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109. Getting Uncomfortable · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hello team, Welcome to the Impact Ready podcast.
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  I hope that you're having an awesome week.
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  You know, one of the biggest questions that I get from
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  clients and even from my patients is how do I create
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  change in my life? Some semblance of that question,
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  how do I create change? How do I change my habits?
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  How do I change my mindset? How can I get out of old
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  patterns or feelings of being stuck in my life?
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  Just in general, how do I get to where I want to be?
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  And it's a very important question, I think for every
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  person that I've ever spoken to, for every human walking this
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  earth, for me included, we ask ourselves that question at some
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  point. How do I create change in my
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  life? Because we all want the
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  evolution, we want the growth, we want transformation.
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  And sometimes there's no road map on how to get to those
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  places. Sometimes we don't even have
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  clarity on where we want to be going.
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  And there's so much strategy around this question.
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  There's so many techniques, there's so much, so many
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  frameworks. So, you know, so much you could
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  really dig into that is talking about the action piece of it.
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  We could really get into the minutiae around it, but I don't
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  want to do that today. I want to actually zoom out and
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  talk about a simple idea. It's an idea that you have
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  probably heard so many different times, but it's this idea of
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  getting out of your comfort zone.
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  And if you rolled your eyes a little bit when you heard that,
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  it means that you've probably been exposed to some of the
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  influencers out there who are screaming at you through
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  Instagram, or maybe you've been to some personal development
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  stuff that has challenged you to get out of your comfort zone.
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  And you felt like, oh, man, I've heard this before.
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  This is a little simplistic. How is this really going to help
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  me create change? And the reality is the stuff
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  that's most powerful for people is most often the simple things
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  is the foundational concepts. It's, it's not the minutiae.
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  It's not all of the technical strategies that really create
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  the change for people in their lives.
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  It is going back to basics. And one of the big basics is
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  that we are living in a very cushy, comfortable lifestyle
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  these days. And I don't mean that in a
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  negative way. I think we're all very grateful
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  that we can have temperature controlled homes and technology
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  that creates so much ease in our life and the ability to be
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  connected to anybody anywhere in the world.
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  I think we all love the comforts of our life, but there is a
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  place where comfort becomes detrimental to us.
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  Comfort is so nice, we can admit that, but it's often giving us
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  small rewards, and those small rewards are taking place at the
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  big rewards that we truly, truly want.
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  When somebody has a big dream and a big goal and it requires a
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  lot of work from them, maybe they have to put in some
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  sacrifice. They have to work extra hours,
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  they have to learn new things, they have to seek out new people
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  in their life. When there is a big goal, it can
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  take a lot of effort and energy, and comfort is the thing that
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  gives us the small reward, the instant gratification, the
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  dopamine hit. But it often waylays the work
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  that it takes to get to the big reward.
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  We will often choose working on the simple, easy, sort of
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  mundane tasks in our day and not the deep work.
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  We'll often avoid having hard conversations with teammates or
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  spouses or kids or employees so that we can just keep the peace
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  that day. There's so many things that we
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  do that help give us that quick, small reward, but it has a
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  sacrificing the big rewards. Comfort can be very settling.
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  It can feel like safety and security.
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  Oftentimes we want to experience comfort.
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  Oh, but team, it can keep us the same.
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  So many times I've experienced this in my life when I chose
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  comfort over discomfort, I recognized in hindsight that it
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  was keeping me the same. Because it's easy, it's known,
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  it's automatic. We don't even know that we are
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  choosing comfort half the times. We just kind of shy away from
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  the hard, the resistance, the friction, the contrast.
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  If we get too far into comfort, the issue becomes that we start
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  playing small. We just, we don't show up as big
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  as we could. We become a slightly smaller
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  version of ourselves. Sometimes it looks like being
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  complacent. Sometimes we even get into fear
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  because the longer we are in comfort, the harder it is to
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  push ourselves to get uncomfortable.
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  We don't have that exposure therapy we've talked about in a
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  past podcast episode, this idea of tolerance to extremity.
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  With exposure to things that feel uncomfortable, we can
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  increase our tolerance for things that feel uncomfortable.
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  And this matters because it creates more resilience, more
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  grit, more familiarity with our own inner strength.
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  It introduces us to these depths of resilience that we didn't
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  know that we had before because we hadn't been pushed to that
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  level before. So many people that I know who
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  have just been through hell, they have a tolerance or
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  extremity that is different than most people.
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  And every single one of those people will say it is a huge
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  asset to me. My tolerance for extremity, my
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  experiences going through hell, it is a huge asset to me.
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  Now you've heard this quote before.
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  Eleanor Roosevelt said it. She said do one thing every day
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  that scares you. Those small things that make us
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  uncomfortable help us build courage to do the work that we
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  do. And I think about that all the
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  time, any, any day or moment where I'm feeling like I'm just
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  going to, you know, chill and stay in my comfort zone.
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  I think, no, this is the work that helps me build the courage
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  to do what I want to do. This discomfort is the path to
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  getting me to where I want to be in my life.
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  There's another element to this, a little tangent that we might
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  explore. When you are around people who
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  challenge you or push you to grow or people who elevate you,
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  it forces your discomfort to a degree.
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  And that is a great thing. That is a freaking awesome
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  thing. We all know the feeling of
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  walking into a room where we're like, Oh my God, I'm an imposter
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  in here. These people are smarter, they
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  are more talented, they're more, they have more expertise.
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  You know, we've all been in those situations where we feel
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  that feeling of just extreme discomfort of being in a room
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  where everyone else is elevated around you.
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  It's a room full of people who really push you and challenge
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  you. God, that's a good thing.
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  It's challenging, it's hard, it certainly feels uncomfortable,
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  but it is being in those rooms or having those conversations
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  that help you get uncomfortable and force your growth so that
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  you can be a better version of yourself.
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  If we take it a step further and we're thinking about this
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  through the lens of impact and the ripple effects of your
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  impact, we can also acknowledge that your discomfort inspires
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  the discomfort of others in a positive way.
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  There are these neurons in the brain, they're called mirror
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  neurons, and they have us modeling the behavior of the
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  people around us. So when we see somebody
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  challenging themselves and pushing themselves to new
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  heights, we start to model that behavior.
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  It's the whole idea behind masterminds being on elite
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  teams. These mirror neurons are a type
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  of brain cell that activate in two ways, 1st when someone
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  performs an action and 2nd when they observe someone else
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  performing the same action. These mirror neurons play a
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  really important role in learning through imitation and
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  modeling, understanding intentions of other people, and
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  of course fostering empathy in social situations or
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  interactions. We mirror the emotions that we
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  observe in other people. And so if we think about this in
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  a really simple way, an example might be you see a professional
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  dancer who's out there on the floor and they're dancing the
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  tango or the salsa, and you're learning how to dance.
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  After watching them dance, you will dance better than you did
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  before because your mirror neurons have you imitating that
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  behavior. It's a really positive feedback
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  loop when you are in a place of positive discomfort.
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  And I'm not saying that you have to go out there and put yourself
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  in pain and suffering and just really stretch yourself thin.
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  And I'm not saying that sometimes getting uncomfortable
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  is just about going beyond the norm.
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  Sometimes it's just about asking yourself, what can I do that's a
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  little bigger today? What can I take action on that
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  I've been dragging my feet on today?
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  What conversation have I been avoiding?
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  What's been scaring me that I haven't been willing to look at
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  recently? Sometimes it's just going a
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  little bit beyond your norm. Sometimes it's putting away the
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  phone and the instant gratification of scrolling or
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  reading news, the dopamine hits, watching Netflix or something
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  like that and reading a book and introducing yourself to new
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  ideas or instead finishing up the project that you've been
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  delaying. It could be so simple.
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  We don't have to be crushing ourselves in discomfort to
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  experience the benefits of discomfort.
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  I think if we zoom out on this issue even a little bit more, it
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  looks like often balancing intention with surrender, and
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  that can be kind of a tricky line to walk.
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  If you surrender too much, you feel apathetic, you feel lazy,
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  you feel like you aren't pursuing your stuff.
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  If you lead with too much intention, you're over intent,
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  meaning you're trying hard all the time.
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  Often we're the ones who get in our own way.
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  I've experienced that. I've been in seasons of my life
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  where I'm working so hard and trying so hard at something, and
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  it seems like I'm the one in my own way of getting what I want.
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  It's that fine line, that balance of intention with
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  surrender. And if you combine that solid
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  intention with this uncompromising trust in
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  yourself, in your path, then you have this really powerful
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  formula to be the creator of your life.
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  You always hear me talking about that.
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  To be the creator of your own life, what a dream that is, what
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  freedom that is. And it comes with this balance
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  of intention and trust. And this is kind of like
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  anything. There's a spectrum.
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  Lots of things lie on a spectrum where there is an over exerting
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  side and an under exerting side. We're either doing too much or
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  too little, but what we're looking for is this middle zone,
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  and in the middle is the healthy zone.
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  We have to find that zone for ourselves, what feels right for
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  us, where the balance is. And when you find that and you
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  can operate from that place, you become very unstoppable.
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  It's really exciting. You often hear that comfort is
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  the killer of ambition, and I truly believe that it is the
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  moments of discomfort in my life that have spurred me on most.
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  And the people who I see who seem most dissatisfied in their
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  lives, they're often the ones who are shying away from the
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  discomfort. They don't want to do the work.
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  They don't want to be uncomfortable.
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  And so as a result of that, they feel like they're stuck or
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  they're stagnant. And we don't like that as
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  humans, we want growth. We want life to have meaning.
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  And it is in those times of discomfort where we discover
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  both of those things, the growth and the meaning.
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  The place of discomfort is where it all happens.
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  And I know that we all need to work on the balance a little
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  bit. But in this week coming up, I
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  challenge you to think about where is it in your life that
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  you've been holding back a little bit?
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  Maybe where you've been sitting in comfort for longer than you
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  should have? Where can you challenge yourself
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  to get a little bit more uncomfortable so you can
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  actually get to those places that you want to be?
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  You can get to the places of transformation and evolution and
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  expansion, all that beautiful stuff where we learn about
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  ourselves and we make forward progress and we build that
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  tolerance to extremity. All the good stuff.
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  Where in your life right now can you get a little bit more
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  uncomfortable so you can see that pay off?
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  I hope this helps. I hope this has inspired you to
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  think about things through a little bit different lens,
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  thinking about discomfort as a beautiful thing, a positive
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  thing, and not necessarily a bad thing like so many people do.
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  And let's see how it translates in your life this week.
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  I'm so excited you're here. If you want to stay in touch
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  with me in a different way, I've just launched my newsletter.
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  It's called the Impact Effect. It comes out twice a month.
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  If you want to get on that list and get a little bit more
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  insight, information about Impact and how you can utilize
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  it in your own life, go to my website, steph@stephsaffer.com
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  and sign up for that newsletter. I'd love to be talking to you
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  and supporting you along the way.
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  So thank you for listening to this episode.
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  And as always, thank you for being ready to Impact.
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  Thanks for listening to Impact Ready.
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  I hope today's episode inspired you to own your impact and
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  recognize that you are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to the show for more. I truly appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.