Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Stewart on Trump_s Xi Summit _ Jordan Klepper on Hegseth_s Anti-Weirdo Crusade

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Jon Stewart on Trump_s Xi Summit _ Jordan Klepper on Hegseth_s Anti-Weirdo Crusade · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Last week, a young man by the name of Donald
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Trump picked up a young man by the name of
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Xi Jinping, Chinese president, at the airport for a pivotal
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: three-day visit to Washington. Now, as with any monumental meeting
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: of superpowers with profound repercussions for global safety and stability,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: it began with House tour. Have you seen my pictures?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Do you guys have pictures? Have you guys seen our
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: outdoor carpet? Do you guys have outdoor carpet? Have you
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: seen our sky? Do you have a sky? Oh, do
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: you see that lady with the face? Yeah. Do you
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: think she's pretty? Oh, good. Yeah, she's very pretty. By
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the way, what a genuine thumbs up. It's the thumbs
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: up you give when your friends show you their kid's artwork.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Madison made that all out of macaroni. In fact, Trump
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: spent most of Xi's White House visit just pointing at shit,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: while Xi did his best effort to pretend to be impressed.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Although I'm sure they talked about issues of national importance.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: We had a.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Great meeting and he is great at fishing granite.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: He likes granite.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: He's an expert on stone, aside from many other things.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: And he loves good granite.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Does he? Does he love good granite? Is that his,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I love good granite face? Because it looks like his,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I'd rather be standing in front of a tank in
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: a square face. Yeah, look it up. Like, President Trump,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're proud of your new circular granite helicopter
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: parking spot, but just so you know, This is Shenzhen, China.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: They've got a fully autonomous magnetic levitation train. Pretty sure
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: he's not blown away by carved rock in shape of circle.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: By the way, you know, China did used.
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: To work in rock about 3,000 years ago.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: So again.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure Xi Jinping is not like, this used
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to be grass and now it's rock. We have so
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: much to learn from your people. But listen, I'm sure
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: he wants to be a good host as long as
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Trump understands the seriousness of the competition between our two
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: nations and is diligent in not undermining America's national security.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, national security is the whole reason we're paying
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: $ 600 million for this ballroom, right? So you'll keep that
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: behind the curtain, yeah?
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: As a special treat in honor of President Xi and
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Madam Peng, I'd like to invite everyone in the room
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: to visit through that beautiful curtain in the back, the
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: new ballroom that you've heard about.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: You'll be the first people to step foot on that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe Trump's just trying to sell Xi Jinping on renting
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the ballroom out for his next big function. I don't know.
• 3:53
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Jewish. Surprising. Xi Jinping.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Who'd have thought? Probably changed his name. Anyway, surprising how
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: lighthearted their interactions seem to be given recent developments.
• 4:09
  Speaker 8: China sent 1,300 shipments of drone and missile parts to
• 4:13
  Speaker 8: Iran from the start of the year through the end
• 4:15
  Speaker 8: of June.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: China has been sending weapons to Iran? Did China supplying
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Iran with weapons come up at all?
• 4:25
  Speaker 9: The US ambassador to China claims President Trump offered.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: To sell American weapons to China. It only came up
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: as an opportunity? I gotta say, that sounds like bullshit.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Unless I hear this from the actual mouth of the U.S.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: ambassador to China, I do not believe it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 10: President Trump continues to say, hey, we sell arms to
• 4:51
  Speaker 10: other people around the world. He actually asked President Xi
• 4:55
  Speaker 10: would he like to buy some at one point.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: What the f * * *?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Does America even stay on the map sometimes? I don't even,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: how do we not just slide into the sea? All right.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I had to have misheard that. I got to hear
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: it from the president himself. I won't believe it. Did
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Trump really offer to sell weapons to China? Is that accurate?
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Did you make such a suggestion?
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: To China? To China. You mean to Taiwan?
• 5:19
  Speaker 11: No, to China.
• 5:20
  Speaker 12: That's what he said.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: I never heard of that one.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to ask him.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: You mean we're going to sell?
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: No, they probably like to buy it because we do
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: make better equipment than them.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: So maybe it's a good idea. He totally f *
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: * * ing offered them weapons.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You can almost see Trump trying to do the math
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: in his head. Well, if Iran beats us with weapons
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: that we make, it's kind of like we won the war.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: I'm in.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Now, this is.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Question. I seem to remember the Republican Party used to
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: frown on the idea of selling weapons to communist enemies
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: who are supplying said weapons to other enemies we are
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: currently at war with. Does anybody on that side have
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: an opinion on this summit?
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: President Trump with a lavish welcome for Chinese President Xi Jinping.
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: Some Republicans now sounding the alarm.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: Getting some pushback from members of his own party. Not happy.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: With the president's extravagant welcome.
• 6:19
  Speaker 13: Frustrated that he's rolling out the red carpet.
• 6:23
  Speaker 14: Want Trump to drop the velvet glove and use the
• 6:25
  Speaker 14: iron fist.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: A number of Republicans outraged with Trump's embrace of Xi.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, damn!
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Outraged! This is it!
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: This is it!
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Trump finally went too far! Republicans are outraged! So mad!
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Republican Senator Roger Wicker, the great state of Mississippi, went
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: down to the floor of the United States Senate to
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: tell President Trump from his whole chest how he feels
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: about this debacle. Quite frankly, had the White House asked
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: me for advice, I would have suggested the president not
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: invite Xi Jinping to Washington. Oh, shit!
• 7:11
  Speaker 15: Oh!
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Damn! That is the kind of fire.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: You expect from someone who runs a small town southern
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: funeral parlor that he himself recently died in. But you
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: know Trump. He's got nine lives. They're going to have
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: to follow up that fiery rhetoric.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Trump's a populist.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: He speaks the language of the people. He's not going
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: to listen to the outrage unless it comes from someone
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: like Senator John Kennedy, who's a simple Louisiana farm boy
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: who was raised by a butter churn and two crawfish before,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: of course, attending Oxford Law. He knows what these dang
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Chinese are like.
• 8:08
  Speaker 14: President Xi is one of the best liars I've ever seen.
• 8:12
  Speaker 13: I mean, he learned to lie before he learned to talk.
• 8:15
  Speaker 13: With China, if you turn the other cheek, they just
• 8:17
  Speaker 13: stab you in the neck.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, with China, you can reach out
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: a hand in friendship, but they'll just f * *
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: * your cousin. China, China will.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: F * * * your cousin.
• 8:36
  Speaker 7: But hell.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Old Senator Kennedy looks more bothered than a hot fox
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: slapping a cold chicken in a warm river. Doesn't bother me.
• 8:49
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Well, he's not bothered either. Nothing, no cutesy. You know
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: what's sad? The only Republican with balls to say what
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: a bad idea this summit is, is Donald Trump.
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: We have the president of China come a few months
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: ago to Washington, and we give him a state dinner. Now,
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: when people are screwing you, you don't give them state dinners.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I would not be throwing him a dinner. I'll be
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: throwing him a banquet! And there'll be flowers, and there'll
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: be dancing, and afterwards, we're all going to go look
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: at the ballroom! There'll be food and people dressed up,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about granite. I found it
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: amusing as well. But of course, it is not the
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: first time the media has tried to make a meal
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: of Republicans' dissatisfaction with Donald Trump.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Republican revolt.
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: Republicans are starting to hit.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: The panic button. The president's approval rating is at an
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: all-time low.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Breaking ranks.
• 10:05
  Speaker 16: Republicans distance themselves from President Trump. Top Republicans break with
• 10:10
  Speaker 16: President Trump just weeks before the midterms.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: Openly breaking with the president over the war in Iran.
• 10:16
  Speaker 7: Openly?
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess if Trump... Wasn't weakened? I mean, would
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: any Republican have the balls to come out against the
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Iran war like Senator Husted of Ohio?
• 10:29
  Speaker 11: Senator John Husted, up for reelection in Ohio, told Politico tonight, quote,
• 10:33
  Speaker 11: the war needs to come to an end as quickly
• 10:35
  Speaker 11: as possible so that we can lower gas prices.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: He has taken a stand. Now, obviously, many would prefer
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: that an anti-war position would come in the form of
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: a moral judgment about the shedding of innocent blood and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: the folly of man's desire for conquest and not necessarily,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: 554 for regular? What the f * * *? But
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: we take it here as we can get it. So
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: long as Senator Houston of Ohio backs up his stirring
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: rhetoric with a yes vote to end this reckless war
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: of choice, I take you now to the floor of
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: the United States Senate. Mr.
• 11:08
  Speaker 17: Husted, Mr.
• 11:10
  Speaker 6: Husted, no.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: You know, courage can take many forms. Although that does
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: not appear to be one of the forms that it takes.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: But the point is, it's just sad, you know. The
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: point is, Husted's up for re-election. His constituents hate this war,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: and chances are most of them don't get C-SPAN. Now,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: why in God's name would we continue to fall for this?
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Why are we constantly believing that there are cracks in
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: the MAGA fortress? We do because that's what we are
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: told over and over again.
• 11:49
  Speaker 6: Is MAGA cracking?
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: New cracks emerge in the president's armor.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: A crack in the Republican Party's blind loyalty.
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: The first big crack in the wall. His party is
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: turning on him. His base is fracturing. The dam is
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: starting to break.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: If the dam breaks, it'll be a flood. It's going
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to be a flood, right?
• 12:12
  Speaker 6: A break.
• 12:14
  Speaker 11: In the dam, in the Trump dam, that it doesn't
• 12:18
  Speaker 11: mean that you're going to get a flood, but it
• 12:20
  Speaker 11: means you at least have a leak.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But you told us the dam, the armor, the cracks,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: the flood, and now it's, is the MAGA coalition finally
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: showing a small wet spot on the front of its pants?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And the media's been doing this to us for f
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: * * * ing ever. If it's not China and Iran,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: it was the Epstein files. The Trump presidency, as we
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: have known it, is over. It is not. It is not.
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: Cracks are emerging among Republicans over the government shutdown. Cracks
• 12:56
  Speaker 6: in the Republican wall are starting to show up. Exposing
• 12:59
  Speaker 6: some cracks within the GOP. Starting to see some cracks emerge.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: Trump fever breaks and it's in the process of breaking
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: right now.
• 13:05
  Speaker 6: That Trump fever seems to be breaking.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: I get the sense there might be a dam breaking.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: Is that the same dam that's breaking this year? That
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: was breaking?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: This is a very tough dam! And we can keep
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: going back even further, like when candidate Trump attacked John
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: McCain's military service in 2015. I do think it's the
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: beginning of the end of the marriage between Donald Trump
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and the Republican Party.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: It's not!
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: He's still standing.
• 13:40
  Speaker 14: You're not!
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: He's not dead.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: He was just fired. For God's sakes.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: It's not the end of the marriage between Trump and
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: the Republican Party. It's the beginning of the Republican Party's
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: current BDSM understanding of master and gimp.
• 14:06
  Speaker 10: And the media.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: That's not photoshopped, by the way. That is a real elephant...
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: You know what's weird about that? Can't remember its safe word.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Elephant memory joke. All right. And the media refuses to
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: recognize that even Republicans with nothing left to lose will
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: still shrivel at the moment of truth. like confirming an
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: attorney general who also happened to be the president's personal
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: law lackey.
• 14:51
  Speaker 18: Todd Blanch's nomination for Attorney General is indeed in deep trouble.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: The so-called wounded bear caucus of Senator Tillis, Cassidy, Cornyn.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: They're not going to be coming back for another term
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: in 2027, so they really have nothing to lose.
• 15:04
  Speaker 11: An army of Republicans with no more, you know, Fs
• 15:08
  Speaker 11: to give.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: It's President Trump versus the YOLO caucus.
• 15:12
  Speaker 19: John Cornyn, Tom Tillis, and Bill Cassidy all voted for
• 15:15
  Speaker 19: the president's former personal attorney despite having concerns he was
• 15:18
  Speaker 19: too close to the White House.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: It's the YOLO caucus, bitch. We are here to cast
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: confirmation votes and show some spine, and we are all
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: out of spine. And by the way, no one plays
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: the I'm actually quite concerned and upset about this thing
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I am actually going to vote for better than the
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: poster child for troubled acquiescence.
• 15:41
  Speaker 20: The five-foot-eight-inch sophomore from the great state of Maine, Susan Collins,
• 15:46
  Speaker 20: who is the avatar for wanting to do something about
• 15:49
  Speaker 20: the policies her votes have enabled whenever, of.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Course, she happens to be up for re-election.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Take ICE.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Back in July, ICE shot an unarmed man in Biddeford, Maine.
• 15:59
  Speaker 12: It would be wise for DHS to have a halt
• 16:05
  Speaker 12: in non-urgent traffic stops until... We get this straightened out.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Straightened out. Straightened out. ICE didn't try and return a
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: sweater without a receipt. They shot a guy. I'm telling
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: ICE the same thing I told L.L.
• 16:25
  Speaker 21: Bean.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: I was here last week.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: But yes, it would be wise to rein in ICE,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Susan Collins. perhaps by tying their funding to important reforms.
• 16:36
  Speaker 11: Senator Susan Collins earlier this year voted for $ 70 billion
• 16:40
  Speaker 11: in ICE funding with no reforms.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Oops! Or how about Trump's Office of Management and Budget,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: which has come up with the novel theory that it
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: can just refuse to spend money Congress has passed into law. Well,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: you can guess who's pretty upset about that.
• 16:54
  Speaker 11: Senator Susan Collins saying any effort to rescind appropriated funds
• 16:58
  Speaker 11: without congressional approval is a clear violation of the law.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's a clear violation of the law that is
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: known as the Impoundment Control Act. And ignoring that law
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: is a strategy masterminded by Office of Management and Budget
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Chief Russell Vaught, who Susan Collins voted to confirm. But
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: how could she have known that Vaught would try and
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: pull something like this?
• 17:25
  Speaker 22: The president ran on the notion that the Impoundment Control
• 17:28
  Speaker 22: Act is unconstitutional.
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: I agree with that.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Troubling. But what about abortion?
• 17:39
  Speaker 16: I would not support a nominee who demonstrated hostility to
• 17:45
  Speaker 16: Roe v.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: Wade.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: And to her credit, she only voted for four of them.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Like so many enlightened Mainers, Susan Collins is also worried
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: about the effects of the anti-vaccine sentiment on our health
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: as a nation.
• 17:57
  Speaker 23: I am really worried that we're going to see outbreaks
• 18:02
  Speaker 23: of measles, totally preventable outbreaks of measles.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, totally preventable, specifically by Susan Collins.
• 18:15
  Speaker 9: Collins has voted to confirm RFK Jr.
• 18:17
  Speaker 11: As head of the Department of Health and Human Services.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Boo!
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: You heard the judgment of the crowd.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: Boo!
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: You know that Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Brown metaphor? I can't figure out if Susan Collins is Lucy.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: Or Charlie Brown.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: She is either Lucy, cynically pretending to be concerned about
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: the obvious downstream effects of her votes, despite repeatedly voting
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: that way, or she is criminally naive about the inevitable betrayal. Oh,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I think this time the justices will actually, no! In fact,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: the only thing you can be sure of with Susan
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Collins is if you try and hold her accountable for
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: these contradictions, she's gone.
• 19:08
  Speaker 13: Do you think you should release what he's got?
• 19:10
  Speaker 6: Do you regret your vote on Kavanaugh?
• 19:13
  Speaker 16: I really don't have anything to add at this point.
• 19:17
  Speaker 23: I don't know enough to make a judgment at this point.
• 19:21
  Speaker 23: I have not reviewed the MOU yet.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You haven't reviewed the MOU yet?
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: Do you think this is a good deal for the
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: United States?
• 19:29
  Speaker 12: So I have not yet had a chance to.
• 19:32
  Speaker 11: Review the MOU.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: There is not a conveyance yet invented, car, escalator, elevator, door,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: that can hold the Houdini-esque Susan Collins.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: She is the master of all egress.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Except obviously the elevator the elevator is tough it's complicated
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: the buttons which symbol is which is greater than the
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: one that closes it or less than god knows And
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: by the way, if Susan Collins was actually a principled lawmaker,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: she would no longer be Senator Susan Collins.
• 20:10
  Speaker 19: If I'm elected, I will only serve two terms. Twelve
• 20:13
  Speaker 19: years is long enough to be in public service, make
• 20:16
  Speaker 19: a contribution, and then come home and let someone else
• 20:19
  Speaker 19: take your place.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, that seems interesting.
• 20:21
  Speaker 6: Let me hold on one second here.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Let me just, very quickly, I mean, hold on. Okay.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: She made that statement in 1996 and a Senate term
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: is six years. So two terms is 12 years. So
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: that puts us from 1996 to, hold on, 2008. Now
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: let me carry that. This gig is awesome. Okay, hold
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: on a second. And now it's 2026. Susan Collins made
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: a two-term promise five terms ago. But it's fine. I'm
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: sure she'll continue. to have very serious concerns about term
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: limits when she's running for her 18th term as head
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: in jar. Point is, let's stop pretending that the overwhelming
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: majority of Republican politicians will ever stand up or break
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: from Donald Trump, will ever remove the ball gag that
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: is in place, from grabbing by the pussy avenue to
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: insurrection road to no more wars except this one boulevard.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: They're in the f * * * ing car. And
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: the news media would be doing everyone a favor. if
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: you didn't try and play up every empty gesture of
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: independence from Republican lawmakers. It's cruel. You're getting our hopes up, Lucy.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: And as for you, Susan Collins.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I'd like to hear an explanation as to why you
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: shouldn't pay an electoral price for enabling all the terrible
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: consequences that the people of Maine are facing as a
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: result of your Senate votes.
• 22:11
  Speaker 16: Frankly, I just think it's it's too early to make
• 22:15
  Speaker 16: that kind of.
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: But I am getting.
• 22:19
  Speaker 7: Wait.
• 22:21
  Speaker 11: Where's she going?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Son of a bitch!
• 22:23
  Speaker 10: Let's kick things off with Donald Trump, 40-time winner of
• 22:27
  Speaker 10: the ongoing war with Iran. Now, today he launched a
• 22:32
  Speaker 10: new website called America.gov, which uses AI to answer questions
• 22:37
  Speaker 10: you have about the government. Questions like, why is Massachusetts
• 22:41
  Speaker 10: so hard to spell? Or, why no bulge on Lincoln Memorial?
• 22:48
  Speaker 10: And how to solve crime, question mark. This not Kash Patel,
• 22:51
  Speaker 10: BT Dubs. But Trump didn't just launch an exciting new
• 22:56
  Speaker 10: website today. He also brought in his most exciting cabinet member,
• 23:00
  Speaker 10: Marco Rubio, to make his own exciting announcement.
• 23:05
  Speaker 18: Starting next year, Americans will be able to apply for
• 23:09
  Speaker 18: their first passport entirely online.
• 23:20
  Speaker 10: Why are you doing this like an Apple product launch?
• 23:25
  Speaker 10: And one more thing. This passport folds to the size
• 23:32
  Speaker 10: of a passport. But hey, you know what?
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: When I'm wrong, I admit it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 10: The administration is really delivering on all its promises. I mean,
• 23:42
  Speaker 10: you remember the chants.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: Thank you very much.
• 23:45
  Speaker 12: Wow.
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: Promises made, promises kept.
• 23:58
  Speaker 10: But Marco had more surprises in store because once you
• 24:01
  Speaker 10: get that passport, it's gonna look a little different.
• 24:05
  Speaker 18: The words United States of America are now exactly where
• 24:08
  Speaker 18: they belong.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: First, right on top.
• 24:11
  Speaker 18: The eagle carries you across 250 years of America.
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: You'd see it soar.
• 24:16
  Speaker 18: Watch the eagle as you flip through the pages.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I think that's pretty good.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: Holy shit!
• 24:27
  Speaker 10: This is going to totally blow the minds of kids
• 24:29
  Speaker 10: in 1928 who haven't.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: Seen Steamboat Willie. Wow! Extra, extra moving pictures! Read all
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: about it!
• 24:36
  Speaker 10: But while Trump is basking in the rollout of America's
• 24:41
  Speaker 10: high-tech website and 19th century tech passports, he's embroiled in
• 24:45
  Speaker 10: yet another ethical controversy.
• 24:48
  Speaker 11: The Trump administration is facing some controversy after a new
• 24:51
  Speaker 11: White House ad campaign aired on CBS and other channels.
• 24:54
  Speaker 11: The TV spots say paid for by the U.S.
• 24:57
  Speaker 15: Government.
• 24:57
  Speaker 11: Critics say they look like campaign ads for the president.
• 25:01
  Speaker 12: Wow.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: Okay, now that is messed up.
• 25:03
  Speaker 10: The government shouldn't be spending taxpayer dollars on campaign ads
• 25:07
  Speaker 10: for President Trump. It should be spending that money on
• 25:09
  Speaker 10: figuring out how to put water in the reflecting pool.
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: Keep at it, boys. We are close to cracking it.
• 25:17
  Speaker 14: We are.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: You know what? Okay, the money has been spent.
• 25:22
  Speaker 10: Let's see what our sweet, sweet tax dollars are paying for.
• 25:26
  Speaker 10: This is the final battle.
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: With you at my side, we will demolish the deep state.
• 25:31
  Speaker 13: We will expel the warmongers.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: From our government.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: We will drive out the globalists.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: We will cast out the communists, Marxists, and fascists.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: We will throw off the sick political class that hates
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: our country.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Weird. I.
• 25:46
  Speaker 10: I have the exact same inner monologue when I'm walking
• 25:49
  Speaker 10: to the office bathroom.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Very strange.
• 25:54
  Speaker 10: And aside from the legality of it, this ad is
• 25:56
  Speaker 10: making some questionable artistic choices. Look, if you want to
• 26:00
  Speaker 10: film an ad where it looks like Trump fired everyone
• 26:03
  Speaker 10: from the Jennifer Hudson spirit.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Tunnel, fine.
• 26:07
  Speaker 10: But why does it start with a six-second close-up of
• 26:12
  Speaker 10: a storage closet? I mean, is that supposed to be
• 26:18
  Speaker 10: a metaphor for where they're going to lock up the
• 26:20
  Speaker 10: deep state? Or is that like, is that the closet
• 26:23
  Speaker 10: Stephen Miller sleeps in during the day? Or is it
• 26:27
  Speaker 10: just where they're storing the footage they shot that doesn't have.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: A f * * * ing storage closet in it?
• 26:33
  Speaker 10: The point is, spending taxpayer money on a campaign ad
• 26:36
  Speaker 10: is clearly indefensible.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: So, let's see how the White House defensibles it.
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: But the administration rejects such a criticism.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: A White House release declaring, the announcements are very clearly
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: not campaign ads.
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: President Trump is not on the ballot and there is
• 26:50
  Speaker 6: no call to action.
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: Right, right. It can't be a campaign ad because Trump
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: is not even on the ballot.
• 26:57
  Speaker 10: It's just, I feel like I heard someone say something different.
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: So I'm asking you to pretend that I'm on the ballot.
• 27:07
  Speaker 6: I'm on the ballot. I'm on the ballot.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: He didn't just say it.
• 27:12
  Speaker 10: He said it three times in a row. He's trying
• 27:15
  Speaker 10: to Beetlejuice himself onto the balance. But there is one
• 27:20
  Speaker 10: other thing that makes me think this is a campaign ad,
• 27:23
  Speaker 10: which is that this is literally a campaign ad they
• 27:27
  Speaker 10: ran two years ago. It's the exact same footage. And
• 27:32
  Speaker 10: you'd think even just to cover their ass, they would
• 27:35
  Speaker 10: film a new ad, unless they thought about it and
• 27:38
  Speaker 10: were like, you know, we can't do a new ad.
• 27:41
  Speaker 10: That shot of the storage closet is.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: Just too good, you know? We're never gonna top it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 10: I mean, if you didn't, if you didn't want to
• 27:51
  Speaker 10: film a whole new ad, maybe there's a line you
• 27:53
  Speaker 10: could think about cutting.
• 27:55
  Speaker 13: We will expel the warmongers from our government.
• 27:58
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: Yes. Yes.
• 28:01
  Speaker 12: Yes.
• 28:02
  Speaker 10: That warmongers line hits different in 2026, doesn't it? Major O.J.
• 28:09
  Speaker 10: Simpson looking for the real killer vibes on that one.
• 28:13
  Speaker 10: But let's move on to another TV commercial that's stirring
• 28:15
  Speaker 10: up a controversy. This one is definitely a campaign ad,
• 28:18
  Speaker 10: and it comes from the great state of.
• 28:22
  Speaker 10: It comes from the okay state of Arkansas.
• 28:26
  Speaker 9: Sarah Huckabee Sanders releases an ad attacking welfare and MAGA
• 28:30
  Speaker 9: pundits are mad.
• 28:31
  Speaker 6: Me and Brad, Brad has turned relaxing into a full-time profession.
• 28:37
  Speaker 13: But you, you actually work hard.
• 28:40
  Speaker 16: You pay taxes to cover welfare for guys like Brad
• 28:43
  Speaker 16: who just choose not to work.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: Nah, nah, hold on here.
• 28:47
  Speaker 10: Are we, are we sure we want this guy in
• 28:50
  Speaker 10: the workforce?
• 28:51
  Speaker 17: Yes.
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: I don't want Dr.
• 28:53
  Speaker 10: Brad leaving cheese balls inside me after surgery, okay? Why
• 28:58
  Speaker 10: are MAGA pundits mad about this anti-welfare ad?
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: Can we see the rest of it?
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: That's why I launched a welfare-to-work requirement.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: Almost there.
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: Now, more Arkansans are working than ever before.
• 29:11
  Speaker 7: Even Brad.
• 29:18
  Speaker 10: Okay, so the message is welfare cheats should get a job. Now,
• 29:23
  Speaker 10: I really don't see what conservatives are upset about.
• 29:28
  Speaker 9: Daily Wire writer Matt Walsh is saying Republicans don't have
• 29:31
  Speaker 9: the balls to do this ad with, quote, Shaniqua as
• 29:34
  Speaker 9: the villain.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, you know what? I think I'm beginning to... to
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: see it here, but go ahead, say more.
• 29:43
  Speaker 9: Another commentator accused Huckabee Sanders of having, quote, the audacity
• 29:47
  Speaker 9: to dishonestly mock young white men as welfare queens. And
• 29:51
  Speaker 9: one more says that the ad, quote, villainizes a white man.
• 29:54
  Speaker 24: We all know exactly what a stereotypical welfare recipient looks like.
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: Exactly.
• 30:02
  Speaker 10: Stereotypically speaking, you shouldn't show a white man on welfare.
• 30:06
  Speaker 10: You should show a white man who's a school shooter, okay?
• 30:10
  Speaker 10: That would be more appropriate. Do you guys have any
• 30:14
  Speaker 10: more constructive suggestions?
• 30:16
  Speaker 15: Well, what they should have done is they should have had,
• 30:19
  Speaker 15: you know, Brad next to... you know, I don't know,
• 30:24
  Speaker 15: LaQuisha or something, and then just, you know, put in
• 30:27
  Speaker 15: some other characters then, so like your equal opportunity offenders.
• 30:31
  Speaker 10: Okay, well, first of all, Brad's living in his parents' basement.
• 30:36
  Speaker 10: You think he can pull a babe like LaQuisha?
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: Dream on. And also, make the cast more diverse is
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: such a weird argument for this group.
• 30:49
  Speaker 25: There should be a non-binary person in a wheelchair represented
• 30:52
  Speaker 25: there as well. Conservatives are going to angry brainstorm themselves
• 30:57
  Speaker 25: into making Hamilton 2.
• 31:01
  Speaker 10: Obviously, these guys weren't looking to improve anything. They were
• 31:04
  Speaker 10: already on their way to the pity party.
• 31:06
  Speaker 24: It's not a great time to be a strapping young
• 31:09
  Speaker 24: white dude in America. The white man has been systematically
• 31:13
  Speaker 24: discriminated against, locked out of jobs.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: The only group in America that there's no taboo to
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: attack whatsoever is white men.
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: It is tone deaf.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: It is disgraceful.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: This should be taken down.
• 31:25
  Speaker 26: There should be an apology to the young white men
• 31:29
  Speaker 26: in this country.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Fair enough.
• 31:33
  Speaker 10: To all the white men who saw a clip of
• 31:35
  Speaker 10: a guy in his basement contributing nothing to society and
• 31:39
  Speaker 10: you said, hey, stop making fun of me.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: I'm very sorry.
• 31:45
  Speaker 10: Yesterday, after weeks of alarming headlines about artificial intelligence, Trump
• 31:49
  Speaker 10: hosted all the major tech CEOs at the White House.
• 31:53
  Speaker 10: It was like the Last Supper if everyone there believed
• 31:56
  Speaker 10: they were the son of God. And I, for one,
• 32:00
  Speaker 10: am glad they had this summit because I assume it
• 32:03
  Speaker 10: means we'll finally be getting federal guardrails on AI.
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: There will be no federal guardrails on AI.
• 32:10
  Speaker 7: President Trump declaring AI leaders should police themselves.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: You want them to police themselves?
• 32:19
  Speaker 10: Zuckerberg can't even police my aunt from commenting on all
• 32:22
  Speaker 10: of my pictures. This is not a text message, Aunt Diane.
• 32:27
  Speaker 10: You're on my Instagram page. Everyone can see this. So,
• 32:32
  Speaker 10: if there aren't going to be actual regulations, what did
• 32:36
  Speaker 10: they come up with instead?
• 32:38
  Speaker 7: Instead, several companies have signed a voluntary joint agreement suggesting
• 32:42
  Speaker 7: industry leaders should implement internal measures to monitor and check
• 32:45
  Speaker 7: their own AI models.
• 32:47
  Speaker 13: Is it binding in any way? I think it's morally binding, yeah.
• 32:50
  Speaker 7: Oh!
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: Morally binding, sure.
• 32:56
  Speaker 10: We don't need laws. I'm sure we could trust these guys,
• 32:59
  Speaker 10: you know?
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: Well, no, no, not.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: Not him. Okay, not him either, but, well, I... I
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: don't really know who this guy is, so... Yeah, him.
• 33:14
  Speaker 10: Let's entrust him with the future of humanity. I'm sure
• 33:18
  Speaker 10: he's not a monster.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: This guy is a monster, and nobody knows.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Damn it!
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Damn it.
• 33:28
  Speaker 10: I'm not saying that this self-policing document they signed is
• 33:32
  Speaker 10: bullshit that they barely bothered to read, but I will
• 33:35
  Speaker 10: say they did misspell United States.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: You know what?
• 33:41
  Speaker 10: It doesn't matter, because Trump has greater concerns about his
• 33:45
  Speaker 10: new technology.
• 33:46
  Speaker 6: The president is signing an executive order mandating federal agencies
• 33:50
  Speaker 6: rebrand AI as SI.
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: It's been officially changed to super intelligence or SI.
• 33:57
  Speaker 12: Who should be held accountable when the AI agents commit
• 34:01
  Speaker 12: a crime?
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: It's not AI, it's SI. That's the other thing. We've
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: changed the name officially today. We've changed the name, Steve,
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: officially to SI.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Okay? Si, like Si.
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: Sigh indeed, sir. Sigh indeed.
• 34:20
  Speaker 10: Also, just a reminder, the question was, who should be
• 34:24
  Speaker 10: held accountable when AI commits a crime? And Trump's response is, uh-uh.
• 34:31
  Speaker 10: It's SI that shut off your town's water.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: SI!
• 34:35
  Speaker 10: I mean, I know Trump loves renaming things, but these
• 34:39
  Speaker 10: are some of the richest, most powerful people in the world.
• 34:42
  Speaker 10: They're not going to change the name of their entire
• 34:44
  Speaker 10: industry just because he told them to.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: That would be too humiliating.
• 34:48
  Speaker 13: As you know, we want to advance AI, advance SI.
• 34:52
  Speaker 13: I'm going to get good at this.
• 34:53
  Speaker 17: We are bringing those well-known best practices to the development of.
• 34:59
  Speaker 13: Well, I think it is worth highlighting the positive.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Benefits of AI, which will.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: SI, pardon me.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you. We're all f * * * ed.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: So f * * * ed. You know what? Let's
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: move on.
• 35:12
  Speaker 10: Because while Trump was doing his best to screw up
• 35:15
  Speaker 10: the future, the rest of his party was endlessly litigating
• 35:18
  Speaker 10: the past. Yesterday, Senate Republicans hauled in Jack Smith, the
• 35:22
  Speaker 10: special prosecutor who investigated Donald Trump for trying to overthrow
• 35:26
  Speaker 10: the election. And they made their feelings about him pretty clear.
• 35:30
  Speaker 22: The American people were disgusted at your willingness to abuse
• 35:36
  Speaker 22: power in partisan ends. Javert from Les Mis would look
• 35:46
  Speaker 22: at you with astonishment.
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: What a disgrace to our justice system.
• 35:51
  Speaker 26: You will go down as a total dirtbag.
• 35:54
  Speaker 13: You make me want to throw up in my mouth.
• 35:59
  Speaker 10: He makes you want to throw up in your mouth?
• 36:03
  Speaker 10: Like it's an act of choice you're making?
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: Then I'm gonna swish it around a little bit, chew
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: on the chunks. We call that Louisiana Listerine.
• 36:13
  Speaker 10: This hearing was another over-the-top performance by Republican senators to
• 36:18
  Speaker 10: show their fealty to President Trump by going after one
• 36:21
  Speaker 10: of his enemies, who had the gall to prosecute him
• 36:24
  Speaker 10: just because he committed crimes, which in today's Congress is
• 36:29
  Speaker 10: just another Tuesday. But what made yesterday special was when
• 36:32
  Speaker 10: Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt didn't just come with harsh insults.
• 36:36
  Speaker 10: He had prepared a trap for Jack Smith. He was
• 36:39
  Speaker 10: going to prove that Smith had colluded with another Trump-hating
• 36:43
  Speaker 10: prosecutor when they were both together in Atlanta, Georgia. And
• 36:47
  Speaker 10: Eric Schmidt brought the receipts.
• 36:49
  Speaker 8: Republican Senator Eric Schmidt claiming to have text messages proving
• 36:52
  Speaker 8: Smith attended a Hawks basketball game in Atlanta in 2024,
• 36:57
  Speaker 8: during the time Georgia prosecutor Fannie Willis was investigating Trump.
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: Aha.
• 37:02
  Speaker 10: Classic perjury trap. You get Jack Smith to say he
• 37:05
  Speaker 10: wasn't in Atlanta. Then you reveal text messages proving he
• 37:09
  Speaker 10: was at an Atlanta Hawks game.
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: It's a perfect plan.
• 37:13
  Speaker 10: Assuming it was the Atlanta Hawks, you're sure it was
• 37:18
  Speaker 10: an Atlanta Hawks game, right?
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: But it turns out the text messages obtained by Schmidt
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: were not about the Atlanta Hawks NBA game, and Smith
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: was not in Atlanta. He was in Maryland at an
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: Iowa Hawkeyes college game.
• 37:37
  Speaker 10: He confused Atlanta Hawks with the Iowa Hawkeyes. That's like
• 37:42
  Speaker 10: mixing up NASA and NASCAR.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: Dale Earnhardt Jr.
• 37:56
  Speaker 10: were you or were you not on the moon in
• 37:58
  Speaker 10: July 1969?
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: Yes or no?
• 38:02
  Speaker 10: So basically, the senator tried to spring a perjury trap
• 38:05
  Speaker 10: on Jack Smith with evidence that proves that Jack Smith
• 38:08
  Speaker 10: was right. And guys, just watch how excited he was
• 38:13
  Speaker 10: to spring this trap.
• 38:14
  Speaker 26: Did you go to an NBA game between the Golden
• 38:17
  Speaker 26: State Warriors and the Atlanta Hawks on February 3rd, 2024?
• 38:19
  Speaker 26: I'm sorry, could you say that again? Did you go
• 38:26
  Speaker 26: to an NBA game between the Golden State Warriors and
• 38:28
  Speaker 26: the Atlanta Hawks on February 3rd, 2024?
• 38:33
  Speaker 6: What city would that be in?
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: Atlanta.
• 38:36
  Speaker 12: No.
• 38:36
  Speaker 26: Okay.
• 38:44
  Speaker 10: Oh, look at that smirk, you know? He's got that
• 38:47
  Speaker 10: Chris Hansen swagger. You see how this looks, don't you?
• 38:53
  Speaker 10: He probably told his wife, make sure to watch me
• 38:55
  Speaker 10: on TV today, honey. In fact, it would keep the
• 38:58
  Speaker 10: kids home from school so they could tune into C-SPAN.
• 39:01
  Speaker 10: They're going to see daddy's not the loser they think
• 39:03
  Speaker 10: he is. And obviously, Jack Smith was like, I have
• 39:07
  Speaker 10: no idea what you're talking about.
• 39:09
  Speaker 25: To which Schmidt replied, but what if you did have
• 39:12
  Speaker 25: an idea of what I was talking about?
• 39:14
  Speaker 7: Boom!
• 39:15
  Speaker 26: What would you say if I had a series of
• 39:16
  Speaker 26: text messages from your team that said you were in
• 39:19
  Speaker 26: Atlanta at a Warrior Hawks game on February 3rd, 2024,
• 39:22
  Speaker 26: the day after Willis and Wade announced their affair?
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: We need a copy of the actual text.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, God, they're their mistake on a giant poster board.
• 39:35
  Speaker 10: You know the guy at staples was probably like you
• 39:37
  Speaker 10: know what i i know it's not my place but
• 39:39
  Speaker 10: you guys you guys double checked all this.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: Info right.
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: This is a big swing.
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: It's a big swing. And look how happy Schmidt is.
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: And look at Kennedy over here.
• 39:52
  Speaker 10: They're so excited they want to throw up in each
• 39:54
  Speaker 10: other's mouths. I mean, you hate to see their bubble
• 39:59
  Speaker 10: get popped. Let's see their bubble get popped.
• 40:03
  Speaker 17: I recall going to a University of Maryland basketball game
• 40:06
  Speaker 17: where Caitlin Clark was playing, uh, Right around that time,
• 40:11
  Speaker 17: it was Maryland playing Iowa, I think February of 2024.
• 40:17
  Speaker 9: Could it then be that University of Iowa is the Hawkeyes?
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: Could that be it?
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: Could that be it, Eric?
• 40:38
  Speaker 10: Do you need me to explain that in poster form, Eric?
• 40:43
  Speaker 10: I mean, I don't want to say you're embarrassing your
• 40:45
  Speaker 10: Republican colleagues, Senator Schmidt, but look at Senator Katie Britt's
• 40:49
  Speaker 10: face while your case falls apart.
• 40:53
  Speaker 17: I recall going to a University of Maryland basketball game
• 40:57
  Speaker 17: where Caitlin Clark was playing. Right around that time, and
• 41:02
  Speaker 17: the Marshal Service was there with me, you could check
• 41:04
  Speaker 17: if that was the exact date. It was Maryland playing Iowa.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: Are you happy, Eric?
• 41:11
  Speaker 12: Are you happy?
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: Are you happy? You transformed Katie Brand into Mitch McConnell!
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Jane!
• 41:15
  Speaker 7: Jane!
• 41:23
  Speaker 10: Jane!
• 41:24
  Speaker 14: Jane!
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: So basically, Eric Schmidt.
• 41:28
  Speaker 10: Thought he was Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code,
• 41:30
  Speaker 10: when in reality, he's Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump.
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: Shame on you, Eric Schmidt.
• 41:37
  Speaker 10: It's so ironic you neglected women's basketball, and now Amy
• 41:41
  Speaker 10: Klobuchar gets to dunk on you.
• 41:44
  Speaker 9: That might be the confusion over the names of the team,
• 41:46
  Speaker 9: but perhaps you should have looked at it more carefully.
• 41:49
  Speaker 26: Whose questioning is this, by the way, Mr.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Chairman?
• 41:52
  Speaker 13: Are you using your time, Senator?
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: Is this what this is?
• 41:55
  Speaker 14: Are we just having like an open session here?
• 41:59
  Speaker 26: Well, I'm glad you're trying to rehabilitate the witness, but
• 42:02
  Speaker 26: it's not your time.
• 42:03
  Speaker 14: I presented him with text messages about him wanting to
• 42:08
  Speaker 14: meet with people that could have obviously been related to
• 42:11
  Speaker 14: the prosecution that was coordinated with his office in Atlanta.
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: Look how red he's getting.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:19
  Speaker 25: He's like, hey, there was a world where this worked, okay?
• 42:23
  Speaker 25: If I hadn't been wrong about everything, this would have
• 42:25
  Speaker 25: been awesome.
• 42:28
  Speaker 10: Now, obviously, Senator Schmidt spent the rest of the day
• 42:32
  Speaker 10: running away from the news media. But because this is 2026,
• 42:37
  Speaker 10: he could always go to the right wing media where
• 42:39
  Speaker 10: everyone can pretend he did a great job.
• 42:42
  Speaker 15: Dang. So you had text messages from his team confirming
• 42:47
  Speaker 15: that he was going to a Hawks game and he
• 42:49
  Speaker 15: sat there acting dumbfounded and completely clueless. Senator Schmidt, you
• 42:53
  Speaker 15: did a great job. So gotta give you some flowers here, sir.
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: Jesus Christ.
• 43:00
  Speaker 10: It's like telling the captain of the Titanic, great job,
• 43:03
  Speaker 10: that iceberg, bro.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: Number one.
• 43:07
  Speaker 10: So the most depressing thing about what happened yesterday is
• 43:10
  Speaker 10: that two things happened yesterday. In one reality, the Republicans
• 43:14
  Speaker 10: are so desperate to punish Trump's enemies that they embarrass
• 43:17
  Speaker 10: themselves in front of the world.
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: While in the other reality, a heroic.
• 43:21
  Speaker 10: Senator proved that Trump's prosecutors are evil liars.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: If we're going to.
• 43:26
  Speaker 10: Be this willing to live in such separate realities, then,
• 43:30
  Speaker 10: you know what?
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, guys.
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: Maybe we should be ruled by AI.
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: It's not AI, it's SSI.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Sorry, SI, my bad.
• 43:45
  Speaker 10: First off, it's Hispanic Heritage Month, and if you didn't know,
• 43:48
  Speaker 10: it actually goes from September 15th to October 15th. It's
• 43:53
  Speaker 10: nice to see at least our calendar still allows Hispanics
• 43:56
  Speaker 10: to cross a border. So, yesterday, Trump held an event
• 44:02
  Speaker 10: at the White House to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month, which
• 44:05
  Speaker 10: he definitely did because he loves them so much and
• 44:08
  Speaker 10: not because he's losing their support right before the midterms.
• 44:13
  Speaker 10: Either way, Trump had a special honor he was ready
• 44:16
  Speaker 10: to bestow upon his amigos.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: We're going to do something a little special.
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: We're going to open those doors, and you'll be the
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: first people, of consequence, to ever step on the new
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: ballroom floor.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: Wow!
• 44:34
  Speaker 10: They get to tour the unfinished, half-built ballroom site! Yes!
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: Don't fall for it, guys.
• 44:41
  Speaker 10: He's obviously trying to trick you into finishing the construction.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Come on in.
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: Come on in.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Come on in.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Grab a hard hat. Lunch breaks from 1.30 to 1.40, guys.
• 44:59
  Speaker 10: But look, this was a room full of Trump supporters,
• 45:01
  Speaker 10: so I'm sure they were psyched to see the ballroom.
• 45:04
  Speaker 10: And there's nothing Trump could do to dampen that excitement,
• 45:08
  Speaker 10: even though he tried his best.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: You literally will be the first group ever to enter
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: the premises.
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: So be very careful. Don't fall over the edge because
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: it's a long way down. And only a Hispanic could
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: survive that fall. I'm sorry, what?
• 45:34
  Speaker 10: Is that a racial stereotype I'm not aware of?
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: That Hispanics are good.
• 45:40
  Speaker 10: At surviving long falls? For a man who started out
• 45:45
  Speaker 10: labeling Hispanics as murderers and rapists to end up at bouncy?
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: That's progress, okay?
• 45:53
  Speaker 10: Let's move on, because terrible poll numbers with Hispanics isn't
• 45:57
  Speaker 10: the only thing dragging Trump down. He also has terrible
• 46:00
  Speaker 10: poll numbers with people who don't like losing wars. The
• 46:03
  Speaker 10: good news for Trump is that he has Pete Hegseth,
• 46:06
  Speaker 10: Secretary of Defense and guy who takes paintball way too seriously.
• 46:11
  Speaker 10: And yesterday, Hegseth got up in front of the official
• 46:14
  Speaker 10: flag of not compensating for anything to lay out his
• 46:18
  Speaker 10: plan to take our military to the next level.
• 46:22
  Speaker 13: We are no longer the woke department or the weak department.
• 46:26
  Speaker 21: Simple translation of that, no fatties, no trannies, no beardos,
• 46:32
  Speaker 21: no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: Whoa. Wow.
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: Worst Dr. Seuss book ever.
• 46:43
  Speaker 7: Whoa.
• 46:52
  Speaker 10: I will say this kind of rhetoric is unacceptable from
• 46:55
  Speaker 10: our defense secretary. Every American, no matter who they are
• 46:59
  Speaker 10: or what they look like, should have the chance to
• 47:01
  Speaker 10: fight a Middle Eastern country for no clear reason.
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: That's the American way. That's a mission. You know what?
• 47:11
  Speaker 10: Not to mention, it probably would help if our military
• 47:14
  Speaker 10: had at least a few beardos and weirdos, right? I mean,
• 47:17
  Speaker 10: what if Iran challenges us to Dungeons and Dragons? We
• 47:21
  Speaker 10: need at least one druid in the party.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: Huzzah!
• 47:25
  Speaker 10: But, but Hegseth really believes we need a more macho,
• 47:29
  Speaker 10: aggressive military because, as he's told us before, our enemies
• 47:33
  Speaker 10: in Iran are uniquely evil.
• 47:35
  Speaker 13: Obviously, we're fighting religious fanatics.
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: Of course.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 47:40
  Speaker 10: We are in a fight against religious fanaticism. And how
• 47:43
  Speaker 10: are we going to defeat these religious fanatics?
• 47:47
  Speaker 21: Our department is, you might say, putting on the full
• 47:49
  Speaker 21: armor of God.
• 47:50
  Speaker 13: The sixth chapter of the book of Isaiah. Lord, here
• 47:54
  Speaker 13: I am. Send me. As the psalmist put it. The
• 47:59
  Speaker 13: Lord is on my side.
• 48:00
  Speaker 21: As Psalm 3312 extols us.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes. We know Psalm 3312. No fatties, no trannies,
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: no beardos, no weirdos. Amen. We know. We've all read
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: the Bible. We get it.
• 48:16
  Speaker 10: But Pete Hanks didn't get up in front of an
• 48:19
  Speaker 10: enormous flag and pace around like he was coming down
• 48:22
  Speaker 10: from a cocaine bender just to talk about how he
• 48:25
  Speaker 10: wanted his soldiers to be hotter and more religious. He
• 48:29
  Speaker 10: also was launching a new high-tech initiative for the next generation.
• 48:33
  Speaker 21: I'm announcing Project Meridian, an effort led by America's best
• 48:37
  Speaker 21: minds to study.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: The future of warfare.
• 48:42
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 48:43
  Speaker 10: That's certainly not the worst idea he's ever had. I mean,
• 48:47
  Speaker 10: for one thing, it's the first idea that doesn't have
• 48:50
  Speaker 10: slurs in it, so we're already ahead of the curve.
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: As long as these.
• 48:55
  Speaker 10: Best minds studying the future of war really are the
• 48:59
  Speaker 10: best minds America has.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, they are the best minds, right?
• 49:04
  Speaker 21: Project Meridian will be co-led by three of our nation's
• 49:09
  Speaker 21: best minds.
• 49:11
  Speaker 13: Elon Musk... Homer Luckey, and Newt Gingrich.
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: Newt Gingrich? Your list of America's top minds includes Newt.
• 49:25
  Speaker 6: F * * * ing Gingrich?
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: He's not even America's top Newt!
• 49:40
  Speaker 10: What future war is Newt Gingrich going to help us with?
• 49:44
  Speaker 10: We better hope it involves preventing Bill Clinton from acquiring
• 49:48
  Speaker 10: nuclear BJs. Okay, so that's one-third of our brain trust,
• 49:53
  Speaker 10: and Elon Musk, we already know, excellent choice.
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: But who's this Palmer Lucky?
• 50:01
  Speaker 6: Palmer Lucky isn't your typical defense industry executive.
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop. what happened
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: to no beardos no weirdos.
• 50:18
  Speaker 10: Come on that's the first rule psalm 33 12 he
• 50:22
  Speaker 10: must have been like oh this oh that's not a
• 50:25
  Speaker 10: beard my my pubes just escaped out of the top
• 50:28
  Speaker 10: of my shirt you know.
• 50:31
  Speaker 9: Seriously who is this guy His daily uniform, flip-flops and
• 50:35
  Speaker 9: a Hawaiian shirt, is more suited for Margaritaville than the military.
• 50:40
  Speaker 16: I've always said that we need to transition from being
• 50:42
  Speaker 16: the world police to being the world gun store.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 50:48
  Speaker 10: I'm sorry, this human vape pen is a military consultant?
• 50:53
  Speaker 10: I didn't expect to see this guy working with the military.
• 50:56
  Speaker 10: I expect to see him as the youngest person at
• 50:58
  Speaker 10: a Jimmy Buffett concert or the oldest person at a
• 51:01
  Speaker 10: Wiggles concert.
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: Now, if you're wondering, how did.
• 51:07
  Speaker 10: GameStop Gaddafi even get his start? Well, he actually invented
• 51:12
  Speaker 10: the Oculus VR headset when he was only 19.
• 51:15
  Speaker 4: And that's him. This guy invented VR.
• 51:19
  Speaker 10: Goggles when he was only a teenager, despite being totally
• 51:22
  Speaker 10: busy with, like, tons of parties he was invited to. So, frankly,
• 51:28
  Speaker 10: I don't have much faith in this smash-mouth cover band.
• 51:34
  Speaker 10: Bringing the military into the future. But here's how bad
• 51:37
  Speaker 10: things have gotten. I'm looking at these three and I'm thinking,
• 51:41
  Speaker 10: thank God Elon Musk is there to be the adult
• 51:44
  Speaker 10: in them.