Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 35 – Five Love Languages

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Ep. 35 – Five Love Languages · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am Comedy Wood and I'm thrilled that you have tuned in today.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: For those of you who are unfamiliar with who I am, I am first and foremost the mom of five, but professionally I'm a certified life coach that works with individuals on healing that relationship with themselves, ending the outsourcing of self-worth all in an effort to have success and happiness as my clients define it for themselves in business and in their personal lives.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about being engaged in your life, living the life that you want to live, and really ending the box checking of it all.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Today I wanted to dive into a topic that has been popping up more and more in conversation, not just in client sessions, but just with people in general.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about the term the love languages.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the term the five love languages was introduced in 1995 by a marriage counselor by the name of Gary Chapman.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And in the book, he explains how couples and um how couples meet one another's needs for affection and connection.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can actually understand how our partner relates and how what their love language is, it makes it a little bit easier in terms of finding that common ground, really being able to understand our partner's pattern and what they how they feel loved, how they interpret love for themselves and feel that appreciation and feel that connection because we all feel it in a different way.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the different love languages that he talks about are words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So again, what does it take for a person to feel loved?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, truly, all of us, we have our own thoughts, and our thoughts become our reality.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so different people express love in different ways and they also receive love in different ways.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if somebody has a preference to a particular love language, for instance, they may not feel the same level of love if you're not speaking their language, so to speak.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So problems in relationships will often stem from these different ways that partners show and receive love.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, if you personally express affection in one way, but your partner doesn't actually receive it in that way that that is equivalent to what they would say is love, they may or may not recognize.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So the the five love languages, and Gary Chapman has an actual online test that's free, but it's a way for people to go on and take take the online test and then figure out how they how they what is their love language.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the different love languages.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: First, we have the words of affirmation.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Although we tend to believe that it's not really say, it's not really about what we say, but it's about what we do that counts.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: For some people, you know, words of affirmation are actually their love language.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: For these people, words do actually matter.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: When people who speak words of affirmation as their love language, they uh feel deeply connected to their partner after hearing certain phrases.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: So something as simple as I love you or I see you can mean the world to people whose love language is words of affirmation.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: They really need to feel appreciated, and the world those words of affirmation give them the recognition that makes them feel loved, makes them feel desired, makes them feel seen.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if you speak this love language and you really need to hear your partner say like a few kind words so that you can really feel loved and appreciated, it would be really helpful to be able to communicate that.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: So understanding that if that's how you interpret love and being able to communicate that to your partner, it takes out that gray area.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: A second love language is gift giving.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Identifying with the love language of gift giving doesn't mean that you're you're necessarily selfish or greedy.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: But what it means is that when you cater to this love language, it you know, it doesn't, it doesn't even mean that if you if you have this love language or if you're catering to this love language, you have to like come up with these elaborate gifts or expensive gifts.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's it's the it's how people interpret thoughtfulness.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: For instance, if they if their love language is gift-giving, they feel thought about.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be, I mean, the gift could be as simple as just like picking flowers, you know, on a walk and giving them to your partner and letting them know through that gift that you were thinking of them.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so for those whose love language really thrives on this thoughtfulness and the effort behind the gift, it's not really the materialistic gift.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's the effort and the thought behind the gift that really makes the gift-giving love language about it, it comes back to feeling cared for and and thought of.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if you speak the gift-giving language and you're using gifts to send your partner a message that you think of them and care for them, that's your language.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just really important to recognize is that really your partner's language?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if it is your language and your partner doesn't know that, again, it comes back to communicating that to them.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Third, love language is acts of service.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if acts of service is a love language that resonates with you, it's you value actions more than words.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's what proves to you that you are important to your partner.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, the acts of service could be as simple as cooking a meal or taking out the trash or taking the kids to school or helping out with a household chore.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Those acts of service really mean the world to you.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so for those people who speak this love language, just taking care of those small details from day-to-day life really speak to you and really make you feel loved.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And again, if this is your love language, important to communicate it to your partner.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And likewise, if your partner has this as their love language, important to know because then you know that if you just help out once or like a little bit around the house, it's gonna go a really long way.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that in your partner's gonna feel truly seen and loved.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth love language is quality time.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: If your partner speaks this love language more than anything else in the world, they just love your undivided attention.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's about spending time together, not with the cell phones on and not with the TV on, but truly just spending quality time together, carving out that time with your partner, giving them your full attention and focus.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about being together, paying attention, hearing, actively hearing one another.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's taking a walk, maybe it's preparing dinner together, uh, but it's really about just letting your partner know that you're there.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then the fifth one is physical touch.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And physical touch, let's be clear here, it's not just about physical intimacy.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's about, you know, the partner who grabs your hand, um, you know, just hand holding, a hug, quick snuggle.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's just about those, for those people, that physical touch is a very powerful way to communicate love that can just quickly soothe any anxiety or fear that might be coming up, and they just feel loved in that moment.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, really important to understand that we all express love in different ways.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: We receive love in different ways.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Really important to recognize that our partner may not receive love or express love in the same exact way that we do, which is when that loving, kind, thoughtful communication, we have to call on that and communicate to our partner.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is how I really receive love, and we have to be open to how our partner receives it as well.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're dealing with relationship issues and would like some support or want to talk through what's coming up for you, feel free to reach out to me.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: You can easily book a time to call to talk to talk to me at chatwithcomony.com.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you want some more information on things like the five love languages or just relationship things that are popping up, uh, feel free to hop over to my website, comedywood.com.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: There is a blog there.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have several different articles that I've been posting about.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: So again, until next time, I look forward to seeing you, hearing you, talking to you.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Comedy Wood.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take care.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Life happens for you, not to you.