Latest / Closing the Deal with Fexingo: Sales, Negotiation, and Revenue Conversations for Operators / The One Word That Kills Your Negotiating Position
Transcript
- Lucas: There's one word salespeople use constantly that quietly destroys their leverage. It sounds polite, reasonable, collaborative. And it costs them tens of thousands of dollars a year. Luna: Let me guess. Is it 'fair'? Lucas: Bingo. I recently listened to a recorded call from a SaaS company — a rep was negotiating a hundred thousand dollar annual contract. And by my count, he said the word 'fair' seven times in a twenty-minute conversation. Luna: Seven times? That's almost once every three minutes. Lucas: And every time he said it, he gave the prospect permission to question the price. Let me play you the worst one. The prospect says, 'We were thinking more like eighty-five.' And the rep replies: 'I think ninety-five is a fair compromise.' Luna: Ouch. He's already conceding that his own number needs justification. Lucas: Exactly. He's saying, 'My price isn't inherently right — I'm just proposing something reasonable.' But that's not how negotiation works. The moment you frame your price as 'fair,' you invite the other side to argue about what fair means. And they will always define it lower than you. Luna: So what should he have said instead? Lucas: Let's come back to that. First, let's talk about why 'fair' feels so natural. I think it's because we've been trained by decades of win-win negotiation theory to sound collaborative. But the research from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard shows that anchoring — not fairness — is what actually drives outcomes. Luna: Right. The first number in the room sets the range. Lucas: And 'fair' is an anchor-killer. When you say 'I think this is a fair price,' you're actually weakening your own anchor. You're signaling that you're open to adjustment. The prospect doesn't hear collaboration — they hear uncertainty. Luna: I've seen this play out on the other side too. A few years ago, I was buying a software platform for my team. The rep kept saying 'we want to be fair to you.' And honestly, it made me suspicious. I thought, 'Why are you selling me on your fairness? Just tell me the price and stand behind it.' Lucas: That's the paradox. The more you try to sound fair, the less trustworthy you become. Because the customer's brain picks up on the defensive posture. Luna: So what's the fix? Give us the alternative. Lucas: The alternative is to replace 'fair' with 'standard' or 'typical.' Or better yet, reference the value. So instead of 'I think ninety-five is fair,' you say: 'For the outcomes our clients typically see, ninety-five is where we land. Let me show you the ROI analysis that supports it.' Luna: That's a completely different conversation. You're not defending — you're educating. Lucas: And you're anchoring to value, not to a subjective standard of fairness. The word 'fair' is subjective. 'Standard' implies market reality. It's a small shift, but it changes the entire dynamic. Luna: I want to go back to that rep who said it seven times. Did he end up closing the deal? Lucas: He did. At eighty-five. He gave away fifty thousand dollars in margin, plus the ongoing uplift. His manager was furious because the product was differentiated and the prospect had no real alternative. The rep just didn't know how to hold the line. Luna: So the word 'fair' cost him fifty grand. That's a expensive vocabulary lesson. Lucas: Right. And here's the thing — the rep thought he was being collaborative. He thought he was building trust. But he was actually training the prospect to push further. Luna: You know, this is exactly the kind of conversation that, if it's been useful to you, might be worth the price of a coffee to keep going. If today's episode moved your thinking, there's a link — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's it. No upsell, no list. Lucas: Yeah, honestly, listener support is what lets us keep this ad-free and zero-fluff. So if this helped you save fifty thousand on your next deal, that link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. And now back to the word 'fair' — there's a specific psychological mechanism at work here that makes it so damaging. Luna: Okay, lay it on us. Lucas: It's called the norm of reciprocity. When you say 'I'm being fair to you,' you're implicitly asking the prospect to be fair back. But in negotiation, the prospect's definition of 'fair' is almost always lower than yours. So you're actually inviting them to set a lower anchor. Luna: So the word 'fair' triggers a counter-anchor. Lucas: Exactly. And once that lower number is in the air, it's very hard to pull the conversation back up. The rep I mentioned — by the time he said 'fair' the third time, the prospect had already anchored at eighty-five. And the rep spent the rest of the call trying to negotiate up from eighty-five instead of down from a hundred. Luna: What about when the prospect says 'I just want a fair deal'? That happens all the time. Lucas: That's a different situation. When the prospect says it, they're usually signaling that they don't want to feel taken advantage of. Your job is to reframe it. You can say: 'I want you to feel good about this deal. Let's make sure the value is clear so that fair takes care of itself.' Luna: That's smart. You're acknowledging their concern without adopting their language. Lucas: And you're redirecting to value. Because a deal that's full of value is inherently fair. You don't need to say the word. Luna: I've actually started tracking my own language in calls. I realized I use 'fair' when I'm uncomfortable with silence. It's a filler word that sounds substantive. Lucas: That's a great observation. Silence is powerful in negotiation. The moment you fill it with 'fair,' you're giving away information. You're saying, 'I'm not entirely confident in my position.' Luna: So the practical takeaway for our listeners: catch yourself before you say 'fair.' Pause. Replace it with 'standard,' 'typical,' or just state the price without qualifiers. Lucas: And if you're on a call and you hear yourself say it, don't panic. You can recover. Just follow it with a value statement. Like, 'I think that's fair — and here's why it's also a great investment based on the ROI we've seen.' Luna: Can we talk about email too? Because I see 'fair' in pricing emails all the time. Lucas: Oh, it's even worse in writing. Because the prospect can read it multiple times. If you write 'We believe this is a fair proposal,' you're giving them a reason to scrutinize every line item. Instead, write: 'This proposal reflects the standard terms for a solution of this scope.' Luna: That's so much stronger. It's declarative. Lucas: It is. And it's based on data. There's a study from the Kellogg School of Management that found negotiators who used value-anchoring language — like 'standard' or 'typical' — achieved final prices that were, on average, twelve percent higher than those who used fairness language. Luna: Twelve percent. On a hundred thousand dollar deal, that's twelve grand. On a million, it's a hundred and twenty thousand. Lucas: Exactly. And it's not just about the number. It's about the relationship. When you use 'fair,' you're setting up a dynamic where the prospect feels entitled to negotiate. When you use 'standard,' you're signaling that this is how business works. And most people don't argue with market standards. Luna: Unless they have data that says otherwise. Lucas: Right, and if they do, you want that data on the table. But you want to control the frame. Don't let them define what's fair. Define what's standard based on your experience and outcomes. Luna: I want to try an exercise. Let's role-play a quick scenario. I'm the prospect, and I say: 'Your price seems high. Can you do better?' Lucas: Okay. Old Lucas would say: 'I think we're already offering a fair price given the market.' New Lucas says: 'Our price is based on the outcomes we deliver. Let me walk you through the ROI model so you can see how the investment pays for itself inside twelve months.' Luna: That's night and day. The first response is defensive. The second is confident and helpful. Lucas: And the second response doesn't invite a counter. It invites a discussion about value. That's where you want to be. Luna: One more thing: what about when you're negotiating internally? Like when you're asking your boss for a discount to close a deal. Lucas: Same rule applies. Don't say 'I think a discount is fair because the prospect is pushing.' Instead say: 'Based on our typical close rates for this segment, a fifteen percent discount would put us in line with market standards and increase our win probability by twenty percent.' Luna: So you're using the same language internally that you use externally. That's consistent. Lucas: Consistency builds trust. And it trains your own brain to stop defaulting to fairness and start defaulting to value. Luna: Alright, I'm officially banning the word 'fair' from my vocabulary for the next thirty days. Lucas: I'll do it with you. And we'll report back on how many times we almost slipped. Luna: Deal. For our listeners: try it for just one week. Every time you catch yourself about to say 'fair,' substitute it with 'standard' or a value statement. See what happens to your close rates. Lucas: And if you have a story about how this changed a negotiation, we'd love to hear it. Send it in — we might feature it on a future episode. Luna: Next time on Closing the Deal: we're looking at the psychology of 'just' — as in 'I just need a little more off.' That tiny word is a cousin of 'fair,' and it's equally dangerous. Lucas: That's a great one. See you then.