Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / The Weaker Sex with Dave Franco
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
- 0:01Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In September, I will be in Santa Barbara,
- 0:04Speaker 1: San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut.
- 0:08Speaker 1: October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,
- 0:16Speaker 1: and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco.
- 0:19Speaker 1: I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies.
- 0:23Speaker 1: I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing
- 0:26Speaker 1: out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your
- 0:29Speaker 1: tickets at ChelseaHandler.com for the High and Mighty Tour. Hello, Catherine.
- 0:35Speaker 2: Hi, Chelsea. Well, what time of day is it where
- 0:38Speaker 2: you are?
- 0:39Speaker 1: It's around 6 o'clock.
- 0:40Speaker 3: 5.30.
- 0:41Speaker 1: 5.30. Yeah, we're going to go in and swim. We
- 0:44Speaker 1: went for a little walk. It was a rainy day today,
- 0:46Speaker 1: so that was very nice. We all sat around and
- 0:49Speaker 1: we made sangria, which was really cute. Actually, they taught
- 0:54Speaker 1: us how to make sangria at the Spanish school I
- 0:56Speaker 1: went to in Madrid one day. I thought they said,
- 0:59Speaker 1: come meet for sangria after class. So I went and
- 1:02Speaker 1: it was how to make sangria. And I was like,
- 1:03Speaker 1: fuck this. I was like, I don't want to fucking
- 1:06Speaker 1: make sangria. I'm like, I am useless in the kitchen.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Just want to drink this sangria.
- 1:11Speaker 1: Today we were like, we were about to go for
- 1:13Speaker 1: a bike ride. There's like five of us here now.
- 1:15Speaker 1: And we're about to go for a bike ride. And
- 1:17Speaker 1: then it started pouring. And I was like, okay. Anyway,
- 1:21Speaker 1: so I think we should make some sangria. And then
- 1:24Speaker 1: I looked up a recipe. I'm like, it should take
- 1:25Speaker 1: you guys about five minutes.
- 1:31Speaker 2: Once you have the stuff, that's absolutely true. Now, are
- 1:32Speaker 2: you doing a white sangria or a red sangria?
- 1:35Speaker 4: Red, red. I'm done with white sangria.
- 1:37Speaker 1: But we also use Sprite Zero, so that saved us.
- 1:41Speaker 1: Because it's just too– you're supposed to add brown sugar. Like,
- 1:45Speaker 1: that's gross.
- 1:45Speaker 4: Brown sugar?
- 1:47Speaker 5: No.
- 1:47Speaker 1: Brown sugar or sugar to it. And then you're also
- 1:50Speaker 1: putting orange juice into it. Okay, sure. And since, you know,
- 1:53Speaker 1: I have an aversion to that level of sugar for
- 1:56Speaker 1: my vanity.
- 1:56Speaker 2: Purposes– But you put some fruit in, I would imagine.
- 2:01Speaker 1: You have to, right? Yeah, we put some fruit in
- 2:03Speaker 1: and we put some orange juice in, but then we
- 2:05Speaker 1: use diet Sprite. So that's like getting the fizz without
- 2:07Speaker 1: the calories. So that's good. Because you know how good
- 2:10Speaker 1: diet soda is for everyone.
- 2:12Speaker 4: Of course.
- 2:13Speaker 1: So I'm on a real health kick. But we've biked
- 2:16Speaker 1: every day. We've swam every day. It's really warm.
- 2:19Speaker 3: Nice.
- 2:19Speaker 1: So the water's really warm, which is really nice at night.
- 2:23Speaker 1: And I've had a lot of people coming and going.
- 2:25Speaker 1: And just, you know, the magic of Mallorca changing lives.
- 2:28Speaker 1: Everyone's life is changing. Since the eclipse, everything's been different.
- 2:33Speaker 1: Positivity is on the horizon. Yes.
- 2:35Speaker 2: Well, our guest today was super positive, actually. What a
- 2:38Speaker 2: ray of sunshine.
- 2:39Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. He's a real cutie. We've had a lot
- 2:42Speaker 1: of fun straight guys on, or maybe just two.
- 2:46Speaker 2: Well, it's because we only allow fun straight guys.
- 2:48Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 2:48Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 2:49Speaker 6: Right.
- 2:49Speaker 4: Exactly.
- 2:50Speaker 1: I liked our interview with Adam Scott. That was really cute.
- 2:54Speaker 1: And this guy's another cutie patootie, fresh and fruity.
- 2:58Speaker 2: Also with great hair. Great hair.
- 3:01Speaker 1: And a little Tom Cruise adjacent, if you will.
- 3:03Speaker 5: Sure.
- 3:04Speaker 1: Adjacent. In Tom Cruise's heyday.
- 3:07Speaker 5: Sure.
- 3:07Speaker 1: He's been in the studio, the Now You See Me
- 3:11Speaker 1: franchise together. And he has a new movie, which is
- 3:15Speaker 1: called Idiots, which is in theaters tomorrow.
- 3:18Speaker 5: Oh.
- 3:18Speaker 1: So please welcome Dave Franco. Make yourself cozy. Come a
- 3:23Speaker 1: little closer, though, so that you're close to the mic
- 3:25Speaker 1: and we can hear everything that you have to say.
- 3:27Speaker 5: Good here?
- 3:28Speaker 4: Too close?
- 3:28Speaker 1: All your wisdom that you're going to impart to us.
- 3:30Speaker 4: I got you.
- 3:31Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Dave Franco is here today. We're so
- 3:33Speaker 1: excited to have you. I have to ask you, before
- 3:35Speaker 1: we even start talking about your newest movie, what is
- 3:38Speaker 1: it like being married to a woman that is physically
- 3:41Speaker 1: stronger than you?
- 3:43Speaker 4: It's excellent. It's intimidating.
- 3:45Speaker 1: I'm really into working out.
- 3:47Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 3:47Speaker 1: And I think she might be the only woman I
- 3:49Speaker 1: know of, white woman, I should say, because, I mean,
- 3:53Speaker 1: I can't compete with black women's strength. They're always stronger
- 3:55Speaker 1: than me.
- 3:56Speaker 5: They're not.
- 3:57Speaker 1: But she is a strong mofo.
- 3:59Speaker 4: She knows what she's doing, too.
- 4:01Speaker 3: She walks into a gym and she's like, I'm going
- 4:04Speaker 3: to kind of claim my territory. And she goes straight
- 4:06Speaker 3: to the pull-up bar.
- 4:07Speaker 1: She invented the pull-up.
- 4:08Speaker 4: And rips out like 10 of them.
- 4:10Speaker 1: It's like she invented the pull-up.
- 4:11Speaker 6: I know.
- 4:12Speaker 5: I know.
- 4:12Speaker 1: So I'm glad. Do you feel physically safe around her?
- 4:15Speaker 3: You know, I think for a while I was like, oh,
- 4:19Speaker 3: this is this is a thing that I'm figuring out
- 4:23Speaker 3: how to feel about it.
- 4:24Speaker 4: And after a while, it's like she's a badass. She
- 4:27Speaker 4: likes to stay in shape. What's not to like?
- 4:29Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. And you guys have a really I
- 4:32Speaker 1: love your vibe. I love global. You know, I support
- 4:34Speaker 1: like I love marriages that don't have children.
- 4:37Speaker 4: Okay.
- 4:37Speaker 1: I think that that is a huge bonus.
- 4:39Speaker 4: Okay.
- 4:39Speaker 1: And I think that that has the potential to keep
- 4:41Speaker 1: a couple together long beyond a lot of couples who
- 4:45Speaker 1: have children. Not all couples, but a lot.
- 4:47Speaker 5: Sure.
- 4:48Speaker 4: I mean, it's interesting. So we are the couple with
- 4:51Speaker 4: two cats.
- 4:52Speaker 3: Very much the cat family, and I didn't realize how
- 4:55Speaker 3: weird that was until I was the single guy with
- 4:58Speaker 3: two 18-pound cats, and that came up in every interview
- 5:02Speaker 3: I ever did.
- 5:02Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
- 5:03Speaker 4: I didn't realize 36.
- 5:04Speaker 3: Cumulative pounds of cat was not normal for a single guy,
- 5:07Speaker 3: and it actually kind of weeded out the dating pool
- 5:10Speaker 3: for me.
- 5:11Speaker 7: Definitely.
- 5:11Speaker 4: Not a lot of girls were into that.
- 5:12Speaker 1: Definitely.
- 5:13Speaker 4: So Allison was like, I like that, and I was like,
- 5:15Speaker 4: you're my only option. Let's go. But no, we... We
- 5:19Speaker 4: don't have kids. But like the crazy thing is we
- 5:21Speaker 4: love kids. Like we have nephews.
- 5:23Speaker 1: I love kids too.
- 5:24Speaker 6: Totally.
- 5:24Speaker 1: I have eight nieces and nephews.
- 5:26Speaker 5: Exactly.
- 5:26Speaker 1: Kind of presume about me because I bang on a
- 5:29Speaker 1: little bit about my child free choice. But people presume
- 5:32Speaker 1: if you don't have children, you don't like children. It's like, no,
- 5:35Speaker 1: I don't want my own children. I think that would be,
- 5:38Speaker 1: I would be a very bad influence on them.
- 5:40Speaker 4: Right, right. But like, yeah, we both have nephews that
- 5:43Speaker 4: we adore.
- 5:44Speaker 3: I was just at one of their baseball games last
- 5:46Speaker 3: night and I was like, it was my first game
- 5:48Speaker 3: all season.
- 5:49Speaker 4: And immediately I was like, I will bleed for this team.
- 5:52Speaker 3: I will do anything to protect this team. But for
- 5:56Speaker 3: whatever reason, it's just not for us.
- 5:58Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, I love that. I love hearing more
- 6:01Speaker 1: and more couples doing that. Now, how did you two meet,
- 6:04Speaker 1: you and Allison?
- 6:05Speaker 4: I can tell the whole story.
- 6:07Speaker 1: Tell whatever story you want to tell.
- 6:08Speaker 4: We met at Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
- 6:11Speaker 1: Solid.
- 6:11Speaker 4: We are the only couple to survive from that. Solid.
- 6:15Speaker 4: And basically, I'll give you the somewhat condensed version.
- 6:18Speaker 3: Basically, I was working there and I had the week
- 6:21Speaker 3: off leading up to Mardi Gras and I was like,
- 6:23Speaker 3: I've already experienced New Orleans. I need to go home
- 6:26Speaker 3: and just rest. And so I came back to L.A.
- 6:29Speaker 3: and a couple of days after being home, my buddy
- 6:31Speaker 3: calls me. He's like, hey, is it still cool if
- 6:34Speaker 3: I stay with you for Mardi Gras? And I was like, oh, man,
- 6:36Speaker 3: I told him like months earlier we would have this
- 6:39Speaker 3: crazy Mardi Gras blowout.
- 6:41Speaker 4: I was like, you know what? I'll meet you back there.
- 6:43Speaker 4: Let's do it.
- 6:44Speaker 3: So I'm at the airport in L.A. and I run
- 6:47Speaker 3: into my friend Jules and she's with Allison. And so
- 6:50Speaker 3: Jules is like, you should come to dinner with us tonight.
- 6:52Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I'd like to, but my
- 6:54Speaker 3: friend got us parade tickets. But I don't know, maybe
- 6:56Speaker 3: we'll meet up with you later in the weekend. So anyway,
- 6:59Speaker 3: we land in New Orleans. It's pouring rain. All the
- 7:02Speaker 3: parades are canceled. And I was like, all right, I
- 7:04Speaker 3: guess we'll go to dinner with Jules and Allison. So
- 7:07Speaker 3: get to dinner. I'm an hour late. They're all fucked up.
- 7:11Speaker 3: I'm catching up. At one point, I'm sitting next to Jules.
- 7:14Speaker 3: Allison's across the table. They're texting each other. Jules shows
- 7:17Speaker 3: me their text conversation, and she says... You should make
- 7:20Speaker 3: out with Davey tonight. And Allison says, sure. And so
- 7:23Speaker 3: Jules tells me, she's like, don't tell her I showed
- 7:26Speaker 3: you this.
- 7:26Speaker 1: I love that this is all going on and no
- 7:28Speaker 1: one notices at a dinner table that she's texting her
- 7:31Speaker 1: friend about you and you're showing each other phones.
- 7:34Speaker 3: There was like eight people at the table. Yes, yes, yes.
- 7:38Speaker 4: So she's like, don't tell her I showed you this.
- 7:39Speaker 4: I was like, cool, cool.
- 7:41Speaker 3: Little do I know, 10 minutes later, they're in the
- 7:42Speaker 3: bathroom together and Jules is telling Allison, okay, I showed
- 7:45Speaker 3: him the text, he's in. So she manipulated this whole situation.
- 7:49Speaker 3: But the great thing about it was we both knew
- 7:51Speaker 3: that we were in. The next bar we go to,
- 7:53Speaker 3: she brings me a beer and she says, this has
- 7:56Speaker 3: some Molly in it. I think we should share it.
- 8:00Speaker 3: And at that point, honestly, I don't know if I
- 8:02Speaker 3: had ever done Molly before. And without hesitation, I said, absolutely,
- 8:06Speaker 3: let's share this beer. And the rest of the night,
- 8:09Speaker 3: there's still photos that we have in our living room
- 8:11Speaker 3: of us just like face locked for.
- 8:13Speaker 4: The whole night.
- 8:14Speaker 3: Uh, so we had this incredible weekend in new Orleans. And, um,
- 8:19Speaker 3: then the movie took me to New York and Paris
- 8:21Speaker 3: and I had her meet me in those places.
- 8:23Speaker 1: Oh, I love that story. That's a great story. That's
- 8:26Speaker 1: how someone would capture my heart. I'd be like, okay,
- 8:29Speaker 1: maybe I will consider marriage at this point. Um, Okay,
- 8:33Speaker 1: so I watched your movie Idiots.
- 8:34Speaker 6: Oh, you did?
- 8:35Speaker 1: Yes, of course.
- 8:36Speaker 4: Okay.
- 8:36Speaker 1: And I watched it last night. Well, first of all,
- 8:40Speaker 1: my favorite, it opens in a way that is just
- 8:42Speaker 1: so winning. Because you're at a desk job, not being
- 8:46Speaker 1: professional at all around people who are looking at you.
- 8:49Speaker 1: And I think you pour, is it whiskey or bourbon
- 8:51Speaker 1: or whatever?
- 8:51Speaker 4: It doesn't matter. It's just something that I shouldn't be
- 8:53Speaker 4: pouring at work.
- 8:54Speaker 1: It really doesn't matter. Into your whatever, coffee or tea
- 8:58Speaker 1: or whatever you're drinking at work and with the absolute
- 9:02Speaker 1: right to do it.
- 9:02Speaker 6: Sure.
- 9:03Speaker 1: Your attitude was like, this is my job and I
- 9:05Speaker 1: need to drink to survive it.
- 9:06Speaker 4: I'm vaping. I'm drinking. It doesn't matter.
- 9:08Speaker 3: I'm watching these degenerates fight each other and on the
- 9:14Speaker 3: computer screen, it's all good.
- 9:15Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 9:16Speaker 1: So not taking your job seriously, 100% respect for that.
- 9:19Speaker 1: I like that already. And then you obviously promptly get fired.
- 9:23Speaker 1: And you have to reroute. And then you're... I don't
- 9:26Speaker 1: want to give away anything about the movie that I'm
- 9:28Speaker 1: not supposed to. But then you have to find work.
- 9:31Speaker 6: Yes.
- 9:31Speaker 1: You and your kind of degenerate roommate have to find work.
- 9:36Speaker 3: Actually, it's a guy I don't know. We're kind of
- 9:38Speaker 3: paired up. We're a classic odd couple. He's a little
- 9:41Speaker 3: more buttoned up. He's a man of Christ. I'm the
- 9:45Speaker 3: guy that you have described. And we have to pair up.
- 9:48Speaker 4: And we have to..
- 9:50Speaker 3: Drive a rich teenager to rehab. And what we don't
- 9:55Speaker 3: realize is this teenager is a full-on psychopath and he's
- 9:58Speaker 3: going to make our life hell every step of the way.
- 10:00Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a scene, and this is also in
- 10:02Speaker 1: the beginning of the movie with you guys trying to
- 10:05Speaker 1: secure his person, running around on the lawn trying to...
- 10:11Speaker 1: which is really ridiculous and really fun and a really
- 10:14Speaker 1: fun journey. I can only imagine how much fun you
- 10:16Speaker 1: had filming this movie.
- 10:17Speaker 4: It was great.
- 10:18Speaker 3: It was so much fun just because it is just
- 10:21Speaker 3: a balls out comedy where we're taking big swings.
- 10:24Speaker 4: We're doing the stupidest shit we can ever think of.
- 10:27Speaker 3: And I don't think a lot of comedies just go
- 10:29Speaker 3: full comedy these days. And so there's that. And then
- 10:34Speaker 3: I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who I know
- 10:35Speaker 3: and love. Like, I've worked with O'Shea Jackson Jr.
- 10:38Speaker 4: Before.
- 10:38Speaker 3: I had just worked with Mason Thames before, the director,
- 10:41Speaker 3: Macon Blair. I've known him for 10 years on and off.
- 10:44Speaker 3: And so when you're in a situation where you're just
- 10:47Speaker 3: surrounded by people that you feel comfortable with, you're doing
- 10:49Speaker 3: your best work because you're just like, I'm going to
- 10:51Speaker 3: try anything. No one's judging me. I'm going to try
- 10:53Speaker 3: the weirdest shit that comes to mind. And that's when
- 10:56Speaker 3: the best stuff comes.
- 10:57Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 10:57Speaker 1: And I think you're right about comedies going hard. Like
- 10:59Speaker 1: it's really refreshing when you get to watch something where
- 11:02Speaker 1: they clearly don't give a shit and they're like going
- 11:04Speaker 1: for it because sometimes And I don't know if this
- 11:07Speaker 1: is intentional or not, because I'm not in the movie
- 11:09Speaker 1: business in that way, but they present as comedies and
- 11:12Speaker 1: they're quite soft. And it's nice. And it's feel good.
- 11:16Speaker 4: And there's an audience for that.
- 11:17Speaker 1: Yes, of course. But it's not like ruckus, crazy, kind
- 11:21Speaker 1: of like out of control. Like, in certain scenes in
- 11:25Speaker 1: this movie, it looks like you guys really, like, lost
- 11:28Speaker 1: the plot.
- 11:29Speaker 4: For sure.
- 11:29Speaker 1: And are just filming, and it's just going haywire, and
- 11:32Speaker 1: it made the movie.
- 11:33Speaker 3: Oh, I'm glad that there's that feeling when you're watching it.
- 11:35Speaker 3: I mean, there was a moment in this movie, without
- 11:37Speaker 3: giving anything away, because it's a nice moment, where body
- 11:42Speaker 3: fluids are involved, and I just remember... texting my wife
- 11:45Speaker 3: and I, and I saying like, I just did the
- 11:47Speaker 3: craziest thing I've ever done on camera, which is saying
- 11:49Speaker 3: a lot because I've done some really fucked up shit
- 11:51Speaker 3: on camera.
- 11:52Speaker 1: You're pretty brave on camera.
- 11:53Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 11:54Speaker 3: And I don't know what that is because in my
- 11:55Speaker 3: real life I'm pretty even keeled and low key. And
- 11:59Speaker 3: then when you turn the camera on, I'm just like,
- 12:01Speaker 3: there's no parameters and I'm just going to fucking push
- 12:04Speaker 3: the boundaries as far as I can go.
- 12:05Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 12:06Speaker 1: Well you guys, you and Alison have that in common.
- 12:08Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 12:08Speaker 1: You both go for it.
- 12:09Speaker 5: Right.
- 12:09Speaker 1: Definitely. Now, on a separate note, what is your skincare routine?
- 12:12Speaker 1: Because you are looking very luminous.
- 12:15Speaker 4: Oh, that's very kind. You know what?
- 12:17Speaker 1: Don't you agree, Kyler?
- 12:18Speaker 6: I agree.
- 12:18Speaker 1: His skin is lighting up.
- 12:20Speaker 3: My skincare routine is Allison's skincare routine. I literally took
- 12:25Speaker 3: all of her products. I started going to her facialist, Biba. Uh,
- 12:30Speaker 3: everyone check out Biba. Uh, and that's that.
- 12:34Speaker 1: Just Biba. Go outside, yell it.
- 12:35Speaker 4: You'll find it. You'll find it.
- 12:37Speaker 6: You'll find me, mom. Yeah.
- 12:38Speaker 1: Well, I would, of course you, you're, you're from three boys, right?
- 12:41Speaker 1: You have your, what number are you out of your three?
- 12:43Speaker 4: Number three. They're five and seven years older.
- 12:45Speaker 1: Okay. And James is in the business and your other brother,
- 12:48Speaker 1: is he in the business too?
- 12:49Speaker 4: Kind of, kind of. He's a, he's an artist in
- 12:51Speaker 4: his own right.
- 12:51Speaker 3: He mainly does painting and sculpture, but his wife is
- 12:56Speaker 3: a producer in film. And so he's kind of like
- 12:58Speaker 3: been a, just a utility player on her sets now.
- 13:01Speaker 3: And sometimes all of a sudden they'll let, we'll get
- 13:03Speaker 3: a text from them Where it's a photo of– they
- 13:05Speaker 3: threw him in a scene with Demi Moore.
- 13:07Speaker 4: And so, like, he'll pop up now.
- 13:10Speaker 1: And are you– do you have youngest child syndrome? Like,
- 13:12Speaker 1: are you the baby? In the sense that– have you
- 13:16Speaker 1: ever read, like, there's a book called The Birth Order
- 13:20Speaker 1: and there's a book called The Sibling Effect?
- 13:22Speaker 4: I have not read either.
- 13:23Speaker 6: Okay.
- 13:23Speaker 1: They're both about threes.
- 13:24Speaker 5: Okay.
- 13:24Speaker 4: Tell me about it.
- 13:25Speaker 1: Because I'm from six. So I have three boys, my
- 13:28Speaker 1: mom had three boys, and then she had three girls
- 13:30Speaker 1: in that order. Oh, wow.
- 13:31Speaker 5: Okay.
- 13:31Speaker 1: And so this book basically purports that the oldest child
- 13:35Speaker 1: takes on oldest child responsibility, kind of type A organization.
- 13:41Speaker 1: The middle child, if the oldest child doesn't fill that role-
- 13:45Speaker 1: the second child will go in to fill that role.
- 13:48Speaker 1: If the oldest is a fuck-up or a mess, then
- 13:51Speaker 1: the second one goes. But the youngest is always kind
- 13:54Speaker 1: of the baby, the loudest, the biggest personality.
- 13:59Speaker 4: I don't think I fall into a lot of that,
- 14:01Speaker 4: to be honest.
- 14:01Speaker 3: Really?
- 14:02Speaker 4: Definitely the baby. I'll always be the baby. But I think..
- 14:06Speaker 3: Because the age difference was significant enough, like, I was
- 14:10Speaker 3: kind of on my own in a way.
- 14:12Speaker 4: And also, I was a mistake. And so by the time—
- 14:16Speaker 4: We were all mistakes. All the youngest kids are mistakes.
- 14:19Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom said it was the best mistake she
- 14:21Speaker 3: ever made. But, like, by the time I came around,
- 14:23Speaker 3: my parents were tired. And so they didn't need— they, like,
- 14:26Speaker 3: just didn't have the energy to— discipline me or whatever.
- 14:30Speaker 3: And so I almost didn't feel the need to rebel.
- 14:33Speaker 3: Like no one was pushing against me. And so I
- 14:35Speaker 3: was a pretty good kid, but like no matter how
- 14:39Speaker 3: old we get, I'll always be the baby brother.
- 14:42Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 14:42Speaker 1: Yeah. You can't change that. And it's kind of a
- 14:45Speaker 1: sweet spot to be in, in my opinion, as a
- 14:47Speaker 1: family member, because you grow up with the benefits of
- 14:49Speaker 1: your like older siblings kind of wanting to like look
- 14:52Speaker 1: after you. And so you kind of almost have to,
- 14:55Speaker 1: Like if your siblings are old enough, older enough, or
- 14:59Speaker 1: what am I trying to say? Older than you. By far,
- 15:02Speaker 1: like my siblings were so much older than me that
- 15:04Speaker 1: I got like two sets of parents.
- 15:06Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
- 15:06Speaker 1: Because my parents were also asleep at the wheel and
- 15:09Speaker 1: they had already raised five children. They're like, good luck
- 15:11Speaker 1: with everything.
- 15:11Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 15:12Speaker 1: And then, so how did you get into acting? Is
- 15:15Speaker 1: that like a family thing or did you do that
- 15:16Speaker 1: on your own?
- 15:17Speaker 3: So growing up, I, like you were saying, the youngest
- 15:21Speaker 3: is sometimes the loudest. I was actually the opposite. I
- 15:23Speaker 3: was debilitatingly shy. where I just didn't even really speak
- 15:28Speaker 3: until junior year of high school. And so I had
- 15:31Speaker 3: no intention of performing in any way, but I loved movies.
- 15:35Speaker 3: I know that's like a very obvious, basic thing to say,
- 15:38Speaker 3: but like my first job ever, I was 14 years old.
- 15:41Speaker 3: I was working at a mom and pop video store
- 15:43Speaker 3: and it was actually illegal for me to be working
- 15:45Speaker 3: there at that age. So they paid me by allowing
- 15:48Speaker 3: me to take home as many movies as I wanted.
- 15:50Speaker 3: And so that's how I just started watching everything. And
- 15:53Speaker 3: it happened to be the year 1999. which is now
- 15:55Speaker 3: regarded as one of the best movie years of all time.
- 15:58Speaker 3: It's just like a laundry list of iconic films like
- 16:02Speaker 3: The Matrix, Blair Witch Project, American Pie, American Beauty, Fight Club,
- 16:07Speaker 3: Being John Malkovich. So all these movies that really formed
- 16:12Speaker 3: me and helped me really just lock in this love
- 16:14Speaker 3: for movies.
- 16:15Speaker 4: So when I eventually.
- 16:17Speaker 3: Came down to LA to go to school, I kind
- 16:19Speaker 3: of got forced into an acting class by my brother's manager.
- 16:23Speaker 5: And..
- 16:25Speaker 3: Even though I hated it at first, I remember sitting
- 16:27Speaker 3: there the first day and I was just auditing the
- 16:29Speaker 3: class and the first people up, they start screaming and
- 16:33Speaker 3: crying and hitting each other.
- 16:34Speaker 4: And I was like, fuck this.
- 16:36Speaker 3: But I stuck it out because I was like, okay,
- 16:39Speaker 3: I think this is just a way into the movie business.
- 16:42Speaker 3: And also, I don't know if I had this foresight yet,
- 16:45Speaker 3: but I just was like, this could bring me out
- 16:46Speaker 3: of my shell a little bit. And so I didn't
- 16:50Speaker 3: love it for a long time just because I was
- 16:52Speaker 3: so nervous every time I was performing because But after
- 16:54Speaker 3: a while, I just kind of like let go and
- 16:57Speaker 3: started to have fun with it.
- 16:58Speaker 4: And at this point, like, I love it. I can't
- 17:00Speaker 4: imagine doing anything else.
- 17:01Speaker 1: Do you want to mention the acting class or no?
- 17:03Speaker 4: Oh, Playhouse West.
- 17:05Speaker 1: Oh, Playhouse West on Lancashire. I think I've heard of that.
- 17:08Speaker 1: I do also like I found acting classes quite embarrassing.
- 17:12Speaker 1: Because I came out here and I was like, what
- 17:14Speaker 1: am I doing? I didn't know what I was going
- 17:16Speaker 1: to do. I kind of fell into comedy after a
- 17:19Speaker 1: couple of years when I realized I could just write
- 17:21Speaker 1: my own material instead of reading others. But I definitely
- 17:24Speaker 1: went to acting classes, kind of like the ones you're describing,
- 17:27Speaker 1: where you see people get up and do their scene
- 17:29Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my God, that is intense.
- 17:32Speaker 4: It's tough. It's very vulnerable.
- 17:35Speaker 3: And I do encourage people to do it, especially when
- 17:38Speaker 3: they're starting, because it's a place where you can fall
- 17:40Speaker 3: on your face and you can try things as opposed
- 17:43Speaker 3: to falling on your face in auditions or on set.
- 17:46Speaker 3: It's like you can practice your stuff. And also I
- 17:49Speaker 3: think it helps build confidence because like when you're first starting, especially,
- 17:53Speaker 3: but always like you can go on 50 auditions and
- 17:56Speaker 3: not get a role. And it doesn't necessarily mean you're
- 18:00Speaker 3: doing a bad job. It's just how things work. And
- 18:03Speaker 3: so after 50 auditions, you're like, I suck. But you
- 18:06Speaker 3: go to class and you build your confidence back up.
- 18:08Speaker 3: You're like, no, no, no, I'm doing something right.
- 18:11Speaker 1: Oh, that's cool. What was the best? Can you think
- 18:13Speaker 1: of some really like the best acting advice you got
- 18:16Speaker 1: or career advice? Yeah.
- 18:18Speaker 4: Okay.
- 18:19Speaker 3: So I was just talking about how like I was
- 18:21Speaker 3: so nervous and then eventually I realized like I need
- 18:23Speaker 3: to have fun with this. This is like a pretentious
- 18:28Speaker 3: story because it's a very privileged story, but Basically, when
- 18:33Speaker 3: I got to that place where I really wasn't having
- 18:35Speaker 3: fun anymore and I was at kind of this tipping
- 18:38Speaker 3: point of like, am I going to keep doing this?
- 18:40Speaker 3: I was talking to my brother and telling him about it.
- 18:43Speaker 3: And he said, you should talk to Catherine Keener. Do
- 18:46Speaker 3: you guys know who Catherine Keener is? So she's an icon.
- 18:49Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm not going to fucking burden
- 18:52Speaker 3: Catherine Keener with my problems. And he had just worked
- 18:55Speaker 3: with her and he was like, she's the sweetest person.
- 18:58Speaker 3: Trust me. Here's her email.
- 18:59Speaker 4: Reach out. So I write this email to.
- 19:03Speaker 3: Catherine Keener just kind of laying out like where I'm
- 19:05Speaker 3: at mentally, how I'm not having a good time.
- 19:08Speaker 1: And you just intro'd like, hey, I'm James's brother. He
- 19:11Speaker 1: gave me your email.
- 19:12Speaker 3: And I've just been so stressed and whatever. And not
- 19:15Speaker 3: only does she write back, but I just remember she
- 19:18Speaker 3: writing back this like really touching letter. And essentially what
- 19:22Speaker 3: she was saying was, if you're not having fun with
- 19:25Speaker 3: it why are you doing it and and like it
- 19:28Speaker 3: stayed with me to the point where it was like
- 19:30Speaker 3: it just allowed me to let go and be like
- 19:32Speaker 3: I gotta change my mindset about this I gotta stop
- 19:35Speaker 3: beating myself up so much and just let loose and
- 19:39Speaker 3: do what I'm doing now which is just throwing it
- 19:42Speaker 3: all against the wall and seeing what happens and having
- 19:44Speaker 3: a good time with it Cause when you're having a
- 19:45Speaker 3: good time, when you're acting, it shows on screen.
- 19:48Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 19:48Speaker 1: I think that attitude is applicable to everything, you know,
- 19:51Speaker 1: like when, and sometimes it feels empty when someone says
- 19:55Speaker 1: have fun, just have fun because there's so many nerves
- 19:58Speaker 1: involved with performing and being on camera or like live
- 20:02Speaker 1: performance or whatever. kind of, you know, a performance you're doing.
- 20:06Speaker 1: And when, sometimes when people say, go, just go out
- 20:08Speaker 1: there and have a good time, you're like, have a
- 20:10Speaker 1: good time. And meanwhile, I'm a comedian. So it's like,
- 20:13Speaker 1: I have to be having a good time, but, but
- 20:16Speaker 1: it takes a long time to understand that that really
- 20:18Speaker 1: is the ticket.
- 20:19Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 20:24Speaker 1: So you recently met the Pope.
- 20:25Speaker 4: Oh my God.
- 20:26Speaker 1: What, what, what happened there? How did you set that up?
- 20:29Speaker 4: That's a good question.
- 20:30Speaker 3: So, Okay, my publicist reached out to me one day
- 20:34Speaker 3: and she basically said, she was forwarding me this letter
- 20:38Speaker 3: and she's like, I don't know if this is real,
- 20:40Speaker 3: but let me know if you want me to look
- 20:41Speaker 3: into it. And it was an invite to meet the
- 20:45Speaker 3: Pope at the Vatican. And I was like, yeah, definitely
- 20:49Speaker 3: look into that.
- 20:51Speaker 4: And so she did. And she was like, okay.
- 20:55Speaker 3: There's not a lot of details I can get, but
- 20:58Speaker 3: it sounds real. They wouldn't tell me who else is coming.
- 21:02Speaker 3: And so my next question was, why me? Why are
- 21:05Speaker 3: they inviting me and my wife?
- 21:07Speaker 1: That's also my next question. No offense.
- 21:11Speaker 4: No, absolutely.
- 21:11Speaker 1: How did they choose these people?
- 21:13Speaker 3: And so we, at that time, we were promoting this
- 21:16Speaker 3: movie that we had just put out, this movie called Together,
- 21:18Speaker 3: which is this crazy horror movie where our bodies fuse together.
- 21:23Speaker 4: And we were like... Does the Pope love body horror?
- 21:27Speaker 3: Like, there's this moment in the movie where, like, spoiler, but, like,
- 21:31Speaker 3: my penis gets stuck inside of her and just, like,
- 21:33Speaker 3: picturing the Pope watching this scene. So, anyway, we were like, okay,
- 21:39Speaker 3: I mean, we're in. Like, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
- 21:42Speaker 4: We're going. So, we show up. We're in Rome.
- 21:47Speaker 1: And are you religious at all?
- 21:49Speaker 4: I'm not. I'm, like, I'm kind of spiritual, but not really.
- 21:52Speaker 1: Good answer.
- 21:53Speaker 3: So... So we find out that the one person we
- 21:57Speaker 3: also find out is going to be there is Adam Scott,
- 21:59Speaker 3: who we know. And so we just start talking with Adam.
- 22:02Speaker 3: We're like, okay, we don't know what we're going into,
- 22:04Speaker 3: but let's do this all together. So they kind of
- 22:06Speaker 3: just drop us off one morning at this one end
- 22:11Speaker 3: of the Vatican City. And there's like a congregation of
- 22:15Speaker 3: like 100 people. And most of them are Italian. There's
- 22:18Speaker 3: some other actors and directors that we recognize there. But
- 22:22Speaker 3: they usher us through Vatican City and we get into
- 22:25Speaker 3: this big, like long hallway inside the Vatican, beautiful hallway.
- 22:29Speaker 3: And we're just waiting in this hallway for like two
- 22:30Speaker 3: hours to go in and meet the Pope. In the meantime,
- 22:33Speaker 3: we're talking with Adam, talking with other people. This worker
- 22:36Speaker 3: at the Vatican comes up to Adam who's leaning against
- 22:38Speaker 3: the wall. And the worker's like, um, sir, that's one
- 22:42Speaker 3: of Raphael's frescoes.
- 22:43Speaker 4: You're leaning against. He's like, I'm so sorry.
- 22:46Speaker 3: So anyway, we're sweating our asses off. We finally go
- 22:49Speaker 3: into this beautiful room. We're all seated.
- 22:52Speaker 4: Pope comes out.
- 22:54Speaker 3: He gives this like genuinely beautiful 20 minute speech just
- 22:57Speaker 3: about film and the importance of film, which I found
- 23:01Speaker 3: out after the fact was very important because I guess
- 23:05Speaker 3: pretty recently in Italy, they were talking about getting rid
- 23:08Speaker 3: of all movie theaters. And so to have the Pope
- 23:11Speaker 3: coming out and speaking about the importance of cinema, it
- 23:13Speaker 3: was like a huge, huge deal. So.
- 23:16Speaker 1: Wow.
- 23:17Speaker 2: I love this new Chicago Pope.
- 23:18Speaker 4: He's with us.
- 23:19Speaker 1: This guy is amazing.
- 23:20Speaker 3: I know.
- 23:20Speaker 5: I know.
- 23:21Speaker 1: I love how he inserts himself into all of these
- 23:23Speaker 1: global issues because that's what we've been waiting for. Or
- 23:26Speaker 1: at least I have been. Like I don't want the
- 23:28Speaker 1: Pope to be just only focused on religion.
- 23:30Speaker 3: Sure.
- 23:30Speaker 1: I want him to be focused on like the world
- 23:32Speaker 1: and the ways.
- 23:33Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 23:33Speaker 3: And it was like a genuine speech that wasn't like,
- 23:36Speaker 3: it didn't feel like it was just written for him
- 23:38Speaker 3: and he was just reading the words. Like it came
- 23:39Speaker 3: from the heart. So anyway, he does the speech and
- 23:42Speaker 3: then we all line up and we each get like,
- 23:45Speaker 3: you know, 10 seconds to just shake his hand and
- 23:48Speaker 3: have a moment with the Pope.
- 23:49Speaker 4: And so we knew that was coming.
- 23:51Speaker 3: And so leading up to this day, we were like, what.
- 23:53Speaker 4: Do you, what do you say to the Pope?
- 23:56Speaker 3: And so we ended up like Googling facts about the
- 24:00Speaker 3: Pope to see if like we could find any common ground.
- 24:03Speaker 3: And I actually found a good way in. He's the
- 24:06Speaker 3: youngest of three brothers. And I was like, okay, there
- 24:08Speaker 3: we go. So my wife goes and she's in front
- 24:12Speaker 3: of me. And we see as he's shaking everyone's hand
- 24:15Speaker 3: and talking to them, you know, he's very pleasant, but
- 24:19Speaker 3: like a pretty straight face. And so my wife goes
- 24:22Speaker 3: first and she basically says like, you know, thank you
- 24:25Speaker 3: for having us.
- 24:25Speaker 4: It was a beautiful speech.
- 24:27Speaker 3: And then she moves on. And then I come up
- 24:29Speaker 3: and I say, I'm also the youngest.
- 24:33Speaker 4: Of three brothers.
- 24:34Speaker 3: And I just wanted to, um, Thank you for giving
- 24:38Speaker 3: younger brothers a good name everywhere. And Allison looks back
- 24:43Speaker 3: and he's smiling and she's like, what the fuck? And
- 24:46Speaker 3: we have this beautiful moment of I'm shaking his hand.
- 24:50Speaker 3: I got the Pope to smile and it.
- 24:51Speaker 4: Was really nice.
- 24:52Speaker 1: That is a feat. That's exciting. Meeting the Pope is exciting.
- 24:57Speaker 4: It's pretty cool.
- 24:58Speaker 2: One of his brothers has a LinkedIn. Like it's so weird.
- 25:01Speaker 6: Is that true?
- 25:01Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 25:02Speaker 2: He's just like a normal guy from Chicago.
- 25:04Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 25:05Speaker 1: You guys grew up in California, yeah?
- 25:07Speaker 5: Yes.
- 25:07Speaker 4: Northern California, Palo Alto.
- 25:09Speaker 1: Oh, Northern California. What do you think is like the
- 25:11Speaker 1: biggest misconception about people who grew up in California?
- 25:15Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
- 25:16Speaker 3: I mean, first off, like a lot of people think
- 25:19Speaker 3: Northern California and Southern California are the same thing.
- 25:21Speaker 4: And it's really a different vibe. You tell me. I'm
- 25:23Speaker 4: curious why you bring that up.
- 25:24Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I think you're right. I think it's
- 25:26Speaker 1: different because there's a lot of people... I moved out
- 25:28Speaker 1: here when I was 19 years old, so I didn't
- 25:31Speaker 1: meet anyone that was homegrown until I was here for
- 25:34Speaker 1: 10 years because everyone I met were transplants.
- 25:37Speaker 3: Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
- 25:37Speaker 1: But then when you start to meet people that have
- 25:40Speaker 1: grown up in Beverly Hills or in these nice areas, Brentwood,
- 25:44Speaker 1: Bel Air, and you're like, oh, they've never left because
- 25:47Speaker 1: why would they?
- 25:48Speaker 5: Sure.
- 25:49Speaker 1: I'm from New Jersey, so I had to get out
- 25:50Speaker 1: of there.
- 25:51Speaker 3: Yes.
- 25:52Speaker 4: I mean..
- 25:53Speaker 3: It makes me think of our nephews who have grown
- 25:57Speaker 3: up here and who see their aunts and uncle on TV,
- 26:02Speaker 3: and that's a normal thing. And then they come to
- 26:04Speaker 3: these big premieres, and that's a normal thing, where, like, they–
- 26:08Speaker 3: trust me they have a great time at these premieres
- 26:10Speaker 3: but i almost want to just like be like this
- 26:12Speaker 3: is really cool right and they're like it's all right.
- 26:14Speaker 1: It's like yeah it's fine but and then you wonder
- 26:16Speaker 1: how like people's kids get into show business it's like
- 26:19Speaker 1: of course they're gonna get into show business totally their
- 26:21Speaker 1: whole family business this is and it.
- 26:23Speaker 3: Feels accessible it feels real it's tangible it's right there
- 26:26Speaker 3: in front of them but like you know allison grew
- 26:28Speaker 3: up in south pasadena and it's like God, it's just
- 26:33Speaker 3: removed enough from proper LA that she did have a
- 26:37Speaker 3: seemingly quote-unquote normal upbringing just living in the suburbs.
- 26:41Speaker 1: I think that's true about Pasadena. Pasadena is separate from
- 26:46Speaker 1: LA and Hollywood. I didn't realize you grew up in
- 26:48Speaker 1: Northern California, so that makes sense. And that's also a
- 26:50Speaker 1: better place to grow up because that is more... It's
- 26:53Speaker 1: just more normal.
- 26:54Speaker 3: And it's just so pretty. But it's changing a lot.
- 26:58Speaker 3: Palo Alto, the Palo Alto I grew up in was...
- 27:00Speaker 3: felt small, very mom and pop vibes. And now it's
- 27:03Speaker 3: all tech, like the whole Bay area. It's, it feels
- 27:06Speaker 3: like a one industry area, just like LA feels like
- 27:10Speaker 3: mostly entertainment. That said, like when I go up, I
- 27:14Speaker 3: go up a few times a year. I can kind
- 27:16Speaker 3: of put my blinders on and ignore all the new
- 27:19Speaker 3: shit popping up and just kind of stick to my
- 27:20Speaker 3: old places I used to go to. And my friends
- 27:23Speaker 3: who I've known since I was five years old, they
- 27:24Speaker 3: still live up there. And so I can kind of
- 27:26Speaker 3: hold on a little bit to the old Palo Alto.
- 27:28Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 27:28Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 27:29Speaker 1: Talk to me about the studio. So you play a
- 27:31Speaker 1: real piece of work on the studio. You play just
- 27:34Speaker 1: like this coked up lunatic.
- 27:36Speaker 3: Yeah, which is crazy because I'm literally playing myself. I'm
- 27:40Speaker 3: playing Dave Franco on the studio. But yeah, I'm playing
- 27:45Speaker 3: myself while on alcohol, weed, cocaine, and mushrooms simultaneously.
- 27:51Speaker 1: That must be so much fun.
- 27:53Speaker 4: It was so fun and..
- 27:56Speaker 3: Especially because I'm surrounded by people who I've known for
- 28:01Speaker 3: 20 years. I met Seth on Superbad. And so when, again,
- 28:05Speaker 3: when you're surrounded by these people you know and love,
- 28:08Speaker 3: you can just be free. And so I'll tell them,
- 28:11Speaker 3: I'm like, guys, I'm going to go nuts. Reign me
- 28:15Speaker 3: in if this is too much. And more often than not,
- 28:17Speaker 3: they're like, go further, get weirder. And so like, yeah,
- 28:20Speaker 3: when I'm doing these scenes where I'm on this cocktail
- 28:23Speaker 3: of drugs, there's almost... no wrong answer to what I
- 28:27Speaker 3: can do. It's like, I can go as big as
- 28:30Speaker 3: I want. And when that's the case, it's just like,
- 28:32Speaker 3: I'm just having the time of my life.
- 28:34Speaker 1: Yeah. Are you an actor who like prepares for that stuff?
- 28:37Speaker 1: Or like, I mean, obviously you're preparing to work.
- 28:40Speaker 4: Am I getting method in doing all those drugs?
- 28:42Speaker 1: You're clearly not method. I can already answer that question
- 28:45Speaker 1: for anybody who's watching or listening and wondering. But do
- 28:48Speaker 1: you just kind of like get prepared? And then I
- 28:51Speaker 1: feel like what you're saying is you prepare for your roles,
- 28:54Speaker 1: but then you just go for it.
- 28:55Speaker 4: Definitely. Definitely.
- 28:56Speaker 3: I am a nerd and I'll do my homework and
- 28:58Speaker 3: I really want to know my lines and come in
- 29:00Speaker 3: with ideas. But when I am on one of these
- 29:03Speaker 3: sets where I feel safe, I really try to let
- 29:05Speaker 3: go and just throw it all away and just kind
- 29:07Speaker 3: of be there. But, uh, I don't know, like, um,
- 29:11Speaker 3: just thinking about that show, um, again, like I've known
- 29:16Speaker 3: Ike Barinholtz forever.
- 29:17Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 29:18Speaker 3: And what I've been trying to do for the last
- 29:22Speaker 3: 10 years now is, is just continue to work with
- 29:27Speaker 3: my friends and family. And I've found ways on, you know,
- 29:31Speaker 3: a lot of the time on a smaller scale, whether
- 29:33Speaker 3: it's with a movie like Idiots, which is an indie movie,
- 29:36Speaker 3: or that movie Together I made with my wife. These
- 29:38Speaker 3: are small movies. But we have more control and we
- 29:41Speaker 3: are producers on these films. And so we actually can
- 29:44Speaker 3: bring in the people we love. And so I'm having
- 29:47Speaker 3: just the time of my life. And if I can
- 29:48Speaker 3: keep going forward doing exactly what I'm doing, that's that
- 29:52Speaker 3: would be the dream.
- 29:53Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem like such a nice... I don't want
- 29:56Speaker 1: to put any pressure on you, but I know white
- 29:58Speaker 1: men are under attack right now. I know because I'm
- 30:00Speaker 1: one of the people attacking them. But there is a
- 30:03Speaker 1: very toxic masculinity going around, and you are the antidote.
- 30:07Speaker 1: You are just... Is that something that you think about
- 30:11Speaker 1: as a white guy? How does that impact you? Because
- 30:14Speaker 1: I know that so many guys in our industry are
- 30:17Speaker 1: not like that. I do know that, and... I just
- 30:20Speaker 1: wonder how it impacts you as a man that isn't
- 30:23Speaker 1: like that to feel kind of all of the conversations
- 30:27Speaker 1: going around about toxic masculinity and like, you know, all
- 30:31Speaker 1: of that stuff.
- 30:33Speaker 3: Honestly, I think the simple answer is I kind of
- 30:36Speaker 3: just keep my head down and just like, I, I, I,
- 30:40Speaker 3: I'm like, it's weird to say this, but like, I
- 30:42Speaker 3: am a nice person and like Alison and I, we
- 30:45Speaker 3: feel like, so lucky to not only have each other,
- 30:49Speaker 3: but just like have a good community around us to
- 30:52Speaker 3: be working the way we are. And literally every day,
- 30:56Speaker 3: like I wake up and I, again, I'm not religious,
- 30:59Speaker 3: but I'm spiritual. And every, every night and morning I
- 31:03Speaker 3: like think about, how lucky we are and how we
- 31:06Speaker 3: just want to like go out and spread joy.
- 31:08Speaker 4: Truly.
- 31:08Speaker 3: It's a cheesy thing to say, but I'm just like,
- 31:10Speaker 3: I want to like put out good energy. I want
- 31:12Speaker 3: to build up the people around me because like, I
- 31:15Speaker 3: know how lucky I am and let's just spread that.
- 31:17Speaker 1: Yeah. I got home from a set. I did. Speaking
- 31:19Speaker 1: of the Pasadena, I did two sets at the ice
- 31:21Speaker 1: house last night with, My friend Sarah Silverman, we went
- 31:23Speaker 1: out there and we had this really fun night and
- 31:25Speaker 1: Karen came and I was just like, it was such
- 31:28Speaker 1: a lovely night. And I came home and I was like,
- 31:30Speaker 1: I got down on my knees. I don't pray, but
- 31:32Speaker 1: I got down on my knees, but I always, I
- 31:34Speaker 1: do the same thing. I get down on my knees.
- 31:36Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you for allowing me to spread joy.
- 31:39Speaker 1: Thank you for making it a joyful evening and like
- 31:42Speaker 1: really taking it in because it is, I think, especially
- 31:47Speaker 1: in times like this, so important to acknowledge that A,
- 31:49Speaker 1: how you are conducting yourself and B, about putting it
- 31:53Speaker 1: out and not just taking it in.
- 31:55Speaker 4: Definitely. Definitely.
- 31:56Speaker 3: And even just when it comes to work too, like
- 31:58Speaker 3: I've been on the other side of the camera now.
- 32:00Speaker 3: I've directed a couple of films. I've been writing and
- 32:01Speaker 3: producing more. And so I've seen every side of this,
- 32:07Speaker 3: which has made me enjoy acting that much more. Uh, and,
- 32:12Speaker 3: and just look at it in a different way where like, I,
- 32:15Speaker 3: I've always been, again, I've always been the person who's prepared.
- 32:17Speaker 3: I'm punctual and all that, but now I go above
- 32:21Speaker 3: and beyond to never be the problem on set. I
- 32:24Speaker 3: know how much the director is dealing with and I'm
- 32:26Speaker 3: just like, I will never be your issue. And on
- 32:29Speaker 3: the contrary, I will try to make your life as
- 32:31Speaker 3: easy as possible. And so again, that's just like trying
- 32:34Speaker 3: to spread that joy on set too.
- 32:35Speaker 1: Yeah. So did you, I read that you wore a
- 32:38Speaker 1: rock in your shoe while filming The Idiot.
- 32:40Speaker 4: That's true.
- 32:41Speaker 1: What's that about?
- 32:42Speaker 3: I mean, early on in the film, I twist my
- 32:45Speaker 3: ankle really badly. And so moving forward, I was like,
- 32:50Speaker 3: I don't want to be in a scene where I'm
- 32:52Speaker 3: forgetting to limp. Because I have to limp for 90%
- 32:55Speaker 3: of this movie. And so by putting a rock in there,
- 32:58Speaker 3: I don't even need to think about it. It just
- 32:59Speaker 3: makes you walk with a limp. That said, like, again,
- 33:03Speaker 3: I'm a psychopath. And I was like, all right, it
- 33:05Speaker 3: can't just be like a little limp. And so I
- 33:06Speaker 3: was getting these like chunky, kind of sharp rocks that
- 33:10Speaker 3: I was throwing in there. But it helped, and I
- 33:13Speaker 3: didn't have to think about that so I could focus
- 33:14Speaker 3: on everything else in the scene.
- 33:15Speaker 1: I like it.
- 33:16Speaker 4: I like it.
- 33:16Speaker 2: Were you fine afterward, or did you kind of mess
- 33:19Speaker 2: up your element?
- 33:19Speaker 3: I did have a little thing after. A little bit
- 33:22Speaker 3: of like, oh, what's wrong with my foot? Oh, yeah,
- 33:24Speaker 3: I was fucking walking around with a rock in it
- 33:26Speaker 3: for two months. But I do this to myself. Again,
- 33:29Speaker 3: I throw myself into these projects so much where I
- 33:33Speaker 3: think back to a long time ago. I did this
- 33:36Speaker 3: movie where I play a heroin addict.
- 33:38Speaker 4: And I lost, it's.
- 33:40Speaker 3: Called six balloons. Uh, no one's seen it, but it's
- 33:42Speaker 3: a good movie. Uh, and I'm glad I did it. But, um,
- 33:45Speaker 3: it was one of those things where I was young enough.
- 33:46Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I want to do this thing
- 33:48Speaker 3: that no one's going to see just for the art.
- 33:50Speaker 3: And so I lost like 20 pounds in a month
- 33:52Speaker 3: or so, which I'm, I'm not a big guy as is.
- 33:55Speaker 3: And so I was miserable and I was like me
- 33:59Speaker 3: just running on a treadmill all day, every day, just
- 34:00Speaker 3: trying to lose the weight, eating lettuce with no dressing. Uh, anyway,
- 34:05Speaker 3: the reason I bring this up is like after that
- 34:07Speaker 3: movie ended, because I was running so much and I
- 34:10Speaker 3: was running just like off, like I was landing just
- 34:14Speaker 3: off with one foot.
- 34:15Speaker 4: I couldn't walk for like three months after that.
- 34:18Speaker 3: It was just like, not only did this movie take
- 34:19Speaker 3: me down because I wasn't fucking eating and my wife
- 34:21Speaker 3: hated me, but then for three months I couldn't walk.
- 34:24Speaker 1: What is it like to film a movie like that?
- 34:26Speaker 1: You put that much effort into physically and emotionally. And then,
- 34:31Speaker 1: as you said, not many people saw it.
- 34:33Speaker 4: You know what's interesting?
- 34:34Speaker 3: It's taken time, but a lot of the times when
- 34:37Speaker 3: directors reach out to me about a project, they'll reference
- 34:41Speaker 3: that movie. And I think it maybe shows a different
- 34:43Speaker 3: side than people have seen before, but it does come
- 34:46Speaker 3: up these days. That said, even if it didn't, I
- 34:49Speaker 3: don't know. I still get something out of it. I've
- 34:53Speaker 3: gotten pretty good at not having expectations for my projects
- 34:57Speaker 3: to perform because... That's just never going to end well.
- 35:02Speaker 1: Well, being attached to the outcome is never going.
- 35:05Speaker 4: To– Yes, and you're always going to be disappointed.
- 35:07Speaker 3: And so I've gotten pretty good at being like, okay,
- 35:10Speaker 3: I truly have no expectations. If this is one of
- 35:13Speaker 3: the few projects that does do well, it's a nice surprise.
- 35:17Speaker 3: But like– Again, I'm just, like, trying to have a
- 35:20Speaker 3: good time while I'm doing this. Like, if a movie's
- 35:23Speaker 3: taking me away from my wife and my cats for
- 35:25Speaker 3: three months, it better be worth it. It better be
- 35:27Speaker 3: a good time, and it better be with people I like.
- 35:29Speaker 1: Are your cats still both weighing in at 18 pounds?
- 35:32Speaker 4: So those cats passed.
- 35:34Speaker 1: That's my favorite body type for an animal, corpulent.
- 35:37Speaker 6: Oh, yes.
- 35:38Speaker 2: I like a lot around cats.
- 35:40Speaker 1: I don't want skinny animals. It's like, I'm not interested.
- 35:43Speaker 3: I know.
- 35:43Speaker 4: I know.
- 35:43Speaker 1: Especially cats.
- 35:45Speaker 3: I know. Those were our old cats. They lived a long,
- 35:47Speaker 3: great life. So we have two new cats who are
- 35:50Speaker 3: much smaller, which at first I was.
- 35:52Speaker 4: Like, feed them.
- 35:53Speaker 1: Let's get them up there.
- 35:55Speaker 3: But now our little girl, she just, they're about six now.
- 35:59Speaker 3: She just is a little pygmy. She just never, she
- 36:02Speaker 3: just stopped growing really early on. She's just this little thing,
- 36:05Speaker 3: but now she's getting a little chunky in a good way.
- 36:08Speaker 3: She's so small, but a little chunky.
- 36:09Speaker 1: What are your cat's names?
- 36:11Speaker 4: Little girl is Max. Little boy is Otis.
- 36:12Speaker 3: Okay.
- 36:13Speaker 1: I just want you to know how I would never,
- 36:15Speaker 1: ever ask anyone what their cat's names were unless they
- 36:18Speaker 1: were speaking about them in the way that you are.
- 36:21Speaker 4: That's very kind.
- 36:21Speaker 1: Actually, we had someone else who had a cat on.
- 36:23Speaker 2: It was Gaten Matarazzo.
- 36:25Speaker 1: Oh, Gaten Matarazzo. He's a cat lover too.
- 36:27Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 36:27Speaker 1: He's a cat lover.
- 36:28Speaker 5: Right.
- 36:28Speaker 4: Clearly, you're a dog lover.
- 36:30Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 36:30Speaker 1: I'm a dog lover. Yeah. But I'm not an animal lunatic.
- 36:33Speaker 6: Sure.
- 36:33Speaker 1: I'm not one of these crazy people.
- 36:34Speaker 4: It doesn't mean you're not. you hate the other animals
- 36:36Speaker 4: if you're a dog lover?
- 36:37Speaker 1: I'm not that interested in your animals. I'm more interested
- 36:40Speaker 1: in my own.
- 36:41Speaker 4: That's okay.
- 36:41Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 36:41Speaker 1: I'm not going to the dog park trying to make
- 36:43Speaker 1: friends there. You know what I mean?
- 36:45Speaker 4: I get, I appreciate you asking my cat's name.
- 36:46Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Um, we're going to, so we, we, the
- 36:50Speaker 1: second half of this, we take callers and we give
- 36:52Speaker 1: live advice. Um, but before we do that, do you
- 36:55Speaker 1: tint and curl your eyelashes? I mean, did you have
- 36:58Speaker 1: your eyelashes tinted and lifted?
- 37:00Speaker 4: I've literally never touched my eyelashes.
- 37:02Speaker 1: Okay, your whole eyebrow and eyelash situation should be an
- 37:07Speaker 1: after picture. I'm serious, because I get mine tinted and lifted,
- 37:11Speaker 1: and they don't.
- 37:12Speaker 4: Look nearly as good as his. What are the lashes doing?
- 37:14Speaker 4: Because no one's ever commented on them.
- 37:16Speaker 1: And they're framing your eyes in a really nice way.
- 37:19Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, you should be a face model. You
- 37:21Speaker 1: should be like, not a face model.
- 37:23Speaker 2: A face model, just your face.
- 37:24Speaker 1: You should be an eyelash, like somebody who has one
- 37:26Speaker 1: of those.
- 37:26Speaker 4: Yeah, the body's just okay.
- 37:28Speaker 1: Yeah, just from the face up.
- 37:29Speaker 2: They don't have to do anything.
- 37:30Speaker 1: They just take the after picture. Yeah, but whatever you're doing,
- 37:32Speaker 1: it's working. That's very good. So great. Good for you.
- 37:34Speaker 3: All right.
- 37:35Speaker 7: Well, our first question is just a quickie. Sam says,
- 37:39Speaker 7: Dear Chelsea, I absolutely love my wife. Since I'm like
- 37:42Speaker 7: Chelsea and I'm not welcome in the kitchen, she does
- 37:44Speaker 7: most of the cooking. She has a small appetite, so
- 37:46Speaker 7: she makes tiny dinners. The truth is I've been going
- 37:49Speaker 7: to bed hungry every night, even losing weight when I'm
- 37:52Speaker 7: not trying to lose. When I try to talk to
- 37:54Speaker 7: her about making a larger meal, she beats herself up.
- 37:57Speaker 7: So I've been pre-gaming after work by getting fast food
- 38:00Speaker 7: on the way home. It was going fine until I
- 38:02Speaker 7: ran into my in-laws one day and they told on me.
- 38:05Speaker 2: My wife was so mad. What should I do?
- 38:07Speaker 6: Sam.
- 38:07Speaker 1: He ran into his in-laws at the end.
- 38:09Speaker 2: First of all, this is your wife.
- 38:11Speaker 1: Be honest. Like who gives a shit? This is funny
- 38:16Speaker 1: because I'm on tour and when I go on the road,
- 38:18Speaker 1: I have like a little crew with me. One of
- 38:20Speaker 1: my assistants comes and we're all just kind of like,
- 38:22Speaker 1: you know, before you perform, you don't want to like
- 38:24Speaker 1: have a huge meal. So we always have a light dinner.
- 38:27Speaker 1: Plus everybody's on triseptide. So everybody's appetite is gone anyway.
- 38:33Speaker 1: And he's always like, He's always disappointed. And then at night,
- 38:37Speaker 1: he's like always ordering room service. He's like, I'm still hungry.
- 38:40Speaker 1: We don't eat at all at dinner. And I'm like,
- 38:42Speaker 1: you're allowed to eat. I'm not telling you can't eat.
- 38:44Speaker 1: I just don't want that much food.
- 38:46Speaker 4: I'm with you.
- 38:47Speaker 3: It's like he's already told her like, oh, I'm a
- 38:50Speaker 3: little hungry after these meals. So he's already been honest
- 38:53Speaker 3: about that. Then why do you deceive her by getting
- 38:55Speaker 3: fast food before coming home?
- 38:56Speaker 1: You're in a marriage. You're allowed to go.
- 38:58Speaker 3: Have some good snacks at home. Honestly, I do this
- 39:02Speaker 3: all the time. I'm a terrible cook. I love my wife.
- 39:05Speaker 4: I adore her.
- 39:06Speaker 3: She's literally keeping us alive by cooking for us. But
- 39:10Speaker 3: like I eat more than her. And truly half the
- 39:14Speaker 3: time I will snack after dinner.
- 39:16Speaker 4: And she never bats an eyelash. She's like, yeah, get
- 39:19Speaker 4: more food in you.
- 39:20Speaker 7: I think this gal is sensitive. Maybe you could say like, hey,
- 39:23Speaker 7: I know you're cooking for two. Maybe you could make
- 39:26Speaker 7: an extra two portions so I have lunch tomorrow and
- 39:28Speaker 7: then you actually just eat like.
- 39:29Speaker 6: A little extra.
- 39:30Speaker 1: Extra.
- 39:30Speaker 4: Still being deceptive. Exactly.
- 39:32Speaker 1: Deceptive is the word. You're a man. You require more food.
- 39:37Speaker 4: Just by your body composition.
- 39:38Speaker 1: Like it's okay to tell your wife. I like the
- 39:41Speaker 1: seriousness of this question, but also you need to just
- 39:45Speaker 1: tell your wife the truth. And that's a good conversation.
- 39:47Speaker 1: That's a good way to handle a minor conflict with
- 39:51Speaker 1: honesty and integrity so that when you do have real problems,
- 39:54Speaker 1: because this isn't fucking one of them, then you can
- 39:58Speaker 1: practice having those kinds of conversations.
- 40:00Speaker 3: This is a question from someone who is very naive
- 40:03Speaker 3: when it comes to cooking. So this is a very
- 40:05Speaker 3: dumb question, but Does it take that much more effort
- 40:08Speaker 3: to make one extra portion?
- 40:11Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. Well, you're not asking the
- 40:14Speaker 2: right person here either.
- 40:15Speaker 4: No, it's just you're adding a little extra. Yeah, yeah.
- 40:18Speaker 1: So, yeah.
- 40:19Speaker 4: There are a few extra ingredients.
- 40:20Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 40:21Speaker 7: All right.
- 40:22Speaker 1: But honesty. Let's just be honest.
- 40:24Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 40:25Speaker 1: We're married now.
- 40:30Speaker 6: All right.
- 40:31Speaker 2: Well, our next question is pretty juicy.
- 40:33Speaker 7: So Alex is 28 and he says, Dear Chelsea, around Thanksgiving,
- 40:37Speaker 7: I oversaw my dad using.
- 40:38Speaker 2: His phone on a gay hookup site.
- 40:41Speaker 7: He's been married to my mom for over 30 years,
- 40:43Speaker 7: so I would never expect any infidelity or openness in
- 40:46Speaker 7: the marriage. I'm gay, not really out to my parents,
- 40:48Speaker 7: but I think they definitely know. I recently wrote him
- 40:51Speaker 7: a letter saying what I saw. I was afraid of
- 40:53Speaker 7: denial and anger. However, he texted me afterward saying he's
- 40:57Speaker 7: not gay, but quote, has a friend who wants him
- 40:59Speaker 7: to be and that my mom knows about the friend.
- 41:02Speaker 7: We haven't discussed everything yet, but he's willing to talk
- 41:04Speaker 7: through this. I don't want personal details, but I want
- 41:07Speaker 7: to make sure my mom isn't being blindsided.
- 41:09Speaker 4: Alex.
- 41:09Speaker 2: Hi.
- 41:10Speaker 1: This is our special guest. Dave Franco's here today.
- 41:13Speaker 5: Hi.
- 41:14Speaker 3: Amazing.
- 41:15Speaker 1: Okay. You're gay and your dad says that your mom knows.
- 41:18Speaker 1: Do you believe that, that your mom knows about the
- 41:22Speaker 1: guy that your dad's talking to?
- 41:24Speaker 6: I don't know. That's a very good question. I, you know,
- 41:27Speaker 6: we haven't had any further conversation about this. So like, I,
- 41:31Speaker 6: I just kind of trust him and like move on
- 41:33Speaker 6: with everything. But I don't know if I do.
- 41:37Speaker 3: Just out of curiosity is the ideal goal at this
- 41:40Speaker 3: point is to just make sure your mom is essentially
- 41:43Speaker 3: aware of what's happening.
- 41:44Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly. I feel like she's like the main priority.
- 41:48Speaker 6: And so like, I don't want to know all the details, right?
- 41:51Speaker 6: Like that's your life. Do what you want. As long
- 41:54Speaker 6: as everybody's in agreement, everything's safe. And that's your life.
- 41:58Speaker 1: When you wrote that letter to your dad, you basically
- 42:00Speaker 1: just spelled this all out. And his response was, can
- 42:03Speaker 1: you just say it again? Like what he said to you?
- 42:05Speaker 6: He basically said like, he wouldn't hide or hurt mom
- 42:09Speaker 6: in any way. Like he loves me and my mother
- 42:11Speaker 6: more than his own life. Like, and he was very
- 42:14Speaker 6: open to talking about everything. And I think I've just
- 42:17Speaker 6: been kind of avoidant because it's very, we're just like,
- 42:20Speaker 6: we never talk like that, like as a family about stuff.
- 42:23Speaker 6: So I think he's very open to talk about it,
- 42:27Speaker 6: but we kind of like have pretended like nothing has happened.
- 42:30Speaker 6: I think the ball's in my court, but like I said,
- 42:34Speaker 6: I don't know if I truly trust everything, but I
- 42:37Speaker 6: think we're all kind of avoidant with it.
- 42:39Speaker 1: Okay. Well, of course, most families are pretty avoidant with
- 42:41Speaker 1: a lot of stuff like this. Do you have any
- 42:44Speaker 1: inclination or would you be open to sitting down with
- 42:47Speaker 1: him and having a really like face-to-face kind of conversation
- 42:51Speaker 1: with him so you could get a better read on
- 42:53Speaker 1: the situation and express to him that you need to
- 42:57Speaker 1: be really confident that your mother is aware of this?
- 43:01Speaker 6: Yeah, I think so. I just don't want to come
- 43:03Speaker 6: off as like accusatory or... anything in that sense.
- 43:07Speaker 1: But you know, this is your mother and it's your
- 43:09Speaker 1: father and it doesn't have to be accusatory. It just
- 43:11Speaker 1: has to be out of love. Like I'm coming to
- 43:14Speaker 1: you out of love. I love my mother. It would
- 43:16Speaker 1: break my heart if. she's being hurt in any way.
- 43:18Speaker 1: So I just really need you to explain to me
- 43:20Speaker 1: what's going on because I did see what I saw
- 43:23Speaker 1: and I want to support you too. You're my father.
- 43:26Speaker 1: I love you just as much as I love my mom.
- 43:29Speaker 1: And if there's any way, he knows you're gay, right? Yes,
- 43:31Speaker 1: he does.
- 43:32Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 43:32Speaker 1: Like if there's any way that you're having these kinds
- 43:35Speaker 1: of feelings or questions and you want to talk to me,
- 43:37Speaker 1: it's almost like an invitation. Like, hey, you can talk
- 43:40Speaker 1: to me if you are having these feelings. I am gay.
- 43:43Speaker 1: I'm out.
- 43:43Speaker 2: You know that.
- 43:44Speaker 1: But like, trying to just even stretch the conversation open
- 43:48Speaker 1: more so that you can either allay your suspicions or
- 43:52Speaker 1: confirm that maybe there is a little dishonesty going on
- 43:55Speaker 1: because as you're like, you know, if it's my, as,
- 43:59Speaker 1: as your mother's son, you obviously are not, you're going
- 44:02Speaker 1: to want to protect her from any sort of lies
- 44:06Speaker 1: or deceit.
- 44:07Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure. And I guess, you know, I think
- 44:10Speaker 6: the issue is like, if I don't trust what he's saying,
- 44:13Speaker 6: then do I bring my mom into this?
- 44:16Speaker 1: I think you do.
- 44:17Speaker 3: I do.
- 44:18Speaker 1: I would. But I mean, that's not for everyone. I
- 44:22Speaker 1: think if you don't trust what your dad is saying,
- 44:25Speaker 1: then you have to challenge him and say, hey, then
- 44:28Speaker 1: let's you, me, and mom sit down and discuss this.
- 44:30Speaker 1: Then if it's all open, I just want to have
- 44:32Speaker 1: a better understanding and I'm really protective over my mother
- 44:35Speaker 1: as I'm protective over you. But I can't stand the
- 44:38Speaker 1: thought of you deceiving my mother or doing anything behind
- 44:41Speaker 1: her back that would devastate her in this way. So
- 44:44Speaker 1: let's all just sit down and make sure we're all
- 44:46Speaker 1: on the same page without inserting yourself into his, you know,
- 44:50Speaker 1: into their sex life. Like you did see something. You
- 44:53Speaker 1: should say something. These are your parents. It's not like
- 44:56Speaker 1: people from work that you're just, you know, getting involved
- 44:59Speaker 1: in their relationship.
- 45:00Speaker 6: I think I know I need to do that. It's
- 45:02Speaker 6: just going to be so awkward.
- 45:05Speaker 1: I know. I know it is.
- 45:07Speaker 3: Just to give you– just what's already admirable about what
- 45:11Speaker 3: you've done is first even writing this letter. That's amazing
- 45:14Speaker 3: that you were able to be just open and honest
- 45:16Speaker 3: about that. And then just to kind of acknowledge like
- 45:20Speaker 3: the situation– you know, regardless of who knows what, like
- 45:24Speaker 3: I can imagine, like, it's also a big thing for
- 45:26Speaker 3: you to be going through just to even find out
- 45:28Speaker 3: that it may, even if your mom does know everything
- 45:30Speaker 3: that this is like, Oh wow, this is a new
- 45:33Speaker 3: thing that I'm dealing with and like learning about my parents.
- 45:36Speaker 3: So I just think like, allow yourself to feel those feelings.
- 45:39Speaker 3: And it's like, it is an intense situation. It is
- 45:41Speaker 3: an awkward situation. And that's, that's okay to feel that too.
- 45:44Speaker 1: And it's also like, these are kind of, um, to
- 45:47Speaker 1: finding moments in life when you have to kind of
- 45:49Speaker 1: face something that is really uncomfortable and really awkward. Like
- 45:53Speaker 1: I know it feels overwhelming and almost maybe insurmountable, but
- 45:56Speaker 1: you did take the first steps. Like Dave said, that
- 45:58Speaker 1: is hugely admirable. And it's worthwhile to follow through on that.
- 46:04Speaker 1: Just as a person who's going through the world so
- 46:06Speaker 1: that when you are facing difficult conversations, you actually have
- 46:10Speaker 1: experience in dealing with them head on instead of being avoidant.
- 46:13Speaker 1: you know, instead of looking the other way. And who
- 46:16Speaker 1: knows what you'll open up? You know what I mean?
- 46:19Speaker 1: Who knows what kind of open dialogue you'll create? When
- 46:21Speaker 1: your dad responded about the guy, did he give you
- 46:24Speaker 1: any like, okay, this guy wants to have sex with
- 46:27Speaker 1: me or is trying to, I don't know, you said
- 46:29Speaker 1: make him gay? Can you expand on that a little?
- 46:33Speaker 6: Yeah, he said, I have a friend who is and
- 46:38Speaker 6: kind of wants me to be. And then he said,
- 46:40Speaker 6: I'm not. And I'll explain everything to you. And So
- 46:44Speaker 6: I think that he is open to talk. And I
- 46:45Speaker 6: do want to give him the chance to share that story.
- 46:48Speaker 6: I feel like it took me a while to write
- 46:50Speaker 6: that letter. And then he responded. And now it's still
- 46:55Speaker 6: taking me a while.
- 46:56Speaker 4: To circle back.
- 46:58Speaker 7: I feel like for a big conversation like this, maybe
- 47:00Speaker 7: it's like, hey, dad, can we go to dinner? Can
- 47:03Speaker 7: we go out just you and me? I want to
- 47:06Speaker 7: talk and just connect on some things. So you know
- 47:09Speaker 7: that there's sort of a time and place for this.
- 47:11Speaker 7: As opposed to feeling like every time you walk in
- 47:13Speaker 7: the house, like, should I say it now?
- 47:14Speaker 2: Should I say it now? Like, set a time for
- 47:17Speaker 2: you guys to sit down together.
- 47:19Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. It took me a
- 47:20Speaker 6: while to write the letter because I wanted to do
- 47:22Speaker 6: it in person.
- 47:23Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 47:23Speaker 6: But every time I had the opportunity, I just chickened out.
- 47:27Speaker 6: I was like, eh.
- 47:28Speaker 5: Completely.
- 47:28Speaker 1: Yeah, but you didn't chicken out in the end. You
- 47:30Speaker 1: wrote it. That's great. So do this. Have a conversation
- 47:33Speaker 1: with him first, just one-on-one. And then from there, you'll
- 47:37Speaker 1: gather the information of what you should do next. But
- 47:40Speaker 1: please get back to us after you have the first
- 47:42Speaker 1: conversation and check in and let us know what happened.
- 47:45Speaker 1: And if you want to talk about it further, we're
- 47:47Speaker 1: totally down.
- 47:48Speaker 3: But also, obviously, we're just meeting you, but you do
- 47:51Speaker 3: seem like just such a kind, warm person that I
- 47:57Speaker 3: think this– you don't have to look at it like
- 47:58Speaker 3: a confrontation. I think– you have already in you just
- 48:03Speaker 3: the ability to bring it up in a way that
- 48:05Speaker 3: it's like, it's coming from a good place and just
- 48:07Speaker 3: wanting to protect your mom and make sure everyone's on
- 48:09Speaker 3: the same page.
- 48:10Speaker 6: Thank you. I appreciate the words. And that's kind of
- 48:12Speaker 6: how I wrote my letter. It's like, this is coming
- 48:15Speaker 6: from love.
- 48:16Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 48:16Speaker 1: And the more time you take, like, you know, you,
- 48:18Speaker 1: I could tell that you're carefully thinking about this because
- 48:21Speaker 1: you took your time to do it. You're not being reactive.
- 48:24Speaker 1: You're responding. And, and that already is a sign of
- 48:27Speaker 1: maturity and growth. Have you been to therapy already?
- 48:30Speaker 6: Not about this, but I've been to therapy many times
- 48:32Speaker 6: in the past.
- 48:33Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 48:33Speaker 1: It seems like you've been to therapy so that you
- 48:35Speaker 1: have like a mature outlook and, you know, not to
- 48:38Speaker 1: do things with a knee jerk reaction because that doesn't always,
- 48:41Speaker 1: you know, net well.
- 48:43Speaker 6: What a compliment. Thank you.
- 48:44Speaker 1: Oh yeah, of course. Yeah. But let us know how
- 48:47Speaker 1: that goes. Okay. Have that conversation and then check back
- 48:49Speaker 1: in with us.
- 48:51Speaker 6: Yeah, I will. Thank you so much.
- 48:53Speaker 1: Awesome. Thanks for calling.
- 48:55Speaker 4: Thanks man.
- 48:55Speaker 1: Bye. Oh, wow.
- 48:57Speaker 5: I know.
- 48:58Speaker 7: And I'm also sort of like, sometimes people explore things
- 49:02Speaker 7: and then nothing happens with it, right? So he might
- 49:04Speaker 7: find out like, oh, sort of a false alarm, but
- 49:07Speaker 7: you just never know.
- 49:08Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like the binary reactions to things like, okay, yes,
- 49:12Speaker 1: he's on a gay website. Yes, he's talking to a man.
- 49:16Speaker 1: Most people listening to this are going to be like, okay,
- 49:18Speaker 1: obviously something's up. He's full of shit. But I do
- 49:22Speaker 1: think there is room for nuance with everybody. Some people
- 49:25Speaker 1: are just like, some people aren't just, it's not automatically
- 49:30Speaker 1: that this guy's gay and lying and has a secret life.
- 49:32Speaker 1: It's a possibility, but it's not just a definite assumption
- 49:36Speaker 1: to make.
- 49:37Speaker 3: There's a version where You know, the mom does know,
- 49:42Speaker 3: but also her and her husband haven't even fully talked
- 49:45Speaker 3: about it. Like maybe she doesn't want to address it yet.
- 49:47Speaker 4: Right.
- 49:48Speaker 3: But like with what he's going through, clearly he needs
- 49:51Speaker 3: to get it out. You can't just let this sit
- 49:53Speaker 3: there forever.
- 49:54Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 49:54Speaker 1: With your own parents. Yeah. If I knew that, I
- 49:56Speaker 1: would immediately just pack my dad's bags and be like,
- 49:59Speaker 1: you're out of here. You know, no conversation about it.
- 50:02Speaker 1: That would have been my reaction. So I love that
- 50:04Speaker 1: he's like so mature and thoughtful about it.
- 50:06Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah.
- 50:11Speaker 7: So Mia is writing in and she says, Dear Chelsea,
- 50:14Speaker 7: I'm 33 years old and I've been with my boyfriend
- 50:16Speaker 7: for three years. Overall, our relationship feels about 80% great
- 50:20Speaker 7: and 20% in need of work. My fear is that
- 50:22Speaker 7: the 20% could grow over time and start to overshadow
- 50:25Speaker 7: the good, especially if we decide to have children.
- 50:27Speaker 2: The main challenge is his family.
- 50:30Speaker 7: His mom is wonderful, but I struggle with his two
- 50:32Speaker 7: sisters who have never felt fully comfortable around. One sister
- 50:35Speaker 7: is particularly religious and sometimes I feel judged by her.
- 50:38Speaker 7: The other has an extremely negative personality, scolding her husband
- 50:41Speaker 7: and kids over small things and speaking in a demeaning way.
- 50:44Speaker 7: Being around her is emotionally draining and I strongly dislike it.
- 50:48Speaker 7: Family gatherings are especially hard for me. There's little meaningful
- 50:51Speaker 7: adult conversation and I leave feeling depleted. I often tell
- 50:54Speaker 7: my boyfriend that I just don't want to attend, which
- 50:57Speaker 7: leads to arguments. The holidays are particularly difficult. We don't
- 51:00Speaker 7: agree on how to divide time and I tend to
- 51:02Speaker 7: avoid his family, which has led to a lot of resentment.
- 51:05Speaker 7: My boyfriend understands how I feel but gets hurt and
- 51:07Speaker 7: says he can't understand why I can't just be present
- 51:09Speaker 7: for him while I feel like I'm constantly protecting my
- 51:12Speaker 7: emotional energy. It's starting to impact our relationship and I
- 51:16Speaker 7: worry it'll only get worse if we have kids. So
- 51:18Speaker 7: I'm left wondering, is this something that can be worked
- 51:20Speaker 7: through with boundaries and compromise or are we fundamentally incompatible
- 51:24Speaker 7: when it comes to family?
- 51:25Speaker 2: Thank you, Mia.
- 51:26Speaker 1: Hi, Mia.
- 51:27Speaker 5: Hi, Mia.
- 51:27Speaker 4: Hey, Mia.
- 51:28Speaker 5: Hello.
- 51:29Speaker 1: Hi, this is our special guest Dave Franco.
- 51:31Speaker 7: How's it going?
- 51:32Speaker 5: Oh, it's going great.
- 51:33Speaker 6: Nice to meet you.
- 51:34Speaker 4: Nice to meet you.
- 51:36Speaker 5: Wow.
- 51:37Speaker 1: That's really an interesting question.
- 51:39Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 51:40Speaker 1: Because I don't like, I mean, you guys are both
- 51:44Speaker 1: married and you're like, what are you? I'm not married
- 51:46Speaker 1: to someone specifically because I don't want to deal with
- 51:49Speaker 1: someone else's family.
- 51:52Speaker 5: We're actually not married.
- 51:54Speaker 1: I know.
- 51:54Speaker 6: I know.
- 51:54Speaker 1: But you're thinking about spending your life with him, right?
- 51:57Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 51:57Speaker 3: So I'm curious, what's his own relationship like with his
- 52:01Speaker 3: family and his sisters?
- 52:03Speaker 5: Well, it's a very interesting one. He would say that
- 52:07Speaker 5: they're extremely close. You know, they grew up with a
- 52:10Speaker 5: single mom. Their dad left them when, well, he was
- 52:15Speaker 5: about six years old. And he would say that they're
- 52:17Speaker 5: very close. But when I'm around them, there's very little interaction.
- 52:23Speaker 5: My boyfriend is very quiet. I feel like his sisters
- 52:27Speaker 5: don't really ask him any questions like how, you know,
- 52:30Speaker 5: how school, how's work, you know? So it's very, very
- 52:34Speaker 5: little to just low communication, but you know, he's very
- 52:38Speaker 5: much there for, for them whenever they need any kind
- 52:42Speaker 5: of support, whenever there's a family event, a gathering, a
- 52:46Speaker 5: birthday dinner, he's always there. So he, he does try
- 52:50Speaker 5: to be very present.
- 52:52Speaker 4: It's a tough situation.
- 52:53Speaker 3: I mean, I know people who are in a similar
- 52:57Speaker 3: situation and I'm trying to think of how they've dealt
- 52:59Speaker 3: with it over the years because, you know, obviously his
- 53:03Speaker 3: family is very important to him and he wants to
- 53:05Speaker 3: spend time with them and like on the holidays, like
- 53:08Speaker 3: he will be with them. I'm thinking about my friend.
- 53:13Speaker 3: She endures that, you know, it's never going to be
- 53:15Speaker 3: easy for her to be with her partner's family, but
- 53:18Speaker 3: she's found ways to handle it. Whether it's, it's just
- 53:21Speaker 3: even little things that add up, whether it's like, okay,
- 53:25Speaker 3: when I'm at, you know, some sort of event or
- 53:28Speaker 3: some sort of holiday with your family, during the morning,
- 53:32Speaker 3: I'm going to go on my morning walk, just me.
- 53:34Speaker 4: I'm going to go get my coffee.
- 53:35Speaker 3: I'm going to spend time by myself and I can
- 53:37Speaker 3: just kind of be away and just.
- 53:39Speaker 4: Get a little more zen.
- 53:40Speaker 3: And then knowing that, like, it doesn't sound like it's
- 53:44Speaker 3: ever going to be like a beautiful, harmonious situation with
- 53:48Speaker 3: this family, but I just think you need to do
- 53:50Speaker 3: things for yourself. Just another question, I imagine, like, you
- 53:54Speaker 3: seem like a nice person. I imagine you've tried to
- 53:56Speaker 3: bond with the sisters. You've tried to make it work.
- 53:58Speaker 3: You've tried to make it more cordial.
- 54:01Speaker 5: Yes, definitely. I do try. I feel like when I'm
- 54:04Speaker 5: around them, I'm like invisible. Like they don't really try
- 54:07Speaker 5: to talk to me. It's just, it's a very interesting dynamic.
- 54:11Speaker 5: So I feel like I have to like insert myself, share,
- 54:14Speaker 5: you know, a random story. Otherwise, you know, I could
- 54:18Speaker 5: just be quiet the whole time. I don't want to be, you.
- 54:22Speaker 1: Know, does your partner recognize that it's awkward for the
- 54:27Speaker 1: whole family or does he not see it that way?
- 54:30Speaker 5: I think he has come to recognize, you know, cause
- 54:33Speaker 5: I have told him again and again, like, Hey, like
- 54:36Speaker 5: try to start up a conversation to get us like
- 54:39Speaker 5: both involved. You know, I think it's just hard for
- 54:42Speaker 5: him because it's just how it has been, you know,
- 54:46Speaker 5: for forever. Yeah. So around the holidays is like, big
- 54:51Speaker 5: event occurred. It was Christmas Day. We went over to
- 54:56Speaker 5: open a present and him and I shared that we
- 55:00Speaker 5: were going to go on like a New Year's trip
- 55:03Speaker 5: to Costa Rica. And his sister's birthday is on New
- 55:09Speaker 5: Year's Day. So it meant that we were going to
- 55:11Speaker 5: miss her birthday. And she got really upset and she
- 55:16Speaker 5: cried about it. And then he started getting really emotional.
- 55:21Speaker 5: So it was like a whole thing. And when we left,
- 55:24Speaker 5: he just kept telling me that I don't understand their
- 55:27Speaker 5: family traditions. And I think that after that, I think
- 55:33Speaker 5: a lot of resentment has built up and just being
- 55:36Speaker 5: around his family has become even more uncomfortable for me.
- 55:40Speaker 1: Oh, you seem so sweet. And I know what you mean.
- 55:45Speaker 1: I can totally relate to this, just not from my
- 55:47Speaker 1: own personal experience, but from friends and so many people
- 55:51Speaker 1: that have dealt with this because it is a really
- 55:53Speaker 1: tricky subject because family dynamics are family dynamics and you
- 55:56Speaker 1: will never know what happened with that family growing up
- 55:59Speaker 1: and how they interact and how they operate. And To
- 56:02Speaker 1: get involved is very tricky. And I think the only
- 56:05Speaker 1: thing that you can do is to really sit down
- 56:09Speaker 1: and maybe you want to do this with a therapist,
- 56:11Speaker 1: you know, a couple's therapist, just so that you have like,
- 56:14Speaker 1: you know, a third party there that can navigate the
- 56:16Speaker 1: conversation because you're coming from a really sweet, loving place
- 56:20Speaker 1: and it isn't your family, but you do want to
- 56:23Speaker 1: be respectful of his relationship with them. But that doesn't
- 56:27Speaker 1: always need to include you. There can be boundaries that
- 56:30Speaker 1: are created in a really healthy way around the fact
- 56:34Speaker 1: that you don't feel so comfortable. You feel like there's
- 56:37Speaker 1: some unhealthy attachments, you know, and, and on all of
- 56:40Speaker 1: this in a nonjudgmental way, like you're not going to
- 56:43Speaker 1: say unhealthy attachments. That's probably what the therapist is for
- 56:46Speaker 1: to just point out, you know, adults having to celebrate
- 56:49Speaker 1: their birthdays as adults is a little bit silly, quite frankly,
- 56:53Speaker 1: you know, like for my, if my brother was upset
- 56:55Speaker 1: with me for not being there on his birthday, I
- 56:57Speaker 1: would tell him to go fuck himself. Like That's absolutely
- 56:59Speaker 1: not happening. So, and I understand that there's a tradition, blah, blah, blah,
- 57:04Speaker 1: but these are kind of, they sound like childlike traditions
- 57:08Speaker 1: that you're not necessarily going to take into your adult life.
- 57:12Speaker 1: So I think it would behoove you to have a
- 57:14Speaker 1: third party involved with your husband to kind of lay
- 57:18Speaker 1: that out for him. So you're not the enemy because
- 57:22Speaker 1: you're clearly just coming from a very reasonable place. Yeah,
- 57:26Speaker 1: I agree.
- 57:27Speaker 7: And, You know, I think the goal would be to
- 57:29Speaker 7: figure out when you're with this family, how to best engage.
- 57:35Speaker 7: And also, like, what is the ratio? Is it one
- 57:37Speaker 7: in four that you attend these family parties? Is it
- 57:40Speaker 7: a couple times a year? You know, what sort of
- 57:43Speaker 7: makes sense for their family? But also one thing I
- 57:46Speaker 7: would recommend when you do have to go to these
- 57:49Speaker 7: is have something outside of just conversation that's something you
- 57:52Speaker 7: can do together. Chelsea's going to hate this, but whether
- 57:55Speaker 7: it's a game or dare I say a puzzle, a
- 57:58Speaker 7: puzzle is something everybody can be working on. You can talk,
- 58:01Speaker 7: you can not talk, but you have something to do
- 58:03Speaker 7: that's like communal and like it.
- 58:06Speaker 2: Kind of just like helps smooth over some stuff.
- 58:09Speaker 7: So having something that's outside of yourselves, that's like a
- 58:11Speaker 7: little project or a game or something can help take
- 58:14Speaker 7: the pressure off of like, damn, these people are really
- 58:16Speaker 7: boring or like unpleasant to be around.
- 58:18Speaker 1: And I also think, yeah, those are good ideas. And
- 58:21Speaker 1: I mean, there's not a lot of talking that goes
- 58:22Speaker 1: on with a puzzle anyway, so that's kind of perfect.
- 58:26Speaker 1: But I also think the way you introduce this subject
- 58:29Speaker 1: to your partner, like introducing the idea of like, listen,
- 58:33Speaker 1: I really, you guys are kind of planning to be
- 58:36Speaker 1: together for life, right? Like that's what we're talking about.
- 58:40Speaker 1: And this is a concern of yours. Like if you say, hey, listen,
- 58:44Speaker 1: I really want to make this work with us. like
- 58:47Speaker 1: what's the best way for us to move forward? And
- 58:49Speaker 1: actually maybe let's get another, like a third party involved,
- 58:53Speaker 1: like a couples therapist, just to talk about the family stuff,
- 58:56Speaker 1: because I think that's our only area that we really
- 58:59Speaker 1: need to work on. And I don't want to impose
- 59:03Speaker 1: or insert myself in any way that's inappropriate, but I
- 59:06Speaker 1: do need you to hear me. And I do want
- 59:08Speaker 1: to figure out the best way to move forward. And
- 59:11Speaker 1: so that I'm protected and that you're also getting to
- 59:13Speaker 1: spend quality time with your family. You know what I mean?
- 59:16Speaker 1: You could just introduce the whole thing in the most
- 59:18Speaker 1: loving way. And, you know, the real key is to
- 59:22Speaker 1: always go to a therapist before you have the problem,
- 59:25Speaker 1: you know, so you can kind of frame it like that,
- 59:27Speaker 1: like before it becomes necessary. a big issue. Let's figure
- 59:31Speaker 1: out the best way we're going to deal with it.
- 59:34Speaker 1: Do you feel comfortable doing something like that?
- 59:37Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely. Um, I, we have talked about going to
- 59:40Speaker 5: therapy and he is open to the idea.
- 59:43Speaker 4: Great.
- 59:43Speaker 5: Great.
- 59:44Speaker 1: So then there you go. Then that's what you do.
- 59:46Speaker 1: That's your next step.
- 59:47Speaker 6: Okay.
- 59:48Speaker 1: Or you could bring him on this show and you know,
- 59:50Speaker 1: we can talk to him and see how that goes.
- 59:53Speaker 1: We always welcome couples.
- 59:55Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
- 59:57Speaker 1: But, yeah, so that sounds good. And good luck with everything.
- 1:00:00Speaker 1: Keep us posted. Give us a report back. We love those.
- 1:00:02Speaker 5: All right. Will do. Thank you so much.
- 1:00:05Speaker 6: Thanks, Mia.
- 1:00:06Speaker 1: Thank you.
- 1:00:07Speaker 3: Thanks, Mia.
- 1:00:07Speaker 6: All right.
- 1:00:09Speaker 1: Dave, have you ever worn headphones before or are you
- 1:00:10Speaker 1: trying not to mess up your hair? What is going
- 1:00:12Speaker 1: on over there? You look so good.
- 1:00:13Speaker 4: We can take them off now. We can take them off? Yeah.
- 1:00:17Speaker 5: It's over. It's over.
- 1:00:18Speaker 4: Chelsea, you are... Both of you guys are very good
- 1:00:21Speaker 4: at this.
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: You did great, too. You did great. You were great.
- 1:00:24Speaker 4: No, but, like..
- 1:00:25Speaker 3: It's tough, like, giving advice because this is people's real lives. And, like,
- 1:00:30Speaker 3: you don't want to send them off in the wrong
- 1:00:31Speaker 3: direction and say, do something that's going to blow up
- 1:00:33Speaker 3: their relationship.
- 1:00:34Speaker 4: But, like, that was really tender and nice.
- 1:00:36Speaker 1: Oh, well, thank you. Thank you. You guys, you can
- 1:00:39Speaker 1: see Idiots. It's in theaters tomorrow. It's real fucking funny.
- 1:00:43Speaker 1: So if you want to reprieve from the world that
- 1:00:46Speaker 1: we're living in, please go and see it. You can
- 1:00:48Speaker 1: also catch Dave and the disaster artist, the studio, together.
- 1:00:52Speaker 1: Now You See Me franchise and Neighbors. And also, you
- 1:00:55Speaker 1: have a new movie, Forgotten Island, that's coming out.
- 1:00:57Speaker 4: That's right.
- 1:00:58Speaker 1: Right, a Filipino story.
- 1:00:59Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
- 1:01:00Speaker 1: Are you Filipino now?
- 1:01:01Speaker 6: No.
- 1:01:02Speaker 3: It's basically me, Jenny Slate, and all the Filipinos.
- 1:01:06Speaker 4: Let's go.
- 1:01:06Speaker 5: Perfect.
- 1:01:06Speaker 1: Is Joe Coy in it? He is.
- 1:01:08Speaker 3: Oh, my.
- 1:01:08Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 1:01:10Speaker 1: What are the chances? Oh, my God.
- 1:01:13Speaker 4: But it's a beautiful, beautiful movie. I'm, like, so proud
- 1:01:17Speaker 4: to be in this one.
- 1:01:17Speaker 1: Oh, that's awesome.
- 1:01:19Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 1:01:19Speaker 1: I love it. So what's your relationship to all the
- 1:01:21Speaker 1: Filipinos in the movie?
- 1:01:22Speaker 3: You know, so it's an animated movie. I play a were-dog.
- 1:01:26Speaker 3: It's kind of like a werewolf, but the dog version.
- 1:01:29Speaker 3: So I'm just like a little creature on this island.
- 1:01:31Speaker 1: Okay, well, hopefully they'll be able to feature your eyelashes.
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: Thank you, Dave Franco. You've been such a pleasure. Thank you, guys.
- 1:01:38Speaker 4: That was awesome.
- 1:01:39Speaker 7: If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to DearChelseaPodcast
- 1:01:43Speaker 7: at gmail.com.
- 1:01:44Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
- 1:01:47Speaker 7: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find
- 1:01:50Speaker 7: Catherine on TikTok at FlashCadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and
- 1:01:54Speaker 7: engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full
- 1:01:58Speaker 7: video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets
- 1:02:02Speaker 7: to see Chelsea live at ChelseaHandler.com.