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Emotional Meter: Catching It In The Yellow · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

• 0:01
  Good morning. Welcome back to unlocking the
• 0:03
  Paradigm portal. My name is Sarah.
• 0:05
  I want you to do something before I say anything else.
• 0:08
  Put your hand on the center of your chest, not over your heart
• 0:11
  exactly, just the middle where your ribs meet and leave it
• 0:14
  there. So whatever you're about to feel
• 0:16
  while I talk, I want you to check in with that spot.
• 0:19
  Just notice it. You don't have to do anything
• 0:22
  about it. You don't have to figure it out.
• 0:24
  You just have to keep your hand there and notice.
• 0:26
  That's the whole episode. That right there.
• 0:28
  Pretty simple, right? But I'm going to explain why,
• 0:31
  because most of you have maybe never been told what you're
• 0:34
  feeling. Under your hand is information.
• 0:37
  So you have a meter, Every single person has one, and it's
• 0:41
  been running your whole life. And it tracks in real time how
• 0:45
  much you're carrying, how close you are to your edge, how much
• 0:48
  capacity you actually have in this moment.
• 0:51
  And most of you have no idea it's there.
• 0:54
  Not because you're broken or there's something wrong with
• 0:56
  you, but because nobody ever told you it existed.
• 0:59
  Nobody ever said, hey, that heaviness in your chest, that's
• 1:02
  information. That tightness in your throat
• 1:05
  when you're not even crying. That's your meter talking.
• 1:08
  You were raised to push through, to get it done, to not make a
• 1:12
  fuss, to be fine, to answer. How are you with good you before
• 1:16
  you even checked. So the meter started getting
• 1:19
  quieter and quieter, and eventually it went underground.
• 1:24
  Not because it stopped working, but because you stopped
• 1:27
  listening, and the body eventually learns there's no
• 1:29
  point in sending signals to someone who isn't reading them.
• 1:33
  So here's how you know the meter is still running, even if you
• 1:36
  can't feel it. You find yourself crying in your
• 1:39
  car and you don't know why. You get hit with a complete
• 1:43
  sense of mental and emotional overwhelm from a seemingly
• 1:47
  simple conversation. You snap at your kid or your
• 1:51
  partner over something small and the force of it surprises you.
• 1:55
  You get sick the day after a big event, like your body was
• 1:58
  holding it together until it didn't have to anymore.
• 2:01
  You cancel plans three weeks in a row and you can't say exactly
• 2:04
  why. You're exhausted at 10 AM on a
• 2:07
  Tuesday and you've already had a mountain of coffee.
• 2:12
  You may have find yourself having explosive eruptions and
• 2:16
  being genuinely appalled at your own behavior.
• 2:19
  So those aren't random events. Those are the meter finally
• 2:22
  getting loud enough to be heard because you missed every quiet
• 2:25
  signal leading up to it. So the breakdown didn't arrive
• 2:28
  out of nowhere. It arrived right on schedule.
• 2:31
  You just weren't reading the schedule.
• 2:34
  So the meter doesn't speak in words, it speaks in sensation.
• 2:38
  The heaviness in your chest you can't explain.
• 2:40
  Something sitting in your throat when there's nothing to swallow.
• 2:44
  A tightness across your shoulders that showed up without
• 2:47
  warning and your jaw clenched and you didn't know it.
• 2:51
  Or there's a flutter in your stomach that isn't hunger.
• 2:54
  Maybe there's a pole to be alone that isn't about the people
• 2:56
  you're with. A craving for silence that feels
• 3:00
  almost physical, or an irritation at a sound, a light,
• 3:04
  a small thing that shouldn't matter but it does.
• 3:07
  Breath that's gotten shallow without you noticing.
• 3:11
  So those are the quiet signals. Those are the needle moving
• 3:14
  toward the red before anything visibly breaks.
• 3:17
  Most of you have been treating those as background noise your
• 3:20
  entire adult life. God knows I did for most of it.
• 3:25
  They're not noise. They're the message, and we just
• 3:28
  keep overlooking it. So here's something I want you
• 3:31
  to hear clearly. Every meter is calibrated
• 3:34
  differently. Some people have a lower
• 3:36
  threshold. They hit their Max sooner.
• 3:39
  They feel overwhelmed faster. They get sick, they get tearful,
• 3:42
  they get upset, they may explode.
• 3:45
  They need to leave the room. They shut down earlier than
• 3:49
  everyone else, and that sounds like a disadvantage, but it
• 3:53
  actually in many ways is a gift. Their body speaks up early.
• 3:58
  They get more warning other people, and I am one of those
• 4:01
  people, have a higher threshold, more capacity, more tolerance.
• 4:05
  You can carry more for longer with before the meter climbs.
• 4:09
  And that sounds like strength, right?
• 4:11
  And in a lot of ways it is. But here's the shadow side.
• 4:16
  If your capacity is high and your awareness is low, you don't
• 4:20
  feel the heat of the water until you're already cooking.
• 4:23
  You miss every early signal because your body can tolerate
• 4:27
  them. You only notice when something
• 4:29
  is genuinely burning and by then the damage is already done.
• 4:34
  The work isn't changing your calibration.
• 4:37
  You don't need more capacity or less capacity.
• 4:40
  You need more accuracy. You need to know where you are
• 4:44
  on your meter, not where someone else would be on theirs.
• 4:48
  Your meter is yours. Stop comparing your red to
• 4:50
  somebody else's green. So last Saturday night I laid
• 4:55
  down on my couch. This was like 2 days ago.
• 4:58
  Wow, time feels like it's worked.
• 5:00
  And I could not move. I hadn't done anything physical
• 5:02
  all day. If you listen to my Sunday deep
• 5:05
  dive, I did talk about this. The house was quiet for the
• 5:08
  first time in hours and my body just stopped.
• 5:11
  Actually now that I think about it, it was more than hours.
• 5:14
  It was like a week and a half completely stopped and I noticed
• 5:19
  something. There was a heaviness in my
• 5:22
  entire body and there was something sitting in my throat
• 5:25
  like a burning soreness sensation.
• 5:28
  And even my brain felt sluggish, like everything I'd taken in
• 5:31
  that day had nowhere left to go. And here's what I did not do.
• 5:37
  I did not get up in power through it.
• 5:38
  But let me tell you, the urge was strong and my body was so
• 5:43
  fatigued I was like, it's not happening.
• 5:46
  I did not tell myself to stop being dramatic.
• 5:50
  I did not reach for my phone to distract myself out of it.
• 5:53
  Here's what I did. I located it.
• 5:55
  I put my awareness on that spot in my chest and I breathed
• 5:59
  toward it. Not to fix it, not to move it,
• 6:01
  just to acknowledge it was there.
• 6:03
  And slowly, very slowly, something softened.
• 6:07
  So that's it. That's the whole practice.
• 6:10
  There is no protocol. There is No 10 step technique.
• 6:13
  There is just where is it living in my body right now?
• 6:17
  Can I find it? Can I breathe toward it without
• 6:20
  trying to make it go away? That moment of locating, of the
• 6:24
  feeling of feeling the weight of what you're carrying without
• 6:28
  trying to immediately put it down.
• 6:30
  That's the whole thing. And you probably thought it was
• 6:33
  really complicated, right? That's it.
• 6:36
  So your hand is still on your chest, and I'm going to ask you
• 6:39
  to keep it there for one more minute.
• 6:41
  I want you to stop trying to feel anything specific.
• 6:45
  I know that's probably, that most likely is a huge challenge.
• 6:48
  Stop trying to get it right. There is no right in this.
• 6:52
  Stop trying to find something profound.
• 6:55
  And I guarantee if you come and listen to these episodes, you're
• 6:58
  looking for that epiphany moment, which is awesome.
• 7:02
  Keep doing that. But right now, in this moment,
• 7:05
  there is nothing more profound than the simple signal your body
• 7:08
  is sending you. So keep sitting there with your
• 7:12
  hand on your chest and ask yourself what's here?
• 7:16
  Is it heavy, light, tight, loose, warm, cold, still
• 7:20
  buzzing, absent, empty, full? Don't name an emotion.
• 7:25
  Your brain is going to want to jump to that.
• 7:28
  That's explaining it and interpreting it.
• 7:31
  So when I say what are you feeling?
• 7:32
  And you say anxiety, cool, that's awesome.
• 7:35
  You know in your mind what it is.
• 7:36
  What does anxiety feel like for you?
• 7:39
  What sensation is it? Where is it in your body?
• 7:43
  Just notice that sensation. That's your meter done right
• 7:47
  there. That's the needle.
• 7:48
  You don't have to do anything with it.
• 7:50
  You don't have to fix it, change it, move it, or make it mean
• 7:53
  something. You just have to know it's
• 7:55
  there. Because the moment you can feel
• 7:58
  your own meter even a little, you stop being blindsided by
• 8:02
  your own exhaustion. You stop wondering why you
• 8:05
  crashed on Friday when you felt fine on Wednesday.
• 8:08
  You stop exploding when you really want to make a connection
• 8:13
  with somebody. You stop treating your nervous
• 8:16
  system like a machine that should just keep running, and
• 8:19
  you start treating it like the living instrument it actually
• 8:21
  is. So three times a day, that's it.
• 8:24
  I want you to stop morning, middle of the day before bed,
• 8:28
  put your hand somewhere on your body, chest, belly, throat, back
• 8:31
  of your neck, wherever you're drawn to, and ask what's here
• 8:34
  right now. Don't answer with a story,
• 8:37
  answer with a sensation. That's it.
• 8:40
  That's the entire practice, 10 seconds, three times a day.
• 8:44
  And I'll tell you what's going to happen.
• 8:47
  So for the first few days you might feel nothing or you'll
• 8:50
  feel something and immediately try to name it.
• 8:53
  And I always say logic your way through it, fix it, explain it.
• 8:57
  That's OK Keep going. Somewhere around day four or
• 9:00
  five, the meter starts coming back online and you'll notice
• 9:05
  something earlier than you would have before.
• 9:07
  Maybe a little tightness, maybe a little heaviness, and for the
• 9:11
  first time in a long time, you'll catch it when the needle
• 9:14
  is still in the yellow, not after it's already in the red.
• 9:18
  That's when everything starts changing.
• 9:20
  That is the moment. So just keep doing this.
• 9:24
  So here's the thing, Nobody taught you this.
• 9:27
  Nobody said, hey, that thing in your chest, that's information.
• 9:30
  That tightness in your throat, that's your meter talking.
• 9:33
  You learn the hard way and the long way, or you haven't learned
• 9:36
  it at all yet and you're here. So that's amazing.
• 9:40
  Either way, you're grown now and you're the only one who can
• 9:43
  learn to read the instrument you've been carrying your whole
• 9:46
  life. So hand on your chest, three
• 9:49
  times a day. What's here?
• 9:50
  Got it. That's the assignment for the
• 9:52
  week. And if this found someone who
• 9:54
  needed it, send it to them. Not to fix anything, but just to
• 9:59
  know the signal they've been ignoring has a name.
• 10:03
  So for today, keep going. My brain is still trying to wake
• 10:07
  up. I'm going to go and join my
• 10:10
  Monday. I do have a little bit of work
• 10:11
  today, surprising, but it's not till the afternoon.
• 10:14
  Otherwise I'm just going to. I'm going to be in my liminal
• 10:18
  space today. Leave some comments if you have
• 10:21
  any sensations you came up with and if you would like me to put
• 10:25
  a list of sensations in the comments to help you, I
• 10:28
  absolutely will. I know that if this is a foreign
• 10:32
  concept or if you over time have become really disconnected, it
• 10:36
  may legitimately be very difficult to name the sensation.
• 10:40
  So I'm happy to do that. So like, share, subscribe, hype,
• 10:43
  do the things, whatever. Just keep coming back for more.
• 10:46
  And I will be back on Wednesday.