Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 291. How To Work With Retrogrades Without Losing Your Mind

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291. How To Work With Retrogrades Without Losing Your Mind · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Rochelle Christian podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Rochelle, your host.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions, and live life on your terms.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power, and create a life that feels aligned and alive.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: We'll explore human design, astrology, and other tools to help you understand your unique energy.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: More importantly, though, we're gonna talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So each week I'm gonna share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to step up, take control, and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode on the podcast.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: This week was one of those weeks where I wasn't quite clear about what I wanted to come and talk about.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm currently digging more deeply into Pluto Uranus transits, which I really want to talk about, but I want to have a little bit more of a foundation to discuss it on the podcast because what is happening right now in the transits, we've been talking about it for a little while.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: This little minor triangle that's happening is the bigger story of Pluto and Uranus.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And they were last in conjunction in the 60s, I think like 1960 to 1972.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And when you think back to that time, there was a lot that happened.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of social upheaval, feminism, there was wars, sexuality, birth control, all of these themes that are sort of playing out, that continue to play out as these two continue to aspect each other.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So they were in a sextile and then a square, and now they're in the first trine since the 60s.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So these themes are kind of really coming out again now, and I think it's important to understand history so that we don't repeat it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Especially now with everything that's happening.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I am not a historical astrologer, I'm not a predictive astrologer.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to share kind of what I'm learning, and that's always my process a little bit.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'm gonna do that not next week as a guest episode, the week after that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm kind of just processing all out here, but today what I really want to talk about actually is we're gonna dive into Mercury retrograde and retrogrades in general, so that we can really understand how to use the energy of these retrogrades.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm about to switch up a little bit how I do Substack.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do not subscribe to the Substack, you can click the link below.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because inside Subtack, Substack, paid subscribers are now going to be getting a monthly call.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be you're gonna be getting workshops, you're gonna be getting the new moon circle.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of the live component and sort of teaching component that I'm gonna bring into Substack for paid subscribers.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are not a paid subscriber, you'll still get, you know, the weekly uh astrology sort of transit posts and check-ins that I put on there.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So consider that.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I again have launched something during Mercury retrograde, and I will still continue to talk about it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So Astro Design School starts March 20th, the day that we have our spring equinox and Mercury stations direct.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is a year-long container to really be the student of yourself, to understand your own personal cycles and patterns through the seasons and cycles of the astrology.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of the year, you'll have a deeper understanding of who you are, how you work, how you like your own personal cycles, how to use the transits, how to follow the transits, how to digest information, how to really discern like your energy versus collective energy, all that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: So there will be two live calls per month, and then there'll be lessons dropped um monthly in there.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be a really great space to deep dive into your own chart.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you can join through the link that is below and join us.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we start March 20th.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And Astro Design Collective is just a little membership space where we're currently going through Mercury retrograde, Mercury retrograde cycle, and really leaning into that and how to use it in our own chart.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So all the ways that you can work with me are down below in the show notes.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can just go click those links and join us.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want really incredible clean hair care, click the link down below as well.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you can get that.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to join a team as sort of like a side hassle, a little extra money, or if you want to make this like something big, uh, consider joining our team as well.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: We are just a community collective of just like incredible women that empower each other, resource each other.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just like such a beautiful space to be in.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And our products are clean, non-toxic, EU compliant, and they actually work.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the best thing about it.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: The shampoo, the hair care, you know, you're already washing your hair anyway.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So why not clean up that part of your routine?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's sort of like the icing on the cake.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: What I love personally so much is really the support and the community behind it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally like being in a mastermind.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so if you want more information on that, send me an email, DM me on any of the ways that you can find me on all the socials.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I will respond there.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you can click the link below and learn more.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, so all that being said, um, I appreciate you so much for listening.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, share with a friend.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: If the podcast resonates with you, it really, really helps.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I can continue to show up and bring you content.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury is in retrograde.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: We know this.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And Jupiter yesterday, so Tuesday, the 10th, Jupiter just stationed direct.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Retrograde cycles are when the planets appear to be moving backwards in the sky.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're not actually moving backwards, but they're appearing to be moving backwards.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Jupiter retrogrades once a year.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury retrogrades three times, three to four times a year, depending.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Venus retrogrades every 18 months, if I'm not mistaken, and Mars every two years.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: All of the other planets have longer retrograde cycles.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so Jupiter was retrograde for four months, now it's direct.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Uranus stationed retrograde last year, and all the other planets as well.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, retrograde energy, retrograde planets really turn the energy of that planet inwards.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury is sort of the king of retrogrades, I guess you could say.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury is our mind.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury is communication.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when Mercury goes retrograde, it's really, really asking us to slow down.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: This year, for all of this year, and it's going to be dipping in and out next year, Mercury is going to be retrograding in water science.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury in water science is really asking us to assess the quality of our life.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our thoughts because our perspective creates our reality.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're working with Mercury retrograde, it's really important to slow down, to review, reflect, revise, revisit all the RE words.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: One practice that I'm doing is I'm really being hyper-aware of how certain thoughts and narratives make me feel.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a time to do anything, right?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's really a time to create awareness.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we can begin to rewire and reprogram, which is, you know, asking the right questions, journaling on them.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you have a sort of meditation process or meditation practice, rather, if you do any sort of um like binarial beat uh meditations, just something, right?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's just breath work, but visualization is so powerful, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because our mind doesn't know the difference between what we're seeing.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like reading a book, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Our mind doesn't know the difference between what we're reading and our actual reality.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just like when you watch TV and you're in a hypnotic state, your mind doesn't know to discern, like, oh, this is just TV, this is reality.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is a really powerful place to be, actually, especially when we're working with Mercury retrograde.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's not a time to do something about it, but is it it is a retire, it is a time to create awareness and reflect.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I've been doing in my own practice is I've just been really aware throughout my day what's coming up.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then at night I'm really sitting and reflecting on it.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then as I do meditations, visualizations before I go to bed, I can visualize a different outcome.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can visualize and really bring in that feeling.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because in order to rewire our brain, our neural pathways, there are certain things that for sure help.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I will always be an advocate of microdosing mushrooms.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think that it is, if you have read the book, how to um, I think it's called How to How to Change Your Mind.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't have the book.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I lent it out and never got it back.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but How to Change Your Mind is a really good book on how like the science behind how it works.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: But regardless of that, if you're not doing that, totally fine.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Visualization is really powerful.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And really, I think journaling will always be one of my favorite practices, especially when you just sort of like free write, because you're just it's sort of like this brain dump.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: When you can get in this free writing state, this almost like hypnotic state in your journal, you'll be surprised sometimes at what comes out.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've noticed.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So looking in your chart, your astrology chart, to see where what your water houses are.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So that's Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Check in your chart to see what houses they rule.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Specifically Pisces, because that's what we're in, but we can look at all of them because the themes of the last three months, so Mercury retrograded in Scorpio, and the themes that have been coming up since are what are really coming up now, again, Pisces, in a different way, but it's all you know, water energy.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, Pisces is actually my eighth house.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: So this is other people's money, inheritances, drugs, sex, rock and roll, the occult, the taboo, merging, sexuality, all the things.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have noticed a lot of money stories coming up, stories of worthiness, especially because the nodes are also here in uh in Pisces and Virgo, of worthiness, um, and acknowledging that their stories, acknowledging that although my conscious mind understands their stories, and although my conscious mind understands my worth, there is a part of my subconscious that doesn't because of the way my body responds.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I notice myself playing out certain patterns, I'm like, huh, that's interesting.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was past that.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: But here we are.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And what's really powerful is especially when you notice your just body's reactions, that's your subconscious.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: When you like even taking, for example, Astro Design School that I've been launching, I this past week I felt so unregulated.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: I won't say unregulated, I felt, I felt grounded, but I've felt um, I've just felt, I don't know, I don't know how to describe it.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I've come to discern and understand what is collective energy.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Anxiety, I guess we could say.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: I felt really anxious the last week.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that it's not mine because I've really come to understand what my energy feels like and what the collective energy feels like.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this feels more collective.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: It feels more of like the anxiety and the fear and the anger and the grief and all of this stuff that's kind of floating around in the collective versus like what's my own energy.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that it's not my own energy.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And also over the last week, when I've set the intention to sit and create more content, to talk about it more, to send more emails, I found myself in this feeling.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like this double thing where I'm aware that what I'm feeling is collective, and I'm also aware that I'm sort of allowing it in to penetrate my own energetic field, sort of a self-sabotage, because where it gets tricky sometimes is that when we feel when our body responds in such a way, when our body feels intense, when we feel anxious, when we feel scared, when we feel tired, when we feel disorganized, when we feel distracted.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's literally just our subconscious holding us back and self-sabotaging.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels overwhelming.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm in an emotional low, sometimes the need in my body of like having like I have to do this thing, I have to say this thing.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't, this person is never gonna understand, or duh-day.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is the ego, and so it's really important to not do anything when you're feeling anything other than neutral.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in human design, we all have different authorities.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an emotional authority, so for me, neutrality is super important.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are sacral, spleenic, whatever your authority is.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: There always is a component of waiting if you're a sacral authority.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, your sacral is an in the moment knowing, but that in the moment knowing comes when you respond to something.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there is still a period of waiting, right?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So understanding and knowing that you don't have to do anything right now, right?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Taking note, especially when Mercury is in retrograde.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not one to say, stop living your life, don't make any decisions while Mercury's in retrograde.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, like, but I've also experienced uh last, so 2024, Mercury was in retrograde, and I was offered a job, and I took the job.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And even in the interview, the person I was interviewing was like, you can take some time to think about it.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, No, I'm all in.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it was Mercury retrograde.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a part of me that was like, Rochelle, just wait.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there is no pressure in this moment to give them an answer.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I was running away from one situation.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted to get away from one situation, and I was responding to another situation, but I wasn't waiting out my wave, my emotional wave, my emotional authority, and it was Mercury retrograde.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so they even, once I said yes to the position, they actually wanted me to start.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this was about, I think it was like end of November maybe of 2024.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: They actually wanted me to start in January, which would have been outside of the retrograde cycle, which would have given me time to process and think about it and decide if this is what I actually wanted to do.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I let my root, my open root get the best of me.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt this pressure of like, no, if I don't take this now, like I'm never gonna get another job that's gonna get me out of this position.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so they had said, you can start this in January.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: We would actually prefer if you started this in January, and it gives everybody time.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, I want to start it in two weeks.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want to put in my two weeks' notice and start.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, okay.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And literally, I quit that job in January.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think I started it the end of November, and I made it like a month or beginning of December, and I made it about a month, and I was so unhappy.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was crying every single day.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was so out of my element and I was so shadowy.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Where I was like, do I just need to push through this?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of my shadows were coming up so hard.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, is this just a lesson?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to push through it?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I shouldn't feel this unhappy.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't feel this miserable.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't feel this uncomfortable.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I quit that job.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it gave me, I do believe everything works out the way that it's designed to.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: We might not see it in the moment, we might not understand it in the moment, it might not feel good in the moment.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: But that gave me then five months to fully work for myself.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say felt like I was doing something illegal during that time, I felt like I was doing something illegal.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I work for myself, like I don't go in anywhere.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and it started out great.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then I don't know, 2025 was just the year that stripped us all of everything.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like so much of what I had built was just taken from me during 2025 for a reason, right?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: 2025 was the is the year of the snake.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was the year of shedding.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was there to remove everything that really wasn't serving us in the long run.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so now I felt like I'm in this period of really reassessing and reflecting like what's working, what's not working, why isn't things working, right?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why are things working?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why aren't things working?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I need to show up differently?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I not being clear?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I need to be more niche?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of these things, all these questions have been coming up really strongly uh over the last month, right?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: With like Mercury and retrograde.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm really taking time to sit and consider it and think about it.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And my energy as a manifested generator, I'm just like very quick.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here, there, I'm everywhere.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying everything.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a six-three in my profile, which really just means I am 100% trial and error.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I throw everything at the wall, see if it sticks, I fail, I fall, I get up, I try again.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like my energy is very chaotic.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I also have gate three, which is chaos in the beginning in my north node.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is in the sacral center.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So the way my sacral operates is literal chaos in the beginning.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: I call it the mad scientist, where it's like I'm you research all these different things.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm like get an idea and I want to like write a blog or do a podcast or whatever, like I'll be in my bed and I'll have like 25 books around me, and I'm making all these notes.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's just like it comes together, it eventually weaves a story together that I can see.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like I have to go through that chaos period in order to get clear, get the idea.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it takes longer than others.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even my business in general has taken a long time.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And every layer, every time I fail, every time I launch something and it gets crickets, or every time I launch something and it gets people to sign up, like whatever it is, they're all lessons and they're all teaching me something.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be so easy for me just to throw my hands up and be like, you know what, I'm done.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm done.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I also feel so aligned.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know this is what I'm supposed to do.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: And again, what's been coming up for me so strongly over the past few weeks, I will be completely transparent.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: 2025 has been the quietest, slowest year for my business.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that is incredibly frustrating because of course it's so easy to internalize and be like, oh my gosh, I'm just a failure.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not interesting, nobody wants to know, like, nobody wants to hear what I have to say.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not even good at this.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: What like I know nothing, that imposter syndrome.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, those thoughts are like coming up.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: And also, I know that's bullshit.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's not true.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know that I know so much.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have studied so much, I've put it so much time in.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: I am learning so much.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so every layer reveals something new to me.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Every layer holds a lesson.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Every layer is like, okay, well, this didn't work.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't this work?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why was my energy not aligned to that?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I move through that?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is it self-sabotage?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is it actually just like something's not working?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Where is my energy misaligned?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was listening to a podcast today from a I was a therapist.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was a modern wisdom podcast.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so he was interviewing a therapist, and I've never really heard Chris Williams, and I haven't listened to it a whole bunch.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: I only started listening to him about a month ago, so I've listened to like every podcast since.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't really heard him be like spiritual or sort of have that faith of like, and not to say that he doesn't, but I just I haven't heard it, of just like surrender and energy and you know, kind of all the stuff we talk about in the spiritual world.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: He seems to be more science logic based.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he was interviewing this therapist, and they were talking about narcissism.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the therapist was saying they were talking about this theory of like uh therapist client relationship and how sometimes they'll put like I'm gonna butcher exactly what they said.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they'll put like emotions or their feel things from each other, right?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I can't remember what he called it, but this therapist was saying that when a narcissist walks into a room, they don't have to say a single thing.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: And often the therapist will immediately like start thinking and doubting themselves, like, I don't know what I'm doing.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just the energy and the vibe that they bring.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so interesting to hear that perspective of literally the impact of just soul, like just energy alone, right?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yeah, that's so much of what we experience, right?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: We just energetically experience each other.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that to say that when I'm feeling a certain way or I'm moving through a certain um shadow or resistance, and I'm showing up online, it's felt whether I say it or not.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was also thinking the reels and videos and things that I do kind of off the cuff and just because it excites me are the ones that do the best.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's almost like this, I believe, you know, we have to have a balance between the masculine and the feminine.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think for so long it was like strictly the masculine in business, like structure, systems make things make sense.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: There was no room for flow.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so now we're, of course, in the opposite, the law of polarity, where where one way was so extreme masculine, now we're so extreme feminine, we're just like just flow and surrender and trust.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we need both of them.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: What we need is a balance.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: We need the feminine flow, we need the feminine trust, we need the feminine excitement, joy, enthusiasm, passion, intense.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like we need that stuff, and we need the systems and structures in the background to make it work.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's not one or the other.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that in my journey, I've played with both to the extremes, and I'm finding that where we need is this middle ground.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, with Mon 8, what I'm absolutely loving is that we are, you know, in this little like mastermind that we have of all of us in the back and the business end is that we have, we've put in place all these systems and structures and resources that really, really work so that we can show up in the feminine, sort of like in our joy and excitement and allow ourselves to do things that way.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can come and resource each other and help each other and support each other in maybe the more masculine or whatever it is.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, some people are super masculine, some people are super feminine.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: In whatever you need, we can come in and resource each other.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so, even yeah, in business, it's like I would absolutely love to just be in my feminine and show up when I want to show up and talk about what I want to talk about and just write when I want to write and just trust that everything's gonna work.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that's a piece of it.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: But the the masculine, you know, structure and you know, systems and all that kind of stuff in the background that kind of like burns me out a little bit, I do need to lean more into that.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's just been finding this balance.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this Mercury retrograde has really been allowing me to see without taking action, just watching it, really just watching it all come up, watching the shadows, watching the stories, watching the narratives.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're listening to this and you haven't been working with it, it's totally fine.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I would just offer you to slow down and watch, notice.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like whether you journal, I will always, always, always, always urge people to journal.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just grab a journal, write.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Literally at the end of the night, brain dump.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: This also helps you sleep.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like the ways to like holistic and healthy living, like we think it's like 18,000 supplements, and it's really not.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's so simple.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, drink your water, move your body, and sleep.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like these are like the core themes to it, right?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Eat real food, like not processed food, not sugars.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Make your food at home, eat real food, find a place that has whole foods, like whatever it is.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And like literally those things will completely transform your life.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And journal.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is to me, journal.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: So journaling before you get in bed at night, just brain dumping.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: What's on your mind, what's on your heart, what's keeping you up at night?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just get it out of your head, is what like, you know, a cut.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you cut your arm, yeah, you're gonna put a band-aid over it for a while, but at some point you gotta take the band-aid off and let it breathe.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta let air get to it.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like the same thing with our mind.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: We have to get all the thoughts out.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I feel like when I think about showing up online, when I think about this is actually something I was dreaming about this morning.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: I read somewhere, somebody, it was uh an astrology blog, I think it was on Substack, and they were talking about your biggest shadows and fears and the biggest things that you had to suppress in childhood are what karmically you came here in this life to move through in order to embody.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I think about this, I'm a Leo moon and a Leo rising.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And what I felt like was shut down as a child was me being big, me being in my energy, was me showing up and speaking my voice.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so the sun is my chart ruler, and my son is in the 10th house.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so much in my chart that is like, yes, I need to be out there and I need to be loud and I need to share myself and I need to be bold and shine and all of these things.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that deeply to my core.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: And because I suppressed it so much, like I was such a shy child.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I feel shy now, or when I like I'm it's really interesting.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more the type of person that observes, and then I will take the stage in a way.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's a it's a coping mechanism, right?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a safety, it's protection thing because I want to watch and I want to make sure you're worthy of like me showing up for.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: But um, where was I going with this?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so me being loud and being seen, that's what I was journaling this morning, and I was like, there is still a piece of visibility that terrifies me that I feel like I am wrong for, or I shouldn't be that loud, or I shouldn't show up in that way.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if we want to be in this space, whatever your expertise is, like be an authority in that.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that has been hard for me to do.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: I also have my north node in Aries, right?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Which is like very like bold and and fast, and it shows up and it speaks its mind, and it's all those things, it's fiery.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so Libra is my south node.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very comfortable being the supporting role.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very comfortable in collaboration with people.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And also, there's a piece where I need to shine in my own right.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm really learning that, especially since my note of return a couple years ago.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Really learning that, and I'm really learning just to own it.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, own my authority and in what I know and what I'm learning and all these things.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so it is this like ever-evolving um journey, and I'm learning to love the journey.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about the destination, it's literally about like what I'm learning now, what I'm going through now.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And Mercury Retrograde is really, really powerful this season.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I think it's, you know, Pisces is in my eighth house, so there's a lot to be learned there, especially with the nodes, right?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right now in um Pisces and Virgo.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, I would say if you're wanting to lean into this, so Mercury's gonna station direct on the 20th.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is say the 11th?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's still, you still have like nine days, right?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: To kind of reflect and review and all the things.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, whether you have an actual journal, which I highly suggest, um, but if not, just a note the notes app on your phone, voice record record, whatever you feel comfortable with.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Just reflect on the things that have been coming up.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Notice how you feel, how certain things make you feel because it's not always yours, right?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: What makes you feel good, what makes you feel resistance, what makes you feel me, right?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was talking to my son, and he is gate 39 in his conscious son, which is where Jupiter is right now, actually.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: But gate 39 is the gate of provocation.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: It is here to provoke the spirit, to learn something, to evolve consciousness.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really tough gate to have as your conscious son.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's this energy of provoking, and then gate 38 is his earth, right?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it's this dynamic between provoking and fighting, like, but it's fighting, not physically fighting, but like knowing what to fight for.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so, oh my gosh, he triggers people so much.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: And he's also Scorpio rising, so he takes it very personally.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're learning how to be more confident in ourselves.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: He also has everything, he's very defined.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: He has his head defined, his ajna, everything is defined except his ego and his heart.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And or sorry, his his G center in his heart.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I notice where the insecurities come up.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: I notice how he projects, and I'll call him on it.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say, you're trying, attempting to make me feel a certain way.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I feel the way that you feel, it makes you feel less alone in it, or it makes you feel better momentarily.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed too that he started acting differently around his friends or people that he meets where he's gotta be this tough guy.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he was being kind of disrespectful.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so we had a conversation afterwards, and I just asked him, I was like, How does that make you feel in your body when you're acting like that?
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, not really good.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just trying to tell him too, like, I promise you, especially, you know, he's starting to like girls and stuff like that.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I promise you, you showing up authentically will magnetize the right people to you.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it sounds cheesy and corny and cliche, you know, when you're nine or you know, a teenager and your mom's trying to tell you those things, but like feeling good and being authentic and owning your shit is so much more powerful, and you're gonna be so much more attractive to people than if you're just trying to be the tough guy or trying to be what everybody else thinks that we need to be.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're in different times now.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm just gonna keep harping on these things because I see the potential.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this is astrology is a map, it's potentials.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can look at two exact same charts.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you could have two people born at the exact same time.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: The uh I think we talked about this a couple weeks ago, but like Hitler and uh oh my gosh, not Charles Darwin, um, Charlie Chapman were born three days apart.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Their charts are incredibly similar.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Two different upbringings, two different cultures, right?
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like two different people, obviously.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: You also have Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin born the exact same day, the exact same year.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think they were born three hours apart.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Charles Darwin, upper class England, Abraham Lincoln, poor US.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Dramatically different upbringings.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they both rose to a point of success and being seen and in power, but they're different people because different environment.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's that nurture nature, which oh my gosh, I've been thinking about this so strongly.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I took a nap.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired this morning when I woke up and I never, never, never nap, never nap.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I laid down the couch and I was like, you know what?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: I have to close my eyes.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that was my alarm, reminding me to wake up, but I only nap for like 15 minutes.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so, okay, so we're talking about uh Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, uh, yeah, nurture nature.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, right?
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: With my son and some of the things that he's been going through, and even with my daughter, it's just it's so wild to me when um, so my kid's father's not really in the picture.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so crazy that they have not spent any significant amount of time around them, yet they'll have mannerisms or like facial expressions, or certain ways that they joke, or certain ways that they talk.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my gosh, you are your father.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like you see it.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's so crazy.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is it nurture nature, right?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think that's the age-old argument.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: And epigenetics proves that our environment and lifestyle can turn our genes on and off.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I truly believe like we get to choose, but you know, there are certain things, especially with my son recently, certain behaviors that he's shown or things that have been happening that I'm just like maybe it is more nature, but I'm still gonna nurture the shit out of him to like guide him towards another way, right?
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: But this is the thing, the point being with astrology, is that it's all potentials, it's all potential.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not to say that the way something, you know, Mercury and Pisces looks this way and this way only, right?
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like your upbringing, your environment, your your culture, your like all those things have a shape and an impact on the way that that shows up for you.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna wrap it up here.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just again gonna offer for the rest of these nine days, eight days when this episode comes out.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you can, before you get in bed at night, really just journal.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: Get it out, whether it's in your phone, whether it's on a piece of paper, whether you voice note, just get it out.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like start creating awareness of the stories of your mind.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Again, Mercury retrograde through water signs, which it's going to be for the rest of this year, so really paying attention.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's this theme of the entire year.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: Assessing the quality of your life through the quality of your thoughts.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: How can we pattern interrupt and insert new thoughts, new beliefs?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: How can we reprogram and rewire?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I it really begins with awareness, and then we want to move through it.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to ignore, like yesterday, I felt so anxious in my body, and I could have believed all these looping narratives that were happening in my thoughts, but instead, I was I came inside and I came inside to the physical sensation of my body.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now remember, emotions are the physical sensations in the body, feelings are the mental narratives we attach to them.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat with the emotion, I sat with the feeling in my body.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I did a whole body scan.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: I did a Yoga Nitra last night, and then I did a meditation body scan, and I just like I followed it through my body, you know?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so moving through it, breath work, meditation, some somatic practice that can get that out, and we can replace it with something else, right?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: Then visualization is really helpful.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So join us inside Astro Design Collective.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Join us inside or join us in join the Substack, subscribe to the Substack.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: And Astro Design School starts on the 20th.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: So again, I thank you so much for being here, for listening.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you have a good week.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are feeling anxious, fearful, anger, which are all valid emotions given the current political global climate, like for sure.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that everything has an equal or opposite.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: So as much hate and fear that you're seeing out there, there's just as much love that's available as well.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if we want to embody more love, if we want to see more love in the world, if we want to see more connection in the world, if we want to see more peace and compassion, like we have to be that.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so having compassion when you are navigating your day, bringing that out and sharing that with people will be helpful.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, and we'll talk to you next week.