Latest / Impact Ready / 207. The One About Time: Living with Urgency, Presence, and Impact

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207. The One About Time: Living with Urgency, Presence, and Impact · Impact Ready

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Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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make life truly meaningful. Get ready for Impact.
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Hello, hello, welcome to the Impact Ready podcast.
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I'm so glad you're here today. In this episode, we are going to
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talk about something that truthfully, I've been avoiding
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for a really long time as a topic.
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It's just a tough one for me and I haven't really been sure how I
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want to talk about this and all that to say that's a very
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dramatic lead up, but we are going to be talking about the
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idea of time. Time is what this episode is all
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about. Now, I have a lot of different
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thoughts about the idea, and I know that there are different
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discussions about the concept of time, whether it's Newtonian
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time or Einstein time. And you factor in quantum
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physics into this and you get all kinds of offshoots of where
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this conversation could go. But for the purpose of this
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episode, today I'm just talking about linear time, what humans
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experience and perceive on this Earth.
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The reason I haven't specifically talked about this
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topic of time on this podcast is because every time I get in
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depth about it, it makes me choke up.
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It does. It makes me choke up to think
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about the idea of time passing and the impermanence of all of
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it. The same is true for my wife.
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We have an ongoing joke in our house.
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Anytime we're talking about the length of of time that we've
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been together, how long our relationship has been, the kids
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growing up, people growing old. She always says I can't talk
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about time right now. As her eyes well up with tears,
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she also gets very emotional. But the reason I'm bringing it
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up now is because I do think that it's one of the most
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important things to have on the forefront of our minds as we
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think about the type of impact we want to have and why it's so
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damn important to be in a place where we feel in charge of our
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lives and we truly feel ready to impact the world in a positive
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way. It's so important.
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The American Time Survey is responsible for these graphs,
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and it depicts how you spend time in different areas of your
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life. For example, the time spent with
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family peaks in your childhood but declines sharply after the
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age of 20. The time spent with your
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children peaks in the early years of their life and declines
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sharply after. This is something my wife always
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tears up about. Time spent with friends.
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Same situation in our youth. In our early adulthood we spend
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a lot of time with friends, and then as we get into later
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adulthood we spend a little bit of time with a few close
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friends. Time spent with our partner
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actually increases as we age, as well as time spent alone.
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And then our time spent with coworkers is pretty high
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throughout our working years, from age 20 to 60 ish.
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And then it declines sharply after.
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And when we look at these things, it's a very powerful
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visual depiction. Sometimes it can feel a little
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depressing, especially if you get emotional about these kinds
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of things like we do. We can all understand these
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charts because we're living them.
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We've experienced them in real time and I think it's a great
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reminder of where we are spending our time.
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I also think now if these surveys were to be done again,
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in our current culture of technology and screens, it would
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be even more dramatic, even more drastic as to how much time we
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get to spend with people and doing the things we love,
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etcetera. But this episode is not just
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about feeling a harsh reality of time.
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It's also about how to have a reverence for it, a respect for
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the idea that time will pass and we can use that as a gentle
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reminder to show up the best we can every day of our lives.
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This really aligns with how can we best be ready to impact in a
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powerful way. Well, we have to respect and
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honor the passing of time and that we have a finite amount of
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time to do the work that we do, to create the relationships that
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we want to cultivate and to spend time with our loved ones
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and doing the stuff that fills us up.
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For as long as I can remember, I've been aware and thoughtful
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about the passing of time. I don't know if that's an
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everybody thing, but it's certainly a me thing, and it's
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because of some of the things that I've experienced in my
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life. When I was seven years old, my
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dad passed away from acute myelogenous leukemia.
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It was 1989, and they didn't have the treatments that they do
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today to be able to save people from AML.
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I don't have a lot of memories of my dad, but I do remember
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being at the hospital in Seattle.
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I would play babysitter to the kids of the other families who
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were there who also had kids or family members who were getting
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treatment at the same place. And at 7:00, I didn't understand
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time really at all. But after my dad passed away, I
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did have the awareness that not everybody got to grow up.
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Not everybody became an old person.
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And even my underdeveloped childhood brain could conceive
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of the fact that life can be short for some people.
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And I was very aware of that. I remember thinking about that
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as a young kid and I think unconsciously that instilled a
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sense of urgency in me. I always wanted to make the most
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of my life. I remember thinking, I don't
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want to have any regrets. I need to live the fullest life
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that I can. I want to achieve as much as I
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can. This was my young brain thinking
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this, and this is both a good thing and a bad thing for me.
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It means that I often have to fight myself when I think about
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time, and the fight is between my urgency and my knee jerk
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reaction to want to grasp onto things so I don't lose them.
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And also the realization that time is just a natural part of
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living and that I can release the fear and be as present as
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possible in my life. Those two parts of me, the yin
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and the Yang, are sort of always in battle, and it's something
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that I work on managing a lot. But certainly over the years,
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I've learned that it's our presence that is the true gift
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to people and that is the true gift for us.
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And I think it is our presence that makes life feel really full
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and joyful. Now, if I'm being really
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transparent with you, this is something that I struggle with,
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finding the proper balance between investing time in the
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building of my dreams and investing time with my people.
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I'm always wrestling with the balance of working and family
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time, time with friends, time being present in social
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situations. That's most certainly one of the
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negative repercussions of the urgency that I've kind of always
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felt in my life. But as we get older and wiser,
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we of course become more aware of these things.
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And almost all of us have reminders that really shake us
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awake, that say time is finite and life is impermanent and wake
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up to that. Now, I'm not here to talk about
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how to achieve the perfect balance.
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I'm not here to talk about strategy of how to time block
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your day or or manage your time or get the most out of your
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living. I think that's a very personal
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individual experience in life. I think you are the one who has
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to determine that. And while I don't have all the
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answers as to how to live a balanced life or what that even
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means, I do have a few logical reminders that I think about
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often to help me appreciate the passing of time and honor what
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matters most to me in my life. And I want to share them with
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you here. The first thing is to put down
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the phone. I know that we use our phones
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for so many functional reasons and that at this point, it has
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become a bit of a necessity in how we operate in the world.
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I completely get that. But for so many people, they're
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spending hours, endless amounts of time on their phone when it
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really isn't bringing them anything.
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They're spending time on it for no reason, and they're missing
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what's right in front of them. I know I've talked about this
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before, but there's no excuse for a couple to be sitting at
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dinner with both people staring at their phones instead of
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talking to each other. There's no excuse to be sitting
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on the couch on your phone when your kid is trying to talk to
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you or your spouse. We have to recognize that the
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apps and the platforms and the operating systems are not built
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to benefit us. They're built to benefit the
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creators of those things, the businesses behind them.
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And that screen time does not honor the passing of time.
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It steals it. And this is something I have to
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check myself on all the damn time.
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But I'm very aware of it, and I think it's so important to
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remind ourselves about often. The second thing is to put the
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effort into your relationships. If you haven't heard from a
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friend in a long time, call them.
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If you haven't talked to your parents in a while, put out the
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effort and reach out to them. Now, this is assuming that
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you're on good terms with these people, with the people in your
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life. I get the nuance of
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relationships. That's not what I'm talking
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about. It's for the people who are
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important in your life. Put the effort into building
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those relationships and nurturing them.
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It's become all too easy to just kind of let things slide, to
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cruise in your life and not really invest much time in
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connecting with people. Just send them a text here or
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there, maybe a funny meme on a social platform, and that's good
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enough. It's not good enough.
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You have to put in the effort for the people you love.
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Tell them for the people who are important to you, get together
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with them. Have a coffee date or a BBQ or a
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dinner at your house. There is nothing that replaces
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or measures up to the power of human connection.
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We are wired for it. This is how our time is best
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spent, this is how our hearts are filled up, and it's how we
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feel less alone in the world. The third thing is to take the
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risk and bet on yourself. I know how hard it is to weigh
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out the options of a big decision and fully go all in on
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your dream, whatever that might be.
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It's scary to do that. We have a lot of considerations
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that we have to weigh what's going to be best for us, what's
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best for our family, what other people might think of us, our
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own beliefs about our identity, the list goes on and on.
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But if we're thinking about honoring and having reverence
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for the passing of time, we have to act.
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We hold back on making these types of decisions because of
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the fear that we feel about letting others down or failing
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in what we do, but we have to. It's so important.
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There's something that always gives me courage.
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And again, here I go with the mortality argument.
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If we consider that in 100 years, people are not going to
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know who we are, We are going to be dead and gone and a couple of
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generations down the line are not going to know our name.
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And I know that might sound morbid, but I don't think about
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that way. I think about it in terms of it
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makes me remember that this period of time and this life is
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fleeting. Why would I let the thoughts or
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perceptions from other people hold me back?
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Why would I be in so much self doubt or so much fear that I
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don't do the thing that really calls to me or excites me?
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It's not going to matter in the long, long run.
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And assuming that whatever you're deciding on is not
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catastrophic, it's just something you want to do, why
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would you not entertain it? You know, I recently left my
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clinical practice in acupuncture after 16 years.
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It took me a really long time, a couple of years at least, to
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give myself permission to make that kind of change in my life.
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I was walking the tightrope of 1 foot in and 1 foot out for a
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really long time. I was like, I had this safety
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net that I kept for myself because I was afraid to go all
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in. Now, in reality, it was probably
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a combination of the right timing, the right personal
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growth that I had to go through, and just getting a little bit
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sick of myself. But after last year going
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through breast cancer treatment, I just couldn't wait any longer.
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I felt the urgency to bet on myself and go all in on a dream
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of impacting people in a bigger way.
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And it's scary as hell. It's admittedly a little
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bittersweet to have left my clinical practice, but I knew it
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was going to be. I know that sometimes it's
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really hard to leave something that's good, but it's not the
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dream. And while it's scary, it also
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feels so right. And at the point that I was, it
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seemed like I didn't really have any other choice.
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I had to do this thing. The awareness of time and the
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impermanence of it all was so blatantly in front of my face
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that I had to make the move. Let me pause here for a second.
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If you're listening and thinking I'm capable of more or this is
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the level I want to operate at, this is for you.
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I work privately with a small number of high performing
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leaders who are ready to elevate how they show up in their
14:08
business and in their lives. This isn't motivational
14:11
coaching, it's precision work. We refine your energy,
14:15
strengthen your ownership, and eliminate inconsistency so your
14:19
impact becomes undeniable. If you're ready for that level
14:22
of growth, book a private call through the link in the show
14:25
notes. We'll see if it's a fit.
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All right, back to the episode. The last thing is something that
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my wife and I try to live by. Celebrate everything.
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And I know that sounds kind of over the top, but to us, it's a
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necessity in our lives. Celebrate everything, the big
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stuff, the small stuff, all the little important dates within
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your family or within your marriage.
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Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. Why?
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I mean, I just think, why not? Why would you not invest a
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little time and energy in celebrating your existence here?
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See, this is where I get choked up a little bit.
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My wife and I have spent two full years, one for each of us
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individually, in the protocols of breast cancer treatment.
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In a handful of years following in the recovery from those
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treatments, we've learned over and over again that there's
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nothing too small to celebrate, because being here is a
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privilege. Being alive at this time,
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despite all the hardship or the struggles in the world and the
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politics, I get that. Despite all of that, we are so
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lucky to be on this earth in relationship, in connection with
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all of these people that we love.
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We have the chance to impact people in such a profound way,
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just through the little things that we do, the little wins, the
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little celebrations, all the little times where we support
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people in ways that we don't think are a big deal, but mean
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the world to them. What an honor to be a part of
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all that. And why wouldn't we celebrate?
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It doesn't have to be a big deal, Even if it's just a slow
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dance in the kitchen or a candle that you blow out on top of a
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homemade muffin that your kid made.
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I don't know. But celebrate and celebrate
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often. Again, this isn't meant to be a
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downer episode, and it's certainly not meant to instill
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fear in you, but hopefully it can bring some awareness.
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Awareness of times. Impermanence so that it can
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spark action for you. As it always does for me.
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I use this conversation to direct my attention to things
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that really matter to me and delegate, automate, or delete
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the things that do not. It's really about reclaiming
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your control over your calendar and where you spend your time
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and who you spend your time with.
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And it's all for the purpose of living a fulfilled, joyful, and
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very impactful life. Because when we powerfully
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direct our energy in the right places, the right places for us,
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we can't help but have massive ripple effects in the world.
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So I thank you for being here and listening to this
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conversation. About time.
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I hope it brings some clarity to you and then it sparks some new
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attention. Thank you for being a part of
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this community. And as always, thank you for
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being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
17:33
Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.