Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Think Like a Champion: with Dr. Mondo, Therapist + Mental Strength Coach
Transcript
- 0:04Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
- 0:08Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
- 0:12Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty.
- 0:17Speaker 1: This is pretty smart. I've been fascinated by extraordinary people
- 0:22Speaker 1: and talent since I was a little kid, mostly because
- 0:26Speaker 1: I think we're all extraordinary and not like in the
- 0:30Speaker 1: millennial we all deserve a trophy way in that greatness
- 0:34Speaker 1: lives inside all of us. We just have to know
- 0:37Speaker 1: how to tap into it. And that's one of the
- 0:39Speaker 1: reasons I've always loved sports. Sure, we all know that
- 0:43Speaker 1: if you want to get stronger, you have to train.
- 0:45Speaker 1: You gotta lift weights, cycle swim laps. But it's the
- 0:49Speaker 1: mental strength it takes to be extraordinary that really excites me.
- 0:57Speaker 1: I read a book years ago that changed the way
- 0:59Speaker 1: I think about all this. Yes, I'd highly recommend it.
- 1:01Speaker 1: It's short and super easy to digest. It's called The
- 1:04Speaker 1: Talent Code by Daniel Coyle. In it, he writes, although
- 1:08Speaker 1: talent feels and looks predestined, in fact, we have a
- 1:12Speaker 1: good deal of control over what skills we develop, and
- 1:16Speaker 1: we have more potential than we might ever presume to guess.
- 1:20Speaker 1: Many top performers are overlooked early on. Michael Jordan was
- 1:24Speaker 1: cut from his varsity team as a sophomore. Charles Darwin
- 1:27Speaker 1: was considered slow by teachers. Disney was fired from an
- 1:31Speaker 1: early job because he lacked imagination. Tolstoy, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein,
- 1:37Speaker 1: Maya Angelo, Lucille, Ball, James Baldwin, Winston Churchill. All of
- 1:43Speaker 1: these people constructed talent day by day. So how do
- 1:48Speaker 1: we do it? What habits do the world's most ambitious,
- 1:52Speaker 1: most successful are those that we deem extraordinary have in common.
- 1:57Speaker 1: My guest today knows about the psychology of greatness. Doctor
- 2:02Speaker 1: Mondo is a therapist, researcher, mental toughness coach who works
- 2:06Speaker 1: with athletes, celebrities, and executives to unlock their peak mental performance.
- 2:12Speaker 1: He's also the founder of cheat Code, a nonprofit determined
- 2:15Speaker 1: to end stigma and increase access to transformational mental health
- 2:19Speaker 1: services in underserved communities. And we agree on quite a lot.
- 2:25Speaker 1: One of those being he believes that greatness lives inside
- 2:28Speaker 1: all of us, we just have to do the work
- 2:30Speaker 1: to tap into it. So you have a background in
- 2:39Speaker 1: marriage and family therapy. Later in your career, you shifted
- 2:43Speaker 1: a little bit. Now your title is mental health coach.
- 2:46Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, mental health coach, mental strength coach, yeah.
- 2:49Speaker 1: Okay, and then you have a doctorate in psychology, doctor
- 2:53Speaker 1: in psychology, Yeah okay. So what does mental health coach mean?
- 2:58Speaker 2: Mental health coaching is very similar to therapy in terms
- 3:01Speaker 2: of how we do things, but there's a strong presence
- 3:03Speaker 2: or a strong focus on the present moment as well
- 3:06Speaker 2: as the future in terms of helping people be the
- 3:08Speaker 2: best versions of themselves in the present moment, but also
- 3:11Speaker 2: really set aggressive goals for the future.
- 3:13Speaker 1: So you mentioned athletes, I know you also work with
- 3:16Speaker 1: elite musicians, executives, people at the top of their game.
- 3:22Speaker 3: Yeah, love it.
- 3:24Speaker 1: So why do you want to work with this elite clientele?
- 3:28Speaker 4: What is it?
- 3:29Speaker 2: Athletes, entertainers, highly driven people. Those are my people because
- 3:33Speaker 2: I am one of them, you know. And I think
- 3:35Speaker 2: that I always felt like I wasn't the typical.
- 3:40Speaker 3: Therapist when I was in that role. You know, I
- 3:42Speaker 3: wore the suits and I.
- 3:44Speaker 2: Did had a private practice, was a professor, and it
- 3:47Speaker 2: just never fully fit kind of who I really am.
- 3:50Speaker 3: And this is who I really am.
- 3:52Speaker 2: And another part of me, I think too, is just
- 3:54Speaker 2: that I am I'm highly driven and I'm outside the box,
- 3:56Speaker 2: and so working with athletes and entertainers, founders, what you
- 4:00Speaker 2: find is that there's a level of work that they'll
- 4:04Speaker 2: put into their personal development and growth that if they're
- 4:08Speaker 2: really if they really buy in to you know, if
- 4:12Speaker 2: they really buy into me being the guy that can
- 4:13Speaker 2: take them to the end destination, they'll go as deep
- 4:17Speaker 2: as they need to, as far as they need to.
- 4:20Speaker 3: Our sessions will be in.
- 4:21Speaker 2: Some cases, you know, hours and hours long, because that's
- 4:25Speaker 2: the drive they have.
- 4:26Speaker 3: And so for me, it became almost an addicting sort.
- 4:30Speaker 2: Of work to work with people who had that sort
- 4:33Speaker 2: of drive, work ethic, passion, tension to detail, and yeah,
- 4:38Speaker 2: I think it's made me better to work with with
- 4:41Speaker 2: some of the greats.
- 4:43Speaker 1: How do you define great or greatness?
- 4:47Speaker 2: Winning championships, winning awards? I think is one way we
- 4:51Speaker 2: can define greatness. To me, I think that's still one dimensional.
- 4:56Speaker 2: The folks that I really want to work with are
- 5:00Speaker 2: they're committed to being great in every element of their lives,
- 5:04Speaker 2: and that's how I really define the graades.
- 5:06Speaker 3: I think it does.
- 5:07Speaker 2: Strive for excellence, Yeah, strive for excellence in everything you do.
- 5:11Speaker 2: In touch it's a standard of excellence, I believe, you know,
- 5:14Speaker 2: and I look at historical figures Muhammad Ali I think
- 5:17Speaker 2: of I love him as a boxer, I love him
- 5:21Speaker 2: more as a humanitarian. The level of excellence that he
- 5:24Speaker 2: brought to sport was unparalleled level of excellence and outside
- 5:29Speaker 2: the box thinking that he brought to self promotion, all
- 5:32Speaker 2: the things that now we see. You know, obviously he
- 5:34Speaker 2: paved the way for this social media generation we're in now,
- 5:38Speaker 2: but he also brought that same tenacity to his work
- 5:42Speaker 2: as a humanitarian.
- 5:43Speaker 3: He left out. He sat out some.
- 5:46Speaker 2: Of the most critical years of his career to protest
- 5:49Speaker 2: the Vietnam War. So I look at greatness really as
- 5:54Speaker 2: it being not just I want to be great at
- 5:56Speaker 2: my sport or my thing I do, but I want
- 5:58Speaker 2: to be great in everything, true greatness.
- 6:01Speaker 1: So I heard you mention in a separate interview, Jay Z,
- 6:06Speaker 1: Kobe Bryant, and Michael Jordan as people you admire. What
- 6:12Speaker 1: are those three men have in common?
- 6:15Speaker 4: What's the through line for you?
- 6:17Speaker 2: I would say surrogate father figures wow in a way. Yeah,
- 6:21Speaker 2: you know, I think I've realized that more as I've
- 6:26Speaker 2: reflected on it, and I would say the three of them.
- 6:30Speaker 3: There's something inside.
- 6:31Speaker 2: Of me that I have this ability to just lock
- 6:35Speaker 2: in and if I want something, it's like I'm just
- 6:37Speaker 2: going to push all the way. And that's what I
- 6:40Speaker 2: saw in especially in Kobe and Michael and jay I.
- 6:44Speaker 2: Just I saw a lot of this swag that I
- 6:47Speaker 2: think it invited me and many others to embrace within ourselves.
- 6:53Speaker 2: But also too, I say that the surrogate father part
- 6:55Speaker 2: because you know, I grew up without a father figure.
- 6:58Speaker 2: I was raised by a single parent mom, and in
- 7:01Speaker 2: many ways, you know saying only child, latchkey kid. In
- 7:04Speaker 2: many ways, I was going home every day and the
- 7:07Speaker 2: people I was watching on you know, in the videos,
- 7:10Speaker 2: the rap videos, and also you know in the sports world,
- 7:13Speaker 2: they were guiding a lot of they were modeling a
- 7:16Speaker 2: lot of the principles that I was taking in when
- 7:18Speaker 2: I was attracted to that.
- 7:20Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so interesting that you say kind of like
- 7:23Speaker 1: father figures, because I get a lot of emails from
- 7:29Speaker 1: young girls that are wanting to be journalists or wanting
- 7:32Speaker 1: to be in entertainment in some way.
- 7:35Speaker 4: And.
- 7:37Speaker 1: A common thing I hear is like I'm looking for
- 7:39Speaker 1: a mentor, and I didn't have a mentor until later,
- 7:45Speaker 1: but I read biographies and memori like Barbara Walters was
- 7:48Speaker 1: my mentor. You know, I've never met Barbara. There's something
- 7:52Speaker 1: so powerful about choosing somebody or a few people and
- 7:57Speaker 1: modeling even if you've never met them. I don't think
- 8:00Speaker 1: we talk about that enough as being such like a
- 8:03Speaker 1: great north Star.
- 8:04Speaker 2: I think mentorship in general is a cheat code to success.
- 8:08Speaker 2: I think that to your point, yeah, I mean, I
- 8:12Speaker 2: you know again, I think we've talked before offline just
- 8:14Speaker 2: about broadcasting and Bob Costas and you know, and loving
- 8:18Speaker 2: and the greatest, the greatest that's undebatable talk about, yeah,
- 8:25Speaker 2: you know, and I think so much of you know,
- 8:29Speaker 2: even for me growing up, like and I wanted to
- 8:32Speaker 2: be a sports broadcaster as a kid, and I did
- 8:34Speaker 2: for a small window of time in my youth, you know,
- 8:38Speaker 2: live some of that dream out. And a lot of
- 8:40Speaker 2: what I was taught was just from watching and listening
- 8:44Speaker 2: to your point, right, and watching the interviewers, and watching
- 8:47Speaker 2: Larry Kings and watching the roy Firestones and seeing how
- 8:51Speaker 2: they were able to just be who they were, and
- 8:54Speaker 2: that I think so much of what we don't realize
- 8:57Speaker 2: to your point in mentorship is modeling that we're model
- 9:00Speaker 2: whether we want to or not. And that's why I
- 9:01Speaker 2: think when you do have kids, they tell you, you know,
- 9:04Speaker 2: obviously it's important what you say, it's more important what
- 9:07Speaker 2: you do. That's what you're modeling to your kids. And
- 9:09Speaker 2: so I think in that way, it's interesting that we
- 9:11Speaker 2: don't have more intention around picking someone to watch and study.
- 9:16Speaker 2: I've also found that as being a way I've reverse
- 9:18Speaker 2: engineered a lot of things I've wanted to do. Right, Like,
- 9:20Speaker 2: if there's something I wanted to do, I would just say, okay,
- 9:22Speaker 2: well who's done it. Let me just study them, Let
- 9:25Speaker 2: me study their process, let me study how they approach things,
- 9:28Speaker 2: their mentality, their mindset, and reverse engineer that. So I
- 9:32Speaker 2: think it's a great point, and you got me rolling
- 9:35Speaker 2: on that now. I want to say too that I
- 9:37Speaker 2: think that when I love mentoring because I think probably
- 9:41Speaker 2: because of the father wounds I had and how important
- 9:43Speaker 2: it was to have a.
- 9:44Speaker 3: Village of people raising me.
- 9:47Speaker 2: And I always tell people it's like, you know, this
- 9:49Speaker 2: current now I sound old to say this current generation
- 9:53Speaker 2: will say gen zers, there's a lot of pressure to
- 9:57Speaker 2: act like you've made it already and just kind of
- 9:59Speaker 2: like fake it and I'll tell you. For me personally,
- 10:04Speaker 2: I never want to be in that position, Like there
- 10:06Speaker 2: are still things i want to grow and do in
- 10:09Speaker 2: my life that I'm.
- 10:11Speaker 3: Going to seek out mentorship.
- 10:12Speaker 2: I'm going to find someone to either model it after
- 10:16Speaker 2: on who I watch from Afar or I'm going to
- 10:19Speaker 2: even more importantly ask someone. And I think that's one
- 10:22Speaker 2: of the things I always tell young people is.
- 10:27Speaker 3: What's the worst Someone could say? That was what my
- 10:28Speaker 3: mom told me. What's the worst? They could say? No,
- 10:30Speaker 3: what do you lose?
- 10:31Speaker 2: And so why not reach out to the people that
- 10:34Speaker 2: you admire and say, you know, I'd love to grab
- 10:38Speaker 2: ten minutes of your time, I'd love to I'd love
- 10:42Speaker 2: to be mentored by you. I think that we often
- 10:45Speaker 2: bypass that and feel like we have to act like
- 10:48Speaker 2: we're already there and we're missing so many rich opportunities
- 10:51Speaker 2: to grow.
- 10:53Speaker 4: Can I push back?
- 10:54Speaker 3: Little? Sure?
- 10:57Speaker 4: Part of me feels like.
- 11:00Speaker 1: People come and ask for mentorship from people without doing
- 11:05Speaker 1: some of the work themselves.
- 11:07Speaker 3: Mmm.
- 11:09Speaker 1: I think if you're going to ask someone to be
- 11:11Speaker 1: your mentor to ask for their time, you better make
- 11:14Speaker 1: sure that you're putting in the time and the work
- 11:16Speaker 1: to show them. Agreed, Right, Yeah, did I take that?
- 11:20Speaker 4: Was that a tangent?
- 11:22Speaker 3: I don't believe so.
- 11:24Speaker 2: I mean, I think to myself, I have one person
- 11:27Speaker 2: that I have taken under my wing, and I had
- 11:30Speaker 2: a lot of people approach me, and this one person.
- 11:33Speaker 2: His name's Manu. The reason that I took Manu under
- 11:36Speaker 2: my wing is because Manu grinds that he works, and
- 11:40Speaker 2: I know I can count on he's put the work
- 11:42Speaker 2: into your point. So I don't think that we're all
- 11:45Speaker 2: entitled to mentorship. And that's where so much of it's hustle.
- 11:49Speaker 2: So much of it is manifesting by working hard and
- 11:53Speaker 2: making things happen and being intentional and then putting yourself
- 11:55Speaker 2: in those positions to make the asks.
- 11:57Speaker 1: Yeah, well said, what do you think is a common
- 12:00Speaker 1: misconception about successful.
- 12:03Speaker 2: People that success brings happiness? It just doesn't, you know.
- 12:09Speaker 2: I think I wish it did. I wish it did.
- 12:12Speaker 2: And I say that obviously from my own personal experience
- 12:15Speaker 2: of just I think that's something in life that I've
- 12:18Speaker 2: seen people climb very high mountains. I've climbed some high
- 12:20Speaker 2: mountains myself. We often push through the pain of the
- 12:26Speaker 2: climb for this belief that will be happier. When we
- 12:31Speaker 2: get there, we may be more fulfilled, but I don't
- 12:34Speaker 2: know if we're going to be happy. I think, you know,
- 12:36Speaker 2: happiness is such an interesting emotion, feeling, you know, it's
- 12:39Speaker 2: something that we're all driven towards. We want to be happy,
- 12:42Speaker 2: we want to be fulfilled. But I think that a
- 12:44Speaker 2: lot of times we believe that success will get us there,
- 12:50Speaker 2: and then when it doesn't, we get devastated and we
- 12:54Speaker 2: chase the next mountain, or we pause and really lean
- 12:57Speaker 2: into Okay, what am I really searching for here? So
- 13:02Speaker 2: I think that's the thing I see. I think that,
- 13:03Speaker 2: you know, there's so many people that are success. And
- 13:05Speaker 2: the other thing, too, is that it's so lonely that
- 13:08Speaker 2: the more successful you become, the more lonely it gets.
- 13:12Speaker 1: Kobe Bryant always talked about that.
- 13:14Speaker 3: It's lonely at the top.
- 13:16Speaker 2: I think, you know, I progressively watch you know, people
- 13:19Speaker 2: I've worked with experienced success, and many, not all, but
- 13:24Speaker 2: many come from humble beginnings. And you think that every
- 13:28Speaker 2: time you climb a ladder of success, in many ways,
- 13:32Speaker 2: it becomes another distancing mechanism that's hard for you to
- 13:35Speaker 2: connect with the people that you grew up around and
- 13:37Speaker 2: with for athletes, it's common that they'll feel, you know,
- 13:43Speaker 2: I don't know that I can go back to where
- 13:44Speaker 2: I'm from because everyone's going to hit me up and
- 13:46Speaker 2: ask me for something, or you know, I'm seeing in
- 13:49Speaker 2: this light like I'm an ATM machine or I'm the
- 13:52Speaker 2: person that's able to make things happen.
- 13:55Speaker 3: So that parts lonely and then too.
- 13:57Speaker 2: I think in some ways, the more successful you are,
- 14:01Speaker 2: you get into two rooms full of people that may
- 14:03Speaker 2: not share the same values, may not have the same
- 14:05Speaker 2: passions that you have, and there's this this fear that
- 14:10Speaker 2: you can't trust people. And I see that happen a
- 14:12Speaker 2: lot when people are successful. So there's a lot of
- 14:15Speaker 2: downsides to success. It's not to say that we.
- 14:18Speaker 1: Should Is it success or is it fame?
- 14:21Speaker 2: I think that the way I'm talking about it probably
- 14:24Speaker 2: as you, Yeah, that's a good point, like it. There's
- 14:27Speaker 2: a lot of fame mixed with that version of success,
- 14:30Speaker 2: especially with the athletes being in the probably hearing yeah,
- 14:34Speaker 2: although again I don't know. I think in this world,
- 14:37Speaker 2: the more success we have, the more we work, the
- 14:40Speaker 2: more that we stretch ourselves, the more that we have
- 14:42Speaker 2: endless opportunities and if we're not practicing how to say
- 14:46Speaker 2: no to certain things, then it can be ultimately unfulfilling
- 14:51Speaker 2: in some ways.
- 14:52Speaker 1: Yeah, the happiness component I see no matter similar to
- 14:58Speaker 1: what you're saying, Like, no matter who I'm interviewing, it
- 15:01Speaker 1: feels like a ladder to success or a ladder to happiness,
- 15:04Speaker 1: and then it's not.
- 15:06Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 15:07Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that success in general too, at
- 15:10Speaker 2: least when I think of it, I think of it,
- 15:12Speaker 2: it's often an individualistic concept. So I think that in
- 15:16Speaker 2: general that's the reason why it doesn't lead to happiness,
- 15:19Speaker 2: because true happiness, in my experience, leads to service, being
- 15:23Speaker 2: in service to others, contributing to something that's larger than yourself.
- 15:27Speaker 2: So certainly, if those are the goals you have and
- 15:29Speaker 2: you measure your success by that, then maybe you will
- 15:32Speaker 2: actually be really happy. But I think in many things
- 15:35Speaker 2: that we seek to do, the levels we look to
- 15:38Speaker 2: climb are often about self, and I think that's probably
- 15:41Speaker 2: why they're so hollow.
- 15:45Speaker 1: You talk about guiding principles of greatness on your podcast.
- 15:49Speaker 1: You say belief, grind, self expression, intuition, and training the brain,
- 15:55Speaker 1: and then you talk about how grind is a principle
- 15:57Speaker 1: that's easy to control. Of the other principles, what would
- 16:02Speaker 1: you say is the most challenging to practice.
- 16:05Speaker 2: I would say intuition and self expression are very challenging
- 16:08Speaker 2: to I'd say self expression is the hardest. I just
- 16:11Speaker 2: think that, you know, again, it's not about becoming someone
- 16:14Speaker 2: you've yet to become.
- 16:16Speaker 3: Often in order to.
- 16:17Speaker 2: Be successful, to be who it is you want to
- 16:20Speaker 2: be in this world, it's about getting back to who
- 16:22Speaker 2: you always were at your core and.
- 16:26Speaker 3: Expressing that true self. Man, that is hard to.
- 16:31Speaker 2: Do because we have so much by the time that
- 16:34Speaker 2: we get to be in our twenties and thirties and beyond,
- 16:38Speaker 2: we've had so much programming into us from parents, school,
- 16:44Speaker 2: you know, community, society at large that's unconsciously shifted us
- 16:52Speaker 2: away from our natural state of being who we are
- 16:55Speaker 2: at our core. And that principle of self expression being
- 16:58Speaker 2: tied to greatness is that the greats at some point
- 17:02Speaker 2: either just stopped giving of you know what, or they
- 17:07Speaker 2: just had more of an inclination to be that way
- 17:09Speaker 2: from the start. They didn't mind if they looked different
- 17:14Speaker 2: by expressing themselves. They didn't care if they stood out,
- 17:16Speaker 2: They didn't care if it wasn't.
- 17:18Speaker 3: Cool or not.
- 17:19Speaker 2: They just felt this swagger to be themselves. And I
- 17:24Speaker 2: think that when you look at performance, so much of
- 17:28Speaker 2: performance and so much of greatness is tied back again
- 17:30Speaker 2: to self expression. I just think it's intuition's hard to
- 17:34Speaker 2: harness because we don't practice that a lot in our
- 17:36Speaker 2: culture and society, but self expression is extremely challenging to
- 17:41Speaker 2: fully embrace.
- 17:43Speaker 1: So the grind is something that I think about a lot. Yeah,
- 17:48Speaker 1: I think it's important to become great at anything, no
- 17:51Speaker 1: matter what you want to do. And at the same time,
- 17:57Speaker 1: sometimes it comes from a wound.
- 18:00Speaker 4: Times it leads to burn out.
- 18:02Speaker 3: M M.
- 18:04Speaker 1: How do you see successful people balancing the grind that
- 18:10Speaker 1: you see it taking and also having a full balanced
- 18:15Speaker 1: I don't know if that word balanced is real, but
- 18:17Speaker 1: a full life I think that that.
- 18:21Speaker 2: You know, by nature, most really successful people, they have
- 18:27Speaker 2: one area of their life they're often neglecting.
- 18:30Speaker 3: You know. Interesting, That's just my thought. You know. It's
- 18:33Speaker 3: kind of like that chair over there.
- 18:34Speaker 2: It's got three really sturdy legs and there's one back leg.
- 18:37Speaker 2: It's like, you sit down, what's going on this back leg?
- 18:39Speaker 2: I might fall I might fall down, and that could
- 18:42Speaker 2: be health.
- 18:43Speaker 4: That's my love life.
- 18:44Speaker 3: There you go.
- 18:45Speaker 2: I was gonna say, it could be relationships, right, it
- 18:48Speaker 2: could be this one area that everything else is super
- 18:51Speaker 2: sturdy and excellent, right, and there's this one area we
- 18:54Speaker 2: have to be just beyond intentional to the point that
- 18:57Speaker 2: it's annoying.
- 18:58Speaker 3: Right.
- 18:58Speaker 2: Like I always say, people that work with me and
- 19:01Speaker 2: on my teams, they know, like my biggest pet peeve
- 19:03Speaker 2: is if it's not on the calendar, it's not happening.
- 19:06Speaker 2: I always say, like, it's on the calendar, then you
- 19:08Speaker 2: can't hold me account. But if I accept that invite
- 19:10Speaker 2: or I initiate that you know that that invite, then
- 19:14Speaker 2: it's happening. And I think the same goes for in
- 19:17Speaker 2: order to be super successful, you have to make time,
- 19:21Speaker 2: but you have to be really intentional about how you
- 19:24Speaker 2: make that time, and you need to put it on
- 19:26Speaker 2: the calendar and you need so for me, that's going
- 19:28Speaker 2: to be actually finding the space and time to get
- 19:33Speaker 2: back to you know, exercising and things like that.
- 19:36Speaker 3: And I think that's.
- 19:38Speaker 2: Where you know, you'll see some really successful people that
- 19:40Speaker 2: have the balance and they're just really regimented about how
- 19:44Speaker 2: they create that time and they and they make those
- 19:46Speaker 2: commitments and they never and they won't break them.
- 19:49Speaker 1: When I interview athletes, they talk about visualization so much.
- 19:54Speaker 1: People across industries will talk to me about it, but
- 19:57Speaker 1: particularly athletes.
- 19:59Speaker 4: I've I used to do this. I still do it.
- 20:01Speaker 1: But I used to do this, and I didn't recognize
- 20:04Speaker 1: I was doing it when I first started interviewing people,
- 20:06Speaker 1: because I was so nervous, and I would lay in
- 20:09Speaker 1: bed and I'd play out the interview in my mind,
- 20:12Speaker 1: and sometimes the day like that next day, the interview
- 20:15Speaker 1: would go as I visualized it. I would play out
- 20:18Speaker 1: their answers, even though I'd never met them. Wow, And
- 20:21Speaker 1: sometimes it would go differently.
- 20:22Speaker 2: Is it going how you expected it to do it?
- 20:25Speaker 2: I'm sure you were kept up last night by this interview.
- 20:28Speaker 4: It's hard when it's an hour long, right.
- 20:30Speaker 3: These were more.
- 20:30Speaker 1: Junket interviews, but I did visualize today. I don't visualize
- 20:35Speaker 1: as much elsewhere, but for interviews I always have, which
- 20:40Speaker 1: I thought was so interesting when I hear other people
- 20:42Speaker 1: talk about it. What does it look like for the
- 20:45Speaker 1: people that you coach? What does visualization look like for them?
- 20:49Speaker 2: I'm always looking at how do we do things the
- 20:51Speaker 2: most sufficiently and the most effective. If there's a level
- 20:55Speaker 2: of better than I want that level, and I'm just
- 20:58Speaker 2: I feel like that's my duty. With my role with athletes,
- 21:01Speaker 2: I say, it's like I have a duty to know
- 21:03Speaker 2: the best practices that exists. So we talk about visualization.
- 21:07Speaker 2: I need to know if there's a way to take
- 21:09Speaker 2: visualization to the next level, then I need to know
- 21:11Speaker 2: about it. So for me, what that LEDs tell us, Yeah,
- 21:14Speaker 2: what that led to was discovering a brain based neurophysiological
- 21:20Speaker 2: technique and concept known as brain spotting. So brain spotting
- 21:24Speaker 2: is visualization, but it's much more than that. And so
- 21:28Speaker 2: with athletes that I work with, what we will do
- 21:32Speaker 2: is we will put bilateral music on them. So bilateral
- 21:35Speaker 2: music is if you had headphones on, the music that
- 21:38Speaker 2: would be panning from one ear to the other, and
- 21:42Speaker 2: that would be almost like gently nudging your brain to
- 21:46Speaker 2: go into your deep limbic system, so you bypass the
- 21:50Speaker 2: thinking part of you, the fight flight or freeze part
- 21:53Speaker 2: of you, to oversimplify all of it, and you'd go
- 21:56Speaker 2: into your deep limbic system. Your deep limbic system is
- 21:58Speaker 2: your body and connecting with felt memories and senses. So
- 22:04Speaker 2: the music would start and then we would also have
- 22:07Speaker 2: a therapeutic connection that would help kind of guide you
- 22:11Speaker 2: in a direction towards making that visualization not just something
- 22:16Speaker 2: you see but something you feel. And so that's what
- 22:18Speaker 2: we do with athletes, is we try to get them
- 22:21Speaker 2: to see the game playing out, see it that's playing
- 22:24Speaker 2: out in a way that isn't just seeing it, but
- 22:28Speaker 2: they're feeling and they're going through that experience. Or could
- 22:31Speaker 2: we take the swagger that you feel in one area
- 22:34Speaker 2: of your life and bring it to the batter's box
- 22:37Speaker 2: and trying to cross up some of those neural connections.
- 22:39Speaker 2: So it's a it's a lot of jazz, it's a
- 22:41Speaker 2: lot of just fun. But those are I think when
- 22:44Speaker 2: I think now visualization, I think that we've we've progressed
- 22:47Speaker 2: in a way that we understand the brain so much more.
- 22:50Speaker 2: We have virtual reality, we have augmented reality. It's going
- 22:53Speaker 2: in this direction where visualization is being taken to a
- 22:56Speaker 2: whole new degree in how we train the brain.
- 22:59Speaker 4: That's really cool to hear.
- 23:01Speaker 3: You have to try it sometimes. Yeah.
- 23:06Speaker 1: This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. Do you ever
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- 23:32Speaker 1: And while we associate burnout with work, that's not the
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- 23:56Speaker 1: through with my therapist, I realized my burnout was about
- 23:58Speaker 1: saying yes when I really wanted to say no.
- 24:03Speaker 4: But identifying that stressor.
- 24:05Speaker 1: Can be the hardest part. Over the last three years,
- 24:08Speaker 1: I've been working with a therapist who practices Gestalt therapy,
- 24:12Speaker 1: which is an approach that centered on increasing a person's awareness, freedom,
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- 24:19Speaker 1: on the present moment rather than past experiences, and in
- 24:23Speaker 1: gestalt therapy, you are always in relationship to something, to
- 24:27Speaker 1: another person, to ourselves, even the environment. To be in
- 24:32Speaker 1: relationship allows us to know our own experience in a
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- 25:25Speaker 1: Doctor Bob Rotella was at first a golf coach, I think,
- 25:31Speaker 1: and he ended up becoming a sports psychologist. He worked
- 25:36Speaker 1: with Lebron and he said, people by and large become
- 25:39Speaker 1: what they think about themselves.
- 25:42Speaker 4: That quote hits me every time.
- 25:44Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what happened for you there? Yeah?
- 25:47Speaker 1: I always think that part of doing it is just
- 25:50Speaker 1: believing that you can And I don't know how how
- 25:55Speaker 1: you can strengthen that muscle it's confidence, right.
- 26:01Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's you know, it's that unshakeable faith,
- 26:04Speaker 2: that unshakeable belief, which I believe is one of the
- 26:08Speaker 2: characteristics we talked about in breaking down the psychology of greatness. Yeah,
- 26:13Speaker 2: you know, and I do think that faith is a
- 26:15Speaker 2: muscle we can strengthen. You know, I think that faith
- 26:17Speaker 2: obviously conjures up spirituality.
- 26:20Speaker 3: But you know, I think when you're I happen to.
- 26:23Speaker 2: Be a Christian and I've you know, there's a story
- 26:25Speaker 2: in the Bible about the faith of the Centurion and
- 26:28Speaker 2: Jesus said, this is the greatest faith I've ever seen,
- 26:31Speaker 2: was the faith of the Centurion. And you look at
- 26:35Speaker 2: the example of that, and that's a powerful story for me.
- 26:37Speaker 3: That guides me a lot.
- 26:39Speaker 2: Is this belief that I can have very little indication
- 26:45Speaker 2: that something's going to happen and I'm going to just
- 26:48Speaker 2: know with certainty, not in my mind, but not in
- 26:52Speaker 2: my heart, but in my gut that this is the truth.
- 26:56Speaker 2: And I think that you can and shift more towards
- 27:02Speaker 2: that because I think here's the thing, like there's a
- 27:04Speaker 2: truth inside your gut that tells you what it is
- 27:08Speaker 2: that you're called to do, Like this, right, something that
- 27:11Speaker 2: and the more that we learn to tap into that,
- 27:14Speaker 2: acknowledge it, experience it, trust it, whether that's through meditation,
- 27:19Speaker 2: brain spotting, whatever it may be. The more we tap
- 27:21Speaker 2: into it and experience it, sit with it, the more
- 27:24Speaker 2: peace we find in it. And then that creates faith
- 27:28Speaker 2: that we take forward with us in our journey to
- 27:32Speaker 2: do the things that we feel we're meant to do.
- 27:34Speaker 2: And I think that's where that faith and belief can
- 27:36Speaker 2: be cultivated.
- 27:38Speaker 1: So faith, someone doesn't have it, someone struggles with it,
- 27:43Speaker 1: whether it's faith in self or faith in a higher power,
- 27:47Speaker 1: faith that everything will be okay. Where do you start
- 27:51Speaker 1: to cultivate that?
- 27:52Speaker 3: That's a great question.
- 27:54Speaker 2: I think that you know, there's some there's some premises
- 27:58Speaker 2: that I have in answering this, though all expose right,
- 28:00Speaker 2: It's like, obviously I already exposed that I do have faith.
- 28:03Speaker 3: It's so some of.
- 28:04Speaker 2: That's being informed by that. Yeah, but I don't know,
- 28:08Speaker 2: and this is probably a largely inform of that. I
- 28:10Speaker 2: just I got this feeling and belief deep in my
- 28:13Speaker 2: guts that everyone's got a purpose, everyone's got a calling.
- 28:16Speaker 2: That people when they're born in this world, they're born
- 28:18Speaker 2: inherently good they're born predispositioned to do something significant, to
- 28:25Speaker 2: have an impact on the greater good of people. So
- 28:27Speaker 2: I think that's inside of everyone, and I think that essentially,
- 28:31Speaker 2: when you frame it that way, I guess it's more
- 28:33Speaker 2: of a listening and an awakening to that is where
- 28:36Speaker 2: faith can come.
- 28:37Speaker 3: From for someone.
- 28:38Speaker 2: So if I work with someone, I'll never for me,
- 28:41Speaker 2: you know, faith in a higher power that's such a
- 28:44Speaker 2: personal thing, Like even if I explain to you why
- 28:47Speaker 2: I believe in what I believe in, it would never
- 28:49Speaker 2: be very convincing, probably to you, because it's very experiential
- 28:52Speaker 2: for me. So I don't think it's necessarily about bringing
- 28:55Speaker 2: people to that higher power faith. I think it's more about, though,
- 28:59Speaker 2: especially in the work I do, helping people really listen
- 29:02Speaker 2: to what they know to be true inside, about what
- 29:06Speaker 2: they're called to do, what strengths they have, what gifts
- 29:09Speaker 2: they have. I call it purpose calling, strengths and vision PCSV.
- 29:14Speaker 2: So it's like, what's your purpose, what you're calling, what
- 29:17Speaker 2: are your strengths, and what's the vision that you've been
- 29:19Speaker 2: given of how you're going to play that out into
- 29:21Speaker 2: this world. I think the more clarity you have on that,
- 29:24Speaker 2: the more faith that it creates. So I think that
- 29:26Speaker 2: if you don't have it, you know, we need people,
- 29:29Speaker 2: We need guides to sit with us and pour love
- 29:32Speaker 2: into us to help us see that or sometimes just
- 29:35Speaker 2: reflect back what they see in us.
- 29:38Speaker 1: That is so powerful when people see you sometimes when
- 29:42Speaker 1: you don't see yourself.
- 29:44Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think that, you know, you go back
- 29:46Speaker 2: to some of those other elements of faith.
- 29:48Speaker 3: How do you have faith it?
- 29:49Speaker 2: I think you said, like everything's going to be okay,
- 29:51Speaker 2: or you know, a lot of those are attachment related
- 29:56Speaker 2: things that you know, our primary attachment with our parents
- 30:01Speaker 2: gives us a sense that everything's going to be okay,
- 30:03Speaker 2: or that we're capable.
- 30:04Speaker 3: We have what it takes.
- 30:06Speaker 2: So when people have wounding around that, it makes them
- 30:09Speaker 2: very skeptical to believe that about themselves and of life
- 30:15Speaker 2: and of the attention the intentions of others that are
- 30:17Speaker 2: attempting to do that. But it's often the only thing
- 30:20Speaker 2: that can heal that is a corrective emotional experience that
- 30:24Speaker 2: comes in relationship with someone else pouring.
- 30:26Speaker 3: That back in.
- 30:28Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 30:29Speaker 1: When I read books about people who are great or
- 30:32Speaker 1: from sports psychologists, there is this like this sort of
- 30:38Speaker 1: repetitive thing that I hear that's it's less about avoiding
- 30:43Speaker 1: adversity and way more about how somebody responds to it.
- 30:48Speaker 1: So what's important in responding.
- 30:51Speaker 4: To adversity.
- 30:53Speaker 2: Leaning into it? I think you know the way too,
- 30:56Speaker 2: It is through it. This is something we say over
- 30:58Speaker 2: and over and the neuropsychology sessions is that, let's you know,
- 31:04Speaker 2: naturally we're leaning into uncomfortable things that the brain is
- 31:08Speaker 2: set up to avoid.
- 31:10Speaker 3: And so I think that it's leaning in.
- 31:15Speaker 2: And it's also realizing that your identity and your truth
- 31:21Speaker 2: about who you are never can be altered by the outcome.
- 31:26Speaker 2: And when we start to understand that the truth of
- 31:31Speaker 2: who we are is not going to be impacted by
- 31:34Speaker 2: whether or not we succeed or fail, win or lose,
- 31:38Speaker 2: it becomes a lot easier to show up and play
- 31:39Speaker 2: the game, shoot our shot, take chances because we know
- 31:42Speaker 2: again it goes back to that faith of knowing who
- 31:45Speaker 2: we are and what we have to offer. And I
- 31:47Speaker 2: think that you know, a great contribution was made in
- 31:50Speaker 2: this space too with Ryan Holliday's book The Obstacle is
- 31:53Speaker 2: the Way and how again the way too, it is
- 31:56Speaker 2: through it.
- 31:56Speaker 3: It's this idea that no I yearned for failure.
- 32:01Speaker 2: I learned for pivots because in the pivot, I get
- 32:04Speaker 2: closer to my destination. In the pivot, I learn more
- 32:07Speaker 2: about myself. And again, not all of that is going
- 32:10Speaker 2: to be the perspective we have in the midst of
- 32:13Speaker 2: it and the adversity. Sometimes we got to just survive
- 32:15Speaker 2: that thing and then get on the other side and
- 32:17Speaker 2: pull over and reflect a bit, and then we get there.
- 32:20Speaker 3: But I think that's important.
- 32:22Speaker 4: I really love what you said, and you're right.
- 32:25Speaker 1: So when your work is performance based, you have to
- 32:28Speaker 1: learn how to deal with nerves. What advice do you
- 32:32Speaker 1: give entertainers or athletes about getting out of their own head?
- 32:37Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's the you know, the advice often
- 32:42Speaker 2: is to go listen to you know, we have the
- 32:45Speaker 2: music that we created, the Bilateral music. It's we're not
- 32:47Speaker 2: the only ones to have it, but you know, we
- 32:49Speaker 2: have it on Spotify and Apple Music, and so a
- 32:52Speaker 2: lot of times before games, you know, we'll have our
- 32:54Speaker 2: players listening to the music because it's Bilateral and there's
- 32:57Speaker 2: time to heal volume one and two, and then there's
- 33:00Speaker 2: level up volume one and.
- 33:01Speaker 4: So people can subscribe to your playlist.
- 33:04Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an album that's been released. It's free, they
- 33:07Speaker 2: can download.
- 33:07Speaker 4: It listen where how do they find it?
- 33:09Speaker 3: Spotify and yeah, and Apple Music.
- 33:11Speaker 4: But like on Doctor Mondo cheat code.
- 33:13Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, the company cheat code Yeah so cool.
- 33:16Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's out there, and so you know, I'll
- 33:18Speaker 2: tell people listen to that music because what that music's
- 33:21Speaker 2: going to do is essentially massage your brain into feeling
- 33:25Speaker 2: more focused, more confident, more at peace. And so I
- 33:29Speaker 2: think it's there is you know, just those internal practices
- 33:32Speaker 2: of quieting yourself, turning within.
- 33:36Speaker 1: We're taught, I think so often to follow our intellect,
- 33:41Speaker 1: our mind. What's the difference between following your heart and
- 33:45Speaker 1: your gut.
- 33:49Speaker 2: I always go back to a quote and I don't
- 33:50Speaker 2: even remember where I heard it, and I think it
- 33:52Speaker 2: was on a podcast. I think it was on a
- 33:54Speaker 2: Tim Ferris podcast. The guest he had on there said
- 33:57Speaker 2: something about Native Americans used to say, you have three brains.
- 34:02Speaker 2: The first brains in your gut, the second brains in
- 34:04Speaker 2: your heart, the third brains in your head. And they'd
- 34:06Speaker 2: say the problem with the West is that they've divorced
- 34:09Speaker 2: themselves from the first two brains become self reliant on
- 34:11Speaker 2: the third. So I think that you know that the
- 34:16Speaker 2: gut is again, it's this sense that I know that
- 34:18Speaker 2: I know that I know you know.
- 34:20Speaker 3: How do you know that you love someone?
- 34:21Speaker 2: You may argue that's from the heart, but I also
- 34:23Speaker 2: believe that if it's true, it's it's a gut oral feeling.
- 34:28Speaker 3: It's this.
- 34:29Speaker 2: So I think that the gut is something that you
- 34:31Speaker 2: just feel, this sense of unshakable belief in. To go
- 34:36Speaker 2: back to that again, I think the heart is something
- 34:39Speaker 2: that feels. I think the heart feels and we just feel,
- 34:42Speaker 2: and I think that there's intuition that is derived from
- 34:45Speaker 2: both the heart and the gut, and I think that
- 34:47Speaker 2: those are the places to look to. I think the
- 34:49Speaker 2: third is you know again, it's it's not to it's
- 34:52Speaker 2: not to say we don't need the frontal lobe of
- 34:54Speaker 2: our brains to analyze. It's it's how we've advanced this
- 34:57Speaker 2: far as humans. So so I think we should keep it.
- 35:01Speaker 2: But I think what we shouldn't do is we shouldn't
- 35:04Speaker 2: over we shouldn't rely upon it, especially with the big
- 35:06Speaker 2: decisions in our lives, because it's very easy to talk
- 35:10Speaker 2: ourselves into things that logically make sense but aren't for us.
- 35:14Speaker 2: I see people all the time who were raised to
- 35:17Speaker 2: live a certain way, and it's almost like the people
- 35:21Speaker 2: in their lives, whether it's their parents or society, is
- 35:24Speaker 2: the director and they gave them this role and they're like, well, crap,
- 35:27Speaker 2: I don't know how to play this character, but let
- 35:30Speaker 2: me do my best. And then after a while they
- 35:32Speaker 2: just feel like this sucks. Like this is what life's about,
- 35:35Speaker 2: and we need to listen to our guts because our
- 35:38Speaker 2: gut is telling us who the true character of the
- 35:40Speaker 2: film is and who we truly are. I think too
- 35:43Speaker 2: often when we make choices about careers or partners or things,
- 35:47Speaker 2: it's all up here. The reason I love betting on
- 35:50Speaker 2: my gut is that I can live with that. If
- 35:53Speaker 2: my gut's telling me that I need to do something
- 35:56Speaker 2: and it seems bold and it ends up being ridiculous,
- 36:00Speaker 2: I can live with it, being like I don't know,
- 36:02Speaker 2: I just had a feeling on that I had to
- 36:04Speaker 2: go with it right when it comes to me intellectually
- 36:08Speaker 2: convincing myself it's the right conclusion, it's harder for me
- 36:11Speaker 2: to live with that, so true.
- 36:14Speaker 1: I was also thinking the heart sort of leads us,
- 36:17Speaker 1: the gut guides us.
- 36:19Speaker 3: That's good.
- 36:21Speaker 4: I don't know what my brain does. My brain makes
- 36:24Speaker 4: me crazy.
- 36:25Speaker 3: That's what over complicates everything.
- 36:27Speaker 4: The brain over complicates stuff.
- 36:29Speaker 2: But there are three different personalities if you think about heart,
- 36:32Speaker 2: and that's where it's like we have parts of self
- 36:34Speaker 2: and so the brain is the you know, the super responsible,
- 36:40Speaker 2: you know, person that wants it makes us sure. Yeah,
- 36:45Speaker 2: And when we get all three signing off on something,
- 36:48Speaker 2: you know that that's the best.
- 36:50Speaker 4: That's when you really know.
- 36:51Speaker 3: That's when you know.
- 36:54Speaker 1: When you talk about self expression, you said something really interesting,
- 36:58Speaker 1: you said, some of us have accepted our programming and
- 37:00Speaker 1: our survival mode responses as our personality.
- 37:03Speaker 4: Can you elaborate on that.
- 37:06Speaker 2: I think there's no better example than looking at poor
- 37:09Speaker 2: neighborhoods right now.
- 37:11Speaker 3: So so many people in poor neighborhoods have grown to.
- 37:17Speaker 2: Internalize and tell the story of themselves, of who they are,
- 37:20Speaker 2: you know, whether it's aggressive or passive or and many
- 37:24Speaker 2: of those are responses to the trauma the ndoor every day,
- 37:28Speaker 2: just from existing in a world full of.
- 37:33Speaker 3: Trauma and violence and threat.
- 37:37Speaker 2: So I think that I think it's really important when
- 37:40Speaker 2: you learn the theory of trauma, all of us should
- 37:43Speaker 2: that when we learn and understand that the body will
- 37:46Speaker 2: go into a place of self preservation and the body
- 37:49Speaker 2: will always fight to keep us safe, and the way
- 37:53Speaker 2: that it will fight is sometimes by going into fight, flight, freeze,
- 37:57Speaker 2: or fawning, and that we can start to believe that's
- 38:02Speaker 2: truly who we are. Like some people developed, they may say, like,
- 38:06Speaker 2: I just love to make everyone happy, that's my personality.
- 38:09Speaker 2: Well is it your personality or did you grow up
- 38:11Speaker 2: in a family system where you had to do that
- 38:14Speaker 2: in order to survive that if people weren't happy, then
- 38:17Speaker 2: the household energy would be off and you wouldn't get
- 38:20Speaker 2: fed or you know, so there's I think it's really interesting.
- 38:23Speaker 2: I watched this happen a lot. People's stories that they
- 38:26Speaker 2: tell of themselves change the more they heal their trauma,
- 38:29Speaker 2: the more they remove themselves from traumatic experiences.
- 38:32Speaker 3: They go, wait a minute, that was just me.
- 38:35Speaker 2: You know, I've seen you know, women and men who
- 38:40Speaker 2: may tell stories of themselves of being aggressive and you know,
- 38:43Speaker 2: I have an anger problem. And really it was there
- 38:46Speaker 2: was context that they were in that were stimulating that
- 38:49Speaker 2: survival response. So was it really that that's who you
- 38:53Speaker 2: are at your core? Or was that just you surviving?
- 38:55Speaker 2: It's it's something that we don't we don't really look
- 38:59Speaker 2: at because because we don't still have a full understanding
- 39:03Speaker 2: of trauma societally or trauma. IQ isn't high enough yet
- 39:08Speaker 2: and it will happen over time. The more that we
- 39:10Speaker 2: learn to where we understand the impacts that trauma has
- 39:14Speaker 2: on how we behave and how.
- 39:15Speaker 3: We show up.
- 39:16Speaker 1: The conversation as a whole around mental health has changed
- 39:19Speaker 1: so much over the years. I know that cheat code
- 39:23Speaker 1: is kind of based on that idea. You really want
- 39:26Speaker 1: to open up the conversation where are we and what
- 39:30Speaker 1: is cheat code doing to try and move that forward.
- 39:36Speaker 3: We're in a place that.
- 39:38Speaker 2: Seemed a bit outlandish at the beginning of the decade.
- 39:43Speaker 3: On January first, twenty twenty, I was.
- 39:46Speaker 2: On a local news channel being interviewed about thoughts about
- 39:52Speaker 2: what this decade will be defined on reflecting and I said,
- 39:55Speaker 2: this will be the decade defined by mental health. It
- 39:57Speaker 2: just felt like we were progressing in that way. COVID
- 39:59Speaker 2: was the accelerator though. You know, we went from overnight
- 40:03Speaker 2: feeling like some people had mental health struggles or experiences
- 40:08Speaker 2: or a mental health story, to overnight, now men women
- 40:12Speaker 2: regardless of age or demographic. We've reduced so much stigma
- 40:17Speaker 2: so quickly that everyone goes, yeah, like that stuff applies
- 40:21Speaker 2: to me.
- 40:22Speaker 3: And that's a huge, huge win.
- 40:24Speaker 2: But it's also putting us in a very dangerous position
- 40:28Speaker 2: because now we have so many people that are looking
- 40:31Speaker 2: to engage in experiencing healing transformation. And what's being exposed
- 40:40Speaker 2: is that we don't have an adequate enough mental health
- 40:44Speaker 2: system in place in society. We don't have a system
- 40:47Speaker 2: that's accessible. It's really hard to find support when you're struggling.
- 40:54Speaker 2: It's super expensive, and you know, people, even if you
- 40:59Speaker 2: have insurance, you don't know how to navigate that, and
- 41:01Speaker 2: a lot of people don't. The most traumatized folks in
- 41:05Speaker 2: our society often have no clue or no empowerment, or
- 41:09Speaker 2: no access to mental health services. So I think there's
- 41:13Speaker 2: so much good in saying that we'vened, you know, we're
- 41:16Speaker 2: ending stigma. It's a big part of what cheat code
- 41:19Speaker 2: has been about. But cheat code was created because there
- 41:22Speaker 2: is this feeling that we have to do more. And
- 41:25Speaker 2: you know, there's two sides of cheat code. One is
- 41:29Speaker 2: a nonprofit side, the other is a for profit company.
- 41:33Speaker 2: The for profit company got it start first with working
- 41:36Speaker 2: with athletes, musicians, entertainers, and.
- 41:38Speaker 3: The idea was, Okay, I'll give you the cheat.
- 41:41Speaker 2: Code to your mental health, but you have to go
- 41:44Speaker 2: be an advocate because I need you to help move
- 41:46Speaker 2: the stigma.
- 41:47Speaker 3: Thing forward quickly. As that's been.
- 41:49Speaker 2: Happening, now the focus shifts to what we're doing on
- 41:51Speaker 2: the foundation side. We're getting ready right now to hopefully
- 41:54Speaker 2: fingers Crossed get a significant amount of money from a
- 42:00Speaker 2: city here locally. I won't name the city yet, but
- 42:03Speaker 2: we're in talks and that city would be turning over
- 42:06Speaker 2: its mental health system to us in admitting that it's
- 42:09Speaker 2: not really as accessible or as effective as it needs
- 42:14Speaker 2: to be, so we need to transform it. And that's
- 42:17Speaker 2: where I want cheat Code and Cheat Code Foundation to
- 42:21Speaker 2: be and myself to be more involved as in redesigning
- 42:25Speaker 2: the mental health system to make it more accessible and
- 42:28Speaker 2: then raise the standard of care to where people should
- 42:32Speaker 2: be getting the highest standard of care, not because of
- 42:35Speaker 2: any certain demographics, just because if they need it, they
- 42:39Speaker 2: deserve it. It's a human rights issue in my mind.
- 42:43Speaker 1: I'm with you, all right, we have ninety seconds for
- 42:47Speaker 1: some rapid fire.
- 42:48Speaker 3: Are you ready for ninety seconds? Okay? Rapid fire a.
- 42:50Speaker 1: Model you live by, no regrets, true or false attitude would.
- 42:57Speaker 4: Always win out over ability.
- 43:00Speaker 3: True.
- 43:02Speaker 1: Your dream client, my.
- 43:04Speaker 2: Dream client I think of the first thing that comes
- 43:06Speaker 2: to my mind is someone in juvenile hall, but people
- 43:08Speaker 2: I've worked with in juvenile hall. Dream client is someone
- 43:11Speaker 2: that has so much, so many gifts that they just
- 43:16Speaker 2: they can't see, and no one's ever been able to
- 43:18Speaker 2: shine a light onto them. The people that have been
- 43:21Speaker 2: cast away in society, those are the people.
- 43:22Speaker 3: That I want to go in power.
- 43:24Speaker 1: A small purchase that you've made that's made a big
- 43:26Speaker 1: impact on your life.
- 43:28Speaker 2: This is, I guess, not a small purchase in terms
- 43:30Speaker 2: of monetary amount, but they are small, and I'll just
- 43:33Speaker 2: say that they're worth every penny they air pod pros
- 43:35Speaker 2: they've shanged, Sorry shameless Apple plan.
- 43:38Speaker 4: Aren't those bad for our brains?
- 43:40Speaker 3: You know what they may be? And you're probably right.
- 43:43Speaker 2: I need to probably do more more research, But that's
- 43:46Speaker 2: called cognitive dissonance.
- 43:48Speaker 3: I love them. I don't want to know this stuff.
- 43:50Speaker 3: Don't tell me that.
- 43:52Speaker 1: Okay, one too? Will you use to shake off a
- 43:54Speaker 1: bad day.
- 43:56Speaker 3: Knowing that I'm that I'm loved, you know? And that's
- 43:58Speaker 3: where my faith comes in.
- 43:59Speaker 2: Is that just going back to knowing that I have
- 44:03Speaker 2: in my concept of faith that there's a father in
- 44:06Speaker 2: Heaven who loves me unconditionally for who I am, doesn't
- 44:09Speaker 2: need me to show up and.
- 44:10Speaker 3: Be anyone other than who I am in order to
- 44:12Speaker 3: be loved.
- 44:13Speaker 2: And that's enough, and that usually is enough to get
- 44:15Speaker 2: me back to where I need to be.
- 44:17Speaker 1: A book that you've read that changed your life something
- 44:19Speaker 1: you think everyone.
- 44:20Speaker 3: Should read, The autobiography of Malcolm X.
- 44:24Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a very common answer on this podcast.
- 44:26Speaker 3: That's amazing.
- 44:27Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 44:28Speaker 2: Yeah, that came into my life when I was in
- 44:30Speaker 2: high school and it was one of the only books
- 44:33Speaker 2: I probably read and I couldn't get enough of it.
- 44:36Speaker 2: And you know, it led me to love X and
- 44:41Speaker 2: love Ali, And yeah, it was a book that changed
- 44:43Speaker 2: my life.
- 44:44Speaker 1: Okay, So I have somewhere behind these pillows, the card
- 44:47Speaker 1: debt question everything.
- 44:49Speaker 3: This is great, by the way, I love these.
- 44:52Speaker 4: Oh, thank you.
- 44:52Speaker 3: This is so cool.
- 44:53Speaker 4: You're getting yours in the.
- 44:54Speaker 3: Mail, getting mine in the mail? Really? Okay?
- 44:57Speaker 1: Of course I look at this, yeah, to read it
- 45:00Speaker 1: out and answer, and.
- 45:03Speaker 2: I'm asking you, no, it's for you. Oh okay, what's
- 45:06Speaker 2: the story behind your name?
- 45:08Speaker 3: Oh? This is funny. What's your nickname? Who gave it
- 45:10Speaker 3: to you? Okay?
- 45:12Speaker 2: So I'm thin slicing a lot here and just doing
- 45:15Speaker 2: what comes to me first. So the story behind my name.
- 45:19Speaker 2: I'm named after my father. I'm a junior Armando Gonzalez.
- 45:23Speaker 2: And you know, my dad was from Mexico City and
- 45:27Speaker 2: my dad was super proud to be Mexican and I'm
- 45:30Speaker 2: named after him. And so that's the story behind my name.
- 45:33Speaker 2: What's my nickname? I remember being in elementary school and
- 45:37Speaker 2: someone started calling me Mondo man, and then that turned
- 45:40Speaker 2: into Mondo. And then when I started, you know, working
- 45:43Speaker 2: and got my doctorate, people started calling me doctor Armando,
- 45:45Speaker 2: and then it became doctor Mondo. And that's that's That's
- 45:48Speaker 2: where I'm at. And who gave that to me? Just
- 45:52Speaker 2: you know again, it's other people give you your nickname.
- 45:54Speaker 3: You can't pick it for yourself.
- 45:57Speaker 1: The smartest decision you've ever made.
- 46:01Speaker 2: To realize that I can't do it on my own,
- 46:04Speaker 2: you know, And I think that goes back to my
- 46:06Speaker 2: faith journey of realizing that there were limits I would
- 46:10Speaker 2: face on my own, and that I had to eventually
- 46:12Speaker 2: surrender to something bigger than me, and that was terrifying,
- 46:16Speaker 2: but it's worked out really well and I'm glad I
- 46:18Speaker 2: did it, and I think it's pretty smart in hindsight.
- 46:21Speaker 4: Pretty smart she did there.
- 46:24Speaker 3: I did it without even without even trying to. I
- 46:28Speaker 3: only get one of those. Gosh, I want ten more.
- 46:30Speaker 1: Well, you got the whole pat perfect, Thank you, thank
- 46:33Speaker 1: you so much. All right, today is a good day.
- 47:02Speaker 4: To have a good day.
- 47:03Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.