Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Watch out, my husband is a douche

Transcript

Watch out, my husband is a douche · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop what you're doing. Here is another world famous prank.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Call from Darren Wackhead, something that six exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm at your service, Darreness at KFM, Dot Dodd said,
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: if you want anybody pranked a.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Man of the people, that's what Lato did. She calls
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: her husband a douche who was from wife his mouth.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: What thinking nonsense is.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: This is my husband is a douche. Says We've got
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: two daughters and he still treats them like kids. They're
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: twenty years old and he still treats them like kids.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: So you know, in South Africa, if.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: You saw the stats this year alone, the the entries
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: for university, it's sure there's very few spaces. Like Stellenbosch
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: had one hundred and six thousand people applying to be
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: for undergraduates first year studies. There's only six thousand spots,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: so that means ae hundred thousand that wanted to go
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: to Stellenbosch won't same sort of numbers for the University
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: of Cape Town. The Joeburg numbers are even worse. The
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: most popular subject that people applied for at Stellenbosch University
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: is medicine and health sciences, medicine and health sciences is
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  Speaker 3: the one that everybody wanted, and there's only a few
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: places there. So in this case, so this is not
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: a twenty twenty six problem. This has been a long
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: problem for many, many years.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Right, and so.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Lorato Anahabi wanted their kids, their two daughters, not kids,
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: their two adult daughter to get a good education, of course,
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: and their desire was always medicine from little girls, medicine.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: So they know where they're studying medicine in Romania. What Romania.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: They're studying medicine at a university in Romania. Sure, that's
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: how far they had to go to get a spot.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're ready a couple of years in. So
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: they come home at the end of the year and
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: then they depart round apart. Now, okay, so it's going
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: all well. Studies are great, they're getting great marks, and
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: they're well on their way to being doctors. And they
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: don't want anybody or anything to derail the stream that
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: they've had since they were little girls.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: They focused all.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Right, and then dad doesn't want them having boyfriends. It's
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: like you stay with your eyes on the prize.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Boys will waste my daughters.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: They will distract you, and they will make you give
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: up on your hopes and dreams. Okay, and then you're
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: gonna just work in the kitchen. But my girls are doctors.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Men stay away, So I'm going to do my best.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Yet two be the worst possible option.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: That should be easy for you to play that role
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: to marry no mina.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Now they're all in on this right obviously, apart from Dad,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: let's go in. I love the fact that you call
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: your husband a douche.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Here he is, I don't understand.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Why are he's being an idiot? Actually? Okay, so your
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: daughters are twenty years old, but he treats them like
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: they're five. Yes, okay, wonderful.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Now they're leaving tomorrow. Hey, they even tomorrow.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: They already had the bride and the only person who
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: was allowed was that gay friend of her.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: And she's basically going to say, listen, Dad, I don't
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: want to go back to Roman yet because I've made
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: the love of my love here in South Africa. That's gonna.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, when he picks up, it's as if
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you've called him.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, here we go, good luck, Okay.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Mama allongle Bunny tell mama, Yes, I'm gonna.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I have I have something to talk to you about.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, what's up?
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to start because it's something I've
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: been thinking about for a long time, and I think
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I have not you today.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: If you want to talk about what?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Uh, I'm gonna I have ya. Okay, what three months
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: ago when you came back from Romania? Yes, uh, there
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: was this boy that I met on Facebook and we
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna I think I'm in love with him and
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: phogom shot and I don't think I want to go
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: back to.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Huh. So you want to get married to this guy?
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: You're gonna cat calling for a Facebook boy?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not going here.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: You're not going to watch.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I don't think I want to go to Romania.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: Have you got mad or something?
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: No, it's just that you know, when you find someone
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  Speaker 2: that you really connect with, you don't want to just connect.
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  Speaker 4: Me in what you know about connections. I'm gonna put
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: on the phone now, cool time understand when you've got
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: met goodbye?
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Would you like to pat?
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, mister and Gubarney, I'm fine, thank you. It's Jeffrey here.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, jeff uh Yeah, Johnny Johnny, Yeah, yes.
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  Speaker 4: Now you're ready.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I'm thirty five, thirty five?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, where do you wait?
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: I'm unemployed at the moment, but i'd.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Like to call it.
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  Speaker 3: I'm in between jobs. I would like to meet you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: When could I meet you?
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Meet me? Picture?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: You want a picture of me?
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: Don't you want to get married before she finishing school?
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: What kind of a man are you?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: You?
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  Speaker 4: No want my kids to finish school?
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah? All right, okay, look you want her to go
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: to Romania and I want her to like remain here.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: What do you think you are?
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Loocause I'm just sort of finishing up with my divorce
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: So my ex wife she's taking most of the stuff.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, you're gonna have no money?
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Can I just can I just put you back to
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: to know me?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Now? Do you know me?
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: Who know me?
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: So?
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  Speaker 4: You don't even know my daughter's.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: That's what I call her?
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: No, i'd call you. That's why I want to call you.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: You can't get married to my daughter just like this?
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Who the hell are you? What do you think you are?
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But why not?
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Man? Sling? And I get out of my phone? You
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: who don't even work? But yeah, I'm back, but shop shop.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: We're gonna shop shop. I don't have to see you.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, can I just give you back to to no me? No,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: no me? Yes, yes, yes you're dad.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: You don't know her name?
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: No mean?
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Hi am?
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: What this guy is doing? Nomina? Nomina? What we are cooler?
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm gonna here with me in the car and
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: we're just picking him up. He doesn't say you work,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: so even now we have to jump him off for
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: his interview a surprise you like him?
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Man?
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: And hello dad, no.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Kul uh oh, y's shiny at your fun panthers. But
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: what do you know about locking girl? That's young? Everybody
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: here old hulu year old man. That girl is too
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  Speaker 4: young woman.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: That's how I lock him.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna go now, okay, but babol hold on,
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: hold on.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, I don't want to ask to start off on
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: the wrong foot because this is our first conversation.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: There's no fourth my boot, there's no all right, you
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: just get out of my system, right, What do you
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: think you think we can just have studied just halfway
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: and then then comes whatever you call yourself. Then you
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: just take her away like yes away, m color mhmm, Dad, dad.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: I'm not your dad, man, but don't look for another woman.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: This one is not avaliable. She's still too young. Umber.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Can can we maybe meet and we can like have
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: a like a shaky shack or something?
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: What shaky shak?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Or go to m.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: Eye. I can see you are not a very same man. Yes,
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: I know it's such as.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I have no idea what you just said to me,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: but I know it's bad.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: It is bad.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not the devil. Here's the love of my life.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: Who love your life? My worst?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Okay? Dead?
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Hold on, let me just tell you one thing. Dead Yeah,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: cause you're speaking. Yes, No, No, it's.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Not Jeffrey, it's wicked Simpson.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: What the hell are you doing to me? What? Stop
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  Speaker 4: doing this?
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  Speaker 3: Yours?
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: One of these I knew had had to take. Man.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: What these kids?
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: We need them to be married otherwise I'll be witnessed
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: in the house for the next twenty years.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: It's j Low here on k FM Morning. So as
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: I said, do you want anybody pranked?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I'll go anywhey I still go and I get out
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: of my phone. I wish that prank came with subtitles.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like I missed the.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Last Yeah, No, but you can just from the tone.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you catch the message.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I didn't actually need to understand anybody was saying. I
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: knew it wasn't good.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: He were sick of you. Sick of you, I mean
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: at some point you were Satan himself. Absolutely. Yeah.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: So so you have not gained a new dad.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: No, Fortunately you were almost there. But you know what,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I'll keep trying