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Teachers Insights on the Journey to Becoming a Parent and Connecting with Our Kids with Joanne Homestead · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: kids behave differently in different environments.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: They behave differently at school with me and classmates versus at home with their parents.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Where they feel like really safe to be themselves and that's something that I have seen for my son is the difference in behavior at school versus at home.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, for sure I.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: There were pieces that we would talk to teachers about with our kids and say you know, our kiddo may seem like everything is steady for them at school.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: They're here, they're smiling, they're talking to people, but because of this piece of them, that the sensitivity piece for them, it can be really draining to maintain that and it can be referred to as masking, it can be referred to as being an empath.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of different pieces that could be playing into this for different people, but I would always tell teachers I like to voice that piece is my kids are sensitive, they are very big rule followers and they have a little bit of a perfectionist piece to them.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So, yes, they're sitting in the right spot, yes, they're raising their hand to speak.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Maybe they're toning things down, but it can be really draining to them.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: So getting movement in, getting sensory breaks, not stressing perfection, is a huge one that I had to talk to when we were in a traditional school setting.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: So do you feel like there's a point where you're ready to go talk to a teacher or any of those?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: pieces?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: That's a great question.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do feel there will be time to be able to do that, and yeah, I totally see that same thing for our son.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Heart to Heart Parents.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Let's connect with our kids and learn together.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I'm Keri.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: I was a former teacher and speech therapist.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I'm also a parent of two spirited, gifted, highly sensitive kids.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I was quickly brought to my knees as a parent when I thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting just as they present on Instagram.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting just as they present on Instagram.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: But I quickly learned that's not real life.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I will provide real life experiences and transform them into moments for connections and change for you to use in your house.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Hi there, conscious parents.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Before we start today's episode, it's Keri here and I wanted to reach out to ask you guys for a quick favor.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: As a follower of our show, we would love for you to give us a five-star rating and leave us a review.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: It can be just a few words, that's it, and it really goes a long way with us with the podcasting community on Apple or Spotify.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: So thanks so much for tuning in and I'm so excited for you to hear today's message.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Happy listening.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Even teachers are brought to their knees when they have children.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: It's a completely different experience when we have children from when we're teaching in the classroom, when we become that parent, we have these pieces that bubble up inside of us.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: We have this new little tiny person that we are emotionally completely involved with, and it can be hard to hear our hearts.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: So today I have a wonderful guest.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: We're talking about when we were formerly teachers, as we became parents, as we started to realize that our children were highly sensitive kiddos, and the training that we did not receive as teachers transitioning into parents and what that was like to raise these highly sensitive kids, how we had to really dive into helping our children socially and emotionally.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I have Joanne Homestead, who's an expert email copywriter, holistic copy coach and obsessed storyteller with over 15 years of experience creating captivating and aligned messaging as a master teacher.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I love this piece of you, joanne, because I feel like you are such a fabulous communicator in so many different forms in more ways than one, so spoken and written, I just love your communication pieces.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I love being here.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I have, as I said to you, been listening to your podcast and I just absolutely love it and it has really made my parenting journey less lonely.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I just it's been so good.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: So, thank you, I'm so happy to be here.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much, joanne.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I love hearing things like that.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: If I can connect with one other parent, it feels job well done.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: So, joanne, you had a teaching background just like me, and recently I was listening to a podcast that I was on and we were talking about some of our teaching strategies and how they carry over into our parenting.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: It feels like there's this highly sensitive piece that we're learning so much about.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like we were given a good background for this when we went through our teaching experience?
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on this?
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, we not prepared.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Just for some background.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I got my bachelor's degree in childhood education, so that was to be able to get the K-6 teacher certification.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You go through the childhood developmental courses, education, pedagogy, all that stuff and you come out of it.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: You take the exams, you got your license, you've done your student teaching and you get into the classroom and then it's what did I just, what did I gain from all that education and even the student teaching?
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: You just get thrown in and we really like learning as you go.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: That is.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: That is how that's how it goes.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You're learning as you go, learning as you go.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: And one of the pieces that that is really not brought up at all is that social emotional piece about how, like the whole mindfulness, about all of that.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: That was not even okay.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: So I got my bachelor's degree back in the early two thousands.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: It's been a long time.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: That would get the terminology.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: That lingo was not there at all.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: There was a social emotional piece there is, but definitely was not a focus.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: We did not get a training in that.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: I love thinking about that so much.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I think we had a very small amount of social, emotional, which is a huge piece of child development and a huge piece of pieces that we need to be thinking about in their school.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: We we received some behavioral management.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: We had a course on that and it was all very traditional.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Did you have that as well?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, definitely behavior management and yeah, very traditional, and yeah, that was about it.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I felt like I got my first dip in I'm going to say quote unquote training in like the social, emotional piece, and then mindfulness and also like executive functioning for kids in the classroom when I was teaching second grade, and that was I'm trying to remember how many years that was now, say like 10, 10 years ago from now.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: And our school had adopted a new curriculum, for it was called.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: It's called second steps and they had it for each grade level, so built on each grade level, and you teach it once, once a week, for it's like 30 minutes, and so I really loved that having that curriculum.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: It was really, it was age appropriate.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I felt like the activities and the exercises and they had little stories and role-playing and little videos and songs to go with each one.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: And that was my first introduction to more of a formal quote unquote.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I'm saying training, because they never trained us, they just gave us the curriculum, which is what happens a lot of times as a teacher.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Here's your new curriculum.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and you implement that.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Just go ahead.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I just started using it and I really loved it and since then I've hopped around to different school districts and schools and have found more, I feel like more formal, social, emotional curriculum.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: It's just.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's just, it's gaining momentum, but it's still something that's almost just just once a week, just like a little 30 minutes right here, and I think a big part of that is implementing it in the classroom every day.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, you have this, you have the lesson you do, the role playing.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: You discuss and talk and you practice.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: But then, okay, now we are in like real life here.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: How is this going to play out?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's a piece where there could be maybe more training for teachers on okay, how, now, how do you really like implement this in the classroom, for for different kids it's might need a little different approach.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: So that's my experience with the social emotional piece in teaching and how it's evolved over the years.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I like to see that they are making some progress.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: It sounds like it might be small steps, but it's nice to see some progress.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: I myself, when I had my kids, I started looking into Montessori and Waldorf and I started to teach myself a lot of those pieces drawn to both of them having these social emotional pieces, these mindset pieces, mindfulness trainings for some of the kids and I loved that.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I started following a lot of people on Instagram and trying to learn more about those areas and even, like with Montessori, it had some pieces of the child feeling empowered and strong and being at an equal level with grownups, instead of saying, here's your giant person chair, here's your giant person plate, that's really heavy.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Or belittling kids or letting kids feel small in these big situations that are only tailored for adults.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: So I loved that piece and I started to teach myself that piece and thinking about the highly sensitive person I started to think about oh, if I read that book as well during that same era for myself, I started to understand my kids as being highly sensitive.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, this makes a lot of sense, did you?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Was there a point when you felt like that might have been introduced to you in your life?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: yeah, so to talk about the resources out there like you're talking about, like Montessori, waldorf, for me it was like the second steps curriculum that was made specifically for classrooms and teachers.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: But also BrainWise is another one that I think started locally in Denver.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: That is also.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: It was a really great resource that they use in the Jefferson County School District.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: But they talk about wizard brain and lizard brain and I just love the different kinds of creative lingo that people come up with to help teach it to kids, to help them understand.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: But also even for myself, I've learned.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have learned as an adult, because I did not get that as a child growing up.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, that makes so much sense about the wizard brain and the lizard brain, or thinking about, like how calming down looks like with your five fingers, like showing it visually.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow, that makes so much sense to me.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: So I have learned a lot for myself as an adult, for me, having my son, who is highly sensitive, we just it was almost something we could just tell from like day one when he was born.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: There was something that we could tell like sensory wise.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Just, he's a very big internal processor.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: He will observe, he'll just watch and observe and he likes to be like the pandemic for him was like the best time.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Six feet away was like the ideal distance for him.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: He just like his bubble, his personal bubble is very big For us.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: It was when I had read the book Quiet and it is a book for adults about introverts in an extrovert society and I can't remember the author's name I think it's Anne, but I can't even say it Anne.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: So that was where she talks about the highly sensitive person and does like the highly sensitive child in that book and talks about the research and it was really fascinating.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And then she had at the end she references highly sensitive person and highly sensitive child books and so that was like my first dip in and I believe that I read that book right when my first son was born and that kind of gave me little bits and pieces.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: And then when he started preschool really part-time when he turned three and a half, that's when one of our preschool teachers after a month she came up to us and said oh, I wonder if you've heard of the highly sensitive child book, have you, have you read it?
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Or anything like that.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: And that was like such a relief for my husband and I because we didn't want to say anything to the teachers because there's, I feel like there's just a lot around.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: There's just a lot around like feeling, oh, I don't want to look like the parent was, like the helicopter parent or like controlling parent, but we know our child and we know how he's going to respond to these like new environments.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: But we didn't want to say things.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: We're like we don't want to sound like the parent to be like all over the teachers, as a teacher myself, okay, so when she brought that up to us, that was like like a big.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: That was a big moment for us because we hadn't said anything, and so for her to say that was like confirmation for us yeah, okay, it's not just, it's not just us as the parents, we're just making things up and just being like no, just let your child, just let your child go and do those things they can do it like, and we're like no, he, and so we said to her thank you so much for bringing that up.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: We feel like this is something that is definitely.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: We feel like we're saying so.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: We did get the book and we read it and it really was really such a relief for us.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're not just making some new stuff, check, check, yes, all these things Like we felt like we could really resonate with that book.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Yes and yes, you're still there, and so that was really our start off to the journey for us.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: And isn't that interesting that as parents we have this feeling like I had a feeling my kiddo was gifted and talented.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: But I didn't want to be the mom tooting her horn, knocking on the GNT door like, hey, my kid's gifted, can you put him in the gifted classes?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to be that annoying mom.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Or I thought in my mind like, is he really gifted?
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Am I making my child this big person in my mind?
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Do I have a chip on my shoulder?
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: And even as specialists we both taught in that field and we took the child development classes we know where the small median of what normal education would look like.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: We know where our kids fit, but we still have to have that confirmation from someone else to say, oh yeah, they're gifted.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're a sensitive kiddo.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: It's interesting that our minds are there and we're thinking that, but we're still needing that person to tell us from outside yeah, it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I think it is a piece of that not wanting to feel judged.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: We don't want to be judged for.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't want to be that parent.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally I don't want to be that parent as a teacher.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, I see it from the teacher perspective and now I can really see it from the parent perspective and it really is such a different.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: It's a really different experience coming from the perspective and, as a teacher, I felt like I always wanted to respect the parents coming to me, what concerns they have, what are they seeing?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I really wanted to respect that because I'm like, yeah, you know them because you spend all your time with them, you raise them, and so I think that's always like great information to have on my side, because I see them in the classroom and, yeah, we spend all day in the classroom together, but it's different when they're at home and kids behave differently in different environments.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: They behave differently at school with me and classmates versus at home with their parents, where they feel like really safe to be themselves and that's something that I have seen for my son is the difference in behavior at school versus at home.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Yes, for sure I.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: There were pieces that we would talk to teachers about with our kids and say you know, our kiddo may seem like everything is steady for them at school.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: They're here, they're smiling, they're talking to people, but because of this piece of them, that the sensitivity piece for them, it can be really draining to maintain that and it can be referred to as masking, it can be referred to as being an empath.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of different pieces that could be playing into this for different people, but I would always tell teachers I like to voice that piece, as my kids are sensitive, they are very big rule followers and they have a little bit of a perfectionist piece to them.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So, yes, they're sitting in the right spot, yes, they're raising their hand to speak.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Maybe they're toning things down, but it can be really draining to them.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: So getting movement in, getting sensory breaks, not stressing perfection, is a huge one that I had to talk to when we were in a traditional school setting.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: So do you feel like there's a point where you're ready to go talk to a teacher or any of those?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: pieces.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do feel there will be the time to be able to do that and yeah, I totally see that same thing where our son is.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: He will follow all the rules.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: He's got a smile, he'll talk, he'll do the thing.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: But it takes a lot out of him.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: And that's just coming from the experience of three years in preschool, where the first year he was there just in the mornings two days a week.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: The second year three days a week in the morning and the third year, which was just last year, was five days a week afternoon.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: So not like full days, but five days a week.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Wow, and I could really see how it's.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: It strains him to be able to be able to keep that up in that environment.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: And now that he's starting kindergarten and now he's in full-time, kindergarten that's something that my husband and I have really been preparing him for this summer, and it's something that we don't share a whole lot because, again, like the judgment, will be like, really, it's just kindergarten, he's going to be fine, and we're like, no, we really need to.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: We know him, we need to prepare him for this and we had a really great.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I had a really great successful transition in this week but I also cleared my schedule for this week.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: It's emotional space for us because it really has come a long way since starting preschool, and also for him to be able to regulate himself again and feel like, okay, now he feels I don't know some like energy released or something like that.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just that one-on-one is such a great connection tool after school.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: And even if the kiddo is prepared to go in, I still feel like even my kiddo going into third grade it's still a little bit of a shock on their train, on their systems, like they're getting up earlier, they're having to move a little faster.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Even if they were in camp, you're still transitioning into a new classroom, new, new group of students, new teacher.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Even if you had in our school, they have the same teacher for two years in a row.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: That is still a transition from being home with mom or being at a camp with lots of kids.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: It's a change no matter what.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: So for our sensitive kids there's always that time.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: It takes a couple of weeks to just give extra love, give the extra time, give extra hugs, to just give extra love, give extra time, give extra hugs.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: And I love that one-on-one.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: If you have two kiddos having one spouse take one kiddo and you take the other kiddo and they just get to be themselves with you.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: They don't have to make any accommodations for brother or sister.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: I love that piece, or even a lot of the activities in our area.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like this area is very heavy in their activities.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I was at six o'clock trying to get into woodworking with my husband the other day for our son, like where is the other parents?
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: We need to get this class On your mark, get set, go.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: And he was on one computer, I was on the other trying to each get the kid in for the same class, like it was very complicated.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: But okay, hon, this is for the September class.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: We're going to let the kids transition in, even if the classes start this week.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: We're probably going to skip this week, the first week of school.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: The second week of school even I'm going to be reading my kid, I'm not going to be over signing them up in, like the current culture of America, american families, right.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Over signing up our kids.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, a lot of it.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: We talked with a lot of our neighbors and they always ask us like, oh, was our son doing soccer or this or that?
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: And we're like, no, none of it, because it just needs to be so gradual for him to be able to get to that point to be able to go and do those things.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: He has, the activities, activities.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: So that was actually something that we had to keep in mind was last year he was also signed up to go to Chinese language school, which is down the.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: We can walk there in a minute or two, but it's on Sundays, and so I did not sign him up for this semester because we already know, like, full-time kindergarten for him is really just going to focus on that and then really make sure we get that one-to-one connection.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he has a younger brother.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Well, how parents do it when they have more than two kids, parents do it when they have more than two kids.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know how that works.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: So we have the two and so we can.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: He can be with one, I can be with the other, and then he can really get that one-on-one time that he needs.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: That really is.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: That's our number one strategy is if there's a lot going on and we know he's going to be drained from that one-on-one time like really have to schedule it in.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: This is not like a little like afterthought yeah, I love that and I'm glad you gave the example when you have more than two, because I was just giving my example that's a good point and also reading them in the day-to-day too.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: My daughter had her first day yesterday and she was the child who did not want to go to school.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: She was very sad about going back.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: She kept saying I want to stay home with mom.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: But I also know this is my triple Aries daughter who is a fire sign.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you follow signs at all, but she is spicy and it is amazing and I love it and she's born in the right era, era to be spicy.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: So I knew I kept telling her if you stayed home with mom, you would get bored by 12 PM.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Plus mom would be passed out at 12 PM because you're exhausting sometimes with your energy trying to keep you going.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: So my mama heart was really having a hard time yesterday dropping her off at school.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like what is?
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: It's a new teacher this year, a brand new teacher to the school.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know her.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I was very nervous and she came home.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: She was very happy, just happy as heck, and I had not ever seen her like that after school in her previous years.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: This is a kid who was at home during the pandemic with the four people, loved being at home, really connected, and had a hard time going out to the zoo, going out to places where other people were when we started going back out.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: So seeing that happiness was amazing and my husband was like, yes, this is great, we can do these things with her.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: We'll do some.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: We'll do some play time.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: And then she just crashed at the end of the night.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: So it's just following our kids minute by minute and checking in and seeing like how are they doing?
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Is the crash coming today?
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: It comes second week If it hasn't come the first week there's going to be a crash.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's going to be a crash.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what we have in our minds too, like when it's going to happen.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: When is it going to happen and how can we fully prepare ourselves?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: As much as we can, you can't like it's.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: There's always like a piece of unpredictability.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: That's hard to say, but there's also that was also, I feel, like a piece of as a teacher, for being a teacher for that long, like what I learned was all the different behaviors and how can we prevent those behaviors?
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: And if behaviors you do see come up, okay, how do you approach it so that it's not like the traditional approach to like negative behaviors or anything like that?
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: And that's something that I've I feel like I've been able to bring into the parenting piece is like being able to predict things that might happen and how can we prevent that from happening so that we're all having a much better experience.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, One of the books that I love.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: That's really helped my husband and I to understand some of the behaviors that can happen with raising a sensitive child or neurodiverse child.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: My kids have the G and T piece so it brings in neurodiverse pieces too was and it might not work for everyone, but it was the explosive child.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: I think it's by Ross green I'll have to double check the author but a lot of the pieces in it are talking about finding the patterns, finding the root cause of the behavior and trying to help it before you get to the explosive moments.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think with our teacher backgrounds and maybe other people listening, they might not have that diagnostic piece, but trying to find those patterns.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: It's really helpful when we can figure out if they're hungry, if they're tired, if they're having a long day at school it's a new week of school if they're over-programmed with too many activities and just finding is the kiddo is my kiddo a sensory seeker where they're looking for action and movement, or are they one that needs, like me, I need the quiet, calm corner where it's dark at night and I'm not talking to anyone.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I'm just watching some silly TV show that's making me laugh.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: So finding that in your kid.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: That's a really good resource too.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: That I've liked, yeah, I think that's I, your kid that's a really good resource too that.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I've liked yeah, I think that's I just imagine that's chat gbt like takes all the sources from the internet and puts it all together.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's what us, as parents yes, to have the skill to do is okay.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: We're having this moment here.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: What is happening?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: And people like take your brain and scan through.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: What was the day like what?
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: How did he start the day, what has been going on, how has he been responding to things like taking all that information and being like can I find a pattern, can I?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: find something, where is the root cause?
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: So then I can address it in a way that's appropriate.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like that scanning through.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would definitely check out that book.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: And there's a lot of pieces too that make us have to have flexibility as a parent.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Say, a behavior is caused because.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: One example was my son wanted to always wear shorts to school when it was 40 degrees and I had to get over.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Other people would always comment, wow, he's really brave with shorts during the day or when it's so cold out and I had to get over that of not looking like the perfect parent or it's okay if other people are making these comments.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: That's not on my parenting, maybe it is, I don't really care.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to put pants in his backpack, he's going to be ready.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: I don't need to fight this battle that turns, escalates every single morning.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: So part of that is like understanding ourselves, our own fears of looking different or hearing comments from other parents that are maybe judging and not meaning to, but it feels judgy.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I love thinking about those pieces as well for ourselves.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I've even heard people mention if you're having a lot of behaviors coming up or seeing these problems or struggles in your family, you can take notes for the day what activities you did when this happened, how long did it last, what did it look like, and trying to figure out the triggers too.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: That can be helpful as well.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: It's dangerous though, because, if you're, for me, it opened this feeling of walking on eggshells at first.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: If I don't have the moon in the right place, the right temperature in the house, the right amount of food, the right aura around us, there could be this explosive moment, and I'm trying to prevent that, when, really, if we can try to release that and be like I'm doing the best I can, if we have a meltdown today, we ride it out.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: We can use sensory tools to try to help them reset.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: We can help them work through the emotion.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Later, when they're back and they have both sides of the brain going on, we can talk about what do you think their brain going on?
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: We can talk about what do you think baby is going on, or assess it more.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love how you talk about that way because, yeah, there's the piece of yeah, you want to, we want to prevent things from happening and all that, but it's also, as I said, like there's the unpredictability piece, like that's just, this is life happening, happening okay, like we can prevent everything.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: That's just not even possible.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: But that, what you said about walking around on eggshells is how how it felt us too.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Was it felt that way?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, like I really very carefully, and how am I breathing?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Am I breathing?
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Will this breath just is it gonna throw it off?
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: yeah, and I feel like the parents who have kids who are like highly sensitive, like that, I feel like could really relate to them.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Because that is how it is.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Will this blink throw it off?
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: If I blink, it's like, yeah, so being able to have that grace for ourselves to this is life, it's happening.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: If it happens, we're going to get, we're going to get through it, we're going to, we'll learn from it and see on the other end, when we get through to the other end, what can we learn from it?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Well, that's a wrap.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for tuning in.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Changemakers.
• 31:25
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• 31:36
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• 31:45
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• 31:48
  Speaker 2: It's hearttoheartlifecom.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Changemaker families.