Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Just Jennie: Quiet Strength in a Loud Season

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Just Jennie: Quiet Strength in a Loud Season · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: it's me just Jenny today. I'm so glad you're here. Actually,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: i'm so glad i'm here because for a minute there,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I wasn't sure I was going to make it to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the microphone today, you guys, I want to share some
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: of what's going on in my life right now. And
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm sharing to connect or because
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I just need someone to listen. So, if you don't know,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: my mom moved in over the holidays. She's eighty three
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and she needs full time care. Our family got a
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: new little puppy who needs full time care as well.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: And to top it all off, I had a surgery
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  Speaker 1: on my foot and have been very unable to do
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  Speaker 1: all the things that I normally do. No cleaning really,
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  Speaker 1: even though I try to clean up after everybody on
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: my crutches, which I'm not supposed to do, but you know,
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  Speaker 1: no working out of any kind. I haven't seen a
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  Speaker 1: gym since, uh, I don't know, before the holidays, which
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: has me feeling really blah and unhealthy and like I'm
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  Speaker 1: really letting myself down. And did I mention Jiggly, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm feeling jiggly, like all my hard work at the
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  Speaker 1: gym was for nothing. I know that's not true, but
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  Speaker 1: does that make sense at all? Have you ever felt
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  Speaker 1: that way? I haven't seen my friends in what feels
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  Speaker 1: like forever, and everyone around me is sick with the
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: flu or some sort of cold or COVID. It's bananas.
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  Speaker 1: If you could see my house right now, actually, ah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm glad you can't, because there are constant dishes in
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  Speaker 1: the sink. There are peepee pads everywhere for Dottie Puppy.
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  Speaker 1: There are piles of things that needed to be moved
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  Speaker 1: and dealt with. Oh wait, and I forgot one more thing.
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  Speaker 1: We are in full construction right now. I've been saving
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  Speaker 1: up money like a little squirrel to remodel our bathroom finally.
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  Speaker 1: But little did I know that it all would be
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  Speaker 1: happening at the very same time. And what sometimes makes
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  Speaker 1: it harder is that this kind of season doesn't come
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  Speaker 1: with instructions or clear boundaries. There's no finish line, there's
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  Speaker 1: no ribbon waiting at the end, except maybe the new bathroom,
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  Speaker 1: which I'm still looking forward to. It's just day after
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  Speaker 1: day of showing up and adjusting Some days I feel
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  Speaker 1: strong and capable and grounded. Other days I feel like
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  Speaker 1: I am holding it together by a thread. And I
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: notice how quickly my mind wants to compare, you know,
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  Speaker 1: the scrolling. I will look at the gram, the TikToker
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  Speaker 1: for a second and I will see people traveling and
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  Speaker 1: working out and launching things and looking all pulled together,
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  Speaker 1: and my brain immediately goes to, what is wrong with you?
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  Speaker 1: Why can't you handle this better? You know what that
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  Speaker 1: comparison there, that trap is very sneaky. You know. The
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: expression compare despair is that it no compared to yes,
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  Speaker 1: compare despair. So when you are comparing, it leads to
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  Speaker 1: despair to unhappiness because that comparison voice doesn't ask if
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  Speaker 1: what you're carrying right now is heavy? It just asks
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  Speaker 1: why aren't you carrying it more gracefully? So I am
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  Speaker 1: practicing not asking that question anymore. Instead, I am asking
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  Speaker 1: myself different ones, like what actually matters today? What needs
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  Speaker 1: to be done? And what can wait? And what would
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  Speaker 1: support look like right now? Some days support looks like
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: asking for help, and I hate asking for help, but
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  Speaker 1: it's really necessary. Some days it looks like letting the
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  Speaker 1: house stay messy and choosing rest. Some days it looks
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  Speaker 1: like making a plan with a girlfriend instead of all
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: the other stuff on my list of to do's. And
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I'm really realizing that choosing yourself isn't always a big, empowering,
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  Speaker 1: instagram worthy moment. Sometimes choosing yourself is quiet. It's choosing
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  Speaker 1: not to pile on shame when you're already hurting. It's
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  Speaker 1: choosing patience over it's choosing kindness when your inner critic
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: is allowed. This season is humbling me, for sure, it's
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  Speaker 1: really frustrating me. But also it's teaching me that strength
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  Speaker 1: doesn't always look like pushing through. Sometimes it looks like
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  Speaker 1: staying present, staying open, staying gentle. I know, I know
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  Speaker 1: this sounds like woe is me, but we all have
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: our stuff, right. It's been trying last month. I even
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  Speaker 1: sort of blurred out the fact that a whole new
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  Speaker 1: year rolled in, kind of like it didn't really happen. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: the truth is, it has taken all of my learning
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  Speaker 1: and my tools to stay up and moving forward. I've
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  Speaker 1: been overwhelmed. I've been scared, exhausted, in pain, angry, emotional,
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  Speaker 1: and frankly feeling defeated, which is not good, but also
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  Speaker 1: full of love and gratitude, with a realization that I'm
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  Speaker 1: so fortunate and I've learned that all of those things
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  Speaker 1: can exist at the same time. And I'm telling you
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  Speaker 1: all of this not for sympathy, but just to share
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  Speaker 1: that my life has been lifing to the max and
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  Speaker 1: maybe yours has two. So let me ask you. Have
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  Speaker 1: you ever had one of these seasons where life doesn't
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  Speaker 1: just give you a little hill to get over, it
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  Speaker 1: gives you a big, giant mountain, like everything feels like
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  Speaker 1: it's being thrown at you all at once. So today
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  Speaker 1: I want to talk about the voice that starts talking
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  Speaker 1: to us when we're in this space this season, because
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  Speaker 1: the way we speak to ourselves in the mess, that's
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  Speaker 1: what determines our path forward. Lately, that voice has been
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: tough on me. It's been why, Jenny, the house is
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  Speaker 1: a wreck. You're not being good enough at caretaking for
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  Speaker 1: your mom. Your fitness routine is lacking, your relationship is
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  Speaker 1: strained because you're too tired to even talk. Sometimes it's
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: like a runaway train of I'm not good enough. And yes,
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  Speaker 1: being a caregiver for Mimi is an honor. It really
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  Speaker 1: is a blessing to be able to spend this time
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  Speaker 1: with her and be here to support her and take
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  Speaker 1: care of her. But it's also exhausting, And if you've
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  Speaker 1: ever been a caregiver, you know exactly what I mean.
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  Speaker 1: And when you add on my own surgery recovery to that,
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  Speaker 1: there is this physical frustration that I'm dealing with. I
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  Speaker 1: want to pick up the laundry, I want to clean
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  Speaker 1: the kitchen, but my body says no. And sometimes instead
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  Speaker 1: of listening to my body with kindness, my brain starts
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  Speaker 1: bullying me, kind of like it tries to control the
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  Speaker 1: situation by making me feel guilty about the things I
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  Speaker 1: physically cannot do or change right now. Oh and then
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  Speaker 1: there's the construction. The construction, the noise, and the mess
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  Speaker 1: of it all. It puts a strain on everything, including
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  Speaker 1: my relationship. When you're living in a construction zone, it's
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: like your nervous system is constantly on high alert. If
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  Speaker 1: you are in a season where you feel like your
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  Speaker 1: best just isn't good enough, it's not cutting it. I
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  Speaker 1: want you to take a breath with me. Actually, let's
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  Speaker 1: just do that right now. Doesn't that sound good? Okay,
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  Speaker 1: let's take it in for four. Hold it for four
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  Speaker 1: and let it out for eight. Hold it for four
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  Speaker 1: and let it out for eight. Ah. That's a good
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  Speaker 1: way to address the bully in our heads. But how
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  Speaker 1: do we change it? For me? It starts with interruption.
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  Speaker 1: You know, when I'm sitting there and I'm looking at
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  Speaker 1: the piles of stuff that needs to be handled, those
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  Speaker 1: those thoughts pop up, you know the ones, the ones
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  Speaker 1: that say, you're so far behind on everything, You're never
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  Speaker 1: going to get it all done. You're going to lose
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  Speaker 1: your business. The construction is stalled, just like you. You're not
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  Speaker 1: taking good enough care of Mimi. But you know what,
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  Speaker 1: I have to interrupt myself. I have to literally say
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  Speaker 1: out loud, stop. And then I force myself to pivot.
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  Speaker 1: And instead of you're not a good enough caregiver, I
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  Speaker 1: try to say, you know what, my body is busy
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  Speaker 1: healing right now, and when I'm back on my feet,
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  Speaker 1: you'll be able to take even better care of Mimi.
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  Speaker 1: And instead of my house is a disaster with all
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  Speaker 1: these stacks of things to do, I say, Okay, calm
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  Speaker 1: down right now. This house is for healing, and healing
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  Speaker 1: is messy. So it's about moving from judging myself to
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  Speaker 1: simply observing the situation. When I'm stressed about not exercising
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  Speaker 1: or not seeing my friends, I have to remind myself
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  Speaker 1: that I am choosing to prioritize caregiving and recovery right now,
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  Speaker 1: that right there, it's and I choose me choice because
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  Speaker 1: I am choosing the person I want to be in
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  Speaker 1: this moment, a daughter who is there, a woman who
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  Speaker 1: is honoring her body's need for rest. And since I
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  Speaker 1: can't hit the trail for a hike or do a
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  Speaker 1: heavy workout right now, I've had to really redefine what
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: self care looks like for me in a physical way.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: It's been pulled back down to the basics. I'm talking
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  Speaker 1: deep breathing and stretching. That is it. It sounds so simple.
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  Speaker 1: I know it's almost too simple. But when the construction
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  Speaker 1: is loud and the house is messy, I find five
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  Speaker 1: minutes and I sit and I just breathe, big belly breaths.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes I do the FOURG in four hold eight out
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  Speaker 1: count and I stretch my arms up, I move my
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  Speaker 1: neck and I'm telling you it's a form of prayer
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  Speaker 1: or meditation. It's telling my nervous system we are safe.
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  Speaker 1: We are okay. It's the only exercise I can do
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  Speaker 1: right now, and it's actually the most important exercise I've
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  Speaker 1: ever done, because it's the work of staying in my
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  Speaker 1: body when my mind wants to run rampant, and I
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  Speaker 1: want to be clear, I still feel overwhelmed. I'm allowing
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  Speaker 1: myself to feel that in a very personal way. I cry, sometimes,
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  Speaker 1: they get frustrated. I think it's important to let those
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  Speaker 1: feelings have their moment. If you try to push those
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  Speaker 1: overwhelmed feelings under the rug, you're just gonna trip on
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  Speaker 1: it later. Here's the key. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I
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  Speaker 1: don't let myself get lost in it. I'm keeping my
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  Speaker 1: eyes on the horizon. We are in twenty twenty six
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  Speaker 1: right now. There is a whole year ahead. This surgery
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  Speaker 1: will heal, Mimi will be cared for. The construction will
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  Speaker 1: eventually end. I hope, I hope, I hope, and the
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  Speaker 1: dust will be cleaned. You know, my intention isn't on
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  Speaker 1: the mess at my feet. It's on the path I'm building.
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  Speaker 1: I'm choosing to believe that this moment and all it's chaos,
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  Speaker 1: is just the foundation for something stronger. So if you're
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  Speaker 1: struggling with your inner voice today, try this one thing.
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  Speaker 1: Try speaking to yourself like you would speak to your
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  Speaker 1: best friend, and you would never tell her that she's
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  Speaker 1: failing because she had surgery and is taking care of
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  Speaker 1: her mom. You would tell her she is a warrior.
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  Speaker 1: So tell yourself that today you're a warrior. I am
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  Speaker 1: a warrior. We're doing this together. I choose me today,
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  Speaker 1: and I hope you do too. I love you, guys,