Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper

Transcript

Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

0:00
Speaker 1: Hi, Katherine, Hello, Chelsea together, Oh my god, it's Los Angeles.
0:05
Speaker 1: It's raining, and the whole everything is sliding down the hill.
0:09
Speaker 1: I love the fucking rain, and I know it's not safe. Yeah,
0:12
Speaker 1: but I fucking love when it rains. It's I love
0:15
Speaker 1: it too, But like this fourth week, I was like,
0:17
Speaker 1: I'm a little over it. I'm all done with us.
0:19
Speaker 1: I'm not, but I understand it's not good for Californians
0:22
Speaker 1: and that people are and obviously it's a serious dangerous situations.
0:26
Speaker 1: So I obviously don't love the rain. And if I
0:28
Speaker 1: had to choose to have the rain or not have
0:31
Speaker 1: the rain, I would have to choose to not have
0:32
Speaker 1: the rain. But then we're in a drought. Chelsea, I know,
0:35
Speaker 1: but I just enjoy the sound of the pitter patter
0:38
Speaker 1: and I just did so much moodier and it's like cozy.
0:42
Speaker 1: I love it so much. It makes me I just
0:44
Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, Hi, what's happening. What's new? Well, we
0:47
Speaker 1: got to see all of the gals from ma Yorka
0:50
Speaker 1: that we went to. God I couldn't go when was it?
0:54
Speaker 1: Because I was well, I had the Critics Choice Awards,
0:57
Speaker 1: so we had rehearsals Friday for that where I was
1:00
Speaker 1: so excited. How did that go? Was amazing? I loved it.
1:03
Speaker 1: I love dressing up like a little Barbie do you
1:06
Speaker 1: and that red dresses everything. Yeah, it was actually hot pink.
1:10
Speaker 1: It was like the color of your of your hair amazing,
1:12
Speaker 1: well parts of the color of your like this little
1:14
Speaker 1: strand up here. Yes. Um, yeah, it was really fun.
1:17
Speaker 1: We had such a good time, my writers and I
1:19
Speaker 1: that helped write the monologue or roll and everybody there
1:24
Speaker 1: and then we went out after and yeah, it was
1:27
Speaker 1: really fun. I had a great night. I'm so happy. Yeah,
1:30
Speaker 1: it was funny to do actually good Yea. Usually I
1:33
Speaker 1: don't like to do things like that because I'm like, oh,
1:35
Speaker 1: that's gonna be a painting NAIs. Plus it was interrupting
1:37
Speaker 1: my you know, Christmas. But you know, I just understood
1:41
Speaker 1: that I'm I'm going to have to not and we
1:44
Speaker 1: have to say yes to work when I yea, when
1:46
Speaker 1: I have a snow way, I have to learn how
1:49
Speaker 1: to not take four months off. Yeah, well we'll send
1:52
Speaker 1: you back right, Yeah, I'm going back pretty. I'm actually
1:55
Speaker 1: marrying my makeup artist from New York Mia. I'm marrying
1:59
Speaker 1: her tomorrow to someone else, so to her fiance, and
2:04
Speaker 1: I am the officiant for their wedding. She's like, and
2:08
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how that happened exactly, but she told
2:12
Speaker 1: me this weekend. Last week, I was in New York
2:14
Speaker 1: doing some press. She told me that she assumed that
2:19
Speaker 1: I have married a bunch of people already. And I
2:22
Speaker 1: looked at her, and my sister was with us at
2:24
Speaker 1: dinner or Shoshana, and we both looked at her and thought,
2:28
Speaker 1: have you been listening to anything I've ever said? Why
2:31
Speaker 1: would you think that I marry a lot of people?
2:33
Speaker 1: You know? I can kind of see it as an
2:35
Speaker 1: extension of like you get a lot of gay couples
2:36
Speaker 1: engaged at your shows and things, right, and yeah, but
2:40
Speaker 1: like this is a bigger level of responsibility. So Casey,
2:45
Speaker 1: who is an assistant, he got me officiated online and
2:51
Speaker 1: now I'm an efficient I can marry people. So please
2:54
Speaker 1: don't put in request because it's not happening. I'm not
2:56
Speaker 1: doing this again. This is a one off. Oh my gosh,
2:59
Speaker 1: are you Are you a reverend? Are you I'm an officiate? Yes,
3:04
Speaker 1: I'm a shaman. I'm a guy inecologist. I'm a shaman.
3:06
Speaker 1: I'm a reverend. A reverend is good. That's kind of
3:09
Speaker 1: like my speed great. I mean, I'm just fucking preaching
3:12
Speaker 1: gospel basically all the time, right, yes, so many gospels. So, Chelsea,
3:18
Speaker 1: we recorded this episode with our very fantastic guest a
3:21
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, and you were a little under
3:24
Speaker 1: the weather. So just so people know, that's why your
3:26
Speaker 1: voice sounds a little different. Before I introduced our guest today,
3:30
Speaker 1: I want to say that I was on a plane.
3:32
Speaker 1: I was flying back from Boston, and I spoked a
3:34
Speaker 1: lot of pop because I was tending to my sister
3:37
Speaker 1: who had surgery and I was being a nurse and
3:40
Speaker 1: that was stressful for Chelsea. So she smoked a lot
3:42
Speaker 1: of pot. And then I have a very sensitive throat,
3:44
Speaker 1: so I started coughing and I was like, okay, forget it.
3:47
Speaker 1: Then I had shows and on the East Coast I
3:49
Speaker 1: got on the plane Monday on Jet Blue. Thank god
3:53
Speaker 1: I had my own little cubby hole area, because I
3:56
Speaker 1: deteriorated on that plane ride like I had full blown aids.
4:00
Speaker 1: I mean I was shivering, my back was thumping, I
4:04
Speaker 1: was I was like hacking up a storm. Of course,
4:07
Speaker 1: I had a mask on because I'm not a Republican,
4:10
Speaker 1: and I just was like, oh my god, they may
4:12
Speaker 1: have to ground the plane and take me straight to
4:14
Speaker 1: the emergency room in Dubois or wherever we were flying over.
4:19
Speaker 1: And I got off the plane went straight My driver
4:21
Speaker 1: drove me straight to my doctor's office. He goes, don't
4:24
Speaker 1: come inside. Meet me in the alleyway because he's like,
4:27
Speaker 1: I have to test you for RSB, COVID and the
4:30
Speaker 1: flu that's going around. I'm like, I had the flu shot.
4:32
Speaker 1: He goes, it doesn't matter, everyone's got it anyway. I
4:35
Speaker 1: ended up having the flu. I'm on my fifth day
4:37
Speaker 1: of antibiotics, so I'm no longer infectious, which is upsetting
4:40
Speaker 1: for me because I wanted to give you something when
4:42
Speaker 1: you got here. Well, I have something, so I'm gonna
4:43
Speaker 1: give it to you. Okay, what do you have. I'm
4:46
Speaker 1: just kidding. I'm kidding. I actually got COVID for the
4:48
Speaker 1: first time the other week. Oh you did that after
4:50
Speaker 1: I saw you at that party. Yeah, yeah, I got
4:53
Speaker 1: it from you room. Your friend gave me the mushroom.
4:58
Speaker 1: She gave my boyfriend the mushroom. Okay, this is al
5:00
Speaker 1: sandraw Cooper. Everybody, Okay, you know her from Call Her Daddy,
5:04
Speaker 1: which is the number one podcast in all of the globe. Okay,
5:09
Speaker 1: it's probably more popular than Joe Rogan's podcast, Honey, hang
5:12
Speaker 1: Out with You More um, And she put herself on
5:16
Speaker 1: the map in a major, major way. Because you know
5:19
Speaker 1: what's so funny. The first time I met Alexandra, I
5:22
Speaker 1: didn't know who the funk she was and I should
5:25
Speaker 1: let me know it. Yeah, well, my publicists were like,
5:28
Speaker 1: you have to go do Alexandra Cooper's podcast. It's the
5:30
Speaker 1: biggest podcast in the world. She just got this huge
5:32
Speaker 1: podcast deal. Blah blah blah blah. I go, sure, whatever,
5:35
Speaker 1: and I go to her house and the whole time
5:38
Speaker 1: she's like, do you even know who I am? I'm like, well,
5:41
Speaker 1: I mean no, but stop saying that, Like, I can't lie.
5:45
Speaker 1: I'm not going to pretend it was like the awkward
5:47
Speaker 1: girl who was like fan girl in that Chelsea. I
5:51
Speaker 1: was stoned. I had my sunglasses on. I was like, listen, girl,
5:54
Speaker 1: we can't we don't have time for this fan girl, Like,
5:55
Speaker 1: let's get down to business. And then throughout the hour,
5:59
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay, can see why this girl
6:01
Speaker 1: is popular and she's fun and then I've been able
6:04
Speaker 1: to watch your success and run into you a few
6:06
Speaker 1: times that I do really like you. Thank you. I
6:08
Speaker 1: like you too. You're in a very very solid relationship,
6:12
Speaker 1: you said the other day when I saw you at
6:14
Speaker 1: the Amphire of Them for two years. Right, it's shocking.
6:16
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of myself. It's been good because the
6:19
Speaker 1: toxicity was running through my veins in college and out
6:22
Speaker 1: of college in the New York City, like I was
6:24
Speaker 1: just trying to ruin guys live. And then I got
6:26
Speaker 1: over it and I was like, toxic is now actually
6:28
Speaker 1: boring to me because it's the same thing every time.
6:32
Speaker 1: And then I found healthy and it's good. How did
6:35
Speaker 1: you find that? I found that because I feel like
6:38
Speaker 1: I was just ready, Like I wouldn't have been ready
6:42
Speaker 1: if it I wouldn't have found healthy if I wasn't healthy.
6:45
Speaker 1: I got into therapy. Well there's the answer for all
6:47
Speaker 1: of us, right, And sometimes you don't want to be
6:49
Speaker 1: in therapy because you're like I want to keep spiraling,
6:53
Speaker 1: like this is better for content, this is better just
6:55
Speaker 1: for me, and generally keep living in the dark. And
6:58
Speaker 1: then I woke up and I was like, all right,
6:59
Speaker 1: I guess it's time I figured out, well, that's good.
7:02
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I didn't figure my ship out until
7:04
Speaker 1: I was like forty. But I think when you're an
7:06
Speaker 1: artist or a creative, you think all the bad ship
7:09
Speaker 1: is helpful for your material. Like I remember doing stand
7:12
Speaker 1: up and anytime I broke up with somebody's when I
7:15
Speaker 1: was just crushing it because I could just go off
7:17
Speaker 1: on that relationship. And then you've come to a point
7:19
Speaker 1: where you're like, well, no one's gonna date me anymore.
7:22
Speaker 1: And then you're like, but who gives a fund? Because
7:24
Speaker 1: I don't want to date anybody anyway. But then you know,
7:26
Speaker 1: you come to grips with the idea that like it's
7:29
Speaker 1: so exhausting to be in something that requires so much energy.
7:33
Speaker 1: You know, like you don't need drama or bad ship
7:37
Speaker 1: or toxicity in your life to create good stuff. You
7:40
Speaker 1: can do that. It's like when fat comedians lose weight
7:42
Speaker 1: and they're like, well are they still going to be funny?
7:44
Speaker 1: You're like, what you're talking about, Like that's our only bit,
7:48
Speaker 1: Like like you got funny because you're fat. That's not
7:51
Speaker 1: the way it works anyway. So tell us a little
7:54
Speaker 1: bit about your for lack of a better word journey
7:57
Speaker 1: into podcasting, into the situation that you're in, Like, how
8:01
Speaker 1: did everything start dapping? If you excuse me, Oh my god,
8:04
Speaker 1: I just got the flu end COVID. At the same time,
8:07
Speaker 1: Chelsea just looked me dead in the eyes. We made
8:09
Speaker 1: eye contact and she just burped a cough on. Because
8:13
Speaker 1: I have to be completely honest, I'm wearing a Maxi
8:16
Speaker 1: shield right now because I cough. This cough I have
8:19
Speaker 1: is so bad that I said to my housekeeper, and
8:21
Speaker 1: we only speak Spanish, I'm like, tenemos Maxi shield. No,
8:27
Speaker 1: you know what she sounds like. It's when you have
8:29
Speaker 1: like a cough coming and you're holding your breath in
8:32
Speaker 1: your throat and you're trying to talk. It's been since
8:34
Speaker 1: I walked into the room, So why don't I just podcast?
8:37
Speaker 1: You sit over there, you just take a little break.
8:41
Speaker 1: I haven't, and I funcs. It's fucking disgusted. And every
8:45
Speaker 1: time I was out, I was getting my color done
8:48
Speaker 1: last night and I coughed so hard and then I
8:50
Speaker 1: got up. I was like, is that you're in tripping
8:54
Speaker 1: down my leg? And I got up. Luckily they're two
8:56
Speaker 1: gay men, so I didn't have to be ashamed and
8:59
Speaker 1: I said, you got I need you to get me
9:01
Speaker 1: my pea coat because I can't walk out of the
9:04
Speaker 1: salon like this because I've urinated all over myself. And
9:07
Speaker 1: they both looked at each other, got my coat and
9:10
Speaker 1: didn't even say goodbye to me. They were both like,
9:12
Speaker 1: fuck off, get out of here. But so now, because
9:15
Speaker 1: of this crazy cough, I have to wear a Maxi
9:18
Speaker 1: shield because urine is just going to come out. A
9:20
Speaker 1: Maxi shield that's shielding the rest of the world from
9:24
Speaker 1: my urine. I wouldn't judge you, but like behind your back,
9:28
Speaker 1: I would. Yeah, I'm judging me in front of us,
9:31
Speaker 1: both of us. Your pants, Well, that sounds like it's next.
9:35
Speaker 1: By the way, did you hear that putin shout his pants?
9:37
Speaker 1: I putin fell down the stairs, Good for you, your
9:41
Speaker 1: fucking asshole, and then shot his pants. Yes, I love
9:45
Speaker 1: I love stories about people shooting their pants, especially that guy.
9:48
Speaker 1: It's great. Okay, So back to you. The journey, the journey,
9:51
Speaker 1: the journey. Yeah, so I mean it's it's I can
9:53
Speaker 1: keep it quick. It was I was out of college.
9:56
Speaker 1: I was on unemployment, text trying to figure my did
9:58
Speaker 1: you go to Boston University? Was just a Boston, buss
10:01
Speaker 1: is my favorite city. I love it. It was so
10:03
Speaker 1: good for college too. I feel like New York you
10:05
Speaker 1: think you would want to go there, and then you're like, well,
10:07
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in college in New York City.
10:10
Speaker 1: So Boston was perfect because I had all of the colleges.
10:13
Speaker 1: And then that's where the professional athletes came in because
10:15
Speaker 1: they were like, oh the city, and it was great.
10:17
Speaker 1: It was just a perfect opportunity for me to really thrive.
10:20
Speaker 1: I got out of college and I had this awful job.
10:23
Speaker 1: I was in sales and it was for a magazine
10:25
Speaker 1: and printice sucking Dying. So my boss is always like,
10:28
Speaker 1: why can't you sell ship? I'm like, because who the
10:29
Speaker 1: funk wants to buy an advertisement in a magazine like bitch,
10:33
Speaker 1: this is dinosaur ages. So I was really unamused by
10:37
Speaker 1: my job, miserable, and I was just typing up scripts
10:40
Speaker 1: every day, like, wanted to start a YouTube channel, want
10:42
Speaker 1: to do something in the creative field. My dad's in
10:44
Speaker 1: sports television. I majored in film and television and then
10:47
Speaker 1: I'm at a fucking ad agency. But that's usually how
10:49
Speaker 1: it goes, Like you gotta get a job you hate
10:51
Speaker 1: and finally I got fired and it was incredible. Everyone
10:55
Speaker 1: was crying the day we all got laid off, and
10:58
Speaker 1: I was like crying tears of happiness, just be because
11:00
Speaker 1: I hated my job so much. But I didn't have
11:02
Speaker 1: the balls to leave because I couldn't financially just be
11:05
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna leave and go like I don't come
11:07
Speaker 1: from a trust fund, like I had to have a job,
11:09
Speaker 1: so I'm on unemployment checks. And I was going to
11:12
Speaker 1: start a YouTube channel for my in Boston in New
11:14
Speaker 1: York now in New York, and then I wanted to
11:17
Speaker 1: start a YouTube channel call her Daddy was now an
11:20
Speaker 1: idea and I was going to do it as YouTube channel.
11:22
Speaker 1: And then some people were like, you should do a podcast.
11:24
Speaker 1: It's not oversaturated like YouTube right now, especially with the
11:27
Speaker 1: way you talk. All right, listen to this. You should
11:31
Speaker 1: have been born with a podcast. I literally came out
11:34
Speaker 1: of the room and like, I I should have had
11:35
Speaker 1: a microphone in front of me because I could never
11:37
Speaker 1: stop talking. My mother's always like shut the funk up,
11:39
Speaker 1: like your other siblings speak absolutely not. So then I
11:42
Speaker 1: just started the podcast. And I had really no plan,
11:46
Speaker 1: like there was no business plan. I didn't know anything
11:48
Speaker 1: about the industry. And after the first episode was uploaded,
11:51
Speaker 1: Dave Portnoy from Barstool deemed me and was like, what
11:55
Speaker 1: is this thing? Like what is going on here? Like
11:57
Speaker 1: who made this promo? And I was like, oh, I
11:59
Speaker 1: edited it to other like I edited myself. I went
12:01
Speaker 1: to film school and then I went in for meeting.
12:03
Speaker 1: Dave Portnoy signed me and the show went like number
12:06
Speaker 1: one on episode four and it was wild and it's
12:10
Speaker 1: it was like very aggressive start where I wasn't prepared
12:14
Speaker 1: almost for the success. I understand. I'm so lucky. Sometimes
12:17
Speaker 1: you have to work something for a very long time.
12:19
Speaker 1: For me, it like it was uploaded and then it
12:21
Speaker 1: was like, what the funk do I do now? There
12:23
Speaker 1: was no plan, there was no vision, and so it
12:25
Speaker 1: was kind of like a makeshift moment where every week
12:29
Speaker 1: was just like trying to come up with a new
12:31
Speaker 1: episode and a new concept and and then it just
12:34
Speaker 1: got big and then I left Barstool, took my I
12:36
Speaker 1: P and went to Spotify. It was pretty wild And
12:40
Speaker 1: how long has that been? So I have a three
12:42
Speaker 1: year deal with Spotify and I'm halfway into my second year,
12:46
Speaker 1: so it's been pretty wild and it's been like a
12:48
Speaker 1: pretty amazing experience. And do you have any interest in
12:51
Speaker 1: like having a talk show? I don't even know what
12:55
Speaker 1: It's quite crazy because if you asked me, I never
12:58
Speaker 1: thought I would be a podcaster. Like I didn't know
13:00
Speaker 1: that was even a fucking thing back in the day.
13:02
Speaker 1: It'd be like my dad's hobby was to listen to
13:04
Speaker 1: podcast and now I'm a podcaster, and so I don't know,
13:08
Speaker 1: like I don't know if it'd be a talk show.
13:10
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's going to continue. I think
13:12
Speaker 1: I'm just making my show what I wanted to be.
13:14
Speaker 1: Like I'm doing video now that's not a podcast technically,
13:17
Speaker 1: but it is because I wanted to be, Like I'm
13:20
Speaker 1: very stimulated by the visual aspect. Audio was never like
13:23
Speaker 1: my passion, but it is how I got obviously. Well
13:26
Speaker 1: it's kind of funny because it all turns into the
13:28
Speaker 1: same thing anyway, you know, like podcasting was supposed to
13:31
Speaker 1: be so it wasn't on the air, and then all
13:33
Speaker 1: of a sudden, you're watching podcasts on YouTube and you're
13:35
Speaker 1: watching them and now it's a TV show and you're like,
13:38
Speaker 1: it's like all of media, you know, all these streaming
13:40
Speaker 1: platforms are basically turning back into the three major networks
13:43
Speaker 1: because they're all amalgamating. You know, Disney buys this, Warner
13:48
Speaker 1: buys this, blah blah blah blah, Viacom buys this, and
13:50
Speaker 1: we're basically getting right back to where we started. So
13:53
Speaker 1: we have all these streaming platforms that are now going
13:55
Speaker 1: to put commercials back on, so they're back to NBC,
13:58
Speaker 1: ABC and CBS. It's all really stupid. It's like cell
14:02
Speaker 1: phones came out. They were really small, then they got
14:04
Speaker 1: really big, and then they got small, and now they're
14:07
Speaker 1: like what the fuck. You know, I'm just waiting for
14:10
Speaker 1: them to like come up with bundles of streaming services
14:12
Speaker 1: and then it's just cable. Absolutely, you're right, it's a
14:15
Speaker 1: great point, so tell us about and then now you're
14:18
Speaker 1: in a normal relationship. I find that hard to believe.
14:20
Speaker 1: It's it's it's very hard to believe. And I know
14:23
Speaker 1: people on the internet which ship talk to me like
14:24
Speaker 1: he doesn't exist. It's not he exists, he exists, thank you. Yeah,
14:30
Speaker 1: it's really wild. I think that the reason it's so
14:34
Speaker 1: normal is because I actually don't know. I need to
14:38
Speaker 1: like think about this answer. I guess it's normal because
14:40
Speaker 1: he's very normal. He grew up in l A. He's
14:43
Speaker 1: very unaffected by just all of it because you grew
14:46
Speaker 1: up around it, and he has no interest in it.
14:48
Speaker 1: He's in the industry, but he's very private. So we
14:51
Speaker 1: keep things offline, which I think is nice because my
14:54
Speaker 1: relationship is not predicated on what other people think about us.
14:59
Speaker 1: And I'm not like making decisions because I'm seeing comments
15:02
Speaker 1: or I'm not using it to monetize my business. It's
15:06
Speaker 1: a real relationship. And so if I don't like him,
15:07
Speaker 1: I don't like him. Before I like him, I like him.
15:09
Speaker 1: It's not going to be based off of something I
15:10
Speaker 1: see on social media. And I don't even give a ship.
15:12
Speaker 1: If you have a platform, like when people have a
15:14
Speaker 1: hundred followers and you're posting your partner, it is affected,
15:18
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like or how many comments
15:20
Speaker 1: do we get? We can get into many likes on that,
15:22
Speaker 1: like people are saying he's so hot, is are they
15:24
Speaker 1: going to d M him? Or he's so ugly? Should
15:26
Speaker 1: I dump him? Like? There's too much stimulation going on.
15:29
Speaker 1: And so I think the crux of why it's healthy
15:32
Speaker 1: is because it's as normal as I could humanly possibly
15:35
Speaker 1: make it, and the only people that are influencing my
15:37
Speaker 1: relationship is me and him. I like that. And what
15:40
Speaker 1: would you say? I mean, I'm gonna ask you probably
15:41
Speaker 1: a hard question to answer, but I think you probably
15:44
Speaker 1: can because you seem to have a good, strong sense
15:46
Speaker 1: of yourself, which I think is really admirable and I
15:48
Speaker 1: wish all women would have, especially in their twenties. What
15:52
Speaker 1: would you accredit your success and value in this podcast space?
15:56
Speaker 1: What are your attributes that have gotten you here? And
15:59
Speaker 1: why do you think you're so good at it? Thank you?
16:02
Speaker 1: First of all. I mean, I think I feel like
16:04
Speaker 1: I was very fortunate to be raised with a pretty
16:07
Speaker 1: like normal, stable family, which I recognize that makes me
16:11
Speaker 1: like not normal because most people's everyone's family ship is
16:15
Speaker 1: family ship. But my parents were so obsessed with making
16:19
Speaker 1: sure I was grounded, Like I think they knew I
16:21
Speaker 1: wanted to be an entertainment my whole life, and they
16:23
Speaker 1: kept being like, no, you're gonna go to college. No,
16:25
Speaker 1: we're not going to go to auditions for you to
16:27
Speaker 1: be an actress, like no, So they were making sure
16:29
Speaker 1: that I was not getting ahead of myself and that
16:31
Speaker 1: I was like focusing on what matter which was in
16:33
Speaker 1: their minds, like education and having normal life and being
16:36
Speaker 1: a good person and making me go to church every
16:38
Speaker 1: fucking Sunday, And it was just a very I live.
16:42
Speaker 1: Grew up in Pennsylvania, and so I feel like my
16:44
Speaker 1: parents instilled the values of just like not getting affected
16:48
Speaker 1: by all of the bullshit because they didn't let me
16:50
Speaker 1: do certain things when I wanted to do it. On
16:52
Speaker 1: top of that, I think sports honestly was like a
16:55
Speaker 1: huge help towards me having this drive and grit and tenacity.
17:01
Speaker 1: And also like the amount of people that say about
17:03
Speaker 1: me on the internet, I don't know why doesn't affect
17:06
Speaker 1: me as much as maybe it would other creators. I
17:08
Speaker 1: think because of the absolute annihilation I received at playing
17:13
Speaker 1: Division one soccer. It was like the hardest thing I've
17:15
Speaker 1: ever done in my life, and getting basically like verbally
17:19
Speaker 1: abused every single day by a coach and teammates and
17:22
Speaker 1: the whole thing, like it just made me a very
17:24
Speaker 1: strong person. So I when I came into this industry,
17:27
Speaker 1: I'm very passionate about what I do. I think is
17:29
Speaker 1: like why I'm able to stay grounded. I'm not doing
17:32
Speaker 1: it for wrong reasons. I'm not doing it for fame
17:34
Speaker 1: and money, Like I'm driven by the fact that, like
17:36
Speaker 1: I've been obsessed with creating since such a young age,
17:40
Speaker 1: and then just having support from my family and like
17:42
Speaker 1: them literally hip checking me every day of like, no,
17:45
Speaker 1: you sound fucking insane, like no, that you're being a brat,
17:48
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I am, so I'm fortunate. I I
17:50
Speaker 1: credit it really to my family. So you grew up
17:53
Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania, And how many siblings do you have to
17:55
Speaker 1: I'm the youngest, Okay, I'm the youngest too. Do you
17:57
Speaker 1: have a boy and a girl, oldest sister and then
18:00
Speaker 1: middle brother? And I also like that because you made
18:02
Speaker 1: an announcement last year you were talking about becoming more
18:05
Speaker 1: politically active and taking a stand for things that you
18:08
Speaker 1: believe in. And I think with somebody with the size
18:10
Speaker 1: platform you have, I think the thing that kind of
18:12
Speaker 1: bugs me is when people, young people don't don't do that.
18:15
Speaker 1: It irks me because we you know, you have so
18:18
Speaker 1: much influence and so much power. So I just love
18:20
Speaker 1: that you're standing up for things, and you know, for
18:22
Speaker 1: human rights and for basic things that we should all
18:25
Speaker 1: be standing up for. And it's not necessarily political to
18:29
Speaker 1: stand up for human rights. It's kind of necessary. So
18:33
Speaker 1: that's also another great thing. So on this podcast we
18:36
Speaker 1: give advice to real people who call in, you know
18:39
Speaker 1: a little bit about I'm excited. I love giving advice. Yeah,
18:43
Speaker 1: so do I I can't get enough of it. I'm
18:45
Speaker 1: just like, I overheard a conversation the other day. I'm like,
18:48
Speaker 1: can I just chime in here? Okay? I was like,
18:50
Speaker 1: you're not making any sense right now, and you're not
18:53
Speaker 1: helping her. I'll help you and you get out of
18:55
Speaker 1: this conversation. I was at the airport lounge in Well,
19:00
Speaker 1: we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back
19:02
Speaker 1: with Alex Cooper and Chelsea and we're back great. Well,
19:10
Speaker 1: our first email comes from Bella. She's eighteen, she's a student.
19:15
Speaker 1: The subject line is please help. He calls me mom
19:18
Speaker 1: and can't get it up. Dear Chelsea, I'm eighteen and
19:22
Speaker 1: in college and going out with this cool guy. For now.
19:25
Speaker 1: Things aren't that serious, but we do drop the album
19:28
Speaker 1: here and there. My problem is sometimes he says I
19:31
Speaker 1: love you, mom, or just accidentally calls me mom. What
19:35
Speaker 1: the hell am I supposed to think about that? I
19:38
Speaker 1: know it's subconscious and he can't help it, but it
19:40
Speaker 1: weirds me out. He has a really close relationship with
19:43
Speaker 1: his mom after his parents got divorced, But the fact
19:46
Speaker 1: that he calls his partner that on accident is strange. Right,
19:50
Speaker 1: it's by accident, It's not on accident. Stops saying that everybody,
19:55
Speaker 1: it's by things happen by accident. Nothing is on an accident.
20:00
Speaker 1: Or am I overreacting? She's am I overreacting? Yes, it's
20:03
Speaker 1: a fucking bad grammar. I can't take it. In addition,
20:07
Speaker 1: he also has this problem with getting it up, and
20:09
Speaker 1: he's eighteen too. I don't judge him, and I've always
20:12
Speaker 1: made it clear that when it's us, he's safe and
20:14
Speaker 1: in a safe space, but he seems young to be
20:17
Speaker 1: facing this type of issue, right, I can't help but
20:19
Speaker 1: overthink it. He smokes a ship ton of weed on
20:22
Speaker 1: a daily basis, so maybe that's a contributor. But this
20:25
Speaker 1: entire situation makes me feel unattractive, even though all my
20:28
Speaker 1: friends tell me it's not my fault. Kindly, Bella, would
20:31
Speaker 1: you like to take this from the time take this
20:33
Speaker 1: number one? You're eighteen years old and all I heard
20:35
Speaker 1: was you feel unattractive and this guy is calling you
20:38
Speaker 1: his mom. Get the funk out. I don't I feel
20:41
Speaker 1: like when you're at that point in your life, if
20:42
Speaker 1: there's any doubt in your mind that something's off, leave,
20:46
Speaker 1: You're too young, You've too much to do, you have
20:49
Speaker 1: so many opportunities. It's so fucking weird. He's calling you
20:53
Speaker 1: his mom. Sorry to anyone that refers to their partner
20:55
Speaker 1: as their mother, he either wants to funck his mom.
20:58
Speaker 1: There's something weird that went not like. I don't know.
21:00
Speaker 1: I just don't think that's for you to uncover. I
21:02
Speaker 1: think it's time for you to pack your stuff, find
21:04
Speaker 1: someone that makes you feel attractive, and don't be called
21:08
Speaker 1: someone's mom when you're trying to suck them. And unfortunately
21:10
Speaker 1: you can't even suck him because he can't get hard.
21:12
Speaker 1: We don't even need to judge him on that. But
21:14
Speaker 1: you want to have some good sex in college, Like,
21:16
Speaker 1: let's find someone that can suck and doesn't refer to
21:17
Speaker 1: you as mommy. Yeah, there's plenty of guys who can
21:19
Speaker 1: fuck that won't get it up, that won't call you mom,
21:22
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, first of all, Bella, get out
21:25
Speaker 1: of there. This is a waste of your time. This
21:27
Speaker 1: is your prime, prime learning to have sex time in
21:31
Speaker 1: your life. This is where you lay the foundation of
21:33
Speaker 1: what you like, what you don't like. And you don't
21:36
Speaker 1: like this. He's not getting it up. Calling you mom
21:38
Speaker 1: is fucking weird. And you just exactly what you said.
21:43
Speaker 1: You just said that you don't feel attractive. That's it,
21:47
Speaker 1: You're done, goodbye. Find somebody who makes you feel hot, yes,
21:51
Speaker 1: and and that can fuck you. I remember being a
21:54
Speaker 1: kid and like once a year I would accidentally call
21:57
Speaker 1: a teacher mom. That ended in sixth grade. He shouldn't
22:00
Speaker 1: be eighteen and still called. But a teacher is different
22:02
Speaker 1: because they're an authoritative figure. They're they're helping you learn,
22:06
Speaker 1: they're giving you an education. Although teachers, whatever the point
22:10
Speaker 1: is is your teacher is not sucking you, hopefully, And
22:12
Speaker 1: I do feel as though there's nothing beneficial in this relationship.
22:16
Speaker 1: You're not getting fucked and you're his mommy. You're not
22:19
Speaker 1: a mom yet, you know what I mean? Those days
22:21
Speaker 1: may come at one point, like leave them for later
22:23
Speaker 1: on and for your children. Yeah yeah, And it's not
22:26
Speaker 1: your job to fix him, no, no, no, no, learn yeah,
22:29
Speaker 1: nip that in the bud, because listen, if you don't
22:31
Speaker 1: learn this lesson now. Unfortunately, you'll have to learn it
22:33
Speaker 1: over and over again, so let this be the first
22:36
Speaker 1: and the last time. Yes. Well, our next question comes
22:40
Speaker 1: from Rochelle, who is maybe one of the most angelic
22:42
Speaker 1: sweet people I've ever talked to. She's twenty two and
22:45
Speaker 1: she has kind of the opposite question. Dear Chelsea, I
22:48
Speaker 1: hope all is well. I'm here reaching out for advice
22:51
Speaker 1: on my boyfriend and I was sex life, My boyfriend
22:54
Speaker 1: and my sex life. My boyfriend and my sex life. Yes,
22:58
Speaker 1: we're both twenty two years old and have been together
23:01
Speaker 1: for four years now. Last year we lived together in
23:03
Speaker 1: Philly for over a year. It was amazing. We both
23:06
Speaker 1: moved back home to our parents so we could save
23:08
Speaker 1: some money, and eventually moved to a better location. We
23:11
Speaker 1: live a couple hours apart. Our dilemma has been how
23:14
Speaker 1: horny he often gets, and then many times a day
23:17
Speaker 1: he attempts to initiate sex. Yes, I'm aware this is
23:20
Speaker 1: not the worst problem to have. I've enjoyed our time
23:23
Speaker 1: apart because of this. I want so badly to live
23:26
Speaker 1: with him, but the thought of once again being asked
23:28
Speaker 1: for sex every day infuriates me. It makes me feel
23:32
Speaker 1: like I'm just a bunch of holes. I thought a
23:34
Speaker 1: sex drive would lower after some time, but it's been
23:36
Speaker 1: four years. We're planning our life together, and sometimes all
23:40
Speaker 1: I can dream about is the happiness I'll feel when
23:43
Speaker 1: we get old and he gets e ed. We spoke
23:46
Speaker 1: to a therapist about this a couple of months ago,
23:48
Speaker 1: and she mentioned giving me space to initiate it myself. However,
23:51
Speaker 1: I've found that my sex drive seems to be much
23:53
Speaker 1: lower and he does not have the patience to wait
23:56
Speaker 1: for me to initiate. This makes me feel like a
23:59
Speaker 1: shitty girlfriend for an not wanting sex as much as
24:01
Speaker 1: he does, but I also feel like I'm dealing with
24:03
Speaker 1: a desperate sixteen year old. This is our biggest issue
24:06
Speaker 1: in our relationship. We've communicated so much and tried so
24:09
Speaker 1: many different things. It's the only thing that makes me
24:12
Speaker 1: wonder if we should actually be together and pursue a
24:14
Speaker 1: life with one another, if we got married someday. Isn't
24:17
Speaker 1: this something that could kill a marriage? Thank you for
24:19
Speaker 1: reading Rochelle. Okay, first of all, can he go funck Bella?
24:22
Speaker 1: Because Bella needs to get fucked and this guy's got
24:25
Speaker 1: extra juice going right, right for Bella. We had a
24:28
Speaker 1: previous caller before you and her boyfriend can't get it
24:32
Speaker 1: up and calls her mom. So maybe we could just
24:34
Speaker 1: do a swap. I think I could solve the problem.
24:38
Speaker 1: Is this the person who was just asking a question.
24:42
Speaker 1: I've never been on this show, Ladies, It's a pleasure
24:50
Speaker 1: to meet you. I'm so sorry for your predicament. Thank you.
24:56
Speaker 1: Do you want some advice? Yeah? Should I go first
24:58
Speaker 1: for it? Okay? So I think this is the classic,
25:01
Speaker 1: which I think is like, this will make you feel better.
25:03
Speaker 1: No one has the same sex drive in a relationship,
25:06
Speaker 1: and this is like a very common issue where two
25:08
Speaker 1: people are on a different page with their sex life.
25:11
Speaker 1: The issue is the person that wants sex more is
25:14
Speaker 1: made to feel like the needy one is made to
25:17
Speaker 1: feel like I want you all the time and feels
25:18
Speaker 1: rejected because the person that doesn't have as high as
25:21
Speaker 1: a sex drive is rejecting them. You, however, are like,
25:24
Speaker 1: my vagina is going to fall off if we have
25:27
Speaker 1: sex one more goddamn time. Please go jack off in
25:30
Speaker 1: the bathroom. So I think it all comes down, in
25:32
Speaker 1: my opinion, to communication. I don't feel like you should
25:35
Speaker 1: be having sex in moments that you're not turned on
25:38
Speaker 1: and you're not in the mood and you're just doing
25:40
Speaker 1: it to appease him. But I also understand on his
25:43
Speaker 1: his point of view is like, I'm attracted to my partner,
25:46
Speaker 1: I want to have sex with my girlfriend, so I
25:48
Speaker 1: would actually set a time. It's not after sex, it's
25:52
Speaker 1: not before sex. It's at dinner, it's at breakfast, it's
25:54
Speaker 1: at lunch, and you actually have a sit down conversation
25:57
Speaker 1: and you start with a compliment of how much you
25:59
Speaker 1: appreciate the relationship you have and all the things you
26:02
Speaker 1: love about it. But then with regard to your sex life,
26:05
Speaker 1: you come from the point of view of saying, hey,
26:07
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling because when we have sex, I love it.
26:11
Speaker 1: I'm having great sex with you, like there is no
26:14
Speaker 1: denying the dick game is great. But I think that
26:18
Speaker 1: for me, there's just certain things where I'm maybe not
26:22
Speaker 1: in the mood and you are, and I want to
26:24
Speaker 1: just find a happy medium so that you feel satisfied
26:27
Speaker 1: and I feel satisfied because it's not fair to you.
26:29
Speaker 1: And if your partner is like I can't do that,
26:32
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, then maybe this is someone that has a
26:35
Speaker 1: lack of respect in a greater aspect that's outside of
26:38
Speaker 1: the bedroom. That's a problem. If you're telling your partner
26:40
Speaker 1: that you're not enjoying something and they want to continue
26:43
Speaker 1: to do it, that's selfish. So hopefully your partners like, okay, babe,
26:46
Speaker 1: how can we work on this? And it's almost like
26:49
Speaker 1: you start like a regiment of every time that we
26:51
Speaker 1: want to have sex. I get to initiate once a week,
26:54
Speaker 1: and you get to initiate once a week, and like,
26:55
Speaker 1: let's start with that and then go from there. But
26:58
Speaker 1: I think it's actually like building in which sounds kind
27:00
Speaker 1: of corny, but almost a communication that allows you to
27:04
Speaker 1: tell him how you're feeling and then tell him you
27:07
Speaker 1: don't get the opportunity to initiate because he's always fucking
27:10
Speaker 1: a horny little dog. So on weekends, we're not having
27:14
Speaker 1: sex unless I initiate it. And then hopefully you get
27:17
Speaker 1: in the mood and you're like, wait what, So it's
27:19
Speaker 1: like you can pick two days a week we're gonna
27:21
Speaker 1: have sex during the week, but on the weekend it's
27:22
Speaker 1: my time, or like come up with a rhythm. I
27:25
Speaker 1: don't know's I like that idea because I understand. I
27:27
Speaker 1: can totally relate to being felt like you're being attacked
27:30
Speaker 1: all the time sexually, when a guy's on you and
27:33
Speaker 1: they want to have sex all the time, and you're like,
27:35
Speaker 1: give me some space to come to you. If I
27:37
Speaker 1: could hit on you and initiate that would be sexier
27:41
Speaker 1: for me. Then constantly feel like if I take my
27:43
Speaker 1: shirt off in front of you, I'm gonna get pummeled.
27:45
Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from. I also think Alex's
27:48
Speaker 1: advice is good and you should start with that, But
27:51
Speaker 1: I think it is a big issue if you don't
27:54
Speaker 1: resolve it now, because you do not want to just
27:57
Speaker 1: be spending your life avoiding your partner and avoiding sex.
28:01
Speaker 1: I mean, like a sex therapist, someone you couldn't sit
28:04
Speaker 1: down with and actually have an honest, open conversation so
28:07
Speaker 1: that this is a more even playing field because you're
28:10
Speaker 1: just going to play the avoidance game. You're gonna try
28:12
Speaker 1: and be asleep before he gets in the room. You're
28:14
Speaker 1: gonna do all of thee And I agree with you, Chelsea,
28:19
Speaker 1: because I feel like what happens is you're going to
28:21
Speaker 1: start to resent him for something that could actually be managed,
28:25
Speaker 1: and so I think What it really comes down to
28:27
Speaker 1: is you need to figure out how many times a
28:29
Speaker 1: week would you want to have sex, and then you
28:32
Speaker 1: need to go from there. Of like, if you number one,
28:34
Speaker 1: are enjoying your sex life, that's great. Also you don't
28:36
Speaker 1: have to tell us, But like, if you're not, that's
28:38
Speaker 1: also another whole thing. When you're having sex, if he's
28:41
Speaker 1: actually pleasuring you, Also, how is the sex Like is
28:44
Speaker 1: he doing any for play? Are you having an orgasm
28:46
Speaker 1: when you're actually having sex? Like is it just about
28:49
Speaker 1: him going to poundtown and then like splooging in four
28:51
Speaker 1: seconds and you're like, well that wasn't fun. Like I
28:53
Speaker 1: think you need to look inward and figure out what
28:56
Speaker 1: ways are you being pleasured in the actual moment, And
28:59
Speaker 1: also is it at all exciting? Is it, like now
29:02
Speaker 1: just a chore. If it's just a chore, I agree,
29:04
Speaker 1: you got you gotta switch it up, and you have
29:06
Speaker 1: to talk to him about it, honestly, tell him to masturbate,
29:09
Speaker 1: Like jack Off, we've been there. His quote now is
29:13
Speaker 1: like is this for a two or for one? There
29:16
Speaker 1: was a period when I was like, hey, if you
29:17
Speaker 1: feel that you need to and I clearly am doing
29:20
Speaker 1: my own thing. Just go and he'll be like, is
29:24
Speaker 1: this for tour? For one? And I actually thought that
29:25
Speaker 1: was sweet, and sometimes I'd say for two. Yes, definitely
29:29
Speaker 1: have tried that for sure and it kind of worked
29:31
Speaker 1: for a while. Okay, and do you enjoy the sex
29:34
Speaker 1: when you have it? Yes? But that's I think that's
29:36
Speaker 1: actually what led to him maybe taking different approaches in
29:40
Speaker 1: the same evening, let's say, because he knows that it's
29:43
Speaker 1: always the best time, and I, you know, afterwards, you're
29:46
Speaker 1: so google Gaga and I have been in the spot
29:49
Speaker 1: where I almost felt bad, like why didn't I want
29:52
Speaker 1: to do this? When I end up enjoying it so much?
29:54
Speaker 1: But it's because prior I don't really feel that I
29:59
Speaker 1: need it, you know. Afterwards, I'm like, why wouldn't you?
30:02
Speaker 1: You're in love with this man. It's the best time.
30:04
Speaker 1: He knows what you like. I'm kind of fighting myself here,
30:07
Speaker 1: and then he's like trying all these different ways. I
30:11
Speaker 1: don't know. I think that when you're talking about this,
30:14
Speaker 1: it makes me think that you have to hold strong
30:17
Speaker 1: for yourself in moments. Of course, maybe you're going to
30:20
Speaker 1: enjoy it in the moment, but it started out with
30:22
Speaker 1: you were not in the mood you did not want
30:23
Speaker 1: to have sex, and so I think that what you
30:25
Speaker 1: can do, even though it may be very un sexy,
30:27
Speaker 1: like if it's a Monday, you had a hard day
30:29
Speaker 1: of work, whatever reason it is, you should literally say, babe,
30:33
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, not in the mood today, not
30:35
Speaker 1: in the mood. And so when he tries to pressure
30:38
Speaker 1: you and be like come on, like whatever, just be like, hey,
30:40
Speaker 1: not today, maybe tomorrow. So it's almost like say no
30:43
Speaker 1: and then whether you have to literally remove yourself and
30:45
Speaker 1: move to the other side of the couch or the bed.
30:47
Speaker 1: But I think it's it's starting with yourself and creating
30:50
Speaker 1: boundaries for yourself that will allow you then to feel
30:53
Speaker 1: better about your decision when you actually do have sex,
30:55
Speaker 1: because it was on your turf. Right now, it's all
30:58
Speaker 1: on his time and he's just kind of put wishing
31:00
Speaker 1: to see if you'll you'll be down. And I think
31:02
Speaker 1: if you start saying absolutely not like not in the mood,
31:05
Speaker 1: love you, nothing wrong with you, just not in the mood,
31:07
Speaker 1: not tonight, maybe tomorrow, I think it will allow you
31:10
Speaker 1: to feel better that you actually stopped it instead of
31:12
Speaker 1: it being like this wishwashy in between, like maybe it'll
31:15
Speaker 1: happen tonight if I like get her in the mood enough,
31:18
Speaker 1: like just create a hard line, yeah, and explain it
31:21
Speaker 1: to him in terms that he can understand that it's
31:23
Speaker 1: not so much fun to be chased all the time.
31:25
Speaker 1: You sometimes want to be the initiator, and he's gonna
31:28
Speaker 1: respect that, and he's gonna like that. I mean, how
31:31
Speaker 1: sexy is it if he gives you enough space that
31:33
Speaker 1: you are the one initiating, going and sitting on his
31:36
Speaker 1: lap at night and being like all over him, like
31:38
Speaker 1: let's go. He's gonna love that. What if you literally
31:41
Speaker 1: do this? What if you say, whoever initiated last, can't
31:45
Speaker 1: initiate next? I love that? You know what I did
31:49
Speaker 1: last weekend? I told him. I was like, hey, can
31:52
Speaker 1: you when I'm going to initiate, can you just tell
31:55
Speaker 1: me like, hey, baby, not right now? Can you give
31:57
Speaker 1: me a couple of minutes? Like I wanted to feel
31:59
Speaker 1: like just because I initiated, he didn't bounce, And when
32:02
Speaker 1: I tell you that got made hot and bothered. He
32:04
Speaker 1: was like, can you wait a moment? Okay? So I
32:09
Speaker 1: think that's it. It's you literally almost implemented games. So
32:12
Speaker 1: it's like sorry, hot and I'm sorry. I'm getting she
32:16
Speaker 1: haskey came in here today with monkey pox. I not
32:20
Speaker 1: do that, and she has no respect for you. I
32:22
Speaker 1: think this is it. I think this is it. You
32:24
Speaker 1: like the game, you want the chase, you want to
32:26
Speaker 1: feel like you sometimes can be in control. I think
32:29
Speaker 1: that's the end of it, is that you have an
32:31
Speaker 1: initiating game. Whoever initiated last now can initiate. I'm up.
32:36
Speaker 1: I love it. You're gonna be great. Yeah, this is good.
32:44
Speaker 1: This is good. One thing that I'll say as well,
32:47
Speaker 1: like looking farther down the road, because you know, you've
32:50
Speaker 1: been with this guy for four years, you love him,
32:51
Speaker 1: you're looking for a future with him. I don't think
32:54
Speaker 1: it's something that will destroy your marriage if you guys
32:57
Speaker 1: get married one day. I've been in a long marriage.
33:00
Speaker 1: We have had fluctuating like who wants it more? When
33:04
Speaker 1: I used to be the one who wanted it way
33:06
Speaker 1: more than he did, and I would get super hurt
33:08
Speaker 1: when he didn't want it when I wanted it. So like,
33:10
Speaker 1: I get that perspective as well. But you know, and
33:12
Speaker 1: it's like you're always being chased down. I will say,
33:15
Speaker 1: as you get closer to your thirties and he does
33:18
Speaker 1: as well. You may find that, like his levels come
33:20
Speaker 1: down a little bit and yours go up, and you
33:23
Speaker 1: meet kind of in the middle because you know, there's
33:26
Speaker 1: great to look forward to. Yeah, I know, you guys,
33:29
Speaker 1: just yeah, you gave me something to look forward to.
33:31
Speaker 1: And I know he even just the idea that that
33:33
Speaker 1: could be to be a potential. He will love that
33:36
Speaker 1: and give me time. Don't worry. Yeah, your thirties will
33:41
Speaker 1: be great for sex. I promise that's awesome. Thank you,
33:47
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you so much. I can't wait
33:48
Speaker 1: to talk to him about this. To you, you're so cute.
33:51
Speaker 1: I love it. Bye bye, bye bye. She's the cutest
33:55
Speaker 1: person who ever laid your eyes on. Yeah, that was
33:57
Speaker 1: really good advice. Yeah, that's up our fay to go well.
34:05
Speaker 1: Our next colar is Sandra Sandra. Sandra Sandy usually very private,
34:11
Speaker 1: so you guys, let's keep this one under wraps. She says.
34:14
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty year old female and I've
34:17
Speaker 1: been dating my forty five year old boyfriend for almost
34:19
Speaker 1: a year. I recently found out that he has visited
34:22
Speaker 1: escorts in the not so distant past. I found this
34:25
Speaker 1: out because I looked at his text messages. I know
34:28
Speaker 1: this isn't a good habit, and I'm likely just looking
34:30
Speaker 1: for ways to feel betrayed. But I'm working on this
34:33
Speaker 1: with my therapist. I've looked once before and was honest
34:35
Speaker 1: with him about it, and it definitely affected our trust
34:38
Speaker 1: with each other. Our trust has since recovered, I guess,
34:41
Speaker 1: until I chose to look again this time. I found
34:44
Speaker 1: text messages of him making appointments to hire an escort,
34:47
Speaker 1: and I should mention this is before they were together.
34:50
Speaker 1: He was also specifically asking for certain women, so I
34:52
Speaker 1: think that it was not a one time thing. The
34:55
Speaker 1: most recent text was seven months before we started dating.
34:58
Speaker 1: A little context, he's divorced man who was married for
35:01
Speaker 1: thirteen years and says that they would go years at
35:04
Speaker 1: a time without having sex and this was a big
35:06
Speaker 1: factor in their separation. He also disclosed to me in
35:09
Speaker 1: the first month we were dating that he had cheated
35:11
Speaker 1: on his ex wife with a stripper while he was
35:13
Speaker 1: really drunk. He said he told his ex wife right
35:16
Speaker 1: away and felt horrible and thought I should know upfront.
35:19
Speaker 1: He has now been divorced for three years, but when
35:21
Speaker 1: he hired these most recent escorts. He was in and
35:24
Speaker 1: out of casual and more serious relationships, so I don't
35:27
Speaker 1: think it was out of a lack of intimacy like
35:29
Speaker 1: he'd previously felt in his marriage. He's also sober now,
35:32
Speaker 1: so he can't blame being a drunk either. Our relationship
35:35
Speaker 1: has honestly been great so far. Any hard conversation we've
35:38
Speaker 1: had has made us stronger, and he's been a loving
35:40
Speaker 1: and supportive partner. Now I don't know what I should
35:43
Speaker 1: do with this information, or even how to feel about it.
35:45
Speaker 1: I worried that there are some fucked up power dynamics
35:48
Speaker 1: involved in why he chose to sleep with those escorts,
35:50
Speaker 1: but I also recognized it was in his past before
35:53
Speaker 1: me and I found out this information by looking through
35:55
Speaker 1: his things. Update from Sandra her boyfriend is soon going
35:59
Speaker 1: to be visiting Thailand, so there's some time sensitivity here.
36:03
Speaker 1: Hi Sandra, Hey, Hi guys. How are you Hi? Good? Good?
36:08
Speaker 1: How are you doing? This is a deep one I
36:12
Speaker 1: think reading that, I I feel a couple of things.
36:15
Speaker 1: I think number one, you can find some solace in
36:19
Speaker 1: the fact that everything you found predated your relationship. I
36:23
Speaker 1: actually appreciated that you also noted that he had told
36:27
Speaker 1: his ex wife immediately after something had happened. So it
36:31
Speaker 1: feels like the first step is that he is has
36:34
Speaker 1: no issue being very open and honest in communication, even
36:37
Speaker 1: if it means he sucked up. So we're we're already
36:39
Speaker 1: operating on a good playing field. Because when you have
36:42
Speaker 1: a compulsive liar or someone that's going to constantly be
36:45
Speaker 1: hiding things, that's where it gets really tricky. The issue
36:48
Speaker 1: is is if he was doing this in his past,
36:50
Speaker 1: there's no saying that he wasn't going to be doing
36:52
Speaker 1: it now in your relationship. And the issue again is
36:56
Speaker 1: that you found this by snooping, and so you can't
36:59
Speaker 1: be like, hey, like I found this, I'm wondering if
37:02
Speaker 1: you're doing it to me, because then he can be like,
37:05
Speaker 1: you invaded my privacy and I have never done that
37:07
Speaker 1: with you because we're in a committed relationship. So I
37:09
Speaker 1: see why you're kind of in a pickle. I think
37:12
Speaker 1: what it comes down to is if you can't trust
37:14
Speaker 1: your partner, you have a huge issue. And I don't
37:17
Speaker 1: know if I would personally be in a relationship where
37:19
Speaker 1: I constantly was wondering and stressing out. I've been in
37:23
Speaker 1: those relationships, so I think that if I were you,
37:26
Speaker 1: I would nip it in the butt so that you're
37:28
Speaker 1: not wasting time and you may have to throw yourself
37:30
Speaker 1: under the bus a little bit. Because wait, let me
37:32
Speaker 1: actually ask you. How did you know he told his
37:34
Speaker 1: ex wife He told me perfect, Yeah, first month that
37:38
Speaker 1: we were dating, he immediately told me that information without
37:43
Speaker 1: me having to ask. Perfect I did actually, because I
37:46
Speaker 1: had said in my letter that I have trouble keeping
37:50
Speaker 1: anything inside. I'm very easy to read. He would know
37:53
Speaker 1: something was wrong. I told him two days ago that
37:56
Speaker 1: I looked through his stuff because he's he's currently in
37:59
Speaker 1: Thailand right now. And what did he say? He basically said,
38:03
Speaker 1: I didn't really ask all the questions that I feel
38:07
Speaker 1: like maybe I wanted to, because I wasn't really sure
38:10
Speaker 1: even what my questions were because I don't know how
38:13
Speaker 1: I'm feeling about it. But he just said, yes, he
38:15
Speaker 1: had done that in the past before me, and he
38:20
Speaker 1: just wishes that I hadn't looked through his stuff and
38:23
Speaker 1: that he hopes that it doesn't change my perception of him.
38:27
Speaker 1: But I didn't ask too much more. He didn't give
38:30
Speaker 1: any opinions or feelings or have you done this in
38:34
Speaker 1: previous relationships look through your partner's phone. Not no, not really.
38:40
Speaker 1: I mean I guess I had before in my last
38:44
Speaker 1: serious relationship, and that's where I think a lot of
38:47
Speaker 1: these trust issues came from to these struggles with drug addictions.
38:51
Speaker 1: So there was also a lot of that too, where
38:54
Speaker 1: I was trying to see, like is he lying to
38:56
Speaker 1: me about currently using too? So it was its whole
38:59
Speaker 1: other or like monster in itself. Yeah, but our biggest
39:03
Speaker 1: mistakes are bringing our old relationships into our new relationships
39:06
Speaker 1: because there's always going to be somebody that did something
39:09
Speaker 1: disrespectful or they lied, or they cheated or whatever they did.
39:12
Speaker 1: But it is your job, as part of your evolutionary
39:15
Speaker 1: growth into becoming more of the person that you're meant
39:18
Speaker 1: to become, is to stop those patterns. You looking through
39:22
Speaker 1: his phone has garnered you no knowledge at all because
39:25
Speaker 1: he volunteered some of this information to you. The fact
39:28
Speaker 1: that he went and got escorts, who gives a ship.
39:31
Speaker 1: That's he's a single guy, He's allowed to do whatever
39:33
Speaker 1: the funk he wants. Those are sex workers that you know.
39:35
Speaker 1: It's that doesn't have any impact on your relationship. I
39:38
Speaker 1: would really beseech you to not look through your partner's
39:42
Speaker 1: phone unless you have a real fucking reason. It is
39:45
Speaker 1: a very toxic thing to do, and it will completely
39:49
Speaker 1: disassemble a relationship when you do that, because you're going
39:52
Speaker 1: to find something to bring up. You're going to find something,
39:55
Speaker 1: and without that trust, it's almost like you have no
39:58
Speaker 1: foundation when you pick up someone else's phone to look
40:00
Speaker 1: through their stuff, you know, without a real reason, without
40:04
Speaker 1: something really concrete to go Wait a second, something fishy
40:07
Speaker 1: is happening here. You know, it's none of your business
40:09
Speaker 1: what's in his phone. It's not And in order to
40:12
Speaker 1: have a real, loving relationship, there has to be respect
40:15
Speaker 1: and trust, and you have to stop doing that. I agree,
40:19
Speaker 1: and I think, listen, you can't go back. So let's
40:22
Speaker 1: just stay. You went went through his phone, and I
40:25
Speaker 1: think clearly whether it was from your past relationship, that's
40:28
Speaker 1: why you did it, because you've trust issues, or you
40:30
Speaker 1: also had a weird feeling about your partner. Now number one,
40:33
Speaker 1: that's an indicator you're not in a healthy relationship if
40:36
Speaker 1: you don't trust your partner. But let's say, now, okay,
40:38
Speaker 1: you look through the phone, you brought it up to him.
40:40
Speaker 1: My advice would be that you have a follow up
40:42
Speaker 1: phone call like FaceTime him and be like, Hey, I've
40:45
Speaker 1: been thinking and I want to first apologize because I
40:49
Speaker 1: feel really shitty that I went through your phone, and
40:52
Speaker 1: I will admit part of that is on me and
40:54
Speaker 1: my baggage and my trust issues of I I did
40:57
Speaker 1: that in a past relationship and I found ship that
40:59
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see, and so it almost like
41:02
Speaker 1: reinforced that I should look through because I'm going to
41:04
Speaker 1: find the hurt and I'm gonna find out the truth
41:06
Speaker 1: that you're lying to me. What I want to say
41:08
Speaker 1: is this, I want this relationship to work, and I
41:11
Speaker 1: want to better myself, and I want to be honest
41:13
Speaker 1: with you. I promise to never look through your stuff again.
41:17
Speaker 1: I think all I can ask though from you, because
41:20
Speaker 1: it did make me a little insecure to see what
41:22
Speaker 1: you've may be done in the past, that if you're
41:24
Speaker 1: having any type of feelings or desires or your feel
41:28
Speaker 1: like anything, just talk to me, because I would rather
41:32
Speaker 1: you be honest with me than me regret now trusting
41:36
Speaker 1: you and telling you I'm not going to ever look
41:37
Speaker 1: through your stuff again and then you go and cheat.
41:39
Speaker 1: So I think if we can just have an open communication,
41:42
Speaker 1: but I'll be honest, it made me insecure and I
41:44
Speaker 1: want to own it because I hate how I'm feeling
41:46
Speaker 1: right now, and I just want to tell you that
41:48
Speaker 1: I think he'll really respect that you're owning your ship.
41:51
Speaker 1: But you're also asking, like, hey, meet me a little
41:54
Speaker 1: bit in the middle, because I've got some trust issues
41:57
Speaker 1: and I want this to work, but I also don't
41:59
Speaker 1: want to feel out like I'm going to get sucked
42:01
Speaker 1: over for trusting you. And hopefully, if it's a good relationship,
42:05
Speaker 1: he'll reassure you and be like, I haven't done this
42:08
Speaker 1: because I'm in love with you, and I don't need
42:11
Speaker 1: an escort right now because I'm with you, And so
42:14
Speaker 1: I think hopefully you'll get the answer you want. But
42:16
Speaker 1: I will say if he doesn't give you a reassuring
42:18
Speaker 1: answer and he's like, yeah, sure, I get like, then
42:21
Speaker 1: you also have to look internally of what do you
42:23
Speaker 1: need in a relationship to feel fulfilled and maybe he
42:25
Speaker 1: doesn't have the same type of attachment styles, etcetera to
42:29
Speaker 1: make you feel secure in a relationship. Yeah, and this
42:32
Speaker 1: guy went out of his way, you know, a month
42:34
Speaker 1: in when you guys are just getting to know each
42:36
Speaker 1: other to like spill all his ship to you, Like
42:39
Speaker 1: he was super upfront with that stuff, So like this
42:41
Speaker 1: isn't even the guy. I think you need to be
42:43
Speaker 1: looking at his phone right like he's he's giving it
42:45
Speaker 1: all to you already. Something that might help shift your
42:48
Speaker 1: perspective a little bit on just like maybe feeling kind
42:51
Speaker 1: of weird about like his hired sex workers. Private Parts
42:54
Speaker 1: Unknown as a podcast and they did an episode. It's
42:57
Speaker 1: two women who host it, and they did an EPI
43:00
Speaker 1: said where they were out of the country somewhere where
43:01
Speaker 1: it's legal, and they visited messours who did happy endings.
43:06
Speaker 1: They both got happy endings. They have gotten approval from
43:09
Speaker 1: their partners to do this, and it really shifted my
43:12
Speaker 1: perspective on like what that experience is really like. But
43:15
Speaker 1: it might be worth a lesson just to help you
43:17
Speaker 1: serve some clarity. Yeah, good advice. Yeah yeah yeah, because
43:21
Speaker 1: that's definitely I'm happy with the direction that the call went.
43:25
Speaker 1: That it's keeping myself in check and and looking like
43:29
Speaker 1: inward at at the mistakes I've made in this. But
43:32
Speaker 1: that's definitely also one of the reasons I had written
43:35
Speaker 1: into it is just like my general feelings and like
43:38
Speaker 1: confusion over how I'm feeling, and I've definitely been trying
43:41
Speaker 1: to do more research into it and ask people who
43:45
Speaker 1: have maybe experienced this before and how they chose to
43:48
Speaker 1: see it. I think, listen, I think it really does
43:51
Speaker 1: come down to insecurity, and I I can relate. It's
43:53
Speaker 1: almost the same as when you see the current boyfriend
43:56
Speaker 1: you have or your partner whoever you see their X
43:59
Speaker 1: and you're like pairing yourself and you're stressing out and
44:02
Speaker 1: oh my god, am I not enough? And am I
44:03
Speaker 1: as good in the bedroom? All that stuff. You have
44:06
Speaker 1: to find a lot of this could be fixed by
44:09
Speaker 1: you actually focusing on yourself and taking the focus off
44:11
Speaker 1: of him, work on yourself. Are you insecure about yourself?
44:15
Speaker 1: What do you think is triggering you so much about this?
44:18
Speaker 1: And that actually should give you some power back of like,
44:21
Speaker 1: if you feel good, if you are reading the signs correctly,
44:24
Speaker 1: if you are not being shady, if you're being honest
44:26
Speaker 1: in this relationship and you feel like it's being given
44:29
Speaker 1: back to you, that's all you have to worry about.
44:31
Speaker 1: And then your own baggage you should deal with on
44:33
Speaker 1: the side and not let it affect your new relationship. Yeah, totally,
44:38
Speaker 1: thank you, but no more looking through his phone. No, no, no, no,
44:43
Speaker 1: it's a bad habit. I need to stop. Yeah, I'll
44:47
Speaker 1: call him probably, And also I'm going to Thailand with
44:50
Speaker 1: him in a week. I'm hoping. Yeah, some good conversations there. Yeah,
44:56
Speaker 1: good conversations give him the benefit of the doubt. And
44:58
Speaker 1: also when you operate out of like a higher level
45:01
Speaker 1: of existence by not reducing yourself to going through his phone,
45:04
Speaker 1: you're going to get a different energetic reaction from him
45:07
Speaker 1: as well. It's not hot when somebody's paranoid, that's not sexy. Yeah,
45:13
Speaker 1: you got a good dude, So let us know how
45:15
Speaker 1: it goes. And if you have a deeper conversation with him,
45:17
Speaker 1: and maybe this can lead to and maybe you can
45:19
Speaker 1: enjoy your own escort. And I know, honestly, I started
45:25
Speaker 1: like looking at I just wanted to look up profiles online.
45:29
Speaker 1: Keep an open mind. Maybe you guys can thrickle up. Yeah,
45:32
Speaker 1: like who's doing this and who are these people available?
45:35
Speaker 1: The world is your oyster? All right? Thanks Sandra guy,
45:41
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye. She's gonna enjoy her happy ending massage
45:45
Speaker 1: in Thailand. I might just go to Thailand for that
45:48
Speaker 1: massage because I wouldn't mind. I mean, I was had
45:50
Speaker 1: a friend who told us some MASSU said Bicara went
45:53
Speaker 1: down on her and I was like what, I'm like,
45:56
Speaker 1: that happens to women, and she's like yeah, yeah. All
45:59
Speaker 1: of a sudden was just like fiddling with me. And
46:01
Speaker 1: then he asked if it was okay for him to
46:03
Speaker 1: go down on me, and I was like, I want
46:06
Speaker 1: that mosture. I'm open to any sort of that kind
46:09
Speaker 1: of action during a massage, like if you want to
46:12
Speaker 1: go down, I mean, I have no fucking problem with that.
46:14
Speaker 1: F y I for all the messiuses that are out here. Well,
46:21
Speaker 1: our last question comes from a She says, Dear Chelsea,
46:25
Speaker 1: I need your help finding the right way to exit
46:27
Speaker 1: a group chat. This chat consists of nine of my
46:30
Speaker 1: college friends were now in our mid thirties. The chat
46:32
Speaker 1: started a few years ago and used to be fun,
46:34
Speaker 1: but has devolved into mostly a few people going back
46:37
Speaker 1: and forth about their own personal circumstances. What one husband
46:40
Speaker 1: did that's annoying, what one person's kid made at camp,
46:43
Speaker 1: or what kind of cosmetics someone tried out. There's never
46:46
Speaker 1: anything substantial or frankly interesting. I should add that I
46:50
Speaker 1: don't think I've been personally addressed in the chat for
46:52
Speaker 1: at least a year. Most of the banter that takes
46:54
Speaker 1: place will happen in the middle of the work day,
46:56
Speaker 1: and I work full time, so the messages are very disruptive.
47:00
Speaker 1: I muted it a long time ago, but of course
47:01
Speaker 1: when I opened my messages and say there's eighty nine
47:04
Speaker 1: on red texts, I either feel guilty or mean by
47:06
Speaker 1: clicking open and just clear the inbox, or I end
47:09
Speaker 1: up reading the messages out of guilt and regret doing
47:12
Speaker 1: so once I've wasted my time and brain space to
47:14
Speaker 1: do so. I'm currently only close with one girl in
47:17
Speaker 1: the chat. By the way, she hates it too. I
47:20
Speaker 1: really want to leave the chat. No one will miss
47:21
Speaker 1: my presence because I barely reply as it is, But
47:24
Speaker 1: I know that by leaving it comes off as rude
47:26
Speaker 1: and mean. How do I do this? I don't dislike anyone,
47:29
Speaker 1: and I don't want to offend anyone. Thanks A Oh,
47:34
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would say, I was going to
47:35
Speaker 1: say mute them, but then you have still have it
47:38
Speaker 1: in your in box. I think when you have something
47:41
Speaker 1: that's annoying you in your life, and the fact that
47:44
Speaker 1: you said no one's going to miss you leave that ship,
47:47
Speaker 1: and the fact that you also had the one person
47:49
Speaker 1: that you care about also hates it. The two of
47:51
Speaker 1: you leave together, be like five, six, seven eight, pressed
47:55
Speaker 1: the button and get the funk out of there. I
47:57
Speaker 1: just feel like when you get to a certain point
47:59
Speaker 1: in your life, esp actually, if you're not in college
48:01
Speaker 1: and you're surrounded by like groups of people that you
48:03
Speaker 1: have to see every day, who if something is not
48:06
Speaker 1: making you happy and it's annoying you and it actually
48:08
Speaker 1: makes you feel worse about yourself, goodbye. Yeah, And you
48:10
Speaker 1: can also just preface it if you really want to
48:13
Speaker 1: like feel good about it, being like, hey, guys, I'm sorry,
48:15
Speaker 1: I'm going to exit this chat now. I have so
48:17
Speaker 1: much work to do during the day. It's become kind
48:19
Speaker 1: of a distraction. Just make up some bullshit. If you
48:22
Speaker 1: don't want to, just say so and so, you know,
48:24
Speaker 1: because it comes up so and so exited the group.
48:27
Speaker 1: From my personal experience, I've exited so many groups and
48:30
Speaker 1: just said I'm leaving now goodbye without any explanation, and
48:34
Speaker 1: I have to tell you it is and own us
48:36
Speaker 1: off your back. I don't want to deal with all
48:37
Speaker 1: that ship. So I mean, you're you should just get
48:40
Speaker 1: out of it. And if you want to do it nicely,
48:42
Speaker 1: do it nicely. And if you want to just leave it,
48:43
Speaker 1: leave it. Who cares. It's not a huge life decision,
48:46
Speaker 1: just you know, make your life a little bit more simpler.
48:49
Speaker 1: I also think that if you're feeling this way, a
48:53
Speaker 1: lot of people in that group chat are feeling this way.
48:55
Speaker 1: The fact that it's been lingering for years and people
48:58
Speaker 1: are like, it's like dusty comments of like hey, guys,
49:01
Speaker 1: like got back from walking the kid and like me
49:04
Speaker 1: and my husband haven't had sex in three months, like
49:06
Speaker 1: any like get the funk out of here. Just I
49:08
Speaker 1: think you should leave or I agree, just like leave
49:09
Speaker 1: a little note like super busy, wish you all the best,
49:12
Speaker 1: like love you, guys. This line is for work. Calls
49:17
Speaker 1: love you by pizza, and then your other friend can
49:19
Speaker 1: leave and the other six girls who are not the
49:21
Speaker 1: three girls who keep totally totally well, there you go.
49:25
Speaker 1: A it is Alexandra. You're not your full name. It
49:28
Speaker 1: is Alexander. Would be so funny if it wasn't, and
49:30
Speaker 1: I just kept calling you know it is Okay, We're
49:32
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back
49:38
Speaker 1: and we're back. All right, Well we're here to wrap up.
49:41
Speaker 1: But Alex, do you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea? Oh,
49:44
Speaker 1: my gosh, I actually think we can expand a little
49:48
Speaker 1: bit on I know you started Chelsea Lately and it
49:50
Speaker 1: was gossip and celebrities and obviously comedy, and then as
49:54
Speaker 1: your career progressed, you started getting vocal about things that
49:59
Speaker 1: mattered and that you can aired about. And I can
50:01
Speaker 1: assume that there were some people probably that were like,
50:03
Speaker 1: stay in your lane, bitch, just make us laugh and
50:05
Speaker 1: shut the funk up. I love say that's so casually.
50:08
Speaker 1: I like, that's the exact quotes that I've been getting lately.
50:11
Speaker 1: How did you handle that? And like did it? Did it?
50:14
Speaker 1: Do you think it affected your career in any way? Well,
50:17
Speaker 1: when I got really political, yeah, I'm sure it had
50:19
Speaker 1: a negative impact on my career because people I was
50:21
Speaker 1: when when Trump got elected, I just could not I
50:24
Speaker 1: was just at my I just lost it, Like I mean,
50:27
Speaker 1: I was so angry that this country could elect such
50:29
Speaker 1: a buffoon that I couldn't deal with it. And I'm
50:32
Speaker 1: sure that it did have a negative impact on my
50:34
Speaker 1: career because my manager told me, you're ruining your career,
50:38
Speaker 1: but I didn't care because you know, I I believe
50:41
Speaker 1: in myself and I knew that this was more important
50:44
Speaker 1: to me. That was the most paramount thing. People still
50:47
Speaker 1: say that to me today, People still say, oh, you
50:49
Speaker 1: used to be funny before you got into politics. It's like, bitch,
50:51
Speaker 1: I have a special coming out in December. It's fucking
50:54
Speaker 1: and I just got nominated for a Grammy for my
50:56
Speaker 1: last special, So I'm still fucking funny. How So, I
50:59
Speaker 1: actually am multidimensional and I can care about a million
51:02
Speaker 1: different things at the same time, and I would challenge
51:04
Speaker 1: you to do the fucking same thing. Instead of thinking
51:06
Speaker 1: that people are here for one purpose and one purpose only,
51:09
Speaker 1: we have a multitude of things to offer, and everybody's multidimensional.
51:14
Speaker 1: And whenever I see comments like that now, it just
51:16
Speaker 1: makes me want to be louder about the things. Negative
51:20
Speaker 1: comments about me are irrelevant. They're just irrelevant. I've spent
51:24
Speaker 1: too much time in the public eye to let that
51:27
Speaker 1: affect me. I'm not here for the people that don't
51:29
Speaker 1: like me. I'm here for the people that do. I
51:31
Speaker 1: love that because I obviously look up to you so much,
51:34
Speaker 1: and I have been obviously lightly stepping into just talking
51:38
Speaker 1: about things that matter. My first thing was literally human rights,
51:41
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, what the fucky little slut you're getting political?
51:44
Speaker 1: Tell us how to funk a dick, and I'm like,
51:46
Speaker 1: oh my god, like relax. It's so frustrating to see
51:50
Speaker 1: how angry people get when you step out of your lane.
51:53
Speaker 1: And it doesn't fully bother me, but it's more just
51:56
Speaker 1: frustrating to see how closed minded people are and how
52:00
Speaker 1: unable they are to listen to something that actually will
52:02
Speaker 1: fucking affect them. Like the amount of women that were like,
52:05
Speaker 1: why are you getting political? I'm like, do you not
52:07
Speaker 1: want to have an abortion? If you get I don't
52:10
Speaker 1: want the baby? Like, like, what are we up to
52:12
Speaker 1: over here, ladies. It's also such bullshit to be like
52:15
Speaker 1: that's your lane. Your lane is you only get to
52:17
Speaker 1: talk about sex stuff. I don't like that when your
52:19
Speaker 1: lane no one has one lane. That's so limiting. We're
52:23
Speaker 1: not here for one lane. We're swerving. Yeah, yeah, we're swerving.
52:27
Speaker 1: Some of us are on the shoulder, some of us
52:29
Speaker 1: are getting pulled over. You know. We have ton of tones,
52:31
Speaker 1: so many lanes, and that I feel like it's limiting too.
52:34
Speaker 1: I remember Dax and Christen. We were talking about that
52:37
Speaker 1: because Dax is like, just stay in your lane, and
52:39
Speaker 1: I could understand the validity of that because she was
52:42
Speaker 1: comparing herself to other actresses writing different opportunities. But at
52:46
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm like, well, no, that's limiting. None
52:49
Speaker 1: of us have one lane. We all have things to
52:51
Speaker 1: offer and let people. It's important to care about other
52:55
Speaker 1: people than yourself, and I think when you're outspoken about
52:58
Speaker 1: anything political or anything that's happening in society, you are.
53:02
Speaker 1: I feel very responsible and like it's mandatory. I feel
53:06
Speaker 1: that way. So yeah, I just don't Yeah, well, father Cooper,
53:10
Speaker 1: you did a great job today and you're a real
53:13
Speaker 1: solid addition to this PODT Yeah guys, yeah, back. I mean, yeah,
53:19
Speaker 1: we're gonna call you when we have a cancelation and
53:21
Speaker 1: we're just gonna come over to your house. Are you
53:23
Speaker 1: still living in that house that I came to you?
53:25
Speaker 1: I'm not good I'm doing. You came when I hadn't
53:28
Speaker 1: have a pocket spot. I was like, do you have
53:29
Speaker 1: a driveway? She's like not really, Like what I had nothing?
53:33
Speaker 1: I was mortified. And you would sit on the couch
53:35
Speaker 1: and you couldn't get comfortable and you were in your
53:37
Speaker 1: dress the whole thing. No, I'm I have a different place.
53:40
Speaker 1: Now you should come over, you should come on, call
53:41
Speaker 1: her daddy. Let's do it. Let's do it. Be so fun.
53:44
Speaker 1: Everyone loves you. When you came on, it was, it
53:46
Speaker 1: was amazing. Well, this will be an even better interview
53:48
Speaker 1: now that I know who you are. You will high
53:50
Speaker 1: or you will together. Yeah, let's do it it Okay,
53:59
Speaker 1: thank you Alex Cooper. We love you. Thank you guys,
54:02
Speaker 1: Thanks Catherine. Thanks, don't forget to watch my special on Netflix.
54:07
Speaker 1: You guys revolution. It's a revolution. So if you'd like
54:11
Speaker 1: advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at Dear
54:14
Speaker 1: Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a
54:18
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stuff,
54:22
Speaker 1: produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.