Latest / Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast / Unlock the Secret to Sustainable Leadership by Regulating Your Inner World | Coach Joshua Eze

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Unlock the Secret to Sustainable Leadership by Regulating Your Inner World | Coach Joshua Eze · Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast

• 0:33
  Good morning, good morning. Welcome to Rise and Thrive with
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  Doctor J Nicole where we are rising in faith and thriving in
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  purpose. Today I am joined by Coach
• 0:44
  Joshua Ezzy. He is a leadership coach,
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  speaker, and founder of Life Work and Synergy Systems where
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  he helps high capacity leaders achieve success without
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  sacrificing peace, purpose, or wholeness.
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  His work centers on emotional regulation, spiritual alignment,
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  and restoring God's original design for leadership, life and
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  relationships. Known for blending faith,
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  emotional and intelligence, and practical strategy, Josh equips
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  leaders to move from burnout and fragmentation into clarity,
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  rhythm, and sustainable success. His message is simple, yet
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  transformative. Regulated people create
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  regulated spaces. Welcome, Coach Josh.
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  Thank you so much, Doctor Nicole.
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  It's an honour to be here and it is humbling to be able to share
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  this platform and to let the Lord do what he do.
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  No, that's right, because the Lord popped you up on my
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  algorithm. So in case y'all don't know who
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  Coach Josh is, I came across this material on Instagram.
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  It was a really compelling carousel.
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  And so then I went to his page and I started looking and seeing
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  more. I said no, no, no.
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  I got to get him on Rise and Thrive so he can bless the
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  people. And I, I knew just based off the
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  content that I saw that we would automatically have like a great
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  conversation. So Josh, talk to the people
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  about how you became Coach Josh, and how you started doing this
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  work. So pretty much it started maybe
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  16 years ago. I've been on YouTube since 2009.
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  While I was doing YouTube videos, somebody placed a
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  comment up under one of my videos and was like, you should
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  be a life coach. Back 1516 years ago, the culture
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  of the climate was about college and get a degree.
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  And so I didn't have no credentials.
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  And then when that person popped up life coaching and you should
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  consider that, I went into research mode and I found Janice
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  with the Christian Coach Institute.
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  She was out of Charlotte as well.
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  I'm from Charlotte, NC and so the Lord lined it up for me to
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  be able to give my coaching certification and I was able to
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  start coaching from there. But I've been preaching teaching
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  since about 1920 years old, but life coaching for about 16
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  years. And so the Lord opened the doors
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  for me to be able to coach some, some, some high level people
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  and, and, and grace me with the message and grace me with the
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  frameworks to lead and guide them into alignment.
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  So it's been about 16 years since I've been life coaching.
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  Wow, that's awesome. So how has your journey been
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  with your own emotional regulation and alignment?
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  Great question. Growing up in a single parent
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  home off Wilkinson Blvd. in Charlotte, NC, my mom and dad
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  divorced when I was four. I didn't realize at that moment
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  abandonment. The door of abandonment was open
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  From that abandonment. There was this need for
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  validation, and because I wasn't the most sought after and
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  because I was overlooked in certain spaces, it built up this
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  dark fuel in me of wanting to prove myself and improving
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  myself. I was losing myself.
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  I was. Yeah.
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  I became very competitive. I became very eager to prove to
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  people that I can succeed, not knowing that that goes directly
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  against God's order and development design.
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  I thought that God was going to speed track me, but God was
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  showing me that my heart was not in alignment.
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  My ideas was in alignment, my calling was in alignment, but my
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  heart wasn't. And even though God gave me big
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  dreams and big goals and big aspirations and, and clear
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  visions, even prophecies that I would do great things for him, I
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  didn't know I had to become a great individual to become, to
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  be able to do those great things.
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  And so I remember one time, it was about 2014, I was playing
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  basketball at the children's Klein YMCA.
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  And while I was playing basketball, this guy called me
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  outside of my name, if you know what that means, called me
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  outside of my name. I grabbed him in half of a
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  millisecond, grabbed him by his shirt.
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  They had to pull me off him. This is minister Josh, this is
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  Colt Josh. It was at that moment I realized
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  I need to regulate myself. I mean, people was in mid
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  treadmill looking, the gym got quiet and I realized at that
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  moment dark fuel that was fueling me into ministry, into
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  business was not in alignment. And it was at that moment I had
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  to stop playing basketball altogether.
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  I had to pull myself away from any type of competitive
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  environments and really audit myself and realize even though
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  I'm successful right now, this, the emotional dysregulation
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  could completely destroy everything that I'm building or
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  could put a end to what God desires to build.
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  So my story began then when I realized even the preacher, even
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  the teacher has some holes in his heart.
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  And like I always tell my clients, God wants us to be
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  whole so that we can hold, but we can't hold.
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  We have holes. That's right.
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  A lot of us high capacity leaders, we are very good
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  ambitiously, we're very good aspirationally, we're very good
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  professionally, but we never check in and say, hey, am I OK?
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  What's fueling me towards that success?
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  And so that was the beginning of yo, people like myself really
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  need to be equipped. But before I was able to equip
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  them, God equipped me by healing me in that particular area.
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  Wow, there was so much in there. I want to know more about this
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  self audit and what that looked like for you.
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  Great question. Well, I've always been a guy
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  that was introspective, very reflective.
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  And it really the the process of that was the reality check.
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  My grandma passed not not too many weeks before then.
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  I was going through a whirlwind, whether you call it spiritual
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  warfare or whatever it was, but I realized through
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  self-awareness I am not equipped.
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  So I began to say I need to have support systems and it's what I
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  teach my clients. You need 4 ventilation systems.
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  You need a spiritual ventilation, You need a mental
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  ventilation, You need emotional ventilation and a physical
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  ventilation. What I mean, I realized that I
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  had no tools in those areas. Spiritual ventilation means I
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  have to make sure that I ask myself, do I trust the Lord with
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  all of my heart? If I don't trust him with all of
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  my heart, there's a part of my heart that would tear me apart.
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  So when I when I have to audit my trust because my anxieties
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  and my ambitions were spewing from a place of lack of trust in
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  God, I didn't trust God with my business.
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  I didn't trust him with that. I trusted my own abilities, so I
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  had to audit my spiritual level of trust because I always tell
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  people and I had to tell myself whatever I do not trust in His
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  hands will rust in my hands. Yeah, that's good.
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  So I did a spiritual ventilation, meaning, do I
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  really go to the Word for it to read me or just for me to read
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  it? Come on, most people only go to
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  scriptures like I used to. To find a sermon, to find a
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  message to, to do a devotional. But I didn't take the time to
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  allow the word to read me. The Bible says the word is
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  sharper than any 2 edged sword, meaning is able to do deep
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  surgery. I had to let the word read me.
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  Why have I been? Am I unforgiven towards my dad?
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  Was I unforgiven towards my whoever?
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  I'd also have a mental ventilation system.
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  Do I know how to cast down vain imaginations?
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  Do I know how to vent out the wrong type of thinking?
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  I had a scarcity mindset. I had a fear failure mindset.
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  I had to filter that out through the word of God, that we're
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  transformed by the renewing of our minds, of our.
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  Minds I. Had a journal I had to do the T
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  chart. Pros and cons?
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  I did the simple things to say hey is this vain or valid?
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  I need an emotional ventilation system where I go on long drives
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  and I just scream and talk to God and talk crazy.
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  It's just you and God. Me and God going venting all
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  that emotions out. Physical ventilation was I went
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  to the gym and I lifted heavy when I began to have those
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  things in place in my life, I became lighter in life.
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  So when you're able to vent out negative thoughts, negative
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  emotions and filter out physical frustration and filter out any
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  type of spiritual ignorance, then you able to bring
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  significance to any type of environment.
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  Wow. So what I hear you saying really
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  is that these ventilation systems bring you to your true
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  self. Exactly.
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  It removes all of those things. It's very healthy.
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  So you're you are actually then able to receive what God wants
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  to give you because you filtered out all of those things and
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  you've made room for him because these are the things that came
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  from our experiences in the world.
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  Exactly. Yeah, and that abandonment
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  wound, it'll do it. That's just serious.
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  And it people don't realize how much is driving them.
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  I think there's a certain level of awareness, right?
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  Because we know we're hurt from certain wounds, right?
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  And not fully understanding how sometimes it does impact the
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  decisions that we make, the jobs that we take, who we get into
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  relationship with, friendships, where we live, how we even
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  present ourselves. All of these things.
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  Everything is a message and it's coming from the inside.
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  And So what I love that you said was that basically your inside
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  had to be right to match what God was using you for.
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  Yes, and most people have to understand that regulation is
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  not a moment, it's a lifestyle. Come on.
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  Because marriage is going to open doors, parents is going to
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  open doors, growth and scaling of your business going to open
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  doors. And if you can't handle
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  triggers, you're not going to be able to handle anything.
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  And so it's a system of I had a client yesterday from the UK and
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  I was telling him and we were talking about check insurance,
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  how at least three to four times a day you should be checking in
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  on yourself and asking yourself, am I in alignment?
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  Yeah. Because I cannot do today's
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  assignment off of yesterday's anointing.
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  Come on. Most people are still trying to
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  use the home runs they hit in high school, the touchdowns they
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  made in high school, the 60 points they had in high school
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  for today's work. Holding on to old identities
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  when God wants to give them a new one.
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  Exactly. Exactly.
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  And they themselves, they are the barrier between them really
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  being their best selves. And you're right, it's really
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  and truly a lack of faith to think, to think that that's all
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  that God has for you. That's real.
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  That's real. My goodness.
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  OK, So what? First, I kind of revealed to you
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  that many high achieving leaders are succeeding outwardly but
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  struggling inwardly. Great question.
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  It's been many times in my coaching experience where God
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  will bring people to me. And I realized that when these
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  high capacity leaders, whether they played in the league,
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  whether they had a Fortune 500 companies or whatever it was,
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  people that I met at the wine say, I realized that people for
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  the bulk of their lives only trained professional skills.
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  They only developed skills professionally.
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  They didn't develop the spiritual skills needed, the
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  mental skills needed. So they had great capacity
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  professionally, but they didn't have great capacity in the other
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  areas. And so the Bible talks about
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  count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various
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  kinds, knowing this, the testing of your faith produces patience.
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  And when patience that is perfect work.
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  You will be complete, whole, lacking in nothing.
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  God's goal for leaders, for each and every one of us, is for us
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  to become whole. Now, wholeness doesn't mean
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  perfection. It means a level of maturity,
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  the ability to hold. A lot of high capacity leaders
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  are able to hold meetings, They're able to hold success,
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  but they can't hold a spouse, they can't hold children, they
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  can't even hold faith. I have had people come talk to
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  me and they're able to lead meetings, they're able to lead
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  teams, but they cannot lead their family through dark faces.
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  And so when I realized that a lot of leaders have hold that
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  there are bleeders, not leaders. A leader is an individual that
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  can lead from being LED. The bleeders are people who are
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  leading while bleeding on the people that they're leading.
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  Yeah, that's good. Because they're completely
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  unaware of the other holes. See, there's seven areas of a
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  high capacity leader. There's the spiritual, mental,
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  emotional, physical, relational, professional, and I'll leave
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  financial off. So there's six areas.
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  A lot of high capacity leaders are only solid professionally.
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  The other areas have holes in them.
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  The Bible says no person pour new wine into old wineskins.
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  Now what does that mean? When an old wineskin has gotten
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  old, it can no longer be stretched.
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  Wine. When it's poured into something,
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  it ferments, it stretches. So the reason why a lot of
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  leaders are burnt out and they've reached a cap in their
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  success is because they were using their own strength.
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  But God is not pouring anything new into them because He knows
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  that if I pour this new blessing, there's new
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  opportunity in your life. It's going to stretch you beyond
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  your capacity and it's going to break you.
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  And people don't realize that that that the reason why God
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  hasn't really pushed them into places or bless them in certain
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  places as a leader, it's because he knows I am not going to pour
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  something new into something old and waste my gift, waste my
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  blessing in people. And so a lot of leaders were
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  wondering why am I capped? Why am I not going beyond a
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  place? And I told him, it's because you
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  have no secret place. You have people go to God.
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  They treat God like a consultant.
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  I deceive. Yeah, yeah.
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  I am not the CEO of my business. I am the CEO, but I'm.
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  Not the CEO right when you treat.
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  God, like a consultant, you only go to Him when there's trouble.
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  The goal is to treat him like a CEO.
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  So I realized early on a lot of leaders were completely unaware
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  of how vital and how important the other areas are.
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  Wow, that's so good. And I love what you're saying
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  because like God is not going to give you a blessing you're not
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  prepared for because then it becomes a burden.
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  And like you said, it can break you.
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  It can do a lot of things and people they separate the
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  personal from the professional when it they are all one person
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  and all of it matters and it all spills over.
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  Yes. It all, and anytime one of those
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  things are out of alignment, you can bet it's going to be
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  trouble. Trouble and bigger trouble than
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  you can calculate. And that's what they wouldn't
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  realize. And they will go home and say,
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  hey, I'm providing for my wife Ted, but you're a great John, a
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  great priest. You're not a great prophet.
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  He's prophet and provider. And this was when, when it comes
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  to men that I've coached, just because you are a great provider
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  doesn't mean you're a great priest.
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  Most people in high levels of leadership, they don't take the
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  time to truly seek the Lord. They don't take the time to
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  pray. They don't take the time to
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  study, to show themselves approved, able to rightly divide
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  the word of truth. And because they are inept in
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  those different areas, they don't know how to be a priest.
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  They think they can buy themselves out of spiritual
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  warfare. Demons don't take money.
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  Demons don't. Demons don't bother with money.
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  You can't pay yourself out of spiritual warfare.
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  You got to know how to cover your home.
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  And covering your home is not just being present in your home,
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  it means being available. I had to ask my wife for
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  permission to do this. I have to ask my wife
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  voluntarily. Ask my wife when to do a YouTube
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  video. Do you need me with you today or
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  don't do this video? I rather have every area of my
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  life scale than one of my areas feel like hell.
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  OK. And so a lot of people don't
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  realize, hey, man, am IA priest. And I tell women also, man,
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  those high achieving women like are you able to?
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  I ain't gonna go there, I ain't gonna go there.
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  But what am I saying is this beast I fit and king is what
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  they say, but when it comes to high level man, they have to
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  realize, do I know how to leave my home by being led by the King
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  of my home which is Jesus? Am I able to prophecy to the
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  dreams of my wife? Am I able to be prophetic to my
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  children or do I want my children to carry my business?
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  Am I able to provide holistically?
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  If you provide one dimensionally, you're not a
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  provider at all. You just ruffled some feathers
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  right there. Yeah, yeah.
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  But but all facts, no lies told to learn it.
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  Myself, fellas, I had to learn it myself.
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  Yeah, look, look. You over there working up sweat,
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  coach Josh, OK. Nigerian we that's that's what
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  we do. We sweat a lot.
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  We sweat that's. What we That's the first time
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  I've heard that. Yeah, yeah.
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  So why is emotional regulation so essential for sustainable
• 19:32
  leadership? Great question.
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  A lot of leaders are attainable leaders, but they're not
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  sustainable leaders. You just keep coming with the
• 19:40
  bars come. On that's what I do that Lord
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  the Lord the Holy Spirit is the greatest rapper of all time He
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  just. OK.
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  He just choose to spit through me like that.
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  Attainable leaders only attain success.
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  Sustainable leaders sustain success.
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  Now what is success, God? Design success to be holistic,
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  not one-dimensional. A lot of believers have allowed
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  the world to program the way they do business, so they think
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  that because I'm professionally successful, I'm successful.
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  Success is holistic. I have to be successful between
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  in the eyes of God. I as a married man have to be
• 20:24
  successful in the eyes of my wife.
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  Success is holistic. Emotional regulation is so
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  essential because emotion is emotionally the cause, motion,
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  or commotions. OK, come on.
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  If you don't regulate your emotions, and I have 5R S of
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  what helps leaders regulate their emotions, you have to have
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  these five things to be able to regulate your emotions in real
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  time. See, before I define, let's
• 20:53
  define what emotional regulation is.
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  Emotional regulation is having the ability to either calm or
• 21:00
  crank up emotions in real time. Calm and crank.
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  Appropriately. Appropriately right in real
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  time, being able to calm egotistical, calm aspirations,
• 21:15
  calm anger, calm your emotions in real time and crank up joy
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  pursuit to crank up those emotions for you to do what you
• 21:23
  may feel nervous to do. Now here's these five Rs doc.
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  In order to regulate, to become a leader that's able to sustain,
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  you have to have high levels of reverence, high levels of
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  renewal, mental renewal, high levels of regularly high levels
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  of reward, and high levels of regret.
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  Now, what I mean by that, the Bible says the fear of God is
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  the beginning of all wisdom. Your level of reverence
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  determine the level of wisdom you walk in any area.
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  You do not reverence God's original designs.
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  You're not going to walk in wisdom in that area.
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  So in order for you to regulate your emotions, you have to have
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  a high level of reverence. And reverence comes from
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  relationship. The reason why many leaders are
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  not sustaining their areas of leadership where their people
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  won't more so borrow from the chaos more than they're calm is
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  because they don't know who they are as a son.
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  Come on. Or S.
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  Sonship is so important. Who you are and how you believe,
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  what you believe and how you feel about who you are as a
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  child of God will affect whether or not you are an effective
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  ambassador for God. Most leaders have the wrong
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  viewpoint of themselves. They think that they are just
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  out here doing the Lord's work. No, you are an ambassador of the
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  Kingdom of God. You are a son and a daughter of
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  God. Had a client yesterday and I
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  told him this had changed his whole perspective and he's from
• 23:08
  the Uki told them I asked him King or Prince Harry or Prince
• 23:14
  William, do they do a lot? Does most of the fruit and the
• 23:19
  results of their life come from their doing or their being?
• 23:24
  It comes from their being. Look at the word become.
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  What you be determines what comes to you.
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  So say more. Most people leaders are focused
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  more on doing and having and not being.
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  If you focus too much on having, you'll only get half of what you
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  desire to have. If you only focus on doing,
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  you'll be too burnt out to enjoy what you end up having.
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  But if you focus on being and being who you need to be as a
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  child of God, you'll attract. You'll be supernaturally able to
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  do, and in your supernatural doing, you will attract what you
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  deserve to have. So.
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  Reverence and relationship will cause you to be at a place where
• 24:10
  you reverence your heavenly Father.
• 24:12
  You honor him, you honor his designs.
• 24:15
  Which didn't help she become regulated.
• 24:17
  A lot of leaders are dysregulated because of father
• 24:20
  wounds. Quick pause, I've been loving
• 24:23
  Canvas Beauty, a black woman owned brand all about confidence
• 24:26
  and self-care. Shop Canvas
• 24:28
  beautybrand.com/genie Three and use Code Genie 3 to say now back
• 24:35
  to rise and thrive. Yes.
• 24:38
  Dad wasn't there. And I tell people all the time,
• 24:41
  whatever experience you have with your earthly father is
• 24:44
  directly affecting how you see your heavenly Father.
• 24:48
  On see, I knew we was going to talk today because you are
• 24:51
  saying things that are part of how I work with clients in
• 24:56
  therapy and coaching as well. And the model for my private
• 24:59
  practice is where my body and spirit align right?
• 25:03
  And I am of the belief that most people that come see me, they're
• 25:09
  having a spiritual identity crisis and it's just showing up
• 25:12
  as the symptoms of just different mental health
• 25:15
  disorders. Like you talking?
• 25:16
  That's really what it is. It's.
• 25:18
  What it is, people don't know who they are in Him.
• 25:20
  Identity is the issue of sustainability.
• 25:24
  Activity is the root issue of sustainability.
• 25:28
  When you realize that you are a child of the Most High God, it
• 25:32
  doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what they do.
• 25:36
  You can stay regulated because you know you are a Pilgrim
• 25:39
  passing through. The Bible says no soldier
• 25:42
  entangles themselves with civilian affairs for their joy
• 25:47
  and hope is in the one who enlisted them.
• 25:50
  When you know that you're working on behalf of God and you
• 25:54
  reverence His designs and you reverence Him, you are so laser
• 25:59
  focused. Eternity is your is your goal.
• 26:02
  You are content. You're not building your home
• 26:05
  here so you're able to regulate because you're not going to
• 26:09
  entangle yourself in civilian affairs.
• 26:12
  The second R is renewal. You can only go as hard.
• 26:16
  You can only go as high as the ceiling in your mind.
• 26:21
  Yes, come on. Most people are not experiencing
• 26:27
  transformation because their mind hasn't been renewed.
• 26:31
  That's it. And they are not taking every
• 26:33
  thought captive. Exactly Listen, you got to
• 26:36
  listen. You got to treat your your brain
• 26:38
  has to be like TSA. You got to every thought you got
• 26:44
  it. You got the Bible says arrest
• 26:45
  every thought. Many people had thoughts.
• 26:49
  Just people don't realize my sister thoughts are seeds.
• 26:53
  Your soul is soil. Thinking is rain.
• 26:58
  OK, say that one more time. All Star seeds.
• 27:04
  Your thoughts? See.
• 27:06
  Soul is soil. OK, OK, OK.
• 27:13
  Proof. There are two farmers when you
• 27:17
  scale up the ladders, two types of farmers.
• 27:19
  There is God, then there's Satan.
• 27:22
  I always do this. I'll never do this.
• 27:24
  God and right. The Bible talks about when seed
• 27:28
  falls on the hard ground, seed that falls in Stony grounds,
• 27:32
  seed thorny ground, and a seed that falls on good ground.
• 27:35
  Yeah. The level of your soul
• 27:38
  determines how receptive you are to the seed in your soul.
• 27:43
  Right now you have to be honest and ask yourself, is my soul
• 27:47
  full of weeds or is my soul full of seeds?
• 27:51
  OK. Bible says when it's when a seed
• 27:54
  is sown on hard ground, the devil immediately comes and
• 27:57
  takes the seed gone. That means your heart is so hard
• 28:01
  towards this area of God and no matter what preacher, teacher,
• 28:04
  coach, sow a seed of wisdom, you won't receive it because your
• 28:08
  heart is still hardened. The Bible talks seed is sown on
• 28:13
  ground with stones. The Bible says these are people
• 28:16
  who receive the Word with joy. But when persecution comes on
• 28:21
  behalf of the world because they didn't have no root, the seed
• 28:27
  Withers. Now what does that mean?
• 28:28
  Receive it with joy. That's a good word.
• 28:30
  I believe in myself. I'm going to do this.
• 28:32
  God has called me, yes, we're going to do this.
• 28:35
  We're going to scale in, in quarter 2 and all that kind of
• 28:38
  stuff. But when you get persecuted
• 28:42
  because of the way God wants you to live, it goes directly
• 28:46
  against how the world says you should carry yourself.
• 28:49
  Oh, you gone now? That's why I want to get to
• 28:52
  Doctor Thorns. OK.
• 28:55
  When seed is fallen on soil with thorns, the Bible says the
• 29:02
  thorns choke up the seed, that it doesn't produce any fruit.
• 29:06
  Now what are the thorns? The thorns are the weeds that
• 29:11
  were sown. The weeds steal the sunshine
• 29:14
  from the from the plant. It robs the nutrients and the
• 29:18
  water from the plant. Whatever that weed that was sown
• 29:22
  in your heart about about who you are in him and and what
• 29:26
  you're supposed to do chokes up that word.
• 29:30
  And so when you allow that weed to come in and you give that
• 29:33
  weed seed thinking energy, you're raining on it and you
• 29:39
  giving it life. And then you in burying what the
• 29:43
  word says about you and allowing that thorn to take all the
• 29:48
  nutrients, all the sunlight, all the water away from that plant.
• 29:52
  And so many people are allowing Mama see that she cast it, Daddy
• 29:57
  see that he cast it, Society see that they cast it to incubate in
• 30:03
  their soil. And then they have a stronghold,
• 30:06
  they have a big oak tree in a life and they can't get past it.
• 30:11
  And so a lot of leaders, my sister, are unable to get to a
• 30:16
  place of transformation and success because of their level
• 30:20
  of renewal quickly. The other three, I know we got
• 30:23
  to go. What you do regularly, that was
• 30:26
  your disciplines. If you have no regular spiritual
• 30:31
  systems, no regular mental, emotional or physical things in
• 30:35
  place, no matter what you do with wealth, you have to spend
• 30:39
  your wealth to get the health. No matter how much money you
• 30:44
  make, if you don't have spiritual systems, you do
• 30:47
  regular. We talking about praying.
• 30:48
  We're not talking about being in your prayer closet 4 hours you
• 30:50
  got to go to work. I'm talking about praying
• 30:52
  without ceasing constant communication with God.
• 30:56
  I'm talking about being in your word for you.
• 30:58
  So I'm talking about all the different systems that I talked
• 31:01
  about earlier. The next two is very important.
• 31:04
  Doc Your level of reward and your level of regret will help
• 31:09
  you regulate level of reward. When you dream big and you
• 31:14
  really begin to see what could be the millions you make, the
• 31:21
  success you can have, you're not just going to let that moment
• 31:25
  with that guy mess you up. The reward is too big.
• 31:29
  Secondly, the regret is too big. Yeah.
• 31:32
  One thing that keeps me doing business God's way, Dr. Nicole
• 31:36
  is realizing I've counseled and coast a lot of high level
• 31:41
  entrepreneurs who lost their family.
• 31:44
  OK. 7000 square foot home. 10,000 square foot home empty.
• 31:52
  Empty. Professionally successful, but
• 31:55
  now they have to try to swim out of regret.
• 31:59
  I rather have a Kingdom salary cap, Doctor Nicole, the Bible
• 32:02
  says the Lord don't make me too poor that I steal and don't make
• 32:07
  me too rich that I leave you. I truly believe in the Kingdom
• 32:10
  salary cap. God knows a number that I should
• 32:13
  not pass financially. He knows if I make 10 million or
• 32:18
  20 million, He knows what number will cause me to leave him and
• 32:22
  to leave them my family. And so I have installed.
• 32:26
  Never thought of that. Salary cap, the Bible's Listen,
• 32:31
  the Bible tells us to lay up for ourselves treasures not on earth
• 32:34
  but in the heaven. That don't mean we don't have
• 32:36
  success here. I'm not saying that.
• 32:38
  But if God caps, you trust the cap.
• 32:43
  But most people exceed that salary cap and you see what
• 32:48
  happens in their life. So in my life right now, I have
• 32:52
  systems of anti regret. If my wife says she needs me,
• 32:57
  I'm not doing a video. I'll tell a client we'll have to
• 33:00
  reschedule. Because I rather keep them and
• 33:05
  lose y'all than to lose them to keep y'all.
• 33:10
  Because what I don't want to be is Paw Paw Azzy and my children
• 33:15
  don't even want to visit me. And it's a lot of people living
• 33:19
  with that regret. Yes.
• 33:21
  So when you have when you have those five Rs in place, you
• 33:27
  become emotionally regulated because you're like, man, the
• 33:29
  reward is too big, the regret is too big.
• 33:32
  And anytime you find yourself and we got to be honest, we're
• 33:35
  humans. You're not going to you're not
• 33:38
  going to get it right all the time, but it should be hot all
• 33:43
  the time. It shouldn't be heavy all the
• 33:46
  time. It shouldn't be hurtful all the
• 33:49
  time. It should be where OOP I caught
• 33:52
  that OOP, maybe adjustment OOP I'm better, I apologize and you
• 33:55
  see the apology in my changed efforts.
• 33:58
  Yes, the best apology is change behavior.
• 34:01
  Yes, ma'am. OK, so you're you're alluding to
• 34:05
  this, but how does this regulation quietly sabotage
• 34:09
  God-given assignments? Great question.
• 34:13
  Well, the Bible talks about a name is a good name is rather to
• 34:17
  be chosen in great riches, right?
• 34:20
  God wants and that's why you got to look at Joseph.
• 34:24
  OK. Joseph got a dream early but his
• 34:27
  lack of emotional regulation and most people think emotional
• 34:31
  regulation is only for the negative emotions.
• 34:35
  You got to know how to regulate the positive ones too.
• 34:39
  You know how many times I was so happy, excited, Doc, to tell
• 34:42
  people my big dream, telling them, and then my big dream
• 34:47
  shrunk my big dream to their level of thinking.
• 34:51
  Joseph was so excited about his dream that he told people too
• 34:55
  soon. And it may have required a pit,
• 34:59
  a Potiphar's house, and a prison for him to be regulated enough
• 35:04
  to lead a nation. And what God understands is, is
• 35:08
  that most of us look at fast, not last.
• 35:14
  The Bible says the last shall be first, and the first shall.
• 35:18
  Be first, shall be last. What does that mean?
• 35:22
  The first end up last because they rushed, they skipped steps,
• 35:28
  they got there quickly, then they end up had to repeat the
• 35:31
  steps all over again. The last become first because
• 35:35
  the last saw the mistakes of those that failed first.
• 35:39
  The last always lasts. So when you understand that if I
• 35:45
  do not allow patience to have her perfect work, I would not be
• 35:50
  able to be patient enough for the work, what is that?
• 35:56
  So if I know that everything in life requires a certain level of
• 36:02
  patience and I have to become a patient of patience, which means
• 36:08
  I have to trust that if I have to go through two decades of
• 36:11
  training, if I got to go through 18 years of training, it is
• 36:16
  worth it. There was something about the
• 36:18
  pit. There was something about
• 36:20
  Potiphar S, there was something about the prison that helped
• 36:23
  Joseph become mature enough to be able to lead a nation.
• 36:27
  So people don't realize that emotions will explode that you
• 36:34
  can be in a the devil. Listen, the Bible says don't be
• 36:37
  ignorant of Satan's devices. Devices explode.
• 36:45
  Leaders don't understand that the devil not the devil because
• 36:48
  he's not omnipresent his demons. Yeah.
• 36:53
  Let you have success for a long period of time.
• 36:58
  He has a certain time on that bomb that he's placed in your
• 37:02
  life and he knows that you're going to become so intoxicated
• 37:06
  with success that you're not going to check in with the best.
• 37:10
  You're not going to check see if you have even became your best
• 37:13
  self. And all it takes is that one
• 37:15
  trigger to set off that bomb. And when you set off that bomb
• 37:20
  and your name explodes, your name is no longer good.
• 37:24
  He knows there are certain things that's most people cannot
• 37:27
  respond from or recover from. So what the enemy is after your
• 37:32
  assignment either for for you being too active or inactive.
• 37:38
  And he knows that if you're inactive or too active, you're
• 37:41
  going to activate something bigger than you.
• 37:44
  And it will, it will unravel God's assignment.
• 37:48
  Why do you think the devil was trying to kill every child up
• 37:51
  under 2 to get to the Savior? And we are all saviors to some
• 37:58
  group of people. And He knows that if I can get
• 38:01
  you to blow up your purpose, I can keep these people from
• 38:03
  having their purpose fulfilled in their life.
• 38:07
  Stopping others from rising? Absolutely.
• 38:10
  Listen, I'm getting blessed over here today, OK?
• 38:15
  I'm telling you, let them. Let them keep using you.
• 38:19
  Because whoa, the times that I'm about, I already know I'm going
• 38:23
  to have to go back and listen to this again and catch it because
• 38:27
  you're just dropping the gems like it's nothing.
• 38:30
  So yes, indeed what happens spiritually when leaders operate
• 38:37
  and chronic overwhelm where they're like overextending.
• 38:40
  And I think you you hinted at this, but I want you to talk a
• 38:42
  little more about the the dangers of this.
• 38:45
  For sure, the enemy loves pressure because pressure
• 38:50
  effects flow. People are supposed to be
• 38:55
  blessed by our overflow, not what's left.
• 39:00
  Yeah. So when you're overwhelmed, that
• 39:03
  means you are spewing out at a rate that is higher than the
• 39:09
  norm. We have made ourselves sources
• 39:14
  and not resources. OK.
• 39:17
  Get yourself as a source. Then everything ends with you.
• 39:21
  Everything flows from you. So now you feel like you have to
• 39:25
  save the day, but the day has already been saved.
• 39:29
  And then there's that. So when you realize that you are
• 39:33
  a resource, First off, I am not the ultimate provider of my
• 39:37
  home. I am a resource of provision.
• 39:41
  I am not the source of provision.
• 39:43
  If I as a man, think that I am the sole source of provision,
• 39:49
  that I'm not going to get rest at night.
• 39:51
  I'm going to try to get two or three jobs.
• 39:53
  I'm going to try to get millions of dollars too soon because I
• 39:56
  feel like it's up to me. But if I know that I'm plugged
• 40:01
  into a source who is God, who supplies all of my needs
• 40:05
  according to his riches of glory, that his grace is
• 40:08
  sufficient for what I'm going through and I can go to bed at
• 40:12
  night. I can rest at night knowing that
• 40:15
  when it is my time, my skill set, my mindset, and my tool set
• 40:20
  will help me to become the asset needed to attract the income.
• 40:24
  Most people believe that they're the sole reason, so they stress
• 40:29
  themselves out. So spiritual growth, I tell
• 40:33
  people this all the time, Doc, Spiritual growth grows every
• 40:36
  area, not your professional growth, not your financial
• 40:41
  growth. Yes, spiritual growth grows
• 40:44
  every area. So the more I understand God and
• 40:48
  the more I understand that he'll teach by hands how to profit,
• 40:51
  that Jesus says come to me all who labor and are heavy laden
• 40:55
  and I will give you rest. He's saying the way I design
• 40:59
  entrepreneurship, the way I design leadership is smooth.
• 41:04
  I've never heard Joseph burnt out.
• 41:06
  I've never heard Daniel burnt out.
• 41:08
  I've never heard Abraham burnt out.
• 41:11
  I've heard David burnt out. I've heard Solomon burnt out.
• 41:15
  Why? Because they surround themselves
• 41:17
  with stresses. So when you're out of alignment
• 41:24
  spiritually, you press yourself to impress others 'cause an
• 41:29
  unnecessary pressure to press upon you.
• 41:33
  And you become so tight in an area where the anointing of God
• 41:37
  cannot flow. The favor of God cannot flow
• 41:41
  because you're in chronic overwhelm.
• 41:44
  And most people are chronically overwhelmed because they have
• 41:48
  not given God the ham, they have not given God the pilot's seat
• 41:54
  and trusting in his process. Yeah.
• 41:57
  So then how? How would one move from
• 42:01
  overwhelmed to order? Good.
• 42:04
  Now order flows in this flow. God, you family audience.
• 42:15
  Now that all right there just challenges things like I
• 42:18
  remember when I was a kid, we were taught joy, Jesus, others
• 42:22
  than yourself, right, And you just flipped the game.
• 42:26
  Yeah. I need you to break that down.
• 42:29
  Yes, God first. God first doesn't mean God in
• 42:33
  your ministry first, God in your calling first.
• 42:37
  No we talking about relationship with God has to be first.
• 42:42
  Most people if we're honest. God didn't even buy top 10 IF.
• 42:48
  We're not on somebody door. Is not even in our top 10.
• 42:54
  Most people don't even check in with God until 10 AM, but they
• 42:57
  checked their Instagram first, they checked their LinkedIn
• 43:00
  first. They checked I was that way.
• 43:02
  I checked my triple double every day that I get 100 likes, that I
• 43:06
  get 50 shares, that I get 100 comp.
• 43:08
  I used to check my stats every day first.
• 43:11
  So I got a 10 foot cord, record charging cord and I put my Bible
• 43:16
  right beside my bed and I would throw my phone 10 feet away
• 43:21
  because if I have reached, if I reach over my Bible for my
• 43:25
  phone, that's a reminder. Look, Josh, look.
• 43:28
  Look what you're reaching over. That's good get.
• 43:30
  To relationship with God first and how do you do that daily?
• 43:34
  First thing that you need to do when you wake up is whatever
• 43:39
  your eyes land on. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th,
• 43:46
  9th and 10th you thank God for. OK, is there a reason why 10?
• 43:53
  I said, I tell people to say I I stopped at 10 for time sake, but
• 43:57
  you can go as far as yeah. So when you wake up, let's say
• 44:01
  if I wake up and the first thing I see is a ceiling, Lord, I'm so
• 44:04
  grateful I have a roof over my head.
• 44:07
  If I look oversee my wife and daughter.
• 44:08
  Lord, Man, man. Thank you, Lord, for a family.
• 44:12
  When I step out of bed, Doc and I have the operation like the
• 44:14
  old Saint you say, I have the operation on my limbs.
• 44:17
  Yeah. Lord, I thank you.
• 44:19
  Oh, my arms work. Lord, I thank you.
• 44:22
  Oh, my like gratitude. Yeah.
• 44:25
  Stabilizes you. Yeah, it.
• 44:27
  Was things in perspective. This is what I train my clients
• 44:31
  to do in order for you to receive what God has for you
• 44:36
  that day. These are the Rs you got to go
• 44:39
  through first. You got to reflect, think on
• 44:42
  you. Love some Rs come on.
• 44:44
  Love all kind of Rs and s s and PS and TS.
• 44:47
  If it can flow, it can flow. OK.
• 44:51
  I have to reflect on. I have to think on the goodness
• 44:53
  of God. When I wake up, then I rejoice.
• 44:56
  I rejoice on what I have. When you reflect and you
• 45:00
  rejoice, you don't request, you repent.
• 45:06
  When you reflect, you rejoice. You repent.
• 45:11
  What I mean by that, when you reflect and you are rejoicing
• 45:15
  about the goodness of God, something in you.
• 45:17
  I'm not saying you're going to repent all the time, but
• 45:18
  something you say is God. Your heart comes to the surface.
• 45:21
  Lord, may you're you love me and I did this the other day.
• 45:27
  Change me, O God, search my right.
• 45:30
  Anything that's not like you. Most people, they request
• 45:34
  without reflecting, without rejoicing a rap, without
• 45:36
  repenting. So when you do those three
• 45:39
  things for you do the main thing.
• 45:41
  When you don't do those things in the right order, man, you're
• 45:44
  not going to be a person that's going to be regulated.
• 45:47
  You're not going to be a person that's going to have their life
• 45:49
  in order because you're not even going to the one that will order
• 45:52
  your life. Yeah.
• 45:54
  God first, then is you. Not your wife, not your kids,
• 45:59
  not your Mama. It is you.
• 46:02
  Yeah. You are only as good to them as
• 46:05
  you are to yourself. Yeah.
• 46:08
  You have to make sure you're in order.
• 46:10
  We talking about your your mind, your emotions, your body.
• 46:14
  Like are you hydrated? Most emotional dysregulation or
• 46:18
  most emotional spillovers come from when we're just not
• 46:21
  regulated physically. No vitamins.
• 46:23
  We call those vulnerability factors, yeah.
• 46:26
  Yeah, and so you got to make sure you good.
• 46:29
  Then it's your family. I tell my clients all the time.
• 46:32
  How's your wife doing? Like literally, do you know
• 46:36
  what's going? Like counsel kids, I do.
• 46:39
  Do you really know what's going on with that 13 year old mind?
• 46:41
  Do you know what's going? Do you know how your son really
• 46:45
  feels about you being too busy? Like I did you even I had to
• 46:49
  work on this. My goal for 2026 is to give my
• 46:52
  wife more hugs. I love that for y'all cause
• 46:56
  moxitosin levels about to go up. Y'all about to be extra
• 46:59
  connected. Make sure you hug her.
• 47:01
  You said she'd like 10 at least. Like at least 10 seconds. 10
• 47:05
  seconds at least 10 seconds. Yep, least 10.
• 47:08
  She's a stay at home mom with a whole toddler.
• 47:12
  Yeah. And toddlers don't play.
• 47:15
  But either way, you have to make sure you check to see, hey, is
• 47:19
  my life in God's order? I tell people all the time, you
• 47:24
  will never be able to handle your assignment from God if
• 47:27
  you're not in alignment with His designs.
• 47:30
  That's it. God has a design for business.
• 47:35
  God has an original design for entrepreneurship.
• 47:38
  He has an original design for leadership.
• 47:41
  He has an original sign for marriage.
• 47:44
  He has an original design for parenting.
• 47:46
  And if you are out of alignment with those designs, no matter
• 47:50
  how many orders you get in your business, it is going to cave in
• 47:54
  eventually. All right, beautiful people.
• 47:55
  If this episode has already blessed you in any sort of way,
• 47:59
  we ask that you like Subscribe, follow, share and leave
• 48:03
  comments. Feedback helps this message
• 48:06
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• 48:08
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• 48:11
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• 48:18
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• 48:21
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• 48:25
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  hair, you can use my promo code with the link in the description
• 48:43
  to get 15% off with you knees. Thank you for rising with us.
• 48:47
  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
• 48:49
  But here are the practical things you must do #1 you got to
• 48:53
  make sure that you and God and your relationship is strong.
• 48:56
  Do you have spiritual systems of checking in with God?
• 49:00
  Are you honest with God? Are you humble with Him?
• 49:03
  Are you even know His attributes?
• 49:05
  Are you theologically sound? Are you scripturally sound?
• 49:09
  Are you it's a directly sound. Do you know how to rightly
• 49:13
  divide the word of truth? Because if you can't rightly
• 49:15
  divide the word of truth, then none of your words will be truth
• 49:19
  because no matter no matter what you say, it's not infused with
• 49:23
  the word of God. Secondly, I tell people to get a
• 49:26
  sheet of paper and I tell them, write down everything they want
• 49:29
  from God, everything they want out of life.
• 49:33
  Write it all one line on that next.
• 49:37
  Take a long time. Yeah, right.
• 49:40
  But you need to take that. You got to take the time to have
• 49:44
  the time. Yeah.
• 49:46
  When you write down everything that you want, desire to have,
• 49:50
  the next column is I want you to write aligned or misaligned.
• 49:55
  Am I aligned with that? Now once you do that, I want
• 49:59
  people to put wherever they are misaligned if they know for hey,
• 50:03
  my marriage is a 5 out of 10. My parenting is a three out of
• 50:07
  10. I want you to go to ChatGPT or
• 50:10
  Google and I want you to find give me scriptures of God's
• 50:15
  designs for these particular areas.
• 50:18
  Come on, coach Josh. Yeah, when you go to the
• 50:22
  Scriptures not for promises, people go to the Bible for
• 50:27
  promises and not the principles. Oh, come on.
• 50:33
  You can't get the promises without the principles.
• 50:36
  You cannot become the person for the promises without practicing
• 50:41
  the principles. Yeah.
• 50:43
  So as ChatGPT, what are the principles and these scriptures
• 50:48
  and create a game plan for me. Give me 3 steps that I should do
• 50:52
  every day from these principles and my friend you will begin to
• 50:56
  see yourself slowly becoming aligned.
• 50:59
  Love this so much. I love this.
• 51:02
  What you're saying is something that God revealed to me in a
• 51:06
  period of transformation. When you put him first, time
• 51:09
  will expand for you. You will do things that should
• 51:14
  have taken months or years and He just gives it to you and it
• 51:18
  will flow out of you. And you look back, you're like,
• 51:21
  I don't even know how I did this.
• 51:23
  Yeah, Joseph went. It's amazing.
• 51:27
  Joseph went from the prison to the palace in the matter of an
• 51:30
  hour. He went from a prisoner to Prime
• 51:34
  Minister in an hour. God's time is not our time.
• 51:38
  He's above time. God moment, just like that.
• 51:41
  But I tell people God will not redeem the time if you won't
• 51:46
  renew your mind. Mic drop.
• 51:49
  Got to do it. My God, that was so good.
• 51:53
  That was so good. So I want to talk a little bit
• 51:57
  more about identity. Yes.
• 52:00
  Go a little deeper in that and the role that it plays in that
• 52:04
  inner stability and clarity and how people can move more towards
• 52:09
  that. Great question.
• 52:11
  Well, identity, there's multiple identities.
• 52:18
  People identifies through their community.
• 52:21
  They identify through their family.
• 52:24
  Their identity comes from society.
• 52:26
  Their identities come from those things.
• 52:28
  None of those things are sustainable.
• 52:31
  Your identity must come from God, who you are as a child.
• 52:36
  I just wrote a book released it maybe three months ago called
• 52:39
  adopted. People don't know that in Roman
• 52:42
  culture is not adoption was more deep than maybe what adoption is
• 52:46
  perceived now. OK, when someone adopted a child
• 52:50
  back in those days, that child got an inheritance.
• 52:56
  That child's debt was erased. That adoption made that child
• 53:01
  not a stepchild or not some child that I it made that child
• 53:05
  legally bind it to that family. Yeah.
• 53:09
  Most people don't understand or grasp the concept of what it
• 53:13
  means to be adopted by God. That adoption wasn't God's Plan
• 53:18
  B. It was God's original plan come
• 53:21
  on us into his family. So when you know that you are
• 53:25
  adopted into a family that is royal, now you have to allow
• 53:31
  your life to be renewed to royalty.
• 53:34
  Most people are still there are they are active for God, but
• 53:40
  their activity for God is because they think of themselves
• 53:43
  as a servant. Jesus says I no longer call you
• 53:47
  servants, I call you friends. This is good.
• 53:53
  So when you serve the Lord, that's why people burn out in
• 53:57
  churches, they burn out in business because they're serving
• 54:00
  and working for God to get His approval.
• 54:04
  No, no, we don't do business for approval.
• 54:07
  We do business from approval. We don't do business for
• 54:11
  acceptance. We do business from acceptance.
• 54:15
  I'm an adopted child of God. I am an ambassador of the
• 54:18
  Kingdom of God, and I'm doing business confidently.
• 54:22
  When I speak, the room shakes. When I decree a thing, it is
• 54:27
  decreed because I know who I am. So when you have an identity
• 54:32
  that is richly rooted theologically and it becomes
• 54:37
  realistic in your life, then it creates a level of dominance
• 54:43
  where you're able to stand in front of a pharaoh and says,
• 54:46
  yeah, I'm interpreting your nightmare, but I also have a
• 54:50
  plan for that nightmare. And that's how the wealth of the
• 54:53
  wicked is laid up for the just. OK.
• 54:56
  The wealth of the wicked transfer happens when God's
• 55:00
  people know who they are. OK.
• 55:04
  Pharaoh, let me tell people about people up there.
• 55:06
  I don't care if it's governments, I don't care who
• 55:09
  they are. They don't care nothing about
• 55:11
  your God. They care about that solution
• 55:13
  being that problem being solved. Yeah.
• 55:16
  So when you realize that your identity is directly connected
• 55:22
  to an outcome, to an opportunity, then you would do
• 55:26
  whatever it takes to say, I need to know who I am and whose I am.
• 55:32
  A lot of entrepreneurs listen to me right now.
• 55:35
  You're only doing it because your dad told you.
• 55:38
  You're only in that business because it's popular.
• 55:41
  You only doing that because you're approved.
• 55:44
  The approval you get from your prayer peers, your approval you
• 55:47
  get from your parents. But that identity is suffocating
• 55:50
  you. I talk to people all the time
• 55:53
  and they're doing a great work, but they're not doing God's
• 55:55
  work. And your identity must say this
• 55:59
  real quickly. Your identity determines what
• 56:03
  you identify. When you know who you are in
• 56:08
  Christ and your identity is rich and your trust in God is solid,
• 56:14
  you are able to identify what is for you.
• 56:18
  You'll be able to identify the wife that's yours.
• 56:20
  You'll be able to identify the husband that's yours.
• 56:22
  You'll be about be able to identify the city you're
• 56:24
  supposed to be in. You'll be able to identify of
• 56:27
  the outcomes and the things you're supposed to do.
• 56:30
  But if you don't have that identity, identity solid, you're
• 56:34
  going to misidentify yourself with things and it throws you
• 56:37
  off legacy. See, people think that alignment
• 56:43
  is all about them. No, your alignment is about your
• 56:45
  children's. Children, come on.
• 56:48
  And if you don't have a good solid identity, you're going to
• 56:50
  mess up what they identify with. And a lot of unlearning, you're
• 56:56
  right, because there's in the Bible, you know, where they talk
• 56:59
  about all the kings and them being equally as wicked as their
• 57:02
  father who was the king before and so on and so on.
• 57:04
  Like, or they continue like doing all of these awful things.
• 57:09
  Like you see it over and over and over.
• 57:12
  And the Bible lays that out. And so I love the direction
• 57:15
  where you're going with this about the impact of leaders on
• 57:21
  families, teams and communities. Can you talk about that, son?
• 57:25
  Yes, for sure. I tell people all the time and
• 57:28
  that's where there's the line comes from.
• 57:30
  Regulated people create regulated places.
• 57:33
  Yeah. People are either going to
• 57:36
  borrow from your calm or your chaos.
• 57:39
  Aha, that's good. Leaders are people that other
• 57:44
  people look to for something. Yeah.
• 57:49
  The goal of a leader is for them to create a culture where the
• 57:54
  people look to them while you look to him.
• 58:01
  What you one determines what you feed them.
• 58:06
  So if you're not calm, stable, trusting, no matter what bill
• 58:12
  comes across your desk, no matter how much the people
• 58:15
  panic, they will be able to stand and see the salvation
• 58:19
  because you're standing to see as well.
• 58:21
  Also, when you are a healthy leader, it creates health in
• 58:26
  your people and it creates wealth in your people.
• 58:30
  What I mean, when I am calm, I am able to hear what thus saith
• 58:36
  the Lord, for a person, I am able to give them encouragement,
• 58:42
  I'm able to give them confidence.
• 58:45
  I'm not threatened by you, I'm not dominant over you.
• 58:48
  I don't need you. I want you.
• 58:51
  I want you to work for me. I don't need you to work for me.
• 58:54
  And so when you have that calm that is detached from their
• 58:57
  outcome, you have an identity as detached from their output, then
• 59:02
  you able to give them input. Come on.
• 59:05
  It affects their output. Absolutely.
• 59:09
  So what I mean by that, practically you have to ask
• 59:11
  yourself as a business owner, are the people around me
• 59:17
  inspired by me or afraid around me?
• 59:22
  Oh, come on. Do they walk on egg shells
• 59:26
  around me or are they walking on pastures that are soft around
• 59:31
  me? A leader has to be healthy on
• 59:35
  the inside. And if you're not healthy, they
• 59:38
  cannot be healthy. So now you have to do this
• 59:41
  activity that I walk leaders through.
• 59:43
  I want to write down every person that reports to them.
• 59:47
  And on a scale of one to five or one to 1010 being they're super
• 59:52
  nervous, they're super whatever around me.
• 59:55
  And one, they're very calm. I want you to write down and ask
• 59:58
  yourself, when this person's around me, how are they
• 1:00:02
  impacted? Secondly, I want you to audit
• 1:00:05
  your culture. Is your culture A10 toxic or is
• 1:00:09
  your is your culture peaceful? When you look at that, I want
• 1:00:14
  you to ask yourself, what in you is out of alignment?
• 1:00:18
  What in you is contributing to this?
• 1:00:22
  A lot of leaders create toxic culture because they're not
• 1:00:24
  leaders. They're afraid to lead, they're
• 1:00:26
  afraid to speak up, they're afraid to correct somebody.
• 1:00:29
  They're kumbaya all the time. Then you have people who are too
• 1:00:34
  direct, too stern, but that's when you look in the mirror and
• 1:00:38
  ask yourself, Lord, where is a disconnect?
• 1:00:41
  And the Lord is going to always say, we haven't spoken in a
• 1:00:44
  while. You haven't fellowshipped with
• 1:00:48
  me in a while. Yeah.
• 1:00:50
  Well, Martha, not a Mary. OK.
• 1:00:54
  Martha and Jesus in his in his fellows was walking married to
• 1:00:58
  is a big group of people and as he was walking through Martha's
• 1:01:02
  village. Martha was like I got some roast
• 1:01:04
  in the oven. Jesus y'all coming into my
• 1:01:06
  house. Martha was like the roast is
• 1:01:08
  about done. I got to get the size together
• 1:01:12
  right. Martha straight to the kitchen.
• 1:01:15
  She is soon a sister. Mary will be right behind her.
• 1:01:21
  So Martha got frustrated because culturally, Doc, she was
• 1:01:24
  correct. The women were never supposed to
• 1:01:27
  be at the feet of the teachers. They were supposed to be in the
• 1:01:30
  kitchen. You can hear that the plates
• 1:01:33
  rattling. You hear the cupboard slamming
• 1:01:35
  because Martha had enough. She was mad.
• 1:01:39
  Mad, so mad, she interrupted Jesus message.
• 1:01:44
  Wild. The audacity.
• 1:01:47
  OK. Jeez, he's going to let your
• 1:01:50
  sister sit here and not come help me in the kitchen.
• 1:01:54
  Jesus says Martha, Martha, anytime the Bible's see a double
• 1:01:57
  wording that means he said it was listen the emphasis Martha,
• 1:02:03
  you are troubled by many things, but one thing is necessary and
• 1:02:09
  your sister Mary has chosen it. Jesus then said, what you're
• 1:02:14
  cooking for us right now is going to go from taste to waste.
• 1:02:18
  What I'm feeding Mary will never leave her.
• 1:02:22
  What am I telling you right now, leader?
• 1:02:24
  Ask yourself, are you a Martha or a Mary?
• 1:02:27
  Yeah. Are you too busy trying to cook
• 1:02:29
  meals for the Lord and his people, or are you a person
• 1:02:32
  that's getting the meal plan from Jesus?
• 1:02:35
  This is so good. This is so good.
• 1:02:39
  But yeah, but that's the goal. You have to ask yourself, hey,
• 1:02:41
  hi. I'm Martha and I'm a Mary.
• 1:02:44
  Oh my goodness, this this. Are you a Martha or a Mary?
• 1:02:48
  I went through my own version of that and realizing I have been
• 1:02:52
  raised to be a Martha by Martha's.
• 1:02:57
  And so I befriended Martha's, I dated Martha's and then I then
• 1:03:02
  it finally came to and I said, my goodness, I'm a Martha, but I
• 1:03:06
  was born a Mary. So this gets back to identity,
• 1:03:10
  right? And had to ask God to just
• 1:03:13
  disconnect me, remove those Martha ways and fill me up with
• 1:03:16
  the Mary, you know, because that's a thing.
• 1:03:19
  And that was very audacious of her to check Jesus.
• 1:03:24
  She basically checked Jesus. And we do.
• 1:03:26
  We check God all the time checking them.
• 1:03:30
  And God's like man, you missing the whole message, you missing
• 1:03:33
  everything. And Mary had the audacity, too.
• 1:03:38
  She did because she broke culture like tradition like you
• 1:03:41
  said. She broke culture and got what
• 1:03:45
  she needed. That's powerful.
• 1:03:49
  Which said Doc, how people you are, you attract who you are.
• 1:03:53
  If you are Mark, attract Martha's.
• 1:03:57
  Yeah, that's real. So what shifts when a leader
• 1:04:02
  prioritizes regulation and alignment?
• 1:04:05
  Great question. Everything shifts.
• 1:04:09
  Everything shifts. Your past shift, your presence
• 1:04:12
  shifts, and the possibilities shift.
• 1:04:13
  What do I mean by that? When you choose alignment, your
• 1:04:18
  past no longer becomes a place of residence it.
• 1:04:21
  Becomes a place of. Reference.
• 1:04:23
  Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
• 1:04:25
  You refer back to for lesson purposes, your presence shifts.
• 1:04:31
  Now you see things that are obvious.
• 1:04:33
  Now you have a clear conscience. You're able to see the Kingdom
• 1:04:38
  of God in real time. Your presence shifts.
• 1:04:41
  And if your presence shifts, your family shifts, your
• 1:04:43
  business shifts, your money shifts, your client shift, your
• 1:04:48
  everything shifts presently also the future shifts.
• 1:04:54
  Because all it takes when you go in, when you walk in with God,
• 1:04:58
  all it takes is one shift like that.
• 1:05:00
  And that's when a separation is made.
• 1:05:02
  Yep, all it takes is a crack. And you end up in a place that
• 1:05:06
  you would never designed to be in.
• 1:05:09
  So when? You choose alignment and you
• 1:05:12
  choose regulation, no matter how dark, how deep, and how much the
• 1:05:19
  work is. Think about the shifts.
• 1:05:25
  That means you got to say, OK, man, I'm going to do what needs
• 1:05:29
  to be done. I got to get in my word.
• 1:05:33
  I got to go to the gym. I got to forgive.
• 1:05:36
  I got to do this because if I don't do this, I'm not going to
• 1:05:41
  be able to see the shift in my children.
• 1:05:43
  Who am I to allow a father wound, a family wound, a friend
• 1:05:49
  wound to wound my daughter and what happened are not healed.
• 1:05:55
  They become infected and it becomes infected then that
• 1:05:59
  infection effects. That's why I love the fact that
• 1:06:04
  Jesus the ultimate leader did not show up.
• 1:06:07
  It did not show up to meet his followers with the womb.
• 1:06:14
  Thomas was like man. I don't know if he resurrected.
• 1:06:19
  He said He would never leave us or forsake as he.
• 1:06:22
  He had some good times walking with Jesus.
• 1:06:25
  Jesus did not show himself to Thomas right off the cross.
• 1:06:30
  Right. The wounds were fresh.
• 1:06:32
  As a good leader, he showed him the scars.
• 1:06:36
  The scars reveal a lesson. When?
• 1:06:41
  You have family when you have children.
• 1:06:44
  When you have an audience, you want them to see the scars, not.
• 1:06:49
  Your testimony, yeah. The Bible says we open by the
• 1:06:54
  blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies.
• 1:06:58
  That's why you have to heal. Yeah.
• 1:07:02
  People are making deals without being healed and there's.
• 1:07:07
  And we see it. We see it all the time.
• 1:07:10
  And so you have to take time to heal.
• 1:07:13
  You got to say, God, show me how to forgive, pops.
• 1:07:15
  Show me how to forgive, Mom. Show me how to forgive this
• 1:07:18
  person. You can't get your next if you
• 1:07:20
  haven't forgiven your ex. You got to.
• 1:07:21
  You got. To 1.
• 1:07:22
  Next, you got to heal, do what must be done so that you can do
• 1:07:27
  at a higher level. And so that's what I have for
• 1:07:30
  that questionnaire. This is so I.
• 1:07:34
  Know, I know listeners, I may not not have been very
• 1:07:39
  practical. I have a lot of practical
• 1:07:41
  things, but sometimes you just need an anointed word.
• 1:07:46
  If I give you steps and you don't take time to heal, you're
• 1:07:49
  going to miss steps on my steps. Yeah.
• 1:07:53
  So maybe this message was for you to just say I need to go
• 1:07:56
  forgive my dad. I need to get into word more.
• 1:07:59
  Maybe that's what this all was about.
• 1:08:03
  And what I truly believe about this podcast is that God will
• 1:08:09
  get it to the people that need to hear it and need to see it.
• 1:08:13
  And they'll get what they need to get how they need to get it.
• 1:08:16
  Because there is somebody listening to this is getting a
• 1:08:18
  completely different interpretation than someone
• 1:08:21
  else. Because that's one thing God's
• 1:08:22
  going to do. He's going to use it and he
• 1:08:24
  knows his children. And he's going to get that
• 1:08:27
  message to you where you get it, where you feel convicted.
• 1:08:32
  You'll feel it in your spirit or it'll make you stop, or he'll
• 1:08:37
  pop you up on the algorithm how you popped up on my algorithm.
• 1:08:40
  And now we're here today, and this conversation is happening
• 1:08:43
  and this is going to ripple and others will rise.
• 1:08:47
  Amen. Oh, that's good.
• 1:08:48
  Yes, ma'am. Yes.
• 1:08:50
  So what does God design success require internally?
• 1:08:56
  Great question. It it requires you to be
• 1:08:59
  theologically sound. Script is sound.
• 1:09:03
  We're not talking about like the Pharisees, We talking about
• 1:09:06
  knowing the Father's voice by know by reading the Father's
• 1:09:10
  words. Yet people always looking for a
• 1:09:14
  Rhema word but won't take time to read the written word.
• 1:09:17
  You want to hear the new thing from God, but have not adopted
• 1:09:21
  the the the old ancient original things of God.
• 1:09:25
  It requires God's original emphasis, requires you to know
• 1:09:29
  Him. Yeah.
• 1:09:31
  One of the greatest things I have ever, man, one of the
• 1:09:37
  greatest things I've ever heard my wife say about me is that she
• 1:09:41
  says I know you know God. Yeah, that's the best compliment
• 1:09:45
  you can. Hear the best compliment.
• 1:09:47
  I walk with him like I tell people like man, walk with him,
• 1:09:52
  talk with him, get to know him. Don't be a person that just
• 1:09:56
  knows about him. You know him for yourself.
• 1:10:01
  Listen, the best meals are cooked at home.
• 1:10:03
  Stop only eating at church. Buffets come.
• 1:10:07
  You're handed meals and that second handed meal can have some
• 1:10:13
  genetically modified ingredients.
• 1:10:16
  You got to go and know how to cook up your own spiritual meals
• 1:10:20
  for yourself. Yeah.
• 1:10:24
  So you have to know him for yourself because there's going
• 1:10:26
  to be moments where your pastor ain't going to pick up the
• 1:10:28
  phone, your intercessor ain't going to pick up the phone, The
• 1:10:32
  prophet has been has gone to another city.
• 1:10:34
  He ain't going to pick up the phone.
• 1:10:36
  And you're going to have to look to the hills from which cometh
• 1:10:38
  your help. Yep.
• 1:10:40
  For yourself, so number one, you got to get to know him.
• 1:10:44
  How do you do that practically? I want you to write down all the
• 1:10:48
  areas you're struggling in when it comes to fatherhood, when it
• 1:10:51
  comes to your relationship with God and go to chat to me, go to
• 1:10:56
  Google and say I'm struggling with this.
• 1:11:00
  Give me scriptures on these particular areas so that you can
• 1:11:05
  find out God's attribute. Give me scripts of God's love.
• 1:11:10
  Give me scripts on God's attributes of why he's
• 1:11:12
  immutable. Give me scripts on God's
• 1:11:14
  attributes on him being merciful.
• 1:11:17
  And and so can those scriptures. For instance, when you marinate
• 1:11:22
  chicken Doctor Nicole, before you put that chicken in that
• 1:11:26
  teriyaki marinade or whatever the marinade is, it is just
• 1:11:29
  chicken. But when you allowed that
• 1:11:31
  chicken to soak in that marinade, that marinade changes
• 1:11:34
  the name of the chicken. OK.
• 1:11:37
  So then when you the first thing you taste is not the chicken
• 1:11:41
  itself, you taste what it was marinated in.
• 1:11:45
  So when people bite from your life, they should taste
• 1:11:48
  scripture. Just go home, go home, hang up
• 1:11:50
  now because I mean, we are about the rap.
• 1:11:54
  We about the rap though. But but keep going.
• 1:11:58
  Yeah, so you have to make sure that you you know God for
• 1:12:01
  yourself #2 you got to know yourself.
• 1:12:03
  You got to know yourself. How has God wired you?
• 1:12:08
  I don't make copies. He makes originals, and
• 1:12:11
  originals will always be worth more than copies.
• 1:12:14
  If you have forsaken yourself for the fellowship of others, my
• 1:12:17
  friend, you're going to have internal regret.
• 1:12:21
  You got to let you. Not only should you love
• 1:12:23
  yourself, most of us, most people love themselves.
• 1:12:26
  Because you ain't killed yourself.
• 1:12:27
  You know I'm saying you love yourself, But the real question
• 1:12:30
  is that if you love you, do you like you?
• 1:12:34
  Come on. And it's a lot of people.
• 1:12:36
  They do not like themselves you and it shows.
• 1:12:40
  And it shows. And if there's something about
• 1:12:42
  you that you don't like, that can be changed, change it.
• 1:12:44
  If you don't like your weight, go to the gym.
• 1:12:46
  But listen, tell you this, I have this Nigerian forehead, the
• 1:12:49
  Ebo tribe, we are known by this big forehead.
• 1:12:52
  OK. I did not.
• 1:12:54
  I never thought about that, but I have seen the similarity.
• 1:12:57
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big forehead and for years I
• 1:13:02
  would angle myself in pictures to hide the forehead.
• 1:13:06
  I didn't like the forehead. You know what God told me?
• 1:13:08
  Said Son, you can't change that. You can change your weight, but
• 1:13:11
  you can't change your forehead. I made you that way, so you got
• 1:13:15
  It's crazy how many of us, the woman you gave me, Adam and Eve,
• 1:13:18
  messed up because they blamed what God gave them.
• 1:13:24
  Color you gave me, the height you gave me, the voice you gave
• 1:13:29
  me. First of all, it's a gift.
• 1:13:31
  That's a gift. I used to hate my voice, dot
• 1:13:36
  really like everybody, my voice. I used to not like my voice and
• 1:13:39
  God said. But your voice is powerful.
• 1:13:41
  Exactly. I didn't know that God was
• 1:13:44
  telling me that there are people who are tuned to your voice
• 1:13:47
  frequency. Oh, come on.
• 1:13:50
  If you close your voice, Moses says.
• 1:13:53
  But I started, he said. But who made your lips?
• 1:13:57
  I'm done. You talking to a preacher?
• 1:14:00
  I I'll be here for my videos be an hour and a half, two hours
• 1:14:03
  long. Listen, sometimes my episodes be
• 1:14:05
  that long and I split them in two.
• 1:14:07
  OK? So on that note, I'm sorry, were
• 1:14:11
  you going to say something? No, no, no, you're fine.
• 1:14:13
  You're fine. OK, so if you could leave our
• 1:14:16
  audience with one powerful truth to help them rise and thrive,
• 1:14:21
  what would it be? You are his beloved.
• 1:14:25
  You are his beloved. He is in love with you.
• 1:14:30
  You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you're
• 1:14:34
  supposed to fearfully and wonderfully make.
• 1:14:37
  God has created you with such or such beauty, such purpose.
• 1:14:43
  It's OK to be you. You won't be able to love until
• 1:14:47
  you know that you were His beloved.
• 1:14:49
  So I want you to take that word beloved, and I want you to do a
• 1:14:52
  study on the word beloved and what it means to be His beloved
• 1:14:55
  because you're not going to be able, like the Bible says,
• 1:14:58
  beloved, don't believe everything, but test everything
• 1:15:02
  to see if it's of God. Your beliefs are going to be off
• 1:15:06
  and you're not going to be able to test if you don't know that
• 1:15:09
  you're beloved by the best. That's the last thing I got to
• 1:15:11
  say for those. That is perfect.
• 1:15:15
  Thank you so much for your presence today and just blending
• 1:15:21
  your coaching and your your biblical knowledge and putting
• 1:15:25
  it in a way that I think it's easy to digest and just I'm
• 1:15:31
  unlocking, I think a lot of things.
• 1:15:33
  And it's my prayer that this episode, it gives people
• 1:15:38
  permission. Yes, that's.
• 1:15:40
  It or whatever it is that it just, it gives them permission.
• 1:15:45
  All right, audience. Well, this is where we shift to
• 1:15:48
  you. It's time for you to reflect
• 1:15:50
  where in your life are you leading well, publicly, but
• 1:15:53
  neglecting regulation privately? And then I want you to take
• 1:15:58
  action. One, this is 1 practical step
• 1:16:01
  that I want you to take this week to move towards emotional
• 1:16:06
  regulation and spiritual alignment.
• 1:16:09
  So if that means just starting your day with your Bible or not
• 1:16:13
  starting it with your phone first, right?
• 1:16:16
  Put God at closer to the top of your top ten.
• 1:16:19
  It's still progress. Like ideally we would love one,
• 1:16:22
  but start somewhere. And then I'm going to leave you
• 1:16:27
  with your affirmation. I am aligned, regulated and
• 1:16:30
  entrusted with success. That brings peace, not pressure.
• 1:16:35
  Coach Josh, thank you for being here today and just blessing me
• 1:16:39
  and everyone else because I believe a lot, a lot of things.
• 1:16:44
  There's some seeds that were planted, this being watered and
• 1:16:47
  all the things. If people want to connect with
• 1:16:50
  you, how can they do so? Yes, you can connect with me on
• 1:16:53
  Instagram at my Coach Josh as well as I believe Tik Tok's the
• 1:16:58
  same way at at my Coach Josh. Or you can go to YouTube or
• 1:17:02
  LinkedIn and type in Joshua Ezzy.
• 1:17:04
  Or you can just go to my website mycoachjosh.com and all my stuff
• 1:17:09
  is there. Love the psychology behind that
• 1:17:12
  already. My coach Josh, you've already
• 1:17:15
  telling the people, OK, I love this.
• 1:17:18
  Well, thank you so much you all. And I want to encourage you if
• 1:17:23
  this has blessed you, leave some feedback.
• 1:17:26
  Make sure you like, subscribe, follow and share it with someone
• 1:17:30
  else to help somebody else to rise and thrive.
• 1:17:34
  And as always, I'll see you next week.
• 1:17:37
  Remember to shop the merch, go to www.evolve at Doctor J
• 1:17:41
  nicole.com and click Shop the Merchant.
• 1:17:44
  It'll take you to it. And I just want to thank you all
• 1:17:47
  for being here again today and I will see you next week.
• 1:17:51
  Keep rising in faith. Keep thriving in purpose.
• 1:17:55
  Amen.