Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 5 things to accept in your life to become happier and more in control (E)

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5 things to accept in your life to become happier and more in control (E) · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome to the episode of
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: today's So in today's episode, I'm going to be talking
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: about five things that you can accept or that you should,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: in my opinion, accept into your life in order to
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: be a lot happier, a lot more carefree, and to
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: also feel like you.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Are really living life on your own terms. Sometimes we
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: get so wrapped up in thoughts and concepts that we
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: never analyze, we never question, and it causes us so
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: much suffering, not pain, but suffering which is very much
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: self inflicted. So we're going to break these things down.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: And when I mentioned these five things, just write them
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: down or remember them. And it's really good to just
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: every so often, every couple of days, bring it back,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: circle back, and mind yourself of those five things and
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: be like, yeap, okay, that's top of mind. I've got
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: a you know, awareness is everything, and once you shed
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: the lighter on it, once you become aware of this thing,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: then it becomes a lot easier to be more in
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: the moment, more present, more appreciative, and to make decisions
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: that are framed in a way that are actually going
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: to help you, okay, because sometimes we're so caught up
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: in all this shit, all this bullshit that our decisions
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: are skewed towards doing things that we think will make
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: other people happy, doing things that we think we should
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  Speaker 2: be doing, and all of that. So these five questions
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  Speaker 2: are definitely going to help you live a happier and
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: more present life. Okay, well not even questions, they're things.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: So let's get straight into the brain fact of today.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: If you're not interested in the brain fact, you can
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: fast forward. I'm roughly ten minutes, I think. Otherwise, let's
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: get straight into MSG. I ate something with MSG and
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: at the other day and it was fucking delicious, and
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey, let's talk about MSG on the podcast. Okay,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: what is MSG? What does it do? And are their
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: negative side effects? And what do these negative side effects
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: even mean? So MSG stands for monosodium glutide, Okay. It
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: is a flavor enhandser and it's added to foods normally
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: at restaurants and also canned goods, soups, deli, meats. And
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  Speaker 2: it's known as an umami substance, which is like that
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  Speaker 2: meaty tasty flavor okay, And it comes from the amino
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: acid l glutamic acid. Okay, Amino acids are the building
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  Speaker 2: blocks of protein and glutamate, so it comes from the
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: amino acid glutamate. It is not the same as glutamine,
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  Speaker 2: so they are two separate things. But glutamate is present
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  Speaker 2: within the brain and also within the body, and it
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  Speaker 2: is a non essential amino acid. Now quickly, I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to break it down. I've spoken about essential amino acids
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: and non essential amino acid and conditional amino acids, so
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: let's very quickly break down what they mean. Non Essential
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  Speaker 2: amino acids means that it is made in the body.
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  Speaker 2: Your body produces it, so it's not essential that you
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: need to get it from anywhere else because your body
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: already makes it. Essential amino acids it's not made in
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  Speaker 2: the body, so it is essential that you get it
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  Speaker 2: from your diet. And conditional amino acids means that it
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: becomes essential, as in you need to get it from
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  Speaker 2: your diet under certain conditions. So if you are fatigued,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: burnt out, ill, certain illnesses, there's a whole bunch of
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: conditions that you fall into the category, then that amino
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: acid can become conditional, meaning that you then need to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: get more off it from your diet. Okay. So if
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: you ever hear about essential amino acids non essential, that
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: kind of there's your little code to break it down.
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  Speaker 2: So this l glutamic acid or glutamine is naturally occurring
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  Speaker 2: in high protein foods such as meat, fish, also in
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  Speaker 2: seaweeds and cheese, vegetables such as mushrooms, tomatoes, broccoli, nuts,
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  Speaker 2: So it's naturally occurring already in your diet. And glutamate
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  Speaker 2: is glutamate, whether it is naturally occurring or whether it
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  Speaker 2: is synthetically produced or from an MSG additive. A molecule
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  Speaker 2: is a molecule. There's no difference on how it behaves
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  Speaker 2: within the body as far as a chemical. From a
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  Speaker 2: chemical standpoint, MSG is made by fermenting carbohydrates sauces such
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  Speaker 2: as sugar, cane, or molasses, et cetera. Okay. Now, there
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  Speaker 2: is a debate whether MSG, as far as the consumption
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  Speaker 2: of MSG in foods is safe or not. It is
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  Speaker 2: approved as safe for consumption in many many, many countries
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  Speaker 2: such as USA, Australia, New Zealand, Europe. Many countries in Europe,
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  Speaker 2: I think most countries in Europe, i'd imagine, and in Australia,
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  Speaker 2: New Zealand, The labeling often comes in the form of
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  Speaker 2: a number, So for MSG, the number is either six
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  Speaker 2: to six, one, six, two, et cetera. There's about nine
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  Speaker 2: different labelings of that kind. However, so in Australia and
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  Speaker 2: New Zealand it is compulsory that if you have MSG
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  Speaker 2: added to the canned or packaged food, it has to
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  Speaker 2: be like it has to say it. But in restaurants
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  Speaker 2: and cafes you're not required to say if you've added
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  Speaker 2: it or not. Now people report that they do have
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  Speaker 2: side effects from consuming MSG, so it's this symptoms of
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  Speaker 2: MSG consumption also known as MSG symptom complex and these
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  Speaker 2: symptoms that are reported anecdotally are headaches, sweating, face tightness
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  Speaker 2: or pressure, numbing or tingling on the face, flushed face, nausea,
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  Speaker 2: feeling weak, and chest paint. But there's been a lot
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  Speaker 2: of research done and the research linking these directly keyword
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  Speaker 2: directly to MSG when consumed within the food is wavering
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  Speaker 2: at best. Okay, So there are a lot of studies
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  Speaker 2: that have returned really concerning results in association with MSG
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  Speaker 2: and neurotoxicity, which is basically something that's toxic to your neurons,
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  Speaker 2: your brain cells, cardiotoxicity, inflammation, behavioral changes, et cetera, et cetera,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: et cetera. However, a lot of these studies that are
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  Speaker 2: quoted when people talk about how dangerous quote unquote MSG is,
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  Speaker 2: there's a lot of flaws in the study and in
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  Speaker 2: how it is presented, and there's not much evidence to
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  Speaker 2: show that the studies that show that MSG is so
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  Speaker 2: dangerous can actually be translated into human trials based on
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  Speaker 2: dietary intake of MSG. So what I mean by this
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  Speaker 2: is you're going to see a lot of people on Instagram,
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  Speaker 2: on social media articles that talk about and I'm not
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  Speaker 2: just referring to MSGA here, studies in general. This study
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  Speaker 2: proved that this causes cancer in people, or this substance
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  Speaker 2: causes this causes that, or this can you know, make
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: you blind. And there's so many studies that have these
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  Speaker 2: really hectic claims, but when you actually look at the
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: study that is being referenced, you'll realize that these claims
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  Speaker 2: that they're making cannot actually be translated to human trials.
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  Speaker 2: So when you look at trials, you've got something called
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  Speaker 2: pre clinical trials and then you've got clinical trials. Clinical
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  Speaker 2: trials are trials of drugs of anything that are done
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  Speaker 2: on humans, that is, clinical trials. A lot of the
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  Speaker 2: studies that people reference when something's oh, this is going
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: to kill you, this is going to kill are done
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  Speaker 2: in pre clinical trials, and pre clinical trials are not
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  Speaker 2: done on humans. They are done on animals, They are
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  Speaker 2: done in petri dishes, they are done on cell cultures.
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  Speaker 2: So it's very misleading when people quote a study without
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  Speaker 2: actually saying this is actually a pre clinical study, it's
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  Speaker 2: not been tested on humans, and then have like these
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  Speaker 2: really catastrophic claims. So a lot of these catastrophic things
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  Speaker 2: that you hear about MSG are in pre clinical studies,
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  Speaker 2: that is, in petri dishes and in rats or mice.
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  Speaker 2: And additionally to that, you're looking you've got to look
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  Speaker 2: at how it is administered. So you're looking at injecting
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  Speaker 2: really high doses of MSG, injecting into a rat versus
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  Speaker 2: a human, ingesting a very very small dosage within food
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  Speaker 2: or like as far as eating it where it has
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: to be digested through the gut, and then it's got
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: all these processes that your body goes through. So it's
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  Speaker 2: very very very different. So if you go on google
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  Speaker 2: MSG dangerous, you're gonna come across a lot of shit
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  Speaker 2: that says it's really fucking bad for you. But like
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  Speaker 2: with most things, the poison is in the dose and MSG,
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  Speaker 2: as far as the studies and the data show, it's
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  Speaker 2: not that fucking bad for you at all. Okay. Now,
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  Speaker 2: if you're someone that sweats a lot when you have
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  Speaker 2: MSG and it's just you know, it doesn't feel good,
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  Speaker 2: just don't have it. You know. It's just like milk.
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  Speaker 2: Some people cannot handle milk, but it doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 2: milk is just going to be harmful for every single
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  Speaker 2: person in the world. Same as nuts. I can't eat walnuts,
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  Speaker 2: but it's not to say that because I can't have
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  Speaker 2: walnuts because they cause this huge reaction in the roof
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  Speaker 2: of my mouth and asthma attack, doesn't mean that it's
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  Speaker 2: bad for everybody. Okay. So there's going to be certain
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  Speaker 2: things that are not going to agree with certain individuals,
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  Speaker 2: but in small doses, it's not really going to be
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  Speaker 2: that bad. Now, there's also articles online that report that
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  Speaker 2: MSG causes cellular inflammation or that it injures brain cells. However,
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  Speaker 2: there are no properly formatted studies that prove this. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: only like I said, preclinical studies that show this. So
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  Speaker 2: again it's not people eating the MSG. It's more like
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  Speaker 2: this has been injected into a rats, like what a
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  Speaker 2: certain part of the rat's body, and it's not gone
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  Speaker 2: through its gut. Controlled intervention studies show no association with
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  Speaker 2: MSG consumption and its effect on body weight as well.
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  Speaker 2: So there's this all these things that have come out
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  Speaker 2: that say that consuming MSG causes weight gain, But the
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  Speaker 2: studies that did show this were around injecting rodents with
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  Speaker 2: MSG and looking at its actions on the brain and
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  Speaker 2: how it then influences energy intake and metabolism. So they
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  Speaker 2: did these studies, they injected these rats and they're like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: this is influencing energy intake and metabolism in the brain,
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  Speaker 2: and then it's influencing how the rat eats and how
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  Speaker 2: much it consumes, and therefore the rat then gains weight. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: but note that injecting a rodent is going to be
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  Speaker 2: very different to eating MSG as human. And this also
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: comes down to something called pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, and that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: is how the drug interacts with the body and how
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: the body interacts with the drug. Okay, So when you
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: eat something, when you ingest glutamate. It is metabolically compartmentalized,
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  Speaker 2: and it does not passively cross biological membranes. It primarily
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: almost all of it stays within the gut, okay, and
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  Speaker 2: so you're not really seeing much of this mstgr when eaten,
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  Speaker 2: not injected. When eaten, we're not going around to restaurants
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  Speaker 2: injecting our eyeballs with MSG. So when eaten, you're not
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  Speaker 2: really seeing any MSG kind of penetrate into the bloodstream,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: and you're also not seeing MSG penetrate the blood brain barrier,
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  Speaker 2: so therefore it's not gaining access to the brain. It
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  Speaker 2: does not raise brain glutamate concentration, and therefore it does
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  Speaker 2: not disrupt brain functions. So there's no study on humans
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  Speaker 2: that shows that MSG causes weight gain, no clinical trials
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  Speaker 2: that show that. So other research suggests that msgry is
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: completely metabolized within your gut, and from there it either
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: serves as an energy source or it's converted to other
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: amino acids or is used in the production of like
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: bioactive compounds and things like that. So overall, there's not
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: compelling evidence suggesting that MSG alters brain chemistry when consumed
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: in normal amounts. So Yeah. Basically, to wrap it up,
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  Speaker 2: if you don't feel well after consuming MSG, you are
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: intolerant to it, you shouldn't have it, just like any
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: kind of food where you're feeling like this just doesn't
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: feel good, I don't want to have it. But when
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: it comes to the science that is available and the
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: studies that have been done, it is not that bad
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  Speaker 2: for you because it is kind of like a It
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  Speaker 2: is mimicking something that is already naturally occurring within many, many,
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  Speaker 2: many foods that we already consume, and it also mimics
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: something that is already occurring within your own body. Cool.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense? I find that really interesting. Let's
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  Speaker 2: get straight into the episode topic of today, which is
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: five things to accept so you can be happier and
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: more care free since number one, and you can write
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: this down by the way one, freedom comes from only
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: ever controlling your actions and not the actions of others.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: In other words, trying to change somebody is never going
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: to work. You are never going to get your sense
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: of freedom from controlling or changing those around you. The
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: most you can hope for is to influence somebody, but
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: not change them. The earlier you stop trying to change
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: somebody the sooner you are going to find in a
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: peace and happiness. And that goes with your partner as
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: well with your parents, with your siblings. So often we
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: feel so torn and upset and disappointed. Disappointment is a
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: huge one because we've tried to change the people around us.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: We've tried to quote unquote help them, whether you genuinely
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: are trying to help them or whether you think you're
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: trying to help them, and to no avail. So it
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: causes a lot of distress, okay, And that distress then
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: impacts our mental health, It impacts our level of happiness
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: because we've tried and tried and tried to change them.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: When you have to realize that no matter what, whether
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: it's good for them or whether it's not good for them,
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: you ultimately have no power to really change somebody. You
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: can force someone to do something, you can manipulate someone
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: to do something, You can try and control somebody through
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: certain tactics to force them into doing something, but you
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: can't change that person. Because the only way someone can
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: change innately is through themselves, through wanting that change, or
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: through themselves finding them in a situation where it's forced
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: to change. But that's at an individual level. You can
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: never change somebody truly, Okay, the best you could do,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: and by best, I don't mean it's it's good. But
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: the most as you could do is manipulate somebody against
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: their will, because if they wanted to do it, then
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: they've created the change, not you. You've inspired them. At best.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: The most you, if I could do, is inspire. But
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: we lose so much sleep over the fact that we're
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: trying to change someone. The amount of messages that I
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: get from people saying, oh, but you know my relationship
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: with my parents, You know it's you know, I'm trying
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: to rescue it, but it causes me so much grateful.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: What can I do to make my parents it? Nothing? Nothing?
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: You have to come to terms with the fact that
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: you are not them. They are not you. You see
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: things differently, you experience things differently. What you think is
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: fair is different to what they think is fair. You're
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: looking at a situation from a different angle to how
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: they are. The best you could do is try to
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: be understood and try to understand, but even then be
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: able to just let go of the fact that you
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: will never and can never change somebody. It is liberating
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: knowing that, because then you realize, wait a minute, the
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: power was never in my hand. It was never up
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: to me to help this person. It was never my
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: responsibility to motivate them, to get them to change. It
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: was never on me. The fact that they never changed,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: or that they never grew at the rate that I grew,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: or whatever the whole bunch of reasons that could make
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: you upset, It's not on you. And if there's all
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: this conflict, and if you're trying, you like, I want
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: this person to develop at the rate that I'm developing,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: it's okay to want it, but don't put the pressure
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: on yourself thinking that you should have been able to
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: achieve that in somebody else, because you can't. Accept it
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: as soon as possible, and you will feel so much
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: more at ease and at peace with your life. Okay.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Number two, Pain is your teacher, So do not avoid pain.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Without pain, you may never learn the deepest, most important
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: parts about yourself. You may never learn those lessons that
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: are pivotal that force personal evolution, that force growth that
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: you know. You may never learn what your real ability
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: is to adapt and learn and grow. Without pain. You
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: do not develop at the rate that you could. And
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying go out there and be a martyr
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: and cause yourself all this pain. But I'm saying that
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: when a painful situation does arise, meet it and don't
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: avoid it, because the avoidance of pain causes suffering. The
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: acceptance of pain causes growth. And what I mean by
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: that is that pain is pain. Pain is something that
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: you cannot control that comes into your life for whatever reason,
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: whether you've caused it, whether someone's caused it, whether something
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: completely out of your control has occurred, like loss, grief,
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: a whole bunch of things can cause pain. That's pain. Okay,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Avoiding pain causes suffering. Suffering is a choice. Suffering is
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: intentional and an example of this. What I mean by that,
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: someone who avoids pain and then it causes suffering is
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: someone who says, Okay, I've been heartbroken, right, I'm never
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: gonna let my wall down again. I'm never gonna trust
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: anybody again, I'm never gonna let someone get that close
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: to me again. So they have their walls up, they
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: never have intimacy again, and then they suffer. Everyone's out
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: to get me, no one's there for me. I'm always alone.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I'm this and that and then you feel it's you
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: against the world and it's a very you know, you suffer,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: You really suffer because you don't have true human connection.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: You've like, you know nobody, there's nobody out there to date.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: There's no good connections out there. You know, it's it's fucked,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: the dating world's fucked. And then you're living this self
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: fulfilling prophecy. That's suffering. That's suffering because you are avoiding
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: dealing with the pain. Dealing with the pain is going
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: through a heartbreak, allowing yourself to feel the feelings of
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: the heartbreak, allowing yourself to acknowledge that you've been either abandoned,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: you've been hurt, that maybe you yourself did something wrong
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: and there's something that needs to be you learnt from here.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Maybe you fucked up in the situation and lost someone
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: you loved and need to learn from it, need to
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: acknowledge it, need to see where the lessons are, and
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: then you grow from it because you're like, oh, okay,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: you know you heal. You give yourself time and space
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: to heal. So that's the difference. Pain is inevitable. Suffering
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: is a choice. But if you avoid the pain, you suffer. Okay,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: And this can be in a whole bunch of other
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: situations as well. For example, if you avoid the pain
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: of putting yourself out there and trying to do hard
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: things in the fear of failing, like I don't want
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: to try out for that job, or I don't want
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: to try out for that PhD, or I don't want
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: to try out for that because if I fail, it
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: would be so you know, it'll be such a blow,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: or it'll be embarrassing or it would be humiliating. So
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: then you're avoiding that pain quote unquote pain, and then
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: what happens you suffer. You suffer because you live a
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: life thinking what if? What if? What if? What if?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: What if? Okay, So pain you should never run away from.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: It is your teacher. It is the greatest teacher you're
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: ever going to have, So embrace it. Don't go seeking it,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: but embrace it when it comes your way. Sadness is
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: a part of life. Life is all about light and
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: dark contrast constantly and even like for example, missing somebody.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: When I miss somebody, I look at it as a
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: huge like it's a good teacher for me because when
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I when I'm away from somebody when I miss, you know,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: relatives or friends or whatever, I think, Wow, if I
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: didn't have this contrast of missing, I wouldn't realize how
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: much I really love and appreciate this person in my life.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: That contrast is sometimes really crucial to teach you the
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: importance of certain things. Okay, sometimes when you you know,
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: have loss for you know, a breakup or whatever, you're
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: able to be like, wow, I was really capable of
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: experiencing true love. That feeling is available there for me.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: I might not have it right now, but it just
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: has taught me what's available in the future for me
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: in other relationships that might blossom later down the line,
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: you know. So this contrast, I think is really really
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: important in life. I think, you know, I wouldn't appreciate
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: the things that I have in my life now if
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: it wasn't for the failures that I've had in the past,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: because the failures have taught me. I think personally too,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: It's helped me appreciate and really relish when things do
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: go well for me. So use the time of pain
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: to be kind to yourself, to be patient with yourself,
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: and to learn as much as you can about yourself.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Don't shy away from it. The second last one, number four,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: you have to accept being misunderstood. Trying to get people
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: to understand you, understand where you're coming from can be
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: such a fuck, can cock block to get to where
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: you want to go. It could be debilitating, it can
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: restrict you. And I think it's important to aim to
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: be a good communicator and to seek to understand. But
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: not everyone else does that, and not everyone agrees with that.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: So my aim always is to try my best to
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: communicate my point across in easiest way possible. But that
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I expect, as a result of that
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: to be understood. I'm just going to do my part
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: aiming to be to be understood. But if I'm not
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: understood after I've done what I can, I'm at peace
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: with that. Genuinely. I used to not be, but I
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: am now because I understand that everyone perceives things differently.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Everyone's gone through a different fucking life journey to get
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: to where they are now. I can't presume that the
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: person right next to me, or even my partner, perceives
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: things the way I perceive them because we've had a
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: upbringing with different life experiences. So you've got to look
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: at it as you know. The best I can do
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: is to be as good a communicator as possible, to
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: be calm, to explain myself, and not presume that people
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: know where I'm coming from. All these things help you
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: become a good communicator, to try and look at it
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: from their perspective whenever possible, if you have insight into
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: their perspective, and also seek to understand where the other
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: person's coming from and ask them questions. So that helps
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: you communicate better. But once you've done all of that,
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: it is so normal and so fine to be misunderstood.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to go around and not explain myself
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: and be a wanker and we fuck everyone. Everyone can
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: get fucked. I'm gonna do whatever I want, fuck you all.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying. So that's what I why
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I said. It's important to do your best to be
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: a good communicator. But once you've done what you can do,
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: let go of the need to be understood. If someone's
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: not going to seek to understand you, or if someone
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: just doesn't under stands you, maybe they've tried but they
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: still don't get it, that is also okay. That is okay.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: They don't share the same brain and fucking brainstem and
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: all the above. And the problem with feeling that everyone
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: has to understand you is that a lot of the
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: time we use being understood as the certificate that we
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: need or the qualification that we need or the allowance
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: that we need in order to go ahead and do
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: that thing that we want to do. And if people
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: don't understand us, then we wait, then we hold back.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Oh but they don't really get it. I can't really
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: do this, you know. I want to go and do
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: this thing. Oh, but my family doesn't understand it. I
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: don't want to be part of this group anymore. H
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: but these people don't understand it. So I'll just stay
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: because I don't want to be misunderstood. Who suffers you?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Who's in pain you? Because you're putting so much weight
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: on being understood that at the end of the day,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: it controls you. You're allowing these external things to control you.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: But ultimately it's in your control because you could go
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: and do that thing while being misunderstood, and that people
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: will either then understand you once you've done it, or
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: just accept it and still not understand it. The amount
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: of things that people around me do that I don't
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: really truly understand, but I just accept because it's none
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: of my fucking business. Is astounding, and we're all alive,
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: we're all good, We're fine. I'm not losing sleep at
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: night because I don't understand the motivations behind what a
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: lot of people that I know do. It's fine. Sometimes
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: people do things that I absolutely do not understand, but
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: it works for them. Isn't that what? Ultimately what the
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: aim is to live a leader life that works for you,
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: whether people understand it or not. So remind yourself often
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: I have to accept that I will be misunderstood, and
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I will take that in my stride and proceed with caution,
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: but proceed okay. And the last one, which I've spoken
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: about many times in my life and end in the podcast,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: actually more so than in my life, is that nothing lasts.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Nothing lasts, nothing last, And that's an important thing to note,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: not the good, not the bad, and even And I'm
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: not saying the good's gonna end. You're fucked. Now, you're
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: all fucked. I'm saying that these good moments are short lived.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: There will be other good moments and more and more
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: and more good moments hopefully you have an infinite string
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: of good moments. But this moment here will end. This
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: time with your friends as it is right now will end.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Some of them are going to move away. Some of
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: them you'll see way less if they have children and
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: a family, and you know, some of them will get
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: a different career. Some of them might get into a
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: relationship where they put all their you know, time and
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: energy to that and see you weigh less. There's you know,
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: people might grow out of this friendship, but where you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: are right now, that's really special and unique. Or sometimes
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: it'll evolve for the better in a different way. Like
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I look at the different evolutions that my friendship has
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: had with my Red Bull goals, and every single one
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: of them I've loved, but they've all been different. And
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: I look back at when we all worked at Red Bull,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: very different to where we are now, and it was
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: so beautiful and it doesn't take away from how beautiful
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: the dynamic is now. But we'll never get what we
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: had back then ever. Again, that was this time in
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: history that will never be relived based on where we were,
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: based on who we were, based on the fact that
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: we were all you know, young at Uni care free study.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: You know, you've got to look at your life like that,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: nothing fucking lasts. Don't take things for granted. Don't think, oh,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: this is just this is it, so it's all good.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I don't have to care about it. I look at
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: my relationship with Tyrone, and while I aim for us
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: to be together forever, which again you can't control, I
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: also am aware that our relationship will have many, many,
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: many evolutions. So how we are right now that's not
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: going to be the same forever. So I want to
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: really relish it where we live right now. I want
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: to relish it. The time we have with our dog
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: while he's young. I want to relish it. You know,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: always be aware that nothing lasts, and then when it's bad,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: remind yourself that nothing lasts. It's sometimes it's so debilitating,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: and it holds you back so much, and it shrinks
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: your awareness and your universe so much. When something bad
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: has happened to you and it takes over your whole life,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: but always remind yourself every bad thing that has happened
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: to me, the intensity of that thing has not lasted.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: It's either gone away completely or I've grown and learnt
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: to live with it. In a way that no longer
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: consumes my every living thought. Okay, so you always remind
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: yourself of that with the good and with the bad,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: and the more you can accept that nothing last, it
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: makes you be much better at appreciating the good moments
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: in your life, at milking the good moments in your life.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: And it makes you be a lot more accepting and
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: patient with the bad moments in your life. You know
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: when those bad moments happen, Oh, sometimes it's all consuming
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: and then you can't appreciate or enjoy anything good that's
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: going on in your life. So remind yourself this will end.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know when. I don't need to know when,
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: but I have to remind myself that in every example
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: of pain in my life, it's come to an end
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: as far as how intense that pain was, or it's
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: completely gone away and I've gotten something better. Okay, so
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: let's go over those five things again. Five things to accept,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: really accept, not begrudgingly, just fucking take on and be
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: like this is fucking bullshit, but Alexis has made me
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: do it. No, genuinely accept Welcome into your life. Number one.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Freedom comes from only ever controlling your actions, not trying
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: to control others. Trying to change someone will never work.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Number two, pain is your teacher, and without it, you
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: may never learn the most important parts about yourself, and
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: you may never learn the lessons that will you know,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: bring on your personal evolution. Number three, you are mortal,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: so don't sweat the small things and pay attention to
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: what can be appreciated and enjoyed today. Number four except
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: being misunderstood, you know, because that can cock block you
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: from doing the things that you want to do in
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: your life. And number five, remind yourself that with the
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: good and with the bad, nothing lasts. Okay, so use
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: this as a driver, as a driving force in your life.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: That is it. Those are the five points for the
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: pot for you this week. And I want you to
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: write this down. I want you to remind yourself of
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: this maybe for the next seven days. Make this the
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: first thing you remind yourself of every day for the
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: next seven days. Put it down on a piece of
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: paper and put it on your bedside table when you
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: start the day. When you wake up, the slate is clean.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: You've just woken up, your awareness is clean. Read these
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: five things out to yourself and see if you can
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: carry those lessons with you for the day and see
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: if it influences your behavior, see if it influences how
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: you make decisions, and see if it influences how you
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: interact with those you love and also those people that
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: you can't fucking tolerate either, because I think that when
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: we prime ourselves and we prep our awareness with certain questions,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: with certain statements, it genuinely can positively influence how you
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: then behave and you will behave according to the primary
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: thoughts that are in your awareness and in and you're subconscious.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: So it's important to go over these things or things
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: that resonate with you. Maybe it's just two of them
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: that really stood out to you. Go over it often
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: and off and often all the time, so then it
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: becomes this, you know, like a constant within your subconscious
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: mind and in your conscious awareness as well. Guys, thank
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: you so much for listening to today's podcast episode. Love
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: you guys so much, Love all my global beans around
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: the world. Please, if you have time, give a five
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: star rating review it. Every time you guys rate and
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: review and share the podcast, it helps reach more audiences,
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: which is the overall aim of what I do to
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: reach as many people as possible and to help people
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: change their relationship with themselves and with their brains. Guys,
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: thank you so much. As always remember, be kind to yourself,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: be kind to your brain. Don't take shit from anyone,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: and especially don't take shit from yourself. Don't