2: My god, relentless, relentless.
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Speaker 1: It's exhausting. I will look at her. We were in
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Speaker 1: Hawaii and I was like, I don't want to go
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Speaker 1: toes with you today. Make mommy's life easy today. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: mommy's life is gonna be easy.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Are we gonna have a good day or bad day? Yeah?
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Speaker 1: She's like, I know, mom, but I just wanted to know.
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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I've said it five fucking times no,
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Speaker 1: and then you want to know what happens. I give
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Speaker 1: her what she wants because I'm like, I don't want
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Speaker 1: a battle. I just the beach. I know, I am.
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Speaker 1: Did you have fun in Hawaii at the best time? Yeah,
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Speaker 1: I'm exhausted.
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Speaker 2: Your ass looked a really good in some of those photos.
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Speaker 1: By the way, I was like, damn, okay, a lot
8:59
Speaker 1: of you do nothing popping it the right way? Are
9:03
Speaker 1: you joking what? Everyone's like, Oh my god, you're bounce back.
9:09
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, yes, but at the same time, angles, yes,
9:13
Speaker 1: angles and lighting, lighting, editing, you know, yeah, but you
9:19
Speaker 1: don't need a lot of editing. I've seen your your
9:22
Speaker 1: you've seen my naked body before. Yeah, I'm a naked lady.
9:25
Speaker 1: I've seen your.
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Speaker 2: Naked body a lot, front, back, inside, all of it.
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Speaker 2: But we don't need to go there. That was like
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Speaker 2: six seven years ago.
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Speaker 1: Oh Amber, why would you do that?
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Speaker 2: I just I couldn't you open the door.
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Speaker 1: You opened the door literally, Yeah on the phone? What
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Speaker 1: are you talking? Oh my god, I want to throw up.
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Speaker 1: No one knows this story.
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Speaker 2: Oh really, well, then let's save it for later. Then,
9:51
Speaker 2: you know what, I feel like this is a good
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Speaker 2: New Year's story.
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Speaker 1: I feel like this is a good first episode of
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Speaker 1: an unlikely affair story. Yeah, how do you feel like
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Speaker 1: the person that we the reason for why you and
10:06
Speaker 1: I know each other, is going to react.
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Speaker 2: Listen, I'm not doing this for anyone but us and
10:14
Speaker 2: women out in the world and mothers out in the world.
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Speaker 1: I like it.
10:18
Speaker 2: It's this is this is our thing. I agree with that,
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Speaker 2: and I don't need permission anymore in my life. I'm
10:22
Speaker 2: arrived at a very different phase, and you know, a
10:25
Speaker 2: lot has to do with just time and healing and
10:29
Speaker 2: forgiveness and sobriety and removing and you know what, I'm
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Speaker 2: fucking I don't give a fuck.
10:34
Speaker 1: I don't care. I love that you just said that,
10:48
Speaker 1: because there were many moments that you and I would
10:51
Speaker 1: talk and I feel like you would come from a
10:54
Speaker 1: place of fear. Yeah, because I was.
10:57
Speaker 2: I was, I had the hands around my you, Yeah,
11:01
Speaker 2: in a big way, and I just I can't. I'm
11:05
Speaker 2: not living my life anymore. Like you know, I'm I'm
11:08
Speaker 2: a grown woman, you know, right, And I'm I'm just
11:12
Speaker 2: I'm just at a different phase of my life. Like
11:14
Speaker 2: I said before, It's like I'm talking from a place
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Speaker 2: of healing and compassion and experience and what you and
11:21
Speaker 2: I went through. And still I'm still in the shit.
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Speaker 2: You know, I have an almost sixteen year old and
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Speaker 2: a twelve year old. I'm in a really tough spot
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Speaker 2: when it comes to co parenting teenage daughters.
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Speaker 1: Right, It's hard. Yeah, No, I can't. I can't imagine.
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Speaker 1: We spoke about this the last time I had you
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Speaker 1: on untraditionally La La. But I come to you because
11:43
Speaker 1: you know your girls and the co parenting of it
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Speaker 1: all that is a window into my future, in Ocean's future,
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Speaker 1: and just being a mom going into teenage years, which
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna blink and that's going to happen. And it's
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Speaker 1: just a different world than when I grew up. And
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Speaker 1: there's city kids living in LA with phones and iPads
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Speaker 1: and Instagram and it freaks me out. And then you
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Speaker 1: take two households and in our situation, it being impossible
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Speaker 1: to co parent there's it's only parallel parenting because you
12:20
Speaker 1: have no fucking idea what's going on over there. No
12:23
Speaker 1: one is honest, no one is truthful.
12:26
Speaker 2: And there are more Well, that's because everybody that has
12:28
Speaker 2: worked over there lives in.
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Speaker 1: Complete fear in hands around the neck. Yeah, I, for
12:33
Speaker 1: the most part don't even know where the fuck my
12:35
Speaker 1: child is.
12:36
Speaker 2: Yeah.
12:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I want our podcast. I want an Unlikely
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Speaker 1: Affair to be about you and me and our experiences.
12:49
Speaker 1: That person is one just some the reason for why
12:54
Speaker 1: you and I know each other.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, listen, this is gonna be such a
12:58
Speaker 2: fun podcast.
12:59
Speaker 1: So much fun. And this person is a silhouette, like
13:02
Speaker 1: he's nameless in all of it. This is this is
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Speaker 1: a way for women or even men to come and
13:09
Speaker 1: talk about the challenges of co parenting, the upsides, what
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Speaker 1: it's like to go out and venture into sex. I mean, you, guys,
13:15
Speaker 1: I hit up a twenty six year olds on Instagram.
13:18
Speaker 1: I went in for a twenty three year old and
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Speaker 1: my mom was like, that is so fucking foul la
13:24
Speaker 1: la oh my gosh. Yeah wow. Yeah. She was like,
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Speaker 1: I won't allow it.
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Speaker 2: Did you do a kissy face emoji?
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Speaker 1: Like I didn't even send it because I was I
13:36
Speaker 1: got shamed.
13:37
Speaker 2: Good, you know what, Thank you. I'm gonna call Lisa
13:39
Speaker 2: today and be like, you know what, Lisa, good for you.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty three is a little young. It is.
13:44
Speaker 2: It's funny.
13:44
Speaker 1: You go young and I go like, you go too
13:48
Speaker 1: fucking old amber. They're like ready to be buried.
13:50
Speaker 2: Wait, can I say something to you?
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Speaker 1: I do hot to let saggy old man balls slap
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Speaker 1: against your ak. Okay, I will not allow it any longer.
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Speaker 2: Okay. I took your advice, and I would like to
14:04
Speaker 2: declare something to declare it 'tis the season okay for
14:08
Speaker 2: masturbation Monday?
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Speaker 1: Oh oh so fun. It's so what is this about?
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Speaker 2: Remember last time you told me? Yeah, you shared your
14:18
Speaker 2: like mid day find a day of the week, midday
14:21
Speaker 2: and do your thing. And I started in Montana. I
14:24
Speaker 2: started doing it. It's amazing. So I said, Okay, my
14:27
Speaker 2: schedules a little nuts. So we're going to declare Monday
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Speaker 2: for masturbation Monday. And I want all the women in
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Speaker 2: the world between from like twelve and like pickup time
14:37
Speaker 2: right like twelve and three, twelve and two depends on
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Speaker 2: how old your kids are, take care of yourself.
14:44
Speaker 1: You don't have to twist my arm. It was beautiful Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Stursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
14:50
Speaker 2: Like, where's laala? I no wonder when you're not replying
14:52
Speaker 2: to any messages, I'm like, this chick is masturbating. Geez.
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Speaker 1: I love this idea. Yeah, And can I tell you
15:01
Speaker 1: ocean sleepy in the bed is a little bit of
15:03
Speaker 1: a buzzkill.
15:04
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't get Riley out of my room.
15:06
Speaker 1: And that's why you have to have that window. And
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Speaker 1: just like a little toy, you women need it. Why
15:13
Speaker 1: do you think Sony Morgan is so happy all the time.
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Speaker 1: She is freshly fucked at all times.
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Speaker 2: You know what it's like making love to myself for
15:21
Speaker 2: the first time.
15:21
Speaker 1: I know. That's the way.
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Speaker 2: Like I put on music and I light a candle
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Speaker 2: and it's like a whole It's like a whole beautiful thing.
15:28
Speaker 1: And I think about my own self.
15:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I love you, Amber, I love you too.
15:34
Speaker 1: I don't think about anybody else. I think about myself.
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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that's the spot. And does it like
15:46
Speaker 1: my little drawer full of toys?
15:48
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I just have one.
15:51
Speaker 1: Oh, we gotta step it up. Yeah, yeah, do you
15:53
Speaker 1: know how many? How many companies send me vibrators? And
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Speaker 1: my mom's like another one came and I'm looking at it.
16:00
Speaker 2: Even went to your mom.
16:01
Speaker 1: I've given them, I've given them to her, and I'm like,
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Speaker 1: this is a fucking you hear Lisa, like Uki, if
16:07
Speaker 1: I heard that, I would die. I would die.
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Speaker 2: No, Amber, I know, I get it, I know, but
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Speaker 2: your mom is a she. She's got to do her
16:16
Speaker 2: thing too great, lovely. I don't want to hear she's
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Speaker 2: probably at your house doing it right now.
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Speaker 1: She should. I'm gone, Easton's gone, kids are gone. These
16:27
Speaker 1: are the types of conversations we will be having on
16:31
Speaker 1: an unlikely affair at all times. I want to mention
16:35
Speaker 1: all of it.
16:36
Speaker 2: I can't wait to dive in. I want to know
16:38
Speaker 2: who you're sleeping with, but I want to know, like
16:40
Speaker 2: what's going on because I feel like you just you,
16:43
Speaker 2: You're I feel like I could learn a.
16:45
Speaker 1: Lot from you. Yeah you do, I do. I do.
16:49
Speaker 1: Like in terms of what I love talking about sex,
16:52
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's my same topic that I'm the
16:54
Speaker 1: most excited about. But on top of that, feeling like
17:00
Speaker 1: so says what fifteen months, and I still feel like
17:04
Speaker 1: I'm coming out of like this postpartum journey. And I
17:12
Speaker 1: know that I put on my Instagram that it takes
17:14
Speaker 1: seven years from what I've read for a woman to
17:16
Speaker 1: like fully heal and remember who she is in her
17:18
Speaker 1: own identity. I'm still working on trying to figure out,
17:22
Speaker 1: like who am I? Because I have out of body
17:25
Speaker 1: experiences a lot, and I know that I'm not the
17:27
Speaker 1: only one. Anytime I'm not with my kids, I feel
17:31
Speaker 1: like I'm removed watching myself be a normal thirty five
17:35
Speaker 1: year old woman, going, God, you're so fucking stupid. Shut up,
17:39
Speaker 1: go home to like your babies and like lay in bed.
17:42
Speaker 1: I feel like I my purpose is one thing and
17:46
Speaker 1: one thing only right now, which is being at home
17:49
Speaker 1: with my kids. And anytime I'm not doing that, I
17:52
Speaker 1: have an out of body experience.
17:54
Speaker 2: Yeah there's a lot of guilt and shame. Yeah that
17:56
Speaker 2: comes with being a mom, but you have to just
17:59
Speaker 2: it's it's balance. And like people were like, oh, there's
18:02
Speaker 2: no such thing as balance.
18:04
Speaker 1: I don't know.
18:04
Speaker 2: If I fully believe that that is true, Like, like,
18:10
Speaker 2: you're you're doing such a great job. You handle so
18:13
Speaker 2: much like people don't realize behind the scenes of everything
18:17
Speaker 2: else that they do, and they see you, like in
18:19
Speaker 2: front of the TV screen what you handle well, thank
18:22
Speaker 2: you and you're doing it.
18:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's all you can do.
18:24
Speaker 2: You just show up every day and listen. We like
18:26
Speaker 2: we're in a program where it's a twenty four hour
18:28
Speaker 2: day at a time. Like that's all you have in
18:30
Speaker 2: front of you.
18:31
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that, and I love you and I'm
18:35
Speaker 1: so excited to do this with you.
18:37
Speaker 2: I love it too, sex and rock and roll.
18:44
Speaker 1: I love you, guys. Thank you for listening to another
18:46
Speaker 1: episode of Untraditionally La La. I will catch you guys
18:48
Speaker 1: next week, and remember an unlikely affair with Lalakhent and
18:52
Speaker 1: Amber Childers is coming your way. Love y'all. Bye,