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Transcript

39 TEA TIME: How to Make Friends in Your 20’s · The Rave Social Podcast

0:11
SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome back to the Rave Social podcast.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to say hello and welcome back, my gigglers, because currently I'm obsessed with the Giggly Squad podcast, Paige Disorbo and Hannah Burner.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: If you haven't listened to it, you need to.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: It's just so funny.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Like your life will never be the same.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, today we have a tea time episode.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: We are going to be talking about how to make friends in your 20s.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: This is a question that I get a lot in my DMs from girls who are like, How did you make friends?
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, how do you have friends?
0:48
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, girl, I got you.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Because honestly, that was truly one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my life was trying to make friends as a 22, 23 year old.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: Like, so hard.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk about that.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, and this podcast is for you if you maybe you didn't make friends in college for whatever reason.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I didn't make friends in college because I was married and we'll get into that later.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: But maybe you just didn't make friends in college.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you moved away from your hometown and now you're heading to college and you're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna make friends?
1:29
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've been divorced, me, and had to start over and kind of rebuild your friend group.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, and maybe you've experienced friendship breakups, me.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, or maybe you are just in your 20s somewhere and you're just feeling a little bit lonely, um, wanting to find like your girls.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of times we see on Instagram like all of these wonderful female friendships.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Everyone looks like they have a bestie, everyone looks like they have these like perfect groups of friends.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And I was honestly victim to that.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: I would watch all of these girls on the internet like really have people who seemed like they genuinely cared about them.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it made me feel like, what's wrong with me that I can't make a friend, you know?
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's just let's get into it.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: We'll dive in.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: I want to start with kind of my story and what makes me feel like I can talk on this.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's just start there.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: So, first things first, I did not have a lot of friends in high school.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Like I was on the cheer team, yes.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: I did hang around, I guess you could say like the popular kids, but I didn't really have a best friend.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: I I mean, I didn't have a best friend.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, everyone had a best friend besides me, and I always felt like, oh, where do I belong?
2:59
SPEAKER_00: Um I I often felt like I was like the second choice friend.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: So it was like, okay, if our core group of girls can't hang out on Friday or Saturday night, like then I'll ask Jaden if she wants to do something.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: And it's so hard and sad to be that friend because you know that's the friend you are, because you're not getting invited to the big parties, you're not getting invited to the girls getting ready before the school dance, you're not getting invited to those things, but you are getting invited if it's like they have literally nothing else to do.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that was kind of my experience.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, there were probably things about my personality that people didn't like or didn't want to get to know.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: I know that in high school I was a little bit more like closed off.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: So I probably wasn't like as friendly.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, but at the same time, like I wanted to be invited to these things, and I just kind of was always the second choice.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: So that was my experience making friends in high school.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't that great.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, the girlies who have like their high school friends still, not me.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: I have like literally one friend that I when we we didn't even go to high school together, we just grew up in the same neighborhood that we're still besties, but that is one person.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Everyone else, like, I literally never talked to.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: So that's crazy.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then right after I graduated high school, you guys already know this, I got married and I moved to Salt Lake like within three months to go to college at the University of Utah.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: And I moved in with my older sister, who had just graduated from college that year.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: So my sister and all her friends had already graduated college.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: I was just starting college.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: And because me and my sister lived together, I kind of just like adopted her friends.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And it was really fun.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: They did give me kind of a college experience and they did become like my besties.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, but as you can probably guess, that honestly exploded during COVID and after I got divorced.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: So um those friends, yeah, they were close, but then I lost all of them within a short period of time.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Not all of them, but most of them.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, and also because of that, like I really didn't make friends in college.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't like, I wasn't trying to make a friend.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Also, I was going to college like at night and online, and I was taking weird hour classes because I was working full-time and married.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: So like I wasn't going to college at the time that like the sorority kids were, or like when any of the like happening stuff was going on, I just wasn't there.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: So like I did not make friends in college.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then COVID happened, and a year after that, I got divorced.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: And then literally, as I was getting divorced, my sister and my best friend, she's the same person, moved across the country.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: She moved to Portland, Maine.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I live in Salt Lake City.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: She moved to Portland, Maine.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: Could not get farther away.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Still kind of mad at her for that.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, but that truly left me like I did not have a friend.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: I did not have a friend.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: My entire friend group had exploded when I got divorced.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: My sister was my best friend.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: She moved away.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: I was a sad girl.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: All I did was literally cry to my therapist about how I had nobody.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm so lonely.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: Everyone has left.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: My best friend I lost in the divorce.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Like that sounds sad.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, he took the dog.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: No, I did lose my best friend in the divorce, and that honestly was extremely, extremely hard.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: I had a lot of trust issues going on.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: I had a lot of internal trust issues going on.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: It was really hard for me to even, I mean, really consider making a friend, even though I really, really wanted a friend.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then finally, uh, I decided, you know, I need to make a freaking friend.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: And how am I gonna do this?
7:02
SPEAKER_00: I work from home, I work remotely.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was just like, how am I gonna make a friend?
7:09
SPEAKER_00: I don't leave my house.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, I'm gonna go back to yoga.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: But the thing with yoga is that like people a lot of times say, like, do a group fitness class, you'll meet friends, you'll meet friends.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: But my group fitness that I like to do is yoga, and yoga is silent.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: So honestly, like, not a good place to make friends.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, okay, that's not gonna work, so I need to try something else.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: A few things I tried were like quickly, I got on Bumble BFF.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I never actually met up with anyone from there.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, it just felt weird.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, my this is doesn't make sense, and this is my own internalized problems, but it's like I felt like, why are we all on this app if we can't make friends?
7:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, is there something wrong with us?
7:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was kind of judging the people on the app, and then I was like, but I'm on the app.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: So like I'm judging myself.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: It was just complicated, and I did kind of chat with some girls on there, but then I never did meet up with them, and eventually I just deleted the app and because I was like, well, I don't know.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: But honestly, that was probably when I was at my lowest point.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: I was like, literally anyone, like, I just need a friend.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, I tried DMing some people I knew from my hometown St.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: George that I knew lived up here.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: I would like message them and say, Hey, like, do you want to get a drink or something?
8:20
SPEAKER_00: And truth be fucking told, I got ghosted by girls so much.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: They would make literal plans with me Friday, seven o'clock.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Here we're gonna here, this location, everything.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: The day of, I would message them and be like, hey, just making sure we're all good.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: Ghosted.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: And if you're listening to this podcast and you are someone who would do that, think again.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: It is not hard to say, you know what, I'm not feeling it.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna make it tonight.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Maybe we could reschedule, or you don't even have to reschedule.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: You don't even have to give a reason.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: You just have to say, like, I'm not gonna make it.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: Don't let someone get ready for you, get dressed, and then almost get in their car and then think, hmm, they haven't responded.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't think they're gonna show up.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
9:07
SPEAKER_00: They didn't fucking show up.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: And that was so painful.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: I remember crying to my boyfriend, he's now my fiance, about that and being like, This is cruel.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, how could you do that to someone that is messed up?
9:20
SPEAKER_00: So don't do that.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably not that kind of person.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: But I was thoroughly surprised at how bad girls were treating me when I was just trying to make a friend.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, what the hell?
9:36
SPEAKER_00: You do not ghost people, that's crazy.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, but also, like what I noticed is I was I was spending time a lot of time on Instagram watching these other people.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't posting, I wasn't really engaging, but I was just kind of watching these groups of girls and like they had their girls, you know, they had their click, they weren't looking to bring someone else in.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like, you know, that's justified to a degree, but I felt really sad because I was like, I'm a fun person, I'm a chill person.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Like I would mesh into your group really well, I think, but nobody would open the door for me.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: And it was like cool, like that is so messed up.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: And I I understand like the challenge of making friends in your 20s is that you know, you either have like your friends you met in high school, your friends you met in college, or whatever.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: You have your group of people and they know you, like they know your personality, they know your lore, they know what you do for work, like they know all these things.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: And so then, like, bringing someone in where it's like, I know nothing about you, like I have to learn all of this about you, like dating.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: I understand how that feels uncomfortable to people, but like I can say this because now I'm on the other side of it, but like how fucking boring! How boring that you only want your four friends and you're not gonna make any new friends.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's so crazy and could never be me, which is why we started the girls' club.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Shameless plug.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: But honest to God, like let people be your friend.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: You have no idea how these people could enrich your life in so many ways.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, they may bring you new business partners, they may bring you new ideas, they may take you to cool places that you've never seen.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, why are we so closed off to making friends?
11:31
SPEAKER_00: I really would ask you to consider like why you're not willing to make new friends.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, but then you know, maybe we should get into like how to actually make friends.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, honestly, oh my god.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: The backside of my notes paper is an upside-down Halloween coloring page.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, you please don't judge me.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm doing the best that I can.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: Mercury is in retrograde.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: We're doing the best that we can, okay?
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Now I would like to get into how do you actually make friends?
12:10
SPEAKER_00: Like now that I've told my story and you can kind of see yourself there, or maybe you can't, I don't know.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about how you actually can make friends in your 20s because I've done it.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you something, it truly was not until the last 12 months.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: So I'm 27 now, on my way to 28, and it really was not until the last 12 months that like I actually really found my people and felt like accepted and seen and loved by them.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: So I just want to say, like, it does take time, and it's like any other relationship in your life, you know, when you're dating romantically, it's the same thing.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, it takes a second to get to know someone, to see if you jive, to see if you're a good fit.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: And I truly do believe like the more you try to force it, it's not gonna happen for you.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you try to force finding love, you're not gonna find love.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: If you try to force finding a best friend or a friendship, like you're just not going to.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think just being cautious of that and knowing, like, as long as you are taking the steps to like put yourself out there and try to connect with people and you're showing up with like authenticity, you will find your friends and you will find your people.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I just want to tell you that before we get into it.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: But now I'll kind of walk you through like my biggest friendships and how we kind of came to be.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: So, my best friend Lexi, I met through saying yes because one thing I learned when I had no friends was if you say no to everything, you're never gonna meet somebody.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you say no to every opportunity, you're never gonna meet any friends.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: So I met my best friend Lexi through saying yes to a healing retreat with some of my other good friends.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, but at the time we're complete strangers.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: So I had a friend that was also a coworker who's I think 16 or 17 years older than me.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, you know what?
14:25
SPEAKER_00: You should try this healing retreat, whatever she knew what I was going through.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, great.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: So I go.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm go up to the cabin.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: I have this wonderful retreat, I stay connected to some of the women in there and eventually kind of, you know, become friends with them and into their group, and they accept me into their group.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: And they had a friend, Lexi, through a whole butterfly effect of things.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: They were like, you know what, Lexi and Jaden, you guys would really like each other and you're the same age.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: So, like, so fun, you guys should meet.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: So I met Lexi, and you know, our relationship started off pretty like we clicked right away, but we were both very guarded.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: You guys know Lexi, she was on my podcast a couple of weeks ago for tea time.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: But, you know, we didn't rush into anything in our friendship, but it was like, hey, like, do you want to come to my birthday party?
15:17
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to come to my birthday party?
15:19
SPEAKER_00: Like, do you wanna do this together?
15:20
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to do this together?
15:21
SPEAKER_00: And we're like, yeah.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: And slowly over time, will you do my hair?
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, Lexi does my hair.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: Over time, we kind of built up that friendship.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: And then now she is truly one of my best friends, and she gets me and sees me like nobody else.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: But I would have never met Lexi if I didn't say yes to going to a healing retreat.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: So they're so widely disconnected.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: But my point here is if you are saying no and you won't try new things, it's going to be really hard to make friends.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, where are you gonna find them?
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Another way I met one of my best friends, Cass, was through Instagram.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: I think I've told you guys this story before, but I at some point decided like I need to be more active on Instagram.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: People need to know that like I'm alive and I exist so that I can even be on their radar to be invited to things, right?
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Because it's like if they don't know that you exist, like how are they gonna think, oh, maybe I should invite Jaden?
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I started posting a lot more on Instagram.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: I started kind of posting for my business, still wasn't fully started in my business yet.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I saw a reel of a the cutest girl, Cass, pop up on my feed and she was in Sugarhouse, where I lived.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: So I grew some balls, okay, which is what you're gonna have to do.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: And I said, I'm gonna message her and ask if she wants to go to dinner.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: And I did.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: I just we should go find that message, but I think I was just like, hi, like, do you live in Sugarhouse?
16:51
SPEAKER_00: She's like, Yeah, I'm like, me too.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, we should hang out.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: And um the rest is literally history because from that point forward, me and Cass have been really good friends.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: We started the girls' club.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Another reason why we started the girls' club because it's so freaking hard to make friends in your 20s.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, and honestly, that would have never happened if I didn't have the balls to just send the message.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: Who, if she would have ignored me, whatever, like moving on, you know?
17:21
SPEAKER_00: But she didn't, and we became really good friends.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: Another thing is that I literally was not afraid.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, this kind of connects to cast, but like I just was not afraid to ask people like, hey, do you wanna go get a coffee?
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Hey, do you wanna go get a drink?
17:38
SPEAKER_00: Hey, do you wanna go to this concert?
17:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, no fear.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: You have to get over your fear of like people not liking you.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Because you know what?
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Not everyone is gonna like you, not everyone is gonna DM you back.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: Some people will ghost you, like I mentioned earlier.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: And none of that matters, like, none of that has anything to do with who you are, but you're not gonna make a friend if you don't put an effort out there.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: And there were a lot of times that I would meet up with a girl, we'd get a drink, you know, we would click, but it wasn't like, you know, the chemistry wasn't there, and that's okay.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: And we didn't meet up again, and it was totally fine, and like they went their way, I went mine, like whatever.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: It is genuinely like dating, the more I think about it.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: But like, it's all good, they just weren't my cup of tea, they weren't my vibe, and that's okay, and I wasn't theirs, and it's fine, and now I have my people.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: So I really just think you have to let down that guard of like wanting people to like you and being afraid if they don't, because honestly, who cares?
18:41
SPEAKER_00: Another place I found friends was on a Facebook group called Fun on Weekdays.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: It's Jenna Palick's palek.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't really know how you say her name.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, group that she started from TikTok, but now it's a really big Facebook group, and you're probably like, ew, gross, Facebook.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Get off your high horse.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: I said that with love.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: Get on Facebook.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: There are good Facebook groups with girls who genuinely want to be your friend.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: I started posting in the Fun on Weekdays group.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: I met up with a couple girls from there.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Our relationship didn't take off, you know, we didn't become besties or anything, but I did make some friends in there.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: It passed some time when I felt like, oh, I have nothing to do.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm so bored, I have no friends.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: I was able to do a couple different activities with girls in that group.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: So I just join the Facebook group.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: Literally go join fun on weekdays.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Say, hi, I'm in Salt Lake City, I have no friends.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm in Pittsburgh, I have no friends.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: There are other girls that are like, I don't have any friends, I just moved here or whatever.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, you will find friends in there.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's a great way to just like try, just try putting yourself out there.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you could try Bumble BFF, I have that on my list, but I yeah, I don't know.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: I didn't love it there, but I do know people have not really good friends there.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: I will say that 90% of my friends came from like posting on Instagram, literally.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: And you're probably like, I don't want to post on Instagram.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: Listen, you don't need to become an influencer, you don't need to vlog, you don't need to do anything crazy.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Literally, all I was doing at that time was like maybe posting in my feed like once or twice.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Not even a week, like maybe once a week I was posting in my feed.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: I was just doing photo dumps, I was posting in my stories what I was doing.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm at this coffee shop, whatever.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just started to kind of post and like put myself out there so people knew I was a living, breathing human.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: And then they couldn't, you know, they could see me and invite me to something.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
20:44
SPEAKER_00: It worked.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Some of my other really good friends, Joss and Shelby, I worked with them when I first moved up here.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: They saw me start posting literally on Instagram and were like, we're gonna like I literally hadn't talked to them in five years.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: They put me in a group chat and we're like, let's go get a drink.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, hell yeah, that wouldn't have happened if I just like sunk into a hole and like didn't post, you know?
21:09
SPEAKER_00: And it may feel funny, you're like, why am I posting on Instagram for this?
21:12
SPEAKER_00: But it's like it really is to let people know that like you exist because people have full ass lives, like they're not, you know, searching out.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh, do I need in like I should invite my long-lost friend?
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Like, they're not thinking that.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: So if you don't post and like don't be at the forefront of their mind, like you're not gonna get the invitation that you want.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: And I really think you just have to be brave and like like comment on people's things, DM them, like ask them to go get a drink with you, like plan the event for them, you know.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Let's go get coffee and then go to the farmer's market, chill.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: That's all you need to do.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then the final thing, obviously, like I have to say this because the girls club was literally born from the fact that like making friends in your 20s is so hard.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: I've probably said that 30 times during this, but it just really, really is.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: And the reason that Cass and I started the girls club was to make that easier.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not a big deal.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of girls coming, a lot of them are coming alone.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: They're they don't have a friend to bring with them.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: They're they're showing up, they're coming alone, they want to meet a new friend just like you do.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: They want to do an activity together.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: It's not awkward because it's not like speed dating or something.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: Like you're just doing a yoga class together and then chatting about it.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, so that is why we started Girls Club.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: And if you're in Salt Lake City, we would love to have you come.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: Our next one is March 26th, which I think this episode, this episode might come out after that, but you can always follow the Girls Club on Instagram.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: It's called This Is a Girls Club, and we host monthly events, and you can come hang out with us and get cool stuff from a from brands, from our sponsors.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: So that's really fun.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I really just want to end this episode saying you're not doing anything wrong if you're finding it hard to find friends.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, from the moment I realized I needed to make more friends, that was like I was 23 when I got divorced, and all of that happened.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm 27, so that is a lot of years.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: That first year, I really didn't make a lot of friends.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, I had a lot of hard times.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: I felt very lonely.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: I felt like something was wrong with me.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: I felt like, why is this so hard?
23:41
SPEAKER_00: If it's this hard, it's probably my own fault.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I doing wrong?
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just want to give you some love.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm literally sending you a hug.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: If you feel lonely and you feel like it's hard to make friends right now, you're not alone in that.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: So many girls are feeling the same way.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, and you will find your people.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think just a couple months ago I told Lexi, like, I never thought I would have a friendship this close.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: And that's the truth.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: And your people will show up for you.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: The right ones will, and the ones that don't want to be your friend, like, they're just gonna fall off.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so I'm sending you a hug, and that is my guide to making friends in your 20s.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: If you have questions, if you need advice, literally DM me, I will respond.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: If you're like, how do I ask someone to get a drink with me?
24:36
SPEAKER_00: I got you.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you're like, you want to hang out with me, you could send me a DM.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: Let's do something.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: Anyways, thanks for listening, and we will see you in a few weeks.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.