Latest / After Maghrib 🌙 / Dealing with Toxic Friends

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Dealing with Toxic Friends · After Maghrib 🌙

0:00
Salaam alaikum, welcome back to the often are going to podcast.
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And today, guys, we're gonna be talking about friendship and the
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sort of people you hang out with the types of influence, you get
0:10
from them. What is a good friend?
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What is the bad friend? And how the people make you feel
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in this day and age? There's so many definitions of
0:17
friends in this day. Some people even say munch on to
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mollify Holland. Ali Imola means friend but we're
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gonna get to that discussion as well.
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It's just funny because before we had the podcast we kind of
0:29
took So long to get into the discussion and I think that's
0:32
because we're all good friends. So we had a really nice spot,
0:36
the conversation happen to love you guys.
0:38
I need to the podcast, hit that subscribe button on YouTube.
0:40
Follow us on Apple on Spotify or on Google podcast where every
0:43
listening to it and then inshallah you will know when we
0:46
release its that time. It's that time where I introduce
0:52
the OG saying and you're not worried, that's not why I called
1:04
Alaikum. Salaam, what's happening?
1:06
Hello. Hello.
1:07
How are you? I'm good, I'm good handle of.
1:09
Have a very friendly energetic in trouble.
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Yeah, I think a lot of the time when we see shows online and on
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YouTube sometimes it feels forced.
1:19
Then though the last thing we can do is be forced.
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We have to be relatable. We have to be on the side of
1:25
obviously last week we had a very interesting conversation
1:29
and if you're not had a guy's a serious proposal.
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Yeah, you gotta tune in because that was like, Like every
1:34
emotion and a lot of it was cut out.
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I enjoy that part. It was amazing.
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I'm d'lai was very, it was, it was, it was really interesting.
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Was like therapy. Yeah.
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How, you know, after hearing it once said, yeah, I was like,
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wow, what did I talk about? That's while I was here.
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I didn't realize it for me. I would like, you know, it's
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like letting off steam some reason really?
1:55
Yeah, yeah. I know, it's all good.
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To be honest, bro. That's that's being around
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piece, what friends are for, that's always going to say being
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around people that Allow you to share how you feel, and your
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worries and your Ambitions, all of that.
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Like you know, there's that saying, it's like friendship is
2:14
not one big thing, it's a million little things.
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Okay. I mean like it's the little
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things that people do for you and me in the sense of giving
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you time to speak hearing you reciprocating the energy, you
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give them that kind of thing is actual friendship and it's both
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in like Western psychology and Islamic.
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Elegy. And obviously there's a slight
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difference there. We can maybe talk about that and
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the precise, your circle of friends.
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My circle of friends has changed a lot.
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So I those there's periods of my life where I had friends, who
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were good people by their nature, but maybe not doing the
2:46
right things at that time and I think in term that happened to
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me. Okay.
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So I feel like by my nature, I felt you know, handle, I was
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raised well and I was raised amongst community community, it
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helps you a lot. So my circle, my closest Circle.
3:01
When I was younger, we're good hearted people.
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With like bad habits. Okay?
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So that affected me, but I think I'm the last, I've gotten older,
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I found better friends and good friend, takes years to find
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sometimes with very easy for us to say now.
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Yeah, I've got good friends but we never know how good our
3:18
friends aren't. We past that stage because in
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the time, if you ask me, when I was 15 years old, do you have
3:23
good friends out there? Yeah, my boys are sick, you
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know, I mean--can, I ask you a question.
3:27
Yeah. You know, sometimes someone asks
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you know how can someone make friends, you know, back in the
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day my mom My days, growing up a few ever off.
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Someone can I be your friend of like he's a bad friend.
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Yeah, yeah, although if you come across that phrase and I've
3:40
never went up to anyone say, for example.
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Hey, can we be friends or something?
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I think they happen automatically is a very organic.
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This, I'm just trying to understand like how can someone
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say, can I be your friend? The like, you know, is it
3:56
because they have no friends are asking this or I don't know.
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I'm asking this, by the way, but is the first thing that came to
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my head. For example, you know, how can
4:05
we be, how if I find someone that's amazing?
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Like, I meant a bus right next to me, right here, right now.
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But how can I be your friend? You know, what, how can I
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approach you to be friends, huh? You know what I think?
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I genuinely think. And maybe it's because we're in
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London. Mmm.
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Well, I think we know probably to 300 people.
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Let's say, Okay Community, maybe less, maybe more.
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But what I mean is, we know a lot of people, a lot of the
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people, we know, we know on, on a occasional basis.
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Salam alaikum, city of Moscow, where you have family house,
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Work leave them and go muscle up, obviously them again to
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three months later you know what I mean sometimes sometimes you
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don't know how good a friend zone can be unto your closer to
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them. So for example, with you said,
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when I knew before the podcast, we are friends once I will close
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friends, okay? See each other now and then we
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catch up house things as life this, that, right?
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But when we start spending more time together, we learn what I
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learn a lot more from you than you.
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Probably learned for me. But that's, that's I think it
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just comes with time, you know, I had a really nice thing from
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said Mama Barker because Name. He said he gave two tips on
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finding good friends one. He said, ask those in the
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community who you trust and who are experienced.
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So, for example, let's say you're in the mosque.
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Mmm. You speak to the head of the
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youth group. Can you introduce me to some
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brothers? This, that?
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And if they're a good person, they want to say no to, you
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know, they'll say yeah. Come on Friday.
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We had this program. Okay.
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For example, that's option. One option two is go to the
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mosque. Go to your local community
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outside of shahru ramadana Muharram.
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I'm okay because when you go first, looking likely going to
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see the people who want to be there on a Thursday night, for
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example. Yeah.
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Who actually attend, they're good people and invite them to
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your house? You know, I was thinking about
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it, he made a good point. He said, if you only gonna
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invite me to your house, I'm setting my mom, that's basic
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honestly. Like, if you made a commitment
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every Saturday to invite a new person to your house, every week
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you'll develop individual relationships with each of those
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people. Yeah, so if you think about us
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50 plus people a year, you know, if there's so many people that
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you can invite, but that will take things to the next level.
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Would you recommend a lot things?
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Good idea, but I still see as a form of background think.
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Now, I don't think it's not going to be arrogant.
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I don't think stomach friendship works like that.
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No, no I think we're it's meant to be you.
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I say that because all the friends I have are hired or
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previously had or still have on and off or, you know, you know
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how like you said similar to you and circle of friends change
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throughout, you know. But I never ever win, I said,
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hey can we be friends or? For example, I didn't feel like
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I was lonely at any stage. I'm not saying this out like
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Pride or something as I was never in that position.
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So for me I still see as you know, you saw a big friend.
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Think? I know it was wrong of me to
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think like this. That's I I can only think about
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those who have no friends. Okay?
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So let me ask you, that's all I think that's your Western
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mentality that Western thing I think is because when you're a
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rocky side, kicks in your by every random guy to come stay at
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your house, not a bunion or example, am I?
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Right? Or not like, you know, culture,
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your culture is to invite everyone over and eat with
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everyone and to break bread with out but that's that's your
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culture more. But when you were born and
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raised in the UK or the West is different.
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Surely like, but, but what our show you our religion encourages
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us to do, how many times do we hear in a Hadith about like I'm
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not mistaken, mom suddenly salaam.
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We're told his companions, do not let a traveler passed
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through the city without letting them, come to our house and eat
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like that's that's something which A, it's expected on the
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follows that AB Islam. Salaam.
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So maybe is back friending, like, in the western sense, I
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know it sounds wrong, but technically, I guess that's,
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that's what we've grown up with Fair, Clara, Sharla.
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I have, you know how whoever's listening and I don't mean, you
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know, if you want to find some good friends out there, please
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go after them genuinely, you know, can we be friends and
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stuff? As I'm not saying is, I'm not
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saying it's a wrong thing, I need.
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Yeah, I hope I don't see what's a good friend.
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Well, how'd you find friends? You'd come back to me?
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Listen, I'll give you an example sandwich.
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The well, you know, it's the right frame and I'll have them.
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A may your amazing right? Yes.
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Friends, increasing a circle, Richard.
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Best like, someone must pay a fine and Noble wife and shot me.
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I say, most of all have been friends, but I think since we
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were crawling. Yeah, I can, if I can be true.
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So we've never said, hey, can we be friends?
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Yeah. Class.
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What you guys are grown up together with me?
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I like to be around people who helped me be productive if I
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noticed someone's life. Distracting me from achieving
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something. You can't really push them away
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because if someone loves you or someone close to you, it's not
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nice to push them away, especially if they will, if they
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want to be your friend, can I tell you something?
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Well, it's nice to be around. People who helped you be
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productive. You know, when I, when I around
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the time, it's not relevant to a little bit TV.
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Okay, about the time, I joined this channel around the time
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where I started working, many years ago, someone who I
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respected It at the time, said to me was why friends with this
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guy? And I use the term because he's
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dunce, stay away from him. He's not going to benefit you.
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You're not going to learn anything from him.
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Stay with him. I was like in my head.
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I remember thinking who are you to tell me who I choose my
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friends, at the same time, of course, we should listen to
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those who are elderly and take that take their opinion on
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board. I remember thinking like maybe
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he's right. Maybe he's not.
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But I ignored it long-term. I stayed friends that guy that
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guy has been my one of my closest friends.
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Years. Yeah, and he's he may not make
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me productive in a works as like, says a Muslim, but at the
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same time, sometimes you don't need friends to do that.
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Friends are people who are honest with you and they
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encourage you towards goodness and keep you away from Evil.
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You get me like that, that surely that's quite a
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performance. You know, I like about having
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good friends, they can sit down, have a conversation and be you
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who you are and it's very natural.
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There's to make them and one thing I've realized now talking
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about Good Friends. A hundred and ninety-nine
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percent. Welcome to stations are all
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relating to see exactly what be honest being productive.
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Doesn't necessarily mean any producing more functional, risk
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your money from your chair, it could be just gaining Knowledge
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from each other. Having destroyed fruitful
10:13
discussions. That's a good pass stuff around
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you. You could be friends with
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anyone. Like I'm friends with the
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parents, like the dads of some of my friends, okay?
10:23
For example, and it sounds weird but you are something I've
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learned in the last year or two, especially since you become a
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father Meantime, the like I've been able to expand my
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willingness to become closer to people of different age groups
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of cultures, I think, since I became at that because you, I
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think you connect on different levels.
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You learn different things. Things that maybe you didn't
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know before. And one way younger, we've grown
10:49
up, at least for me. I grew up in a community where
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we had Sunday school. So, yeah, yes, yes.
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And four years will I call This Guy's class above me, so we
10:59
don't like, you know, there's separate group.
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Where one group in our class and we had a year below us and so on
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but as you get older you ignore those boundaries Asian because
11:07
of my color barrier e. So like, you know, but that,
11:10
that what we know of friendship in the western sense, like I
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said, we got ignore that they, it doesn't play a part of the
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long run. Yeah, no, that's very true, very
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true. And I want to go back to my
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point, you know, we were discussing a bit earlier here.
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Now, about if you have no, friends go and ask, you know,
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can I be your friend, for example?
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And it's important because, you know, it's Nam, I see always
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emphasizes on like Brotherhood or having good companionship or
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having good friendship, you know, and they Islam always
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emphasizes on finding the right friend, the true friend, the
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friend that takes you closer to Allah subhanaw, taala, not the
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friend that someone reminded me quite earlier on before the
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podcast that takes you away from Allah subhanallah.
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Yeah, I'll have the right in my circle of friends for turning my
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circle of friends, they have changed throughout the years
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time from. I think Secondary School, all of
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the 61 extra for a wire coming out of work.
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My rage was, I'm still married under the.
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I've seen all sorts of friends and even though I can say a
12:09
percentage of those friends, I still call them friends are not
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those who take me towards Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala.
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I've never allowed them to influence me because I think
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when I grew up I have the mindset.
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Like I remember my mom and my father later I'm not like they'd
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always warned me from has got a suit, you know, you have certain
12:28
friends. That are a danger to you.
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They can influence you. It can take you towards Harem.
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You know, they can take you on the right path.
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So I always had that even though I still like communique, spend
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some time with them at school, whatever it was, I always knew
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at the back of my head, whatever, this is whatever
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they're discussing the Montero, whatever, you know, whatever
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they're pushing for whether they're excited.
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And you know, the over the moon about the conversation, they're
12:53
having at the back of my head, I'm like, how the concentrate on
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this is the mentality I had and I know nothing that helps Let me
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choose the right friends, help filter?
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Yeah, yeah, because you can be comfortable with everyone in any
13:05
situation and I think that's important especially living here
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in the west. Yeah, is that we can't just shut
13:09
away and say no no let's put let's put a blind down.
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I'm only a friends with Muslims. I think that's wrong because we
13:17
need to adapt and be able to, for example, you know, break
13:21
bread, shake hands with people one almost in for example and we
13:24
can have a good laugh. We can have a good conversation,
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it's just important to have at the back of our heads.
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Don't get influenced nothing, that that was influence, is very
13:34
critical. Yeah, and the friendship, you
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know, there's that, there's that thing in the middle minions will
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listen to Mom, has analyst. Some, he says, beware of
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befriending a stupid person. This person who's got no no
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benefit and he says, even though they'll try and be of benefit to
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you, not only bring you trouble. Yes.
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So what am I really? So I'm saying is in my opinion,
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the way I understood it, is he saying?
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Make your assumption or make you a judgment on that person before
14:03
you prevent them. Hope so you can't judge someone
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entirely a lot of time. That's why we spread rumors and
14:09
gossip and whatnot because we're judging people for we know them.
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But I think maybe observe them as probably the right word from
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an external perspective. What are their habits like what
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their practices? Like, again, I'm interested.
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Muhammad Barker earlier. He also says, in this talk, he's
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like, check out the social media.
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Like if you know a guy like Sly, stalking them.
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Yeah. Yeah he goes.
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See what they're on Twitter, what they tween, what they
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liking or 12th on Instagram? Also page?
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They follow. You know what they post on
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Snapchat? What a person Tick?
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Tock, those kind of things gives you an indication as to what
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kind of person is this is, you know, you think about it, okay?
14:45
Your legacy is defined by what is defined by, how people
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remember you, right? So let's say in this life, your
14:52
closest friends are the people who are the Sinners, right?
14:57
And when you die, those people will be like Yeah, I'm at was a
15:00
good guy. I spend all my time with him.
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I can vouch for him. How he's a great guy?
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And he the people who are vouching for you after you, die
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are the Sinners saying yeah, we spent all our time with him, is
15:10
a good guy. What sort of legacy is that
15:12
going to need for you, for example, and if the people who
15:15
are are promoting you after you leave this world, other people
15:19
who can't be trusted, that says more about you than anything
15:23
else in my opinion. So we just have to be careful
15:25
because the circle we choose now is is Like a canvas of who we
15:31
are. You know, I always say that
15:33
point on so many podcasts in the past, you are the average of The
15:36
Five People You spend the most time with.
15:38
I've said that again and again and again, I truly believe that
15:40
because the people who spend the most time with encourage and and
15:44
influence, what's of discussions, you have what
15:46
interests, you have your nature and way of speaking things like
15:50
that, so we just got to be conscious of it because, you
15:53
know, we can easily get misled. No, you're right.
15:55
And speaking about, you know, you mentioned dying.
15:58
Yeah. I know we recently had the
16:00
podcast about that. Yes.
16:02
Just just to briefly touch on this is I think what makes a
16:05
good friend know what to know, or you can wish to have a good
16:07
friend? Is that if you die, well, you,
16:10
you want them to read Quran for you.
16:11
Yeah, you want them to do Salat and wash it for you.
16:13
So imagine having those sort of friends in your life.
16:16
I think, you know, it pays off in your car and you'll benefit
16:20
from The Good Company. You had in this world in your
16:23
hair, often is very important I look having friends and you know
16:27
me being me the majority of my Friends.
16:29
I can say our brothers and service and have the wall.
16:32
So in like a similar field, we all have the same goal to serve,
16:35
Allah, his messenger, and their little bit on him Salam.
16:38
That's where my majority of friends are but then I have
16:41
friends who are really friends and sometimes enough.
16:45
I've come across individuals who I never thought I can become
16:49
friends with. Yeah.
16:50
Subhan Allah, you know backstage, no one knows but we
16:53
are the best of, you know, companions.
16:57
I can say and alhamdulillah. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala works.
17:00
So mysteriously a lot of him that you don't know who's going
17:05
to be your friends one day of the most scary as big as those
17:08
who you trust so much. And when they coming back stop
17:11
you. You know there's that thing said
17:14
I'm monsters yeah it's so true he goes he goes never befriend a
17:20
person who doesn't pray that solar mmm because if they're not
17:25
loyal to God how they're going to be loyal to.
17:26
Yeah yeah yeah like and that just goes to show Show.
17:29
There's a lot of, there's a lot of indicators on what sort of
17:33
put. There's another Hadith in months
17:34
the journal. If I'm not mistaken, says moms
17:37
in love with the unless I'm says on in advice to sell them on
17:40
background. Their slum, beware of
17:41
befriending, those with cut off relations, with his kin for
17:44
verily. I've seen him cursed in the book
17:45
of Allah Mighty, an exalted on three different occasions and he
17:49
Annie Butler. Vom the ones who cut off their
17:53
family, their cursed in the book of God.
17:56
So don't be friends with those. So there's like so many things.
17:58
We're told us. People who you should chill with
18:00
and the times you shouldn't. And you know what said there's
18:03
there's times in your life where a good friend will become
18:08
evident to you or a friend will become evident to you.
18:10
Whether they are good or bad friend, you're getting married
18:12
for example. Yeah, this guy you have two
18:14
friends. One says she is fine.
18:16
Music is not big deal on says, no, you can't.
18:18
I'm not coming to your wedding if you're playing music, which
18:21
one is a good friend? That's what is this?
18:23
I'm not coming to your wedding or the one who says, no, it's
18:24
good. I'll be there no matter what.
18:26
Hmm, on the apps got on the outskirts.
18:29
On the front, you know, externally you think?
18:30
Yeah. The one who can touch one things
18:31
we witnessed like all, for example.
18:34
Yeah. Hey Job Rob.
18:36
Hey, job is such a big deal. Yeah, a friend, who's, who's got
18:42
that leader? Like and who doesn't want to
18:44
make eye contact with your wife? If your wife is not observing
18:47
property job is a good friend, some people get offended, but
18:50
what do you mean? This is my wife, your might be
18:52
meant to be my boy. You know, I mean, as an example.
18:54
Yeah. II can imagine situations like
18:57
these and I'm sure we've seen Choices like these.
19:00
But there's countless examples times in your life where you're
19:03
in. Need, there's a Time recently, I
19:05
did something funny. And I asked all of you Brothers
19:08
in the room. Every single one of you.
19:09
Each of you three guys who are here, I sent you a message.
19:13
I was like, broken. I borrow some money to remember?
19:16
Yes, yes, yes, I did. Majority I'd say 18 out of 20
19:44
people said, yeah. Of course, how much it even say
19:47
why they didn't say this or that anyway.
19:50
But obviously the reason was, is I was going to say, look, it's
19:53
not for me. Well, fundraising for a cause,
19:56
so I I just wanted to People's attention, the donations go on
20:00
your name on our names. It was not in my name as well.
20:04
Say it was for the benefit of those who done it anyway.
20:06
But the point was, is that I liked that was a scenario where,
20:10
you know, I was able to get my friend support, no, it's good.
20:14
And, you know, friends like that those who support the say,
20:17
wasn't a cause you had, but if you genuinely needed money
20:20
because you don't, ya, you know, subhanallah we have friends who
20:24
are friends with you for your money and, you know, they like
20:28
to chill with Because you're going to pay for the the food.
20:31
For example, I like to chill with you because if you're going
20:34
now you're going to pay for their ticket for the wherever
20:35
he's going, always with you everywhere room, but they make
20:38
him come a stage in your life, where, you know, you probably
20:41
have some financial difficulty along the way where you cannot
20:44
do this any longer suddenly, you don't have them calling you any,
20:48
abandon you do, they abandon your, sometimes you require
20:51
something something as simple as someone is generally forgot the
20:54
Wallop and you're somewhere. Yeah, abroad just that's when
20:58
you quit. Very soon as I get home.
21:00
Sorry, bro, I don't have I don't have cash and go Bank bank card.
21:04
I don't have cash. Those people will not stay far
21:06
away from this mess. A it on the flip side of that,
21:08
as well. You get friends who you're
21:11
really close with but they don't they don't come out and see you
21:13
often because they don't have money, but because of that, you
21:16
end up getting first distancing from them.
21:19
Yeah, but there's a difference but generosity can be different
21:21
ways like you might know and a good friend will say to you look
21:24
I'm not a good situation and they'll tell you separately, but
21:26
you don't need to go out and spend money.
21:27
Jorge. No.
21:28
But I've Got Friends that has happened.
21:30
I've seen it, I've seen this happen a few times where I've
21:33
got friends, who have distance from me because they don't have
21:36
money to go out. They can't afford to put that 2
21:39
pounds, doors, a child, for example, to say, in a coffee
21:41
shop but over time, you lose them and you don't want to lose
21:44
them. So it's a difficult phase of the
21:47
should be more conscious of that, because sometimes we do
21:50
the same things. Every time I go out, I'll go out
21:51
for a meal or to a cafe. We spend 10 15 pounds, for
21:54
example, per person, not everyone, may be can do that all
21:57
times, but the thing is a good friend.
21:59
And we'll ask everyone, was, what would you be?
22:02
What would you like to do? Whatever.
22:03
Where would you like to go? Some guys, you'll know, at the
22:05
end of the day, they want to go out because they want to take
22:08
pictures, they want to be seen and they want to look good and
22:10
dress fancy and just for the Vibes.
22:13
Hmm, other people don't care any come over to my house.
22:15
We'll sit and talk for three hours, no food, nothing.
22:18
Those are sometimes the best conversations the best chills,
22:22
you know, I mean, you know, I like going out and groups.
22:25
Yeah, you're with friends and then let's say you've gone to a
22:27
restaurant or something. And then, you know, comes time
22:31
to pay. Yeah, I'm fine.
22:34
Who's paying the bill? And she said, I don't know if
22:37
you've seen this year, you know, the first time this pay thing
22:41
happened, they were quick story. Okay, I was on my way back from
22:44
a lot. I was, I was like, I was young.
22:46
I was like, 18 years old and those are brother who I went on
22:51
the other, with his older than me. 15, 20 years older than me,
22:55
lovely guy. We had an amazing time together
22:56
on the way back from Iraq, we stopped off.
22:59
One of the have each card like Doha somewhere, okay.
23:02
And there's a lot of KFC solid. Yeah, so I said I'll pay.
23:07
He said, no, no, I'll pass it. No, some me.
23:09
I've got cash, I need to use my my money before I go back.
23:12
Yes, he's like, no. So, me three times.
23:14
It happened eventually stopped talking to me because what
23:17
happened is genuinely offended. So I was like, what's going on?
23:20
How am I meant to know? Yeah, on the flight back.
23:23
Another guy told me. He goes, you offended him
23:24
because you didn't let him pay. He asked you three times.
23:27
I was like, that's crazy because in my culture you're not meant
23:30
to do that. Hmm.
23:31
Like he's Elder than me. You know why?
23:34
Depends how you see it? But in my culture, it doesn't
23:36
work like that. This through love three thing,
23:38
doesn't happen. I let that young age.
23:41
So and then you get so I said, well, I had the friend like
23:44
this. Sometimes used to go out.
23:45
Yeah. And we've always had the
23:46
situation who's paying the bill, and he do in advance, like, he
23:51
paid for everything in advance. And then, you know, you can't to
23:54
pay like the bills paid. But there are some people who
23:56
never never ever ever. Also Define a good friend.
24:00
Yeah, this is Josh generosity generosity acts by friends.
24:04
It's nice. It's nice to have friends like
24:05
this, by the way. Yeah, because you know, when
24:07
times are hard, they're the ones were going to stand beside you.
24:10
I'll be honest. I don't know if you've had any
24:13
are times in life, or someone listening has had hard times in
24:16
life. When you have difficulty with a
24:18
lot, you rely on your friends somehow to become like a
24:21
backbone. Yeah.
24:22
But somehow, they become sort of a foundation where they hold
24:26
your, they hold your ground. Because So what someone who
24:30
provides for their family? For example, if you ever face a
24:33
difficulty it is very difficult for you to go and tell someone I
24:38
can't provide for my family so that that first instance when
24:42
you go and ask for someone can I have help for this month?
24:45
For example if they say no Hmm. There's a danger in the unless
24:54
they have a genuine excuse, and that's have the Jonas where they
24:56
cannot help you on this occasion, or maybe they can find
24:59
someone else to help you, or you go to another friend, as if you
25:03
knock on every door, never give me the same answer.
25:05
I say, the reason why I'm saying this, because I know people in
25:07
the situation, I know people who have faced this and who they
25:10
thought they were friends with for the last 10, 12, 15 years,
25:14
and not to be their friends at all, and then they would go back
25:17
behind this individual and sell Bobby came asking for money.
25:20
Yeah. Yeah, your friends would like to
25:23
understand. Yeah.
25:24
I don't understand sometimes how friends consider them, friends,
25:27
anyhow. And I don't want to bring my
25:30
anything, like you said, times of need and times and change
25:33
transition, because, you know, your friends, genuinely in the
25:36
times of need and the things times of need is not just
25:39
hardship in my, like, what I'm material, hardship.
25:41
Become a conversation. It can be conversation.
25:44
I remember those have a specific friend that's coming to mind.
25:47
We've been friends for maybe 15, 20 years.
25:49
Hmm, this guy. I became close to him probably
25:53
about 10 years ago. Okay.
25:55
When I was going through a hard thing in terms of I wanted to
26:00
stop doing something bad and start doing something good.
26:02
Yeah, I remember one point I was in tears, I was literally crying
26:07
the guy had his arm around my shoulder.
26:08
He was calming me down, mmm. All right, couple years later,
26:11
someone passes away in the family.
26:13
He's the few years later, I'm getting married.
26:17
Is there a few years later? I'm having another issue or
26:20
difficulty or Whatever. I he's there I have a baby come
26:23
I'm Darla he's there and what you notice is that?
26:26
That's definitely zaidi all of us.
26:32
Now what you notice is the true Brothers will be with you
26:35
through thick and thin. Yes.
26:37
And when you when you want to do something good, then support
26:40
you. And when you're doing something
26:41
that they think you can improve on, they'll tell you like the
26:44
same guy has told me. I'm not on multiple occasions,
26:46
by the way. You should be doing this.
26:48
Why are you doing this? You're doing this wrong.
26:49
Mmm. You know why?
26:51
Will be that has encouraged me. I think like subhanallah this
26:54
probably we might know thousands of people, but there's only
26:57
like, five, ten brothers, who you can say.
27:00
Like, I know this guy's got me. Mmm, even that is a wealth in
27:06
itself to her. That's, that's an amazing
27:07
blessing. You have, by the way.
27:09
Yeah. So not everyone has that
27:10
shoulders flourishes and you know, finding friends like this
27:12
is so hard because it can take years.
27:15
Yeah, to find out right friends, honestly, because everyone can
27:18
be your friend for various reasons.
27:21
And, you know, it can be the simple as just from Salam in the
27:23
past his house. Yeah.
27:24
And I'm gonna 40 wherever is as friends like this.
27:27
Well not the sole rare like a gem, don't think.
27:31
Yeah. Sir.
27:33
I wanna ask you a question one but there's no mic to you.
27:37
I've known you for how long three to five years.
27:40
Let's take for as an example and those four years.
27:43
I've known you and you are way younger than me by them.
27:48
I'd see no age barrier. Okay that's number one and I
27:53
don't see myself wiser than you anyway.
27:56
Just just to make it clear. I lost I can consider you a
27:59
friend, a good friend. You know, why?
28:01
Because every conversation we have yourself, you always save
28:06
me. Back every single cover,
28:08
especially the conversation we had before the podcast.
28:10
And yeah, I really wanted to say that I because before coming on
28:15
to the podcast, I came across a Hadith, I think was about to
28:18
Days ago before this conversation will have a know is
28:20
that. And the conversation was if you
28:25
find a brother like this there's reward and telling this brother
28:29
that you love them for the sake of Allah.
28:31
So you are sir I love you more than for the sake of Allah.
28:33
Just laugh at this point I share that I love you to see
29:05
When they are angry and you see how they respond to in the
29:08
matters of money, when you, when you see, how they are with
29:11
money, miles of the being miserly or being generous and
29:15
three when you've traveled with them.
29:16
Yes. And the traveling one is always
29:17
interesting because you get to see someone when they're there.
29:21
They're troubled when they're fatigued, when they're abroad.
29:24
Are they praying their Casa? Are they praying?
29:26
You know? They're doing things the right
29:27
way. How do they act when no one's
29:29
around? You know, you go to a foreign
29:31
land for example, you don't know anyone.
29:32
There's no Asians on you you can walk around the street how you
29:35
like dress? How you like.
29:36
You're not going to run into anyone, you know, for example,
29:39
as you get to see things traveled with so much people,
29:42
and I think this traveling one is the best one.
29:45
And those all those ones. I'm hungry laughter.
29:48
I was so much people have so much friends, don't know who I'm
29:50
talking about. So, I traveled to the brother
29:52
once and, you know, he had a problem where he goes, you know,
29:57
he's married, God bless him, this, he had issues at home
30:01
because the wife didn't like how he does things.
30:03
Okay, randomly, we traveled and I sort of understood his wife.
30:09
I was like, bro, honestly, I love you.
30:12
That's what you're doing here. Unless I had more Tech.
30:14
Hmm. And you'd come in, you throw
30:16
your socks there for example or brothers things like as I don't
30:21
want to go into it that's it tells you it's traveling with
30:25
someone tells you so much about individual.
30:26
Although I'm still friends with him today by the way.
30:28
Hamdulillah but II told them bro.
30:30
You gonna fix on these things because if I've I've known you
30:33
for so much. Here's I got no issues with you.
30:35
This stuff was bothering me. Yeah.
30:38
Rose gonna bother is going to bother you at home as well.
30:40
Of course. So sometimes, you know, when we
30:42
traveled together we can see some bad habits and now our
30:46
friends, we can advise them as well.
30:48
And the beauty about traveling with people is that you get to
30:50
see them for who they are. When it comes to money, when it
30:53
comes to their patients, when it comes to everything and I have
30:58
tested friend before, Angering them because those are stage in
31:05
my life where I think it was like, 2013-14 before 2015.
31:12
I think where I sort of stopped trusting everyone and and didn't
31:19
give too much people of mine and I'm still like this today by the
31:21
way, why don't share too much and I don't know those there was
31:27
a conversation I really wanted to have with someone besides.
31:29
I don't know how much I can trust him.
31:30
So I was like My anger them, I see how they respond buying them
31:33
in a positive way. 100, they go Angry for about few seconds.
31:39
It was like, brother. No, I'm angry with you.
31:40
Sorry. We can't that did the same
31:43
thing. Made them angry.
31:44
Again. You got twice as angry as he was
31:47
twice as apologetic and on the third time he goes, bro, you
31:51
just punch me in the face. This I'm not into anything to
31:53
you. That's how much I love you.
31:54
That was able to have that conversation, but sometimes you
31:56
gotta test the waters with who you can have serious
31:58
conversations with because at the end of the day, You can't
32:01
share your your intimate your most intimate secrets with the
32:06
Walt because, you know, we have a Hadith by the elevator.
32:09
I am Salam that tell us do not share your most Intimate Secrets
32:13
as well. Because you do not know if they
32:15
will become one day, your enemy and whatever secret you shared
32:19
with them will come to harm. You is true.
32:22
That's true. So that, and so, that's also one
32:23
thing, I think we should always bear in mind because people
32:27
shared everything left, right and Center.
32:29
Then sometimes you have those friends, Pick up this
32:31
information, have you be? And they go to this River
32:34
sessions and they spread the all on and then you're wondering,
32:37
you know, why is this person talking to me, bro, you're part
32:40
of the problem you're telling the world that you have issues
32:43
here you know you have a problem with mr.
32:45
Hex or any sisters gone issue with another sister for example
32:50
and you want to know why are people gossiping about me.
32:52
Number one, you're sharing your most intimate personal personal
32:56
secrets, okay? But number two, you're sharing
32:59
with people who are gossiping. So If you know, for example, you
33:03
know, you're hearing other people's gossip, be sure to know
33:06
that whoever you just told your secret to that's been gossiping
33:09
to you. It's going to go around telling
33:11
because of yeah, it works both ways.
33:13
Yeah because you develop a culture with people.
33:15
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'All of being used to sharing
33:17
and other people's information and and so on, of course, and
33:21
represent, you know, speaking about today and I knew we were
33:24
going to have this discussion, and I wanted to talk about the
33:31
You know, our surroundings, mm-hmm, because being Muslim,
33:37
I'm the low sugar. Do you know?
33:38
Although we were born in the faith, I actually love this
33:40
fixed so much that being Muslim. We want to always ensure that
33:45
our surroundings are within the Islamic framework around.
33:50
This is the parameters, if I can use that.
33:53
So having good company and we know there's, there's a Hadith
33:56
Paris on a lot. I want to share that actually
33:58
screenshot that somewhere on add to this conversation.
34:01
Just a second. Rasulallah salallahu alayhi wa
34:03
sallam says man imitates, his friends.
34:07
Hence you must consider to whom you want to befriend for a man
34:11
follows the faith and the ways. And the habits of his friends.
34:16
And if rasulallah salallahu, alihi Warriors and the best of
34:18
creation is telling us, you know, be careful who you become
34:22
friends with that plays with our surroundings.
34:26
Because you mentioned the, the example of, you know, look at
34:29
your closest, Five friends. Yeah.
34:31
And that will Define who you are.
34:33
So if we want to be true, Muslim and inshallah, we are on top and
34:37
let's talk to him. Why is it critical?
34:39
I'm gonna ask you this because I know my circle of friends.
34:43
I'm sure you know, your circle of friends.
34:44
Very well. Why do you choose to be with
34:47
your circle of friends and not choose others?
34:50
Choose others to be? No, I mean I'm hot on your main
34:53
core like your main five what talking about the main fight.
34:55
I think it's got to be a balance of things.
34:57
Okay. Thousand.
34:58
Yeah, obviously there's the entertainment Factor.
35:00
Mmm. You enjoy spending time with
35:02
people because you enjoy the humor, enjoy their interests.
35:05
You enjoy their, their way of speaking stuff like that.
35:09
Obviously there's more to that they don't do things, which
35:12
leave a sour taste in your mouth.
35:13
Okay. You know your sometimes with
35:15
someone and they give off bad energy, the way they talk in.
35:20
Might swear a lot in my laugh like really obnoxiously just
35:26
things like that. That boy I can't with this guy
35:29
can only take him in doses. Has you know, you get people
35:32
like that but with your closest friends usually you don't feel
35:35
like that you feel like you could travel with them and
35:38
you'll be happy with them, for example.
35:40
Okay. But for me personally, I think
35:43
the friends I am close with our friends that I know I can I can
35:48
stand next to a lot on and I can mourn him a saying or their
35:52
friends that I can pray Salat to janazah at someone's funeral and
35:57
I'm with them side-by-side or I can go and we can Laughs around
36:01
the table and have Halal banter, basically.
36:05
And there's no difference in any environment or any scenario,
36:09
because I feel like they're my brothers, it's Brotherhood.
36:12
And when you do, when you say Brotherhood, the whole idea is
36:14
you as close to them, as you are with your own family.
36:17
Yes. And the trust that you have with
36:18
a true friend. Look at the friends that the
36:23
elevator, the Muslim had look at the companions.
36:26
You know, you mentioned that thing said yesterday about when
36:28
a moment of saying Islam was in karbala we always come back to
36:31
karbala but Mama Saint said to some of his companions before
36:35
they went out. Don't leave me alone.
36:37
You're my last friends, for example, right?
36:39
You mentioned, yes on the group. Look at minimum, in in and some
36:43
of the companions of the salon in Belmar, mean solomonic, Dad
36:47
above are made them commit, like the endless, some of the most
36:51
honorable companions. If there's one thing we know in
36:56
the history and Heritage of our religion, that a true friend
36:59
will never abandon you, you should never abandon a true
37:02
friend because they are hard to find.
37:05
They're like, pearls pearls are what they're hard to find.
37:08
But once you enter the treasure the Priceless.
37:11
Yeah. You can't put value on these
37:12
things so never I think we should never take advantage of
37:15
it. The last thing if you don't mind
37:17
me saying said, in my opinion, is we also have to talk to the
37:21
sisters. From the perspective of brothers
37:26
and inshallah as parents as well.
37:28
You know, I think for sisters is probably harder we're going to
37:31
be, I'm not gonna lie to you because sisters, nowadays have a
37:35
lot of societal expectations, a wider Society, visibly?
37:39
See a Muslim lady and say, that's what she's like, this is
37:42
what she looks like and beyond that as well within this sister
37:45
side. There's a lot of challenges
37:48
personality-wise. That's very true.
37:50
My wife went to a wedding recently, Leah.
37:53
And she was like, idea. I was the only hijabi they're
37:57
real. I guess.
37:57
What? You just represented the entire
37:59
thing. It was slim face crazy because
38:01
that's how the ident and identify, you know.
38:03
So they see. The hijab is true.
38:05
She's a Muslim, I was abroad, like a couple of weeks ago, mmm,
38:08
and the whole time I was in this country, never saw one lady with
38:11
a job. My wife said to me, she goes, I
38:13
feel like I'm representing the whole of the street moment of
38:16
the AMA, by the way, I dress and my job, and my interactions, you
38:20
know, but my point being is that If your sister and you're going
38:26
through a struggling phase with a job physically, yes, a good
38:31
sister will tell you how to improve it and a bad test will
38:34
tell you how to loosen your head job.
38:35
Well, how to remove it, like a lot of the social media
38:37
influences. We have nowadays, these if I job
38:39
influences and the same applies to Brothers when it comes to
38:42
your hijab on social media. When it comes, for example, to
38:45
the way you act in public and how you talk about people and
38:48
what sort of things you listen to what some places you go to
38:51
those kinds of People will take you away from Allah, stay away
38:55
from them, Don't Go Near them and it doesn't mean you cut them
38:57
off like that. Although in some cases
38:59
beneficial to, if they're that toxic.
39:02
But honestly, bro, keep far from people who take you far from God
39:06
and it sounds cliche. We don't want to sound preachy,
39:09
but you learn through experience, right?
39:11
Like, friends, who encouraged you to do things that you should
39:14
not be doing that, you know, your parents, if they could see.
39:17
You think they'll be are not proud of you.
39:18
How do you think? I'll a feels like it's if your
39:20
parents would feel ashamed of you.
39:22
Their son or daughter to be among such people.
39:25
Why you with it? Yeah.
39:26
Like just think twice. Yeah, I need like this.
39:29
We have to be very careful or it's nice.
39:31
It's nice to bring that up and I was very nice.
39:33
You bring up the example of him a saying yeah.
39:36
You know, I shall die. Karbala.
39:38
And as you as we are both saying, I think, almost every
39:41
podcast, we always have to refer back to our shore and karbala,
39:45
and on the B, the beautiful thing about a month was saying
39:48
his friends. Well, not just called us, how?
39:52
Hop, the were the only group that were called on sar-e-sang.
39:56
So they exceeded the expectations of what asada the
40:03
definition was a hobby. Truly is an Imam, Hussain wanted
40:06
to say that. I have never seen more loyal
40:08
companions than my own Companions and that's so true
40:12
because, you know, at that time, while his friends were, you
40:16
know, 72, that's the number we're going to have their own
40:19
karbala is that during the time of Imam Saying those who stayed
40:23
with him. They stayed with him because
40:25
they were loyal. Whereas the entire Muslim ummah
40:30
went to the side of falsehood, it was only a handful that state
40:34
on the side that is when a mom saying, said I when he turned
40:38
off the candle and I was the most beautiful, I love this, I
40:42
love it saying. Turn the candle off on the eve
40:46
of Oshawa. He said, you listen, you're
40:49
going to get rewarded with Paradise, whether you're with me
40:51
or not regardless, Please with you can leave while I turn off
40:54
the candle there's no shade of neighbor.
40:55
Your loyalty already proved your loyalty, come here.
40:58
I know you're willing to die. He turned off the candle, he
41:00
turned it back on, everyone was still there and if I'm not
41:03
mistake I'm not sure which companion but the response he
41:06
was given was that we would we would die and be cut up and
41:09
burned alive and live that life thousand times.
41:11
I'm going to go over with you saying Salam Allahu Allah it
41:17
just goes to show that this is what true friendship is in Islam
41:20
that we want that we For that. And if that's what it means, to
41:24
be loyal to your Imam, do we have that?
41:26
Because like we said, I love that podcast where we did with
41:29
Imran on Imam, mehdi very relevant year-long year-round.
41:35
But that point we made is like, when my mom turned off the
41:38
candle, it's kind of like what we're in now, in terms of Labor,
41:42
in what way he didn't the Imam is hidden from our sight.
41:45
Do you know what I mean? We have the chance to walk out
41:47
the tent but Frankly Speaking. Yes, yes, yes.
41:50
Well, we're going to stay with your mom or not because the Imam
41:52
expects us and when he calls upon us, are we going to be with
41:54
him or not? So how how true are we going to
41:58
be? Because if we can't be true to
42:00
Tom Dick and Harry, who's literally in our community or an
42:02
arm or school like this, then how will true we going to be to
42:05
the Imam Ali as Salam Salam. We'll look my license, real
42:09
Paris. I mean, I don't like Charlotte
42:11
and I think it's only fair. If I can say, you know, just to
42:15
add towards the end of the conversation is that, for
42:17
example, you know, someone may ask, you know, what makes a good
42:21
friend It's a bad friend. I'll give a few examples for
42:25
this is based on my experiences. Okay?
42:28
So there's no coming from Andy Hardy, software door.
42:30
You know what Islam emphasizes on?
42:33
Because I think most important conversation is that we can talk
42:36
from experience. Yeah.
42:37
As a place where the values added and I think my friends who
42:42
we should not be friends with all those yes, ultimately that
42:45
take us away from Allah. Yeah, I think you can still
42:49
sometimes have a good time and he can have a good friend
42:52
someone who No muslim her, I'll be very honest.
42:54
There's a few our friend with a Muslim and he is you know trying
42:58
to take you towards Haram. So what shaitaan and these are
43:02
examples for example you know what, let's go chill with.
43:04
We got lots of young, young young listeners, you know, let's
43:07
go, chill with, let's go show. What girls?
43:10
Number one. You know what?
43:11
Let's go. Let's go clubbing.
43:13
You know what I was at school? I was like what?
43:16
I think 1617, bro. I had friends at school would go
43:20
clubbing. Our friends.
43:22
Our school with go, you know, want to go smoke some weed.
43:26
I have friends at school. Who would go do some Madness,
43:29
tiny things. Like, bro, do not get influenced
43:32
by these people because they do, you know when I was young, yes,
43:35
the mom interrupting a when I was like 15 16.
43:38
Yeah, a lot of the friends are I had changed in that period And I
43:42
nearly got pulled into it. So I had friends of when I was
43:45
young, who are normal guys and then within a span of a year,
43:51
start robbing people front of me with knives.
43:56
And how did you become like this amethyst was influenced evidence
43:59
from other people. Yeah, and and I remember
44:01
thinking, like, what am I doing hanging out with people?
44:04
Like I remember seeing people get robbed on the street in
44:07
front of me. My people, I was with us at.
44:09
Why am I Endorsing this with my presence and it's hard to cut
44:14
off people like that. When you're in the moment,
44:17
especially in our culture for the Youth, you're going to get
44:21
backlash. People are going to judge you.
44:23
People are going to blame, you are going to say you're you, you
44:26
snaked it, and you wimped out and all of that they're always
44:29
smiling. Always some on do this with
44:31
that. You get a lot of backlash but
44:34
it's worth it. Who cares?
44:36
It's a memory from the past and all we have to do.
44:39
I think Is to remember that we're not.
44:43
Why we sought forgiveness for? Hmm is, is ultimately with Allah
44:48
that forgiveness. Do you know?
44:49
I mean, all we can do is just make a commitment to never
44:53
revisit that that past or that seeing all those types of people
44:56
in the future. That's it.
44:58
Try your best. And you know II feel.
45:00
I was blessed to be, you know, exposed to these things.
45:05
Yeah, because I would first hand.
45:07
See the ugliness of everything that's happening.
45:10
Number one, the best, the repercussions, the the The side
45:13
effects, the after-effects of the acts that you are doing.
45:16
Well, they ultimately destroy evil, you're going to end up,
45:18
you know, leaving Islam completely go.
45:22
You're going to end up becoming an open faucet.
45:23
That's, that's I think that's the worst thing that anyone can
45:25
ever do. Well, the other thing is, you
45:27
end up behind bars, bro. You'll end up in jail.
45:29
The and your friends, your circle of friends.
45:31
Are you going to take you to prison?
45:33
They're gonna take a Hell Fire. They can take it to General
45:35
shop. Because yeah, and and the best
45:37
friends are I will tell you. Now the best friends are those
45:40
who tell me what are the we why have you still prayed?
45:45
Are we all need that? Reminder.
45:47
And it's amazing to always have a friend who tells you brought a
45:50
lot of time soon. As he also sees me, he loves me
45:52
most of our view braids are sent away.
45:54
I sent thousands and that's what makes an amazing friend.
45:57
And I love when a friend calls me and says, say it, let's go.
46:01
Dark commit. A lot of another one.
46:03
A friend called me and says I meant, bro, let's go see our
46:05
together. You know, those things like you
46:08
did last year with me, did I? Yeah.
46:10
You encouraged me encouragement. Can use all the friends we
46:14
should ultimately want to have. In our lives because these are
46:17
the surroundings that inshallah we'll take us closer to a lot of
46:19
science to things. I wanna say, said before,
46:21
before, I'm done with with, with what I have to say for now, the
46:25
first is I just need a larger body who will love us look up to
46:28
and very respected eloquent and and idea speaker to a lot of us.
46:33
He says a story a lot of the time on the pulpit he goes when
46:37
I was in college I used to pray as to engage in debates and
46:41
there's a lot of my friends were non-muslim and that some of them
46:44
were even atheists. Because I would debate that with
46:47
them about the existence of God, he goes.
46:49
I remember one time I was jet skiing.
46:51
This is a really cool story because it was a jet ski.
46:54
Yeah you guys those 9:00 a.m. We were young.
46:57
He goes I got on the jet ski for the first time in my life.
47:00
He has four hours. I was having a blast hmm h 9
47:04
a.m. He goes came the time of War he
47:08
goes. I'll still on the jet ski else
47:10
fly. I was enjoying it because my
47:12
friends atheist friends have stop what you're doing.
47:15
I am Having fun. Is this your special time for
47:17
program? Pray Allah Allah, Allah Allah.
47:20
This guy is engaging with people don't even believe in God's
47:23
existence. But he's reminding them going
47:25
pray to your God. Like that is a good friend.
47:27
Yes. The second thing I want to say
47:29
is a lot of the time the best friendship can be found in
47:33
marriage. I truly believe that okay, you
47:37
sometimes can find so much shelter emotionally physically
47:42
spiritually in your spouse to such a degree where you feel
47:45
protection and you feel love the things that you tell a friend
47:49
you tell your spouse the things that you would confide in your
47:52
friend with you can confide in your spouse former spouse with
47:55
and if anything your spouse is committed to you.
47:58
Do you and your spouse? Of course, do you travel with
48:01
your spouse? Of course, do you deal with
48:03
money with your spouse? Of course these three conditions
48:05
that Mama sadaqah less lamb. Says I'm not mistaken was Imam
48:08
Sadiq that judge afraid you can judge your friend based off is
48:12
already automatically done with the spouse.
48:14
Mmm. So you can tell that your spouse
48:15
is with you, the closest thing to the closest thing to you.
48:19
And we know now, the Quran Allah Spandau, that indicates that
48:22
your spouse is like a protective clothing for you.
48:24
They will guard you. They'll protect you don't
48:26
shelter you but all you have to Do is build that relationship
48:29
with your spouse, all of us have to, and we have to make it to
48:32
such a degree where your spouse is your best friend.
48:35
The person who enjoys spending time with is your spouse as men,
48:39
we shouldn't come home and be like a long day at work.
48:42
I need my alone time 33 for hours scrolling one Tick, Tock,
48:46
avoiding the wife and kids, for example, you know, spend time
48:50
with your spouse, happy we doing, and you don't know how
48:53
long you've got together. How many years or last plan for
48:55
you to be together. These things are not in In it.
48:58
So it is something we have to work on an amazing.
49:01
Remind you giving me, and it's reminded me of something we have
49:05
time. Let me share.
49:06
Is that, you know, sometimes when you get married, you truly
49:10
find who your true friends really are.
49:12
Yeah. And I'm not talking about
49:14
someone's fancy fairytale wedding day.
49:16
I'm talking about true, you know, core wedding issues,
49:18
marriage issues. And for example, you know,
49:21
you've just been married and you know, your boys, they call you
49:24
24/7, when you coming now. Yeah.
49:26
Yeah. You know, through this and then
49:31
sometimes you realize just because you got married, just
49:34
because you can't kill us often, as you can with certain people,
49:37
they deserve you. That's was telling same guy.
49:40
Got married. He's forgotten about us and
49:43
that's it. You know, his is a fake friend.
49:46
That's the beautiful thing about on this compensation.
49:50
They can go either way. Even the friend tells you, for
49:52
example, you know what, who's wearing the Bell while a new
49:55
wife control. Your blog is true for all of us.
49:58
Come was with this year and then he'll make you feel so
50:00
downgraded. Then you go, you go home, you
50:02
tell your wife. You know what go you know you
50:06
stay at home on going. I'm going out to channel my
50:08
boys. Yeah.
50:09
And they go they're angry. And then they come out.
50:11
They chill with us and the Braves like Fierce.
50:13
He's angry what was wrong or how the issue my message.
50:15
You don't want me to come up come up and stay home.
50:17
Yeah, of course. Honestly stay home.
50:19
Yeah and then and then the other side of this conversation is,
50:22
you know, the friend you called? Hey can we link up today?
50:27
He goes, bro. I'm a whole Mom.
50:28
This is, for example, that phrase going to tell you roast
50:32
it with your wife if you're free.
50:33
Come on, let's link. Um, that's an amazing friend to
50:36
have by the way because there's no, like, you know, belittling
50:38
there isn't like, you know, questioning the guys in the
50:40
worst thing that can happen is a guy goes home to his wife.
50:42
He says, my friends are saying this and this and this look what
50:45
you're doing. Yeah and they end up blaming
50:47
their wife for something. That's nothing to do.
50:50
I have to do that for ya. So you don't want friends like
50:51
relevant and ends up. Ruining your relationship with
50:53
your boat, your friend and your spouse.
50:55
Yeah. What benefit is there any way
50:57
shall occur? Hi Dad.
51:00
I'll just crawling through Twitter.
51:02
Wonderful! Podcast Clips is doing numbers
51:04
on Twitter. Yeah.
51:08
What was the clip and I lie and I lie saying what a lot of
51:12
people. Very nice.
51:17
Everything looked up everything that we do this.
51:21
Well it's nice to see if you'd if people see our playground big
51:25
love, please share them. Basically I basically was saying
51:28
what she was trying to say, is follow us on Tick-Tock,
51:30
Instagram, subscribe to YouTube and subscribe.
51:33
And if you run a business and you want to support the, the
51:35
Pod, yes up, I'm the law. We will is actually an umbrella
51:40
was approaching sponsor, proposals or like, Conquest or
51:44
whatever we want to work with brands that are I think your
51:48
valuations audience, like run by.
51:51
She has is a big one for us and if it to the audience, either
51:54
like geographically or or like have a product, which is of use,
51:58
like if like Mike what I do in my job has no benefit.
52:01
So like, you know, for example, some people do completely random
52:04
things, we could become good friends with them collaboration.
52:07
Yeah. Hey, you know, speaking about
52:08
friends, that's we can watch it again cetera.
52:11
I remember I came across a comments on what he was on.
52:13
Should I don't know what someone wrote.
52:15
Maybe said you can take out now. I think wasn't it?
52:17
If podcast where someone was like or the podcast before he
52:20
was like, oh she was like Marshall as a brother or sister,
52:22
what? This podcasts has like a
52:26
platform where I feel apart of? I feel like all my friends as
52:30
they have no friends and for them this playing us that's what
52:32
gives them that connection and Supply.
52:34
You know, having the law. You know, the podcast, is there
52:37
anywhere from what I is? This is a community when online
52:39
community and there's so much love that we have the long as
52:42
you guys are the hamdulillah that we receive from you and we
52:45
want to, we want to keep keep it going.
52:48
We've made friends have the how many friends we've made through
52:51
the podcast. Every guest that we've drawn.
52:53
We've built such a great relationship with that true,
52:56
that's true. And, you know, all of our team
52:58
even behind the scenes. Well, I'm team of five six guys
53:01
on the lava comment, said you guys help me and many who have
53:04
many issues and lack friends, and people who they can talk to
53:08
watching your podcast, makes me feel socially.
53:11
I am sitting amongst friends Apollo lotion.
53:13
Perfectly fitting on Allah ya, bro.
53:16
That Allah bless them was their brother or sister by the way.
53:19
So I don't know how to reverse a his Anonymous.
53:21
Can't do that. That's the thing where you can
53:23
you can. Sometimes that's the thing.
53:25
Like you said in the beginning said you just yourself when you
53:29
when you're yourself it shows through.
53:31
There's a lot of people so fake. I wanted to say something and
53:35
this is tied into this point about being fake.
53:36
Yeah, I hate people who were fake Louis Vuitton.
53:44
I hate people, I hate people who are social climbers in the
53:47
community people who Network purely for the sake of
53:52
increasing their social status and reputation.
53:55
Yeah, there's a lot of people who befriend you use, you for
53:58
your name, your expertise befriend you.
54:00
So you'll have a lot of the organic says sharing your story
54:04
a lot further in your networks. That's what you are trying to
54:07
force. This is very true and there's a
54:09
lot of people who will befriend someone because they're well
54:11
known in the community. All those guys are Does the
54:13
speaker disguise? This will die.
54:15
He's Rich. He's whatever.
54:16
I'll add them as a friend them. I'll make sure I post a picture
54:19
with them and then I'll cut them off.
54:21
Why what's the point of doing that in trouble?
54:24
They have pure intentions. There's a lot of guys do that.
54:27
It's a lot of guys who do that. Like there's a lot of guys who
54:30
are very keen on just having someone's number and their
54:33
address book and say yeah is my boy just so they can look big
54:37
on, you know, I mean it all sounds like notary you know.
55:06
For example, can we do this? Let's do this.
55:13
Forget like butter think aside just a sculpture that you know,
55:17
you guys will message you and just straight-up talk business
55:21
or the need something straight, but obviously, look that's what
55:25
friends are for as well. Like, you know, it's something
55:27
you need, something, you can message you guys, no,
55:28
formalities are comfortable to us.
55:30
And, you know, all of that. I just comfortable to.
55:31
I just reminds me now, to be honest, you know, I'll handle.
55:34
I've been blessed with so much friends as I think I need to
55:38
better my own self or how I deal with some friends.
55:41
There's as many people haven't reached out to an event.
55:43
Very long time ago when we did that, no report calls a few
55:45
weeks ago. And obviously talked about the
55:46
situation about my people home and and how you interact with
55:50
people, you know, where I'm really bad at this.
55:54
So like there's so many guys who I know you're my.
55:59
Why am I have known for 10 15 years?
56:00
There's dozens of God, come to my mind.
56:03
Still haven't been to your house.
56:04
Yes. Yes.
56:13
Is that guys who have known 10-15 years?
56:15
Who I barely know them and they barely know me.
56:18
Okay, we know each other's names.
56:20
We've changed its each other grow up.
56:21
First time we met, we had no facial hair.
56:23
Now we got bits for example, last time we met, we were by
56:26
looking at what all this time has passed.
56:28
Some of us have got families. Now, still barely know anything
56:31
about each other and that's one thing about Community which we
56:34
can improve on, like the smaller communities.
56:37
I used to live in Birmingham when I studied for University.
56:39
One thing, I noticed in Birmingham, still quite a big
56:41
Community. Mmm, but when I lived in In
56:43
Birmingham, I realize that everyone was twice as close to
56:46
each other and they are in London.
56:47
That's because There's not as many people and they've got
56:51
forced to become friends with each other, so their
56:53
relationship, they have together.
56:54
Even with Chuck Norris was the Imam of the mosque.
56:57
Chicago was friends with everyone knows their names
56:59
knows, their birthdays, their kids names, it's because he's
57:02
developed a friendship with the community members table
57:04
something. All right, guys, did a nice
57:06
conversation, hope you've enjoyed as much as we have, as
57:08
always, a pleasure being here with you and with slowly, it's
57:12
not even slowly pretty fast approaching the month of
57:15
Muharram. So we want your suggestions.
57:17
What do you want to hear from us?
57:18
This marm. Last year we had I think 89
57:21
podcasts is really cool actually is nothing that about 66
57:25
something like that. But what do you want to hear
57:28
this Muharram? Is it you?
57:29
Do you want to hear more Scholars Jonah Hill retires and
57:33
special guests for their specific topics.
57:35
You want to hear about because that's something we're starting
57:37
to plan from now. So I think we really need to
57:39
know do we carry on with our weekly schedule or do we do it
57:43
like llamas on where we had more uploads than usual?
57:46
Yeah. That's a good point because it
57:47
was mixed feedback with Ramadan. But how did people some people
57:52
said it was a lot to keep up with and it's not enough to keep
57:55
up with his peepee. It came off schedule and people
57:57
a bit confused with it. No, I'll fucking just add there
58:01
and I woke up what commented on the conversation I had many who
58:04
say they like the fact that was extra episodes, but they were
58:08
not warned enough and many people who listen to our podcast
58:11
they like their schedule in their time.
58:13
They know when they're going to listen to it like on a Monday
58:17
morning. Yeah.
58:19
This is what we need everyone at home.
58:22
So give us the feedback message us inshaallah directly Instagram
58:26
more importantly if you've benefitted from today and
58:29
Charles, I halt really hope that you have this is the moment now
58:32
where you re-evaluate all the friends that you have and it
58:35
surely choose only to go and subscribe to the podcast
58:37
subscriber. All right guys, we'll see you
58:40
next week in Charlotte.