Latest / Three For The Money / NFL Week 5 Gambling Picks, Who is Good? Please Be Better

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NFL Week 5 Gambling Picks, Who is Good? Please Be Better · Three For The Money

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1:05
It's week five. I don't know. It feels... I did
1:13
better than last week, but... I can't help but
1:17
feel I don't know ball at all. I don't know.
1:26
It's just like there's so many injuries. I feel
1:29
like this year there's just a ton of injuries
1:31
and it's really hard to get a feel for if a team
1:34
is good or not. I don't know. Maybe that's just
1:38
me. Anyway, I went four and four last week so
1:42
a little bit better than last week than two weeks
1:46
prior. Sunday felt a lot worse than I guess it
1:52
turned out to be. Which you know that's all right.
1:57
Lions and Panthers was very entertaining. Monday
2:00
night football. That did not work out. But hey.
2:07
Tomorrow's a new day. This is a new week. Let's
2:11
get back in the green. Yeah great intro by me
2:15
Chris how did you do to do last week. I did all
2:19
right. Wasn't great, but it was, like you, much
2:21
better than last week. I went eight and nine
2:23
all said and done. Lost my surefire. That sucked.
2:28
But I had a couple touchdowns scores sprinkled
2:30
in there. Shout out Pat Fryermuth. Shout out
2:34
Brian Robinson. Those were clutch. But yeah,
2:38
it was all right. For someone who has not done
2:42
super great this season, I feel like I have way
2:45
too many. That's written down on my, in my notebook
2:48
for this week. So, um, might be a case of fuck
2:51
it. We ball letter. Um, Sean, how are you doing?
2:57
Yeah. Um, I went all said and done went six and
3:04
10 are great. At least in the picks that, you
3:09
know, go out on Twitter, um, shut up. Derek Henry
3:14
first TD. Shout out Josh Allen. Anytime TD. And
3:19
then on the drive home from Knoxville, I live
3:22
boosted Kenneth Walker touchdown. So I'm killing
3:26
it on the touchdowns. Absolutely killing it.
3:31
But shit like, what was one of the bets I had?
3:39
I mean like, lost my surefire again. Shit like
3:48
Bengals minus two and a half. I can't seem to
3:51
just get a grasp on that at all. Even though
3:53
I thought I had it locked in. So. I don't know.
3:59
Maybe fading us wouldn't be the worst idea. But
4:04
I'm, I kind of kiss stans at myself this week.
4:08
I'm not gonna lie. I don't think you got the
4:11
same mindset. Oh, this week. Um, I don't know.
4:18
Let's let how about how about we talk through
4:20
these games. And we discuss as best friends,
4:25
what to bet on, and what we're gonna bet on,
4:28
even if there is no discussion. Okay Game one
4:35
that we're gonna talk about today Eagles at the
4:37
Jags Jags favored by seven over under is 41 and
4:41
a half Eagles Look like complete dogshit They
4:46
don't look like a good team at all Lane Johnson
4:50
today. I mean we record these on Tuesdays I don't
4:52
know if you saw you got both of you guys saw
4:54
but Lane Johnson retired after having some Some
4:57
some personal some family issues. I don't know
5:00
didn't look into it And so everything right now
5:06
for the Eagles does not look good, really at
5:09
all. Saquon, I think he's injured as well. I
5:12
don't know if he's going to play this week. The
5:15
Jacksonville Jaguars, Trevor Lawrence finally
5:17
beat Joe Burrow for once in his career. And Jamar
5:24
Chase is out. We're not talking about the Bengals,
5:26
but the Jags, they might be a good football team.
5:33
They they just might they just might be a good
5:36
football team It seems like they've kind of been
5:39
putting it together here. I mean I'll go first
5:42
so Based on everything that I've said This is
5:46
a little bit of a Costanza pick, but it also
5:49
might be a 4d chess level pick I'm taking the
5:53
Eagles plus seven Because it's still the Philadelphia
5:57
Eagles and seven is a lot of points. This is
6:00
the NFL the the Eagles like I don't know when
6:05
Saquon went out but and like Lane Johnson I don't
6:09
think he played last week either and they were
6:13
still they were in the driver's seat for most
6:15
of that game and then they blew the lead to the
6:18
eagle to the to the Rams and actually well I
6:21
don't even know if they're good but anyway I'm
6:24
taking the Eagles it just feels like everyone's
6:26
going to be on the Jags because everyone shits
6:28
on the Eagles and is looking for an excuse to
6:32
not bet on the Eagles or To for their praying
6:36
for their downfall. I don't know. Does any of
6:39
that make sense Chris? What do you think? Oh,
6:44
yeah, that makes sense You gotta buy hats off
6:48
to you. You gotta have some stones to bet on
6:50
the Eagles this week I'm not I'm taking the under
6:55
40 41 and a half now I just I couldn't really
7:03
get a read on this because the Jags opened at
7:05
four and a half and then kind of seemingly overnight
7:07
steamed all the way to six and a half seven.
7:10
That's crazy for non quarterback injuries. Uh,
7:15
I, uh, like everyone is on the Jags because it
7:18
moved that much. So I'm just going to take the
7:19
under, uh, Philly does still have a solid defense.
7:23
They got two picks, two picks. I believe it was
7:25
off Stafford or multiple turnovers at least.
7:27
So, um, I just don't. Can't bet the Eagles. I
7:31
know I everything in my body really wanted to
7:34
but I could see this being Eagles are in it the
7:38
entire game and then they end up losing about
7:41
13 in the fourth quarter I just I can't trust
7:44
this offense right now. So when in doubt take
7:47
a Lunder under 41 and a half I just can't pull
7:51
the trigger with Philly Sean game. Yeah. Yes.
7:56
Oh Also, Philly is getting to London I believe
8:01
on Friday. Full week of practice in Philly and
8:05
then that is a tweet I saw. I did not check to
8:08
see if it was verified source. I feel like it's
8:10
a weird thing to lie about. So yeah, just worth.
8:15
I know it's not the same as flying to Australia
8:17
28 hours before a football game, but just worth
8:20
noting. And it's London. It might as well be
8:25
a Jacksonville home game. What? When you look
8:29
at ESPN or your sportsbook, it'll say the time
8:34
in which it starts. So if you see like 9 30 in
8:38
the morning, that's probably means it's like
8:41
across the pond somewhere. I didn't even look
8:43
at that. Just let you know. I was like, Oh, it's
8:47
the first game. It's the first game we're talking
8:49
about. Yeah. Heads up. Next week, the Jags are
8:53
also playing in London. So against the Texans.
8:56
This is starting their tomb game homestead as
9:01
their future site of being the London Jaguars.
9:06
Calling it. Yeah, I think the Eagles are an absolute
9:14
dumpster fire, especially in the second half
9:17
this season. They've been outscored 54 to 20
9:23
after halftime. Um, if you include yardage being
9:27
outrunned and passed against at 260 yards to
9:32
the Eagles, 72 yards in the second half. Um,
9:36
they're averaging just 2 .9 yards per play after
9:40
halftime. Worst in the NFL and have only had
9:46
and only only. God damn it. I'm missing a word.
9:52
Fuck it. Um, have only. Yes, have only 19 second
9:59
half first downs. They played four games. 19
10:05
first downs in four games in the second half.
10:09
It's terrible. Worse than the NFL, dead last.
10:13
Hertz is only two for nine on 10 yards or more
10:18
in the second half. And Philly is 0 for 11 on
10:21
third down in the second half. So. Will be taking
10:26
the Jacksonville Jaguars second half spread minus
10:29
three and a half plus 100 Big big rain big game
10:35
big brain play. I cannot talk today This is plus
10:41
money and Eagles could still cover plus seven,
10:45
but you actually have to win by four. I think
10:48
it's the entire it's like Second half is its
10:52
own game in this right? So it's not But okay,
10:56
I know they definitely can't but just the way
10:58
you phrase that I wanted to know I I understand
11:01
Yes, but for the people at home who may not have
11:03
understood. Thank you for yeah clarifying that
11:06
But yes minus three and a half second half plus
11:11
100 So I love that honestly, that's pretty sneaky.
11:16
Yeah, that might be I'm gonna write that down
11:20
I Don't think I've ever seen anyone take a second
11:24
half anything I don't know if I've ever seen
11:28
someone before Chris said the second half being
11:32
its own game. I was like, is, is this just taking
11:37
the sec? So like if, if the, if the Jags score
11:40
14 points and the Eagles score 10 points in the
11:44
second half, but the Eagles end up winning is
11:49
that still caches to my, I've never personally
11:52
about a second half, but to my knowledge, That's
11:55
how it goes. Yeah, I mean, Philly could be up
11:58
21 -0 at halftime and win 21 -17, but Jags would
12:03
still cover second half minus third half. Okay.
12:08
I'm going to look that up after the show and
12:12
see if that is the case. For my own brain. It's
12:17
essentially like a first half bet, just the second.
12:22
Second part of the game. Right, but... There
12:26
was game before the second half. Mm -hmm. Yep.
12:33
Okay, let's move on Okay, second game divisional
12:39
matchup Bears at the Packers Packers home underdogs
12:43
by two and a half points over under is 45 and
12:47
a half Bears Is Kayla Williams coming back? Do
12:53
we know no badging? It's badging. Okay I guess
12:57
I should have looked at that before. I should
13:00
have looked at a lot of things before I can write
13:03
this every week. I know, but like I write down
13:08
like the main shit, not like the specific things
13:13
like the location of the like the location of
13:16
the game and which quarterback is play in the
13:19
time, the oddly specific things like that. Yeah,
13:23
I'm a numbers guy. Anyway Packers, I mean they
13:31
beat the the box last week Whoop -de -doo so
13:37
is everyone else that they played Bears They
13:42
they beat the Jets pretty handedly if I remember
13:44
correctly Yes, yes, and so like I don't know
13:53
It's it's like the Bears have some sort of magic
13:56
around them some sort of force field that's making
13:59
them Making them good and that that force fields
14:03
name is Ben Johnson. He's doing a very good job
14:07
being a head coach And the Packers I think they're
14:11
just beat up. I think that might be the Might
14:14
be the case there. I don't know Chris. I'm gonna
14:17
let you take this one first This has to be damn
14:21
near rock bottom for the Packers your home dogs
14:25
against a franchise you have dominated for quite
14:29
some time against a backup quarterback, especially
14:34
one that's not particularly good. This is disgusting.
14:38
I'm taking Packers plus two and a half. They
14:41
have to win this football game. If they don't,
14:45
season's over essentially. I know Tyson Badgen
14:49
played well enough on paper. You look at it,
14:53
he threw one interception, should have been four.
14:56
Three of them got called back for Various defensive
14:59
penalties. So if the Jets just aren't stupid,
15:03
it's completely different game Packers do have
15:06
a good defense. I just if this was Keenum, I'd
15:09
be all over the bearers. I'm being honest with
15:10
you I just do not trust badging. So This is like
15:14
gotta have a game for the Packers. This is ultimate
15:17
gut check. So yeah cheese heads plus two and
15:19
a half Sean looked like you might agree with
15:22
me. I agree if he was If it was Keenum going,
15:27
I would have taken the Bears, but I'm once again
15:30
going back to the first half well, taking Packers
15:33
plus one and a half in the first half. Jordan
15:38
Love is 7 -0 against the first half spread in
15:42
division games since the start of last season.
15:46
Also, Ben Johnson's first half stats against
15:48
his division, not that impressive. Just two and
15:52
six straight up and against the spread. I'm not
15:55
playing the full game, but I don't disagree with
16:00
you, Chris, at all if you take it full. I found
16:04
an interesting stat that LeFleur is pretty good
16:08
at facing backup quarterbacks. He is 19 and three
16:12
straight up when facing a backup QB. So something
16:17
to consider there. Will, what do you got? I'm
16:23
on the Bears. I'm riding this roller coaster
16:25
until the wheels fall off. I think it's very
16:29
entertaining and Case Keaton could get in the
16:34
in the game, you know anything could happen.
16:37
Why don't they play like is he just like old
16:42
and like just kind of like hey, I had my moment.
16:45
I'm sore as fuck. Now. I don't really want to
16:47
I can't really go anymore because he played very
16:50
well on against like a good Eagles defense. And
16:56
they just automatically go to a badger. And again,
16:58
badger played fine, but it wasn't anything like,
17:01
Oh my God, we got to go with this guy again.
17:03
I was very surprised when I saw he was playing.
17:08
Why didn't he play the Monday night game? I think
17:11
he had a king. He was in concussion protocol
17:14
for most of the week. I think he ended up being
17:16
cleared, but like very late in the week. So he
17:18
didn't really practice with the ones hardly any.
17:20
So I think that that was why. Okay. That makes
17:25
sense. I mean, that's probably it. And like,
17:31
I don't know how old Case Keenum is. 38? Yeah.
17:37
Damn. That's like 60 in NFL years. I ain't that
17:42
much older than us, man. Yeah, but people aren't
17:48
betting on me. That's not true. I bet on myself
17:55
every day. Exactly. Just to make it. I don't
18:01
know. I am. I think I think the Bears right now
18:05
they're they're on some sort of heater and I'm
18:08
riding this until the wheels come off. It's a
18:10
small spread divisional games. It can be a little
18:13
bit wacky Packers. Backs are against the wall,
18:18
but like how can you not like this Bears team?
18:23
Not for like not for like a gambling perspective,
18:26
but just like a sports fan perspective, you know.
18:29
Oh yeah, there are a lot of fun. Johnson, phenomenal
18:33
coach. Just a spot in a vacuum. Yeah. I mean,
18:37
the Packers or the Bears are much better team,
18:39
but just spot. I like the Packers. I do think
18:43
some fuck shit is probably going to go on in
18:46
this game, which is always great. Anyway, Sean,
18:53
how do you get these first half stats? I am So
18:57
curious. Oh, I also have a stat actually first
18:59
Let me I actually do have a stat for the Bears
19:01
that defined on our our friends the trend center
19:04
app This one is titled how to bet divisional
19:08
road favorites by week 14 It has 10 conditions
19:13
This against the spread stat is 99 42 and 4 8
19:20
1 and 1 in the last 10 and on a 7 game win streak
19:24
So there you go There's your stat. Alright Sean,
19:28
how do you get these half statistics? I check
19:33
online. No, but um... Asshole. Realistically,
19:43
like, Action Network does a lot of first half
19:46
stats, so... And they usually put out their trends,
19:54
stats, and systems for every game, like around...
19:58
Four o 'clock on Tuesdays, so it's kind of perfect
20:02
like leading into the show like coming home from
20:04
work Getting on the laptop. Just check in like
20:07
trend sets, you know going back and forth from
20:10
them Covers trend center like all these people
20:15
I mean covers has a bunch of first test stats
20:17
too. It's just They're not that great. They're
20:21
just like this is what happens in the first half.
20:25
So it's kind of moot but like Action Network
20:29
is like pretty like on the nose, but the Eagles
20:33
won After their loss on the way home from Knoxville
20:39
I was somebody posted I can't remember who it
20:42
was maybe barstool or CBO sports or I don't know
20:45
who the fuck it was but They like highlighted
20:48
like the Eagles second half all season and I
20:52
was just like I think I'm just gonna bet Whoever
20:55
the hell they're playing second half spread Next
20:59
week, so that's where I got the second half from
21:03
so I just wrote all those stats down and Then
21:07
told them to eat it and now we're here and now
21:10
we're here going on to the third game Right.
21:14
I when I was doing betting research. I was like
21:18
There were a couple of games are like I don't
21:21
know about this Where can I get some of these
21:24
these half statistics that Sean keeps though?
21:27
I just didn't even know where to look Well, I
21:30
kind of like them just cuz like I'm usually watching
21:32
the Titans game and so I don't like to keep up
21:35
with like all the noon games at once so like
21:40
Spreading it out with like little half little
21:42
here like, you know makes it easy. You're just
21:45
like alright that game's done. Mm -hmm, right
21:49
I Mean it makes sense. You got a system And they're
21:53
winning for those part. That's all that matters
21:56
baby. Just win. Alright next game The Lions at
22:01
the Cardinals the Cardinals are home dogs by
22:05
five and a half points over under is 53 and a
22:07
half Lions Are they beat up to like I'm? Okay
22:16
secondary is decimated Yeah, because it just
22:20
seems it's I mean they I mean honestly, they're
22:23
an auto auto bet over team for me this season
22:27
and really for the last few seasons but like
22:31
it just They they definitely could have won the
22:35
game against the the Panthers. I don't know if
22:37
they they could but they could have I don't know
22:41
I know I just contradicted myself. Anyway, it's
22:44
exact opposite You know, sometimes Chris I I
22:50
start talking and then I I don't really have
22:53
a plan on where it's going The Cardinals lost
22:59
to the Giants Fairly handedly. It was kind of
23:02
close there at the the first half But that game
23:05
was a game was a little bit crazy But yeah, Sean,
23:10
I'm gonna take this one first All right I'm gonna
23:14
go with the Detroit football Lions I mean, I
23:17
mean I feel like the Lions just got to come out
23:20
and give some sort of secondhand revenge and
23:24
That they just got their shit rocked on Saturday
23:26
night football Feel like this could be a great
23:29
bounce back spot for goth and Campbell. So I'm
23:33
gonna go with the Lions also Jared goth undefeated
23:38
when facing the Cardinals 9 -0 pretty crazy Will
23:45
what do you get? So I have the over in this game
23:51
That as I just said the lot lions overs it's
23:56
kind of an auto bet for me right now I might
23:59
double dip because I do think this is a perfect
24:02
bounce back spot for the Lions at five and a
24:04
half. I don't think is a lot of points. I think
24:08
the Lions can score a lot of points and I don't
24:12
think the Cardinals would be able to keep up
24:15
at all, even though the Lions defense is in shambles
24:21
right now. So may double dip, but official pick
24:25
is over 53 and a half. It's high. And that's
24:29
kind of why I like it, because it's so high.
24:31
I feel like most of the time, the highest overs
24:34
go over and the lowest unders go under. I don't
24:38
know. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm making
24:40
that shit up. Who's to say? Chris, what do you
24:43
think? Oh, no, that's an interesting stat, or
24:46
not really a stat, but I think you just threw
24:48
out there. I wonder, I might start looking into
24:51
that. I've never really thought about that. But
24:52
yeah, over. Lion's AutoBed over every single
24:55
week until... They give me a reason not to. Both
24:59
offenses have playmakers, neither defense has
25:03
any. So that's rude. But neither defense is particularly
25:07
good at all. That's being polite. So yeah, just
25:11
over. It's inside, golf rocks inside, over. Oh,
25:15
shit. I'm double -dipping, for sure. Yeah. I
25:19
mean... I'm just going to take lines, but the
25:24
toll could be 60 and a half. And if the over
25:28
is still riding high, I'm going to take it. Did
25:32
you double dip the chip? Did you just double
25:34
dip the chip? OK, well, there it is. Next game,
25:38
the San Francisco 49ers at the Seattle Seahawks.
25:42
Seahawks home favorites, Sam Darnold back over
25:46
under forty seven and a half. I really have not
25:51
watched. Much of the Niners this season as well
25:55
as the Seahawks really Seahawks, I mean they
25:58
beat the Chargers Chargers are just ass this
26:00
year. I guess well, I guess they're not ass They're
26:03
scoring some points, but they are not good that
26:06
and obviously they haven't won a game yet Honestly
26:11
was that what'd you say? Some of the charges
26:16
the charges have all the Chargers. Okay. Yeah.
26:19
Yeah Honestly, I'm I'm going back to an old faithful.
26:25
I'm going to Divisional under under 47 and a
26:30
half. I think both defense I honestly I feel
26:33
like both teams are kind of beat up a little
26:35
bit still But also at the same time I I think
26:39
both these teams are very well coached And their
26:42
defenses are are kind of rocking right now So
26:44
I'm going under 47 and a half divisional under
26:47
keep it simple Chris what you got? Oh yeah, I
26:52
agree. Under 47 and a half. Both defenses pretty
26:55
strong. San Francisco's offense kind of came
26:58
back to earth a little bit last week when they
27:00
actually had to play a team with a spine. So
27:03
yeah, I think it's going to be kind of a rock
27:04
fight. Plus when both these teams meet up tends
27:08
to be kind of an ugly game. Since Mike McDonald
27:13
took over as a head coach of the Seahawks in
27:15
2024, they're averaging just 35 or Yeah, averaging
27:21
24 points per game in that in the that span and
27:25
that includes a Shit 36 24. Sorry. My notes are
27:30
far away from me. It's kind of hard to read them
27:32
So they're averaging 35 points a game in the
27:36
matchup since 2024 and that includes a 36 24
27:40
shootout So even with an inflated total in there,
27:42
they're still only only averaging 24 points per
27:45
game Combined when they play so yeah under John
27:52
Do we have a clean sweep? No, but one of us has
27:58
got to win. This one was a real head scratcher
28:02
for me, so suck my dick and balls. I'm going
28:06
to take the over. Both teams can score. I mean,
28:11
ever since week one, Seahawks been putting up
28:13
30 in every game. Big divisional game, so I think
28:19
the Niners might want to flex their four and
28:20
O muscles as well, and they look damn good. So
28:25
fuck it. I'm just gonna lay a unit on the over
28:27
for the hell of it. I like it. Well, I hope he
28:34
loses For my own personal gain will contradiction
28:39
Palmer. I mean, I like your reason I like your
28:43
reason Okay All right next game Sunday night
28:53
football the Ravens at the Falcons Falcons favored
28:57
by three over under 43 and a half lamar jackson
29:02
may or may not be playing in this game i don't
29:06
know my cat's yelling beside me um falcons beat
29:11
the shit out of the saints saints couldn't do
29:14
nothing on monday night football this is the
29:17
uh the third prime time game in a row for the
29:21
falcons kind of wild i feel like uh i feel like
29:24
that's really weird for a team that honestly
29:27
going into this season. What was it really too
29:32
sure if they were going to be good or not? And
29:37
like, I don't know. It's also like only week
29:40
five and I don't I don't really I don't really
29:42
know if they're good. Just a general. I don't
29:45
know. Sean, I'm gonna let you take this one first.
29:48
What do you think about this game? It's a real
29:51
poultry battle. So another bird matchup. Is there
29:58
another bird matchup? There were two last week.
30:03
There were? Oh wait, no, there were two. You're
30:05
thinking of the cats. Honestly, my bad. My mistake.
30:08
You're thinking of the cats. My mistake. Sorry.
30:10
This is the poultry battle. But I'm going to
30:15
take the over as it will soar just like a bird.
30:21
Over 43 and a half. I mean. Some expert at handicapping.
30:31
I mean, the Falcons just looked like goddamn
30:33
world beaters last night. They beat the fuck
30:37
out of the Saints. But with Pinnix back there
30:41
at QB, I expect kind of the same level of output.
30:45
Ravens, they got the weapons to get points on
30:47
the board. Also, Lil Stat, who I didn't write
30:52
the recipe down. But first year head coaches
30:56
on prime time are 13 and three to the over. So
31:05
Chris, what do you got? I agree over 43 and a
31:09
half. Um, I just don't, I know the Falcons defense
31:14
looked really good, um, against the saints, but
31:17
the saints can't run the ball for shit. So really
31:19
all that to do is sit back and just play deep
31:22
zones all night. And, um, the father or saints
31:25
are still able to score 24 points. So, uh, yeah,
31:29
I just think this could be kind of a shootout.
31:30
It seems like a low total. Um, don't think Lamar
31:32
is going to play, but, um, that just means pro
31:36
bowlers. Snoop Huntley is going to come in and
31:37
sling that rock. Also Derek Henry should be able
31:40
to run. Uh, I know Falcons do have, uh, number
31:44
one rush defense in the league. I think that's
31:45
a little, uh, if you look at the teams they played,
31:49
I mean, the saints just cannot run the football
31:51
at all. Panthers definitely more of a just drop
31:54
back. Let it rip kind of team. So I think that's
31:57
a little skewed. So I think Derek Henry should
31:59
have a pretty good game here. Yeah. Um, I like
32:02
the over and also, um, whoever is the public
32:06
favorite or the, whoever the public is taking
32:09
like spread wise in this game, I will be taking
32:11
the opposite because I saw this last night. Um,
32:15
the teams getting more than 50 % of the bets
32:18
and prime time this season are too intent against
32:20
the spread. So I'll look that up before. before
32:26
official bets go out on Sunday, but yeah, whoever's
32:30
the public favorite, I will be fading. So, put
32:33
that in the card. Will, what are you taking?
32:36
I guess they'll have to follow the Twitter to
32:40
get that play. Very important. I am also on the
32:45
over, so we do have a clean sweep. I mean, the
32:49
Falcons, like Bijan, that guy can run, that guy
32:54
can run through anything. He's fantastic. Falcons
32:57
can definitely score here and there. Ravens defense
33:02
is all right. I mean, the the Titans were able
33:07
to come up come back. Now, not when we did cover.
33:12
We fucked around and covered that game last week
33:14
against the Ravens. Cover 11 and a half. I mean,
33:18
I'm just saying, hey, I'm just they don't ask
33:22
how they ask how many And so yes, I I think the
33:30
Falcons to score I think that Even if Lamar Jackson
33:34
is not available in this game. Obviously they
33:38
have Derek Henry that guy can run as well And
33:42
also they they have deep threats they got save
33:44
flowers Yeah, I think this is gonna be a pretty
33:48
entertaining bird matchup Let's let's watch these
33:53
birds go high. I don't know. I feel like I was
33:57
really gearing up for a better line there. I
34:00
took the best one. Yeah, you did. I'm sorry.
34:04
I shouldn't have even attempted that. Shouldn't
34:06
have even tried. God, that'll show me. Okay,
34:15
moving on from our main slate of games, everyone's
34:19
favorite segment, the surefire picks of the week.
34:24
Our double unit guaranteed not to lose plays
34:28
of week five. Who would like to go first? I feel
34:32
like I go first a lot. I'm going to open this
34:35
up to the floor. I'll go first. Okay. I'm going
34:45
with the Colt Steelers under 44 and a half. I
34:50
said it earlier this season. Steelers are a team
34:53
built for unders. This is the highest the Steelers
34:58
have been set at, at a total this year. so far.
35:03
I know the Steelers have kind of been firing
35:05
recently, like they put up 24 against the Browns.
35:10
They, who else did they play? I can't remember,
35:14
but it was in like the Bengals. Yeah. The Bengals.
35:18
That also got into like the twenties, but I mean,
35:24
you can't go the whole show without mentioning
35:27
our friends at the Trent Center. So I got two.
35:31
Well, I mentioned the Trent Center earlier. Well,
35:34
I haven't mentioned them yet, so I'm going to
35:36
mention them now, okay this one's called Colts
35:40
with rest disadvantage under since 12 11 2016
35:45
it is seven and sixteen six game one streak and
35:51
Steelers stay under when favored at home since
35:54
2021 Pretty self -explanatory on both, but that
35:59
one is sixteen seven and two three game one streak
36:02
on that So just please let me hit more than one
36:07
of these this season It's all I'm asking week
36:11
five hit one Gotta get another one But I really
36:17
feel this this one took I actually did a lot
36:20
of research Into my surefire this this week because
36:23
I was like I cannot lose again can't do it So
36:28
yeah colt Steelers under 44 and a half Will I'll
36:32
let you go second. Okay if you want. So didn't
36:38
do a ton of research on these. On this pick.
36:42
Almost actually zero research. This is purely
36:45
a vibes play. Vikings much like our friends,
36:50
the Steelers, if you can call them that. They
36:53
are an under team, the Vikings, Eric, be enemy.
36:58
That's their DC, right? Brian Flores, Brian Flores.
37:02
Another Okay, nevermind. Brian Flores. This guy
37:08
is a is a fucking wizard when it comes to dialing
37:12
up defenses right now. I feel like all of their
37:18
games have gone under. And the Saints. I feel
37:21
like Tyler Shuck. I mean, he's not a rookie.
37:26
He was a rookie last year. But he still feels
37:28
quite young. Quite impressionable. And so I feel
37:35
as if at some point in this game he will fear
37:38
for his life for For his job because they won't
37:45
have anything They won't they won't get anything
37:48
going on offense. So under 42 and a half Vikings
37:51
at the Saints Yeah, that's kind of it Chris What
37:59
do you got? I was worried you were gonna steal
38:01
mine. So I'm very glad that you didn't but it's
38:03
also a total and it's when we talked about Lions
38:06
Cardinals over 53 and a half. This is not just
38:09
vibes. I have not also I have also not mentioned
38:11
our friends at the Trent Center. I was saving
38:13
them for this. Since the year 2000, when the
38:18
Detroit football Lions are favored to win a football
38:20
game, the over is 98 63 and 29 and one in the
38:26
last 10. Yeah, this isn't at this isn't in Detroit
38:32
where it seems like Just every game flies over,
38:34
but it's still in the dome Arizona. Um, yeah,
38:37
points, points, points, just happy not take a
38:40
lion's over right now. So yeah, sure. Fired double
38:42
unit guaranteed not to lose lions, Cardinals
38:44
over 53 and a half. There it is. Um, okay. Are
38:51
guaranteed not to lose plays of the week. Uh,
38:55
three totals. Don't hate it. I don't hate it
38:59
at all, especially now we're alluding to. what
39:03
I said in the beginning where part of this part
39:06
of this week kind of felt like I I feel like
39:08
I don't know who's good and who's not. I don't
39:11
know who to put my trust in. And also the amount
39:13
of injuries has kind of thrown a wrench in that
39:16
as well. And I'm also just now realizing I don't
39:20
have any extra plays. Chris, what are your extra
39:23
plays? All right, I got four. A couple of stinky
39:27
ones. We'll get those out of the way. Steelers
39:29
minus one and a half against the Colts. Um, Pittsburgh
39:32
is coming off a mini by playing on Thursday and
39:35
he's traveling back from London. Also their defense
39:38
is atrocious. So Steelers minus one and a half
39:41
and then stinkiest one in my car. Jets money
39:44
line against the Cleveland Browns. I feel like
39:47
the public's going to be all over the Browns.
39:48
They just saw him whip the Steelers ass on Thursday
39:51
night football. Now they're dogs against the
39:53
Jets. I think they're going to be all over the
39:55
Browns. Also, Jerry verse after the game was
39:57
saying the same, the same old Browns, we're going
40:00
to paraphrasing now, but we're going to steam
40:02
roll. We're going to dominate, blah, blah, blah.
40:04
That's exactly what a guy says when you're about
40:06
to lose eight football games in a row. So Jets
40:08
money line for this one. Uh, plus money. Um,
40:12
another total surprise. Actually, I have two
40:14
more totals. Jesus Christ. All right. Raiders
40:16
pass under 45 and a half. I feel like the Raiders
40:20
defense kind of underrated. Kirk Cousins kind
40:22
of stealing all the shine, but defense been pretty
40:25
good. I think Max Crosby and this defensive line
40:28
will get after Drake May. And we all know what
40:31
happens when Drake May is under pressure, he
40:32
poops his pants. So I like the under in that
40:35
one. There's also a trend on this one. AFC West
40:38
early PM unders. So when they play, obviously
40:41
one o 'clock. across the country since two thousand
40:44
twenty one when spreads are between three and
40:47
eight the under thirty six ten and one seven
40:50
and three in the last ten also think her cousins
40:53
is he's not this good he's got to come back to
40:56
earth at some point and then the last one Sean
40:59
you will love this Broncos Chargers first half
41:02
under twenty one and a half LA is averaging seven
41:07
points per first half this season The Denver
41:10
Broncos have scored 13 points in the first halves
41:13
combined this season. Fuck yes. So under 21 and
41:19
a half feels too easy. They'll probably be a
41:22
shootout. But yeah, that's the card. Love it.
41:28
A lot of stinky plays on this. A lot of totals.
41:29
Don't really realize that until we start talking
41:31
about them. But yeah, that's the card. What was
41:34
the line on the Broncos Chargers first half under?
41:37
21 and a half. All right, I'm taking that I just
41:42
root down whatever because I'm I'm definitely
41:45
taking that first half under Whatever it is fair
41:53
Tom. What do you got? I? Don't have anything
41:57
right now check the Twitter. I did not have time
42:00
to Come up with some extra plays this week, so
42:04
I apologize, but We'll see how Saturday goes
42:09
usually does pretty well, so Yeah, how'd you
42:15
do you I believe you said you did really well
42:17
on Saturday. What was it? Yeah, I went 14 and
42:19
six With a double unit on vols minus six and
42:24
a half. Yeah, that was awesome You said it was
42:28
one of the best days of your gambling career
42:31
Yeah, I think so just cuz the I think all my
42:36
actually like all the boosts that I had across
42:40
FanDuel and DraftKings all those hit And then
42:43
the double, I never really do double units on
42:46
Saturdays. So the double unit hit was massive.
42:51
Um, but yeah, I was doing most, one of the most
42:56
profitable for sure. Yeah. I mean, that's fantastic.
42:59
Um, I was doing so well on Saturday until the
43:01
sun went down. I think I was, um, like seven
43:06
and two or something like that, uh, before the
43:08
night slate. And then I finished eight and eight.
43:13
brutal, including the last game of the night.
43:16
I had the Baylor Arizona state under and I, I
43:19
mean, I was falling asleep and then just, I was
43:22
laying in bed, phone kept vibrating. It was just
43:24
Baylor touchdown, Baylor touchdown, Baylor. They
43:26
hit the over themselves. I think they scored
43:28
55. That was, and then yeah, my Sunday was terrible.
43:34
So really once the sun went down on Saturday
43:37
until really the sun went down on Sunday, which
43:40
abysmal. Yeah. I mean, I went two and one on
43:46
Saturday, because I didn't really feel like doing
43:50
a bunch of research for a bunch of games I wasn't
43:52
going to watch. Sunday was like, it was all right.
44:00
Monday was not. And here we are. However, I would
44:06
like to share this with you all. I might have
44:09
had my greatest fantasy football performance
44:13
of all time. Would you like to hear about it?
44:19
Is it in our league? No, it's in my work league.
44:23
Okay. I scored 192 .62 points. Jesus. And up
44:30
until Monday Night Football, the guy had only
44:33
scored like 60 points, but he ended with 102.
44:39
Do you have Macmillan or Bichon? I don't know.
44:47
Fuck it. I'm about to pull it up. Fucking ESPN
44:50
fantasy giving me ads for my for winning. You
44:56
guys notice that? It's like, it's Miller time.
44:59
Have a Miller. You won. I shouldn't be getting
45:01
an ad since I won. I earned it. I earned this
45:08
shit. He had Drake London and Chris Alavi. But,
45:15
uh, so I had Joe Burrow, which two interceptions,
45:20
but he had almost 24 points. Oh, Marion Hampton,
45:23
Kenneth Walker, who scored 30. Poca. Who scored
45:26
almost 30, Zay Flowers, who scored 25, Laporta
45:30
22, Nico Collins 30, Vikings defense, and Tyler
45:35
Loop with eight points. I've fucking murdered
45:39
this guy. I don't even, I don't even know who
45:44
he is. He's just some guy in the office. Sign
45:47
up for the league. Damn. Walk by his, walk by
45:51
his little cubicle. Be like, like that wind bitch.
45:56
I know I don't know who it is. You find out and
46:00
then just walk by his cubicle. My nuts taste,
46:05
bitch. You know, friendly office banter. Yeah,
46:11
yeah. Well, we let go our HR person a couple
46:14
weeks ago, so. So there's just no rules. Yeah,
46:18
I don't have a manager either right now, so.
46:21
He's running the show over there. Did I tell
46:24
you about that? I don't think so. I feel like
46:28
you guys fire people at will so it's kind of
46:31
hard to keep it up with all. I know the managers
46:33
left. Okay. At roughly the same time. Gotcha.
46:41
The HR person was let go. For what? For like
46:48
not having enough people. HR scandal? No, not
46:50
having enough people in the office to justify
46:52
an in -office HR person. Ah. Well that's kind
46:55
of sad. Silly. I was hoping it would be something
46:57
like They violated HR rules, that'd be funny.
47:04
Unless it included a party where something negative
47:07
happened to them. Had a torrid affair with an
47:12
intern or something like that. Yeah, I don't...
47:16
That'd be cool. Sorry, we don't have to get too
47:19
far into this, but I beat the shit out of someone
47:22
in my work fantasy football league. That's why
47:24
we're having this conversation. So yeah. That
47:29
was fun on set on Sunday really the only thing
47:33
I had to look forward to I also beat the other
47:36
guy is the Whoever I was facing in our league
47:40
cuz I had Ted. Yeah, I was like Chuba yeah, I
47:47
remember you guys when you said your best performance
47:49
I remember Sunday night scrolling through I was
47:51
like who has these guys and it was you so I was
47:53
wondering if that was if you ended up with like
47:55
180 or something like that would you like that's
47:57
why that's why I asked you but I do want to give
48:00
a shout out to us three top of the leaderboards
48:03
in our league. Yes. And I are four and Oh, it's
48:07
real is third place at three and one. Um, it's
48:11
like the three guys who know ball the best are
48:13
the best at fantasy football. So it's, we have
48:16
a podcast. Yeah. Maybe she just talked fancy
48:19
football. Give up on this gambling. You can gamble
48:25
on fantasy points. That's true. I mean, that's.
48:30
Yeah, that's. Well, pretty much what prop bets
48:32
are, but you can, I know, I know you can actually
48:36
game point. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what are you saying?
48:40
No, no, too. Well, so this week at fantasy football,
48:43
um, I have Jamar chase. So when do you think
48:48
I should jump off a bridge? Oh, and also I have,
48:53
I have three players on by this week. Oh yeah.
48:58
Panthers are on by and the chiefs and the chiefs.
49:03
Oh, But yeah so far being 1 -1 has been a cheat
49:11
code I feel like it has not been a cheat code
49:16
since like like every time every time you're
49:21
1 -1 some shit goes down but like You know my
49:25
first three picks were Gibbs Josh Allen and Brock
49:29
Bowers Brock Bowers I had to wait like two weeks
49:32
on but he's putting up Yeah. Best receiver on
49:36
that team. Oh my God. Oh, my team is ass this
49:45
week. Oh Jesus. I don't know. Yeah. Cause I got
49:50
a on by, I got Chuba Hubbard, Travis Kelsey,
49:53
Ted McMillan, and Jamar Chase might be out for
49:58
a little bit. And Brice Hall is doubtful. So
50:02
that's five players I had to replace. For fucking
50:06
this week Jesus that waiver wire. I gotta play
50:10
fucking woody marks Do you guys know who that
50:14
against the against the Titans? Yeah, I mean,
50:18
I don't I don't know what his splits are with
50:20
Montgomery But I've said that wouldn't it on
50:22
paper would probably not be a bad matchup. Yeah
50:25
Did you see that? Okay, let's talk about the
50:29
toilet bowl real quick. Oh, yeah toilet bowl
50:33
is the 0 -4 Houston Texans versus the 0 -4 Tennessee
50:38
Titans. Houston Texans are seven and a half point
50:42
favorites. Is that crazy to anyone else or like?
50:50
No. Yeah, it is. It's a little crazy. Yeah, it's
50:56
crazy. Especially on the road. A two possession
51:01
favorite of an 0 -4 team is nuts. Was thinking
51:06
about taking the over honestly, it's so Titans
51:10
overs are gonna be automatic and I mean it's
51:14
38 and a half or something like that and it's
51:16
just Such as I know the Titans offense is cheeks
51:19
by me. Neither of these secondaries can cover
51:22
I think the Often picking up a little bit. It's
51:26
a little bit. It's just connotates like you should
51:29
kind of showing up here, you know, it's I mean,
51:31
it's getting better, but just overall like 37
51:36
and a half is the total. Do not. Oh, that's so
51:39
low. We'll see how Saturday goes. I might take
51:41
that over, or I might take the Titans, honestly,
51:43
if it stays more than a touchdown. But yeah,
51:48
the Texans second, like we're getting to the
51:50
point where it's like, oh, this is just slow
51:51
start. The Texans, mainly the secondary, just
51:54
might be God awful. I mean, they're getting torched.
51:59
I know the Cowboys are a very good offensive
52:01
team, but good God. They couldn't cover. Any
52:05
CD had like 20 catches. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah,
52:12
certainly. One of these teams has to win. It's
52:17
true. Actually, it could be a tie. Wouldn't that
52:23
be hilarious? I don't have the Titans ever taught.
52:28
I'm sure at some point, but I I don't remember
52:33
the last time the Titans had tied a game. It's
52:36
like kissing your sister. What's the second half
52:40
of that expression? Feel like it's it needs to
52:46
explain why it's like Because it's bad Because
52:53
it's a kiss but it's with your sister. Yes. It's
52:55
like it's a moral. I don't know It's like not
52:59
cool. Yeah gross Icky cooties. Yeah cooties.
53:08
That's the bad part of that Hey, we're just having
53:14
a good time here. I'm joking The Oilers have
53:24
tied pre -1974, which is before the overtime
53:31
rule change. So, technically, no. The Titans
53:36
have never tied, but the Jacksonville Jaguars
53:41
are the only current NFL team that have never
53:44
recorded a tie in franchise history. That's an
53:50
interesting little tidbit. Okay, so I just googled,
53:56
why is a tie like kissing your sister? A tie
54:01
in sports is like kissing your sister because
54:04
it feels unsatisfying, awkward, and lacks the
54:08
excitement of a real win. I don't think the Google
54:11
AI overview knows exactly what it's like to kiss
54:16
your sister. Okay, so legendary coaches like
54:23
Bear Bryant and Eddie Eradelt or that I don't
54:27
know how to or delats are often credited with
54:30
popularizing the phrase to describe the bitter
54:33
disappointment of a drawn game so bear Bryant
54:38
coach Famous one said it in Alabama, but they
54:45
probably kissed their sister Zing and Then there's
54:52
a bunch of other explanations around it Which
54:56
is quite humorous That's funny. Shit. What else?
55:10
What else happened this week? Do we want to talk
55:14
about our tailgating experience? Because me and
55:17
Sean have never been to a real tailgate like
55:19
that before. Did you have fun? I had a fantastic
55:24
time. I had a great time. Good. Everyone knows
55:27
you had a great time, Sean. I had a great time.
55:37
Yeah, that one got away from me. Yeah. Not gonna
55:40
lie. It all went downhill and we picked up that
55:42
random warm beer off of whatever that was and
55:47
just drank it. We couldn't stop you. You picked
55:54
it up and we said, what are you doing with that?
55:56
And you go, and just drink it. And I was like,
56:02
oh, there could have been loogies in there. It
56:09
could have been someone dip spit. I was like,
56:16
And then he stopped, and then drank it, and he
56:20
was fine. So I was like, all right, well. All
56:25
right. Live life, dude. I am sad I missed that.
56:29
That sounded hilarious. This is the classic Shawnerism,
56:35
I guess, like just being drunk. Well, being drunk
56:43
and doing something stupid like that. Yeah. in
56:48
front of my friends to get a yuck. We all just
56:53
look at each other like, look at this guy. He's
56:58
unbelievable. He's so silly right now. I'm not
57:02
like Pat McAfee where I like just take off my
57:04
shirt and just yell and like, at least I do something
57:07
funny, actually. If you took off your shirt and
57:11
yelled, I would think that's really funny, Sean.
57:14
Well, I mean, like, Pat McAfee does that on a
57:17
weekly basis and he thinks he's fucking Jesus
57:22
of sports media, like personality. So I don't
57:28
think that at all. I'm just like, Oh, a beer.
57:32
My favorite. I love everybody clowning McAfee
57:39
though for taking this shirt off the game. Look
57:42
at this guy took his shirt off. I can't believe
57:45
it. You said that exact same thing at the tailgate.
57:50
Like you were like, wow, look at him. So zany.
57:57
Have you guys ever seen that before? A dude with
58:00
his shirt off? That McAfee's never done it. He
58:04
was just stunting for Caitlin Clark. That's true.
58:10
I mean, what was to say? Just saying. I mean,
58:24
you know, to each his own. She's not my type.
58:29
But you would, if you could. No, I'm happily
58:33
married. Well, that's the could part. That's
58:36
the could. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I guess
58:40
so. We're just going to sit here. We're just
58:47
going to sit here and lie. Like that's that's
58:49
what we're going to do. I'm saying I guess so.
58:53
Chris needs to answer. What? Chris? Yeah, I mean,
58:57
she's. Yeah. Why not? Star athlete. That's fucking
59:04
lost. God damn it. What? Did we go to overtime?
59:12
Yep lost. Well, we got a point so Whoa, it's
59:18
like kissing your sister It is not like kissing
59:21
your sister That's three points in three games
59:25
Could be a lot worse could be zero. Yeah. All
59:34
right, that's enough All right, or say do I do
59:39
want to end it? Um, I think I think we got time
59:47
for one more thing if we're I'm sorry, guys.
59:51
I had a long ass day. It's all right. I don't
59:53
really have much to contribute, but there's three
59:57
of us. It wasn't really like in terms of sporting
1:00:01
news, events, games. It wasn't like a super eventful
1:00:06
weekend. I think nothing really like, oh my God,
1:00:09
that's crazy. Like, yeah, we talked about Lane
1:00:11
Johnson retiring. That's crazy. But like, I don't
1:00:13
really know a whole lot about his reasoning.
1:00:15
I just saw that he retired. That's all he retired
1:00:18
and my immediate thought was oh boy another lineman
1:00:22
that Jalen hurts made forcibly retired it went
1:00:26
through the season like This is I didn't I think
1:00:33
Jason Kelsey like announced his retirement like
1:00:36
Midway through the season, but he was going to
1:00:39
play the rest of the season But Lane Johnson's
1:00:42
a bit different like he was immediate retire
1:00:45
but Mean when you see something like that when
1:00:49
it's just like I'm retiring right now That's
1:00:54
crazy in the middle of the season. That is pretty
1:00:56
fucking wild and it's just like I get it Eagles
1:01:00
not that good right now pretty mid He won a Super
1:01:05
Bowl and saying it since we've won. I don't think
1:01:09
they're exactly I think there's bad I hope so
1:01:13
like I just but They'll probably loot like I
1:01:18
think if they get boat raced in London by Jacksonville,
1:01:21
then I think they'll kind of turn it around.
1:01:24
Because this isn't like they're not a team where
1:01:26
like, because I was thinking about taking the
1:01:29
Jags because like the Eagles are not exactly
1:01:31
like a bounce, a great like bounce back team.
1:01:35
It's usually like, it just gets worse and worse
1:01:37
and worse and the bottom falls out and then they
1:01:40
kind of make like their comeback. It's not like,
1:01:43
oh, well, we've had a rough couple weeks. We'll
1:01:45
get back at it. It's like, no, it usually just
1:01:48
gets Almost as bad as it possibly can and then
1:01:51
they kind of start to figure it out Yeah, so
1:01:55
I think yeah if they get bitch slapped in london,
1:01:58
I think that could be their like kind of come
1:02:01
to jesus moment I mean They're still I mean they're
1:02:08
tied for leading the division right now Cowboys
1:02:12
are two and two eagles are two and two Giants
1:02:17
and commanders are back to the giants are three
1:02:19
and one. I say giants are three and one my mistake
1:02:23
Mean they haven't really played anyone like the
1:02:27
Cowboys that was good, but that was when their
1:02:29
whole team was healthy right I Should have been
1:02:35
Kevin McKenna first goal. This is playing the
1:02:39
fucking breads. Sorry. I Didn't think about that.
1:02:43
Yeah, I Got home right as the game was starting
1:02:49
so It's oh Did the NHL increase the season like
1:03:02
number of games in the season? I heard that like
1:03:06
on Twitter and I didn't fact -check it at all.
1:03:08
So Yes, when they negotiated the new CBA they
1:03:13
the players got a salary cap for the for the
1:03:20
the postseason and the the teams and the you
1:03:26
know, the Stooges corporate the corporate Stooges
1:03:29
they got two extra games. Okay, so there's 84.
1:03:34
Yes. Okay. That's what I heard. But I probably
1:03:38
heard it like three days ago, probably could
1:03:39
have checked it. But I was like, I'll ask Will,
1:03:42
I'll ask the hockey expert. Well, I have just
1:03:46
here. I'm gonna end it since Sean. Yeah, I don't
1:03:50
know what happened with Sean. Yeah, I don't know
1:03:51
about that. Alright, well, thank you so much
1:03:54
for listening. Thank you so much for watching
1:03:55
really appreciate it Please like comment subscribe
1:03:57
really hoping the video doesn't pop out as I'm
1:04:00
doing this outro So I'm just gonna get to it
1:04:03
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it. Alright, there's three of us now. Let's make
1:04:17
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