Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 35: awakening to possibility 🌻

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35: awakening to possibility 🌻 · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  This frequency of possibility is what I really want to tap into with you today and I want to share some stories from my own life of how embracing the notion, the energy, the frequency of possibility has unlocked so much meaningful connection, so many dreamy magical experiences that I'm excited to share with you.
• 0:20
  I think there's this amazing reclamation of delusion on the internet but let it not just be delusion for our own individualistic hopes and dreams and desires to manifest our own will. Let it also be a delusion that we apply to our collective dreams, we deserve people around us who make us feel more possible.
• 1:08
  The universe which is already whole, already as it is and as it should be and you have nothing lacking from your being.
• 1:17
  There may be pieces of your life that feel like they are lacking or out of alignment and I want to affirm that you in and of yourself are whole, are divine and are always already worthy of love, of compassion and of deep care as well as deep attention.
• 1:34
  I think so many of us don't feel truly heard or listened to and this contributes to the sense of loneliness that exists in our societies.
• 1:43
  It's not just physical and literal quote unquote loneliness but it's also an existential loneliness where people feel they cannot be their fullest or most authentic self because that would risk being rejected or misunderstood or unheard by the people around them.
• 2:00
  I'm calling this loneliness, that word has just been really speaking to me, this idea of being solely like your soul is lonely, you're feeling a spiritual or an emotional or an existential loneliness because you're not having the conversations you crave having when people around you are having conversations you kind of zone out and kind of look into the distance because you know that there's so many more deeply important things that you could be talking about but you don't have access to those types of conversations.
• 2:28
  And this feels isolating because you can feel alone in a crowd of people and so you gravitate to spaces especially in the virtual space or online where you truly feel that sense of deeper resonance where your soul feels fed into and fulfilled and mirrored back to you.
• 2:44
  I think we desire and need this kind of ideological and existential and spiritual alignment with our fellow beings, this idea that since we were never meant to kind of know more than 100 to 150 people and we were meant to subscribe to similar belief systems within that framework that was very holistic with the earth and with nature and ourselves as nature.
• 3:09
  When that fabric can be removed from some people you do get that isolation and that spiritual loneliness that results because so many of us hold very different views or values to the people directly around us in our immediate environment and also many people around us also may not have the space to engage with us at the level that we crave.
• 3:28
  So if you're listening to this I just had a feeling that that might speak to you let me know in the comments or in the comment of the podcast wherever you're watching or listening I'm grateful to be with you today.
• 3:38
  Today's episode or journey is all about possibility and it's such a hard opening word or concept.
• 3:48
  I think I have this feeling of being enlarged or taking up more space expanding rather than contracting.
• 3:56
  I think that the vibrational pull of possibility is so human we love to feel possible we love to be surrounded by people who make us feel more possible.
• 4:06
  You know those people who you share an idea with them and they build on it they say yes and and what if you and what if and oh have you ever thought about and they're just building you up and up and I think to the point of loneliness so many of so many people lack that.
• 4:21
  They don't have people who can dream big with them they don't have people who they feel safe sharing that part of themselves with and so there's that isolation of no one even knows what I dream of or what I aspire towards because it's not safe for me to share it.
• 4:35
  So if you're feeling that way I'm thinking of you and it's been so fulfilling for me to find friends and cultivate friendships that are vibrating on that level and so this frequency of possibility is what I really want to tap into with you today.
• 4:50
  And I want to share some stories from my own life of how possibility and either me or people in my life embodying and embracing the notion the energy the frequency of possibility has unlocked so much meaningful connection so many dreamy magical experiences that I'm excited to share with you.
• 5:11
  So we're going to talk about friendship and community we're going to talk about romantic relationships we're going to talk about conflict into personal conflict we're going to talk about creativity and we are going to talk about social change and the social level of the importance of possibility.
• 5:27
  So the first thing I want to get into with you today is that of friendship I think so often we are locked in this idea that I'll never meet people who I really resonate with or I'll never find community and I think that's so much structured especially if you're living in the West and it's very difficult in our world to make friends I think that is something that resonates in many cultures it's hard to make friends as an adult.
• 5:50
  And we continue to crave and seek these deep connections that always feel outside of our reach and I think for so many of us and I've experienced this when I moved to the US those were the loneliest years I just carried that deep inner isolation and loneliness for so many years and I think even when you do come out on the other side of that it does change you.
• 6:13
  And it does leave a mark like I'm I mean not even a mark that's two even one dimensional it's deeply felt I made friends eventually but I did feel a sense of deep loneliness and the friends I made we were able to speak about how isolating the town we were in was and it was kind of this shared recognition of how isolating our experience was even as we continue to bond.
• 6:35
  So what I wanted to speak about with regards to friendship and finding these vibrational soul siblings right that's the idea of a soul sibling it means we are vibrating on the same frequency or like on a frequency that is resonant you know the idea of resonating of feeling like I resonate with the frequency you are vibrating at.
• 6:57
  As we call in these friendships and these connections it's so important to embrace the energy of possibility and the reason why is when you believe love is possible connection is possible community is possible even if you haven't fully felt it.
• 7:16
  You move through the world you move through a room you move through spaces both virtual and in person differently and I want to give you a few stories from my life so my best friend currently we met at the end of university or college and we met in maybe my last year and we had a really dynamic and epic kind of connection but we weren't like deeply close we didn't see each other all the time it was not like that we just resonated with each other we're vibrating on a similar frequency.
• 7:44
  I still think that that exact chapter of my life I felt so unhappy in many different areas that the love was never fully able to like penetrate my being even though I made friends that I love I feel like there was just a part of my soul that was just like unalive at that time.
• 8:00
  So anyways but I do remember the one thing that he said is he came up to me once and he said you know I follow you on Facebook and you just have this star quality like you're going to be famous and essentially six years after that we hadn't spoken okay six years after that he deemed me on Instagram to ask me about the mental health challenges of being on TikTok and especially of going viral and he was like I love your content I've been following you I didn't even know that because you can't really see who's following you.
• 8:30
  And I just really love what you are sharing and how you're sharing your voice with the world and I'm obsessed with everything that you do and I would love to get your advice on how I deal with this because it's so paradoxical that going viral can actually lead to a mental health spiral because sometimes you go negatively viral and even when you go positively viral
• 8:49
  we're not geared or wired to receive that much feedback from people positive or negative or both and he reached out and I then responded and we got to voice noting and then after the voice noting we spoke on the phone and I want to just pause and let's dissect what the protagonists have just gone through okay.
• 9:09
  He had to believe in his heart that it was possible for me to read his DM and respond to it and resonate on some level with what he was saying and be willing to support him he asked for help that's what he did.
• 9:22
  And that unlocked this entire magical friendship that unfolded from there and we didn't even know that would be the case we had a long phone call and then we just kept having long phone calls and it kept being so shocking to me how much we had gone on these paths and spiritually found ourselves with so many aligned ways of seeing the world.
• 9:43
  We just knew instantly how to communicate at such a deep and profound level that honestly made me almost cry because I felt that I had never fully experienced like what that was like to share your deepest darkest secrets with someone to completely have a confidant and like a safe space and it just made me reflect on childhood things as well.
• 10:01
  And just really recognize that for so long it's been like I'm so sensitive that the people around me if I share my truth with them they can't really hold or support me through it so I just won't share it with them.
• 10:14
  I'll just live in my own little world and you know riots and journal and be in my private space and this will just be me and maybe one day when I meet a romantic partner I can be my full self.
• 10:23
  And I think so many of us part of our longing for romantic relationship is because that is the only relational structure that society deeply affirms us to speak out and express our longing to be deeply seen, deeply known and deeply felt.
• 10:41
  That longing for intimacy it's a little safe space in the relational world to express that longing through so some people say all I want is a romantic partner and the society will affirm them and say oh my word me too.
• 10:55
  And yet if someone says you know all I want is intimacy all I want is to be deeply known all I want is someone who really really listens to me because how many people on earth have someone in their life that deeply truly and with their fullest attention based on you know what they can often in terms of their attention.
• 11:10
  Listen to them it's actually such a gift it's very sacred it's very precious and because we weren't educated in it it's very rare and so what then happens is people who are good listeners they're carrying a really important role in our social fabric because they're playing this deeply important role to the human experience of I am the one who listens to you but the problem is it becomes disproportionate and they're their container the space that they're able to hold or we are able to hold as I consider myself a good listener.
• 11:38
  Becomes overfilled and there's a lack of reciprocity because we listen to people in ways that other people may not listen to us and so we find ourselves always in the role of being on the back end being the sidekick being the receiver rather than being received and I think when we meet a fellow receiver a fellow person who's used to who loves listening and is used to being in the listening role and we're able to match each other again to vibrate on a similar frequency of listening to you matters to me holding space for you matters to me.
• 12:08
  That is a magical connection and I was talking to my oldest brother about this about how you know as you grow and you realize oh I'm good at holding space for people I love listening to people I love sitting with people in the experience they're having and really like holding them and walking through it with them and unpacking all the little nooks and crannies of their consciousness.
• 12:27
  And also I am at a point in my life where I cannot give that and not also receive it in some way you know I don't want an emotionally one sided relationship I want a relationship where we can hold space for each other and he was processing one of his friendships that was very one sided where a friend would always kind of overload on him and then when it was time for him to share his truth would literally not care at all about what he had to say and so many of us have felt that pain.
• 12:53
  I think if you're listening to this you really have felt that pain of hearing but not being heard so coming back to my relationship with Alex we were able to really vibrate at that same frequency of I'm listening I want to know more there's nothing too much you could tell me I am here to receive and also to share and it was very very symbiotic I don't even know the right language for it but it was just like maybe even two waves of the same ocean finally meeting and just vibing together and creating this really safe space.
• 13:23
  But going to the central point of possibility he had to believe it was possible for us to reconnect.
• 13:53
  So often I've sat next to someone like maybe if I'm alone in a cafe or in a space and I kind of feel this energetic charge between us and I want to talk to them but I'm so scared that they won't want to talk to me or that I'll get rejected or that it will be embarrassing.
• 14:21
  I'm scared of the social risk of saying hello you know and so because I'm scared of them rejecting me and therefore I act as though they already have I interned reject myself I reject myself from the possibility and what I really want us to focus on in this realm of thought is if you add up all these micro decisions where we deny the possibilities available to us for love for connection where we move through a room as if no one wants to speak to us where we never reach out or we're going to be able to
• 14:51
  if we reach out and then we take too long to respond we think oh now I'm canceled from this relationship I can never respond again when you add up all these micro decisions.
• 15:00
  You see that it adds up to a really profound shift in the lives we can live or could be living what I mean by this is if we embraced every single little possibility that the universe invited us into.
• 15:15
  Imagine if you added all those tiny micro decisions up the magic that we could have come to experience within that now I do want to acknowledge of course not all possibilities end up working out to end up being as loving or as wonderful there are times we take a chance on people and we get deeply hurt or disappointed or at worst traumatized in some way so I don't want to undermine that at all.
• 15:37
  I want to hold the energy though that I'm building up to of love and possibility and connection and say that there are these many risks that we can take in expressing love towards the other or when expressing possibility towards the other.
• 15:50
  A difficult conversation you risk having a compliment you risk giving going up and saying hi to someone that you risk taking because you may be rejected or embarrassed expressing to someone your deep gratitude to them in words that you may fear they feel are too much being too much.
• 16:06
  All those little decisions which feel big in the moment but in practice maybe a few minutes of our lives added up can lead us to really magical places I mean this tiny decision he made unlocked a wall of possibility.
• 16:20
  That neither of us like I didn't manifest that it fell it literally like it fell into my lap love like I don't know what to tell you all I had to do was respond like he made it so easy.
• 16:34
  And yet there was so many worlds in which I never even saw his message or I didn't open the app or something like that or maybe I thought I'll respond to this later and then just never respond it you know so I'm just so grateful that we said yes to each other and that he carried that possibility through.
• 16:50
  Another example I want to give when it comes to possibility is conflict okay so I think conflict is something I feel so intrigued by the moment like my curiosity my aliveness my erotic energy is really being drawn to this topic if you're really drawn to this idea of how can we make conflict a safe and generative space and the reason why I'm feeling drawn to it I guess is twofold on the one hand.
• 17:15
  Something I've noticed to the point of small things adding up is when you have friendships where you make it a habit to never raise difficult conversations or feelings you may be having that similarly adds up and amounts to getting to a place where the friendship sometimes breaks because it can't handle the conflict that then results from all the built up kind of misunderstanding or resentment or pain or betrayal on both sides.
• 17:42
  I think that we notice in small ways or in big ways how someone is showing up or how we're showing up and then we don't necessarily trust ourselves or the relationship or friendship or the other person to be able to hold that conflict and that's because for most of us conflict has never been a safe space.
• 18:00
  So because we've been trained to think oh this means I'm bad or this means I'll get rejected or hurt or someone's going to attack me or or someone's going to criticize me or lash out at me or it's just going to be so uncomfortable and I won't be able to handle it.
• 18:14
  We then avoid the conflict but if you are in a friendship and you do that over yours you never have transparent and honest conversations.
• 18:21
  Then one day on a Tuesday something happens and it's like an explosion that's not always how it happens or what what else could happen is sometimes one of you or both of you gets to a place where you're like oh my word this is too hard I don't even want this.
• 18:36
  There's this and this and this and this and this and this wrong with this relationship but it's like you never gave the relationship a chance to handle any of those things.
• 18:43
  Of course now it feels so big and insurmountable because it was never addressed in the moment.
• 18:49
  What would it have taken to address it in the moment is embracing the possibility that that conflict could not necessarily sever the relationship or break it but instead deepen it, expand it.
• 19:01
  I read recently in the book the sensitive book that I'm reading that if you don't allow yourself to have conflict there are depths of knowing someone and being known you will never reach.
• 19:13
  Isn't that so powerful I'm going to say it again if you don't allow yourself to go there when it comes to conflict or difficult conversations.
• 19:22
  There are depths of being known or knowing someone depths of intimacy basically that you will never reach and I think what I was saying in the beginning is we all on a deep level seek to be known.
• 19:34
  I think that you know when I was in university I closest friend she would say intimacy is being known.
• 19:40
  And I thought that was such a fascinating way to look at it because no one had ever expressed it to me in that way because how many of us have no one or close to no one who really knows us like really knows us.
• 19:52
  And why is that well because there's that Gabor Mate quote of the fact that when we were children it was shown to us that it was not safe for us to be authentic to be ourselves.
• 20:03
  And we needed the approval of our caregivers in order to stay safe what we then did was sacrifice authenticity for their approval.
• 20:10
  But then it became baked into our being and consciousness that okay in order to be accepted by this person I have to be an authentic I have to pretend things are okay when they're not okay pretend to be fine when I'm not fine.
• 20:23
  I have to minimize my emotional reactions I have to always be almost witnessed by myself and judged about whether or not it's acceptable for me to act in a certain way.
• 20:34
  It's like I have to be a character rather than a person because a person has their feelings hurt a person requires things that sometimes may seem unrealistic or not okay to us for.
• 20:46
  You know sometimes we have needs or desires that we just want to express but we're so now policing ourselves and policed by the other that we don't feel safe in that expression.
• 20:55
  So when it comes to the intimacy of being known we have to understand that conflict is such a gateway to that safe conflict and now what I'm so grateful for is every time I do experience conflict with someone I'm close to.
• 21:06
  I'm like this is an invitation to practice a lifelong skill that I need to have the kind of relationships and friendships that I want.
• 21:13
  As uncomfortable as I am there is no way I can have the community that I desire or the friends that I desire and I desire the friends that I have if I'm not willing to go there.
• 21:24
  And in order to go there I have to believe it's possible to go there safely to go there not be rejected.
• 21:29
  So my big fear with difficult conversations is that what if they reject me or what if the friendship ends and or it's going to be uncomfortable in a way that I can't cope with or I'm going to be unliked or I have a feeling that I should not feel quote unquote.
• 21:41
  And I learned in therapy that.
• 21:44
  Shoulding like should I shouldn't feel this I shouldn't feel jealous I shouldn't feel angry is just a way of conditioning yourself emotionally rather than listening to yourself we often fear in that expression that we're going to be judged because we're so used to judging ourselves.
• 22:00
  So when it comes to conflict it is possible that this conflict will deepen our connection.
• 22:05
  It is possible that this is an invitation from the universe to practice what it looks like to be in loving conflict with someone.
• 22:12
  It is possible for me to not betray myself in this conflict that's another thing we hold is the wound of not showing up for ourselves and then afterwards having all the things we wish we said to advocate for ourselves.
• 22:24
  So conflict is a space where we can carry more of that energy of possibility what if we become even closer what if I learn something about this person that I never knew before what if we become that much more in tune with each other what if our frequencies are able to resonate and an even deeper level what if this conflict will make other conflicts even easier like a muscle that I'm growing with this person.
• 22:48
  And also like what if I learn something I think is a really interesting question about this person that I didn't even know because it's often not about the conflict itself it's about what that conflict represents to someone.
• 22:58
  Okay so let's continue because we are talking about possibilities and I'm just always taking you on a wondering me under you know a walk a journey through my consciousness and just letting whatever shows up show up.
• 23:12
  But the third I think thing that I want to share with you is the notion of possibility within the context of romantic relationships where I think so much of the energy of impossibility has instead been embraced in a way that alienates us from each other and actually diminishes the possibilities for love that can exist through us and between us.
• 23:33
  So how often do we say or hear statements like I could never date someone who I would never marry someone who I could never love someone who so it's always about disqualifying people and hyper fixating on what makes someone unqualified to be a source of love in our lives.
• 23:52
  Rather than the openness and the possibility of you know I think I would never get along with someone and obviously this is all you know there are levels I do think there are some values that you can say I would never date someone who believed X or who felt X or who did X but I'm talking you've heard the range of very surface level superficial actually let me use a more loving word.
• 24:15
  I think there's a very huge disconnect between the depth of frequency of love and the shallowness of frequency of what people think disqualifies someone from being loved or lovable and I think in that gap are so many possibilities for love that could exist in our planet.
• 24:33
  If only we let them manifest through us if only we didn't have such a mindset of like I could never love X and therefore I will not even have eyes for X or feeling for X instead of like I think that this wouldn't be interesting to me but I could be wrong I'm going to move through with possibility and I think such a testament to this is if you ask many people in relationships that are thriving because I mean there's a many relationships that are not in fact most are not.
• 24:59
  If you ask them if you saw this person on a dating app would you have chosen them they're like absolutely not I could never have predicted that this was going to be the person that I ended up with and I know obviously many people meet online and I'm not diminishing that at all I'm just saying a lot of those people who say oh I never thought I would end up with someone like this.
• 25:18
  It's rare that those people made online because online you're literally filtering people out so you're less likely to allow yourself to be surprised because you're like no no if I'm going to leave my house and go meet this person.
• 25:28
  They better check my boxes and I think the whole energy around box checking is such an opposite of possibility mindset because it's saying I already know what would make me happy in someone.
• 25:40
  I already have everything and I'm just looking for someone who matches what I already know versus it's okay to have the values that I'm looking for in someone.
• 25:48
  It's okay to have the energies or the traits that I'm looking for in someone and because I am not an all knowing being the thinking that like oh I'm the one who gets to qualify unqualified who gets to be in my life and I create my reality versus we live in a shared reality that also creates us.
• 26:07
  Like no one would have chosen systemic oppression no one would have chosen like the accidents that happen or the traumas that happen and so very few people actually create their own reality truly but anyways essentially there's any go excited of mine that comes with a lot of the culture around dating.
• 26:23
  Like everyone exists to please me and when they start pleasing me I'm cutting them off I'm detaching versus we are co-creating a relationship and when the relationship isn't working we will find ways to mend that relationship.
• 26:37
  So it's I read this amazing quote from Tony Morrison in the book the source of self regard and what she says is I refuse the prison of I and I choose the open spaces of we and I think that's such a powerful quote I refuse the prison of I and I choose the open spaces of we the collective space is filled with possibilities when we are trapped in an individualistic state we're always going to suffer because we'll be isolated from the other when we are social beings.
• 27:06
  And we will put ourselves on a pedestal that will often cause us to suffer there's like an egoic state in the I space whereas in the we space it's more about what could be right for the collective not in a self sacrificial way but just in an understanding that we also exist through and for each other we can't thrive without each other essentially.
• 27:24
  And I think that quote she's saying the I space of prison so you can't achieve the liberation the expansion the joy the love in the I space that can only happen in the we space which is fertile and full of generative possibilities.
• 27:39
  So within the romantic relationship I'm just inviting you to embrace more possibility the idea that I think I want X and and you could even reflect on what are things in your life or people in your life or opportunities in your life that you you could have sworn you would hate that would not work out but they have been magical or they've been you've learned something meaningful not in a toxic suffering way but in a like generative and uplifting way.
• 28:06
  Things that your youngest self couldn't have said this would be the thing this would be the friend or this would be the job or this would be the the habit or this would be the vibe the energy the party even it could be it doesn't have to be so big it could be oh I thought I'd hate that event so that party or experience but I loved it happens to me literally all the time I'm like oh my word I do not want to go to this thing and then afterwards I'm like that was an incredible experience doesn't happen to me all the time let's be serious but like at least once every three months I have one of those experiences where I'm like blown up.
• 28:36
  I'm going to be in a way by the magic of other people when in my mind I had already fixed the other as an experience I wouldn't enjoy like sometimes we decide we fix each other so we say you're going to be like this or this party is going to be like this this collective space is going to be like this these people are going to be like that rather than you know what anything is possible it is possible that I will meet someone interesting or that I'll have a great conversation or something magical will happen even the smallest moment and I'll take that with me and I think that is really amazing I think that is really amazing.
• 29:06
  I recently spent time with one of my brothers friends and I felt nervous I was like anxious because we'd never hung out without my brother and I was like oh like I don't know how this is going to be it was amazing it was wonderful we got on so well and I was just an example of like how so often we've decided beforehand like this isn't going to work or this is just bringing me anxiety so therefore my anxiety is right versus your anxiety is always rooted in what could go wrong and reality can sometimes offer you all the things that could go right not all
• 29:36
  always but like there is magic to the chaos and the uncertainty is so connected to the possibility and that's why I think we reject possibility because uncertainty does not feel safe and good to us so we say oh no this is not possible for me when sometimes a genuine be is I could have decided it wasn't possible to enjoy that time with her and been like you know what no I don't want to go and then I would have blocked myself all from such a wonderful conversation and like just person in my life now so I just think like people can be so magical and obviously I've had many experiences that I have not
• 30:06
  enjoyed anyways I'm going to continue to keep going to proceed so the second to the last topic that I think
• 30:12
  possibility can really offer us a lot within is creativity so creativity is pure possibility when I started this
• 30:19
  episode I had this whole script written for what I would say but I just started talking and that's
• 30:24
  actually not what ended up I mean most of the points came up but I'm not reading word by word what I
• 30:28
  wrote because the creative process always unlocks so much uncertainty of just things that come up and
• 30:35
  I love embracing that I love thinking a whole podcast episode will be about X thing and then
• 30:40
  meandering and letting it be Y thing why because this is an energetic offering and the best I can do
• 30:46
  is give my fullest energy and be like you know what whatever happened in these 40 minutes I gave
• 30:51
  did I gave you know like afterwards I feel both like I received because it's a really sacred space
• 30:58
  to me and also I gave and I was present I wasn't trying to follow a specific regimented part I had
• 31:06
  a path I had a plan but I let myself just dance with it and really be where the moment took me
• 31:12
  and I think that is a really special experience to allow ourselves I just think of this image of
• 31:17
  children making a mess just that idea as adults were so afraid of making a mess and I learned this
• 31:22
  from Mandy if you're listening to this on our conversation on the creative process and she was
• 31:28
  saying she's afraid of making a mess and I just want to tell you by the way if you're listening to
• 31:32
  this and you're interested next year I will be starting one-on-one coaching sessions for creativity
• 31:37
  your creative process I love the one-on-one experience of helping people bring out their creative
• 31:43
  works but also sit with the spiritual side of that the shadow side all the fears the doubts the
• 31:48
  deep sense of shame and fearing being seen or fearing completing projects fearing taking whatever
• 31:54
  you're doing to a level that you feel you could be or want to be doing it at so I'm really excited
• 31:59
  to deepen that connection with some of you like I can't wait for that to happen and it will be a
• 32:04
  paid experience and that exchange of energy which I think money is is going to deepen what I'm
• 32:12
  then able also to bring to the podcast so I'm very very excited to be taking that step I'm also
• 32:17
  extremely nervous and fearful especially I don't know there's something about charging for your
• 32:22
  work and your time that always is so daunting and at the same time I'm holding myself through the
• 32:26
  fact that I have given so many hours and hours of free content and time and energy and I would do
• 32:33
  it all again and I love this and I love the connection we're able to share and also at the same time
• 32:38
  I want to make the sustainable and so I'm holding myself through this this next step and I'm nervous
• 32:43
  about it but I think it's for the best and any criticism or backlash or just things that people
• 32:49
  have to say I have to accept as part of the journey because this is the step I feel is most
• 32:53
  aligned for me and I need to take it like I just feel it in my bones this is what I'm meant to be
• 32:58
  doing this is how I'm meant to be calling money into this universe that I'm building and that
• 33:04
  it's only going to allow me to keep giving more and to keep connecting more and feel really full
• 33:10
  and sustainable like I can continue doing this work because only like 2% of my substock subscribers
• 33:16
  pay for my work so I'm thinking okay that part it's it's amazing it's fulfilling and it's working
• 33:21
  and I want it to stay super accessible so is there another path and channel I can unlock for
• 33:25
  people who can afford it and I can continue to bring the most important lessons I'm learning
• 33:30
  to the work so anyways watch out for this space but back to this idea of creativity possibilities
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  always come up in the creative process that I think it's really important to embrace if you want to
• 33:41
  tap into this further I suggest my podcast episode on letting it become because that is all about
• 33:46
  embracing uncertainty embracing the possibility and not staying so fixed and rigid in what has to
• 33:53
  be the case but rather allowing a space to let something become what that space may be inviting that
• 34:00
  seed into and just seeing it all as seeds that deserve to exist in the world and that we have no
• 34:05
  control over how they sit with or sink into the consciousness the hearts the minds the souls of
• 34:11
  others okay and I think that's really beautiful so I'm going to leave that on that the last glorious
• 34:18
  point that I want to talk about when we speak about possibility is the idea of social change
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  that idea that I shared the quote from Nelson Mandela that I often come back to and that is the
• 34:30
  quote that says it always seems impossible until it's done if you really let these words sink in they
• 34:36
  can apply to from the smallest goal in mind that you have to like the biggest dream you have for
• 34:42
  society and hopefully we are that's where we are now at this part of the episode is that all our
• 34:47
  wildest dreams for how we could be configured as a society as cultures of the world as societies of
• 34:53
  the world they may seem idealistic or impossible or just rooted in a dream fairy tale existence like I
• 35:02
  feel like I am often the one in certain spaces that comes across as really idealistic and I am because
• 35:08
  of what I believe could be possible and because of what I believe can align in terms of our actions
• 35:15
  when we believe something is possible so this is a very important point we are people whose worldview
• 35:22
  needs to cohere so we're not going to act towards a world that we literally don't believe in at all
• 35:27
  so when we introduce the belief of possibility we then also introduce the possibilities for the
• 35:32
  actions that align to that belief and so many of us are beneficiaries from this way of feeling and
• 35:38
  thinking and seeing so many people had to believe it was possible for blacks or the Africans to end
• 35:43
  the partates for African Americans to end slavery or both of which in name we know that the structures
• 35:49
  of these systems are so deeply entrenched and in place and yet we must also celebrate all the activists
• 35:56
  and poets and we must never forget that we are the beneficiaries of the dreams of so many of our
• 36:01
  ancestors and forebears and freedom fighters and revolutionaries and artists and poets and scholars
• 36:08
  and thinkers and feelers and healers okay it's so important that how dare we not dream when so many
• 36:15
  have dreamed not so that we could be here because I think their dreams have still not been realized
• 36:20
  but so many anti-colonial liberators so many anti-apartheid fighters so many anti-slavery abolitionists
• 36:29
  so many freedom fighters of all kinds have fought for a more free and a more loving and a less colonial
• 36:37
  and a less patriarchal and a less heteronormative and a less anti-black and a less anti-fat and a less
• 36:43
  colorist and a less imperialist world and so on right can't name them all and so how dare we not
• 36:51
  how dare we not believe another world is possible and on this topic of social change I always come
• 36:59
  back to Arundati Roy's quote that I'll play her voice saying another world is not only possible
• 37:06
  she's on her way maybe many of us won't be here to greet her but on a quiet day if I listen very
• 37:14
  carefully I can hear her breathing thank you another world is not only possible but on her way
• 37:22
  on a quiet day I can hear her breathing and isn't that so wonderful and I think even in the face of
• 37:30
  so much suffering that we are processing and that we are I mean I'm so privileged to be talking
• 37:36
  about it rather than be in it I think we can feel on a spiritual level that we as a collective are
• 37:42
  not the same as we were the language that we are conceiving our reality through the conclusions we
• 37:48
  are making the actions we are willing to take a new consciousness is among us my people and I
• 37:55
  think it's been accelerated of course by social media by all the healing and the criticism of
• 38:01
  capitalism and and see blackness and the shift in focusing on care and love that so many people
• 38:09
  are advancing in their work and then that is able to reach a global scale I think it's just so
• 38:14
  evident that we are not who we were and that another world really is on her way and I have to
• 38:20
  believe that as delusional as it may be we should be delusional I think there's this amazing
• 38:25
  reclamation of delusion on the internet but let it not just be delusion for our own individualistic
• 38:31
  hopes and dreams and desires to manifest our own will but let it also be a delusion that we
• 38:37
  apply to our collective dreams the delusion to believe that we can live in community again we
• 38:43
  can return to being deeply connected to the earth we can return to eradicating forms of oppression
• 38:51
  like anti-blackness like homophobia like all the isms that exist on our planet and it may seem
• 38:57
  delusional but again it's only the belief in the delusion that will create the possibility that
• 39:03
  that delusion can manifest as reality on this planet earth okay and we can feel the shift and our
• 39:10
  role is to just keep pushing and it may in the in the universe's eye it's just a little feather
• 39:17
  push but when you add all that feather pushes together it really can become something and I think
• 39:21
  we all have such different roles to play in this story and tapping into what each of ours could be
• 39:26
  knowing we can never be doing enough like I never feel like I'm doing enough and that is that's
• 39:32
  just the nature of what we're up against but I just want to say that it remains possible and I
• 39:38
  feel like I must believe it is possible in order to act in alignment with that possibility so
• 39:43
  today we took such a journey we spoke about possibility in so many different walks of life we
• 39:48
  spoke about carrying the energetic vibe and vibration of possibility in our friendships so that we
• 39:54
  can know that strangers could be our next deepest and most darkest secret loving sharing friends
• 40:00
  we spoke about possibility in the realm of conflict and how sometimes when we feel safe to
• 40:06
  we can invite the idea that it's possible that this conflict can deepen our connection to each other
• 40:11
  we spoke about possibility in the romantic space the idea that we shouldn't close off the other
• 40:16
  from being a possible subject of our love that ego and love can never exist in the same place and I
• 40:22
  have a podcast episode on romantic loving that goes into more of my thoughts around love and romantic
• 40:28
  love and there's two parts to that little series we spoke about possibility within the creative
• 40:34
  process and how much it's so important to embrace the uncertainty even as it's so uncomfortable
• 40:40
  because it's something we've never been taught to sit with and because we are evolutionarily
• 40:44
  wired to avoid uncertainty and to stick to what we know to stick to certainty but that
• 40:50
  it is through that uncertainty that the possibility comes through that some of the magic of the chaos
• 40:55
  comes through we spoke about possibility within the realm of social change and how it's so important
• 41:01
  to cling to the idea of who we could be knowing that it may seem unrealistic now but that we
• 41:08
  are benefiting so much from the dreams that once seemed impossible of ancestors and forebares
• 41:14
  some of which but definitely not all of which have at least in certain manifestations
• 41:19
  being realized so we can never stop dreaming okay and I know sometimes our dreams feel worn down
• 41:25
  and it feels like the possibilities are just not showing up but I just want to invite you to remember
• 41:30
  that that energy or possibility is always available for us to tap into and we deserve people around us
• 41:37
  who make us feel more possible there's nothing more energizing than that than people who don't drain
• 41:44
  us but who energize and who build us up and build up our possibilities because I think we have this
• 41:49
  deep human need even if we don't act on all our possibilities to feel possible and I don't just
• 41:55
  mean in our careers and dreams I mean possible to love yourself as you are possible to accept that
• 42:00
  you are whole possible to accept that this actually nothing wrong with you as much as it seems
• 42:07
  impossible that you could ever come to the state of belief that that is true just inviting the
• 42:12
  possibility that there's nothing wrong with you you are whole there are so many industries that
• 42:16
  stand to benefit from you believing otherwise so of course you believe otherwise because that's the
• 42:21
  air that you've breathed your entire life brother breathed breathed your entire life
• 42:26
  and the individuals mindset cannot overcome the whole society's conditioning you're being
• 42:32
  gaslit constantly right so of course you don't feel enough when you've been told in so many
• 42:37
  different ways that you're not enough in so many ways you've been told that so why would you just
• 42:41
  believe that on your own one person's willpower of their belief cannot overcome the actual
• 42:48
  actions of the society that go against that belief so possibility people who make us feel more
• 42:54
  possible not only that we can experience love and are lovable but that love is experienced through
• 43:01
  us that we are manifestations of love on this planet i'm sending you so much love this episode
• 43:07
  became something i could not have really foretold and it's so interesting because when i record it
• 43:11
  i'm like yes when i edit it i'm like no but i'm going to let this exist i hope this reaches your
• 43:17
  ears if it does i'm celebrating i hope you celebrate with me we are on this journey together and
• 43:23
  it's always an expansion for me and i really hope that it is for you i'm sending all the love and
• 43:29
  i'm thinking of you i'm sending love your way have a beautiful day i'll see you next week bye
• 43:36
  i hope some paradigms have been shifted for you in today's conversation as always if you can
• 43:40
  please leave a five star rating on apple and spotify like comment subscribe i love you so so much
• 43:46
  okay i love you join me on my sub stack links in the comment section go there okay love you so much
• 43:53
  love you bye