Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Kayla Nicole Talks Fame, Internet Labels & Confidence

Transcript

Kayla Nicole Talks Fame, Internet Labels & Confidence · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I need you too. That was me.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but this is not We are not praising
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: the Lord.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: So okay, shaking assos legs is out, booty out.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to to Personal Joy Taylor, and today we're
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: joined by someone who is always reminding us that it's tea. Okay,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I'm scared, it's it's tea.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Supersonal. No, she happy that girl? Oh, I was like
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: blushed and I was like, hey, you have to eat
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: us up that bag. God damn, it's not even summer yet.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Where would I do your your last post? Oh? How
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: your email finds me? Oh? The casual headstand? Yeah? How
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: long did it take you to learn how to do
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the headstand?
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Why is a gymnast? So I've been doing headstands? I
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: didn't know that I was five. It's all for a gymnasts,
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I know. I actually didn't grow into like what gymnastics in
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: high school my junior year.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I grew like six inches what you? Oh? Yeah wait,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: so I'll tell her. You know. Oh my god, that
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: was like the shortest of my friend group until I quit.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: That didn't work for me. I was never a gymnast.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: It gould be amazing if I grew six inches.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I'm five to two for life on my best day.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Media personality, content creator, entrepreneur, wellness founder.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Have been to one of her wellness classes. That was
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: so fun. By the way, in New York, shout out
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: to wheeziat Gosh. Now I'm blinking on the name.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: The name of the studio chop Shop House, chop House, Yes,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: shout it's weezy. It's a really really fun workout. If
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: you're in New York, go check it out. So good
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: journalism degree from Pepperdine has worked across ESPN, Barcel major
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: partnerships with brands. She is the founder of Tribe Therapy,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: which is a wellness brand focused on holistic health and
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: self developments, and launched your podcast. I was a guest
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Yes Girl, the pregame with Zeer Media, launching your own
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: platform and having your own voice. And you also competed
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: on Special Forces and one of the only two contestants
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: out of sixteen to complete every challenge.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I was very impressed.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear all about that because I
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: don't like the outside that much, really being outside, but
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: like inside of the outside is a lot.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Like it was the most miserable experience of my life
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: wasn't miserable one hundred percent.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I would never do it again. That's how bad it was.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: What was the worst?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Like, what was what was the moment where you Because
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: when someone asked me, like, what's the most physically uncomfortable
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: you've ever been?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I know exactly what it was. It was.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I was glacier snorkeling in Iceland and they did not
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: put a my dry suit. I have super super microscopic
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: risks and they didn't zip time my risk, so I
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: got I got water in my dry suit and I
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: almost got hypothermia. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: That's also the widest thing that you've ever done. Drug
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: you went, what glacier.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Diving and not in an archictle?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: They gotta be backland. It's spectacular. I will I'll never
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: do it again.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: But under the water is like Avatar like all the
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: it's impossible to explain and you can just drink the
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: water because it's glacier water.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: What was the most uncomfortable on that on.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: That well, first of all, every day I asked myself
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: why am I doing this? Like why am I doing this?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: What am I trying to prove I could literally go home.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Because what people don't know is you do get paid
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: spoiler alert. You get paid to go on the show,
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: and whether you complete it and stay the entire time,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: the whole duration of the show, you get paid the
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: same amount. So if I would have showed up and
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: quit day one, I still would have got my check,
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: cashed it and been litman sitting pretty. But because I'm
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: a crazy person, I was determined to stay the whole time.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Which I did.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: But Okay, the most uncomfortable probably would have been like
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: physically uncomfortable. They do a simulation where you are in
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: a gas chamber and a house. Yeah, and they also
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: like psychologically really mess with your head because before you
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: go in there, they tell you that this is toxic
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: gas and if you breathe it, you will die. So
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: you have to make sure that you put your breathing
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: equipment on properly. And then they give you a task
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: of memorizing a code. You go into the house. You
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: have to find the safe, unlock the safe, remove the computer,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: dive out of the house.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: So that's your mission.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Within seven seconds of entering the home, I have my
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: gas mask on, I'm like ready to go and the
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: DS and the staff comes up to me and says,
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: take it off, and I'm like, hums, take it off
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: right out.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what's that accent? Show? That's my British accents,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: the best that I got. Okay, take it off right out,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: and I'm like what.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: He rips it off my face after they told me
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: that if I breathe this toxic gas, I will die.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Mind you, he has on a mask. The other DS
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: staff has on a mask. My partner has on a mask.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Rips it off my face and he's like, complete the mission.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: So at that point, it's like, oh shit, hold your breath.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, you have to breathe. You have to breathe,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: you won't die.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Obviously they're exaggerating, but it is a simulation of like
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: a pepper spray mace.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: The house is filled with it.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: So your eyes start running, your noses running, You physically cannot.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: You feel like you are choking to death. I thought
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: that I was going to pee on myself, like I'm.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Literally you guys run the date back.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I'm like this, holding myself because I'm dying. So then
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: we get to the safe. I try to communicate with
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: my partner the code. We don't end up passing this mission,
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: by the way, because we we left the house before
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: we completed the code.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: We lost.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: And then I sat out on the grass and I
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: had like tears running from my eyes, not coming out
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: of my nose. My eyes are closed, and they're like
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: yelling at us.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Like you idiots, you suck, You're so stupid. You move
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: back and people, and I'm like, can I open my eyes?
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: And he's like, nobody ever told you that you had
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: to close them, you idiots. And I'm like, I open
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: them and I'm like, oh shit, you're right, Like I'm
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: not dead.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, probably the most physically uncomfortable. But every day though,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: was the worst day.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: So it was like that was the day four, I think,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: and then it just got progressively worse.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: How oh how many days were you there shooting?
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I feel like the total duration of shooting was ten
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: days if I'm not mistaken. Okay, So it wasn't like
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: a couple months, no girl, what and that kind of
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have survived.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: No months, I mean ten or like a month? How
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: long do they do survivor? I feel like you're there
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: for a while. Yeah. No, they didn't pay me enough
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: for that a month. Well, you're back with us.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: That was Was that like the most unique experience of
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: your career?
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: M Tony Braxton might be close second. Okay, let's talk
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: about Tonny Braxton. Yeah, that was probably the most insane
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: moment of my life. How did that come to be? Like?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: How did so you do the video? Yeah? You post
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: on social I dress up as her for Halloween.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, and you do the video yes, And then.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: She contacts you. How does that happen? Yeah?
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: She DMS me casually and was just like, hey, niece.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: She's the sweetest by the way. Yeah, she calls me niece.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: You guys casual.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: She's like, hey, niece, I would love for you to
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: come to the show I'm performing in LA And I'm like, oh, girl,
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: already know, like I'm excited to come. Me and my
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: mom are already looking at her tickets. It's like, no, no, no,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: I would love to host you guys come and enjoy
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: the show. And I'm already like over the moon excited
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: about this. Fast forward maybe like a month and a half,
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: We're getting closer to the show date and she sends
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: me another DM like Hey, I'm gonna have my team
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: reach out to you so we can get everything coordinated.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Send her my number. Cool.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: We're probably like two weeks out from the show and
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: I get a call from Tony Broxson's manager and they're like, hey,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: you know, Tony is just so thankful that you have
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: like supported this song and this record in this viral moment.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: She would love if you would come out on stage
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: with her.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: When she does the song. And I'm like okay, And.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: In my mind I'm thinking like, I don't know, you know,
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: like a cameo, like you just like come out and you're.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Like, woo right, Tony Braxon. No.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Fast forward to like three days before the show. They
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: called me again. They're like, hey, we want you to
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: be a part of the background dancers. We want you
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: to wear wardrobe, we want you to do the routine,
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: and we want you to do the dance on stage
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: with Tony.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like yeah.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: The inside, I'm freaking out though, because obviously I'm not
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: a trained dancer.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: This is no you've never done any kind of dance,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: but you were gymnasts. I danced on the praise team
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: at church growing up. I'm not the praise team. I
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: was like, I need you too, that was me.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but this is not we are not praising
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: the Lord.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So okay, shaking.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Ass rcles, legs is out, booty out. This is a
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: very different experience. Okay, So what did you go do rehearsals? Yeah?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: How about this? This is really gag you. Yeah.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: No, I got one run through with her dance team,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: maybe like an hour before showtime. One one run through.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: And by the way, it's not the same exactly as
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: the TikTok dance. So if you really watch the tape back,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I go the wrong direction because I'm doing.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: The TikTok because that's all what I know. I know
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you're shooting your pants. There's no way I would say
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: yes it is.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm telling you right now, I am not a
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: dance I am not a dancer. I am not a
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: choreographed dancer. I am not a praise dancer. I am
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: a sit on the back of the couch at the
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: club seat, dancing on to seat dancer that nobody's choreography
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: and not on a stage.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Well that's the thing.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I just feel like in my other life I was
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Beyonce and then when I came back, for some reason,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: I didn't get to be here again.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: You know. It was like I had to like pass
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: the torch, like, okay, Beyonce, you could be her. I
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: think the other person has to have moved on.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Oh shit, yeah, okay, so but you're very nervous obviously,
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: that's the thing.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Like I I can compartmentalize.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have and I learned that too
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: on Special Forces.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: By the way, Like something it did teach me about
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: myself is I'm very good at controlling my emotions when
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I need to, which I didn't think that I was
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: good at until I was put into these like life
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: or death seemingly situations. And I'm someone I'm a cry baby.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I'm super emotional, but I'm also like can be very
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: stoic and like locked the fuck in. So in this moment,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: I had to do the same thing. And my mom
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: she had the disposition that you did. She's sitting on
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: the couch. I'm in the dressing room because an hour
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: before showtime, her head of choreography is in the room
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: teaching me, like not even like an account, Like it's
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: like at least like a minute of choreography of like
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: you walk to this beat point here and then you're
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: gonna go to this point, she's gonna come out of
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: the stage. You're gonna surround her. Then you're gonna walk
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: into the points. See my mom is looking at me
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: like to the point where I had to look at
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: her be like hey, like you gotta locked. You're making
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: me nervous, Like I feel fine, this is okay. I'm
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: meant for this moment. This is my time to shine.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: That's what I did well. I mean, knowing all that
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: you really did do amazing. Thank you.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I mean I didn't think you did bad, and I
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: thought you had like three days of rehearsals.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so yeah, you really stepped up. I would
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I would have not.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: I would have had to decline Auntie's requests.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Like now I will be there supporting, I'll make a sign. Yeah,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: but you're not gonna have me spending a rounds on stage.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I'm a fall I.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Just feel like when God hands you the ball, you
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: got a ball sometimes, you know, yeah, or when Tony ball,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: you got a ball, Like I don't have time to
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: be shaking.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: In my boots.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: And I also think what I'm hoping, and I keep
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: saying this every opportunity that I can, this is just
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: the journey to my next real goal, which is Dancing
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: with the Stars.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I mean that is I think. No. I
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: didn't know where you were going.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: With that, but like I was like, oh, you're the
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: vision board. No, dance with the Stars would be amazing
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: for you. Have you talked to them?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: No, but waiting for the call?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dance with the Stars definitely have have you on?
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: She did say, though, I don't know if I whatever
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I'm going to say it. She said that she knew someone.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: They were at the show, there was a rep and
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: they were interested. So there's some feelers out there.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Good, I make the call.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you don't know anyway the call dancing, I don't.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Jason was on Dancing. My brother was on Dancing with
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: the Stars a long time ago. I don't want to
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: say decades because that would be crazy, but it might
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: be decades.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: He agrees to separation. He can get me in Jason. Yeah.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: He actually he lost.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: He made to the very end, really and he lost
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: to Christy Aamagucci, which I feel like is unfair.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: She is a dancing Yeah, she's a dance she's a
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: figure skater. I also really love her, so I wouldn't.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I could about like he did, he'd too, he was
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: very impressive. Dancing with the stars is very, very very hard.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Though I could do it.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I'm sure after what you've just told me, I have
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: no doubt and I wouldn't have doubted you anyway. But
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: it's what's hard about it? Or again, this was a
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: long time ago. Can you look up what your Jason
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: was on. I mean it was so long ago, but
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: you know the similar to obviously performing on the stage,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: there's march you hit and there's a live audience, so
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: like you you're you're having to like your toe like
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: stops in the corner of the dance of the ballroom
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: and then like it's back.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: It's really like a lot. It's a lot of work,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: in a lot of practice.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: You will not be learning the routine two minutes before
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: you're jumping on stage.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I love that for you.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I think that's a good that's a good goal. What
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: is right now? Like what's your grand vision for your
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: career and like what you passionately want to do.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: It's tough because I feel like the industry, the landscape
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: changes so often.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: You mentioned when we did.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: The entry, like I went to school for journalism and
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: went to Pepperdine. And back then the vision of the
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: blueprint was very clear. It was like traditional news, I
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: work my way up, I go to some small market,
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: and then I get my big job here in LA
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Like that was the goal in the vision. And then
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: and then somewhere along the way I just started to
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I kind of strayed from the goal. I started making
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: money online, turned into an influencer, and things really shifted
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: for me. But I think right now, at least, my
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: biggest passion and focus is just pouring as much as
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: I can into my platform, which is the pregame, my podcast.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: And although this wasn't the traditional thing that I thought
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: that I would be doing, it has become very fulfilling
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: for me. And even though it's not like traditional journalism
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: and hard hitting news like I thought that I was
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: gonna be doing, I do enjoy the element of being
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: able to just sit across from people that I am
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: interested in and trigued by and enjoy just having open conversations.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: So right now it's really just about pouring into that,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: which is a task in itself. It absolutely is how
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: your podcast is, like, not just people are Like I started.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: A podcast it's a lot.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we talked about this a lot on this podcast,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: but it's most podcasts don't take off because they require
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: so much consistency. Oh yeah, and it is easy to
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: start one. What it is not easy to do is
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: complete one and continue one. Yeah, and having your own
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: platform is actually the way to go. Did you want
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: to do? Because I know I never wanted to do news.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I had a professor in college who was like, you
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: would be a great investigative journalist, and I was like, yeah, duh,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: but that it's like awful, Like why do I want
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: to be snooping through somebody's garbage for like the truth?
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: You know, Like, if that's something that you're passionate about
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: and you have to be passionate about that, then absolutely
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: you do that.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But I do not ever want to be taken that seriously.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I have a very vivid memory of being in college
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: and we're about to graduate and we're all going around
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: the room saying what our dream job was and what
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: our vision is for the next five years.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And I stood up and I was like, I want
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: to do a little bit of everything.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Like I want to do a little bit of like
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: pop culture news coverage. I want to do a little
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: sports reporting, a little human human interest pieces here and there.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: My professor I don't even remember his name, but f
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: this guy, he looks at me in front of whole class.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: He's like, that's like not possible, Like what you're describing
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: doesn't exist.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You can't do everything.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: You need to pick a one, like like be more
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: realistic in front of everyone.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, thank you so much. I'm gonna sit
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: back down.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: But the reality is is like I mean, oh, he
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: was an asshole and also a white man.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: So surprised there.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: But I ended up doing all of the things in
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: some capacity. So I'm conventional.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: But I feel like in my podcast now even we
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: talk about all the things there's a little spurts, there's
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: a little health, there's a little there's a little bit
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: of everything that really just fuels me and feeds me.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm happy with that.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Do you does it bother you when people minimize you online?
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Not anymore?
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: When I feel you, I feel when it don't bother you.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: What was it about it that bothered you? Because obviously
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: you are a college grad. Pepperdine is a great university.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: You have a traditional journalism background and in a lot
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: of ways, you can be labeled as certain things that
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: do not include any of the.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You know, the pieces of what you are.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: I think, in time, with experience, you one I had
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: to learn about myself, and I had to I had
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: to convince myself that I was capable of doing all
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: of the things because sometimes I think you hear the
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: same thing online over and over, you start to believe
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: that narrative.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Right now you start to identify with it.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: It's like, well, maybe they're right, maybe I am just
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: an Instagram model when people used to like call it
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: that Instagram model. But now I know for a fact
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: that I'm not a monolith and I don't have to
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: live by whatever standard the bubble on Internet thinks of
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: me user eight two two.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Four five, Like, I don't have to live by that anymore.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Can do literally anything and everything that I desire in
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: my heart, and it doesn't have to be in one lane.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: I can be an Instagram model, and I can also
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: be a host, and I can also be a journalist,
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: and I can also be absolutely nothing if that's what
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I choose to do next. Like, I can do whatever
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: I want and it's not based off of opinion on
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: the internet.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: What would you would you describe yourself as a personality
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: as a host? I don't even know anymore, because I
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: do feel like sometimes in the business, when you do
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: unconventional things or you do live by your own path
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: or definition, it becomes I mean, I've dealt with this
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: my whole career, which I think is very weird because
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I've been in a network structure for so long in
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: my career.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Like it's like there the rest.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I just like it's just everything you see for the band,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: just move it over, like it's not hard to figure
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: out what I do, but it's it's very it's hard
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: hard for people if you aren't in a box for
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: people to define you. I just say I'm a personality
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: because it's like that way, it's just easier, like whatever
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: whatever I'm doing, I'm being a personality in that space.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: But people need definitions. They just their brains break. And
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: maybe you don't feel like you need to do to
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: define yourself in that way.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: I just saw this crazy stat online the other day,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: and I don't even know if this is accurate, but.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Twenty one percent of Americans are illiterate.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, girl, I mean you can you could have
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: said seventy eight percent. I would believe you people can't
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: read or write. Everyone is dumb as fuck and it's
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: not cute.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think that I have released that desire
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: to make sense to people because it's like you don't
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: even know how.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: To read, you know what I mean.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: It's like, I am no, it relinquished that need to
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I don't even make sense to any of you idiots.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: You can't even process information properly. I don't care. Call
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: me Barney, like, I don't whatever do you? I mean,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: we talked about this on your on your podcast.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Because the internet is a is a vicious place and
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: it does it does, it's what it does.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: It can be very helpful, it can be very lucrative.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: It can also be very.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Terrible and very mean, and it can be violent and
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: actually dangerous. What is your relationship with like the comment section,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: with media with stories written about you. You know you've
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: gone through phases where whole groups have had something to
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: say about you before, So what's your relationship with it now?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Because I know when we talked about it on the podcast,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I mean for me, it's kind of something like they
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: can't fucking read, so I you know, but also to me,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I've I'm just like a capricorn in that way, Like
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, do you sign checks? Because if you don't
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: continue the engagement, because that generates dollars, you are paying
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: you keeping the lights on, honey, honey, And more than that,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: maybe we right the lights the car.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, what is your relationship?
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: With that, I will say the comment section, but it's
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: bigger than that comment section, super limited. Like there was
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: a time where I was definitely super invested and I
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: would read them and I would go back at people and.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: It would really ruffle my feathers. Now I post and go.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: It's rare that I check a comment section just because
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: I like to protect my peace and I don't want
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: to ruin my own day. And I also have a
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: crazy mouth. And nowadays it's like if I write something
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: insaying back to you and your DMS to your mother,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I don't want that to be screenshot and posted.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I've had enough.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: I've gone through enough on the internet with my poor
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: choice of words.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: We don't have to rehash that again, so I just
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: stay off of it. Are you dating right? No?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no no no, I am dating unsuccessfully.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: What is what is dating like for you?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Because I, well, okay, why is.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: It horrible the pool? The dating pool?
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: Well, because you're I mean, you already has peeks all
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: just so you know, every pool this is the this
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: is a community. We love the Why it's bad out here?
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Is it? Because what's like?
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: But specifically why because I think all of us have
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: kind of like similar experiences. But I M like, like, like,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: you're a gorgeous woman.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: You're college educated, you are talented, you're smart, you're funny,
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: you are in incredible shape. You take care of yourself,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: you pay your bills like you are somebody.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: This is my right, by the way, what is what is?
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: And you want to I don't know. I'm asking do
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: you want to get married? Do you want to have kids?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I don't want to have kids, and I don't I've
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: been I'm divorced, so I don't really care about getting
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: married again.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm kind of in like a weird.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Sort of spinster space when it comes to dating, Like
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: you have to be a very specific person to date
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: me because you have to not care about wanting kids.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: And then also the wedding thing is like, you know,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: if it happens, it happens. But for women who do
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: want that, obviously you have a different direction that you
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: have when you're dating, which as you should, because those
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: are things that you want.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I do want to get married.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I would love to have children, But now at thirty
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: four and experiencing so much of life and also just
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: dating within the last couple of years, the idea of
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: children starts to become a distant goal because it's really
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: like the partnership that's required to want to make me
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: bring life into this world, Like the world is already
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: so messed up as it is. I need a partner
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: that is going to make me feel like the bond
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: in connection that we have is one thing, but also
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: like you make me feel so safe in this life
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: that I want to bring another life into it with you.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I can't even get a.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Good dinner in a movie date, so it's like we're
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: really far from that, you know what I mean, We're
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: quite far from that goal.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Do I want to be married? Absolutely. I love partnership,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: I love love, I love commitment. Are you a romantic girly?
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: I'm such a romantic girly. That's why dating right now
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: is so hard. People lack intention, People are not creative,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: and romance is quite literally dead. You get sent flowers
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: when they've done something wrong. It's not just because ever.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: What are the qualities like that you look for in
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: a man? Like, what's the number one quality that you
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: want in a man?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Gosh? Right now?
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so I just said this on the podcast
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: the other day. Emotional intelligence is very important me. Some
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: element of safety, like I need to feel safe in
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: our relationship, something that I've learned about myself through therapy
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: that's really important to me. What else I think someone
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: The issue that I'm encountering often right now is just
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: men are not intentional enough, and they don't reciproc the
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: energy that I give. I'm very intentional, I'm very considerate.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I'll go above and beyond for someone that I'm literally
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: just dating. For example, I block out my work schedule
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: for one week. You live out of state. Okay, well,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: here's the days that I'm available. Let's try to make
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: it work for your schedule. I'll go above and beyond
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: to come and see you. Men, on the other hand,
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: it's always like come on, come come over here, pull up,
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: pull up, pull up, And in the words of philosopher
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Lado do I look like a pull up bitch to you.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Pull up, because I've never pulled up on you. This
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: is are pulling up and that's why. And we need
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: to talk about that. Can we unpack that?
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Because who the fuck what are y'all doing out here?
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: Like these met are just having their way. We're letting
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: them get away with the murder. Please put your foot down,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: start telling them.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: No, someone seriously, we have to Yeah, we need to.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Call a meeting. We need to call a meeting. We
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: need to trke a great time out.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: Stop seriously, stop the bare minimum. We have got to
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: stop blowing it.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: You have to raise the bare minimum. And that that
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I you agree. I think, well we've got to stop
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: at thirty four. And I'm not much older than you,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: but I am thirty nine. You have you have a
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: whole you have your whole thirties ahead of you, and
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: they're a beautiful time and you'll you'll do great. So
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: don't don't worry whatever whatever is happening, whatever pee in
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: the pool motherfuckers you're dealing with right now, like there are.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Yess, here's what I'm saying.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: I never like, don't ever mistake me as being somebody
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: who says nice things about men because it's not true.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I will deny it till the end of time.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: But I do think that there are, like in the haystack,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: there are some men who are very intentional and who
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: do want certain things. But I do think to your point,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: not accepting the bare minimum is very important because it's
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: it's not so much about like teaching men. It's like
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: your life and what you do should matter as much
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: to them as like it should be an equal playing field.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Something that gets thrown around around a lot.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: In Los Angeles, it's like, Oh, it's such a place
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: of like transactional relationships. All relationships are transactional. What the
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: fuck is a non transactional relationship? So I just like
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: do everything for you and you don't do anything for me.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: What the fuck is that about? Yeah, of course, it's
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: a transactional relationship. It's a business transaction.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: It's a friendship transaction, it's a family transaction, it's a
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: financial transaction, it's a fucking volunteer transaction, it's a relationship transaction.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: There's a give and take in every one of these situations,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: and I think there's for one part of it, like
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: there is a real like weird time in the.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Like gender war space.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Where it's like this is expected and this is traditional thing,
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: and this and that, and it's just yeah, there's pee
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: in the pool.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I said that. There's a guy that I just
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: recently cut off. Hope real listening. I cut him off
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: because yeah.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: He pulled that same line of pull up, pull up
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: bummy after I had gone button for me on to
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: see this person. I'd also like there was a death
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: in the family, and I was like overly supportive. I'm
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: going to church and I'm saying, do you need to
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: think you need to pray for you? Like I'm doing
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: all of these things. I need a little bit of transaction.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: This needs to become transactional reciprocity. I give you all
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: of this. What am I getting back? You talking about
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: some pull up? No, and don't call me anymore? Actually,
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: like that's how that's how cut throat.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: At the cup. You should be.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Cutthroat though, Yeah, I agree, but more women need to
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: be because now I look like the bitch, you know
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: what I mean, Like, oh my god, she's so pretentious.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: She's such a bitch. I did nothing wrong and look
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: how she reacted. But if more women would act like this,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: this would become the norm.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Well, you don't want a man who thinks it's your
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: a bitch for that. So in a way, in a way,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: they're pruning themselves. That's one way to look at it.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: And the way there's no more left. I have nobody
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: on the roster. It's cleared, benches are cleared.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: There's nobody in the lineup anymore. I'm that single. That's
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: it's okay, though. Are you enjoying being single? Yeah? I
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: love it here so much.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: No, there are times where it's frustrating, and then there's
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: signs where it's really great. It just you know, they
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: can pass through though, Like you can have a time
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: where you're single and you're enjoying yourself and enjoying your
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: friends and your family and like living in your own space,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: and then there's a time where it's like, okay, enough
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: of this.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done that for some time now. I would
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: love some companionship. But I also am not in a
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: space where I'm not trying to have like scarcity mindset
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: where I'm willing to entertain things that are not for me.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm not going to do that. I'm not that lonely,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: but I would like a partner. No, you should never
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: accept something gets less for you.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: And I think that's a big part of to your point,
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: like us having like a little time out, like let's
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: get together and discuss this is we are living in
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: like really lonely times and people are very separated, and
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: even though we have more ways to communicate than ever
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: and more ways to connect than ever, we are more
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: isolated than ever, and we see things that are not
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: real all the time.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Fact, most of the Internet.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Is not real, which is like particularly on social media,
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: you know, I was like edited or whatever, like forget
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: all that.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Most of stuff on our feet is not it's like bots.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's hard for people to really feel connection,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: and so they will settle for less than they deserve
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: or less.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Than they want.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: And I think even like across the board, like in
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: life in general, we're all kind of settling for less
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: because it's like whatever you can get right now, we're
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: all kind of scavenging for things.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I refuse that, Like you said, I mean you should
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: you should.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: What's what's something that you've like implemented in your life
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: that has given you, like outside of obviously cutting off
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: all the noise, but something has given you some peace
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: right now, hmmm.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I think for me.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Most recently, I told you I just went on vacation,
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: on a girls trip with my friends, but a girls
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: trip that almost didn't happen. It was one of those
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: situations where it's like, you know, something that's just never
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: to make it out of the group cht because trying
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: to coordinate with everyone's schedules, and we don't want to
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: pay this much for the house, and you know, all
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: those things. It got to the point where I was
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: just like, I'm booking my flight. I will be in
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Turks and Kkos. I don't know where all.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Of you guys will be, but I will be there,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: and me just.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: Making that decision to put me and my desires first
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: made everybody else hop on board. We ended up figuring
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: it all out, had an amazing trip. But I find
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: myself doing that in a lot of ways, not just
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: with like vacation, but it's if I'm home and I
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: want to go out to eat and I don't have
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: anyone to eat with, I will take myself out to dinner.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: I will get dressed up, I'll put on a cute
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: little face, and I will go and enjoy my time
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: alone and that it's taken me a long time to
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: get there. But I'm actually really proud of myself because
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I find a lot of peace.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: In those moments and a lot of joy. It feels
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: very self fulfilling, and I don't have to rely on
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: the presence of a friend or a family member or
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: a man to make me feel like my presence alone
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: is enough. I think that's really important.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: You may feel a little isolated in those spaces, but
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I have gone through, you know, similar chapters to what
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: you're talking about, and I find my solitude and those
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: times really important. And it helps with my stillness a
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: lot as well, because we're always so activated and so stimulated,
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: and sometimes it is just like going to a class
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: by yourself. Sometimes it is just going for a walk
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: by yourself. Going to a dinner I love. I call it,
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: call it my rich auntie dinner.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I love. Listen, you could catch me at an.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Expensive restaurant, at a bar eating my oysters by myself.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I will get by myself one of everything. By the way,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: also way too much food. I've tweeted this, I'm tweeted.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I put it on three. It's the other day.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: People that are in the service industry, because what I
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: will do is I will go and I will sip
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: by myself, and I will order one of whatever I
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: want off of this menu. And the server has happened
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: to me numerous times. The server will look at me
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: and be like, you know this TikTok? Perhaps a salad
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: for the lady's.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Perhaps I have a steak, they do gravy, I want
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: the record.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: I'm like ordering all of these things and they're like,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: are you sure you want all of this?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: This is a lot of food. Is it just for you?
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, it is like why would you
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: write on my parade? Like that kind of makes me
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: feel a little sol Also.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: That we're just running the bill up so it's more
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: So you should You're supposed to be upselling, and I'm like,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I have a world for you.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Stop doing that to people that are alone dining by themselves.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: This is all for me. Yeah, you get a table
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: or do you sit at the bar?
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I get a table. Okay, I need to stretch out. Yeah, yeah,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: you're taller than me. I I'm just a short person.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: My feet tangle off.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: The Yeah, I want to booth so that I could
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: like lean back pants.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I see, I sit at the bar, so like
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: you know't you don't run into that too much at
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: the bar because they all they kind of already know
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: why you're there.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Would you like a shot on the house and start
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: with a martini? It is though, it's it's important to
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: be able to like not let the.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: Let whatever is like happening in the situation or whatever,
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: like companionship, whether it's friendship or family or man to
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: keep you from living life. And I think that's like
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: such a important part of just being a single person,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: like not even not having a man, Like you can
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: be in a relationship and still be incredibly lonely.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: If you.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Live your life with purpose, then all of those other things.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Really start to affect you less.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: And that's that comes with like maturity and experience also
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: because yeah, like you feel like you're being judged, but
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: in reality, like what is your life supposed to stop
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: just because it's not in the exact space that you
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: want it to be in right now?
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Right? You gotta keep living?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like one day I will look up,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: yeah and there will be a man sitting here, yeah, Like.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's gonna be breathing all loud.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I'm gonna be irritated, Like I remember
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: the days so loud.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: There's such loud breathers.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: What is that sex? Why do you guys breathe so loud?
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Do you have bigger lungs than us or something?
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Mouth breathers? The chewing is is is what's crazy? The existence?
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: It's just the smell. They do so much.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Do you worry at all that like when that time
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: comes that you'll well, I guess you mentioned it earlier,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: but you obviously you won't be someone else's ex. But
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: like in working towards like your independence and your identity,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: which is so much a part of like womanhood, that
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: you will lose that if you are in a relationship again.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Would you want to be in another public relationship public? No?
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: To your point, I've done it, got.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: The T shirt.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: I have been trying to rip the T shirt off. Yeah,
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: for quite some time. This T shirt is glued onto
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: me or something. They tatted the T shirt on the back.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Joy.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: I would never do it again, though, and that's only
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: because I think that over time I have learned that
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: you have to protect the things that mean most to you.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: I don't even post my family on my social media
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: as much as I used to. Yeah, in the similar
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: regard of I just I want to protect them, and
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: I would imagine that if I am in another relationship.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna want to just the same. You can't. You
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: put your relationship out there, people become entitled to every.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Aspect of it. If it doesn't work out, they feel
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: entitled to the reason why I didn't. They feel entitled
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: to continue to talk about it even though it's over.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: I would like to just skip all of that and
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: just be happy privately.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: No, I agree the entitlement that just being a public
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: figure has. And it sounds like wow, wow, you know whatever,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: but it is the truth. Like fame comes with the cost.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Everything comes with a cost. There's no way around it.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: And it's part of what's missing in the conversation around
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: media and influencing and journalism and like, at the end
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: of the day, this is all the entertainment industry, and
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: it comes with a cost when you invite people into
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: your space, which is what being a public figure is,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: whether it's your relationship, whether it's your opinion. Like you
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: have your own platform now, so I'm sure you've experienced
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: aside from anything that has to do with your personal life.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Your personal opinions invite a certain level of reaction, and
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: that's what it is. Like you want to share and
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: you want people to pay attention, but you also have
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: to be able to be willing to accept whatever comes
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: with that, and that is that's a journey all in itself,
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: is learning to adjust to that and being at peace
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: with that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a tough pill to swallow. And the entitlements of
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: people having ownership.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Over you, well, this whole phenomenon of parasocial relationships. And
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: it's like we'd throw that around like it's no big deal,
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: but it's actually really terrifying if you think about it.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: Like people on the internet quite literally feel like they
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: know you and they know everything about you and all
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: of your relationships, friends, family life experiences because you're a
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: public figure.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Like that's just that's weird.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: That's really weird that we live in a time where
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: people really actually think that I got it DM today
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: coming in here. I can't even share the specifics of it,
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: but it was like people pay so much attention to
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: things that you wouldn't even think that they noticed, and
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: stuff like that scares me because I think about I
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: haven't lived outside of my apartment. I think it's been
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: the same apartment now for like five years. I've been
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: wanting to move into a home of my own, and
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: I just cannot pull the trigger because the thought of
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: people being able to access me is terrifying.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, especially as a woman who people feel so
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: adamantly about you and who you are and.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: What you represent.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: Has there been a time when you've really actually been
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: very outside of obviously like we're you know, I've had
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: similar experiences where people are crazy, But has there been
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: a time where you've really been living in fear.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: It was probably like two years ago, and it wasn't
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: even so much that there was like one particular person,
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: but it was just the media in general. Like I
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: was getting photographed in front of my apartment building and
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: they were running the photos and you're not not blurning
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: the background. You can visibly see that I'm walking in
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: and out of my apartment. And granted there is a
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: front desk, we do have SI security, but I literally
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: found myself walking to my car in my garage like
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: looking over my shoulder. I had to start getting maced
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: because I felt like when you're dealing with literally crazy
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: people on the internet. You don't know the links that
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: they'll go to, You just don't know. And especially if
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: there's a certain narrative that's being pushed, you know, people
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: are crazy enough to really just believe whatever they are fed.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: You know, like critical thinking skills are at an all
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: time low, and so you start to feel like, yeah,
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: I have a whole army of enemies that I don't
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: even know that I really don't deserve, in my opinion.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: But yeah, there was a time where I definitely was
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: like people know where I live, Like people know where
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: I live, and they know it so much that they're
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: showing up at my apartment to take photos of me,
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: like going to the airport, or like the paparazzi are
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: showing up at the airport, and I'm I'm not a
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: celebrity by any stretch of the imagination in my opinion,
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: public figure, sure, but that experience for me was very,
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: very darrning. Like I think my mental health is probably
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: at the absolute lowest, and my therapist at the time
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: was highly concerned for me because yea, I became I'm
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: a naturally kind of anxious person, but it was so
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: heightened at that time in my life. I just felt like, yeah,
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: I was I had reached a new level of public
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: figure that I never thought that I was gonna have
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: to experience for sure.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And the negative side of that, like not always
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: being in the public eye does it equate to money
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: and access? And that's sort of I think the shift
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: that has happened is just because you're in the public
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: eye does not mean you're getting the benefits. Like there
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: was a certain time when being famous meant also, Okay,
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: you're gonna get into these exclusive spaces, and you're gonna
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: get these exclusive meetings, and you're gonna get these major
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: brand deals.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: And now you can just be famous and be hated. Yeah,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: and if you.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Could talk like as a whole and you have a
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: platform obviously, but in a way to like the craziest
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: of crazy people, what is it that you would say
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: to that person's like, because for me, I I struggle
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: with Obviously everyone is you know, illiterate and incompetent in
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: all of those things as well, But people just believe
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: the first thing that they see, yeah, big block letters
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: and in big block letters, and if you put breaking
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: news under it, it is now a fact and it's
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: the law, or if you earn a record in front
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: of a green screen on TikTok with a mini mic
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: in your hand, that's even more law.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Like those are the real critical thinkers of the world.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: But you know, in a way, I just think, like,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: have you ever had a sat across from someone who's
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: had a completely different opinion than you? And you guys
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: have the conversation and at the end of it, you
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: sort of understand each other.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Now, you may not have.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Moves off of your opinion entirely, but you feel a
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: different level of I don't want to say compassion, but
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: at the very least understanding for that person.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And I believe that that.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Was truly lost in the world and it's part of
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: why we're also divided on everything, whether it's politics or religion,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: or gender or dating or opinions about celebrities and like
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: all those things. And I don't know, I guess I'm
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: asking you this question because I hadn't really thought of it. Like,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: if I had my arch internet enemy in front of me,
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: other than calling them a fucking idiot, what I would
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: say to them to try and like draw some understanding
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: out of them.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Very woooh, this is gonna make me mush.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: I don't know why I would tell them that I
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: love them like I love you, just like as a
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: human being, I don't have to know much about you.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: I don't have to know I don't have to know
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: your life story. I don't have to know what you've
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: been through. I don't care what religion you practice. Love you, though,
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: like as a human being, I can have love for you,
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: and I can respect you and your opinions and your
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: perspectives and your life choices.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Love for you.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: Because I really feel like people that live a life
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: of hate, that constantly spew hate, you have to be
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: battling something so internal and so deep within you. It
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: has nothing to do with me. It's a projection of
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: what you're going through. It's a reflection of your own insecurities.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: It's a reflection of your own demons that you're battling,
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: and it's really not my burden to bear. Like I,
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I would spend my days trying to convince people otherwise
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: that I'm deserving of their respect, that I have a career,
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: that I've done the work that I have. You know,
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: I would spend my life trying to convince them that
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: I'm worthy of their.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Support or appreciation or adoration.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: But I can't fucking do that, like I can't live
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: my life for the internet or the opinions.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: With blogs or the media, like I can only live
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: it for me.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: But if I was sitting across from a person that
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: hated me, I would just saw that and see how
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: they freaking melt because I just feel like when you
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: when you're faced with that energy, it's gonna disarm you.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. You're so much further
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: along you're healing journey than me.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Girl.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I am not there yet.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I would say, and I've never
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: thought about it until I ask you this question.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: But genually it's not on the would you cuss them out?
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think I would cuss them out. I think
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I would try to make them laugh, Yeah, humanize them.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not a I'm not a particularly Yeah, I'm not.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: I I feel you in that like I feel your
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: energy and in in your.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Emotion and compassion there.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: I think you're a much more compassionate person than you
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: give yourself credit for.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Because I'm deeply compassionate. I just don't let people know that.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Scorpio of me because but that's like my I'm a
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: softy by nature.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I am. I am not.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: I'm a softy in the one like in this center,
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: core of the depths of everything.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Uh, the center, yeah, the the what is it?
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Let's let's say, how many licks does it take to
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: get to the center of Yeah, like all the licks,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: lots of licks.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: It's gonna take you.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: A while, you know, like you you even saying that,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: and it's very genuine of you, Like I do not.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I am not there yet. I'm not there yet.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: And it's not necessarily because anything you said is incorrect.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: People who are living that way are struggling, They're going
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: through really terrible things.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: I make this stroke all the time.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: But like, imagine your man is on the internet talking
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: about another woman's body.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: It is unimaginable to me, Like I could.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: Go to jail if I found out that my man
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: was in the bathroom taking a shit, Like can you
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: believe this bitch?
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: This belly? I beg stretch bags just so grown. Yeah,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: it's really sad.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: I would I honestly think I could go to jail,
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: Like I could, I would probably murder him because I
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: don't know, Like it makes my skin, called the thoughts
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: that you would get you would talk to someone like that,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: and yet people do it every day.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: And it's not just about people's bodies.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: It's about people's personal lives, about people's children's, about people's everything.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: And it's like, yeah, you have to be very in
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: a real way.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: Because I've been angry as fuck.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: I've been violently angry, and I still have not ever
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: reached to that point, and I'm grateful for that, but
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: I do think it's really important that you don't lose
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: that in yourself, because it is.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: It's very very I can tell you.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I've ever been that way, but
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: it's very hard to get back if you do, and
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: this industry and these spaces can really hammer it out
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: of you. And I think that's why you see a
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: lot of people change when they get into this business.
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, But that's a prayer that I pray often though, like, God,
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: please don't allow my heart to harden, Like I want
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: to remain the softest version of myself, even though life
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: hasn't always been so good to me. People haven't been
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: the best to me, relationships haven't been the best to me.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: But I so want to always have the same appreciation
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: for just the idea of love and connection and happiness
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: and trying to see the best in people because I
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: do know myself and if it's not this, yeah, yeah,
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: if it is not this kumbayall, I'm a fuck everything
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: up and I'm gonna ruin everybody day, every single day.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: You know, Like that's how dark it gives for me.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: You get that that point, like when I pray. We've
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: seen people get to that point.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and people probably think I'm a little crazy too,
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: but this is just the typically iceberg.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: That's what I'll be saying. It's like, stop fucking with me,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: because I'm trying to meet y'all. Right here, I'm trying
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: to give y' all this, this is what That's what
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to give.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: But I do have a limit as well, and I
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: know that.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: That side of me. You know, she's just trying to
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: praise dance y'all. Also like literally, this is all that
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: I want to give in this life time. What's this next?
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: What's the rest of the year hold for you? Like,
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: what are you working on?
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: Hopefully just vacations? Joy girl, can we manifest that brand trips?
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Same lots of those, but.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: Honestly, the podcast, the pregam is like my number one.
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: That's my my pride and joy, my little baby right now,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: trying to get as many get you want to come
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: back on.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I would love to come back on. Yeah. Yeah, We're
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: just constantly trying to push the conversation forward. Yeah, I
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: would love you to come on again. But also Tribe Therapy.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: I'm cross my fingers. By this summer, I'll have my
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: first apparel line drop with my fitness brand. It's been
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: lighting two years in the making.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like you've I've seen complain about it
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: on the internet before.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's hard an apparel brand.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: It's not easy.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: It's the most ardest thing I've ever done in my
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: entire life. I actually intend to have like a you
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: know people have like weddings and baby showers. I'm going
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: to have a push party for my apparel line, because
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: that is how exhausting this experience has been, especially because
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: I'm doing if you're familiar with like design and stuff,
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: I'm doing cut and sew instead of just doing blanks,
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: meaning like the full blown design element from scratch. And
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: I'm not a designer. I haven't gone to design school
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: day in my life. Yeah, so it's been quite the challenge,
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: but we're doing it.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of you.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: That's a really difficult Like I've talked people out of it.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe would have done that to me.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Don't don't do that, Like just do a collab and
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: because it's not it's it's so hard and you.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Should have a party. Like putting together a business is
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: a hard thing to do. Girl, It's difficult.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: And I'm not an entrepreneur, Like this is not in
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: my bones, you know what I mean. Like I'm someone
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: who needs structure and I thrive with the boss, So
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: me having to be the boss, it's like, I fucking
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: hate it here. We are opposites in that sense. Really, Actually,
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: I don't mind. I don't mind being within structure. I
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: just have to respect the structure.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: If I don't, if I know that you're a fucking idiot,
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: then I'm just immediately gonna rebel.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Like it's it's I'm like.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: That in any kind of any kind of structure, like parents,
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: the bosses, work relationships, Like I just can't.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: I have to respect you. And I know that's wrong.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know that's wrong. I think that.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: That's pretty that great. You want to be able to
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: respect the person that's leading you. I think that's what
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: your reason.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: I always pick your leader, Like sometimes the leaders picked
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: for you and they're fucking idiots, and then you need
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: a check and then there's still morons.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: But I would want to remove myself from that environment.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean generally that's usually the choice, but sometimes
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: it does happen.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but in my situation, I'm the leader. You're the leader.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: Do you like being a leader? No? That's very self
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: aware of you. I don't. I do not like it.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: I have to force myself to.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's add but I'm being detail
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: oriented and leading other people is not an issue so
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: much of leading other people. It's more so of like
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: dictating what you have to do and I have to
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: do and balancing all of those things, like having so
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: many brands and businesses is like, yeah, entrepreneurship is is
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: not It becomes exhausting after a while.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what does Kayla Nicole look like in ten years?
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: On her own terms? Years? I don't know what's gonna
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: happen in six months? Joy ten years? Let's okay? You
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: know what ten is? Crazy? Crazy?
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna be forty four and ten years as that
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: number is really big. Forty four is a big woman.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: It's a big woman, not physically, not physically, I don't
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: I don't think you have to worry about that.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: You have a fitness told you, yeah's nobody's believing that
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: ten years. Let's you know, let's cut the three. One
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: of the most one of the biggest, best pieces of advice,
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: the most important piece of advice I ever got, was
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: a conversation where he asked me what I wanted for
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: myself in the next three years.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: And it was at the beginning of my.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: Career and I was going through all kinds of crazy shit,
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: and I said I wanted to be full time on
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: air on a television show in the next or radio
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: show in the next three years, And within a year
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: I was full time on a radio show. And it
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: was about like directing my energy. Is the lesson that
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: he was trying to teach me and actually taught me perfectly.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: So ten years is a lot, that's very that's a
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: big chunk to chew. The next three years actually just
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: to the end of this year. Like for me, at
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: the end of this year, I want to have regulated
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: my raging anxiety.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: Period of functional play period. And I want to be healthy.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: I want to like feel very good in my ever
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: changing older thirties body, and I definitely want to be
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: like fully fully set up for like the next chapter
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: of forty.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: From a personal standpoint too, I made this decision the
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: other day that I want to freeze my eggs. My
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: birtha is November, so I was thinking for my thirty
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: fifth birthday, I would like to freeze my eggs, and
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: I think that that would alleviate a lot of the
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: anxiety and concern that I have about not having a partner, yeah,
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: being married, not having kids yet.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: So that's at the top of the list.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: And then career wise, I really feel like I'm at
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: this transitional place in my life where you asked me earlier,
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: like what would my title, my job title be right now,
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: and it's like, I really don't even know what it is.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: And that's problematic because to.
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: Your point, if you don't know what it is that
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: you're doing, how do you have a goal of what
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: you want to be doing.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: And so I hope that by the end of the
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: year I have.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: A clearer vision of what exactly it is that I
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: want to do in this industry because.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Right now I'm doing things that make me happy.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm on my podcast and I'm pushing that
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: forward and that's fulfilling, But like, what does that look
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: like, like you said, in three years, is it a deal
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: with Netflix?
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: Is it with.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: A co host to help me carry the weight? You
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: know what I mean, figuring out what the podcast looks like.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: And then two, really trying to be more intentional with
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: my brand Tripe Therapy. People get on me now because
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: they're like, you're not You're inconsistent on the page you
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: haven't posted in months. Really just being consistent and pushing
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: that forward. I think ownership in this business is something
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: that we overlook and so the fact that I have
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: my own business is really important to me. And so
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: I really want to start being more intentional with that
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: platform in that space and really looking at it like
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: an actual business and not just like you know, an
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: Instagram handle.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think those are two really great goals.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: As far as the egg freezing goes, I you know,
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: I can't encourage that enough. I think I've had I've
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: never done it because I don't want kids. So it's
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: like what's the point. And it's not an easy process
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: to go through, but I've had so many friends that
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: have done it and it just completely changes just their options,
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: you know, and just the anxiety level and you know,
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: it just it really shifts your perspective on planning your
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: family in a in a real way. So I would
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: definitely encourage you to do that. And then as far
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: as like the business goes one hundred percent, like I think,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: we're all kind of guy, it's crazy.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: I'm just I'm having this conversation so much.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: But everybody's in this really transitional phase right now because
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: the business has just been like flipped on its head
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: and then flip it up and reverse it like Missy
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Elliot remix, and everyone's like, what where are we supposed
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: to go? What are we supposed to do with what
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: we've built in this space? It doesn't really exist anymore,
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: and so we all have to kind of find things
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: where we have to bring us purpose but are also
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: the best use of our skills and goals.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: So I love that. I love those I love those
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: goals for you. Thanks for asking that them. You need
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: to figure it out more.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: Vacation, you know, do little meditation and too loom or something.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, would you do ayahuasca? I'll do anything once I
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: really want about it. I just are you scared that
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: if you go there, you won't be able to come back.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: I will not be the same person.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: I already know that digging up these demons is not
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: It's probably not a good idea.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing about aquatsca, though, I need a.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Spotter, like I have a guide, No, no, no, no, I
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: need a person I know to watch me.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: And I don't know what these people are up to.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: I can't just be on this like out outer space
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: zen connecting with the universe journey and my body is
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: just there like no one's watching me, like wet.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: I gotta have a sober spotter that I.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Bring, Okay, I volunteer, okay, and then we swap and
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: then yeah, the next day, you do it and I
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: watch you. Yes, that's the only way I would feel
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: comfortable doing that. And then also, like my my journey
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: taker cannot be white.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Also that, but I also don't want to do with
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: a bunch of white people either. I don't want to
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: do with white people.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: But actually not with all due respect, no respect respect,
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I do not want to do it and no white
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: men and my my shaman or whatever, my pre hes
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: to not be indigenous per verb.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Okay. Also that, yeah, it's actually indigenous.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: So I do a lot of research before I get
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: to this point, but I am not. I don't want
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: any Spencer Pratt Crystal Bros. Running me through the Ayahuasca
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: journey because it's gonna be bad anyway. And whatever extra
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: sprinkles you guys are putting on my ancestral journey is
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: not gonna be pleasant. I don't want any tmu shits
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: when I go see Wakanda.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, I don't want that ship. No, thank you.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: I think it's crazy, like respectfully, what part like I
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: also no, no, no, like people just do that with
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: with with anybody anyway, can't do an Iahwasca like, guys,
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: I want everyone to have their own thing, you know.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: But like, why are you taking people to the other side?
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: You want to check people's credentials before you get to
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: the other side.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna go, you know what, I'll go. I'll
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: do the Viking one. Where's the Viking one? Where's the
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: Viking version of Ayahwaska. Let's go to the mountains in Norway. Yeah,
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: and we'll do the we'll do the whole pagan ritual.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: That's where you guys are permitted to do the any
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: kind of spiritual Well, I.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: Want to with you.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: I've heard a lot about I'm encouraged frequently to do
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: this because I've tried a lot Well, yeah, because I've
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: tried a lot of I've been in therapy for many years,
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: many many, many many years, and I've tried a lot
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: of the traditional Western So yeah, for my particular version
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: of mental illness, and it's it's it is manageable. I'm
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: not in prison. Yeah, so I've got it. I've got
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: it managed. But I'd like to I think, once I
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: get to the other side of this current healing journey,
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: I would like to to your point about safety, which
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: safety is like the biggest thing for me in my
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: life right now, like within friendships, within family, within relationships,
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: like business. Everything has to feel safe. Anything it feels
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: unsafe for me is a huge trigger. And it just
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: it's like it feels like my skin is literally on fire.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: So I just can't have it around me. So when
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: I get past that, I would like to break open
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: the you know, the upside down and release the Kraken
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: that lives with it.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: But I'm not there yet.
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not ready for I what have you tried the
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: I don't even know what what druggon is that they
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: give you, They give you the drug.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: Then they were doing it on Mormon Wives. Have you
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: seen that show? I haven't seen Mormon Wives. Know what
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: it is, but they give you it's a really really
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: hard narcotic.
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: But they do it ketamine. Oh yeah, yeah, ketamine therapy.
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: So ketamine therapy is a real thing. Yes, didn't Nina?
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: I feel like Nina talked about this Parker. Uh did
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: she do ket of mean therapy? Let me not put
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: that on her, but I think that she did. I
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: swear she mentioned it ketamine. If she didn't do it,
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: it's fine, we can't cut it. But like I kedeman therapy.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: So I did an interview on my show Like a
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: Girl season two with an MMA fighter who uh suffered
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: from extreme suicidal thoughts and she did ketamine therapy and
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: it really helped her. So yeah, I mean, I don't
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: To be clear, I am not a doctor. I don't
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: know anything about ketamine therapy. I don't know if you
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: should do it or you shouldn't do it. I am
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: simply sharing a story from someone that I interviewed that
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: said that it helped her.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: That's it. Okay, yes, thank you. Did you narrate it? Did?
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: I gave them thank you? Because fuck yeah, like Nina
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: did it right? He didn't. Yeah, that's crazy.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm head of Nina and see what
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: she knows about it. Thank you so much for coming
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: down and hanging out.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: This was so fun.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you for being vulnerable and emotional. My arms were short.
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: This is very Drew Berry more you, guys. She's showing
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: you that I know this is.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: This is a big deal for me. Actually, I feel
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: like you cried, so I should do physical time.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't cry teared up. Okay, don't get that's true.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: That's because I will really whoop that there were there
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: were no these are thug tears, playboy.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: I know we don't have tissues. Saying that's very true.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Very more of me is absolutely haracy by Ian old hands. Okay,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: that's the Coal Tribe therapy.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: Wait, so you don't have a launch date right, No, no, no, okay,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: Joggers in Fall Fall Dogs, and of course check out
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: her show, Welcome to the Pregame, check out my episode
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: on Welcome to the Pregame, and then we'll do another
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: one girl, Thank you so much for coming down
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.