Latest / Reborn w/ Antonio Boutros / Break the Stigma: Mens Mental Health Essentials

Transcript

Break the Stigma: Mens Mental Health Essentials · Reborn w/ Antonio Boutros

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: In the world of self-improvement, mental health is often overlooked.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Seen as an afterthought.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: As something that maybe men shouldn't even have.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Men shouldn't even worry about.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: But the harsh reality is we all do.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: We've all had our struggles.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here with you, brother.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to go through this video with you to tell you one, my story, how I was able to persevere and beat depression, anxiety, and obesity.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: But more importantly, how you too can beat it.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: How you can live the life you always have desired.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: How you can live a life free of mental health issues.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited for this journey, and I hope that I can change just one life with this video.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hope I can save just one person with this video.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: With that being said, let's get into it.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want to begin by sharing my story, by telling you what I've been through, so that you can understand that I don't say this to be an asshole.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or I don't say this to be I don't say the things I say to belittle you or to tear you down or to make you feel small.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, I'm telling you this because I've been through the same journey or a similar journey that you are going through.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, maybe you've lost a parent.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've lost someone close to you.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've just gone through a breakup.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe maybe you just gotten diagnosed with some terminal cancer.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or I don't know your situation.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm praying for you no matter what.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I cannot know your situation.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And but what I do know is you have the strength, you have the power to persevere and to push and to just get through it.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to keep your mind open without further ado.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'll get into my story.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: My story is one that in hindsight makes me feel weak.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me feel vulnerable.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I hate that I had gone through this for so many years.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, at the same time, being out of it now, I love it.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that God has us here for a reason.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: God does not put obstacles in our way for no reason.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Everything happens for a reason.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Everything has its purpose, its reason, its meaning.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: It all began in middle school.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Young, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, I was the new kid in town.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know who I was, and I didn't know who I was, nor did I know anyone around me.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: So what ended up happening is I got addicted.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I got addicted to that lifestyle.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I got addicted to wanting to be that guy.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: To wanting to be one of the popular, one of the cool kids.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: One of the kids who everyone wanted to be like, and I fell into that trap.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, I didn't fit in.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't good at sports.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was out of shape, and I didn't have a developed personality.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up being used, manipulated, torn down, bullied despite my size.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: This would go on for the next eight years.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I want to stress the importance of being yourself, not allowing yourself to become someone just because you want to be around other people who, by the way, you might not even like, you might not even know, you might not even pair very well with.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're just struggling to fit in with other people, that most likely means they're not your people.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, to the little kid's personality, to my little mind, I didn't understand that.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: All I saw was this little, little, little, little glimpse of fame, of spotlight, of attention, of women, and to the untrained mind, I loved it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I fell in love with the idea of being popular.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And yet I never fit in.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And because I was bullied, because I was belittled, I developed depression, I developed anxiety.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: For years, after failing, I would not talk to anyone.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would not talk to anyone because I was scared.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was afraid.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know who I was, and I would had tried for so long to be someone else, and I was not that person.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So now, how do I know how to talk to people when I don't even know who I am?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I developed severe social anxiety, depression, I became obese, developed bad habits, and I was not saved until I hit rock bottom.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I hit rock bottom and I could not be more grateful for it.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because rock bottom taught me a lesson.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: It taught me to wake up to reality.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Wake up and realize I've wasted the last five, ten years of my life, my childhood, but there's so much more to life, there's so much beauty in life, there's so much more you can do with your life if you are truly working on self-improvement.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can do anything, you can become anything you want to be.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: After hitting rock bottom, I got in the gym.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: After hitting rock bottom, I realized how badly, how badly I'd fucked up.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: How badly I had made my life.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And key word, I made my life.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had done this to myself.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't blame anyone, I don't blame any bully or any other little kid for what I did to myself.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Accountability.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up and I realized I need change.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I need to improve, and so I got into the gym.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I got into the gym and eventually I met some people.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Some people who helped me improve my life.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Some people who, quite frankly, played a role in saving my life and making me into the man that I am becoming.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Played a major factor into the reason why I am able to sit here and speak to you today.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why I have now developed my life, my purpose to helping you with your mental health, to helping you improve, get in shape, live the life you desire.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: That is why I'm here.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: That is my purpose.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: In modern society, we have so many things distracting us from lust to politics to work to school to all these different things, and too often is mental health, especially men's mental health, overlooked.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Too often is men's mental health an afterthought, if thought at all.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: This needs to change if we want to have strong men.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not here to tell you go be depressed, go be anxious.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, what I'm saying is the opposite.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can fix this, you can get better, can improve your life.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what they tell you, no matter what stereotypes you're used to facing, maybe you're used to hearing, oh, you know what, you're a man, toughen up, but you don't feel tough inside.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you toughen up when you don't feel like you can?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel stuck, when you feel like there's nowhere to go, when you feel like no one understands you, when you feel dark, you feel alone.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: How can you toughen up when you feel these way?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel this way.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: But there are habits, there are things you can do to improve.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're dealing with depression, anxiety, or even contemplating suicide, I want you to know you can get over it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's while there's a massive number of men who unfortunately, second after second, minute after minute, day after day, end their lives, I'm here to tell you there's another way out.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's another way out, and you don't have to sacrifice yourself for anyone else.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, some of you who contemplate suicide think the world, my family, would be better without me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lie.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: The world is such a better place with you in it.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than thinking the world would be better without me, think about how can I make the world a better place?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: How can I make a benefit?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: How can I make an impact on the world?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: How can I be a benefit to the world?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: By ending your life, all you're gonna do is make those around you, those who care about you, depressed, sad.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna mourn you.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be traumatized for the rest of their lives because you decided to pass away.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's another way out.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I want to discuss some of the signs, the symptoms of men's mental health issues.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'll go over this very briefly, but a lot of men, especially when you're in these early stages, you might not understand what the signs of mental health issues are.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Depression, anxiety.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: You might not understand what they are.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: You afraid to go up and talk to someone?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, that can be social anxiety.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're afraid of what they might think of you.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's your brain playing tricks on you.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's your brain telling you, hey man, I don't want to do this because guess what?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: They might hate you.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: They might hate you and then go talk shit about you to their friends.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: You envision the worst possible scenario, and sure.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is it possible?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Unlikely, but possible.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is, even in that worst case scenario, it doesn't matter.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if five different people don't like you, five different people think you're a creep.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Move on.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's other people in the world.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the biggest points that I've had for myself to get over anxiety is realizing there are eight billion people on this planet.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: 8 billion people in this world.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of them would be grateful to call to have a conversation with you.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you're having a good conversation, if you're a nice person, if you are a strong person.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: So let these people who have an ego or don't like you for whatever reason leave them alone.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's too many people to be worried about those who don't like you.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Surround yourself with those who are pushing you to be better, who are who are improving themselves, who are working on themselves, like-minded individuals.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes men's mental health manifests differently than women's.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: It manifests in a manner that we don't truly understand because we can't.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: We've never been taught how to deal with mental health.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: As a man, you're supposed to be that this tough, superior guy.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: But what if in the back of your mind you had this voice telling you, you can't.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not good enough.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never be good enough.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get over that?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because we've never been taught.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I want to encourage you to just pay attention to your well-being.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know you care about other people, but give yourself some thought.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself some attention and make sure you're taking care of yourself, but also make sure your loved ones are being taken care of.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: This being said, you cannot take care of loved ones, you cannot take care of other people until you take care of yourself.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I often hear you cannot love someone until you fully love yourself.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Until you love yourself, you cannot know what it means to love someone.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, you're gonna end up depressed if they leave you.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna end up detached and valuing them even more than you value yourself.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Which, as a man, that's okay.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: You should put your wife first, you should put your family first, you should put your children first, you should put your mother first, but not if you don't love yourself.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You need to learn how to love yourself so that you can be the best man possible for your family, for your company, or those around you who care about you.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: You must love yourself first, you must break through the stigma that says you cannot have mental health issues because the truth is, again, we all do.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: We've all had our issues, we've all had our traumas, we've all lost someone or gone through something or seen something horrific uh happen that's traumatized us.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you that's okay.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you've been through what you've been through and you will push through, but you've also got to understand that you're not always gonna be this strong macho man.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be in touch with yourself so that you can be in touch with reality.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Once you're in touch with yourself, once you truly begin to understand and appreciate and care for yourself, then your life will change.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: You will realize you will realize how dark depression can be, and yet how much light there is in the world.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: The light shines brighter than you can see it.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: So don't trap yourself in a dark don't be alone.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Don't trap yourself into this mindset that you deserve this, that you deserve pain, that you deserve to feel as if you're tortured every day, every night.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you go, you don't belong.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lie.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now I promised you I would tell you some coping strategies, some self-care methods for your mental health.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Here we'll go into them.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna want to work out.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's cliche, but you want to work out.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: You want to get that blood flowing to this day, over a year into it.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: I tell people day in and day out.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: I work out, and yes I lift.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I like to lift heavy.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I like looking big, but I work out for my mental health more so than my physical.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, they play into one another.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: When you have bad mental health, or you have bad physical health, chances are the other one will be bad too.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're looking big, if you have a positive body image, if you have a physique that you truly enjoy having, that's gonna boost your mental health.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna boost your confidence, it's gonna boost your self-image.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Second tip I can give you that truly might sound cliche, but truly help me, is taking cold showers.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Taking cold showers first thing in the morning is truly the best thing you can do.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is the best thing you can do that does not take much time.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: All you're gonna do is make it cold water instead of warm.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: The reason being for this is before you go in a shower, you might be thinking you might be stressed out, your mind might be overclouded, fit you might be thinking about too many different things.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yet as soon as that water hits you, clarity.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Mental clarity.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: You have you can think freely.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: It opens your mind to the possibility of anything.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: It opens your mind to r to the realization that you can't be anything.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: It opens your mind to the understanding that you're strong, you can persevere, of course, to cold water.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It might not be comfortable, but if you can push through cold water, if you can push through this freezing sensation that you're feeling, this shivering, you can push through anything.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can push through your depression.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believe that.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: The third strategy I want to share with you is getting fresh air, just going out, being in touch with nature, not being on your phone and walking, listening to the birds, listening to the water running, and that sunlight on your face.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's scientifically proven that this helps you.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what it also does is it gets you in touch with the world, with nature.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nature is one of the most beautiful things you can see.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Birds, free-flowing grass, water, just a beautiful sky, beautiful clouds, the sun, it's soothing, it's calming, and it'll provide, again, mental clarity.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Another issue that too many men have is the lack of a support system.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: A community.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in turn, we struggle, we suffer, and we do it alone.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because we don't have a community.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have support systems.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And yet somebody's community is gonna be so easy to build.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want you to understand you're not alone.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're not the only one here who's going through issues.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: There are people just like you who go through similar issues, who have dealt with depression, who have dealt with anxiety, who have dealt with various mental health issues, and they would be happy to understand that you are here.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: They would be happy to help you in your journey.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Friends, family, professional networks, these can all be good tools.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the best tools I cannot recommend more is the gym.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's funny is so many people at the gym have the same story as you.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: They were depressed and they were stuck.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't know what to do.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: But they picked up a weight when I got down on the floor doing push-ups, and suddenly it seemed as if everything just switched.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everything changed.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: They found something that was both healthy and they loved.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: They improved.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: And from there they found other habits that would go on to improve their life.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: These men, these women are here to support you because they have been through the same journey that you have been.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it can be intimidating to be the skinniest or the fattest guy walking in the gym.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll tell you right now, walking in the gym as an overweight man is better than walking into the donut shop as an overweight man.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to improve yourself.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: People must respect that.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: People respect you because they see, okay, this guy, maybe he's been through some stuff to get him where he is now.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: But now look at him.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: He's working, he's improving, and he's a guy who's developing into someone I want to be around.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how you build your network.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: As you improve yourself, you earn access to higher and higher level people.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you're just sitting around eating gas station food and drinking and smoking weed, those are the same type of people that you're gonna be around.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're out working out, making money, doing something with your life, you're gonna be around other people who are doing the same thing, who are also working on improving their lives.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want you guys to understand the importance of mental health, and that is why this video was made.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a big role and the purpose I serve for you here, helping you understand that you can be reborn.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can be born again.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how far you've fallen, I don't care how dark and twisted the world may seem, you can be reborn and you can live the life you desire.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So next time you feel as if you have these mental health issues, I want you gotta understand that it is okay, and frankly, it's good to accept that these are issues that you may have.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because only when you accept them can you defeat them.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to just take a moment after this video to think to yourself and consider if you've been doing the right thing.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you have been prioritizing your mental health.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to break the silence.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to be true to yourself, and I want you to be in touch with yourself, in touch with your emotions, and realize that the world needs you.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: The world needs you to defeat this monster so that you can be a positive role model for the future generation.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you guys watching this video.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I truly hope it helped you and I'll be sharing a few resources in the description below that can help you.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate your willingness to both sit down and watch or listen to this episode.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: But more importantly, I appreciate your willingness to understand that you may need help.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I I appreciate your willingness to understand that mental health is not a joke and it's something that must be defeated.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for watching.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great day.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.