Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1108 - The Roblox War

Transcript

#1108 - The Roblox War · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:04
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
0:07
Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
0:10
Speaker 2: wants answers.
0:11
Speaker 1: Now, we're going to have some problems in today's I'll
0:15
Speaker 1: do a Better Tomorrow. We're quibling over whose story Today's
0:20
Speaker 1: I'll do better Tomorrow is, and it's mine. I can
0:22
Speaker 1: tell you that right now. The other thing is if
0:27
Speaker 1: I leave your microphone, if I get it, oh that's unfair.
0:30
Speaker 1: Let me send it on.
0:31
Speaker 2: You're so squack.
0:34
Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Wilson. I'm here with my wife
0:37
Speaker 1: and mum. We our six kids. Had a really cool
0:39
Speaker 1: experience the other day. We've gone for our bike ride
0:42
Speaker 1: because you're now getting fit. And following the bike ride,
0:46
Speaker 1: I went and had my swim down at the local pool.
0:48
Speaker 1: Bashed out a couple of kays in the pool, and
0:50
Speaker 1: on the way back, I thought, I'll stop and check
0:52
Speaker 1: the surf, because not that I have time to do everything,
0:55
Speaker 1: but I'm going to have a look at the surf.
0:56
Speaker 1: And it was really good, and I wanted to hang
0:58
Speaker 1: around there for a while, but I had work to do.
1:01
Speaker 1: But I was standing there and somebody said, oh my goodness,
1:05
Speaker 1: I can't believe who I'm standing next to, and I
1:08
Speaker 1: just love it when people know who I am and
1:10
Speaker 1: want to say hi because we've made a difference in
1:11
Speaker 1: their lives. And it was Jess who listened to the
1:14
Speaker 1: podcast visiting the Sunshine Coast from Melbourne with her husband
1:17
Speaker 1: and they had a great chat while we watched the
1:20
Speaker 1: surf and it was it's just beautiful. I love when
1:22
Speaker 1: people say hi. Thanks for saying hi, Jess. All right,
1:25
Speaker 1: I'd about it tomorrow. For those of you who a
1:26
Speaker 1: knew to the pod, this is where we have a
1:27
Speaker 1: look at the week that was, talk about what worked
1:29
Speaker 1: and what didn't and how it can be better parents.
1:31
Speaker 1: It's about intentionality and mindfulness in our parentings so that
1:33
Speaker 1: we can I don't know, raise happy, resilient kids. That's
1:36
Speaker 1: the goal. So I guess we're going to have to
1:39
Speaker 1: share this one.
1:41
Speaker 2: Well, I've got the piece of paper to prove it's
1:43
Speaker 2: my story.
1:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, the piece of paper was given to me that
1:47
Speaker 1: you didn't read. It's not that I didn't read it.
1:50
Speaker 1: It was about timing. It was timing. So here's the deal.
1:54
Speaker 1: On what day was it? Monday? I think it was Monday.
1:56
Speaker 1: You had to go down to Brizzy because we're homeschooling
1:58
Speaker 1: our youngest two. You took them with you. One of
2:00
Speaker 1: them decided to stay Grandma's for a couple of days.
2:02
Speaker 1: But our ten year old Emily got to hang out
2:04
Speaker 1: with one of her besties in our old neighborhood. While
2:07
Speaker 1: she was there, they played roadblocks. I think did they
2:10
Speaker 1: play roadblocks? No, they talked about roadblocks. They talked about
2:14
Speaker 1: roadblocks and no stop. And that night, I don't know,
2:19
Speaker 1: you'd gone for a walk with Abby, our second eldest,
2:21
Speaker 1: along the beach and Emily came into the office right
2:24
Speaker 1: before I was about to run a webinar for Cherrybrook
2:28
Speaker 1: Technology High School parents. And right at the start of
2:32
Speaker 1: the webinar, just before we pressed go, she walked in
2:34
Speaker 1: and said, Dad, I need to talk to you. Have
2:37
Speaker 1: to talk to you, And I said, not a great time.
2:40
Speaker 1: She handed me a piece of paper. When it comes
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Speaker 1: to homeschool, the one thing you can't get Emily to
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Speaker 1: do is write. She just hates holding the pencil of
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Speaker 1: the pan, hates writing anything, winges, complains, wines, moans, and
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Speaker 1: we'll do anything to get out of writing. Except that
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Speaker 1: on Monday night she had me this list with fourteen
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Speaker 1: perfectly the best handwriting have done fourteen beautifully written statements
3:04
Speaker 1: about why she should have roadblocks and all this week.
3:11
Speaker 1: I mean, we've had tantrums, she's run away from the house.
3:15
Speaker 1: It's been the roadblocks. Wars have begun. That's my story.
3:21
Speaker 1: That's that's my old butt. It's tomorrow.
3:23
Speaker 2: How are you going to be better?
3:27
Speaker 1: Actually, my very simple take home message is that if
3:30
Speaker 1: she had come to us with a list outlining or
3:33
Speaker 1: let's say our fifteen or a sixteen year old, let's
3:35
Speaker 1: our sixteen year old Annie, who sorry, she's seventeen now,
3:37
Speaker 1: she's got a piece a couple of weeks ago. If
3:39
Speaker 1: she'd come to us with a list when she was
3:41
Speaker 1: sixteen and nine months and said, Dad, I can drive.
3:44
Speaker 1: I've done my hours, I've demonstrated confidence in the car.
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Speaker 1: Here's my list of fourteen reasons why I should just
3:49
Speaker 1: be allowed to drive to school on my own. Now,
3:51
Speaker 1: it'd be a great list, but as the parent, I'd
3:53
Speaker 1: say no. In this case, it is actually illegal for
3:57
Speaker 1: you to do that. But outside of that, as a parent,
4:00
Speaker 1: going to say no, why because sometimes his parents just
4:02
Speaker 1: got to say no. Because you're interested in protecting your kids,
4:04
Speaker 1: keeping them safe. That's our job. And when it comes
4:07
Speaker 1: to issues of kids being online. I'm sorry, but I
4:12
Speaker 1: know that I know that Emily's the only kid on
4:14
Speaker 1: the planet who's not on roadblocks. I mean, she's given
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Speaker 1: us the list of every single one of her friends
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Speaker 1: who is on roadblocks, and it's a comprehensive list. And
4:23
Speaker 1: she's also promised us and assured us that she'll only
4:26
Speaker 1: play in public. She'll play with sound off. She's not
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Speaker 1: going to friend anybody that she doesn't know. She's aware
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Speaker 1: of it.
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Speaker 2: She watched parental guidance.
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Speaker 1: She was pro she's aware of the risks, dangers and
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Speaker 1: concerns that we have. But as a parent, sometimes you
4:39
Speaker 1: just say no. And she's ten and I said no,
4:43
Speaker 1: and so I'm the worst out in the world. She
4:45
Speaker 1: knows that I still love her. We've had cuddles and
4:47
Speaker 1: we've had good talks, but I'm the worst out in
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Speaker 1: the world, and my older better tomorrow is I'm okay
4:52
Speaker 1: with that for now. I mean, it's really sad. Conversations
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Speaker 1: are ongoing, negotiations have not yet ceased, but I'm feeling
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Speaker 1: the lit a bit worn down by it, to be honest,
5:01
Speaker 1: because this is the thing. When parents don't band together,
5:04
Speaker 1: when parents don't form community. See what I'm doing here.
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Speaker 1: I'm blaming every parent that's listening to this podcast right now.
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Speaker 1: Let's their kids beyond roadblocks because I'm struggling with it
5:12
Speaker 1: and I don't want her to be on there. It's
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Speaker 1: just I mentioned this the other day in a podcast.
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Speaker 1: It is literally, by design, a place where people with
5:24
Speaker 1: ill intent, adults with ill intent can access and communicate
5:29
Speaker 1: with a huge number of children at scale. That's what happens.
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Speaker 1: And is it likely that our child will be approached?
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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I don't want to take that risk.
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Speaker 1: To me, it's too big of a risk. Anyway, that's
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Speaker 1: my older tomorrow. I don't know if that was a
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Speaker 1: fun one or an inspiring one, or if I just
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Speaker 1: sound like a big grump kylie, what's your old tomorrow?
6:00
Speaker 2: Well, let me read you the list.
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Speaker 1: Never done one like this before. By the way, I'm
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Speaker 1: usually upbeat. I'm really inspired. I'm trying to help everyone
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Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, you can do this. Let's say the.
6:10
Speaker 2: List Number one, I'll only play Brookhaven with Patrick and
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Speaker 2: my street friends Jessic, Sasha, Ali Harper and Olivia and
6:18
Speaker 2: some other friends. There's a few in there. There are
6:20
Speaker 2: number two some games don't even give the talking ability.
6:23
Speaker 2: Number three. I'm not going to tell someone my whole
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Speaker 2: life story so that they can kidnap me or say
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Speaker 2: mean things. Number four. If they say inappropriate things, then
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Speaker 2: I will tell you, and I can contact roeblocks and
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Speaker 2: they will be banned forever. Number five. I will ban
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Speaker 2: everyone who I don't know from my house. Number six.
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Speaker 2: No one has the same usernames, so I will memorize
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Speaker 2: all my friends' usernames. Number seven. They have smooth and
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Speaker 2: amazing graphics.
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Speaker 1: I love this, smooth and amazing graphics. I've got to
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Speaker 1: be allowed.
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Speaker 2: Number eight. I can make my own characters looks and
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Speaker 2: save them, and I can make more. Number nine. There
7:01
Speaker 2: are no inappropriate clothing options, and you can change your
7:05
Speaker 2: face and have children and even pets. Number ten. I
7:09
Speaker 2: won't spend your actual money on roadblocks. Number eleven, it's
7:13
Speaker 2: like living my dream future. And house twelve it'll be
7:18
Speaker 2: perfect for long car drives. Thirteen. Anyone can watch me play,
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Speaker 2: so nothing bad happens. And fourteen everyone has it all right.
7:27
Speaker 1: Well, I've got my own list. Are you ready for this?
7:28
Speaker 1: This is something that I'm taking from Hindenburg Research. I
7:31
Speaker 1: talked about them on the podcast recently. Hindenburg Research is
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Speaker 1: a stock market analyst company, and they basically point to
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Speaker 1: companies that are going to be in trouble soon and
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Speaker 1: they're holding that Roadblocks will be.
7:42
Speaker 2: That you've got ninety seconds. You're not hijacking this anymore.
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Speaker 1: Hindenburg Research dot com slash Roadblocks Beyond inflated key user metrics,
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Speaker 1: Hindenburg's in game research revealed an x rated pedophile healthscape
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Speaker 1: exposing children of grooming, pornography, violent content, extremely abusive speech.
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Speaker 1: Number two. Roadblocks is compromising child safety and order report
8:00
Speaker 1: to investigators per their interview with a former senior product
8:03
Speaker 1: designer who said, and I quote, if you're limiting users engagement,
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Speaker 1: it's hurting your metrics in a lot of cases, the
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Speaker 1: leadership doesn't want that. Number three. For the second quarter
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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four and a push towards profitability, Roadblocks
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Speaker 1: reported a two percent year over year decline and its
8:15
Speaker 1: trust and safety expenses. Number four. Court of the problem
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Speaker 1: is that Roadblocks's social media features allow pedophiles to efficiently
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Speaker 1: target hundreds of children with no upfront screening to prevent
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Speaker 1: them from joining the platform. Number five. For example, in
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Speaker 1: twenty eighteen. Prior to Roadblocks going public, a twenty nine
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Speaker 1: year old was caught by police with one hundred and
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Speaker 1: seventy five hours of video footage of Hymn grooming and
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Speaker 1: engaging in explicit behavior with one hundred and fifty miners
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Speaker 1: using online platforms, namely Roadblocks. Number six. Media and nonprofit
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Speaker 1: expose as from twenty twenty three to July twenty twenty
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Speaker 1: four revealed digital strip clubs, red light districts, sex parties,
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Speaker 1: and child predators looking on Roadblocks. The National Center on
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Speaker 1: Sexual Exploitation in twenty twenty four labeled Roadblocks quote a
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Speaker 1: tool for sexual predators, a threat for children safety close
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Speaker 1: quote number seven. Numerous criminal indictments from twenty nineteen through
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Speaker 1: to twenty twenty four alleged that sexual predators groomed children
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Speaker 1: in game, ranging from eight to fourteen year olds, then kidnapped, raped,
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Speaker 1: or traded sexual content with them. Next one, following years
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Speaker 1: of scandals, Hindenburg performed their own checks to see if
9:19
Speaker 1: the platform had cleaned up its act. As a test,
9:21
Speaker 1: they attempted to set up an account under the name
9:23
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Epstein, only to see the name was taken along
9:27
Speaker 1: with nine hundred plus variations Let's go again. Many were
9:31
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Epstein fan accounts, including jeff Epstein's Supporter, which had
9:36
Speaker 1: earned multiple badges for spending time in kids games. Other
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Speaker 1: jeff Epstein accounts had the user name I Groom Minors
9:45
Speaker 1: and I'm not even gonna say the other one because
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Speaker 1: it's so offensive. It makes me want to weep. And
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Speaker 1: I can just keep on going and going and going.
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Speaker 1: We'll link to it. Hindenburg Research dot Com slash roadblocks.
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Speaker 1: I'm getting passionate about it. You want and gave me
10:00
Speaker 1: ninety seconds, but I could keep on going. Have a
10:03
Speaker 1: listen to this one. In the game beat Up the Pregnant,
10:07
Speaker 1: users hated pregnant women to death in a Walmart parking
10:12
Speaker 1: lot with machetes, or killed them with frying pans or
10:14
Speaker 1: a selection of guns. What about this one? We played
10:17
Speaker 1: guns Work at Hospital, say the Hindenburg team, where users
10:21
Speaker 1: can go on a hospital shooting rampage. The game has
10:25
Speaker 1: more than one point six million visits and remains on
10:28
Speaker 1: the platform with no age restrictions. The game's thumb nail
10:32
Speaker 1: is a picture of a terrified pregnant woman. Parents have
10:36
Speaker 1: no idea how bad this thing is, and that's why
10:39
Speaker 1: their kids are on there. Now. I know that there's
10:41
Speaker 1: all sorts of restrictions, I know there's all sorts of
10:43
Speaker 1: ways that you can keep your kids safe, and I
10:45
Speaker 1: know that forty million plus kids are on there every
10:48
Speaker 1: single day. I don't care. I'm not letting my daughter
10:51
Speaker 1: on there.
10:52
Speaker 2: Well, thanks for that comprehensive Liz.
10:54
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I'll do better tomorrow. Mate, how are you
10:58
Speaker 1: going to be odd?
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Speaker 2: Don't even though where to go from.
11:01
Speaker 1: Well, you wanted to talk about the list, and you
11:02
Speaker 1: want to talk about the emotions, and you're right. I
11:05
Speaker 1: have hijackted and I love hijacked because I'm so frustrated
11:09
Speaker 1: with the fact that this product is out there and
11:11
Speaker 1: it is mass marketed to our kids, and parents are
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Speaker 1: blase and apathetic and say, no, we're fine.
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Speaker 2: So the challenge is it's easy to assume, based on
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Speaker 2: the fact that Emily has brought me this big, long
11:22
Speaker 2: list of all the reasons why she should be able
11:24
Speaker 2: to play roadblocks, that this is about a video game,
11:28
Speaker 2: but it's actually not. And that is the challenge as parents.
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Speaker 2: Our children give us stimulus on any given day, and
11:38
Speaker 2: we either accept it for what it appears to be,
11:44
Speaker 2: or we take the time to explore, explain, and empower
11:49
Speaker 2: our kids as we recognize what the core root is.
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Speaker 2: So I sat down with Emily after she had run
11:55
Speaker 2: away from home for half an hour or so. She
11:59
Speaker 2: came back and I said, we need to have a
12:01
Speaker 2: little cuddle, and she came and lay on the bed
12:03
Speaker 2: with me and we started to talk about her list,
12:06
Speaker 2: but she got really really upset and didn't want to
12:08
Speaker 2: and she turned her back to me and I just said, Emily,
12:11
Speaker 2: I said, is this really about roadblocks? Or is this
12:15
Speaker 2: about the fact that you miss your friends? And she
12:19
Speaker 2: pretty much burst into tears. There are so many awesome
12:24
Speaker 2: things about homeschooling, and she recognizes it and loves it,
12:29
Speaker 2: but there are also some really big challenges. She doesn't
12:32
Speaker 2: like being the new kid in the room. She doesn't
12:35
Speaker 2: want to invest in meeting new friends if they're not
12:40
Speaker 2: going to be lifelong friends. There's some really big challenges
12:43
Speaker 2: for her around this, and so starting to infiltrate new
12:47
Speaker 2: homeschool groups and things is a really, really big deal
12:50
Speaker 2: for her. And so we haven't spent a lot of
12:53
Speaker 2: time looking in that space. She spent a lot of
12:56
Speaker 2: time on her own and she's been really happy doing it,
12:59
Speaker 2: but as time has gone on, there is this a
13:02
Speaker 2: deep hole, the big gape in her life where she
13:07
Speaker 2: wants her friends, but she's the only one who's not
13:10
Speaker 2: at school, and it's really really hard to sit there
13:14
Speaker 2: and navigate that space when there's so many other challenges
13:17
Speaker 2: going on. So this started off about roadblocks, but it's
13:20
Speaker 2: actually not about roadblocks. This is about a little girl
13:23
Speaker 2: who is desperate for connection. And I think the power
13:27
Speaker 2: comes when we can sit in those hard places with
13:30
Speaker 2: our kids and have hard conversations and help them to
13:35
Speaker 2: understand why they're so passionate about whatever it is that
13:40
Speaker 2: they're talking about. She thought that this was about roadblocks,
13:44
Speaker 2: but as we explored it together, there was a recognition
13:47
Speaker 2: that this is actually not really about roadblocks.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, for the record, I just love everything that you've said,
13:53
Speaker 1: and I also know it's not about roadblocks, but roadblocks
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Speaker 1: it's just such a big problem. I want to read
14:00
Speaker 1: more stats to you. That's how fast fred I am.
14:02
Speaker 1: But ultimately my older better tomorrow to come out of
14:05
Speaker 1: that is the answer will be know for her because
14:08
Speaker 1: of that and more, and because roadblocks won't solve the
14:11
Speaker 1: problem you know.
14:12
Speaker 2: One of the things she said to me, she said,
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Speaker 2: I just want to be normal, And I said, what
14:16
Speaker 2: does what does that mean? She said, well, I just
14:18
Speaker 2: want parents who actually don't care what I watch and.
14:22
Speaker 1: What I play.
14:23
Speaker 2: Because that's in her mind, that's what she's seeing. She
14:26
Speaker 2: just thinks that her friends are allowed to do whatever
14:28
Speaker 2: they want when they want, which is not the case.
14:30
Speaker 1: No, of course not, but from her are saying that
14:32
Speaker 1: their parents don't care.
14:33
Speaker 2: No, but from her perspective, that's what she sees, because
14:36
Speaker 2: we're putting limitations on her that her other friends don't have.
14:40
Speaker 2: Just to be normal.
14:41
Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow understanding your kids. By the way,
14:44
Speaker 1: that conversation led to some of the best hugs, and
14:47
Speaker 1: it was beautiful lay on the bed with our little
14:48
Speaker 1: ten year old and just listen to her and have
14:51
Speaker 1: her pour her heart out to us. It was a highlight,
14:54
Speaker 1: a highlight of the week. Just before we wrap up,
14:57
Speaker 1: if you've got autistic kids, our cour for Parenting Autism
15:01
Speaker 1: is on sale until Monday. Early bird closes on Monday
15:05
Speaker 1: at the end of the weekend. If you'd like to
15:07
Speaker 1: join us for what is just a life changing, game
15:11
Speaker 1: changing course about parenting autism. Visit happy families dot com
15:14
Speaker 1: dot IU. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
15:17
Speaker 1: Rowland from Bridge Media. I hope you have a great weekend.
15:19
Speaker 1: We'll be back with you on Monday.