Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / It's The Worst Time of The Year For Narcissists

Transcript

It's The Worst Time of The Year For Narcissists · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  It's the worst time of the year for narcissist.
• 0:07
  It's narc season, y'all. It is narc season.
• 0:10
  The worst time of the year for narcissistic people and damn
• 0:15
  near the worst time of the year for anybody that's in a
• 0:18
  relationship with a narcissist or a highly toxic person, a
• 0:22
  highly emotionally immature person, somebody who lacks
• 0:25
  emotional depth. Of course.
• 0:28
  If you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
• 0:29
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself.
• 0:30
  Here to give you the inside look inside look at the mind of a
• 0:34
  narcissist. Y'all now by show of hands.
• 0:38
  Who here has heard of narc season?
• 0:44
  Me. So many people have heard about
• 0:47
  narc season because it's the worst time of the year.
• 0:51
  It's like narc season is the time of the year where it goes
• 0:55
  from October to damn near February of next year, right?
• 1:00
  It's the holiday seasons where it goes back-to-back to back.
• 1:06
  Did you cut your hair? Yes, ma'am, I did.
• 1:09
  It goes back-to-back to back. It's called narc season, 'cause
• 1:13
  you look, look at it y'all, you got Halloween, you got
• 1:16
  Thanksgiving, you got Christmas, then you got New Year's, and
• 1:21
  then you got Valentine's Day. In between all of that, there
• 1:24
  might be some birthdays, there might be some other stuff that's
• 1:27
  going on. It's narc season.
• 1:28
  There's so much emotional energy that is wasted or spent this
• 1:34
  time of the year by so many different people.
• 1:37
  And as you all know, that narcissist, I do, this is my
• 1:41
  belief that narcissists have very limited emotional capacity.
• 1:45
  We have the ability to have emotions, right?
• 1:49
  We have the ability to have emotions, but we have low
• 1:54
  emotional capacity. We don't have enough to go
• 1:56
  around. We get, we get emotionally
• 1:58
  overwhelmed very easily. So think about it, if we have
• 2:04
  very limited emotional capacity, very low emotional intelligence,
• 2:09
  right, this time of the year, what is all about?
• 2:12
  Getting together, spending time together, showing love, giving
• 2:16
  gifts, receiving gifts, spending time with your family, love,
• 2:20
  character, affection. You can see how that right there
• 2:23
  means so much. It means so much emotional
• 2:26
  energy is being spent, right? Who's it that Coco loves?
• 2:30
  The emotional overload. Absolutely true.
• 2:33
  It's an emotional overload. So you get a lot of narcissistic
• 2:37
  people during this time period that start to act up.
• 2:41
  They start to behave erratically.
• 2:43
  They start to withdraw from everything.
• 2:48
  And that's the way it goes. It's like you can't.
• 2:50
  Yeah, it's year in and year out. Year in and year out is how it
• 2:57
  goes. Like you cannot escape if you
• 2:59
  dealt with a narcissist or a toxic person.
• 3:02
  You've you've experienced narc season, you've probably had a
• 3:06
  bad birthday, you probably had a bad holiday season.
• 3:10
  It's year in and year out. You ever wonder why around this
• 3:13
  time of the year, your narcissistic partner or parent
• 3:16
  or whoever it is starts behaving erratically and you're like,
• 3:20
  what the hell is going on with you?
• 3:22
  Why do you start acting so weird?
• 3:24
  It's just Halloween. It's just Thanksgiving.
• 3:27
  It's just Christmas, it's just New Year's, it's just
• 3:32
  Valentine's Day. It's just my birthday.
• 3:34
  You see how all that's back-to-back to back.
• 3:40
  There is no break here. So for that narcissistic person,
• 3:44
  there's absolutely no break. And yeah, you can get one like
• 3:48
  the Artist Daily said you will. You can get one that will whine
• 3:52
  a lot. You get one that that you get
• 3:55
  ones that whine a lot. And This is why sometimes around
• 3:58
  this time of the year, they start, they stop giving you
• 4:01
  gifts, they stop wanting to do things.
• 4:03
  They stop wanting to travel. It's just another holiday.
• 4:06
  It's just that, you know, imagine not only is it the
• 4:11
  holiday season, it could be an anniversary in here, your
• 4:15
  wedding, your wedding anniversary, right, your dating
• 4:18
  anniversary, your birthday, a graduation ceremony, right, a
• 4:23
  promotion, something. It's always something going on.
• 4:26
  So this time of the year for so many people that are dealing
• 4:29
  with narcissists is going to be rough.
• 4:32
  It just is. That's the way, y'all.
• 4:34
  That's the way the cookie, the way the cookie is cut, right?
• 4:37
  That's the way the cookie is cut.
• 4:39
  Vicki says 1228 be that here. That week is going to be
• 4:42
  amazing. There you go.
• 4:43
  You got. Yeah, she she, she, she already
• 4:45
  reframed her. So good for you, Vicki, Good for
• 4:49
  you. But that's the way it goes right
• 4:50
  there. Y'all.
• 4:51
  They might have a bad attitude. Yeah, bad, bad attitude at the
• 4:54
  minimum, Right. I think some people would just
• 4:57
  pray for a bad attitude. Well, you can have a stank ass
• 5:00
  attitude as long as we get to my mom's house.
• 5:01
  OK, Long we long we can survive the holidays with with your with
• 5:05
  your parents and your family. You can.
• 5:07
  Your attitude can be as stank as you want it to be.
• 5:10
  I can. Look, I don't give a damn if I
• 5:12
  don't give a damn if your attitude so stank.
• 5:14
  We can. I can smell it, right?
• 5:17
  I don't give a damn if I can smell your attitude from the
• 5:20
  from the car. I just don't care.
• 5:22
  Just help us make it through right?
• 5:27
  So this time of the year right here, y'all is really about you
• 5:30
  surviving right? This is a this is a survival
• 5:33
  time for you right here. You just try to have to make it
• 5:36
  through because that narcissistic person is going to
• 5:39
  act a monkey during this time, right?
• 5:42
  They're going to act a monkey during this time of the year.
• 5:45
  This is how they operate. This is how they behave.
• 5:48
  This is what they do. It's them there.
• 5:50
  Like it's very hard and difficult to get out of this
• 5:53
  type of stuff, right? It, it really can be.
• 5:56
  So that's why I just tell people like you have to survive this
• 5:58
  time of the year, like if you're with a narcissist or you're
• 6:02
  dealing with them, even if like even if you're not together,
• 6:04
  they can still make your life hard.
• 6:06
  Even if you're not together with that narcissistic person, they
• 6:10
  can still try to make your life hard by being dismissive by
• 6:14
  trying to keep like you trying to Co parent together.
• 6:17
  They'll try to keep the kids like they're supposed to drop
• 6:19
  the kids off. They'll keep do ya.
• 6:24
  They'll try to keep the kids longer.
• 6:26
  They'll do all of this stuff to this to disrupt your day, to
• 6:31
  disrupt your Christmas season, to disrupt your holiday season.
• 6:35
  Year in and the year out. Dang, a whole season.
• 6:39
  Yeah. It's kind of like, you know,
• 6:41
  spring, winter, fall, autumn, whatever.
• 6:43
  I'm I'm out of summer. I might have missed one y'all
• 6:45
  narc season. It's coming.
• 6:48
  It comes and goes. It comes and goes, you know it
• 6:52
  and it's kind of yeah, it it's kind of crazy how it works
• 6:55
  because you get this year in and year out and y'all know it.
• 6:58
  I know a lot of people when I first came in here usually like,
• 7:01
  well, look, this the this is my first time hearing about narc
• 7:04
  season. I have never heard of it before
• 7:06
  because a lot of people haven't heard of it, right?
• 7:09
  Seasonal NPD is funny. A lot of people haven't heard of
• 7:13
  it. But once you've experienced it,
• 7:15
  now you understand exactly what you've been going through and
• 7:17
  what you've been dealing with, who, who you've been dealing
• 7:20
  with, right? Am I right?
• 7:23
  Because the more you deal with this type of person, the more
• 7:26
  you recognize, the more you recognize the signs and look,
• 7:30
  the better you get at predicting these behaviors, right?
• 7:33
  The better you get at predicting these behaviors, the better off
• 7:36
  you will be because you know, like a lot of times it's not
• 7:41
  knowing that gets you. You don't even know it's coming.
• 7:43
  You can't anticipate it and whatnot, right?
• 7:45
  So you don't know what's coming. You don't know what's happening,
• 7:48
  right? But now, because you see it,
• 7:51
  because you've experienced it, because you dealt with it,
• 7:52
  you're better prepared for it, right?
• 7:56
  You, you're better prepared for it.
• 7:58
  And the more you prepare, the better off you are, you know,
• 8:02
  because they're going to try to set you off.
• 8:04
  They're going to try to bring you down.
• 8:06
  They're going to try to do things to antagonize you on
• 8:09
  purpose. They're going to try to do
• 8:10
  things to set you back and to set you off on purpose.
• 8:14
  But if you know it's coming, you can prepare for it.
• 8:17
  If you know they're going to try to get a reaction from you, you
• 8:20
  already don't give it to them. Don't.
• 8:23
  Yeah, I know. I know when I say it like that,
• 8:26
  it sounds super simplistic, right?
• 8:28
  He was like, well, Lee, I wish I could just not give it to him.
• 8:30
  You make it sound like it's easy.
• 8:32
  I don't want to make it sound like it's easy.
• 8:34
  I'm just saying you still have work to do.
• 8:37
  You still have to put the work in when you're dealing with
• 8:40
  somebody like this. You send divorce papers through
• 8:42
  during narc season. Buckle up.
• 8:45
  They might lose their damn mind. Buckle up, right?
• 8:50
  Because that's the mentality of a lot of narcissistic people.
• 8:54
  Everything is about him. He has so many opportunities to
• 8:57
  ruin your day. Then act like the victim.
• 8:58
  Yeah, always going to play the victim.
• 9:00
  Like it can be look, narcissist. I feel like during narc, during
• 9:04
  during narc season, right. During narc season, you're
• 9:09
  going, you might get seasonal depression.
• 9:11
  I think a lot of narcissists during narc season are going to
• 9:14
  experience this seasonal depression, but they it spreads
• 9:17
  like a damn virus. It spreads like a virus like the
• 9:20
  seasonal depression and narcissists do spreads like a
• 9:23
  damn virus. And you're like, like, what the
• 9:25
  hell is wrong with you? You're like, just be happy like
• 9:28
  the families together every day, like everybody's happy and
• 9:30
  healthy this year. What the hell is wrong with you?
• 9:32
  And they can't explain it. They just are acting weird and
• 9:35
  taking it out on you. I heard my cat must be outside,
• 9:43
  but that's the way it goes right there.
• 9:45
  Y'all. So if you're dealing with a
• 9:46
  narcissist doing narc season, who said that Jeremiah yes, narc
• 9:50
  season could also be Hoover and season.
• 9:54
  Good one good one good one. It's the worst time of the year
• 9:57
  for them, especially if they're alone, like the especially if
• 10:00
  they're alone and also now they get into the hands like you know
• 10:03
  what I know we haven't talked all year and I treat I treated
• 10:07
  you horribly all year. I treated you horribly all year.
• 10:12
  But you know what? I think we need to get back
• 10:15
  together. I think we need to be.
• 10:17
  I think we need to try this again.
• 10:20
  I think we need to try this again.
• 10:21
  You know, I really, really do. I really do.
• 10:25
  Yeah. Yes, they can.
• 10:26
  They can be. They can be Narcissists can be
• 10:29
  very predictable, but you don't want to tell them that they're
• 10:33
  predictable. You know why?
• 10:34
  Because when you tell, when you tell a narcissist how
• 10:37
  predictable they are, they start to do certain things to try to
• 10:40
  just change up their personality.
• 10:42
  They just Absolutely. Yeah.
• 10:50
  So it is the way it goes right there, y'all.
• 10:52
  So I feel like as you continue to deal with this, don't tell
• 10:56
  them that they're predictable because I'm telling you they
• 10:58
  will absolutely try to switch things up just to be
• 11:02
  unpredictable towards you, right?
• 11:03
  Just to try to set you off, just to do things like that.
• 11:07
  I promise you, yeah, narc season can be the worst season of the
• 11:12
  year for so many people. But if you anticipate it, if you
• 11:14
  prepare for it, you already know.
• 11:16
  You already know. They're like, you already know
• 11:19
  that if you're getting ready every year around this time, you
• 11:22
  go to your parents house for Thanksgiving, you already know
• 11:25
  they're going to act up and just throw, throw a fit about going.
• 11:28
  You know they don't want to go. And if they go, they're going to
• 11:30
  make a scene. If they don't go, they're going
• 11:32
  to make a scene. Choose what makes you happiest,
• 11:36
  right? I know not everybody leaves, not
• 11:37
  everybody wants to leave. I get that, right?
• 11:39
  Choose what makes you happiest. You're going to argue if you go.
• 11:41
  You're going to argue if you say you might as well go and have
• 11:44
  fun and just know what the hell they going to do later on.
• 11:46
  But of course, be safe. Of course you have to stay safe
• 11:51
  and be safe in these situations because you never know how
• 11:53
  they'll react at the end of the day, right?
• 11:55
  But this is something that you have to prepare for, right?
• 11:59
  This is what this is what goes on.
• 12:00
  This is the type of stuff that they will continue to do over
• 12:03
  and over and over again, year in and year out.
• 12:06
  It does. Yeah.
• 12:07
  It does not get better. I know some people hold up, hold
• 12:10
  out hope that it will get better.
• 12:12
  It won't get better. Ask yourself, why would it get
• 12:15
  better if it doesn't have to? Why would they change the
• 12:18
  behavior that they feel like they get rewarded for?
• 12:20
  Why would they do that? You see what I'm saying?
• 12:24
  This is the worst time of the year to be dealing with the
• 12:27
  narcissist. Yeah, especially, right?
• 12:28
  Yeah. Cuffing season.
• 12:29
  It could be. It could be love bombing cuffing
• 12:30
  season as well, right? It could absolutely be love
• 12:34
  bombing slash cuffing season for that narcissistic person.
• 12:37
  They could absolutely try to love bomb the hell out of you
• 12:40
  during this time of the year too, right?
• 12:41
  Can't they? You know what I mean?
• 12:43
  They could just try to get back to you, love bomb you and give
• 12:45
  you the gifts to set you up for the next year, right?
• 12:48
  They could absolutely set you up for the next year through love
• 12:51
  bombing and cuffing you right now, you know, So it gets good
• 12:54
  right there. We can.
• 12:57
  My hot narcissist ex love going to my family's house for
• 12:59
  Christmas because they spoil him with my parents.
• 13:01
  Yeah. They can go and do that to
• 13:02
  y'all. He can go.
• 13:03
  He can go a few different ways. It's not always set in stone how
• 13:06
  they're going to ask, you know, covert, but hot, you know,
• 13:10
  choose your battles. Absolutely, right.
• 13:12
  You have to choose and pick your everything.
• 13:14
  Not worth going to war over, y'all.
• 13:16
  Everything is not worth going to war over, right?
• 13:20
  It's just not pick and choose your battles.
• 13:22
  Yeah, you absolutely have to. That's very important.
• 13:24
  Right there to pick your battle. Is this worth going to war for?
• 13:29
  Maybe. You see what I'm saying?
• 13:31
  That's what covert. Not.
• 13:33
  Oh, covert. Not hot.
• 13:34
  Oh, OK. OK.
• 13:35
  Oh my God. Oh boy.
• 13:39
  I can't believe I missed the beginning of this.
• 13:40
  When I get off, it's going to repost.
• 13:42
  It'll repost. It'll be right on the channel.
• 13:43
  It'll be right on the channel, y'all.
• 13:44
  So I'm about to hop off anyway. I need, I got to get out here
• 13:48
  and today's Sunday I got some stuff I got to do.
• 13:50
  Join my support group. Today's our Sunday Zoom meeting.
• 13:53
  Join my support group at mentalillness.net or courses dot
• 13:56
  mental illness dot dot net for our private Zoom support group.
• 14:00
  There's a lot of people in here right now that says there's a
• 14:02
  hundred and some people from all my platforms and my support
• 14:05
  group is like 5 to 15 to 20. Everybody gets their questions
• 14:08
  answered in the support group. Everybody can message me.
• 14:10
  Probably everybody can e-mail me probably in the support group as
• 14:12
  well. So you can find it at
• 14:14
  mentalillness.net and whatnot. Y'all I do have to hop off this
• 14:18
  thing. Y'all be safe, hit that
• 14:21
  subscribe button. Oh, my podcast is launching soon
• 14:24
  too. I recorded 4 episodes of my
• 14:25
  podcast. Y'all, the mental illness
• 14:27
  podcast is about to launch. I'm so excited.
• 14:30
  Y'all seriously got some more episodes I'm recording this
• 14:34
  week. Be safe, hit the subscribe
• 14:36
  button. Y'all see the hair?
• 14:37
  Yeah, the hair is gone, the dreads are gone.
• 14:39
  Y'all be safe, hit the subscribe button and we will chat later.
• 14:42
  Peace.