Latest / Mommywood / 'Oceans 8' while pregnant, 'Scenes from a Marriage' with her daughter, and host of Mom Curious podcast - Daniella Rabbani

Transcript

'Oceans 8' while pregnant, 'Scenes from a Marriage' with her daughter, and host of Mom Curious podcast - Daniella Rabbani · Mommywood

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Mom. Hey, I'm your host, Emily Bolt.
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I'm an actor, teacher, and a new mom.
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Once I became pregnant, I went on a hunt for answers to all my
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questions about being a working actor mom.
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And what did I find? Practically nothing.
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So here I am asking all the questions to try to figure out
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how people do it. How are mothers balancing and
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not balancing parenthood in this crazy industry?
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Join me and my amazing guest as we take a real look into the
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lives of working moms in the entertainment industry.
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On today's episode of Mommywood, I'm talking to Daniela Robani
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and she is incredible. First of all, you have to check
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out her podcast called Mom Curious.
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It's so. Fantastic.
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And you definitely have to listen to it.
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Listen to all the episodes, follow her on Instagram.
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She has such great guests and such interesting topics that she
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talks about and getting everyone's different opinions,
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different experiences. It's it's just so great on on
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this episode we talk about. Her life as an artist and a mom
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of two in Brooklyn, NY, and we talk about how she says her
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children have never stopped her from growing her career.
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And I love that so much. Because of course, that is one
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of the biggest fears that women have when trying to decide if we
1:47
want to start a family or not feeling like we're going to.
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Become so far behind in our careers or we're going to have
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to take breaks and all of these. Fears that are a lot of the time
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is really unwarranted, their fears of things that haven't
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taken place yet. So to hear her say that her
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career has never stopped growing, especially because of
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her kids, was really great. She also talked about how she
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doesn't have to lose her edge. Because she's a mom.
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And how her art keeps deepening, which I think is also something
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that we forget that could happen to us once becoming once we
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become a parent. That we as artists can deepen
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our creative sides once we're becoming, once we become
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parents. Because, you know, we've we have
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this love now, these deeper feelings that we've never had
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before, so it can only expand us and instead of limit us.
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One of my favorite things that she says in this episode is that
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once she became a mom, she was experienced.
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She was experiencing herself being the same.
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And which? Really resonated with me because
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I always say that I feel exactly the same as I did before.
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I'm not one of those moms who's like, I don't remember life
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before her. I feel like I'm a totally
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different person. I feel exactly the same.
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And there's it's end of sentence.
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I mean, it's the and is just so infinite.
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It comes with so much beyond that, but.
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Yes, please enjoy this episode and enjoy the wonderfulness that
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is Daniela Rabani. Hi.
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It's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to meet you.
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I'm so happy to be doing this. What a great idea for a podcast.
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I feel like. I feel like I I also had this
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idea when we're doing it in such different ways.
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Yeah, it's really exciting to like, I don't know.
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It's so exciting to, like, step into your world.
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Thank you for having me. Yeah, of course.
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Thanks for being here. I love that you have like you
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have mom curious podcast which is so interesting.
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And yeah I've loved listening to like to some of your episodes.
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It's so and seeing all your guests and stuff when when I'm
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like ohh I follow her and like. Ohh yeah like The Mummy
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bloggers, yeah. Yeah, cool.
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I'll be like, wait, why do they look familiar?
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Do I know that? Sometimes they're just actors
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and they happen to be moms. So it's like very similar to
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your mission. So you're in, you just said
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you're in Brooklyn. Do you live in Brooklyn?
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Yeah, I live in. I live in Brooklyn.
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I have for the past like 5 years.
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From the West Village. Oh, from the West Village, yeah.
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And you have a boy and a girl, right?
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Yeah, and my son Ness is 6 and my daughter Paz is 3 1/2 Ness.
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And what was the girl's name? Paz, those are so special.
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I have not. Yeah, Ness in Hebrew means
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miracle and Paz is also is originally like a Hebrew name
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because my family is Israeli, but but they were also in this
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like bilingual. Spanish speaking school and so
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Spanish has been a part of our life.
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Just be just through them. And Paz means peace.
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So those are like pretty meaningful names also they're
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just, they're easy to spell. They're like, they're very quick
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to spell their names, like and yeah, like, yeah, I got this.
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Yeah, yeah, totally. Wait and tell me their ages
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again 6. And 3 1/2 Oh wow.
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So, and you've been in Brooklyn for five years, so you moved
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with a baby then? So my son was exactly 1 year old
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because I don't know. I don't know what it's like in
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LA, but in Manhattan, I mean, I guess anywhere in New York, in
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the city, like space is hard to come by.
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So I'm not sure that these days, Brooklyn is any.
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Less expensive, but I think five years ago it definitely was.
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And it's a little more family oriented.
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And still we weren't like interested in leaving the city
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completely like that, just like the suburbs just for us wouldn't
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work. So this was, this was our big
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suburban sort of move. Yeah.
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Where are you from originally? I was born on the Upper West
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Side of Manhattan and yeah, and I was raised in the suburbs in
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on Long Island for like my 10 formative years from 7 to 17.
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But I came back to go to NYU Tish for acting when I was 17
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and I haven't left for the past 21 years.
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So, So you are a New Yorker? I really am such a New Yorker.
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I love it. There I was.
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I lived there only for like a year and a half.
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It seemed like longer. So it's crazy to say that I was
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only there a year and a half because I really loved it.
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But then I just, like came to LA and was like, excuse me, ended
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up like doing more work out here and was like, all right, I guess
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I'll move out here, Who knows. Well, it's really pretty in LA.
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Where are you from originally? I'm from St.
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Louis, MO. There you go.
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Yeah. So you had your options.
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Yeah. And my sister, Yeah, my sister,
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she was on Broadway. So I was like, it's easy to go
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to New York, My sisters. So wow.
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The two of you are actors, Yeah, and.
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Then dress the two of you. Or do you have a middle sister?
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So I have two older sisters and my mom was actually our high
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school drama teacher. And then my yeah, my sister is
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an actor and a singer and my middle the other older sister,
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she was a speech in theater teacher at high school also.
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Oh. My God, that's so special.
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Yeah, we're all and my dad is a watercolor painter.
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But my parents met. Yeah, they met doing a musical
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in college, so it's. It's it was like, literally in
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the stars. Yeah.
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Do you think your daughter's going to be an actress?
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Have you pimped her out for any, like, auditions yet?
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My agents have, like, we never said really yes or no.
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But they've like sent us things for her that is just like do a
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little video of her name and stuff and we've done it, but she
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hasn't gotten anything. And we're just like, I don't, we
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don't care. Yeah, yeah, like if it saves her
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some money, great. If not, like we're definitely if
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she gets to the age, you know, where she can decide or not,
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like right now, she obviously doesn't know the difference.
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She's only 11 months so. But yeah, is your family in the
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arts at all, or were you just like, this is my thing?
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No, I I say, I often say that like I was born into a
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storytelling tradition because I was raised very, you know, like
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religious. I was, I'm Jewish.
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And that sort of lineage is like very heavy on the stories.
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Like we tell the same, We've told the same stories for 3000
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years. And like, if I'm being honest,
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they were they that great? Like were they?
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Awesome story. They're they're fine.
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But like literally word perfect for that long and and you know
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like I think if you're raised in an environment where where like
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ritual and ceremony are like part of your everyday every week
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life, like there's something so theatrical about it.
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So I felt like already I was, you know?
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I was like, in this lineage. My father's a singer.
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He's a jewelry designer. So is my mom.
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My grandmother was a Pearl Stringer.
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So there's some visual art, you know, stuff going on there.
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I I did not inherit any of that. But.
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But I think that that creativity in general was, you know, like
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my parents sold jewelry. Like they they like, you know,
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like made things beautiful for a living.
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You know, and I think, like that was something similar to your
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parents where you're like, oh, this is, this is a job.
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Like being an artist isn't a hobby.
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It can be. But it, you know, this is like a
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monetizable living. I just, like always, could take
11:08
it seriously because I saw, like, that's how creativity is
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like an important part of the human experience, you know?
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Absolutely. Do you think, also growing up in
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New York, did it seem a little bit more attainable or like
11:27
being able to see that people were like legitimate working
11:32
actors? Because yeah.
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Well, yeah, I think right. Because you're like in Saint
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Louis, that doesn't exist. I'm.
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Just thinking, I can see Louis like.
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Yeah, like your mom being a teacher is like, it's beautiful.
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It's such a validating. Both of your parents like being
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artists, I feel like such a validating experience.
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Not everyone has that, but definitely in New York, my
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middle school and high school mentor, you know, drama teacher
12:00
Yesha Gross, he won an Emmy and a Tony like so he and he was the
12:05
guy who would come in and do the plays.
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And I would like, mentor under him and I would assistant
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direct. So I knew that.
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Like, I I knew two things. I knew that like, it's possible.
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And I also knew that, like, it's not always glamorous like one of
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my I always hire babysitters who are actors because I find and I
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know that you nanny before, so you know I and so did I I just
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find actors to be like. More than willing to, like, put
12:35
down their phone and play and be present and like, respect
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children. And you know, one of my last
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babysitters, you know, was nominated for a Tony Award.
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And I knew that experience to be totally normal, totally part of
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the artist's journey. Like, because Yeeshay, my
12:54
mentor, was teaching, you know, middle school and high school
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kids. You know how to act and putting
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on shows and it was a high quality experience but it was
13:05
also a side job. So I I like always I I knew two
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things were were were happening in New York which is it's
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totally possible. It's a real life living and you
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can be super glamorous and it's not always like there's a grind
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and just like any other living, right?
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Yeah. Do you?
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Because I know people have such, like, negative feelings of,
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like, mostly people who aren't in LA or New York.
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The idea of raising kids in like LA and New York, besides the
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fact that it is insanely expensive in both places and it
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is extremely it's just harder than other places money wise.
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But I really appreciate you saying that because not everyone
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is transparent in in conversations, even, you know,
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even on on my podcast, when I like broach the subject of
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money, I feel like actors have a very fluid way of discussing,
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like maybe not how much we're getting paid for a job, but
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we're just like we know that we for for most journeymen, actors
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like, you know, money just doesn't.
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It's not like a huge money making career.
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Like, you know, but a lot of people will sidestep that issue
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that, like actually raising children is very expensive.
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It's very expensive in New York and LA and and that in and of
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itself makes the pursuit of your dreams, your souls calling, that
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much more challenging. For sure.
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Yeah. It's.
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I mean it is because I'm always. It's funny because I'm clearly
14:55
also doing it like I'm living in LA and I.
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Doing it a baby so. You're so doing it and you have
15:02
your own show and you're connecting with other parents
15:06
and you're dispelling shame and you're doing it really
15:11
beautifully. And but I always have the
15:13
question of like, but how are people doing it?
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Like how are you paying for rent and paying for childcare and all
15:23
that without like and it's hard to specifically.
15:26
I'm not going to ask somebody like.
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But you. But it's your show.
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You can ask how much do but but like it is.
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I am curious because with our jobs it's not it's not a nine to
15:40
five, it's not a steady thing. So do you have a certain job
15:49
that's more steady for you? I know that you do a lot of
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voice over. Yeah, yeah.
15:55
So when I this, this was the thing, you know, when I
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graduated from college, I I did. I guess I knew that I wanted to
16:02
be a mom. I think there was a time when I
16:04
didn't. That I just that I like you.
16:07
I know you said this in like your first episode like I wanted
16:11
to get to a certain place in my career and then have children,
16:13
which I think is a totally worthwhile pursuit.
16:16
And then at some point the rubber hits the road and like
16:19
meets the road and you know you're you make a decision
16:21
you're it's either it's either this or it's that.
16:26
For me, I I ended up having my son at 33 and it when I was
16:31
pregnant with him, I was in Ocean's 8.
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You know, when he was less than one year old, I booked my first
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recurring role when I was pregnant with my daughter.
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I got this, like big national commercial with McDonald's.
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Like, it wasn't we. We, my daughter and I, we like,
16:48
did scenes from a marriage together.
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So it's not like, it's not like children ever.
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My children ever stop me from growing my career.
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I I still do concerts and I still do, you know, some plays
17:01
here and there. It wasn't.
17:04
It wasn't hard for me until the pandemic.
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And part of the part of that is because I always had voiceovers
17:12
and when you have enough income, when you have a steady income
17:17
that you enjoy doing right like I would, I I'm in my studio,
17:24
bricks studio. This is like really like my
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bread and butter. It's it's how I got insurance
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for so long and I knew that in that voiceover.
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World Pre Pandemic and I think things have changed quite a lot.
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I would see children all the time.
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I see children and I see dogs. I see babies from three months
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old up until teenagers with their parents at auditions.
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Sometimes we would babysit each other's kids.
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This is for oncamera commercials and for voice over.
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So I was in a in an environment where I knew that, okay, maybe I
17:59
didn't want the responsibility. Maybe I didn't have the the urge
18:03
for children, maybe I didn't have enough money or resources.
18:10
But I knew that I I saw it happen.
18:12
I I watched other people do it for a long time.
18:16
It wasn't until about three years ago when the pandemic hit
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that. I I had two children.
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One was six months old and five months old and one was three.
18:28
It wasn't until then that I really found myself not able to
18:35
field calls and ride on momentum, and I had a hard time
18:43
really adjusting career wise, even voiceover wise.
18:49
Because the industry was changing so rapidly, and so were
18:54
my babies, and so was I. And so I still find myself like
19:00
I don't exactly have my footing. And I I do think part of it is
19:05
because I'm a mother. I I that's the honest truth.
19:08
It's but but it's because the world changed as I was in, in a
19:16
deep metamorphosis, all that at once.
19:20
You were really in the thick of it.
19:23
Yeah. And there was like, no, like the
19:26
thing about the thing about how intense that experience was,
19:29
like, I couldn't quite, you know, I I, I couldn't go to
19:34
those auditions. Like I couldn't leave the nest
19:38
and go to the thing that I that I recognized, which was an
19:41
audition room or, you know, rehearsal space or it was all
19:46
right here in my home or or not happening.
19:49
At all. And I still am like, wait, what
19:54
is what? What's going on?
19:55
Like, there's like, there's like a lot more nonunion stuff going
20:00
on in the voiceover world. We have a writers strike
20:04
happening even like self tapes for me.
20:09
I mean, I did them before, but they're not like I'm like a I'm
20:14
like a New York. Like stage actor, I like, love
20:18
an audience. So, So what I ended up doing was
20:22
similar to you was really just being.
20:24
There was no metaphor anymore. I just had to just be myself.
20:28
I had to be honest, like I actually couldn't fake anything.
20:33
I had to just sit down and talk to another human being and be
20:35
like, hey, so like what's it like for you?
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And that's that's why I started my podcast also.
20:42
So that's a long way. Did did I answer your question?
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I don't know, but I loved. Oh my God.
20:51
Know what my question was at this one?
20:53
No, that's I mean, wow, you were to have a 5 month old and and he
21:04
just turned three. Yeah, he had just turned 3.
21:06
Oh my God, I know. And in New York, yes.
21:12
Oh boy, I can imagine. There was a lot of
21:16
claustrophobia, Yeah, I mean it was claustrophobia and just also
21:22
like just like a not knowing also because like you know, I
21:26
think for many of us are acting is a real soothing force.
21:32
It's a really it's a friend. It's so it's like a it's like a
21:38
whole lover you know and comforter of our souls.
21:44
Like we have this outlet we're so lucky to engage in.
21:50
We really are. And I and and that was gone for
21:53
I don't know how long was that, that lockdown.
21:57
I don't know. Who knows?
22:01
It was a really long time in New York.
22:02
I mean their preschool that they like they aren't there anymore,
22:05
but they just let go of masks 3 weeks ago.
22:10
Oh, wow. I know, I know.
22:13
I think that's like because in New York there was like some
22:15
trauma and they were just like they had.
22:17
They couldn't they. There are still people bust them
22:21
who need to or want to wear masks.
22:22
But we, you know, it was a long time.
22:25
It is a long time. Yeah, I I mean, honestly, I
22:28
still wear my mask well, especially when I go to work
22:33
because I work around children And I yeah, regardless of COVID,
22:39
I'm like. Kids are Germany.
22:41
I'm just going to keep wearing my mask because other teachers
22:44
will get like colds and whatnot from kids and I'm like, I'm just
22:49
and you have a baby. Wearing this, Yeah.
22:52
Yeah. So that's so I I did nanny when
22:57
I was living in New York. And I looking back, I'm like.
23:03
Thinking I'm like, man, how did I like get the stroller down the
23:07
subway? And just like all sorts of
23:09
logistic things where I'm like, oh, how did that work?
23:14
But it's like it just works. So for sometimes it doesn't
23:18
work. That's part of the reason why
23:19
people move. Yeah, that's true.
23:22
But like, what are your pros and cons of living in the city?
23:29
Like, obviously it's. I mean, I can.
23:33
Guess what mine would be in cons.
23:36
There's so many of both I'm sure, but I'm curious as a mom
23:42
and it's like, what your Yeah, cuz I have left no and I and I
23:49
won't, but so many people did in these past few years.
23:54
But I I really like walking and I like wearing my babies.
23:58
So part of, you know, the stroller up and down is not a
24:01
thing for me because I often am just wearing the babies,
24:04
although I'm not going to have another baby anytime soon or
24:07
ever. So that was a really nice
24:10
experience that, you know, I I cherish and so like, I like
24:13
walking around. When Ness my younger, my older
24:17
son, I was born, I would take him to auditions all the time,
24:22
voiceovers and on camera. I wouldn't take him to legit
24:25
auditions because I guess that that would just be bad.
24:28
But I I, I really love the diversity that I experienced
24:37
here in the city. Like, it is so meaningful to me.
24:39
Like, you know, my kids are in a public school and like they get
24:44
to be around all different types of people, all different
24:47
socioeconomic backgrounds, races, cultures, people who
24:51
speak multiple languages, neuro diversity.
24:57
And I feel like I feel so lucky to be in that environment.
25:04
It really means a lot to me. And, you know, they they want
25:09
for nothing, like I always want. You know, my son is very into
25:12
like baseball now and he's like throwing, you know, balls inside
25:16
the house. I mean, I wouldn't have a house.
25:18
It's an apartment. And I think, oh, I I I guess
25:21
they would really love a backyard.
25:23
But like, they don't know about a backyard.
25:25
I mean they sort of they visit friends in the suburbs and and
25:30
they enjoy it. But this is their home.
25:32
This is what they love. And yeah, I I also enjoy the
25:39
fact that I get to be like myself very easily.
25:46
Like I could meet, you know, I I went to a 40th birthday party
25:52
actually with my kids at like a club, which was really cute.
25:55
I don't know how they rented this out, but it was like there
25:58
was like a bouncer, like it was like a real club in meatpacking.
26:01
And and it was so cute that, like, we went there and then I
26:04
put them to sleep and I went out with friends and like, I could
26:08
really just be me, which I'm not sure that I could do with as
26:15
much facility if I had to drive in and park and blah, blah,
26:18
blah. And maybe I could, I'm not sure.
26:20
But I can always see a Broadway show.
26:23
I can always go to the museum. I can.
26:28
I could go dancing if I want, you know?
26:30
Like, it's like I don't have to lose my edge just because I'm a
26:36
mom. And for me, I like that.
26:39
I really like that. And I like that for them also,
26:42
because the whole I am, the better it is for my kids.
26:47
Yeah, I was going to say I'm sure that's so much better for
26:51
kids to see. Well, like first of all to have
26:55
all that. To have so many experiences of
26:59
other people and other cultures, but then to be able to see you
27:02
as you are. It is so important for our kids
27:07
to see who we really are, not just not just their moms, excuse
27:12
me. They're like coming up where
27:15
we're like our moms are moms. Like they're not real people.
27:21
They don't have. They didn't exist before we were
27:24
born, you know, I do. And I see that with my kids now.
27:27
Like, I'll walk, I'll sing. I sing a lot and they're often
27:31
like, please stop and please don't do it.
27:33
And then when we get to school, like.
27:36
And I see that they are like that my, like full expression of
27:40
myself like is embarrassing to them.
27:42
So like, I have to compartmentalize that.
27:45
Like I have to say like I need to sing and be seen and and
27:48
like, be silly and weird. Maybe not on your time, kid.
27:53
I get that, you know, like, but but I need to make that time for
27:58
myself. That's my, that's my, that's on
28:00
me. Yeah.
28:03
How did it feel for you? Because, like you were saying,
28:08
being able to be yourself, aside from being a mom, which I mean,
28:16
are obviously the same person, but I don't know for you, I felt
28:23
surprised at how much I was the same.
28:28
Like, I thought there was going to be this huge shift of like my
28:33
identity and there really wasn't.
28:38
I don't know if it's good or bad, but it is what it is, Where
28:41
I'm like, I love that. It's just me with a baby now.
28:45
So I'm how have you. How was that for you becoming a
28:52
mom and being an artist and knowing?
28:56
This is who I am, but I'm a mom or I don't know if my questions
29:01
making sense. Yeah.
29:03
Is there a big shift for you emotionally, physically, but
29:11
then also career rise too? Yeah, I think those.
29:18
Questions in one. I think there was like an
29:23
enormous, like circuit break for me when I had my first child.
29:30
I was like, Oh my God, this is what people have been doing for
29:33
millennia. And we don't talk about it.
29:37
We don't notice it. Like I remember being in an Uber
29:40
and I don't know why I opened up to the driver, but he or maybe
29:44
he was just praising me. I think I he wasn't from me
29:47
here, but he, I don't even know where he was from.
29:50
But he was clearly in awe of the fact that I was pregnant and
29:54
that I was creating life. And he sort of pointed me in the
29:59
direction of like, the window to see all of the people in the
30:02
world having been populated by women.
30:05
And it gave me such solace because I just like, I I wasn't
30:10
sure like how am I going to actually make eyeballs?
30:13
Like how's that going to work out?
30:14
Like, like, how did it, you know?
30:18
And to look out and see, like, wow, all these people came
30:22
through this same experience, myself included.
30:27
And then once I had Ness, I just felt like, whoa, The Matrix
30:32
really opened up for me. I felt I found it to be a deeply
30:35
spiritual experience. And I don't think that it
30:38
necessarily changed me, but it definitely deepened me.
30:40
So, you know, I, like, went deep into respectful parenting.
30:45
I know you'd mentioned, like, you were listening to the.
30:47
I don't know. Was it Janet Lansbury's podcast,
30:50
Unruffled? I don't know.
30:52
Yeah, I can only see her visually.
30:54
I don't remember. Her name.
30:58
But I think I'm like, you know, like respect parenting in terms
31:01
of just like, you know, watching the child and letting him be who
31:05
he is. Like, I found that to be so
31:10
artful. Like I thought my role in that
31:13
as a facilitator almost was really, like, meaningful.
31:20
And it really held my attention for long periods of time.
31:25
And I could feel like, oh, I, you know, my art was deepening.
31:31
And logistically, I did feel like, you know, I didn't have a
31:36
lot of time to prepare for auditions and I didn't have a
31:39
lot of time to go to the gym. And I had to really.
31:45
For me, I didn't always know if I wanted to leave or if I wanted
31:50
to stay. I didn't always know if I wanted
31:53
to hand the the baby off to even my husband or a caregiver.
31:59
Like, I I just didn't know what I wanted.
32:03
So on like a logistical level, I was still as ambitious.
32:09
And I like documented that a lot on my, like Instagram at the
32:14
time, which is really how I like sort of gained the following I
32:19
was I was experiencing myself to be the same and and it didn't
32:26
end like, it's not that like right postpartum, you know I
32:33
experienced a change. I think I experienced change at
32:37
a very rapid pace because my children are changing rapidly
32:42
and the world is changing rapidly and my body is also
32:45
like, I'm getting older and I look different and I sound
32:48
different and the, you know, so I think like it's a deeply like
32:52
feminine experience to change over time.
32:58
It doesn't happen just when the baby's born.
33:01
I feel like actually, you know, I was saying that like I booked
33:04
a lot of work when Ness was a baby, made a lot of money and I
33:08
booked a lot of work. And I I felt like me and like I
33:13
felt like I had a superpower and that it is a super.
33:19
It literally is like that is the most I I had experienced the
33:22
most creative force of my life. I I was like, wow, I'm capable
33:29
of that. I am deep.
33:31
Like, wow. I am, like, wildly capable.
33:36
Was that surprising to you before like?
33:43
Were there any fears or like apprehensions about that before
33:50
before getting pregnant? Wondering what is this going to
33:54
look like? How am I going to audition?
33:57
And am I going to audition like while pregnant?
34:01
Because I feel also so many people just think like once I'm
34:08
pregnant. Once I have a baby, I'm going to
34:10
have to take like a year off. Like I can't work at all when
34:13
I'm pregnant, and then I'll have to take off however long after
34:18
the baby's born. And I've heard so many stories
34:22
of, like, people working while they're pregnant and working
34:27
like, pretty soon afterwards. So were did you have those
34:33
apprehensive? Like were you surprised by how
34:35
much you were able? To work and do.
34:39
When I got pregnant, I had had a very early miscarriage, which
34:44
was not to me. It wasn't a big problem.
34:47
I had known that sometimes the body just needs like a
34:51
rehearsal. And I know that it can be very
34:54
upsetting and traumatic for many, many women.
34:57
But it wasn't for me. It was sort of like I I I
35:00
understood that this happens quite a lot and I got pregnant
35:05
with Ness and at 8 weeks I was, you know, having producer
35:10
sessions for the marvelous missus Maisel and you know, like
35:15
getting callbacks for Ocean's 8. Ocean's 8 didn't shoot until I
35:21
was 8 months pregnant. So for a long time I was just.
35:27
And I'm a person whose weight fluctuates anyway, so I just let
35:32
people think I was getting chubby for a while, for like a
35:35
long while, and then once once I did get the call, that like,
35:39
they're going to move forward with me.
35:40
The writer and the casting director are both women who
35:44
actually have children just the same age as my second.
35:47
Now really advocated for me. I was a I'm like in the first
35:51
scene with Sandra Bullock and I am like a shop girl.
35:56
And they were like, well, guys, you know, shop girls can be
36:00
pregnant. Who cares?
36:01
We'll put her behind a like you. If you watched it now, you
36:03
wouldn't think anything of it. Like, I just behind a desk and
36:08
set my lines and called it today.
36:10
It was like an overnight shoot. And it was like, it was so it
36:14
was so exciting. And I did audition quite a lot
36:17
while I was pregnant, which I do think was a good idea for me.
36:22
I was with, like, my dream reps at the time.
36:26
Both of them have since moved on from the industry, and I'm so
36:28
glad that I had that experience with them.
36:31
And then I was badass enough to be like, this happens, this is a
36:34
literal miracle. It happens all the time.
36:36
Like, we're just going to keep rolling.
36:39
And it was partially because I was like, I don't know if this
36:42
is going to be like a full, I don't know if I'm going to have
36:44
a baby at the end of this. Like, people have miscarriages
36:47
all the time. Like, I'm I've worked my whole
36:49
life to have this, these reps and these opportunities.
36:52
I am not going to snooze on them.
36:55
And I didn't. And when I had the baby, I
37:00
really thought, I don't know, I would just, like, hand them off
37:04
to a baby nurse and do my life. And I tried that, and it didn't
37:12
quite feel right to me. I didn't enjoy that experience.
37:17
I really wanted to be with my baby more, so that was really
37:22
surprising. But I went straight back into
37:27
voiceovers days later, and I had, I had my own booth in my,
37:32
you know, that was my, that was my bread and butter.
37:34
So I had my own booth. I didn't have to leave the
37:36
house, but I probably would have liked to take more time.
37:41
I did end up taking about four months with my daughter, and
37:45
then COVID broke out. So I I sort of corrected that
37:49
experience in one way and in another.
37:52
It didn't. It didn't work out for me so
37:53
well. I pan out.
37:57
It didn't really pan out, but I did, you know, stick to my guns.
38:00
I was like, this is the only, this is the only other baby I'm
38:03
going to have and I want to have this stay home experience and
38:08
integrate my son into this. And so I stuck to my guns about
38:12
that too, you know, And the the chips fell where they fell.
38:20
So it sounds like you told your reps at the time pretty early on
38:25
when you were pregnant. No, I didn't.
38:28
No, I wasn't until I like. Saying you're just going to let
38:32
them think you're like gaining a little bit.
38:35
I just let that. I just let everyone think I was
38:37
just gaining weight. Yeah.
38:38
And I and you really couldn't see.
38:40
You really couldn't see it, you know?
38:43
And maybe, maybe I was totally insane.
38:47
But I also feel like for the roles I was going out for, like
38:53
why did anyone need to know? Yeah, actually when I when I
38:59
when I was doing God friended me on Oh my God, was it Fox?
39:04
I don't even know what network was.
39:05
Anyway, I I remember being in the trailer and there being like
39:09
a pamphlet, being like we love all people.
39:13
You could be disabled. You could be pregnant, no big
39:16
deal. And I was like, that's cool.
39:19
I mean, no one, no one tells the rest.
39:21
No one tells us that. But Okay uploaded and then I
39:24
did. I did actually fill my last
39:27
episode with them. About 3 months pregnant with
39:30
paws, yeah. Yeah.
39:36
So yeah, I I don't understand why so many.
39:41
And and I felt it too where it's like we worry about like well,
39:48
can I audition for this? Can I audition for that.
39:50
It's like like that woman shop. Girls can be pregnant.
39:54
Women are pregnant all the time. Why does it?
39:57
Why does it matter? Like what is it?
40:02
It's not going to. Affect the storytelling.
40:05
Yeah, I think there's like a liability.
40:09
But what people don't understand is that pregnancy is like the
40:13
epitome of health. It's it's not a sickness.
40:17
It is not, in fact, a disability.
40:18
It's the opposite. So I think people don't know
40:22
that because the way women are treated, because we're treated
40:26
in hospitals and by doctors, it's become a medicalized
40:29
experience. And sometimes that's for good
40:33
reason. But, but what the effect it has
40:35
on society is that we think that pregnant women are a liability
40:41
and you know, production doesn't want that.
40:44
Yeah, it's it's unfortunate, but I mean, hopefully it's hearing
40:49
all that. These women and I I worked while
40:52
I was pregnant on set and it's like, yeah, we can do this
40:58
people. As long as, like, we're okay,
41:02
Yeah. And like, it's our choice to do
41:06
that. It should be fine.
41:08
I mean, I think the more women there are in those positions of
41:11
power, like the casting director and the writer who have become
41:14
friends of mine, who have children of their two children
41:16
of their own now, the more they can advocate to the studio and
41:21
say don't worry guys, it's okay. And I I I think that you know,
41:27
for for someone who like you know lives in a body that can
41:31
never get pregnant or even maybe doesn't doesn't want to or
41:35
whatever, it is like a male body just doesn't understand what
41:38
that experience is and it looks fragile and it they're it makes
41:42
them nervous and would that cost me more money and would we have
41:45
to postpone and all of these things that totally makes sense
41:49
if we have directors studio executives like I said casting
41:53
and writers who are. Female.
41:57
I think we probably have a better shot.
42:00
Yeah, absolutely. So are you.
42:06
Are you also, are you self taping and stuff?
42:09
And how does that, how does self taping look for you with with
42:15
two of them at home? I mean, I try and do it when my
42:20
baby's asleep or when she's napping, but I imagine
42:25
especially with two, it's like, well, if one's up the other
42:28
like, how do you juggle that? Well, they're they're in school.
42:33
I mean, 3 1/2 and six, they're in school.
42:35
So it's a different life, yeah. It's a different life stage but.
42:48
You know, the one thing that I've booked well have I booked.
42:51
I've booked a couple of things. But the one thing that I booked
42:53
that, like actually moved the needle for me was scenes from a
42:56
marriage. And I booked that with my
42:58
daughter in my arms while my son was taking a bath.
43:02
And like my husband was there and it we were in the rocking
43:06
chair and it was like, it really looked like a the scene.
43:12
It really looked like the scene. That said, I find it to be
43:15
absolute. Fucking chaos.
43:17
I often pay people to tape me and I still don't feel like I,
43:27
you know, there's still a large part of me that would love to be
43:31
in the room. I mean, I I when I do theater,
43:34
most of the time it's it's in the room.
43:39
But I I still wish I could just go.
43:46
Yeah, I still feel that. I even feel that way about
43:48
voiceovers and like here I am with all my like, bells and
43:51
whistles and like, you know, there's like editors and, you
43:56
know, sound engineers have a lot of training and experience and
44:01
like casting directors themselves have a lot of
44:04
experience. And like it was a really freeing
44:07
experience to just like go and do your work and leave, which is
44:11
not at all. What I do, but what I what I you
44:15
know what's on my plate now? My studio is soundproof, so like
44:20
even if the kids are like in the other room, that was necessary
44:24
for me and I often like I was going to ask about.
44:27
Because my husband does audiobooks, it is hard for him.
44:35
And because we just have this little corner of our room, which
44:39
obviously is not soundproof, he can't work if she's awake
44:45
really, regardless because she's so small.
44:47
But he has been looking into these.
44:50
It seems like something that you have.
44:52
So it's like this, you said it's it's a booth that you put inside
44:58
that it's. Yeah.
44:59
That's like a built in booth, like it's I guess it's as big as
45:04
a urinal. It's like fully soundproofed.
45:08
It's what they use in. Like studios.
45:13
So there are several. And this one's, this one's
45:15
expensive, but there are others that are less so.
45:20
But even then, like, you know, I mean my kids playroom, so they
45:25
can't play right next to me or else I would hear or the dog is
45:27
barking, I would hear. But really, like this was a a
45:31
really necessary purchase for me because here we were at home
45:36
there there was just no way I could do well.
45:41
And if that's where you're making your a lot of income
45:45
from, then the cost is will. Yeah, out and end up working
45:54
better for you. I.
45:55
Yeah, I mean, I feel I film many of my auditions in here, and
46:00
then I also film my remote interviews in here also.
46:05
It's like my this is my office. That's my office.
46:09
Is there like a name for it or the?
46:13
Studio bricks. It's called the studio bricks.
46:16
Okay. All right.
46:17
Then yeah, right, it's down. Yeah, cuz we definitely, I mean
46:22
at some point hopefully there's enough of the income where like
46:26
yeah, that makes sense to buy. Did you is voice over something
46:37
you've How long have you been into that?
46:40
Because that seems definitely something that's more conducive
46:47
to being a parent to me seems like.
46:52
So is that something more that you intentionally focused on
46:56
once you had kids? No, I had.
46:59
I had done it for a long time, like I when I graduated from.
47:04
NYUI like, I was connected with someone named Cynthia Adler, who
47:09
was a big voice over star back in the day.
47:12
And when I started in voice Over, she was like, the heyday
47:15
is over, you know, blah, blah, blah.
47:17
And I was just like, the heyday's over.
47:20
I just got to check for $50,000. This for me is a heyday, you
47:24
know, like, that's incredible. And it was I I like, I've been
47:28
the voice of like Colgate. I I've done some animation like
47:33
Red Dead Redemption. I have like a recurring role on
47:35
there. But like mostly it's commercial.
47:38
I I've done commercials for a long time and the community was
47:41
amazing for the longest time. I I like know all these people's
47:46
children and partners and it was like a very small tight knit
47:51
community and it always has been.
47:53
Sometimes people come in and out like they're like.
47:56
Theatrical people who like, oh, they dip their toe in
48:00
commercials and then they got sent out on a voiceover
48:03
audition. They booked it and.
48:05
But it was something that I really focused on for a long
48:09
time and it was great for building a family for sure.
48:13
The industry has changed quite a lot so I think audio books are a
48:16
great way to go. But that's how I got my union
48:19
card originally was I guess what would it, what did I book?
48:23
Oh, I would do these like. Marlo Quin novels for Audible.
48:29
And so I that's it was when SAG and AFRA merged and it was like
48:37
that week and I got my union card.
48:41
I think it's a great way to to get into the industry and also
48:45
to make some insurance. Yeah, sure.
48:50
Yeah, that's that's always I forget that.
48:53
It's like because I'm not in SAG.
48:59
I'm just, I'm SAG eligible. So I will like.
49:03
Oh, they're as long as possible. Well you know what?
49:06
You should maybe look into a site that's called, I think it's
49:10
called Voice 123. Maybe it used to be Video Voice
49:13
bank but there are sites that are non union which is.
49:19
Unfortunate for the union and probably unfortunate for all
49:22
actors if I'm being honest. But very good for you and a way
49:27
of making money and you can do like elearning.
49:31
You can do ebooks, you can do website stuff, you can.
49:35
There's a lot there and if you spend quite a lot of time
49:40
auditioning it mean you have a booth.
49:43
It's a nice way of making money during nap time if possible,
49:47
Yeah, it's. Fun.
49:49
I think voice overs are a lot of fun.
49:51
I know. It really is.
49:53
It is a lot of fun. How I know you were talking
49:58
about that you like to hire actors as like babysitters.
50:03
Where do you tend to find your support system and your
50:09
babysitters? I seems like your family's still
50:14
nearby, but where do you how do you find support for yourself?
50:23
Yeah, the support looks so different now because people
50:28
have to come to me right? Like it's not like I'm and.
50:32
For a long time, even play dates were hard to come by.
50:35
But I just like, came back from a trip to Israel and people are
50:38
just so different, you know, like in other countries, they're
50:42
just like hanging out. Like like a mom will just pick
50:47
up another kid from from school and they'll go have a play date
50:52
real quick before the other mom comes home from work.
50:56
And I just want to name that like this is not really how
50:59
we're supposed to be doing it where we have to, like, pay for.
51:04
Support at every turn like that is not, you know, it's I have
51:09
nothing, There's nothing wrong with capitalism.
51:11
There's nothing wrong with money.
51:12
But I do feel like it's it's one of many ways that we are keeping
51:18
women small and stressed. Is that like every time we, you
51:26
know, leave the house, it costs us $23.00 an hour.
51:31
Across our family $23.00 an hour and and I anyway, I really
51:38
liked. I think it was like industry
51:44
sitters for industry parents or there's a Facebook.
51:48
There was a Facebook group in New York where I initially found
51:53
a couple of babysitters that I liked a lot.
51:58
Sometimes I'll just ask another mom's babysitter, like, wow,
52:01
you're great. Do you have friends?
52:03
And that worked out really well for us.
52:05
We had this new babysitter, Lydia, and she comes twice a
52:07
week and she's the best. She's like 20-4 years old.
52:10
She's an actress. She just like plays.
52:14
She just plays with them and it's funny and is engaged and
52:18
it's the best. I don't know.
52:22
I didn't really like care.com. Like, I just, I never really
52:26
felt comfortable with like career.
52:28
Nannies. And that sucks because honestly,
52:32
people who have nannies, who are like third parents have a lot of
52:38
stability in the home and a lot of orderliness.
52:43
And you know, I think there's like so many amazing things
52:47
about that experience. And for me, it just like never
52:51
felt good. And my mom comes twice a week.
52:56
And that has been a beautiful experience because I've never
53:00
felt closer to her than I do in this iteration of our
53:04
relationship. And it's been so healing and so
53:11
transformative for me to see her with my kids.
53:16
And I just it's like it's hard. You know, my kids also did go to
53:23
like a school. By the time they were in, they
53:27
were 18 months. They went to Montessori
53:30
environment, which I think is like they're really great, it's
53:34
really great. And it was bilingual and I felt
53:36
like they were with other kids and for me just like it meant
53:41
that they were out of the house also.
53:43
So they I had childcare. I was excited to see them.
53:47
You know, whether it was a three or four hour day or longer for
53:51
my daughter was much longer than it was with my son because I had
53:54
two. And you know, life was
53:56
different. But yeah, I think daycare is a
53:59
great option. I think people like poo poo it
54:04
quite a lot. And I I I'm, I'm way more into
54:09
it than I would be like someone in my home, even though I know
54:13
it would be like. A lot easier to pursue my girams
54:18
if there was someone there cleaning up and feeding and
54:23
disciplining. But I also am not interested in
54:27
that style of discipline. So anyway yeah, no, I, I
54:32
recently I just saw one of your posts about the about like
54:38
imaginary play and just like your independent play or both I
54:45
guess really. But just like, because I, I
54:49
think it's we feel guilty. Just like letting our kids like,
54:55
oh, I'm, I'm over here. I should be interacting.
54:59
I should be playing blah, blah. And I'm like, she doesn't want
55:04
like need me to show her how to play with her toys.
55:09
Like she's fine. But it is it's harder than I
55:15
thought it would be to just be like then it's yeah, it's like a
55:23
full of, like I feel guilty, but also I don't.
55:27
And then I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty.
55:29
Like it's a whole. I think it, I think.
55:33
This reminds me of the conversation you had in your in
55:37
the last episode that I heard around birth.
55:40
And the indoctrination that we all have in our society,
55:45
specifically American Society. That this doesn't happen in
55:48
Europe and other places where we are so cruel to women.
55:55
That we have internalized that cruelty.
55:58
That literally nothing we can do is good enough.
56:01
That if we're working. We are abandoning our children.
56:04
If we are staying at home, then we are worthless.
56:08
If we have, you know, an epidural, we're weak.
56:14
And if we birth at a pool, we are.
56:16
We have something to prove. I think so much of the the mom
56:21
guilt that I experienced and that I heard you experience are
56:26
thoughts that are not organic for ourselves because if we were
56:30
being honest with ourselves. You just put life onto this
56:33
earth. You're welcome.
56:36
If we were being honest with ourselves, we would be like, I'm
56:41
such a good mom that I trust my baby.
56:44
You know, I'm such a good mom that I don't have to prove to
56:48
her that I'm here for her. That she knows it, that she
56:50
understands it, that we can take that for granted.
56:54
Like, but we have been, you know, like beaten to a pulp.
57:02
We are too fat. We're too thin.
57:04
We're too loud. We're too quiet.
57:07
Like there's just no winning. And yeah, I I just, I I just
57:14
think like all that mom guilt is like, it's so pervasive.
57:21
And I think what you're doing with this podcast in like
57:24
talking about it, like asking the questions like how do you
57:27
afford to like live a creative life and have a child like.
57:31
I think, I think that is the change we're we're both longing
57:36
for and a part of actually and having these conversations.
57:42
Yeah, cuz I I do wonder if the mom guilt is something that we
57:49
actually have or if it's something that is is just from
57:55
the outside. Cuz like I said, I was like I I
57:59
don't feel bad, but then I'm like I'm supposed.
58:04
To Should I wait? I'm supposed to feel bad now?
58:07
I feel bad, but I don't feel bad.
58:09
And it's like, where is all of this coming from?
58:13
It's so it's And then you feel just crazy.
58:17
Right. Yeah.
58:17
Then you feel crazy. And you're not the only one.
58:19
Like you're voicing something that many of us experience,
58:22
sometimes even as far back into, like the fertility.
58:27
Journey and the the the pregnancy journey.
58:31
And it's not something that is just like in the first year of
58:34
life. This is an experience that we're
58:37
constantly like, second guessing ourselves, partially because
58:41
there's an information overload and we've lost the connection to
58:45
our own internal system. Like, she's fine.
58:50
I see with my own eyes, she's fine.
58:54
I like. You know you don't trust
58:57
yourselves enough. Yeah.
58:59
And we don't give ourselves the credit that's due.
59:04
I mean, at three months you started a podcast.
59:07
I mean, that's incredible. Like with a producer and an
59:11
editor and guests, you know, like to have the wherewithal to
59:15
do that is enormous. And you know, like I have to
59:19
know what I need to need that. Like you said, you need that
59:25
connection with other moms and just and I just enjoy not
59:32
necessarily not giving advice, not receiving necessary advice,
59:39
but just people's. Experience.
59:43
I know there's nothing. Yeah, I know.
59:46
I love that. I love that about you.
59:49
And I love that about me that like.
59:52
I think there's something so special about having been an
59:54
actor and knowing that, like firsthand accounts and that
59:57
lived experience is so gently powerful because we can see, oh
1:00:04
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, you know, this person has
1:00:08
this whole life experience before that informs the present
1:00:13
moment. Oh, I don't have that.
1:00:14
So, so I can't really compare myself, but I can be inspired by
1:00:20
you know. Which is so much better than
1:00:22
prescriptive advice. You know, I I I enjoy following
1:00:27
parenting experts on some level, but I also know that it feeds my
1:00:31
perfectionism. Yeah, same.
1:00:34
And that perfectionism can be debilitating.
1:00:37
And it's actually not good for my kids.
1:00:40
Like when I was like, so hell bent on no TV, no TV, no TV,
1:00:44
Guest two turned into a monster. Me.
1:00:46
You know, like, guess who was a mean mommy?
1:00:49
And like, really me? So like, why am I saying no TV?
1:00:54
Because because some expert told me it was bad okay and maybe I
1:01:00
can use some discernment. I can trust my child.
1:01:05
I can trust myself. Yeah, I I, I like to say I grew
1:01:12
up watching plenty of TV. And I'm like, no one's going to
1:01:17
just, we're not going to, they're not going to watch TV 12
1:01:21
hours, yeah. Like, they're just, they're not.
1:01:26
I mean if they are maybe, maybe you should think about those
1:01:31
choices. But like they're not going to.
1:01:35
So yeah, but I feel like where I'm like, oh, she's like, I'll
1:01:40
never, I'll never bring a tablet to dinner like that.
1:01:46
Like I didn't have a tablet when I was little and we just.
1:01:50
And I'm like, yeah, I also never went out, went out to
1:01:53
restaurants with my, like, we just we ate dinner at home all
1:01:58
the time. But yeah, I think it's a lot of
1:02:01
projection. When I first had Ness, I was
1:02:04
very, very critical of other parents.
1:02:07
And I'm pretty sure that it was my own projection of, like, my
1:02:11
perfectionism, what I had read, what I had done, like just
1:02:18
rejecting all over my friends and family.
1:02:21
Like no one could do it right except for me.
1:02:25
And guess what? That was an incredibly lonely
1:02:27
experience. And I see now that I was wrong.
1:02:30
I was just straight up wrong. It doesn't matter how many books
1:02:34
you read, like every single person and every single child in
1:02:39
particular is different. I think that's like, that's
1:02:42
that's the other thing that I think the actor experienced has
1:02:46
lent me is like, I can be fascinated by how different my
1:02:49
children are, how different each child is, how different each
1:02:53
parent is. You know, that's clarity.
1:02:56
That's reality. The other thing where I'm
1:02:59
judging everybody and I'm like, I would never, you know, that's
1:03:04
absolute insane. That makes no sense.
1:03:07
I have no idea where that person's coming from or going
1:03:09
to. Yeah.
1:03:11
But I mean, I understand where you're coming from, where it's
1:03:14
like. It's an easy, it's an easy thing
1:03:17
to do, but then it's like, who does this serve really.
1:03:23
But but like you said, it's it's it's just a whole mind shift of
1:03:30
like, I like to just say we're all just doing our best, just
1:03:38
trying our best well. I mean, I could, I feel like I
1:03:44
could just talk to you about being an artist and a mom for so
1:03:48
long. There's so much, there's so much
1:03:51
depth to both sides. There's so much depth to
1:03:57
motherhood and to being an artist.
1:04:01
So I feel like women who have both of those things are just
1:04:06
like you said, just it's a superpower.
1:04:09
It really is. What has been your lifesaver at
1:04:13
the moment? Be it like your your babysitter
1:04:18
or your booth or a mantra. I think art really saved my life
1:04:24
and continues to every single day.
1:04:27
I think it. I think it makes me a better
1:04:31
mother and a way better partner and a good friend.
1:04:37
Like the more I listen to when the the sort of creative bug
1:04:44
gets me, like if I let that lead and if I feel like I need to
1:04:51
rest because my creative sort of juices aren't flowing and I just
1:04:57
need a second to myself. Like, I really believe that if
1:05:01
it weren't for art making, I would.
1:05:07
I would be, I would be no good to no one.
1:05:10
So I think my, I think my podcast has been really a
1:05:17
lifesaver for me. And that I'm reminded, I have
1:05:21
perspective around how many different ways there are to be a
1:05:27
woman, which include not having a child at all, which include,
1:05:32
like a myriad of ways of, you know, being a mother.
1:05:39
And I can find myself in the tapestry of all the mothers of
1:05:48
all time because when I, like, zoom the lens back, I can see
1:05:53
like, oh, there are things that I can do better and there are
1:05:56
things that I am really excelling at.
1:05:59
But overall, I'm part of something really magical which
1:06:07
is a lifesaver, that perspective.
1:06:09
Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful.
1:06:11
Look at you. Oh oh God, I never have that
1:06:17
question turned on me. What has been my lifesaver?
1:06:24
I think right now my husband just having him because he's he
1:06:31
like he's in the other room with with May and he's the one who.
1:06:37
For me, because I have to leave, I have to leave to make money.
1:06:41
So to be able to leave and not have to pay someone
1:06:46
logistically, like financially, that's definitely a life
1:06:54
lifesaver. We wouldn't be here if we had to
1:07:00
pay someone to watch our kid because we don't make enough to
1:07:03
do that. Make the difference.
1:07:08
So yeah, him. I also don't know how I would
1:07:10
eat without. I don't.
1:07:13
I don't make anything. So he's.
1:07:17
Yeah, he's my lifesaver at the moment.
1:07:19
My God, I love a good man. Shout out.
1:07:22
Shout out to our good men the best.
1:07:25
Partner is really, really. I don't know how people who do
1:07:32
it solo. Ooh boy, sometimes that.
1:07:36
You know what? I actually interviewed a mother
1:07:38
who decided to have a child on her own.
1:07:42
She's having a great time. She's having a great time.
1:07:44
She did move in with her family, like her parents, because we all
1:07:50
need support. But I just think, like, you
1:07:54
know, there there are a lot of different ways to do it.
1:07:59
I'm really, I'm really glad to be doing it with my husband too.
1:08:02
So thanks for that reminder that we really, we really should
1:08:05
appreciate each other more I. Know, Right.
1:08:08
Yeah, I'll tell him that later, but I hope you do.
1:08:13
We do. We do.
1:08:16
I do think that is important. We do tell each other very
1:08:19
often. Like, hey, just so you know, I
1:08:21
really appreciate all that you do because so much that he does.
1:08:28
And then he's always like you do everything for her, and so like
1:08:32
it is. It is nice to remind each other.
1:08:39
And then I just lost my train of thought.
1:08:41
Oh, since you were saying you are interviewing this woman who
1:08:45
decided to have a kid by herself, There was this show
1:08:50
that reminds me on I watched it on Hulu, but it was called Like
1:08:58
The Parenting. It's like kind of a game show,
1:09:02
not a game show, but like a different parenting styles and
1:09:06
like there ends up being a winner.
1:09:08
I can't remember. Weird.
1:09:10
But, but there was a woman on it who was raising her daughter by
1:09:16
herself and she was saying she's like, it's she's like, it's nice
1:09:21
because I don't have to. She was like, I don't have to.
1:09:24
It's they're all my decisions like.
1:09:28
Talk it out with somebody else. If we don't agree.
1:09:31
And I was like, interesting, yeah, that is true too.
1:09:35
But you know, obviously we all need support regardless of where
1:09:41
it comes from. Totally, totally.
1:09:44
I'm so glad you have that support.
1:09:45
And him, yeah. You too.
1:09:47
Can I ask what your husband does?
1:09:49
He's an entertainment lawyer. Yeah.
1:09:53
So we're both in like the industry.
1:09:56
Yeah. That's that's cool.
1:09:58
Yeah. I I babysit for a few, a few
1:10:01
people where one of the parents is an artist and the other an
1:10:06
actor and the other is a lawyer. There's been I think like 3
1:10:12
three families that I nannyed for like long term, where it's
1:10:16
like one's an actor, one's a lawyer, and I'm like, yeah, that
1:10:20
my sister is one of them. Yeah, I didn't nanny her, but.
1:10:24
My sister is an actor and her husband's a lawyer.
1:10:28
It's I I think from like a relational perspective.
1:10:31
It's it's like, you know, he holds the, the, like sort of
1:10:34
masculine container and I get to be this like wild sort of flame
1:10:40
without burning the house down. Yeah, I actually know a couple
1:10:44
of, yeah, totally. I I know a couple of you know, a
1:10:50
couple of couples actually two couples who one is a bass player
1:10:54
and one is a violinist. And that also feels like the,
1:10:57
you know, the man is the bass player is like boom, boom boom.
1:11:00
And then you know the violinist like gets to be frilly and
1:11:03
feminine. And it really it's it's like an
1:11:06
interesting jigsaw puzzle who you end up with, you know, it's.
1:11:10
So, great. Yeah.
1:11:11
Yeah. Partners are very important.
1:11:13
Yeah, they really are. Well, thank you so much for
1:11:18
taking the time and talking with me.
1:11:20
And I can't wait to listen to more episodes of Your Mom
1:11:25
Curious Podcast. It's so.
1:11:28
I love it so much. It's so interesting.
1:11:31
Thank you. I love your work too.
1:11:32
Thank you so much for having me. And that's our episode.
1:11:37
Thank you so much to my guest and a special thank you to my
1:11:41
producer Cecilia Trip with Laurel Canyon Creative and thank
1:11:46
you to Edith Mudge for our theme music.
1:11:50
And I hope you enjoyed having a look into Mommywood.
1:11:56
Don't forget to follow Mommywood Podcast on Instagram and TikTok.
1:12:03
And please give us a nice review and a few stars while you're at
1:12:08
it. We would appreciate it.
1:12:10
So, so much and take care.