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Recognise Gaslighting, Rebuild Your Worth: God’s Truth for Your Heart · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Gaslighting is certainly an insidious tactic. I'm wondering how one
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: comes to learn such a vice. Is there a handbook,
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  Speaker 1: or do you think that gaslighters merely act out what
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: they've seen in their own families and or media?
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  Speaker 2: Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that
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  Speaker 2: causes the victim to doubt her or himself and ultimately
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  Speaker 2: lose her or his own self of perception, identity, and self-worth.
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  Speaker 2: They can occur in personal relationships such as verbal, emotional,
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  Speaker 2: and or physical hostility from one partner to another, at
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  Speaker 2: the workplace when a supervisor regularly and unfairly berates his
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  Speaker 2: or her employees, or over an entire nation when commercial
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  Speaker 2: advertising or public figures make pronouncements that are clearly contrary
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  Speaker 2: to the good of society. Gaslighting can be learned from family, media,
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  Speaker 2: and or societal norms. It is a phenomenon that's becoming
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  Speaker 2: ever more pervasive in our society today, which is why
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  Speaker 2: I wrote my book, How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and
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  Speaker 2: Stop Psychological Bullying.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: In your article, you asserted that gaslighters create negative narratives
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  Speaker 1: that are damaging to the gaslightee. Are there instances where
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  Speaker 1: gaslighters use flattery to gain control over their victims? I.e.
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  Speaker 1: exaggerating or overstating someone's beauty, intelligence, or talent when the
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  Speaker 1: opposite is obvious?
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  Speaker 2: Gaslighting is predominantly a negative and destructive trait. Some gaslighters
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  Speaker 2: may occasionally use flattery or other forms of positive reinforcement
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  Speaker 2: as a manipulative tactic. When the victim's guard is down,
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  Speaker 2: the next round of gaslighting may begin.
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  Speaker 1: Emotional confusion appears to be the base of a gaslighter's agenda,
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  Speaker 1: and I can understand how this could work well on
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  Speaker 1: someone who does not trust their own judgment. However, does
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  Speaker 1: this type of emotional confusion chip away at those who
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  Speaker 1: do trust themselves?
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  Speaker 2: Those who trust and have a good sense of themselves
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  Speaker 2: can be more immune to gaslighting. However, gaslighters tend to
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  Speaker 2: persist in their coercion as long as you're in their orbit.
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  Speaker 2: Like psychological warfare, by keeping up with the negativity, the
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  Speaker 2: gaslighter can eventually wear down their victim. Just as a
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  Speaker 2: physically healthy person can get sick by standing next to
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  Speaker 2: someone with the flu, an emotionally healthy person can be
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  Speaker 2: infected with a negative contagion spread by a gaslighter.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: When someone is aware of gaslighting tactics, do you believe
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  Speaker 1: they can still be gaslighted?
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  Speaker 2: Probably yes, at least to some extent. If one has
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  Speaker 2: regular contact with a gaslighter, when one is repeatedly exposed
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  Speaker 2: to negativity, manipulation, and coercion, it's hard not to be affected.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: How can an individual guard against self-doubt in these type
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  Speaker 1: of situations?
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: There are many tips to guard against being gaslit in
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  Speaker 2: a relationship. One of the most important ideas is to
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  Speaker 2: keep a healthy distance whenever possible. It's also crucial to
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  Speaker 2: learn how to communicate affirmatively to yourself and with a
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  Speaker 2: gaslighter to minimize the impact of being gaslit.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Are gaslighters always cognizant of what they're doing, or is
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  Speaker 1: it possible that one can gaslight others unconsciously?
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  Speaker 2: Many gaslighters purposely want to dominate and control an individual
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  Speaker 2: or a group. That said, there are other times when
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  Speaker 2: a gaslighter is unaware of his or her destructive behavior.
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  Speaker 2: An example would be someone who consistently makes derogatory, sexist, racist,
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  Speaker 2: and homophobic slurs because that was how this individual was raised,
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  Speaker 2: but is oblivious to the hurtfulness of such remarks.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I love that you mentioned codependent relationships in your article.
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  Speaker 1: Would you say that persons who do not suffer from
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  Speaker 1: codependency are less likely to be the victim of gaslighting?
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  Speaker 1: Or are all people equally susceptible?
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: It takes two people for gaslighting to work, the gaslighter
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  Speaker 2: and the victim. As soon as the victim decides she
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  Speaker 2: or he will no longer accept the ill-treatment, the process
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  Speaker 2: of change begins. This is sometimes easier said than done
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  Speaker 2: because of the codependent factor, but it is definitely doable.
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  Speaker 2: It often takes critical astuteness to spot and protect oneself
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  Speaker 2: from gaslighting, be it in a romantic or family relationship,
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  Speaker 2: at the workplace, or in society at large.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: You mentioned that giving false hope is a tactic that
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  Speaker 1: abusers use to gaslight. Would it be safe to assume
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  Speaker 1: that gaslighting only works if there is a rotation of
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  Speaker 1: abusive behavior and superficial kindness? Is this cycle a perpetual
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  Speaker 1: hook that allows gaslighting and abuse to take place?
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  Speaker 2: While some gaslighters employ the false hope tactic, others do
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  Speaker 2: not bother with it. Many toxic and abusive relationships are
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  Speaker 2: that way on an almost daily basis.
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  Speaker 1: You stated that a gaslighter seeks to exploit his or
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: her victims at will to expand his power for personal gain.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: While all gaslighters might not be narcissists, do you think
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  Speaker 1: all narcissists are gaslighters?
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  Speaker 2: Gaslighting and narcissism are different traits with certain overlaps. Both
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: can be egocentric, manipulative and coercive. Whereas narcissists tend to
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  Speaker 2: focus on self-absorbed, selfish machinations to use others, many gaslighters
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  Speaker 2: fixate on power and control to dominate others Someone who
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  Speaker 2: has strong pathologies of both narcissism and gaslighting is toxic
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  Speaker 2: and dysfunctional at best, and highly dangerous at worst.
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  Speaker 1: Please discuss your books How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and
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  Speaker 1: Stop Psychological Bullying and How to Successfully Handle Narcissists and
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  Speaker 1: Where to Purchase.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I wrote How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological
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  Speaker 2: Bullying How to Successfully Handle Narcissists, because as a professor, trainer,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: and coach, I've met so many people who suffer from
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  Speaker 2: toxic relationships. These books include many practical communication tips and
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  Speaker 2: assertive strategies on how to handle gaslighters and narcissists. The
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  Speaker 2: publications are available at nipreston.com forward slash new forward slash publications,
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  Speaker 2: and this interview contains excerpts from my book. How to
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying, which is registered
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: with the U.S. Copyright Office.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: While gaslighters seek to confuse, control, and dominate, one should
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  Speaker 1: definitely consider distancing him or herself from dealing with such individuals.
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  Speaker 1: While I know it can be difficult and quite uncomfortable
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: to place distance between yourself and someone you love or
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  Speaker 1: like in personal relationships or friendships, staying close is far
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  Speaker 1: more damaging when your mental health is at stake. Remain
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  Speaker 1: aware that your feelings and experiences are valid and no
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  Speaker 1: one possesses the power or authority to invalidate you or
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  Speaker 1: your perceptions. Trust yourself as best as you can and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: always remember that authentic love does not devalue another human being. However,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: if you're not quite ready to disengage, it's okay. Luckily,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: we have professionals like Preston Nee to help us figure
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: things out. If you enjoyed this video, Be sure to
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: check out our website and other social media for more content.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And don't forget to subscribe! Thanks for watching.