Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1292 - [Parental Guidance Episode 2] Peer Pressure: Fostering Healthy Friendships

Transcript

#1292 - [Parental Guidance Episode 2] Peer Pressure: Fostering Healthy Friendships · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, how good is Parental Guidance? Season three
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: is back. We've just had episode two last night on
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Channel nine. You can stream it and catch up on
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: nine now today. Welcome to the Happy Families podcast, Real
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: parenting Solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: My name's doctor Justin Courson. I'm here with missus Happy Families, Kylie.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I love this show, Kylie, and I love sitting down
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: with the kids and watching it. A bitter heavy one
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: last night, though.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: What I love about the show is just the way
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: it opens up dialogue with your family. And because we've
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: got such a vast range of ages in our home,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: the way each of them perceives and is able to
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: internalize the messages that are shared is so delightful.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it really is. We do need to warn
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you spoilers galore. If you haven't watched it, don't listen
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: to the pod yet, or listen and then be prepared
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: for what's coming. Last night, pressure of the long standing
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: struggle that is pushing kids to the edge. Can today's
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: kids make friends? Do they practice consent? Can they resist
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: toxic influences? Our focused parents were the same as Episode one.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Courtney and Jean tell us about you.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: We're the pro tech parents. We embrace technology in our
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: everyday lives so that our kids acquire the skills that
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: they need for their future. I socialize with my kids
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: through technology because we will play games together, we will
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: live stream together, we'll make content together.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: How you client, I'm really good?
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: Thank you?
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: How about yourself?
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: Gaming allows the children to socialize with their friends online
• 1:42
  Speaker 6: and meet people online.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: Thank you for the gifts.
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: It's very easy to succumb to peer pressure, so I
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: think we've had a lot of conversations with them about
• 1:51
  Speaker 6: standing up for what you believe in and making sure
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: your voice is heard.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Amy and Mark were the active parents, choose fun and
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: outdoor activities.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: And we prioritize family time.
• 2:08
  Speaker 7: As active parents, the more for risky play. Also, the
• 2:13
  Speaker 7: backyard were built was a risky backyard. As active parents,
• 2:19
  Speaker 7: with peer pressure, we're constantly talking to the kids about it.
• 2:23
  Speaker 8: No means no. If they don't want to do something,
• 2:25
  Speaker 8: they don't have to do something.
• 2:26
  Speaker 7: You don't want to do it, just so no and
• 2:28
  Speaker 7: walk away.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Mark and Temmy we're the upfront parents, but we still
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: have old school values.
• 2:35
  Speaker 7: With open communication, where knowledge is power. Do are silly, man.
• 2:43
  Speaker 7: We're the upfront family and we're all about proactive parenting.
• 2:46
  Speaker 7: Having open and honest conversations is ready. Nothing is off limits.
• 2:55
  Speaker 7: If our kids found pressure by others, I would like
• 2:57
  Speaker 7: to see ink that they can remember what we've been
• 3:00
  Speaker 7: saying for thirteen years, Daddy. We rely on them knowing
• 3:04
  Speaker 7: right from wrong. We've taught our kids to say know
• 3:07
  Speaker 7: if they don't agree with something.
• 3:08
  Speaker 9: Their kids will definitely.
• 3:10
  Speaker 7: Much to our detriments sometimes.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Nathan and Joanne tell us your preferred parenting STYFF.
• 3:17
  Speaker 10: We're the traditional parents.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: We have traditional mom and dad rules. We lead by example,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: being kind and disciplined with ourselves one two three. We
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: are traditional parents. We've chosen to parent our children with
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: strong Christian values. We allow them to walk their path
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: and we just sort of we're going along protecting them
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: and keeping them safe on it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 10: As traditional parents. I think our children can handle peer
• 3:46
  Speaker 10: pressure very well, and they have a very clear standard
• 3:49
  Speaker 10: of what's right and wrong that's based on our faith.
• 3:53
  Speaker 10: If they're pressured to do something that crosses that line,
• 3:57
  Speaker 10: then it's a hard no for them.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, so last night was about peer pressure. We started
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: off by highlighting that not all peer pressure is bad.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a really big believer in positive peer pressure. You
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: become the average of the five people you spend the
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: most time with, so who you're surrounding yourself with. If
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: you can surround yourself with great people, you'll become a
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: much better person. At the risk of oversimplifying, if you
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: hang around with a bunch of kids who study, you're
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: probably going to study. If you hang around with a
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: bunch of kids who play Fortnite, you're probably going to
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: play fortnite. If you hang around with a whole lot
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: of people who love to I don't know, go and
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: hang out at maccas and eat slushies and soft serves,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: then you're going to become that kind of person. You
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: literally become the average of the five people you spend
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: the most time with. So we wanted to have a
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: look at how kids are going with building healthy friendships.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Healthy friendships are key for both good times and bad
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: and research, unfortunately shows that loneliness is at an all
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: time high, and we know that kids are struggling to
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: make friends, perhaps now more than ever before.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Within our church community, I've spent the last couple of
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: years working with girls between the ages of twelve and eighteen,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: and a large percentage of them are all saying the
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: same things. They have no friends, they feel isolated, they
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: feel lonely. And yet what I'm seeing when I'm actually
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: in these group settings is predominantly kids who are on
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: their phone in spite of the fact that there's a
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: room full of people. They're looking down and as a result,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: oblivious to what's up, to what's going on around them,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: and who they might actually have a great friendship with
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: if they just took the time to get to know them.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: It never ceees it to amaze me that you can
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: be in a room of twenty or thirty people who
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: are all feeling lonely, isolated and want to make friends,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: but because you stare at your phone, you don't actually
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: get to make the relationship leap and don't get there.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: So here's what we did. Let's set the scene. First challenge.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: It was a version of speed dating, but for kids.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: What we wanted to find out was have the parents
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: help their children to build the interpersonal skills to make friends.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: In this challenge, each child will have five minutes to
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: make a new friend before the bell rings, and a
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: new interaction begins. We want to see if the kids
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: are comfortable using social conventions and are confident in new
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: social situations, because these skills are their first lines of
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: defense against negative peer pressure.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: My name is Zach, my name's Marshall.
• 6:24
  Speaker 7: Marshall's our most confident kid.
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: Do you have any hobbies or anything. Yeah, I like boxing.
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: I've had several fights.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Have you want, Ernie, Yeah, I think I've won four
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: fights and lost three.
• 6:36
  Speaker 8: That's pretty good.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:38
  Speaker 8: I think the active parenting style will help him out
• 6:41
  Speaker 8: with making new friends, building building confidence. Damie, it's nice
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: to meet you.
• 6:49
  Speaker 6: Next to meet you, you're gladly.
• 6:52
  Speaker 10: I think Rose is going to be a little bit nervous.
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: You're enduring the summer.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel a little bit nervous for her only twelfth.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: That she's quite capable.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I'm used to being with her.
• 7:07
  Speaker 8: Hello, Saxon, Yeah, that's nice to meet you. Amors.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, nice to meet you too.
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: And you started back to school? Yeah, well grade you went.
• 7:16
  Speaker 8: I'm a grade eight.
• 7:16
  Speaker 9: I'm a great I too.
• 7:17
  Speaker 10: Really.
• 7:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah you looked much short than me.
• 7:21
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you had like a great holidays?
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah it was it was good.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if I had to pick a friend out of
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: every and I met today, I will probably pick.
• 7:41
  Speaker 9: Saxon because I don't know.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I don't Oh, Nathan and Jim, you're in trouble, what
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: did you think of that?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So it's very cute.
• 7:56
  Speaker 9: It was a bit of flirting going on.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Nathan, you're a dada tools I'm a dad of six girls.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: When you see your daughter starting to show interest in
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: a boy, it does something to you, and it's really
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: tricky for dads to navigate their little girl growing up.
• 8:17
  Speaker 10: It's the first time I've kind of seen that, you know, ever,
• 8:21
  Speaker 10: and it's played back at you, and so it's kind
• 8:23
  Speaker 10: of a little bit of a well I know what
• 8:24
  Speaker 10: he's doing, and I know what's happening there.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean we've got a long way to
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: go before she's dating.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: It is happening, and you're just not told about it.
• 8:33
  Speaker 7: I was interested in boys, I remember of grade six.
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: I think Joanne might be a bit naive to think
• 8:40
  Speaker 7: that at thirteen years of age, where's he's not thinking
• 8:43
  Speaker 7: about boys?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: All right? So before we talk about Nathan and Joanne
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: and our traditional parents, I just want to highlight our
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: active parents. Nailed it. Amy and Mark, their son chatty, conversational, curious.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Love what he he was great. I just love what
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: he did. I really want to talk though about Nathan,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: dad to two daughters. Obviously I made the point that
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: we have six daughters, but this really resonated for me.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: We've got our girls going through all kinds of different
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: stages of being interested in boys. You're watching rosies flirting
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: with the little young man who was sitting opposite her
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: at the table. I mean, the flicking of the hair
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: and the big smiles and the laughter, and it was
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: just it was really delightful.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Why is it that a girl's positive behavior is seen
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: as flirting?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Oh? Come on, that was flirting. You can't tell me.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: She was smiling, she was flooding her eyes, she was
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: flicking her hair. She didn't do that with anyone else
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: that she spoke to. It was just that boy. That's
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: why it was seen as flirting. If she was doing
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: that with everyone, that'd be one thing, But she wasn't.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: What I want to ask you is, what do you
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: think that we've done in our family, or maybe even
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: what you've specifically done as a mum of six girls,
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: as our daughters have developed relationships and friendships with boys.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I grew up in a really strict home, quite very
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: traditional and with strong Christian values, and as a result,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: having a relationship with a boy any time before I
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: was thirty two was probably ridiculously taboo. So I couldn't
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: come home and tell my mum that there was a
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: cute guy in my class or anything like that. And
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: so that's something that I've really really focused on with
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: our girls. I want them to know that it's actually
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: completely normal for them to be interested, for them to
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: have eyes on, for them to you know, kind of
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: want to have these close relationships with boys. So for me,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: the biggest thing has been helping them to recognize that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: conversations around boys is not taboo. And then if we
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: extend on that, it's about having those tricky conversations with
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: them regularly and helping them to understand what age appropriate
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: relationships are with the opposite sex.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: There's an obs of that the protech parents made that
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: we do need to just tap into.
• 11:04
  Speaker 6: I think there's a risk of the traditional parents wrapping
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: their kids in cotton wool and not letting them experience
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: the real world.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: Their views are really outdated.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: So reflecting on that, justin what are three tips that
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: you would suggest to help navigate through the early stages
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: of puberty.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, when I think about this whole scenario,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: and we're going to get to more after the break.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: But for me, seeing children who are socially adept, they're
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: able to make an argument that they're a friend worth having,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: They're able to reach out and connect with other people,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I think I would say more time face to face,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: less time in front of screens. The more practice you
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: get at it, the better you get at it. People
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: don't want to meet people nowadays because it's too anxiety inducing,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and that really concerns me. I think though, that especially
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: with younger kids, there still has to be appropriate levels
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: of supervision, like organize the playdates, organized to get togethers,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: bring the kids over for a little bit of a
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: hangout on the back and provide the milkshakes and the
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: treats and have them swim in the pool, and facilitate
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: those kinds of get together opportunities where there is some
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: parental oversight. And last of all, I mean, you've already
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: talked about it with our kids, regular chats, just regular
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: conversations about what friendships are working and what friendships aren't
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: and how it feels to introduce yourself to the new
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: kid in class. It's not rocket science, but doing these
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: basic things gives the kids such an early advantage in
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: terms of being socially flexible, agile, and adept. After the break,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: a little bit more on how kids are doing when
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: it comes to meeting strangers and striking up friendships for
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: the first time. Okay, we're talking about the speed dating
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: how the kids go making friends and meeting new people.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: From episode two of Parental Guidance. Here's some more audio
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: from what happened in last night's conversations.
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: Nice to meet you.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: My name is Samuel, what's yours?
• 13:06
  Speaker 9: As upfront parents actually going out to meet new people.
• 13:09
  Speaker 9: I don't have any concerns about that. I know by
• 13:12
  Speaker 9: us being able to have conversations with our kids, it's
• 13:16
  Speaker 9: probably given them the confidence to then go and maybe
• 13:18
  Speaker 9: approach people and speak to them as well.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Do you have any hobbies.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I like to play football, basketball, I like to.
• 13:31
  Speaker 6: Play video games.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Nice I like to play video games as well.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I feel like every teenager does nowadays.
• 13:41
  Speaker 8: I'm not going to get addicted to gaming and stuff
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: like other people.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: Hey, that's your name, Archer, what's your name.
• 13:55
  Speaker 7: Do you play any sports?
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 13:58
  Speaker 8: Play basketball?
• 14:00
  Speaker 9: So said.
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: Hi, Hey, Hi, what's your name.
• 14:10
  Speaker 8: My name's Land and I'm Hugo. It's a good thanks,
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: nice to meet you.
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: There's protect parents. People often assume that because our kids
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: are on technology that they will turn into screen zombies.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: No, tracks are good.
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: We can see that they can be at home but
• 14:29
  Speaker 6: still socialized.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: I think online friends are better because you don't have
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: to see them all the time.
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: That's the real answer.
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: Do you play any games?
• 14:49
  Speaker 8: Yeah?
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: I play Fortnite? I played fourne as well.
• 14:52
  Speaker 6: Hu, what lovel are you?
• 14:53
  Speaker 9: I'm I don't really know.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Love Liam, but I'm over two hundred, over two hundred,
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: I'm only a hundred. Yeah, nice to meet you.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: What is your favorite thing to do with friends?
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: Probably play Fortnite?
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: I'd probably go shopping.
• 15:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah that's pretty good.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's have listen to some of the feedback from
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: the group around The tech savvy kids.
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: Like watching Land and kind of reminded me of myself
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: when I was young, I was hooked to the screens
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: of video games and I was very antisocial. I could
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: not hold conversations. You can see he wasn't comfortable being
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: in that like he's normally used to probably chating to
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: the people online, which to me is to us suggest
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: to your concern.
• 15:45
  Speaker 8: I think that's where the concerns of us who don't
• 15:47
  Speaker 8: do much screen time. We feel that that negatively affects
• 15:50
  Speaker 8: ability to form relationships and things like that. Exactly you
• 15:56
  Speaker 8: even mentioned, which I think is a bit of a
• 15:58
  Speaker 8: dangerous narrative. His online friends are better.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: It was a.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Panel appearance, had some really good observations, but I really
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: want to hone in on it. This idea, you know,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: watching the protect Sun's lack of eye contact. He couldn't
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: he couldn't hold a stare at all. But I think
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: the thing that really stood out to me was he
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: was really happy to answer the questions, but he had
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: no questions of his own. There was no curiosity, There
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: was no ability to maintain and to build on the
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: conversation that had been gifted him.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, those social skills are so important, unless, of course,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: the conversation was about Fortnite, Fortnite, Night Fortnite. Yep. If
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it was about Fortnite, he was pretty heavy to get
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: in there. I don't know where that came from. I'm
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: so sorry.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: So is there any evidence of a correlation between screen
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: time and meaningful relationships with the young people.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: So this is the thing that really annoys me about science.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: It takes a long time to get really good research happening,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and to do good quality studies to have them published
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: and disseminated is a process. So I have to preface
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: what I'm about to say with there's not a lot
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: of evidence. There's not a lot of solid evidence, and
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: the evidence that we do have does tend to point
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: generally in one direction, although it's still a little bit mixed. Basically,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: when screens are involved in a conversation, like if you
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and I are sitting here and there's a phone on
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: the table, we're typically going to rate our conversation partner
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: is less interested, less interesting, less empathic, and we're going
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: to say that the conversation was less enjoyable, Whereas if
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: there is no device on the table, we tend to
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: find people more enjoyable, more empathic, we find the conversation
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: more satisfying. There is some data, limited data that indicates
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: that compulsive screen users may be less socially adept, but
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I don't think that it's particularly strong at this point.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: My suspicion, my hypothesis is that this is a concern,
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: it is a problem, and we need to do the
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: stuff that we've talked about in this podcast to help
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: children to learn how to navigate social situations, reduce the anxiety,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: be curiate about one another, ask questions, and have fun
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: in social settings. We are ultrasocial as a species, and
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: it's bad for our species if we stop connecting.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: What are some suggestions or advice you would give to
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: parents specifically around helping their kids find a balance between
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: friendships in the real world and their online worlds.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd just say, I mean you and I know
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: this because we emphasize it so much in our home.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Minimize screens, encourage the kids to be outdoors with people,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: being active, and have a really good mix of both
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: structured and unstructured activities so that they're developing skills. They're
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: having enriching opportunities. They're getting coached in things that are
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: important to them like playing the drums or playing their
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: ball or whatever. But they're also being social and being
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: able to climb trees, ride bikes, god of the local park,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: do that kind of stuff. They need to have these
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: face to face experiences.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I just think this is all about intention as parents.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: We actually have to we actually have to be intentional
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: about providing opportunities for our kids. I look at the
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: relationships that our girls have, and the one thing that
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: really surprises me is we've got a handful of friends
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: that because of location, we haven't been able to spend
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: a lot of time with them at all. We might
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: catch up with them once every twelve months. But as
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: they've grown, they've actually gravitated to those relationships as they've
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: gotten older, because they've gotten in they've had shared experiences,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: and in spite of the fact that they haven't had
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: a mass amount of time together, they have been building
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: slowly a relationship that works.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: So that's about it for today. Tomorrow we're going to
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: focus on those conversations that you need to have with
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: your children about consent. This was one of my favorite
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: parts of last night's episode. A huge thank you to
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Justin rule On, our producer for our podcast, Justin Rolan
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer during
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: the Parential Guidance series. We appreciate his guidance and support
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: as well, and MM Hammond's provides all of our research
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: and admin support. I like more information and resources to
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: make your family happier, visit us at happy families dot
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: com dot au. We'll see you tomorrow.