Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / Ep 34 - From Addiction to Freedom: Mike’s Journey to Jesus

Transcript

Ep 34 - From Addiction to Freedom: Mike’s Journey to Jesus · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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If you've ever wondered whether God can redeem a story as
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shattered as yours, today's conversation is for you.
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After everything Mike has survived and everything he ran
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from, he didn't just find recovery.
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He found a relationship with Jesus that completely reshaped
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his identity, his purpose, and the way that he walks through
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the world. And today, he's here to share
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his journey with us. Welcome to Unmasked, where we
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take off the filters and get real about faith, failure, and
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finding freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
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Farnsworth, a dad, veteran, author, and a man who's learned
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that God does his best work in the middle of our mess.
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Each episode will have honest conversations with people who've
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walked through addiction, pain, or doubt, and with pastors,
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leaders, and everyday believers who are learning to live and
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lead authentically. So take a breath, pull up a
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chair, and let's get real. This is Unmasked.
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Today on Unmasked, I'm joined by Mike, who has lived through more
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than most of us could imagine. Yet what stands out most today
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is not the weight of his past, but the depths of his
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transformation. Raised in small town Iowa with
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early roots in the church, his life took him through addiction,
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broken relationships, incarceration, and seasons where
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faith dealt and seasons where faith felt distant and
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mechanical. But through the steady pursuit
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of Jesus and community, he discovered and Celebrate
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Recovery. Mike experienced a renewal that
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moved his faith from something he knew in his head to something
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that he lives from in his heart. Today, he walks with intentional
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joy and passion for prayer and a desire to help others find the
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same freedom that he's found. So today, Unmasked, he's here to
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share his incredible story of transformation.
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Mike, thank you so much for being with us on Unmasked.
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Thank you for having me. This is my first podcast ever.
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I'm Mike, a grateful believer in Jesus and I am from like he
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said, small town Iowa, population 400, including cats
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and dogs because they're family too.
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And I don't know, I, I grew up in the church I grew up with,
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with God centered in our, my whole relationship, like every
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relationship I had was based on the church.
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My mom was the youth group leader.
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My grandpa was the music leader. I worship leader, I guess you
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would call him. My grandma taught Sunday school
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and she taught adult Sunday school and did Bible studies and
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there was morning devotionals and everything like that.
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And yeah, I, I just, I, I grew up in the church.
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I loved it. It was, it was my identity.
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And even when my mom, like even after her divorce, like when she
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kind of fell off, I was still going, I mean, three days a
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week, we were there for sure. And any, anytime the doors were
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open pretty much. I guess my childhood starts off
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like any, any other childhood. You know, I have a single mom,
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but we lived right next door to my grandparents and had a great
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relationship with all of them. I mean, they all, they all
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taught me, right? I'm the one that went and did
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wrong, you know, And as I was getting older, I had had quite a
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few concussions, stuff like that, car accidents.
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I jumped off the back of a tractor, split my head open. 30
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days after that I had a stroke, ended up in Iowa City.
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And it, it messed me up for a while.
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But yeah, my mom had gotten married.
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And so I was so ingrained in the church, I was part of this band
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called Good News Singers. Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't a
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band. It was a it's a youth choir.
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And my stepdad wasn't exactly. He didn't have a lot of faith in
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anything but alcohol and drugs. And anyway, he had when the IT
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all went bad, he had gotten really angry with me.
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And he had sent me to my room. And I think I was 1011 years
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old. And I went in there and I
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cranked up like us singing. We had tapes that were made
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because our church recorded every service.
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So I cranked up the tapes. So I was singing just honestly
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just to annoy him like and like, it made me feel better though.
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And then that's, that's the day it all went to crap.
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I, my mom, who was pregnant at the time, that that day she got
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beat into a miscarriage. And it was, it was rough.
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I got sent to my grandparents house, but I could see through
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the window, you know, into, into art.
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Like I said, we were neighbors, you know, and I, I watched a lot
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of crazy things go down, guns drawn, stuff like that.
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And then, and then like, I remember like had gotten angry,
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angry about everything all the time.
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And it was about a week later I got called at school and they,
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they pulled me out of school and told me to walk straight to my
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grandparents house. And I'm like, OK, so I walked
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straight to my grandparents house and I walked in there and
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like all his guns were on the, the bed and they had the windows
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closed and the doors locked. And they're like, things are
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going down today. And then that's when my DARE
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officer, ironically, was one of the officers that came and
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arrested my stepdad after work. But I was just angry all the
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time. Then a few more concussions
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later, freshman year, it was my last major concussion.
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I was in a car accident. I was riding with my girlfriend
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home. We had, she was giving me a ride
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because we had gotten our pizza sales and I had all my stuff.
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So she's like, you ain't got to ride the bus.
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I could be riding. We ended up in a head on car
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accident. Yeah, pretty well crushed my
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right side. And so I was out of school for a
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while. Broken ribs, broken leg, this
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big scar that goes, I don't know if you can see it, but this big
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scar that goes through here, that's where my head went to the
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windshield, broke it. And I was, I was 14 at the time,
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you know, but I got put on a lot of painkillers and stuff like
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that and, and pills that they said I'd have to take for life,
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which I, I don't have to take anymore.
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That's, that's definitely a God move right there.
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But anyway, yeah, so the further I got into high school, the
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further the devil and spiritual warfare really attacked me.
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Because I remember the day that I accepted Christ was November
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2nd or November 7th, 1992. And it was the prank, Gonzalez's
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trumpet evangelist that came to our church.
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And I went and I prayed and I came out my mom's like, how do
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you feel? And I was like, like a weight
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has been lifted, you know, and, and it was just, I don't know.
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I can't, I can't describe that feeling when you accepted
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Christ, you know, the feeling, you know, you know what I'm
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saying? Like there's there's no no
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feeling that compares to it, even though we'll go a little
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later in the story. And I tried many ways to get
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that same feeling and didn't. But anyway, I kept going up high
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school. I couldn't play sports anymore.
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So I was still angry and I I wasn't blaming God, but I just,
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I didn't know the path. And then I got the first drug I
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ever did was I had found some tobacco and it was laced with
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black tar heroin. So I skipped all the gateway
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drugs and went straight into it. And that that feeling that I had
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back in 1992, like I had like a glimpse of it.
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You know, I guess I seen a lot of hypocrisy in in the church
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and I seen things that that didn't make me feel good about
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things, you know, like profess to be one thing and then it's to
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the total opposite. Or when somebody messes up,
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they're cast out, you know, like we're I've seen the church be
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the first one to shoot. They're wounded, you know, and
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it just it, it just didn't fit right with me.
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And then because I was into drugs, I happened to happened to
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be in a situation where I watched a guy, a drug addict,
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literally had nothing. This girl was about to leave a
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house and he took his coat off and gave her his coat.
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And like, like, that's what Jesus said, you know, I had all
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this Bible knowledge, all this had knowledge.
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Like that's when I was old. You clothed me when I was in
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jail. You, you visited me when I was
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hungry. You fed me and I was and I just
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saw this and in the drug world and looking back now, I see the
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spiritual warfare of it, like seeing what I had read, all that
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head knowledge that had to hit my heart, seeing what I had read
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about in the Bible and what Sunday school and in the
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wonderful Sunday school classes I had as a teenager with her.
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Meyer, God rest his soul, that man, he made me do some growing
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before I was ready for it spiritually.
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And we've had some some debates, some great conversations like
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that man did a lot for my spiritual walk.
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But anyway, yeah, push come to shove, I seen that.
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And then I was, I was off to the races, you know, and I, I got
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super involved with it, so much so that when something was going
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down, I was 17 the first time I got shot and I went and knocked
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on a door because my friends had get the money that was owed on
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and they were going to come to the back door.
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And dude came out with a sawed off shotgun.
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And I Sprint and I caught 3 pellets in my left butt cheek.
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And then I moved out early because, like, I had some extra
8:25
money. I had a job, you know, which
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covered for like all the excess money that I was spending cash
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wise. So nobody was really the wiser.
8:33
And anytime I had to take a drug test, like I was still on
8:36
painkillers because I, I was in a lot of pain all the time.
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I was on amitriptyline. I was on.
8:42
Yeah. So it showed up.
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I had an excuse, you know, And anyway, I'm moving out wasn't
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exactly the best thing. And when I was 18, I caught.
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I caught 380 in the shoulder off a ricochet and instead of going
8:56
to the doctor like a responsible person should, my roommate dug
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it out with a butter knife. And there's obviously some drugs
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and alcohol involved when that went down and good thing it was
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a ricochet because it wasn't in too deep.
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But still. Like this whole time I was
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working with my mom at at a nursing home.
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We weren't working the same shift except for weekends but
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she was so busy wrapped. I like it.
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Being understaffed, you didn't see a lot of things, you know,
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And then if I was ever you aid like I had the excuse, you know,
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I was on painkillers. Anyway, at one point I I woke up
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in a bathtub. And this is like the first time
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I started thinking about getting clean.
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I woke up in a bathtub and I'd been in it for three days.
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You know, I was just out of it. My roommate and his girlfriend
9:38
were standing over me. And they're like, hey, you need
9:41
rehab. And I was like, no, I don't, you
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know, I was like, I'll just, I'll stop doing H man, it's all
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right. So unfortunately I, I went from
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Downers to uppers. And then, yeah, there was just,
9:54
it's a long time. Like I had a family, I had kids,
9:58
I'd gotten married. I'm not, I'm not going to speak
10:00
on anything my ex-wife did, but she was right there while I was
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using, you know, like that's, that's essentially what tore us
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apart. And we weren't centered.
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We weren't centered with God. Like it wasn't a, a quarter 3
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strands. It was just me and her versus
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the world, which is a good feeling until it's not.
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And like the drugs like they feel great till they don't and
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then they're horrible, you know. And so I started whiling out and
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my ex-wife was telling me that hey, you need to slow down
10:28
you're doing too much. And I didn't I didn't and I
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uprooted our whole family moved us to another town was working
10:35
at a co-owner of a construction company and cops came over to my
10:39
house a few times about some of my employees.
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I never expected them to come after me.
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But then then I bought a guitar from someone and my ex-wife was
10:47
pretty mad about it. So I took it down to Bob's
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guitars and our, our local guitar plays and I sold it to
10:53
them And it, it was a pretty expensive guitar and I sold to
10:57
him for what I paid for it and find out it was stolen.
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So we got raided. And like, that should have been
11:03
a great wake up call. I had 45 years over my head.
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I, I was on the front page of a lot of papers, you know, like
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local house out with guns and drugs.
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And they weren't lying, you know, like it was me.
11:15
And so I had a lot of time over my head and so I, I wasn't going
11:19
to make my ex-wife wait. So I divorced her.
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And then God licks his fingers in it.
11:24
And I get to sentencing after I pled guilty to all this stuff,
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you know, because like I, I can't deny it, you know, like
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I'm caught red handed. You know, I took you guys
11:33
straight to the stop. Anyway, I get into the
11:35
sentencing and the, the judge says six months in the halfway
11:39
house or until Max benefits is received.
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And I'm like, what? You know, like that's I, I
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should have gotten 45 years like I am, I'm not going to
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unfortunately, those 45 years and I had just totally changed
11:52
my entire life around. I at that point had five, four
11:56
kids, 4 kids and you know, it's signed pretty much overall
11:59
custody, everything like that because I was going away, You
12:02
know, I was, I was prepped for it.
12:04
And then it just, that was a God move.
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You know, that should have been my wake up call, but I'm hard
12:09
headed. It takes me a little bit.
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So I ended up in the halfway house in Marshalltown.
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And I don't know if the listeners know about
12:17
Marshalltown, but that's probably the wrong place to go
12:20
if you're into what I was into. And I met all the right people
12:24
at all the wrong times or all the wrong people at all the
12:27
right times. I guess I got released and I
12:30
was, I was in the thick of it again.
12:32
And I, I always lived up to the honor code.
12:36
I, I, I really do like Old Testament laws.
12:38
Like, I, I mean, it's Rashido, if you want to call it that.
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If you're samurai Spartan, you know, do everything with honor,
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you know, help. And then, yeah, I ended up
12:50
having another kid and with my, my Sally sister and that didn't
12:56
work out. And that, that I wasn't ready
12:58
for that, that breakup. I, I called my mom, my poor mom,
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like 3 in the morning. And that, that was the, the
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first time I felt the lowest, you know, like that was an all
13:08
new low because I wasn't expecting it with my ex-wife.
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I knew it was coming because I was getting sent away.
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You know, I was doing the right thing for her.
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But this one, it was just, I had changed so much because we had
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met when I was cleaning while I was in the facility and then I'd
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gotten back into it and it might my demeanor change, you know,
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like she just I couldn't, she couldn't live with that.
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I don't blame her. But then I that's when I just
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spiraled out of control. I saw a job, I'm still
13:34
supervisor at the local port plant, stuff like that, But I
13:37
was, I was wiling out bad. And that's when I I met my
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current wife. Our, our meeting was in active
13:45
addiction and I, she was kind of kind of my match on things like
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we ended up our first date was we went on a cross country trip
13:53
together and kept wiling out. I remember we were up in Mason
13:57
City one time, another city local, oh, kind of close to us,
14:00
and she was asking me about my kids, you know, like why I
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haven't, why I'm not putting more time with them.
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And my mom had seen me falling, you know, so she just keeping
14:09
away from me and that I used to be so angry about it.
14:12
That's another blessing. I mean, that's her and God did
14:15
that, you know, because I was bad off.
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And if those kids were to see me like I was, I think I don't
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think I would have the relationship I have with him
14:23
today, you know? And so like, she's like, why do
14:26
you keep worrying about all these these druggies and and
14:28
stuff like that and study your kids?
14:30
And I was like, because I was raised to help everybody.
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And she's like, well, that's not going to matter in the end, you
14:37
know, like, and I was like, yeah, but these people had
14:39
somebody do something nice for. And that's the spiritual
14:42
warfare. Like I thought I was doing the
14:44
right thing by these people. Like I was helping everybody
14:46
out, which I, but I was helping him in the wrong ways, you know,
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and I didn't, I wasn't even thinking straight back then.
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But then like I said, the last time I got shot, unfortunately I
14:58
was, it's in a drug deal and I was just trying to buy a big
15:02
amount of drugs and had a lot of money on me.
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And there was some back history there that don't really matter.
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It's just dumb stuff. But I caught 2 to the chest from
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like 10 yards. And then he came and put the
15:14
gunpoint blank to my head and, and pulled the trigger and I was
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45ACP and I had butted it like there was some choice profanity
15:22
exchange between US and God said not yet.
15:25
And I, I mean, a couple of years before that I had had a heart
15:28
attack because I was always amped up all the time.
15:30
They they cut a tumor out of my hand.
15:32
So I've had a stroke, cancer, heart attack.
15:35
I've been shot five times, stabbed twice.
15:38
Like God's like not yeah, you have a big plan that yeah, I
15:42
don't know. I like, I'm still working on
15:44
that with him, but yeah. And I remember, I remember the
15:47
powder flash and I remember hearing the guy that shot me run
15:50
away and it I called like Tisha called me, my current life
15:56
called me. And I was like, hey, I've just
15:58
been shot. I, I need to call 911.
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And she's like, you don't sound like you've been shot.
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And I don't, there's this just this weird piece, like I'd been
16:06
in active addiction for so long that I was done living.
16:10
I was done feeling like it, but I was too gutless to take my own
16:14
life, you know, so I, I was in suicidal situations and I knew
16:18
it. Like I, I wasn't gonna do it,
16:20
but I knew somebody eventually would, you know, it was with the
16:23
amounts of everything floating around.
16:25
Someone was gonna gonna take me, let me get to my maker, you
16:28
know? And I remember calling 911 and
16:31
they asked me who shot me. I was like, I ain't dying like
16:34
that. Like I'm going to die here,
16:35
lady. I'm just letting you know where
16:36
my body is. Here's the deal.
16:39
The guy took me to a beautiful area.
16:41
Like there was 2 ponds, there was a Meadow, a forest line it.
16:46
If I were to end a full moon on Cinco de Mayo, you know, it was
16:50
the 5th of May. It was beautiful.
16:53
And I like I told the lady on the phone that I was like this,
16:56
this is the best place I could have to die, you know, and I'm
17:00
just letting you know where to find the body.
17:01
And she's like, what do you have?
17:02
And anyway, I was on the phone with 911 for 50 minutes because
17:06
like I said, there was a pond. There's no road to where I was
17:09
going. It was just an easement.
17:12
And they had me standing up and waving my phone with the
17:14
flashlight on so they could see me.
17:16
They got an inflatable raft across the the pond to get to me
17:20
like it was. It was quite the ordeal and I
17:22
lost a lot of blood, so my long head collapsed because one of
17:26
the rounds that went into my chest is now in between my aorta
17:29
and my heart. So it's not removed.
17:32
Another another round is in my shoulder.
17:34
And if I ever meet any of these folks in person like you felt
17:37
it, I've got got the Grand Canyon on my forehead.
17:40
But like I said, God said not yet.
17:43
And like I had gotten out of the hospital after a couple weeks
17:46
and me and Tisha had talked like this was the catalyst that
17:50
started getting us towards clean.
17:51
And like this, this traumatic experience was like, whoa, hold
17:55
up dude. There's got to be something more
17:57
to life than this. And then 30 days after I'd
18:00
gotten shot, two weeks after I got out of the hospital, I was
18:03
federally indicted on a gun charge.
18:05
And the gun wasn't in my possession, but it was found at
18:09
somebody's house and that dude was on his third set of kidneys.
18:12
He was a close friend for a long time in my life.
18:15
And so I went in and I said, hey, that I, I had that gun
18:19
brought to his house and I thought I'd played all my cards
18:21
right. And I just forgot it that night.
18:23
And yeah, I got a stolen gun charge that they turned over
18:27
fed. And so when I got there, I did
18:29
all the Fed time or whatever. And I hate to say this, like,
18:32
yes, I had gotten shot and that was the catalyst towards getting
18:35
clean federal prisons wide open and you can get anything you
18:40
want in there for street prices. And so I was still using, you
18:45
know, I gave us, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it.
18:48
And then my clean date officially is January 2nd, 2022.
18:53
Partied super hard on New Year's Eve.
18:56
And then the next day I woke up, my tooth was hurting and I was
18:59
like, man, I got a tooth infection.
19:00
Went to the Infirmary, and they're like, no, you have
19:03
COVID. He just went to the shoe, you
19:06
know, the segregated housing unit.
19:07
Went to the shoe and spent my birthday in the shoe, laid there
19:11
in a cold cell. I don't.
19:13
I don't remember, like, pleading with God for anything, really.
19:17
Yeah. He's just asking what his plan
19:20
was. I was just thankful.
19:21
And I was so scared of coming out.
19:25
And like, I'm not scared of death, but I'm scared of active
19:27
addiction nowadays. Like, I don't ever want to feel
19:30
soulless again, you know? So I have a great godly woman
19:36
and thank God, oh, I'm so blessed.
19:38
But the whole time I was in prison, she had gotten involved
19:41
with a 12 step program and had built us a whole new community.
19:46
So when I came out, there was no having to like, no loneliness at
19:51
all really. Like there was, there was church
19:54
at harvest. There was a picnic in the park,
19:56
one of the harvest events there. I had a job.
19:59
I had a pool. 12 step program family.
20:03
I mean, it's a secular one, but, and I, I love all of them, you
20:07
know, but after about 2-3 years of recovery and working on
20:12
myself and reading these books that talk about a higher power
20:15
and all this, I'm like the, the, the 12 steps, the, the
20:19
gratitude, the principles. I'm like, this is all biblical.
20:22
You guys like this is Jesus's first bit like because I had all
20:27
that head knowledge, you know, like this is Jesus first big
20:30
sermon, you know, like this is this is Jesus.
20:33
You can say higher power if you want to and I get it, cool,
20:36
whatever, but this is God, this is Jesus.
20:38
Guys, I was just the same thing I saw in like the church, you
20:43
know, like there was just a lot of hypocrisy and but they
20:46
weren't shooting their wounded. Like somebody went back out like
20:49
there was good thoughts sent you them if they needed help getting
20:51
clean again, they were all right there, like, and then someone
20:55
invited us to this meeting for Celebrate Recovery and it is
20:59
just, I don't know, it's amazing.
21:01
Like I, I don't know, like I feel so LED.
21:04
I, I absolutely love our Celebrate Recovery group.
21:08
I love all of them. Like I've gone to ones in
21:10
different cities, different towns, stuff like that.
21:12
I all of them, all of them are amazing.
21:15
You know, it's all, it's not about what you've done.
21:18
It's, and it's not about how the world sees you.
21:21
It's about how God sees you and everybody's welcome, you know,
21:24
and it, you don't have to be a drug addict.
21:26
I mean, everybody's got hurts, hang ups and habits.
21:28
And from there, man, we did the 12 steps with this group of
21:32
gentlemen that is probably some of the strongest men I've ever
21:36
met. And the transformations that
21:37
I've seen. One of them I didn't even hear
21:39
talk for the 1st 12 weeks. Like I didn't even know he
21:42
spoke, you know, and now, now he eats prayer in front of the
21:46
group. He does the small groups like
21:49
this man, I just the power of Jesus is just phenomenal and
21:54
just I and the hardest part for me is like, I don't, I can't
21:59
tell you exactly when that had knowledge became hard knowledge,
22:02
you know, because I used to, I used to get real hung up on
22:05
doctrine and you know, like, and other people's sin, you know,
22:09
like I saw a lot of dinners judging sinners for sinning
22:13
differently. And I don't know, like I, I got
22:15
in the Bible every day. Like I made a conscious effort,
22:18
like I listen to it before I fall asleep.
22:20
I got the audio Bible. I I read it, I, I study it like
22:25
I, I put like 29 hours into Genesis a couple months ago and
22:29
I dig it like it just get it's more and more impactful that had
22:32
knowledge when I let it touch my heart.
22:34
Yeah, I just, I don't think I could ever go back.
22:36
You know, there's that that feeling that I had gotten when I
22:40
had got saved, if you want to call it that, like saved,
22:44
redeemed when me and Jesus got the agreement that we were going
22:47
to have a relationship. That feeling that I had in my
22:50
soul that I then when I saw the hypocrisy of the, the church, if
22:54
you will, or people, people failing people, but not Jesus
22:59
failing. When I saw that, I found a
23:01
glimpse of that feeling in drugs, but then it was taken
23:05
right away. Like it's a devil sick joke,
23:07
dude. Like, oh, you want to feel that
23:09
mountaintop? Well, here, you'll feel it for 2
23:10
seconds. It's not enough, man.
23:12
And like, the more I don't know. I, I did the, I was trying to
23:16
figure out the average of how much I talked to Jesus on a
23:19
daily basis. And a few months ago, I was
23:21
about four hours a day in prayer.
23:24
And like, I get, I'm like, I'm talking to Jesus, though.
23:27
Like, we have a relationship, you know, like, the thing that
23:30
scares me is I don't want to get to heaven and be like, I have
23:32
not known you. Yeah, Yeah, bro, you have.
23:34
And I've known you because I also sit in stillness, you know,
23:38
like, I, I meditate. I let the Spirit speak to me.
23:41
I, I, I let him lead me and I got some anger issues once in a
23:46
while about how interpretations of the Bible happened.
23:49
So like I started getting into the Greek in the Hebrew and
23:52
finding out who Jesus was talking to.
23:53
And I was going to start seminary to just, just to argue
23:58
with people that were leading people astray.
24:00
But I was like, I don't want to be a leader because they're held
24:03
to a different standard. And then this wonderful man
24:05
named Jim, I'm over at his house and we're talking about it today
24:09
and he or one day and he, I'm sitting there talking to him.
24:12
I was like, I, I am a crappy Sinner, you know, like I can't
24:16
be in leadership because what if I say something wrong?
24:18
I'm leading people astray. And he just looked at me and
24:21
he's like, you're already in leadership.
24:23
And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, well, you're on
24:25
the leadership team for CR. You do picnic in the park.
24:28
Like you're already in leadership.
24:30
And I was like, crap, like I am already there.
24:33
You know, like, man, I'm already being held to the standard that
24:36
I was trying to avoid. I was trying to run from him.
24:37
And like, that's part of God's plan.
24:40
And as much as I want to disagree with him, I'm not, you
24:43
know, like every time I try to disagree with Jesus, he just
24:45
shows me another way. And so I wanted to start
24:48
seminary for selfish reasons to argue with, I hate to say it,
24:52
uppity Christians like I don't, I, I don't know better
24:55
terminology for it. Like that's originally what I
24:57
wanted to start. And then I was like, Mike,
24:58
that's the wrong reasons. Don't do that.
25:00
So I, I just keep studying the Bible, right.
25:03
And one day I'm sitting in one of our 12 step meetings and our
25:08
group meeting and someone do not love him.
25:12
Looks to me and he's like, you're going to do wonderful for
25:14
the Kingdom. And I'm like, I, I'm going to do
25:16
my best. I hope that's wonderful.
25:18
And he's like, I'm going to pay for your first semester of
25:20
seminary. I'm going to sponsor you.
25:23
And I was like what? And I was like, you ain't got to
25:25
do that. And he's like, no, I am, I am.
25:27
I want to be involved with where you start.
25:29
And so now my seminary isn't necessarily to argue with
25:33
people. I, I do want the knowledge, but
25:35
then, then there has been some talk about possibly leading at
25:40
the church I go to because our pastors want to retire and don't
25:44
know, like I just, I'm excited about seminary because of how
25:47
much I get to learn, you know, because there is so many nuances
25:51
and things that you, you don't get in the evangelical church.
25:55
I guess like, I mean, there's, I mean, I like the, the things
25:58
that are dirty too, you know, the things that aren't, aren't
26:01
pleasant to hear, you know, but I, you can't stray away from
26:05
them. I mean, I'm not going to condemn
26:07
you for the sin that you're doing, but I, I will let you
26:10
know what the Bible says. And Oh, the Bible doesn't say
26:12
anything against that. No, because there's so many
26:14
things to say are wrong. Jesus just told you what was
26:18
right. And that's what you shoot for.
26:20
Yeah. It makes it easy, you know.
26:22
And so I'm really excited about the next chapter in our, our
26:25
life. We just, me and my wife got
26:27
married in September. We moved in together now
26:30
officially he was November 1st and we moved to the apartment
26:34
she lived in when I first got out of prison.
26:36
Except she was on the ground floor.
26:37
But we have a view of Cedar River, the downtown Waterloo
26:41
West side, which looks beautiful at night from our porch.
26:45
We're on the 2nd floor so we can see all this.
26:47
My daughter, my youngest daughter, loves it.
26:50
Ever since I got out, I had a strained relationship with my
26:53
mom because of active addiction and aggression that happened and
26:58
with my kids because they they were told, right?
27:00
I mean, I did choose drugs over them.
27:02
I did and but thank God for my mom and keeping him away from me
27:06
and stuff like that. I just, that has done so much
27:09
more good than and I was upset for a long time about it, but
27:13
I've worked through it and realized that that was the best
27:15
thing. And now, now my oldest daughter
27:18
just had a baby. I was there for it, I believe
27:21
like I am. She even stayed with me for a
27:23
while when she's in between apartments.
27:25
My next two daughters that are going to college that I talked
27:29
to one of them almost every day like we're snapchatting each
27:31
other every day. The other one I talked to quite
27:33
often and I have been helping her with some business ventures
27:36
like helping her out and that I love my son, who is he's got
27:41
some, some issues because he's had some trauma in his life too.
27:44
Even even without me being around.
27:46
He him and me talk quite a bit to you or two, three times a
27:50
week. He's 14 now.
27:51
My 8 year old is here every other weekend and some holidays
27:54
and we go down to see her concerts and watch her game.
27:57
She lives in Ames, which is a 2 hour drive, but totally worth
28:00
it. And it's it's yeah, it's I never
28:03
expected to have a relationship. When I first got out, my
28:06
youngest daughter's mom had told me she's like, you're never,
28:10
you're never going to have her at your house as long as you
28:12
live in water, though. And like, it's just not going to
28:14
happen. But she told me about six months
28:17
later, she's like, you really have changed.
28:19
And I was like, I'm just trying to do the next right thing, you
28:22
know, and it pain to me or not, I'm going to do the next right
28:25
thing. And now, like, yeah, she has her
28:28
own bedroom at our house, you know, and she is married to a
28:33
wonderful man. Like I, I could have not asked
28:36
for a better stepdad for my daughter.
28:38
He is, she is just phenomenal. The Lord has blessed me in so
28:41
many of the weirdest ways, like got me alive.
28:44
That's a that's a blessing. That's not necessarily a weird
28:46
way, but another crazy thing with being shot in the head.
28:50
There was four years after I got shot in the head that I never
28:53
had a headache, not once. Like everybody gets headaches,
28:56
you know, like stress, headaches, tension, whatever.
28:58
I didn't get headache and I was like like kind of a blessing,
29:02
you know, like not I've had a couple headaches, you know, in
29:05
the last year or so, but not I used to suffer from migraines
29:09
after all the concussions and stuff, like haven't had one.
29:12
I'm not recommending getting shot in the head by no means,
29:15
but it relieves some pressure for me.
29:17
So that was definitely a God. So yeah, I don't know, like
29:20
everything is just, I don't, I don't understand it.
29:23
I don't, I know I don't deserve it, but I'm super grateful that
29:29
God keeps just blasting me, man. And it's, it's crazy, but I had
29:33
to open myself up for it. I had to open myself up for the
29:36
blessings. I had to allow myself to receive
29:38
them because I had a lot of resentment against me, you know,
29:41
for all the crap I did, you know, I had a lot of bad
29:45
feelings towards me, I guess. And my mom had told me this
29:48
story about when she finally she was pregnant with me and she was
29:51
real tore up about it cuz she was a single mom and tried to
29:54
talk to the pastor of the church she went to and he had no time
29:56
for, you know, like you're living in sin, you know, you got
29:59
proof coming. And my mom was begging God for
30:02
forgiveness just over and over again.
30:03
And my uncle, who was a a military chaplain, told her he's
30:07
like, God's already forgetting you just got to forgive
30:09
yourself. And that's the hardest part.
30:10
Like, the devil keeps us in that lie, you know, Like, you're not
30:14
good enough. God can't love you.
30:15
Like, you've done too much wrong, you know?
30:18
Yeah, Yeah, I have. But that mess turned into a
30:20
message, you know? And there are people out there
30:24
that that will go and try to help addicts and and unhoused
30:28
folks, but have never been there themselves.
30:31
And knowing that side of the spectrum, like knowing being
30:35
unhoused and homeless, knowing being an addict and out of my
30:39
gourd, you know, like I saw people coming to me trying to
30:43
help that have no idea where I'm coming from.
30:45
Like, yeah, I'm not listening to you.
30:47
You have no idea. It's like people that don't have
30:50
kids trying to tell you how to raise yours, you know, like, are
30:53
you serious? But I think God got me here so
31:00
that I can help those, you know, like there's there's quite a few
31:05
unhoused people that go to our church, you know, and that
31:08
there's all different walks of life, all different political
31:11
beliefs. And it's a small congregation.
31:13
Everybody knows everybody, but everybody doesn't care what your
31:16
other what your sins are like. They just love like they're
31:19
there. They read what Jesus said, love
31:21
the Lord thy God with all thy heart is 1st and gracious of the
31:24
commands followed by love your love your neighbor as you love
31:27
yourself. The hard part is, is our, our
31:30
world and Satan conditions us not, not to like ourselves, not
31:34
to love ourselves. So when it comes, when it comes
31:38
to loving somebody else, like if you don't love you, you can't
31:40
love them. You know, that's, that's just
31:44
where I sit nowadays. I mean, I won't rant, man.
31:46
I'm down to have a conversation with you.
31:48
But yeah, like it's hard. That's some good stuff, man.
31:52
If it's not clear why I asked you to be on the show today to
31:55
the listeners, I don't know what's going to what's going to
31:57
take the story, the story that you just shared with us and your
32:01
history. And you just have such a
32:03
powerful testimony about overcoming things that other
32:08
people would let keep them down and just not letting it keep you
32:12
down. But truly becoming unmasked and
32:15
and saying, hey, yeah, you know what?
32:17
This was me. And but that's the old me.
32:20
That's not who I am now and not letting it define who you are
32:23
today. So man, if quick pause, if this
32:25
is something listeners, if this is something in this, hey, quick
32:30
pause. If, if something in this first
32:32
part of this episode is already speaking to you, would you take
32:35
a moment and just share it with somebody who who needs to hear
32:38
it? Seriously.
32:39
It's it's how conversations like this get out in front of people
32:42
who feel alone and and need to hear the hope that there is hope
32:46
on the other side of whatever it is they're going through.
32:49
Take a moment, share it with somebody else.
32:51
OK, well let's get back into it because I have some questions
32:54
for this man that I'm excited to hear how he responds to.
32:59
Oh, no. Oh, about all this.
33:03
No. Mike, you've, you've talked
33:07
openly about the differences between head knowledge and heart
33:10
knowledge and when it cut, when it, especially when it comes to
33:13
faith. Can you describe a moment when
33:16
your face finally moved from your head to your heart?
33:20
And how did that change the way that you live?
33:22
Man, I think it was like trickles into the heart, like,
33:26
yeah, I mean, it's obviously your head is above your heart
33:29
and it was trickling in. Think honestly in federal prison
33:32
is when it started clicking. Like things started clicking.
33:35
My best friend in federal prison is honest to God Hebrew.
33:39
Like his last name is full Hebrew.
33:42
It's got the in it and all that and talk about Torah and
33:46
understanding the Bible and everything like that and all the
33:49
little nuances behind the Old Testament.
33:51
And then when we started talking about it and he's a Messianic
33:55
Hebrew, I guess, because he believes in Jesus.
33:56
And we're sitting there talking. He's, he's got, you know, 25
34:00
years that he's doing. But but all the, I don't know,
34:03
it's just started sinking in like, and then I came out, I
34:06
came out and he, he's telling me like the world is going to be
34:08
different for you now. You know, you have seen what
34:11
people consider rock bottom. He's like, you have now been
34:14
locked up for three years. He's like, you're going to go
34:17
out and the world is going to look different to you.
34:20
He's like all this, all these conversations we've had, all
34:22
this praying we've done, like all this working out that we've
34:25
done together with all these conversations.
34:26
He's like, you're going to see it.
34:27
And then I came out and I was super scared to begin with
34:30
because active addiction. It scared me.
34:33
And then then I got out here and Tish had that ready made family
34:36
and I went to the first first time I went to harvest vineyard
34:40
and it just it just started hit me like when the spirit hits,
34:47
you just start crying and there's no, you're not sad.
34:50
You're I mean, you're thrilled, you're happy.
34:51
You're just the Niagara Falls that came down my face.
34:56
And then then I was like, man, I if I if it's going to make me
34:59
feel like this, we're just being a little bit involved.
35:01
I want to be a lot of it involved, you know, and then got
35:05
into the Bible, the reading that the praying on what I was
35:10
reading about instead of just reading it, memorizing the
35:13
facts, you know, like 12 tribes, you know, 104, you know, like
35:17
all that. Yeah, those numbers are
35:19
important, you know, and they are.
35:21
But why were they arranged like they were, you know, around the
35:25
Tabernacle? And if you, if you actually
35:27
break down what the Bible says, I think it's in Deuteronomy, you
35:30
breakdown how the the tribes were laid out around the
35:33
Tabernacle. It's a cross in in the desert,
35:37
in the wilderness. They were already prepped for
35:41
Jesus was our the God was already planned and all of this
35:44
like, you know, like just there ain't nothing I have done that
35:47
God didn't know about before I was born.
35:49
There ain't nothing I'm gonna do.
35:50
And that makes me, I don't just want to chase him more, you
35:54
know, like if a God that is so infinite and beyond what I can
35:59
comprehend, like I can't put God in a box, like I can't tell you
36:02
how God, like I can tell you what Jesus says about the right
36:05
way, but like whatever you've done or whatever, like it
36:09
doesn't matter. I can't say anything on it
36:11
because God, I can't put God in a box.
36:13
Like I can't. Like I have friends that are
36:15
gay, openly homosexual. That's fine with me.
36:17
That's your life, not mine. But I'm going to love you like
36:20
Jesus told me to, you know, like it doesn't.
36:24
Like there's this one gentleman that is, oh, and he's like, what
36:28
do you mean? You're a Christian?
36:30
And I was like, well, I'm not a Christian.
36:31
I'm a follower of Jesus. There's a difference.
36:33
And he's like, OK. And I think that's when it
36:36
clicked. He's like, I, I would have never
36:38
expected that. You don't condemn me for
36:39
anything. And I was like, why would I?
36:41
That's not my job. Like I'm here.
36:43
I'm here to fix your toilet because you're my friend, bud.
36:45
Like I love you man. Like your private life is your
36:48
private life. And when I detached myself from
36:54
other people's sin, like my heart, I don't know, it just
36:58
changed things. I don't, I don't know how to
37:00
describe it. Like I cry so much nowadays, but
37:03
it's not tears of sadness or regret or anything.
37:06
It's gratitude. It's the gratitude that grabbed
37:09
me. And in that just being thankful
37:11
for what I have, like I don't want more.
37:13
I don't want to make that next sale.
37:15
I don't want to get that next amount.
37:17
I don't have to look over my shoulder.
37:18
I don't I can go on vacation and my house don't get robbed.
37:22
It's crazy. I'm just so grateful for the
37:24
little things. There's food in the cabinet
37:27
behind me and in the fridge and drinking coffee, you know, not
37:31
instant from prison. It's great.
37:34
Like I'm just so thick. I don't know.
37:36
God has just trickled through all of my core like the soul,
37:40
the pineal gland, whatever it is, the, the dopamines that I
37:44
get from reading the Bible and learning more about the views of
37:48
Jesus and God. The dopamines and serotonin, the
37:51
flow are better than when I was on drugs.
37:54
Even in the good times. There's just it's no, I don't
37:59
know, refreshing. I don't know.
38:00
It's just I, I don't know how to describe, but I know that it's
38:04
trickled to my heart because I feel it in my core.
38:06
I can when I see somebody I don't like, I feel compassion.
38:09
I pray for him when when I see people that are literally being
38:13
what the world views is a judgy Christian.
38:16
You know, like DC talks that in there and one of their albums I
38:20
think was a Jesus freak album. They said, you know what the
38:22
single cause of atheism in the world today, It's Christians who
38:25
acknowledge their mouth and then get out, walk out the door and
38:28
get on and live with their lifestyle.
38:30
That's what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.
38:33
Like we are called to stand apart.
38:35
We are called to love period, not judge.
38:38
Yes, we can be involved. There are political things,
38:40
there's spiritual warfare going on that we need to be a part of,
38:43
of like, hey, This is why it's not right.
38:46
Because this is how you're going to feel at the end of it.
38:48
I know because I've been there. I know what your soul this feels
38:52
like, you know? And now that I don't feel like
38:55
that anymore, like my heart is just exploding.
38:58
I don't, I don't know how to describe it.
38:59
I love everybody. It doesn't matter.
39:01
It doesn't matter. I love it.
39:02
I just love hearing you talk and Share your story.
39:04
And if you're listening to this podcast today and you're on
39:07
Spotify or Apple podcasts or one of those audio only locations,
39:11
man, I encourage you come join us on on YouTube and find this
39:14
episode on YouTube. Because hearing Mike share his
39:17
testimony is one thing and hearing him talk is one thing.
39:20
But when you can just see when you see the, when you see the
39:23
excitement in this guy's face as he's as he's talking and sharing
39:27
it levels it up to a whole nother level.
39:29
So find us on YouTube and, and watch it there and I guarantee
39:34
you, you won't regret it. You know Mike has.
39:36
Appreciate that. Mike is you've survived multiple
39:41
life threatening things. I mean, you, you mentioned being
39:43
shot multiple times, car accidents, addiction, violence,
39:46
stuff that most people would even wouldn't even dream about
39:50
going through. I mean, being shot and left,
39:53
being shot and left for dead in in this Meadow, like just stuff
39:56
that I mean, it's just unfathomable to even to think
39:59
about. And yet you're still You're
40:01
sitting here today with me, sharing.
40:04
Well, that's all God. It's just all God.
40:07
Yeah, I I won't argue that point at all.
40:10
Appreciate that. How did those moments shape your
40:15
understanding of purpose and God's calling on your life
40:19
today? Man, I was so confused to begin
40:21
with. You know what I'm saying?
40:23
How am I? How am I making it through all
40:25
of this? You know?
40:25
And there's heartache that goes with it too.
40:27
Like I said, when my young youngest daughter's mom left me
40:30
there, there was a lot of pain with that.
40:32
No, it's for his purpose. I think that's where everything
40:36
boils down to. As much as I tried to do things
40:39
on my own and grayed away from God and Jesus and straight away
40:43
from the love, then the the grace and the mercy, as much as
40:47
I tried to run away from it because of people failing, not
40:50
them, you know, not God. Like that's it's God all he is
40:55
using it all, you know, like my purpose now it's just to love
41:02
people, to love people where they're at, to help them out
41:04
where I can, you know, after Celebrate Recovery, when there's
41:07
food leftover, we go to the on house and make sure they're fed.
41:10
You know, Tisha sometimes gets mad at me.
41:12
My purpose is the love somebody standing outside the liquor
41:15
store or get my cigarettes or like, hey, do you got a dollar?
41:18
No, but I got a 20. Here you go, You know, and she's
41:20
like, they're just going to spend that.
41:21
And then used to say they're just going to spend that on
41:23
drugs and liquor. And I was like, maybe, but it's
41:26
not, it's not my job to figure out what they spend their money
41:28
on. I'm just supposed to bring the
41:29
loaves in the fish, you know, like it ain't my job to multiply
41:32
it. And then so God and all of this
41:35
amazingness. So one day this dude's outside
41:38
and he's like, Hey, do you have a dollar?
41:40
And I'm thinking he's just going to get a Swisher Sweet or
41:42
something like that. I don't care.
41:43
And I was like, I only got plastic.
41:45
Hold on. I went inside.
41:45
I got a 20 out of the ATMI, hand him the 20.
41:48
And I watched him walk straight over to the little restaurant
41:52
across the street, not going inside and buy a bottle.
41:54
Look straight over to the restaurant, run across the
41:56
street and got some food. Like I'd start, I'd start
42:01
letting her get into my head about that.
42:03
Like you're just feeding their habits.
42:04
You're just, you know, which people did for me too, you know,
42:08
But when that man walked to that restaurant and got like got
42:11
food, I'm assuming like he went to the restaurant, not the
42:14
liquor store, that that was God telling me is that you just keep
42:17
doing what you're doing, Mike. You just keep loving people and
42:19
you only got a dollar. You got a 10.
42:20
Give them a 10. You know, like I am blessed
42:24
enough that I'm bill paid broke. But when I've got extra, it's
42:27
it's everybody's, it ain't mine. God help me earn it points me to
42:31
spend in it. You know, I still get a little
42:34
selfish once in a while. I'll buy a guitar.
42:36
Don't get me wrong, I still love playing guitar.
42:38
But honestly, yeah, I got everything I need everything.
42:41
And so, yeah, my purpose is just to just to show you that you're
42:45
loved. And the only reason I can show
42:47
you that you're loved is because I'm loved.
42:49
Like beyond anything you can do. You're loved and that man, yeah,
42:54
that's my purpose, is just to show people love.
42:56
You know, you mentioned earlier you talked about your recovery
42:59
and you were part of a secular recovery group and now you're
43:01
part of Celebrate Recovery. And it's clear that recovery and
43:05
Celebrate Recovery has played a significant role in your life
43:08
and in your transformation. What's different about CR or
43:12
Celebrate Recovery? What's different about that
43:14
compared to other recovery environments that you've been a
43:18
part of and experienced, and why does that difference resonate
43:22
with you so deeply? Because I had that head
43:24
knowledge, man, and I have, I knew what the Bible said.
43:29
I knew the sermon. So I had all that head
43:31
knowledge, you know, of the Bible, the sermon on the Mount,
43:34
like I said, the facts and the figures like go through all of
43:37
Matthew, you know, like, you know, blessed are, are the, you
43:41
know, blessed all the, all the beatitudes, really, you know,
43:45
and then I get to the secular recovery and I, I look at the 12
43:48
steps and it's talking about spiritual experiences and, you
43:53
know, making amends and admitting that there's a higher
43:55
power of your understanding. And I was like, well, hold up a
43:59
second. That's where I started to draw a
44:00
line. First step, like, yes, I'm, I'm
44:03
powerless over it. So we get to the third step and
44:06
higher power of your understanding.
44:08
A loving God is he or she represents itself.
44:10
And I'm like, what of my understanding, if I'm calling it
44:16
God, I can't understand it. I can't put God in a box.
44:19
And I started, I started getting these like feelings like, yes, I
44:22
love the camaraderie. I love that everybody had come
44:25
out of, of the addiction, you know, like, again, that they
44:28
were trying to be better people. But then then the more you get
44:31
to it, like step 10, you're talking about like making a
44:34
moral and fearless inventory and when you're wrong, probably
44:38
admitting it. And it's like, yeah, these are
44:40
all Christian principles, you guys.
44:41
And they're like, you can't say that.
44:43
Yeah, I can. Like, I can tell you what.
44:44
And I and I would share in meetings because that's what
44:48
helps if you keep stuff inside. And I would share in meetings,
44:52
but I always felt like I had to watch what I said because like,
44:56
I couldn't say that I see God moving in my life.
44:59
You know, I could say God, but they know they yeah, I can't
45:03
hide that It's Jesus. Like as much as I try to not
45:05
walk on egg shells or walk on egg shells and not hurt anybody,
45:08
I'm going to say God, Jesus, you know, like Jesus saved me.
45:12
Like, I cannot say it, but I was seeing people choose like
45:16
doorknobs as their higher power or chairs.
45:20
And I'm like, you can understand everything about that chair.
45:23
You know, You can understand everything about doorknobs and
45:25
locks. Like read a couple books and I'm
45:28
pretty sure you got it figured out and the whole history of
45:30
them, you know, and that it just doesn't resonate with me.
45:32
Like the higher power, I understand it can be whatever
45:36
you want, but you can't understand it.
45:38
You can't know everything about it because then it's not a
45:40
higher power anymore because now you know everything about it,
45:44
but it don't know everything about you, you know, and I will
45:47
never, never in my life, as much as I read and the much as I
45:50
study and as much as I listen to you, I will never understand
45:54
God, you know, his plan. His ways are not my ways, you
45:58
know, And I'm, I'm totally cool with that because his way is
46:01
better, you know, is it? I don't know, like, so I, I just
46:06
couldn't, I couldn't do it like I, I could, I would still go to
46:09
the meetings because they, I was a chair of a meeting and
46:12
everything like that. And I, they do help people stay
46:14
clean. And I admit that getting the
46:16
stuff out there like sharing is a big part of the recovery
46:20
process because it's a new way to think.
46:23
It's a it's a new way to live, you know, and you can only keep
46:27
what you have by giving it away. That's one of the things in that
46:30
the second of 12th step is absolutely correct.
46:32
And we don't necessarily say that and Celebrate Recovery.
46:35
It's a requirement like you, you've got to love on people.
46:39
You're giving it away. You're get you're given the love
46:41
that you wish you always had. You know, especially in active
46:43
prediction that you never had. You thought you did, but it's
46:46
because you had the fat sack or whatever, you know, it wasn't
46:48
real love and you come in with nothing to Celebrate Recovery.
46:51
And it's not higher power. It's it's the one true God, the
46:56
God of the Angel armies, you know, like it's, it's definitely
47:00
the one that made all of this, you know, and and he will like
47:05
talk about like, you know, because the issue in the secular
47:08
recovery is like if God was real, like you're saying, he
47:12
won't let this happen. Yeah, yeah, he would.
47:15
Because now your mess is a message.
47:17
It's a testimony. Like where you failed is now
47:20
going to help somebody else. Like this is all Jesus's plan,
47:24
like we, he had the perfect plan for you, but then you made your
47:28
own decisions like free will. And I appreciate that.
47:32
And like the, the amount of, if you force somebody to do
47:37
something for you, like slave labor, they're not going to do
47:39
their greatest job, you know, like, because they don't want to
47:42
be there, they're forced to be there.
47:43
So I understand the free will thing because now that I, when
47:47
I, I want to do something for Jesus, you know, I want to do
47:51
something for your Kingdom. And so, so now when I do
47:54
something for the Kingdom, it is 110% like if I was being forced
48:00
to do it, I give you a solid 40%, you know, but now that I
48:04
want to do it. And that's why I think God
48:07
created free will or allowed us to have free will, because it's
48:10
so much more powerful than than slave labor.
48:13
I guess I mean slave slaves, you know, and that's, that's where
48:17
the power is. It's not necessarily that you're
48:20
doing a lot or literally you could be the guy that cleans the
48:22
toilets at the church. It doesn't matter.
48:24
It's still got to get done. Everybody gets to play, you
48:26
know, like you are serving in a major purpose like those toilets
48:29
being clean and stopping somebody from getting sick.
48:32
It's giving somebody a clean toilet to use because where they
48:34
live, where they're at, they may not have it.
48:37
Everything is important in the Kingdom.
48:39
And so when you're, when you're doing it out of free will, not
48:42
because you're made to, it's just so much more of a beautiful
48:44
experience, so much more rewarding.
48:46
It's there's so much more gratitude that goes with it.
48:49
I mean, I know I kind of got a little off tangent, but but it
48:51
is man, I just, I don't know, I'm excited about life.
48:54
Every day gets better. And I've been waiting for the
48:57
for the first when I was in secular recovery, I was waiting
49:00
for the buck to drop. You know, I was waiting for
49:02
something to go horribly wrong. And I'm not saying things
49:05
didn't, but I don't look at him the same.
49:10
Like I'm grateful that I got the experience.
49:12
Now if somebody comes to me with something like that, now I can
49:15
help them because I've been there, man, and I'm not upset
49:18
about it. It's all God's plan, not mine.
49:20
You know, I talked about Celebrate Recovery quite often
49:22
in my podcast and, and when I my guest on other podcasts, because
49:27
there's just something different about the ministry.
49:29
And for those that are listening, if you haven't heard
49:31
me talk about it, well then go back and listen to other
49:33
episodes because you'll hear more about it.
49:34
You know, if you, there's a reason that I, I talked about it
49:37
so lovingly and, and Mike talks about South lovingly because
49:40
there is something different about it.
49:41
And it doesn't matter what you're there for.
49:44
It doesn't matter if it's a porn addiction, if it's a drug
49:47
addiction, if it's alcohol, if it's overeating, if it's a body
49:50
image, if it's a broken relationship, it doesn't matter.
49:53
You know, I, I have people quite off to me.
49:55
I asked me, you know, am I qualified to go?
49:58
Can I go? You know, I don't deal with
50:00
anything major. And I look at them and I'm like,
50:03
you know, what? If you're, if you're alive and
50:05
breathing and you're a human being, you're qualified to go
50:09
because only one in three people that go to Celebrate Recovery
50:12
are there for something like drugs or alcohol.
50:14
The rest of their rest of us are there for life issues.
50:17
It doesn't matter what the life issue is.
50:19
There's something there that needs to be that you need to
50:21
work through. And well, they're like, and so
50:23
then I often get, well, there's not, there's not one near me.
50:26
And I said, and I tell him, I say, you know, this is a global
50:29
ministry. I guarantee there's probably 1
50:32
within driving distance of you in some way, shape or form.
50:35
So if that's you saying you're listening and you are like, I
50:39
want to find out more about this, you know, go out to
50:41
crlocator.com and you can find a meeting near you.
50:45
It has all the information who to contact if you have questions
50:48
about their meeting. And this podcast is in no way,
50:50
shape or form sponsored by Celebrate Recovery, but it's
50:54
given me a life change. It's given, Mike, life change
50:57
through Christ, through Christ. We don't give credit to the
51:00
program. Program was a catalyst.
51:02
It was Christ that did the change.
51:03
But check, check it out. I guarantee you, you will not
51:07
regret it. You know, Mike, the last
51:09
question for you tonight or today or whatever, whatever time
51:13
you're listening to this podcast for, for the person that's out
51:16
there that still feels like they're stuck, you know, they're
51:19
stuck in shame. They're stuck in addiction.
51:22
They have a sense of unworthiness.
51:24
What what is one piece of encouragement that you wish
51:27
somebody had spoken into you and your lowest moments that you can
51:32
leave the listeners with today? How about this?
51:35
It does not matter. You have somebody right here
51:38
that loves you. Doesn't matter what you did.
51:40
Doesn't matter what you have done, what you're going to do,
51:42
what you're living in, you're loved, period.
51:45
And Jesus being number one that loves you, but I love you too,
51:50
doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
51:51
Nothing matters except Jesus and I, I don't know how to get
51:55
somebody wrapped around that. Honestly.
51:57
Like you have to make a conscious effort in the
52:00
beginning. Your first little bit is rough
52:03
and you got to make that conscious effort to read that
52:05
Bible, to pray, to meditate, and then you make that conscious
52:08
effort. Even if you put in 5-10 minutes,
52:10
you make that conscious effort. The first step is on you.
52:13
Then after a while, like you find yourself doing it
52:16
automatically. You find yourself in in constant
52:19
dialogue with your maker, just chatting, sometimes just
52:22
chatting it up just because it feels good to talk to him.
52:25
It feels good to listen. And then and then life gets even
52:28
better and you sit there and you're like, something's going
52:31
to happen. Something's going to happen.
52:32
And then something does happen and it doesn't bother you
52:35
because you've already been talking to Jesus.
52:38
You have everything you need and I don't know, there's just,
52:42
there's just too much that goes with it.
52:44
Like you make the first steps and and there's people that I
52:47
know that are so in active addiction that do you think I
52:50
can do it, Mike? Yes, I absolutely do think you
52:52
can do it. I I had 2223 years in active
52:56
addiction, solid like pretty pretty much yeah, ever since I
53:00
was 13 years old. And it's just I I find myself
53:03
wishing I would have got cleaner sooner because the life is so
53:07
much better this way. But you've got to allow yourself
53:10
to love you. Yes.
53:11
There's a lot of things that that you've done, you know that
53:15
you've done to yourself to others that have happened to you
53:19
that have happened to others because of you.
53:21
It doesn't matter. It does not matter.
53:23
You've got to start loving yourself because Jesus already
53:25
loves you and knowing that the, the master of the universe, the
53:29
the God that created all this, the God of the Angel armies, you
53:32
know, like he already loves you, you got to love yourself.
53:36
And when you start loving yourself, it just makes it so
53:38
much easier to accept Jesus love, just love you.
53:41
Love Jesus, love you, in that order.
53:43
I love that man. I couldn't say it any better
53:45
myself. So, Mike, thank you so much for
53:48
being with us today on Unmasked and thank you for having.
53:50
Me. Sharing your story, man, It's
53:53
been, it's been awesome conversation, awesome time and
53:57
I, I'm sure the listeners are going to get a lot out of it.
54:00
Nah it's always fun chatting with you ass man.
54:02
I love you bro, I love you I. Love you too.
54:04
Love you too man. Well, thanks for joining me
54:11
today on Unmasked and a huge thanks to Mike for sharing his
54:15
testimony so openly and honestly with us.
54:17
If something in this episode spoke to you, don't let it stop
54:20
with you. Share with one person that God
54:22
put on your heart while you were listening.
54:24
You never know where the breakthrough might start with a
54:26
simple message from you. If you want more encouragement
54:29
or more information on me and having me speak at your church
54:33
or events, visit Wesley Farnsworth Stock and make sure
54:36
that you join the Unmasked community by connecting with me
54:38
on social media so that we can walk this journey together.
54:42
Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past
54:45
and real freedom begins the moment that you choose to live
54:48
unmasked. God bless you.