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How to Live a Life That Doesn't Suck: 5 Strategies to Help You Live A Peaceful Life · Do Hard Things™ with Siegfried Tiegs

0:43
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back, everybody, to the Do Hard Things Podcast.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Siegfried J.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Teagues, aka Sig, and today's topic is how to live a life that doesn't suck.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to be sharing five strategies to help you build a peaceful life.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: These are strategies that I have personally implemented.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: It's tried and true.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: And I have been using these strategies with my clients, and it's working, and it can work for you.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: And look, life's kind of crazy right now.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Let's be real.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Life is feels very intense at the time of this recording.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, just recently we've got uh some interesting news with the uh breaking of the uh the Epstein vials, and then there's a there's a war in Iran, and just things just feel really, really heavy.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Things are super expensive.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: AI is being rolled out at a quick pace, everyone's on social media.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Like compared to, I'm I'm 48 years old at the time of this, and it just feels like the world is a completely different place than when I grew up, and it just continues to accelerate and it just feels heavy.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: And I know there's a lot of people out there that are hurting, they're confused, they're lost, they're distracted.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, today we're gonna help put a little space in that, put a little peace back in your life.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really, really important to do that.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so that's what we're gonna get into.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: But before we jump in, let's be uh let's be real.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: It's been a minute since my last recording.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it wasn't it wasn't by accident.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: I have personally needed some time to step back, to get clear, to make sure what I'm building and what I'm sharing actually matters.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: I cannot create episodes or any type of content that that isn't like real, that's not bullshit, for the lack of a better term.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of people that do, and I just simply can't do it.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: So I have been going through look, the military uh transition to a civilian world has been really, really a beautiful, messy thing in my life.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: And part of me stepping back was reducing the things that weren't serving me.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: And this podcast was a part of that because I was I was creating content and doing, I was just out of alignment.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: And so I've been doing some really, really deep work.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just not gonna create, I'm just not gonna create crap for y'all.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, people that mean so much that you would take the time to listen to this, and I'm not just gonna make content for the sake of making content like so many other people are doing, and it's just not in me.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: So I bottom line is I need some space, and I'm feeling called again to come back to the microphone and uh share.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: And I've been on an epic journey, and I'm gonna I'd like to share some of that with you.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: And so if you're listening to this, I'm just grateful that you're here, and it is my intent to speak from the heart and share with you things that are useful.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: The last thing that I would ever want to do is waste someone's time, and and so it means a lot that uh you're here listening.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: So for that, thank you.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: And I'll share more about the the things that I have been just epic life travel.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: I just recently took a group to uh Mount Kilmanjaro, and that was epic.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: I had my my last spring break with my kiddos who are seniors, and I've just been really living life and focusing on myself and growing in so many different ways.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: And I am yeah, I'm just really grateful, really grateful for this life.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And look, life is hard, life can be very messy, and I have been on this relentless pursuit of finding peace, peace in my own life.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: And so that's what this episode is about today.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: It's uh sharing with you five strategies to build a uh a peaceful life on purpose by design.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Some of the strategies that I've used and have uh uh have helped some clients use.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: I think peace is the ultimate currency, it's the ultimate prize.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: It's not money, it's not, I don't know, it's not the material things, it's about finding peace, whatever that is for you.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, so many people are feeling so incredibly busy, overwhelmed, they're feeling disconnected.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: And I think that is the opposite of peace.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: You know, I think peace is feeling grounded, clear, in control of the things that you can control and letting go of the things that you can't control, and especially in this chaotic world right now.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: So, so who am I?
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm Sigford JT's, aka Sig, founder of the Do Heart of Do Heart Things Coaching, which is our title sponsor.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Go to doarthingscoaching.com, or you can go to doarthingsnation.com.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: And we've got some merchandise over there.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: We've got our event calendars, and if you'd like to learn more about group and one-on-one coaching, go check those resources out and go grab yourself a copy of the book, Life on Offense.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, what I do is I help people who are feeling stuck or misaligned rebuild clarity, discipline, and purpose in their life through doing hard things so they can live a peaceful life.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: And so let me ask you this: have you ever had any of these challenges?
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've uh you've been incredibly successful at what you're doing, but you still don't feel peaceful.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you always feel like you're on, but you're never present, never fully present.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: You're there with the family, but you're kind of connected to the phone, or you're sitting there at the dinner table and your just thoughts are elsewhere.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: You're thinking about the past, or maybe you're thinking about the future, the thing that you got to do at work tomorrow, and you're just struggling to be fully present.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: Your mind just doesn't shut off.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: It's like a hamster wheel just spinning all the time.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel like you're chasing something, but you don't know what it is.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've built this life, but it doesn't feel like yours.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: You ever felt those things?
6:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe have you ever felt like you won the game, but maybe you lost yourself in the process?
6:52
SPEAKER_00: I have certainly felt that.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: And so I don't know.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, when I transitioned out of the military, you know, for me personally, everything changed.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: For 27 years of my life, I had a lot of structure.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: There was a rhythm, a mission, the team.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: Man, I really missed the people on the team.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: You knew where to be, you knew what mattered, you knew who had your back.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: Every day had a sense of like purpose and mission.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And every action had a reason.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Some of those reasons, I mean, if you've been in the military, we're just bullshit, but it's still, it was just part of the routine.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: You had something going on.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: And even on the hardest days, there was a sense of uh of clarity.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, you know, it was gone.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, when take the uniform off, it's it's it's gone.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Poof.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And I went from a world of like discipline, camaraderie, clear direction, a lot of pomp and and pageantry, his history and traditions.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: And I fell into what I like to call a zero gravity environment where there's no structure, no rhythm, no shared mission, just space.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: And at first that space felt incredibly freeing.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: There's no formations, no rigid schedule, constant pressure was was off.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: I could wake up when I wanted to, build my own day, choose my own path.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: And then I remembered, you know, this is what I worked so hard for.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: This is freedom.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: But after a while, that freedom started to feel really heavy.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: Because without the structure, I started drifting.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: I was slipping off my A game.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And without a clear mission, I started questioning, you know, a lot of things in life.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I here to do?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: What am I here to create?
8:36
SPEAKER_00: And without a team around me, things got really quiet.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, don't get me wrong.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: I love the freedom, I love peace, I love being home, I love the ability to build something, you know, of my own doing.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: But I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't miss the sense of purpose, the brotherhood, the pride, the traditions.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: And I missed being part of something bigger than myself.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: I missed the shared suffering, you know, the kind that really bonds you.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: I miss knowing what I did today actually mattered to someone else.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, what caught me off guard was kind of what what came next.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: I found myself filling the space.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Stayed busy chasing gold, started, you know, building a business.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: I was working with a team, but they weren't the right team.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: And from the outside, it, you know, it seemed like I was doing everything right, but internally something was was off.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: Found myself really busy, but not fulfilled.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: I was moving and doing things, but not grounded.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: I was achieving, but it wasn't aligned.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: And so I went from you know, military structure to the chaos of civilian life, you know, high achievement to lack of alignments, constant movement, but no rhythm, doing all the things, but still feeling off.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: And that was the hardest part.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, because there was no, there was no mission briefs, there was no commander giving directions, no clear next step, just me trying to figure it out.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: And I started asking myself questions I didn't have the answer to.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: It's like, what am I actually building here?
10:15
SPEAKER_00: What am I really doing?
10:16
SPEAKER_00: Who am I without the uniform?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: And what is success now?
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that even mean?
10:22
SPEAKER_00: In the military, you know, my identity was pretty clear, but out here you have to create it.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's where I've been struggling, you know, I was chasing progress but avoiding stillness.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: I was filling my schedule with a bunch of things, but not creating anything meaningful.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: I was doing more, but feeling less.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I had to face the hard truth that all the movement, all the noise, all the doing of the things, it wasn't bringing me peace.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: It was keeping me distracted, and I was doing things to kind of continue to numb out.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Alcohol, distraction, doom scrolling.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And I realized that I wasn't at peace.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: I was just distracted and uh and numb.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: I was distracted and numb, like so many people find themselves.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: So been rolling up my sleeves, been getting to work, been uh connected in some deep coaching groups, men's groups, doing some therapy, got involved in breath work, focusing on stillness, getting control of my nervous system.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: I uh did some psychedelic therapy.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: I did, you know, focused on having some adventures and uh going on some adventures and a lot of self-reflection, journaling, cold plunging.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just being connected with some really good people, letting go of constantly trying to prove something.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: And what I've really truly learned is how to be at peace.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: Peace isn't something you find, it's not like this where's Waldo, you know, search.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: It's something that you build, it's inside of you.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: And I spent so much of my life like searching for peace.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna find peace by doing this or buying that.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't work that way.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: It's something that you have to build.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: And the more that I've been still and focused internally and connected to my spirit and connected to God, the more peace I've had.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: And what I have found in my life is that I'm more grounded, more grounded as a father with my children, I'm more present with my wife Lacey, having more clarity on my mission, having better outcomes with my clients, deeper connections with others, and just living a really cool life.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: And it's been awesome.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, I just I stopped trying to figure it out, to stop chasing, and I just started to create space to feel again and to slow down and to look inward.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: And it's been instead of adding more, I started subtracting, just slowing down more.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's when things really began to shift.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: It didn't happen all at once.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: There wasn't like a big breakthrough moment.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: It was pretty subtle, pretty quiet, and it's taking some time, but it was real.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And I started getting out of my normal environment by stepping into, you know, rooms with other people that were different for me, other high-performing men, stepping into some retreat work, being open-minded to doing and trying new things.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: And I put myself in places where I couldn't hide behind the routine.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't find myself in distraction or focus on productivity.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: All those things are forms of escapism, throwing myself into work.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: And by slowing down and getting away from the noise, getting away from the constant inputs, giving myself permission to just be without a title, without a role, without any expectations, just me.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: It's uncomfortable at first.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Wasn't used to it.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: Because when you take all of those things away, you're left with what's underneath.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: The thoughts you've been avoiding, the emotions you've been pushing down, the questions you don't have answers to, but that's where the clarity is.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: That's when things started to open up for me.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: And that led me to deeper work, like breath work and journaling, and that led to more stillness.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about sitting quietly for just a few minutes.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about like some intentional stillness.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Where everything is stripped away.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: The kind that forces you to just really be with yourself without any form of distraction.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Be comfortable with not doing anything.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of counter to the brand.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Do hard things.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: We've got to do all the things.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Man, the evolution has been sometimes just being raw and being still, that is the hardest of things.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: When you can actually feel your feelings and emotions, when you can slow down and process what you've been carrying, when you can breathe through the tension inside of you instead of escaping it.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: I've spent I've spent years of my life training my mind and my body running and cycling and doing all these things, which I absolutely love.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: But it's a for it's a form of escapism.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: It's a form of avoidance.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: And I see it now when I'm out there with endurance athletes.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: Like people are running away from their demons.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: Like David Goggins, like just running away from all the demons and inspiring everyone else to do the same thing.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: After a while, it's like, man, I'm so tired.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: I just, and I'm still feeling like unnerved.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: And I realized something in this moment that I'd spent years training my body and training my mind to run, but I never trained myself to be still.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: And in doing so, that changed everything.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: Because in the stillness, I started hearing myself again.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: I started connecting with myself again.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: Not the noise, not the expectations of others or the outside voices, just me.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, I've also leaned into something that's always been a part of who I am: just adventure, having epic adventures, seeing this amazing world, connecting with amazing people, pushing myself physically, getting back into the mountains, like you know, going to Hike Machu Picchu and Kilimanjaro.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't about proving anything.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: That's what I love about these mountains.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: It's like there's no, you know, a lot of things they've done is racing.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: You're trying to beat a time or something, but these long efforts where you're out there for days at a time, one foot in front of the other.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: The finish line is just getting to the top and then back down again.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't about proving anything, about competing or validation.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: It was just about connection.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: Connection to myself, connection to nature, connection to God, connection to the people that I'm out there climbing with.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Man, these these trips were were epic.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: And instead of running from myself, I started running into myself.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's changed my experience on this planet entirely.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: The biggest shift that I've experienced is starting to let go of the need to constantly prove myself.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: Because for a long time everything I did was driven by that.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Proving I was still capable, proving I still mattered, proving I hadn't lost my edge, proving I could still do it.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: All that pressure of carrying that, man, this stuff is heavy.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: Even when it looks like motivation, it's heavy.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And it keeps you chasing, it keeps you restless, it keeps you from ever feeling like you have arrived.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: And I had to ask myself some tough questions.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, who am I if I'm not trying to prove anything?
18:15
SPEAKER_00: What what would I do if if I was already enough?
18:21
SPEAKER_00: Peace doesn't come from proving anything to anyone else.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: Peace doesn't come from proving anything.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: It comes from alignment, from knowing who you are, what actually matters.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: And making decisions from that place.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Not from pressure or expectations of others or fear.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: Alignment.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: And that's when things really click for me.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Peace isn't something you find, it's something you build.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, my life as it has become quieter has changed.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm far more peaceful now.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: And so the old world of thinking, peace comes after success, and that puts you on the treadmill of always chasing.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: You can grind now and live later.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: If you're busy, that means you're important.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And hustle becomes part of your identity.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of influence out there, influencers out there really promoting this stuff.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: But I think my my new way of thinking, what I would call the new world way of thinking, is peace is the foundation, not the reward.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: You build life intentionally.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Stillness is a powerful, powerful weapon tool.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: And alignment is greater than any achievement.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: So most people are out there trying to earn peace instead of designing it for themselves.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: And so maybe you're listening to me and you're thinking, you know what?
19:51
SPEAKER_00: That's me.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: I feel that, man.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: I've I'm there now.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Well, peace isn't accidental.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: It's not something you stumble into.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: It's built.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: And it's built through what I call the five pillars of a peaceful life that I'm going to share with you today.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: So, first pillar, number one, you got to eliminate the noise.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: This is where it all starts.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: Most people aren't lacking peace.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: They're drowning it out with all of the noise, constant input, constant distraction, constant noise.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: We weren't designed to carry this old device around and get be plugged in all the time, taking in in real time the world news and the horrible things that are happening all the time.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: Then all the marketing and then trying to keep up with the Joneses on social media.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: So social media, news, negative people, all the obligations you've overextended yourself to that you said yes to that you shouldn't have.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Look, you don't need any more information.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: You just need less interference.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: And peace begins where the noise ends.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: And so you got to ask yourself, what in my life is loud but not valuable?
20:58
SPEAKER_00: I really want you to think about that.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: What are the things that you're consuming?
21:02
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you drove your car across town the grocery store without any inputs?
21:07
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you went for a walk or a run or worked out without any inputs?
21:12
SPEAKER_00: When did you just sit in silence and peace?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Just simply breathe.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: Because that is where peace is.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: Having the discipline to cut out the inputs.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: Give yourself some to eliminate the noise.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: You're drowning it out.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: So that's pillar number one.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: Eliminate the noise.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: Number two, create the structure that serves you.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Freedom without structure is chaos.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: And I learned that the hard way.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: Not so rigid, not restrictive, just intentional.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: A morning routine that anchors your day, training that strengthens your mind and your body, and time built for reflection, not just reaction.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, through through journaling, but once again, finding that that stillness, monitoring my inputs.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: So having a structure, bookending the day, controlling the controllables.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: But when you wake up in chaos, or you go to bed at the end of the day in chaos, you don't sleep well, you wake up, you just log into your TikTok and check the news first thing in the morning.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: That structure doesn't serve you.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: And so when you build your own structure, you can take your power back.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Number three, try.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: Train your mind and nervous system daily.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Your mind, if you leave it untrained, will run you crazy.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: Your mind can be a terrorist.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: It'll pull you into stress and anxiety and distraction.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: So you got to train it.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: And this has been the breakthrough because I have been someone that's that has really tried and tried meditation.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: And it took me a really long time to really get a handle on it where I could do it.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: But I wish I would have known about breath work and the power of that.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: Meditation is good for the mind, but if your nervous system is jacked, then your mind can't slow down.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: So it's the combination of breath work and meditation that has been the absolute game changer.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: In fact, I ultimately got certified in it and I teach it now.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: And it's changed everything.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And this isn't an occasional thing or when things get bad, this is a daily practice.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: Breath work regulates your nervous system.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: You can activate your parasympathetic nervous system and get into fight or flight, or you can downregulate your sympathetic nervous system and get into rest and digest.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: And that's a superpower when you can do that.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: So when you're tired, you can amp up.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: And then when you're feeling like anxious and just like your head spinning, you can downregulate and get into a meditation.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Journaling, there's something magical about putting your thumb and your index finger together with a pencil or a pen and simply writing journaling to clear your thoughts.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: Just open up your journal every day and just dump your thoughts on a piece of paper will really, really clear your mind.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: And then finding that silence to reconnect with yourself.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: So if you can't sit with yourself, you're always going to try to escape yourself.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: Ask me how I know.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: And that's the opposite of peace, right?
24:32
SPEAKER_00: So number three, train your mind and nervous system daily.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: Pillar number four, build a life you don't want to escape from.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: This one hits hard.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: I felt like many of my years of my life of trying to escape from it.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: Can't wait till the next vacation.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to go escape here.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are building lives that they constantly need a break from.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: That sucks.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: They live for the weekend.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: They escape through alcohol, Netflix, scrolling, distractions, TikTok.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: That's not peace.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: Might feel good in the moment, but that's ultimately avoidance.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: So instead, build a life that you actually want to live.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: Do the work that matters to you.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Surround yourself with people that energize you, not drain you.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Create experiences, adventures, challenges that make you feel alive.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Fulfillment comes from three things: doing the things that make you feel alive, meaningful pursuits, doing hard things, and then connections and relationships of people that energize you, not drain you.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: Because when your life is aligned, you don't need to escape it.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Don't need to escape it.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: So that's really powerful.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: And pillar number five, make decisions from alignment, not pressure.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: People are living very reactive lives.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: And they say yes out of obligation.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: They don't have the courage to say no.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: And they make decisions out of fear and they follow paths that they never chose.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: There's external pressure to meet someone, your parents' expectations, or maybe this is the culture at work and this is what we do.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: And you end up climbing mountains and doing things in your life that you don't necessarily want to do.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: I expect like I have this geological engineering master's degree that was just kind of expected that you're going to get one.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: I look back at that, I'm like, that was a waste of time and effort.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I like rocks and stuff, and I like, I mean, it's giving me a greater appreciation rather climbing a mountain.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: But that was a lot of time and effort and energy and something I didn't really need to do.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: It was just the cultural expectation that I had to meet.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: And so that was a path that I just found myself on.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: And looking back, I'm like, well, that was dumb.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: It's a waste of time.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: So when you're doing things out of obligation, it creates tension, it creates resentment, destroys your peace.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: So instead, slow down, stop reacting, start choosing by doing things you want to do, and ask yourself: is this aligned with who I am?
27:02
SPEAKER_00: Is this aligned with what I want to build?
27:06
SPEAKER_00: And if it's not, have the courage to say no.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Because every misaligned yes, it costs you peace.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: Cost you peace.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: And so let's recap the five pillars.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: First one, eliminate the noise.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: Watch your inputs.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: Create structures that serve you.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: It's about creating the day, bookending the day.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Train your mind and nervous system daily.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: Build a life you don't want to escape from.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Make decisions from alignment, not pressure.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: So look, none of this is complicated earth-shattering knowledge, common sense, but common sense isn't always common practice.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: But even though it's not complicated, it doesn't mean it's not easy.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Because building a peaceful life requires intention.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: But if you can commit to these five pillars, you stop chasing peace and you become someone who lives it.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: And that's really, really important.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: So here's some common pitfalls that will derail you or pull you off the path.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Waiting for life to slow down in a season of life where everything is busy.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: Waiting for life to slow down.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: That's a bold move, Cotton.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Let's see how that one works out for you.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Escaping and numbing instead of addressing.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are escaping or numbing instead of having the awareness or the tough conversation, or maybe the deep self-reflection.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: You know there's something in your life that you know you need to stop doing that it's taking away.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: It's costing you.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're confusing comfort with peace.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: Confusing comfort with peace.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: Great book, Comfort Crisis.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Man, in our society where we have everything at our fingertips, it is eroding our peace.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Because everything is so comfortable.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: Overloading your schedule.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: We don't realize how busy we are.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Wake up in the morning, you're running the kids around, you got to get to work, you gotta do all the things, get home, you get all the, you know, all the chores around the house, taking care of the kids, doing those things, and just yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: Just constantly on the go.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: No time for yourself.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: Do we really need to be doing all these things?
29:28
SPEAKER_00: Engaging in time-wasting activities like doom scrolling and paying attention to social media.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: It's social media is a fucking lie.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just there's so much bullshit out there.
29:38
SPEAKER_00: It's a trap, it's distorting your reality and eroding your peace.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: You're you're comparing yourself to everyone's best foot forward.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: It's not fair.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: It's not accurate, it's not right, and you're beating yourself up for it.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: And so, what you got to do every day is create space for yourself, say no more often, protect your energy like it's your job because it is.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: Build before you burn out.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: Peace is not something that is passive, it's something that has to be protected.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: So here is your, if this if this message has resonated with you, here's the first thing I'm gonna challenge you to do.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: Do hard things.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: You gotta take action.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: These, you know, this is what I tell my coaching clients.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: You can hop on the coaching call, you can listen to it.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: This can motivate you and pump you up, but it doesn't matter if there's no action.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: So here's the first thing I want you to do after this episode tonight.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: I want you to sit in silence for 10 minutes.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: No phone, no music, no distractions.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: Get some pen and paper.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna invite you to do some box breathing for 10 minutes.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: What is a box breathing?
30:47
SPEAKER_00: Think of four corners of a box.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Simply want you to inhale through the nose for four seconds.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: Inhale, two, three, four, hold your breath.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: Hold the inhale, two, three, four.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: Exhale, two, three, four.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: Hold, two, three, four.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: Keep repeating that.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: Inhale, hold, exhale, hold.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: That makes a box, four corners of a box.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: For ten minutes, notice how you feel.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, down, you're gonna activate your parasympathetic nervous system.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: When you have a thought, I want you to note it and let it float away.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: First five minutes might be really tough.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: You're you're taking it's like a locomotive.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: Your brain's like a locomotive, it's gonna take you about five minutes to stop.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: A train doesn't stop on a dime, it takes a few minutes.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: Your brain is the same way.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: I want you to breathe so you can calm down your nervous system.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: Note your thoughts.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: Ten minutes, you're gonna be in a peaceful state.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Your brainways are gonna change.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to simply journal for a few minutes your thoughts.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: Anything that's on your mind, just brain dump it.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: And then there's three questions.
31:54
SPEAKER_00: What is draining you?
31:56
SPEAKER_00: What needs to go?
31:58
SPEAKER_00: What needs to be subtracted?
32:00
SPEAKER_00: And what do I actually want?
32:03
SPEAKER_00: What do I want?
32:05
SPEAKER_00: Not what does someone want for me, not what I should do.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: What do I want?
32:12
SPEAKER_00: And that's a great start.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: If you want, if you're ready to build a peaceful life on purpose, not by accident, come join us inside the Do Our Things Nation.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: This is what we do.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: Go to do our thingscoaching.com if you'd like to learn more about doing some deep work.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: And uh look, you don't need a new life, you just need to take control of the one you already have.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Peace isn't found at the end of the road, it's billed step by step on purpose.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: These five pillars, they're simple, but they're not easy.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: And that's all I got for you today.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: If you've if you've appreciated this session, I would love to hear from you.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: What resonated with you?
32:55
SPEAKER_00: What yeah, what uh what did you appreciate?
32:58
SPEAKER_00: What action did you take?
32:59
SPEAKER_00: What did you get from the journal?
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Feel free to reach out to me.
33:02
SPEAKER_00: You can reach me at SIG SIG at dohardthingsnation.com.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: And if I can serve you any in any way, feel free to uh to reach out.
33:11
SPEAKER_00: And so it's great to be back behind the microphone.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: And I've got a few things on my heart to say, so there'll be some more episodes coming your way soon.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: And uh, in the meantime, keep doing hard things.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: I wish you peace, power, and just an epic life.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: And we were designed to do more than work and pay bills.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: We were designed to be connected to others, to create, to have those meaningful pursuits, to do things that matter.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's what doing hard things is all about.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: So, in the meantime, be good, as my mom would say.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: Make good choices, and we will see you guys in the next episode.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: Peace.