Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Forgiveness Is an Inside Job: Living in the Question as a Highly Sensitive Woman

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Forgiveness Is an Inside Job: Living in the Question as a Highly Sensitive Woman · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

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Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
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the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
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is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
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and sense the world in ways that are hard to
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explain, but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
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your sensitivity as a strength, not something
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to fix. Through reflections, realignment, and
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soul -led stories, we remember how to move through
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life in a way that feels true to who we really
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are. This is your space to rise, to realign,
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and to come home again and again to your own
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wise, sensitive, authentic self. So last week,
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episode 45 was called It Doesn't Have to Weigh
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You Down Anymore. Face it, feel it, and rise
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above it. Of course, words can mean different
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things to different people. We always have times,
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I'm sure, you can relate to when somebody, you
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know, misunderstood something you said because
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what those words meant to somebody else was different.
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But what did arose last episode was, you know,
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I talked about... you know, the clearing that
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happens before threshold, right? Like, last week,
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I had shared about the new moon, an anniversary
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that's coming up for me, you know, and just other
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opportunities for us to recognize that these
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thresholds, you know, They do. They allow us
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some ability to see what doors are closing and
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what might be opening, right? And, you know,
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we have the fall equinox coming up on Tuesday,
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which again, like that's a period of time that
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I didn't used to understand. I did not understand
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these. thresholds the way I do now. And it's
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just such an honor and pleasure for me to discover
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the magic around these and to share them with
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other sensitive women who are curious and like,
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yeah, what about that? But, and, you know, of
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course, I also talked last week about that depth
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of processing that sensitive systems have and
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how much more we take in and how we need time
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to process and release it, right? And how we're
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each uniquely imperfectly perfect, that no one
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else is living in your body or has lived through
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your history. or is going through whatever shifts
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you are going through because of where you are
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on that spiral of life, right? The cosmos influence
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us, right? Our ancestral imprinting. There's
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so much that... goes into who we are and what
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we experience. And I just love to speak from
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my heart around my own understanding and experiences,
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because I've said before that, you know, I was
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somebody who grew up in America, public schools,
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right? Very conditioned in the sense of, you
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know, you care about what other people think,
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right? You get embarrassed if you cry in public,
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you apologize, like, All kinds of, you know,
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kind of crazy nuances, right? But as, you know,
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we're able to rise up out of our old conditions,
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our old patterns, right? And heal even our ancestral
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lineage, right? Like there is so much more freedom
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and awareness that we're able to tap into. And
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as highly sensitive individuals, we know, right?
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There are research, there are... you know, fMRI
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scans so much that explains, you know, why we
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have this higher awareness and even access to
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higher intelligence, right? Why we're conscientious,
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right? Why we choose the fields that we choose,
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right? Why many of us are in the helping fields,
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right? And the healing arts. So just a little
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reminder, I view highly sensitive individuals,
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you know, on this awakening journey of awareness
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as the heart of humanity, you know, because it's
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not easy to feel things so deeply. You know,
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it's not easy to, you know, process the added
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stimuli that we're taking in, right? I do really
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see us as designed this way for not only an evolutionary
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reason for all of humanity, right, for all of
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planet Earth and the universe in general, but
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just for our own, you know, process of waking
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up and realizing that there is so much more than
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most of us have ever been shown or knew. And
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one thing that, you know, I always like to acknowledge
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that, you know, we each are where we are on our
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journey of awakening. And some of us wake up
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in this lifetime at different ages and stages,
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and some of us don't in this lifetime. And that's
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not bad or wrong or less than, right? We've probably
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also lived other lifetimes where we weren't waking
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up within it, right? And so this is what I like,
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why I like to talk to sensitive souls, right?
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Because when we just understand that there's
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so much that cannot be comprehended by our humanness,
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right? But that we are, again, those divine human
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beings, right? And we need to... be in the place
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of being with, you know, all that we are feeling
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and seeing and, you know, the awareness that
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we are waking up to, to actually embrace our
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sensitivity, right? To really embrace whatever
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is arising in the moment for us and to let go.
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of judgment, to let go of, you know, whatever's
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still lingering that we're ready to let go of.
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You know, just hearing myself say that the word
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forgiveness comes up in my mind. And I sense
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that not only myself, but others, you know, maybe
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you've experienced things where you're like,
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I should be able to forgive this person, you
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know, I should be able to be around them, you
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know, like, why? What makes us think that because
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we want to, you know, live from our hearts and,
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you know, be peaceful, loving individuals, that
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that means that forgiveness equates to still
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having somebody in your life or Or yeah, just
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being around them in a way that, you know, you're
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challenging yourself, right? And again, there's
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no judgment and there's no timeframe either.
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So I think it's important, you know, when we
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think of forgiveness, that it's always an inside
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job. And it's something that we always want to
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be attuned to. What is arising within us, you
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know, because if there is something lingering
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within myself or within you, you know, when you
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think about a certain person or, you know, yeah,
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we'll just keep it with a certain person. Like
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to allow yourself to be curious about like, well,
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why is this still here? you know, and not judge
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yourself for not being able to forgive that person
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or yourself, however you're viewing it, but to
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be curious about, okay, what is this that is
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still here? Because it's information that is
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important for you, or it wouldn't still be there.
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I think that's really important. You know, in
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my own personal life, there have been a couple
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of experiences in this last month, you know,
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where an exchange with someone else or not even
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an exchange, an experience, because the other
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person might not even have been, you know, like
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talking with me per se, right? But if something
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is arising within me when I'm thinking about
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that person or when something occurs that involves
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that other person, right? Like that's information
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for me. That's for me to be curious of like,
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what is this about? You know, what is this informing
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me of? Like, how can I be with this and really
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understand it? Right. Cause the old me, the younger
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version of me, you know, would more often want
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to talk about, you know, can you believe this?
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Or, you know, even maybe just talk about how
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I'm feeling. Right. And kind of amp it up where
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now in my, you know, calmer, you know, more,
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um, calm and centered, right? Coherent space.
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I have the bandwidth, right? To be more curious
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about, okay, like this is about me. So what can
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I discover about it? I don't know about you,
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but curiosity, like That's my guiding force,
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I feel, you know, curiosity around like, hmm,
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why is this happening? Or why did that happen?
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You know, or what else is possible? You know,
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or how do we rise up out of that? Or, you know,
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just so many questions. I think that that's what
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I love about being a highly sensitive woman,
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right? I am more expansive, you know, in my curiosity
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and living in the question instead of being content
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with an answer, right? Because an answer just
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that can change, right? Like, even if you think
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about when you make a decision, right? Like a
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decision that can sound so final, right? Like
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I made this decision. Well, how many times has
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it changed? right? Like how many times has you
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or someone you know made a decision and then
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changed their mind, right? Changed the decision.
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And I think that's where living in the question
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and, you know, staying connected to curiosity
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is really beautiful, you know? Because even when
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I think of you know, the protective mind, as
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I call it, you know, like it can create worst
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case scenarios for us, right? It can create,
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you know, visuals of unpleasantries, you know,
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it can be the loudest inner critic, right? It
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can place meaning on things that are just horrible,
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right? So living in what I call the possibility
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voice, right? Like, that's where, again, like,
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there's a fluidity there. There's an expansiveness
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there, right? It's like, well, how else can I
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see this? How else can I understand this? How
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else can I approach this? Right? Like, But when
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we live in the decision or we live in what we
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might call an answer of like, well, that person's
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just manipulative or, you know, that person's
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just X, Y, Z, whatever it is that comes to your
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mind, right? But when we can live in more of
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the question, and even for me, like, you know,
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if I am encountering somebody who's difficult
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in my personal, you know, world, You know, I
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can come to that place that I was just speaking
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to earlier about forgiveness in the sense of,
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okay, I can step out of this situation and see
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that they may be navigating some real difficulties
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within themselves. And that's the best that they
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can do right now. Right? Like, I can then make
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that choice of, okay, well, what else is possible?
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Is it possible for me to forgive, right? To really
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just release that frustration, that irritation
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or whatever they threw at me, right? Or is it
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more of, you know, I can see that they have their
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own challenges and for me right now, it's best
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to stay away, to create space and distance, right?
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So it doesn't have to be a lack of forgiveness.
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It doesn't have to be a carrying of a wound,
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right? Like really understand this depth of processing
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gives us the ability to see things from many
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different perspectives. And what I want to say
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is, As a reminder, those of us who are highly
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sensitive and we're taking in way more stimuli
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and data, right, than those who don't have this
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trait, we can also be the most overwhelmed and
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least aware individuals because we do need that
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breathing room. We do need that space to be able
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to see things from a broader perspective. So
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I really want to bring this back to why I love,
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you know, my career path and where it's led me.
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I've been a licensed clinical social worker since
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1997 and a licensed independent clinical social
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worker since 98. And when I look back on like,
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what are the themes? Like, what's, what's the.
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common thread through, you know, my career path
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as a social worker, as, you know, again, somebody
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who just really cares about advocating and supporting
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individuals and helping them see their own innate
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greatness, right? Like, it's been about, you
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know, connecting with the breath. It's been about,
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you know, let's take a break and breathe love,
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right? Like it's been about, let's come into
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this present moment so that we can really feel
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the support beneath our bodies so that we can
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really open up to, you know, the higher source,
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you know, that there's so much more than just
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this physical reality. And I have to say that,
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you know, this is the greatest time of my life
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in my career because the sensitive women who
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have been drawn to work with me and continue
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to work with me, like it's such a privilege and
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an honor to witness their own growth and expansion
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and, you know, just. I love guiding women back
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into their body, their breath, and to release,
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you know, what they've been carrying. Because
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a lot of us, again, you know, we carry so much
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more because of that depth of processing. And
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we need to breathe. You know, we need to be grounded.
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We need to be connecting with our breath and
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our body. And that can look different for every
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one of us, right? Like roughly 20%. um, of us
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equal between males and females are highly sensitive.
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And so it's going to look different, right? Like
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some people are really interested in yoga and
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they may have a consistent yoga practice, right?
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I mean, other people are really into music and
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I mean, there's so many different ways. I love,
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again, being in the mental health field, guiding
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women through not only my own heart wisdom realignment
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process, but just slowing things down and connecting
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with the moment, right? The breath, the body,
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and to just open communication there, right?
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So many of us don't even have a relationship
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with our own body. And I often say, hey, your
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body is your number one best friend. Like it
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is the only body that you are ever always with.
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Anybody else, like, sure, they may weigh in.
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You may have somebody that you say, oh, this
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is my best friend. Because, you know. they're
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there for me the most, right? And it's just like,
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I hear you, I get it, right? I mean, I certainly
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grew up, love the idea of, you know, always having
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a best friend. But sometimes in life, you know,
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when you even reflect on your own childhood,
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right? There were probably times when you're
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like, oh, I didn't have a best friend, you know,
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maybe it was middle school, or maybe it was high
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school, maybe it was even adulthood, right? Where
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there's just times where you're like, no, I just
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didn't. But guess what? If we understand that
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our body is our own truest best friend, guess
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what? We are never without a best friend. So
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I really do invite you to deepen your own relationship
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with yourself, with your body. Because the more
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we understand, love, and accept ourselves, Oh,
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it is so much easier to love, understand, you
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know, and accept others as they are. While also
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still carrying your own discernment around who
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and when you want to be around others, right?
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So this seems like a great time to take a break
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and breathe love. And I just want to remind you
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again why we do this, why this is so important,
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right? We don't need to think so much. We really
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want to deepen our connection and our relationship
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with our breath, with our body, with the present
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moment and what is, whatever that is. Sometimes
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it's stillness, it's silence. right? Sometimes
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we are juggling a lot and it's like a tornado
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around us, right? But taking a break and breathing
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love is what helps to ground us in the present
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moment, even if there's storms, inner storms
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or outer storms, however you want to look at
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that. So right now, wherever you are, And again,
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if you're driving or doing anything regarding
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safety, always, always tend to your safety first.
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And I invite you to just soften your eyelids
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and just notice the support beneath you. Whether
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you're standing, sitting, laying down, wherever
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you are, just feel that surface beneath you.
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And notice how it is supporting you and where
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it is supporting you. Do you feel support under
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your feet? Under your legs? Your bottom? Your
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back? Your head? Just noticing. Now bring your
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attention to your breath. And just notice. how
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the breath is already moving. It doesn't require
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your conscious effort. You're just noticing the
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breath as it moves through your nostrils, through
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your mouth. Then I invite you, if you so choose,
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to rub your hands together. Fast, slow circles,
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however you want to do it. Just creating some
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movement there. And then slowly separate your
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hands about a half to an inch apart. And just
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see if you sense any electrical impulse, any
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energy, any subtle sensations of any kind. And
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just notice as you're breathing. And I invite
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you to put your hands on your heart. And just
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connect. Connect with your breath. Connect with
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your heart. And start deepening your breath.
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On the inhale, think of lengthening your spine.
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And on the exhale, relaxing and releasing any
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tension in your shoulders. On the inhale, opening
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your chest. On the exhale, releasing, relaxing
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any tension in your belly. And again, inhaling
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deeply, nice tall long spine, opening your chest,
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and then a nice long and slow exhale out your
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mouth. Just release, relax, and let go of whatever
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you've been carrying. You don't need it in this
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moment. Just breathe. into your body and just
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be present right here and now. Maybe do a scan
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from your toes up to your head and just notice
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if there's any sensations anywhere, any area
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that may be calling for some attention. Maybe
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you place one of your hands on that spot. And
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just breathe a little more deeply into that area.
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Again, we call this take a break and breathe
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love. So breathing in more love. Right? Connecting
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to your heart space where there is a wellspring.
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Just requires us to tune into it. Beautiful.
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And I invite you to continue with that as long
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as you so choose. And just remember, we want
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to be doing this more often throughout each day
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because as highly sensitive individuals, there's
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always going to be more. always going to be more
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to do, you know, more ideas, more things you
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notice, right? Like, again, that's part of your
26:17
high resolution navigational system, right? It's
26:21
like you're always going to be noticing more.
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So this is why we need to take a break and breathe
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love so that we're creating space for us to release
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what is not ours, what does not need to be carried.
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right? Because again, we need to have that oscillation.
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Otherwise, we get wound up really tight, can
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be high strung, like I used to refer to myself.
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And that's not fun. And besides it not being
26:53
fun, it's very stressful, right? And we cannot
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live in the stress response without developing
27:02
other health challenges. Okay, so your well being
27:07
depends on your ability to take more breaks to
27:13
breathe love, to create that space. And that's
27:18
what allows you to really tap into that. possibility
27:22
voice, that curiosity of what else is possible?
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You know, what else could this mean? Or how else
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can I see this situation or whatever is arising
27:34
for you? Because I assure you, there is such
27:41
a unique brilliance within you. And most of you
27:45
don't even realize it's there. But I assure you,
27:50
It's absolutely there and it's so uniquely yours
27:53
and it's needed in the world, but it's mostly
27:57
needed for you. So I really do want to encourage
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you to see yourself as your truest best friend
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and to develop that relationship. And if this
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sounds really foreign and new, like I get it.
28:13
It's not something that maybe your friends or
28:16
family are talking about. And I certainly want
28:20
you to know that you are welcome to walk this
28:23
path with me. And there's many ways that you
28:27
can do it. You know, I do have this weekly podcast.
28:31
I do have my Rise and Realign letter on Substack.
28:36
You can subscribe there. I also have the Fall
28:41
Equinox Gathering on September 22nd, and you
28:47
can sign up for that. I call it the Sensitivity
28:52
Realignment Spiral because, again, we need to
28:57
walk together to stay awake and aware of how
29:02
amazing, you know, We each are in our unique
29:07
differences and our unique talents and brilliance
29:11
and creativity. And again, when we come together,
29:16
we elevate each other. So you're welcome to join
29:20
me. And, you know, you're always welcome to explore
29:24
any of these ways on my website, realignwithmelissa
29:29
.com. So before we close, I invite you to continue
29:37
to return to your breath, to your body, to what
29:42
feels true for you right now. There's nothing
29:48
you need to fix. Just notice what's here. Where
29:54
the heart leads, the body remembers, and the
29:57
soul awakens. As a reminder, we are here together
30:03
to rise, reclaim, remember. And as always, I'm
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so deeply grateful you're here. You are so important.
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Your voice, your presence, it all matters. Infinite
30:19
value you have. So take good care of you. Much
30:25
love and light.