Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / A Lesson From Dolly

Transcript

A Lesson From Dolly · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: A lesson we can all learn from Dolly. It's one
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing. I got
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: a theory lifestyle thing I've been wanting to discuss anyway,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and it fits in perfect with the passing of Dolly Parton.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Something I've been thinking about for a couple of days
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: might be one of the keys to her success. But
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: before we get to that conversation about how to live
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: your life, Dolly Parton was a regular guest on The
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. They had a particularly good rapport,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: so it was always a good one. She'd show up
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: on there. I remember watching it as a kid. This
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: is kind of a classic clip here.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: What's the song you said you made up?
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Well, I wrote this song because it's been real good
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: for me ever since I started on your show. And
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: you said one time, once I got to be real famous,
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: I probably wouldn't come back on the show.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: But I always will. I'm here about as much as
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Good friends can say that.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's what I mean.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: We can say anything. But I was only kidding because
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: everybody kid you about it.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I only like the show.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: Well, I think other people do a good job, but
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I only really like to watch it when you're on.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: And I don't call it The Tonight Show.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: To me, it's The Johnny Carson Show.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: You're saying all the right things.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: No, I'm serious.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: So.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: You want me to roll that point?
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: No, I'm going to kick it a little. As good
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: as I can with this nail.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: But it's all in the words, and it's, you know,
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I think it is.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Now, it's not supposed to be too serious, so.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I have come a long way from the hills of
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Tennessee And I've worked hard to make the folks back
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: home real proud of me Now everybody knows my name.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: No matter where I go.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: But I never really made it until the Johnny Carson
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Show I have dreamed of stardom since I was just
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: a kid. A million dollar dream beneath this $ 13 wig.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: In my bell-bottom jumpsuits with my rhinestones all aglow, I
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: became an overnight success from the Johnny Carson show. From
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: polyester paradise to silk and satin frills. From a 48-foot
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: mobile home to a mansion on the hill. From moonshine
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: to rare wine, from a packard to a rose. But
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I never really made it till the Johnny Carson show. Now,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: there's only one small problem. Sometimes I get disturbed. The
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: folks sometimes get me confused with Monty Rock III. But still,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I think it's worth it. And I just thought you
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: should know that I'll always owe a special thanks to
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: the Johnny Carson Show. I went from pop beads to diamonds,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: from car coats to fur, from Kmart to Gucci's, from
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: here no telling where, from hillbilly heaven to a penthouse
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: on the coast, but I never really made it till
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: the Johnny Carson show.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: From whatever to Gucci there, yeah. So here's what I
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: was thinking about with trying to figure out why Dolly
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Parton is so beloved. Since her passing yesterday, as we
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: mentioned many times on the radio show, everybody from, I mean, musically,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: from Metallica to Every Country Act to just Eminem and
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Heavy D and rappers and just everybody like putting out
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: a tweet of how much you're going to miss Dolly Parton.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And then politicians and governments from around the world, just
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: all this different sort of stuff. But I was wondering about,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I don't remember where I came across this the other day.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Was it a person talking theology? Was it a therapist?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Was it a, I remember where it came from. But anyway,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: but this idea is sort of ancient. It's the idea
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: of trying to put out more good vibes in the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: world than bad vibes and And that it has an
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: effect on all different kinds of things. And I think
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Dolly Parton probably had a good effect on like practically
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: everybody she ran into. And then that kind of spreads.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: But just the example being like, if I'm being a
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: jerk and in a bad mood and I'm rude to
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: a waiter, then that waiter might be, you know, not
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: very nice to his boss, right? And his boss might
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: go home and not be very nice to his wife
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: or her husband. And then that person goes to work
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: the next day and treats that, you know, just how
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: it has ripples as opposed to the opposite, where if
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: you're kind of cheery and nice and give them a
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: good tip and say you did a really good job
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: and they're in a better mood and the boss feels
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: better about himself and he goes home and he's nicer
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to his kids. Just do you believe in that idea
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: of just everybody putting out vibes in the world and
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: that if everybody put out better vibes, the world will
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: be a better place? Or is that like over.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Exaggerating one's effect on things. No, I don't.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: Well, it depends what you perceive your effect on things
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: would be. I suppose you could be delusional or have
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: delusions of grandeur. But no, in general, yeah, of course
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: that's true. If people are more pleasant, the world would
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: be a more pleasant place. And everybody ought to try. Yeah,
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: I believe that 100%. It's not going to lead to
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: a perfect world or the end of strife and crime
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: and dishonesty and graft and the rest of it, but
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: it'll make it a hell of a lot more pleasant.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I don't think most people think about their bad acts,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: especially the small ones of having the effect sort of
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: thing that I just laid out. Just a minor thing
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: with somebody that could make them a little grumpier to
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: their kid or boy, just, you know, and then builds
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: and builds and builds or transfers a little at a
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: time and the opposite. And then, like, a person at
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Dolly Parton, I would guess that, like, every meeting she
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: was in or whatever was a little nicer and calmer
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: and people left feeling a little better than if they
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: were in a meeting with, I don't know, who's a
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: legendary a-hole to work with? I don't know who, but.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, anybody who works in.
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, it would be so funny right now to name
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: somebody we actually work with.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I can pick one.
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Anybody who works in... customer service can relate to
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: what you're talking about because i remember being a cashier
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: at trader joe's and i could be up on that
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: register for two and a half hours and then one
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: person would come in and be a dick and there
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: goes my mood for the rest of the day everybody
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: and for some reason negativity overrides kindness in certain ways
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: right it just takes that one little thing where you're.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Like yeah probably shouldn't but yeah i feel like You
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: could run into five really nice, pleasant people in a row,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: and one bad person could override that easily.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: As opposed to the other way around.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we're probably made that way for a specific reason,
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: but I suppose fighting against it is probably a good idea.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: You know, it's funny, you were asking that question, and
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: I was getting distracted because I was thinking of people
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: who are unpleasant to other people, or at least less
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: pleasant than they ought to be, because they perceive that
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: person to be below them. And I thought, no, that's
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: kind of a distraction from what Jack was talking about,
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: but no, that's, it's a perfect thing to bring into
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: the Dolly Parton discussion.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Cause she was, she, how often was she around anybody
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: that she wasn't above by like any measure of success
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: you would have very rarely.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: And I, there are certain cultural norms as I've moved
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: around the country. It's been really interesting to see different
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: people of different economic status in different parts of the
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: country behave in, in little different ways. Um, But the
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: idea of when the, uh, the busser or whatever, the
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: assistant waiter comes to your table and fills your water,
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: refills your water. You can, I've, I, I always say
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: thank you. Um, but I've known people who would consider
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: it ridiculous to even acknowledge their presence there.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: I will say, I didn't even look at them. I
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: will say, I will state it flatly. We, uh, We've
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: had many, many bosses, Joe and I.
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: We still have like, I don't know, 50 people we
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: could call our boss if we wanted to use that terminology. Anyway,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: I was told one time, Katie, by a boss when
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: the waiter came and did that, filled the water. And
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I said, thank you. He said, no, no, no, no.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: You don't talk to the waiters. That's not the way
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: you're supposed to. Because he felt like he was, because
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a hick from nowhere, he was schooling me on
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: the way you're supposed to handle nice restaurants. You don't
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: acknowledge him or talk to him. You're not supposed to
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: do that. Like what? We have a very background.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: What?
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: We have a very, very nice restaurant that we basically
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: celebrate all family events together. I tip all of the
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: the bussers because nobody pays attention to them.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Oh. Oh, they get a share of the server's tips,
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: but certainly if you'd like to, then.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Go do it.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: Because I was a busser, and I know what it's
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: like to go refill the waters, and it's like you're
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: not even there. And one person says thank you, which
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: is greatly appreciated, but it's like, I mean, they're not
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: doing anything less.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: They're working their butts off. What's the downside of saying
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: thanks when somebody fills your water glass?
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: There is no downside.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: To reassert your status.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Because people people need that they.
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: Need to feel superior to others now your status is
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: gross if that's the case.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Well i guess is that what it's born of with
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: that individual it seemed to me the way it was
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: presented to me that like if i'm with a group
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: of other people that are at my lofty status It's
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: a bad signal to them that I don't know I'm
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: not supposed to say anything to the person who filled
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: my water.
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: No, this is ridiculous.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Which I don't care about. That's a human being.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: They're working their butt off. You said thank you, which
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: is the nice thing to do, and it shows that
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: you have manners.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: You're the lower classes, Katie. Well, then call me a peasant. Right.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: And if I'm at a table with some people who
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: are going to think, and there's somebody who does not
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: understand how the world works or is a poltroon or whatever, fine,
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I'll be okay. You guys got any change?
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: There you go.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: And this is the United States of America, famously one
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: of the most class-mobile societies ever on Earth. One of
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: my daughter's friends did, I think it was a year
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: at one of your fairly elite British universities, And the
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: class system is much more entrenched in Britain and it
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: is not a thing of the past. And she was
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: so shocked initially, then interested and occasionally amused that it
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: became infinitely clear. And they're not subtle about it, that
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: you are not in our class. You will not hang
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: out with us. You will not talk to us. You
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: are not welcome here at all. And then, then you've
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: got a country like India. where they make Britain look,
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: you know, like they're classless. So, yeah, it's, but getting
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: back to Dolly Parton, she was immensely wealthy, popular, famous,
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: and unaware of her ever acting as if she was
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: better than anyone. That's part of why she's an American icon,
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: because that's, going back to the founders, that is one
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: of the bedrock principles on which this country was founded,
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: that people don't, I think, appreciate, um, enough.
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: This might be a little disconnected, but when I was
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: working at a major alternative radio station in San Francisco,
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: I was on, I was the cohost of the morning
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: show and I worked at trader Joe's at the same time.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: And that was humbling because I had like listeners because
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: I would talk about it on the air and then
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: listeners would come in and see me like stalking cereal.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: What's up guys.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah. No big head there.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: No.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: That whole status, I hate the status steps that we
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: take sometimes. It's really not cool.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I'm right with you, Katie.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: I hate it.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Michael. I thought you were implying that you're
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: stocking cereal now, but you're not. No, I wasn't. I
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: did bus table, so.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: Michael, we had such an overflow yesterday. We had to
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: schedule another autograph session for you. So there's like 75
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: people lined up, so. If you could get out to
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: the lobby, that'd be great. All right.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I just thought it's an extra motivation as if being
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: nice to the one individual you're interacting with isn't enough
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: that you could affect 15 people that day by being
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: slightly rude to this person.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Surely you don't want to do that.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: It's a ripple effect, like you said.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. One of the most important things I learned as
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: a busser, it's funny that most of us did that,
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: is if you're filling the waters and you drop the
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: pitcher and knock over a glass or something and spill
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: the water everywhere.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I was perfect, so I don't know what that's about.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: Everybody's so distracted and so frantic, you can reach into
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: somebody's purse and fish around. and see if you can
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: get your own tip.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Well, that was back in the old days. That's more
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: gross behavior. You could grab several phones. You'd probably have
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: three phones in your pocket.
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Everybody's going to try to self-off with him, and then
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: at some point he's going to say, I'm so sorry.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Where's my phone?
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: You see your phone.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: What kind of heathens are you? I don't think that's what... Hey,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: you got to look out for number one, lady. Just
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: like Dolly Parton.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: What?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Just like Dolly. I used to be a buster, and
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I would tell the people, you know, this is nice,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: but I'm a millionaire. I just do this to hang
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: out with the little people.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: Like you.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.